Explore every episode of the podcast Dear Tween with Allison Ochs

“You’ve made Duo sad.” A crying owl, an angry red face, even a devil on the home screen widget. My tween co-host asks what to do when a language app starts sending guilt trips, and I share the story of a classroom full of kids who told me Duolingo was giving them nightmares. We talk about why a computer can’t actually feel sad, what a design trick is and why it’s built to make you feel bad, and why “time for a coffee boost” isn’t a great message for an eight year old. We also have a plan: tell your teachers and parents, and maybe send Duolingo a letter asking for a version designed responsibly for kids. Dear Tween, for the kids and their parents who deserve to know.

A tween asked me what to do after seeing something online they weren’t supposed to see, and my tween co-host gave the most honest answer I’ve heard: “My first thought is to tell my parents. My second thought is, what if they throw my device out the window?” That fear keeps a lot of kids silent, stuck with images and messages they never wanted to see. In this episode we talk about why kids want to tell, why they don’t, and the simple plan that makes it easier: agree on a safe word with your parents before anything happens, get their promise that you won’t be in trouble for speaking up, and know who else can help, like a grandparent, an aunt, or the tech person at school. Because telling someone isn’t just about making it stop. It’s about not carrying it alone. A great one for parents and tweens to listen to together.

A tween wrote in asking why their school suddenly switched from laptops in almost every lesson to barely ten minutes a day, and honestly, they find it really annoying. My co-host feels the same way, and we don’t agree on this one, which makes for an interesting conversation. I explain what the research says about handwriting, memory, and focus, and why so many schools are pulling back on screens right now. But my co-host makes a point every school should hear: if you take something away, explain why. Kids are old enough to understand the research, and without an explanation, it just feels like punishment. Plus, a simple trick for finally remembering those tricky spelling words.

A tween asked: my friend sent me a mean word and blamed it on autocorrect. Do I believe her? I'm joined by a tween co-host to dig into it. Does autocorrect really turn a normal word into a mean one? (We have our doubts.) We talk about why messages are so easy to misread when there's no tone of voice or body language, how one word in a group chat can turn into a whole fight with people taking sides, and whether parents and teachers actually know what's going on. I share what I'd do: don't reply online, don't blow up the friendship over one time, and talk about it in person if it bothers you. But if it keeps happening, it's time to get help from a parent, teacher, or school counselor. As my brother always used to say, everybody does something stupid sometimes.

Dear Tween, for the kids and their parents who deserve to know.

Ding, ding, ding. Our tween co-host wants to know why some kids spam the group chat with the same word or emoji over and over, even when everyone finds it annoying. Allison and Tween talk about why it happens (boredom and wanting attention), how quickly it can turn into kids ganging up, getting kicked out, and getting their feelings hurt, and what to do about it. Allison shares an easy fix every tween should know: muting a group chat so it can't interrupt you. She also makes the case for fewer group chats, more time together in person, and talking to your parents when things get messy online. This one is great to listen to together as a family.

Dear Tween. For the kids, and their parents who deserve to know.

Can you convince my parents to get me a smartphone? It's one of the questions Allison hears most in her workshops, so a tween asked it for everyone.

Spoiler: Allison isn't going to convince your parents. But she does explain why waiting is worth it, and our tween guest paints the perfect picture of what happens at the football pitch when one kid shows up with a phone. They also share real ideas for staying in touch with friends without your own smartphone, like borrowing a parent's phone for a few minutes a day, a dumb phone, or even a landline. Plus, how to talk to your parents about it in a way that actually works.

Dear Tween is for kids and the parents who love them. Parents, want the grown-up side of this conversation? Listen to "Why It's Worth Waiting to Give Your Kid a Phone," Part 1 of our phone series on Don't Tell My Parents, where Allison and Serene dig into this very episode. Older siblings can check out Dear Teen.

"You could give personal information to AI too, just to tell it to do something related to my email." A sharp question from a tween kicks off this honest conversation about what's actually safe to share online and what isn't: shopping, gaming, free quizzes, phishing emails, and photos. Allison and her young guest talk it through together- no lecture, just the truth.

This question came from a tween who said talking to AI feels easier than talking to real people. No arguments, no awkward pauses, always agreeable. Does that sound familiar?

In this episode, Allison sits down with a charming tween who helps her unpack and answer this question, including a big word most tweens have never heard: sycophantic.

If you want to talk with your tween or your class about why AI chatbots are designed to always agree with you, and why real friends who push back matter more, then this is for you. The conversation that follows this podcast is what will make it magical.

This question came straight from a tween who had used ChatGPT to do their homework, told everyone it was their own work, and now classmates are asking questions the child can't answer. Does this sound familiar?

In this episode, Allison sits down with a charming tween who helps her unpack and answer this question.

If you want to discuss with your tween or the class why cheating with AI isn't the best idea, then this is for you. The conversation that follows this podcast is what will make it magical.

The tween asks Allison, "I had ChatGPT do my homework and told everyone it was my idea. Now they're asking me questions I cannot answer. What do I do?" Subscribe to hear the answer and dialogue between Allison and the tween on this topic.