Explore every episode of the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Letter Spotlight: Friends Who Never Ask About You | 06 Sep 2024 | 00:12:05 | |
Episode: #111 It's another letter spotlight episode! This week's anonymous letter is from a woman with two friends who never ask about her. She's fed up doing all the listening and none of the talking. She wants to know how to handle this friendship dynamic and whether other Dear Nina listeners deal with this same issue. Let us know in our facebook group, Dear Nina: The Group. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Neurodiversity and Friendships | 28 Aug 2024 | 00:39:53 | |
Episode #110: "Neurodivergent friending" James, like many GenX neurodivergent people, had no diagnoses until later in adult life. He says, "In writing my recent book, I step back and connect disparate laments in public discourse (weak community, weak friendships, weak family ties, shallow approaches to fun and dating, junk food, impulse-driven diets) back to our very American, hyper-individualistic approach to life in general. We are settlers on our own personal frontiers, I like to say. We curate, personalize, and edit everything. And it's not working out too well for many of us—this unstructured, de-ritualized life of infinite opportunity and lonely stumbling. We try hard to curate our social worlds as executive editor instead of letting them build through giving and receiving our time organically. I was the worst at this in my twenties. I curated an austere, monkish life that was not good for me or anyone. Monks have far more community than I experienced! And more friends!" James F. Richardson is a Ph.D. cultural anthropologist who has studied American society for twenty years as a market research consultant. Recently, the author of a new nonfiction book – Our Worst Strength: American Individualism and Its Hidden Discontents - questions our approach to individualism as a way of life. He lives in Tucson, Arizona, where he writes a weekly Substack — Homo Imaginari — for a growing international readership. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Best (adult) Friends, Friendship Trios, Being More Direct with Friends, and More | 21 Jun 2024 | 00:27:44 | |
Episode #101: It's the first official "ask me anything" episode in honor of 100 episodes!
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Making Deeper Connections With Friends: Jessica Smock | 13 Dec 2021 | 00:29:15 | |
Episode #14: The most essential point in this episode is about creating opportunities to see the same people on a regular basis. It takes a lot of repeated time together to get more familiar and really feel CLOSE. I think it’s why pickle ball and paddle ball leagues are getting so popular as one example. I also discuss how keeping expectations in check might also be the key to feeling happier with the friendships we already have. My guest for this episode is Jessica Smock, one of the co-creators of The HerStories Project website along with Stephanie Sprenger. Jessica and Stephanie first hired me in 2014 to become their friendship advice columnist! You can find the show notes HERE. If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Get Out of Your Comfort Zone to Make New Friends: Michelle Platt | 29 Nov 2021 | 00:31:15 | |
Episode #13: Making new friends as an adult is difficult whether it’s because you moved to a new city, you’re in a new stage of life, or you’re lonely and could use more friends. It takes tons of time to make casual friends you want to see repeatedly and even more time to make close friends. But it’s not impossible. Difficult? Yes. Takes consistent effort and work? Also yes. But it can be done. What helped me make friends in Minneapolis when I moved 20+ years ago in my 20s was accepting that I would often have to be the one to make the effort, and I'd have to do things out of my comfort zone. My guest, Michelle Platt, found she needed the same attitude when she moved to Minneapolis a few years ago in her 40s. This episode isn't only about Minneapolis! Moving anywhere at any age presents challenges. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Helping a Friend In Crisis and Asking For Help | 15 Nov 2021 | 00:25:50 | |
Episode #12: How can we help a friend who’s in crisis because of illness or grief? And how can we ask for help rather than waiting for friends to know exactly what to do? A few months ago, Alissa reached out on email to discuss a trend she saw on some of the Facebook pages and forums for widows. She wrote: One thing I see over and over in these groups is people complaining that friends who said they'd be there for them have disappeared or dropped off or stopped supporting them. Now, maybe I am just lucky, but I honestly don't feel that way. I feel like I have lots of friends who would be there for me -- all I have to do is ask. I certainly don't expect my friends to read my mind or guess what I need from them. And each time I see one of these complaints, I WANT to reply, "Have you asked for help? Do they know what you need? Are you expecting too much?"
