Explore every episode of the podcast Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| #217 - The Friendship Conversation You've Been Avoiding (Jewel Hohman) | 27 oct. 2026 | 00:51:27 | |
How to address hurt feelings, unmet expectations, and changing friendships Have you ever been upset with a friend but decided it would be easier to say nothing? Maybe you're tired of always initiating plans, a friend made a joke that stung, or you sense that a once-close friendship is drifting. Sometimes we avoid these conversations because we don't want to make things awkward. But is staying silent actually helping the friendship? My guest, Jewel Hohman, has spent nearly 6,000 hours coaching people on social anxiety and friendship. She joins me with a practical framework and scripts for deciding when to speak up, when to let something go, and how to have the conversation you've been avoiding. We discuss:
As Jewel says, "Confrontation is truly an investment in the friendship." But that doesn't mean every disappointment needs a conversation or that every expectation we have of our friends is reasonable. One of my biggest takeaways from this conversation is that we sometimes give up on friendships before giving our friends a chance to understand what's bothering us. We can't control their responses, but we can decide whether to speak up. Is there a friendship conversation you've been avoiding? And would having it give that friendship a better chance? LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET JEWEL HOHMAN Jewel has nearly 6,000 hours of coaching focused on high-functioning social anxiety and friendship. She has been featured at conferences across the country, as well as on ABC 13, POPSUGAR, and guested on over 100 podcasts. Jewel is the Director of Programming for PS Society, a nonprofit dedicated to combating loneliness for women. Jewel is in her final year of earning her master’s in social work- with the goal of opening the first Social Prescribing Clinic in the Detroit area. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #216 - Are You Expecting Too Much From One Friend? (Sally Vardaman) | 19 oct. 2026 | 00:34:02 | |
When Your Friendship Needs Don't Match Are you expecting too much from a friend, or are you accepting too little? It's a question that comes up again and again in the letters I receive from listeners of Dear Nina. Sometimes a friendship truly is one-sided. But sometimes two people care deeply about each other and simply have different needs from a friendship. I'm bringing back a conversation from episode 80 with Minneapolis-based writer Sally Vardaman, author of Shoot the Arrows. Sally originally reached out after hearing an episode with my mom (episode 72) in which we discussed a friendship that ended, in part, because my mom felt the other person was "too needy." Sally shared a remarkably honest story about being the friend who wanted more. For years, she felt disappointed that one of her closest friends couldn't meet certain emotional needs, even though they had a loving friendship. Eventually, they talked about the mismatch and found a way to move forward without expecting either person to change. Sally and I discussed:
Can we accept that a friend isn't able to give us everything we're looking for without deciding they're a bad friend? And how do we know when we need to adjust our expectations versus reconsider the friendship itself? LINKS MENTIONED:
-Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, a great assessment on attachment issues with lots of practical suggestions for all attachment types. -Platonic by Marisa Franco, a look at attachment specifically in friendships (pretty sure I heard about this one through Dear Nina 🙂 -How to Be Your Own Best Friend by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz (first published in 1971, thank you Nora Ephron!) -Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melodie Beattie (first published in 1