You can find the show notes HERE. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Lessons From Male Friendships | 01 Nov 2021 | 00:19:22 | |
Episode #11: My brother-in-law, Dave Dluger, and I were talking after recording an episode, we got into a conversation about how male friendships seem to involve less drama and I realized we ought to record it as an episode. I loved getting a male perspective on some of the previous episodes. In addition to male friendships, we talked about friends being there for Dave and my sister during hard times, being aware of our personality foibles while with good friends, thoughts on friends ignoring our social media posts, and much more. FULL SHOW NOTES HERE. If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Mini-Episode: Friends Make Mistakes | 24 Oct 2021 | 00:03:23 | |
Last week in episode #10 with author Jessica Speer who wrote BFF or NRF, we talked briefly about her nine friendship truths. We mainly focused on truth #9— which was “You choose which of your friendships to grow. Grow the healthy ones.” In this mini-episode I am focusing on Jessica's truth #6— "Everyone makes mistakes." If we want wiggle room to make mistakes with friends, we have to allow friends to make mistakes with us. Sounds obvious, but there are definitely people out there with a zero tolerance for others' mistakes (while allowing themselves room to mess up). If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| My Kid Isn't Interested In Pursuing This Friendship: Jessica Speer | 18 Oct 2021 | 00:29:36 | |
Episode #10: It's not easy to say no to a friendship. And it's just as hard to help our kids do the same. How do you handle it when you’re not interested in pursuing a friendship, but you don’t want to be unkind when subtly communicating that message to an acquaintance? And how do we help kids make decisions about which friendships to pursue? It's tricky to simultaneously teach kids to make their own decisions about friendships while teaching them to treat people with kindness. I have the perfect guest to help me dissect this issue of balancing kindness and inclusivity but also boundaries and independence in friendship decisions--author, Jessica Speer. If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Friends Will Hang Out Without You | 04 Oct 2021 | 00:20:02 | |
Episode #9: Accepting that friends will hang out without you is a key to happier adult friendships. My best friend Taryn Kessel and I discuss that truth. We also talked about how to balance the desire for smaller, intimate friend gatherings with the desire to never leave anyone out. If you've ever been excluded, you know how terrible it feels. But as we get older, we need to figure out how to be gracious about "letting" friends hang out without us, especially if we are also the types who value outings with a few friends at a time. In other words, everybody can't be invited to everything. Most of us know that, but it's too hard to accept. If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Mini-Episode: A Positive View on Friends Asking Personal Questions | 27 Sep 2021 | 00:05:00 | |
A mini-ep to understand why friends ask personal or even intrusive questions, which came up in episode 8 with my mom: “How to handle friends’ questions you don’t want to answer." In that episode, my mom and I talked about strategies for avoiding giving away information, but we didn’t try to understand where intrusive/personal/intimate questions come from in the first place. Today's episode is a more positive view to consider.Let's connect!
If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| When Friends Ask Questions You Don't Want to Answer | 20 Sep 2021 | 00:16:50 | |
Episode #8: The role of privacy in close friendships, the line between intimacy and privacy, the lines between white lies/ withholding information, and the right to keep some things to yourself. My guest is my mom, the queen of the artful dodge. We discuss how to manage these sometimes invasive (even when well-intentioned) conversations without hurting feelings or making things awkward. It’s not easy!
If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Mini-Episode: The Friendship Apology Prayer We All Need | 14 Sep 2021 | 00:05:00 | |
Sometimes we're waiting for apologies from friends and sometimes we owe apologies. Inspired by the Al Chet prayer we say in synagogue on Yom Kippur, I’m offering a version related only to friendship. And like we do for Yom Kippur, I’m using “we” not “I” because I’d like to think I’m not alone in my friendship transgressions. I know not everyone reading this follows the Jewish calendar, but it’s always a good time for a fresh start. FIND SHOW NOTES HERE If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The Magic of Camp Friends: Dara Levan | 13 Jun 2024 | 00:40:16 | |
Episode #100: They say camp friends are the best friends. Why? At camp there are no screens, you take risks, parents aren't breathing down your back, and the magic ingredients of endless hours + constant proximity make it possible to create intense, close bonds with kids your age.
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Forgiveness After a Friendship Breakup | 06 Sep 2021 | 00:37:11 | |
Episode #7: Friendship breakups and repairing a broken friendship. One of my best friends, who was once an ex-friend, and I discussed whether it’s possible to truly forgive a friend who hurt you and whether you can restart a friendship that ended. We did it and we think others can, too. Forgiving someone doesn’t always mean staying friends or becoming friends again. I’m merely asking listeners to be open to the possibility. The main part of today’s episode will focus on the very close friend, Rebecca Kotok, who gave me a second a chance. FIND SHOW NOTES HERE
If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Unfriend, Mute, Hide, Unfollow, or Block on Social Media | 30 Aug 2021 | 00:05:29 | |
Episode #6: Unfollowing a friend on social media is not always the answer. This quick episode will help you decide between unfollowing, muting, hiding, unfriending, or blocking. A friend's posts are bugging you on social media? Unfriending is not always the answer. If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The Friend Who Ignores Your Social Media Posts | 22 Aug 2021 | 00:19:58 | |
Episode #5: How much engagement can expect friends to have on your social media posts? Have you ever had a friend who presses "like" and comments on all of your mutual friends’ posts but ignores yours? You’d like to rise above it all, but you can’t help feeling hurt? Or, are you the person who scrolls through friends' posts, but can't bring yourself to "like" them? My guest, Rudri Patel, and I give advice to a letter writer who is frustrated by her close friend's social media shunning. And remember to stick around for the Better Friendship Goal of the week at the end of the episode. FIND THE SHOW NOTES HERE If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Revealing Too Much Too Soon With New Friends: Christie Tate | 09 Aug 2021 | 00:27:01 | |
Episode #4: Christie Tate, author of Group: How One Therapist And A Circle of Strangers Saved My Life, joined me to answer an anonymous question about mental health and how much to reveal to a new friend. Christie and I discussed if you have what some might consider "extra baggage," whether this is something you should tell a new friend right away. If not, when is the right time to share personal details that might scare away a new friend if told too soon? And then remember to stick around for the Better Friendship Goal of the week at the end of the episode. FIND THE SHOW NOTES HERE If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The Friend Who Never Initiates Contact | 26 Jul 2021 | 00:22:31 | |
Episode #3: Are you the friend who calls or texts first and reaches out for plans, or do you let your friends reach out first? In this episode my guest, Pam Moore, and I answer a letter from someone who is tired of making all the effort to get in touch or instigate plans. And as it turns out, some of the most popular internet searches leading to my website is the phrase, "My friend never initiates contact," "My friend never texts first," "My friend never makes plans first," "Why do I always have to initiate plans first?" So obviously there are plenty of people out there feeling insecure about being the ones who initiate contact first and it makes them question whether the friendship is real or one worth continuing to pursue if it’s a newer friend. Pam and I spoke about what it's like when you're the friend who always initiates contact, or when you’re the friend who lets other people reach out first. Remember to stick around for the Better Friendship goal at the end of the episode. If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The Friend Who Will Only Text | 26 Jul 2021 | 00:16:07 | |
Episode #1: If you have a friend who will only text, do you accept that fact if you’re more of a phone talker? What if you're the one who prefers to text, but your good friend insists on phone chats? Can a friendship last when the modes of communication are not agreed upon? My guest today is my mom, Kathy Sackheim, whose wise words I've quoted in my column for many years. And don’t forget to listen to the end of the show for your Better Friendship Goal of the week. If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The Friend Whose Kid Is Being Mean To Your Kid | 26 Jul 2021 | 00:16:02 | |
Episode #2: How do you manage adult friendships when the kids are fighting or are no longer friends. Can adult friendships survive after the kids’ friendships have ended? Even after your close friend's kid/tween/teen was nasty to your kid? We say yes, but it can be an artful dance of not getting on somebody else's emotional roller coaster. And don’t forget to listen to the end of the show for the Better Friendship Goal of the week. FIND THE SHOW NOTES HERE If you like what you're hearing, please tell a friend! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Welcome to Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship | 14 Jul 2021 | 00:01:33 | |
Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship is a podcast for people who love discussing the ups and downs of friendship. You’d think after answering anonymous friendship questions online since 2014 that I’d be sick of the topic. I’m not! In fact, I’m more interested than ever about why some friendships work and why some don’t. On Dear Nina, I’ll be answering letters from anonymous readers and listeners with topics like how to end a friendship, whether texting is enough to sustain a friendship, what to do if your friend is always selling you something, setting boundaries with friends who ask for a lot of favors, what to do if you’re always the friend who initiates contact first, and lots more. I'll also have exciting guests on to share their perspectives. We’ll chat about making friends, keeping friends, and taking all the drama and confusion out of our adult friendships. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The 14-Day Friendship (Mindset) Cleanse: Anna Goldfarb | 04 Jun 2024 | 00:33:07 | |
Episode #99: Welcome to the 14-day friendship (mindset) cleanse, brainchild of previous Dear Nina guest, Anna Goldfarb, whose book Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections, is finally out in the world. Don't feel put off by the word, "cleanse." This discussion is about reconsidering how you're approaching friendships and how you're treating your closest friends. (And that particular list shouldn't be too long.) * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| 5 (Hard) Questions to Evaluate Your Friendships | 28 May 2024 | 00:14:25 | |
Episode #98: There are five questions I want us to be asking ourselves to get a sense of where our friendships stand. Even if you're not a student or a parent, thinking in school months is a helpful measure of time. Maybe you got some grades. Maybe your kids got grades. Maybe at work you got an evaluation. It's also worth your time to evaluate your friendships and give yourself an honest assessment. And if you DO have kids of any age all the way through college, this is a good short episode to send them. I'm saying "us" because I'm here assessing right along with you as I'm trying to be the friend I want to be and have friendships in my life that feel fulfilling. The 5 questions also make good journal prompts. Each question deserves more time than I can give them on the podcast. I've personally found as a writing teacher (and a lifelong writing student) that putting pen to paper or fingers to the keyboard brings unexpected answers to the surface. The questions are listed below so that you don't have to write them down while listening. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Disclosing My Invisible Disability Increased the Intimacy In My Friendships: Estelle Erasmus | 19 May 2024 | 00:25:11 | |
Episode #97: Invisible disabilities can turn into a source of shame and unknowingly get in the way of friendships. What is an invisible disability? It's any condition that is not obvious, perhaps even to the closest of friends. Some examples are depression, anxiety, other mental health diagnoses, as well as physical conditions such as chronic pain, fatigue, and too many other examples to list where symptoms are felt but not seen. This week's guest, Estelle Erasmus, shares her experience with genetic hearing loss that began in her 20s and stayed a secret long after she started wearing hearing aids. In her piece for Shondaland.com, "I'm Learning to Listen in New Ways" Estelle shares the stress of keeping that secret from friends and the deep relief of telling the truth. I'm grateful to share her perspective with Dear Nina listeners. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Mixtapes, Mahjong, and Other Sensory Friendship Experiences: Gretchen Rubin | 10 May 2024 | 00:47:43 | |
Episode #96: I have been a Gretchen Rubin fan since 2009 when I read The Happiness Project the week it came out. Who could resist that cover and concept? And I cannot believe this, but I got to discuss my favorite topic, friendship, with Gretchen Rubin on Dear Nina.
Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential observers of happiness and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers Life in Five Senses, Outer Order, Inner Calm; The Four Tendencies; Better Than Before; and The Happiness Project. Her books have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than thirty languages. She hosts the top-ranking, award-winning podcast “Happier with Gretchen Rubin,” where she explores practical solutions for living a happier life. Raised in Kansas City, she lives in New York City with her husband and two daughters. You can find everything you need at gretchenrubin.com. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Overtalking, Undertalking, and Lessons on Friendship in the Art of Storytelling: Micaela Blei | 30 Apr 2024 | 00:30:11 | |
Episode #95: Oversharing, overtalking, undertalking, undersharing, small talk, deep talks, mismatches in vulnerability, and the art of listening---these are the tricky friendship topics we are dealing with today. I'm joined by Micaela Blei, a GrandSLAM-winning storyteller and former founding Director of Education at The Moth.
Meet Micaela Blei, PhD: Micaela’s own storytelling can be heard on The Moth Radio Hour and podcast, Family Ghosts, Risk! and many others. Her Audible Original memoir, “You Will Not Recognize Your Life,” will be released on Audible later this year. Find out more, and hear more stories, at micaelablei.com. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| 5 Friendship Issues to Address With a Therapist: Roxanne Francis | 17 Apr 2024 | 00:24:42 | |
Episode #94: Everyone runs into bumps in their friendships. Trust me, I have a decade's worth of writing material from readers and listeners to prove that point. But when are friendship issues getting to the point where addressing them with a therapist is highly recommended? I'm joined by award-winning psychotherapist, Roxanne Francis, who responded brilliantly and graciously to the five areas of friendship dilemmas I hear about most often. #1. You feel you have no friends. #2. You struggle to keep friends because friends are ghosting you. #3. You struggle to keep friends because you often cut people out of your life. #4. The majority of your friendships are happening through a screen. #5. Protecting your boundaries has become extreme, making it difficult to connect with friends and community. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Small Friendship Slights and Changing Your Instagram Handle | 11 Apr 2024 | 00:08:46 | |
Episode #93: A quick conversation about the subtle hurts that can make friendship difficult. It's the small slights I cover on Dear Nina in general, not the giant betrayals. Why? The big "stuff" is much more black and white, and we don't need much conversation around whether to stay friends. Today I also have a big instagram tip if you're looking to change your Instagram handle. I changed mine to @dearninafriendship. Instagram doesn't make it all that simple if you have tons of links in the world leading to your old handle (which I do). I explain it all in the episode.
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The Courage to Trust Friends After You’ve Been Hurt | 03 Apr 2024 | 00:14:45 | |
Episode #92: For anyone who has been hurt by a friend--or a group of friends--recently or in the past, this 14-minute episode is for you. It's a solo episode that came from my reaction to a TikTok video I saw by a woman who was left out of a group trip years ago and has decided she will never trust anyone with her friendship again. Other titles I considered: (and all relate to this 14-minute episode!)
In other words, I covered all of the above in this one. LINKS MENTIONED:
"There's so much focus on who wasn't interested, who drifted away, who left, who left you out, who left your kid out. Let's focus on who said yes. That is where our energy should be.” “I don't think it's a good idea to ‘normalize,' to use an extremely overused word on the internet, turning our lives upside down when friends do things without us. If we're going to normalize anything, let's normalize that friends WILL hang out without us. Just like we sometimes want to hang out in smaller groups or with just one or two people.” * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Quiet Quitting a Friendship: Withdrawing from friends or ending friendships: Dr. Miriam Kirmayer | 20 Aug 2024 | 00:33:34 | |
Episode #109: Let's say you know that a friendship has run its course, but the friend has done nothing wrong. How do we go about distancing from a friend or ending a friendship? How do we process it when we feel a friend withdrawing? How do we negotiate conflict or transitions that are going to come up in many friendships?
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Why Big Friend Groups Often Fail; And Helping Kids Manage Conflict with Friends: Dr. Lisa Damour | 25 Mar 2024 | 00:27:23 | |
Episode #91: Dr. Lisa Damour's latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers , is out in paperback. On this episode we revisit the best nuggets of my previous conversation with Dr. Lisa, focusing on teen and tween friend groups and all of the anxiety that goes along with parenting a teen who is dealing with not being in a group. We cover teens not liking their place in a group, wishing they had a group, wishing they had a smaller group, and so on.
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The Friends You Want Around During a Crisis: Kelly Lang | 18 Mar 2024 | 00:28:41 | |
Episode #90: Many of us say we would be there for our friends in an emergency, but that's often theory until it's tested. Not everyone can rise to the occasion. And crisis is a time when the friends you want around you and the ones you may need to leave behind (even for just a while) becomes very clear. Find Kelly: LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Threads * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Negative Friendship Patterns; Breaking an Unhealthy Cycle: Christie Tate | 10 Mar 2024 | 00:35:57 | |
Episode #89: Do you ever feel like you or someone you know is just not “good at” friendship? It's never too late to address negative patterns in our friendships or any relationship. Today's guest, author Christie Tate, author of B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found, set out to break decades of unhealthy cycles in her friendships. Do you think you "suck at friendship" as Christie thought before she started this process? There is hope! Christie is here to prove it.
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Differences of Opinion With Friends and The Potential of Friendship Between Cousins: Emily Locker | 29 Feb 2024 | 00:30:19 | |
Episode #88: Managing differences of opinion with friends can get tricky. An obvious area is politics, but smaller differences also get between friends, like parenting decisions. Here to talk about developing empathy and managing these potential differences is therapist and author, Emily Locker. Emily's debut novel, Running Mates, is a modern day Romeo and Juliet and one of the best fictional versions I've read of friends with big differences---political ones in this case. Emily and I lean into her professional work as a therapist for advice on how to get along with people who have different points of view. Meet Emily Locker: Emily lives in Washington, D. C. with her husband and two young sons. Find Emily on Instagram @emilylocker. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Beyond The Golden Girls: Platonic Life Partners at Any Age: Rhaina Cohen | 19 Feb 2024 | 00:29:33 | |
Episode #87: Shows like The Golden Girls and Grace & Frankie are beloved by so many, but also treated as a fantasy. What if platonic life partnerships didn't have to be merely a dream? What if you didn't have to wait until retirement age to consider centering your life around friendship? Today's guest, Rhaina Cohen, author of The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center, profiles platonic partners in her book who are at different ages and stages of life. While there have always been people throughout history making the choice to commit their lives to a friend rather than a romantic partner, there are not common models, labels, or legal benefits for these kind of arrangements. MEET RHAINA COHEN: Rhaina Cohen is an award-winning producer and editor for NPR’s documentary podcast Embedded. She was named a 2021/2022 National Endowment for the Humanities Public Scholar for her debut nonfiction book, The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center. Her writing, often focused on social connection, has appeared in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post and elsewhere. She’s spent most of her career working on podcasts that blend narratives and ideas, including Hidden Brain, Invisibilia and Rough Translation. Find Rhaina on Twitter and Instagram. We discussed:
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Every New Friendship Takes Courage: Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston | 08 Feb 2024 | 00:32:26 | |
Episode #86: Making friends and deepening existing friendships starts with some basic truths.
These are just two of many wise and thoughtful quotes about making friends and deepening friendships from today's guests, Amy Weatherly and Jess Johnston. Amy, Jess, and I---three friendship enthusiasts---shared times we've been brave in making friends and deepening those friendships as well as times we've struggled.
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The More the Merrier is not Always True: with Danielle Bayard Jackson | 30 Jan 2024 | 00:38:09 | |
Episode #85: "The more the merrier" is a common expression for good reason. Most of us don't want to be considered exclusive. We want others to feel welcomed and comfortable around us. But there are times when the more the merrier is not the case-- when the group dynamics for a particular event won't work if everyone comes along. In episode 85, I have a tough conversation with Danielle Bayard Jackson, an incredibly clear-thinking friendship coach and national speaker on the topic of female friendships. Danielle Bayard Jackson is a female friendship coach and educator who speaks nationally on the subject of friendship as a wellness imperative. Her coaching business, Friend Forward, is dedicated to teaching women how to create and maintain better female friendships. Danielle’s expertise has been featured in NBC News, Psychology Today, Wall Street Journal, Oprah Magazine, and many other outlets. She shares her insight weekly on The Friend Forward Podcast and has a book coming out in spring 2024 called Fighting For Our Friendships. Danielle is the official spokesperson for Bumble’s new app Bumble For Friends. Personal IG - @daniellebayardjackson. Friend Forward IG - @friendforward * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Turning an Acquaintance Into a Friend: Debra Arbit | 22 Jan 2024 | 00:33:24 | |
Episode #84: Debra Arbit and I tell our real-life friendship story, which is a great example of going from barely acquaintances to close friends in our 40s. Well, when we met Debra was still in her 30s, but I was in my 40s. We share the emails and texts that move us from office-mates to friends. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Becoming Friends with Fellow Exes: Lara Starr | 15 Jan 2024 | 00:24:08 | |
Episode #83: Have you ever befriended your ex's ex? Today's episode focuses on the potential friendship that comes from a shared hurt and a shared healing. I was intrigued when Lara Starr emailed me about her "sister exes." Lara has written extensively in her Substack, It's Kind of a Long Story, about the friendships that came from bonding with the women who were emotionally hurt by the same man. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The Lasting Ties of Friendships Formed in Difficult Times: Jenny Leon | 03 Jan 2024 | 00:30:50 | |
Episode #82: The friendships formed during difficult, even dark, periods of our lives create a lasting impact unlike any other bond. These friendships "in the trenches" can come in many forms---a health crisis, a traumatic experience, or even experiencing an especially intense work environment with a harsh boss and terrible hours. In addition, a voicemail from Renee Schuls-Jacobson about finding camaraderie during clonazepam withdrawal reaffirms the profound support we discover in our darkest times. You can learn more about Renee's story in here. Jenny Leon is a former Manhattan finance lawyer who started writing when she got diagnosed with breast cancer in her 33rd week of pregnancy with her second child. She is working on a memoir on how her love of being a mother provided her with a lifeline to get through a double mastectomy, chemo and radiation. Jenny's essays have been nominated for a Pushcart Prize and other awards. Most of her work focuses on motherhood, anxiety, and breast cancer. Her writing has been featured in the Globe and Mail, HuffPost Canada, the Buffalo News, Motherwell, Kveller and HerStry amongst others. Additionally, she has been featured in numerous campaigns and presentations for Sharsheret, a national nonprofit that focuses on assisting young women and their families affected by the BRCA mutation. Find all of Jenny's publications and interviews here. You can follow her on Instagram. And if you'd like to message her directly, she is always happy to hear from others and to help. She can be found at jennyroseleon@gmail.com * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Talking to Friends About Money: Mia Brabham Nolan | 14 Aug 2024 | 00:27:20 | |
Episode #108: Talking to friends about money has always been a taboo topic. What if, instead, discussing money with friends could deepen a friendship? We discussed:
The two pieces of Mia's in Shondaland.com we specifically discussed in depth: "How Much Are Your Friendships Costing You" "The Art of Friendship: How to Open Up About Money"
Mia Brabham Nolan is currently a staff writer at Shondaland.com. She pens the series "Joy Makers" and "The Art of Friendship." Her debut book, Note to Self, which is a short collection of life lessons, is in the hands of readers all over the world. Instagram, Twitter, bymiabrabham.com * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Friends Who Want to Hear Your Good News: Chaz Sandifer | 22 Dec 2023 | 00:32:58 | |
Episode #81: Have you ever held back sharing good news because you sensed a friend wasn't truly celebrating with you? Do you have friends who show up in bad times, but are slow to show support in good times? This episode is for you! I share some thoughts on identifying the friends who want to hear your good news, how to develop more friendships like that, and how to be that kind of friend to others.
Chaz is the founder and owner of theNEWmpls, a holistic health and wellness company specializing in fitness, wellness, and nutrition. They offer private fitness classes around the Twin Cities and a variety of special programs with various partners. Chaz is the sole source for diabetes prevention in Ramsey County. She also owns Lakeview Terrace Farmers Market, the only Black woman owned farmer’s market in Minnesota.
Find Chaz on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn. * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Neediness in Friendships: Sally Vardaman | 11 Dec 2023 | 00:29:11 | |
Episode #80: "Neediness" has come up in plenty of episodes, but this is the first one dedicated to that loaded word. The episode was inspired by a letter from a listener--author, Sally Vardaman, who found herself reacting to my mom's story in episode #72 about her decision to end a friendship over what she called, "neediness." Sally's letter was so reflective and insightful that I asked her to come on the show.
Sally Vardaman is a writer who believes in the power of stories to make us think, question our assumptions, and connect with each other despite our differences. She is the author of Shoot the Arrows, a new book of essays to her three teenage children on why honesty and self-reflection are the keys to a healthy and meaningful life. You can find more about her work at sallyvardaman.com. As well as on Facebook, Instagram, and Goodreads.
Sally wrote, "There are no quick fixes and we need all the education we can get. The great thing about books and learning is we always have the opportunity to understand ourselves better and change."
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Moving Every Three Years and Creating Community: Bri McKoy | 27 Nov 2023 | 00:28:41 | |
Episode #79: Bri McKoy is a cookbook author and military wife who has moved seven times in 12 years. She went from burning everything in the kitchen to learning to cook as a way to create community. Have you ever wondered how to make good friends in a new city? Bri has repeatedly accomplished this task with some towns proving harder than others. We covered:
FIND BRI MCKOY: * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Pursuing a New Friend and Texting Etiquette | 13 Nov 2023 | 00:30:30 | |
Episode #78: You feel good potential friendship chemistry with someone, but then what to do next? This is an episode about pursuing a new friend. (We also get into some texting etiquette.)
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Loneliness and Male Friendship: Gabe Mollica | 31 Oct 2023 | 00:21:29 | |
Episode #77: If there's one thing we need these days, it's some joy and laughter. It's dark times. And while today's story of a heartbreak from a friendship breakup isn't exactly what we think of as funny on its own, I am thrilled to tell you that there is a fantastic comedian out there who has made humor and art out of a painful friendship breakup he had in college. Gabe Mollica's one-man show is called Solo: A Show About Friendship. How could I not feature it on Dear Nina? If you're a fan of This American Life, you might have already heard a bit of comedian Gabe Mollica's friendship breakup story. Reporter Aviva DeKornfeld did a story called “Say It To My Face” about Gabe. I don't want to give too much away from that episode, but for context, Aviva managed to interview not only Gabe, but also his former college best friend, Tim. The parts with Tim are the fantasy anyone with a friendship breakup has ever had. Gabe got to hear from the friend who got away. And it was that part I related to most in Gabe's story. We discussed it more in today's episode. Listen to Gabe and I swap friendship break-up stories and share how we both turned that pain into art. Gabe is a masterful storyteller, and his one-man show, Solo: A Show About Friendship, is in the middle of a long run in New York City with shows planned in Chicago and other cities, too.
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Yes, Reach Out to Your Friends During a Crisis | 18 Oct 2023 | 00:18:05 | |
Episode 76: This episode of Dear Nina focuses on reaching out amidst turmoil (this time in particular, in the Middle East), navigating conversations when you’re not sure what to say, and the profound impact of letting someone know you’re thinking of them.
Past episodes mentioned in this episode: "The Friend Who Never Initiates Contact" "The Friend Who Ignores Your Social Media Posts"
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| Scheduling, Structure, and Traditions as the Key to Making and Keeping Friends | 04 Oct 2023 | 00:30:47 | |
Episode #75: If you're struggling with managing your friendships or looking for innovative ways to make new friends, this episode is your roadmap to a richer, more fulfilling social life. What you might be missing if you're not spending time with friends is a container for those friendships. My guests have tons of ideas for you! * All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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| The Childhood Friendships that Shaped Our Identities: Kristin Nilsen | 27 Sep 2023 | 00:31:22 | |
Episode #74 with Kristin Nilsen: Have you ever stopped to acknowledge the profound impact of your childhood friendships, even the most casual and fleeting ones, on your adult identity?
* All transcripts are available on the main Buzzsprout "Dear Nina" site. Click on any episode and find the transcript tab.
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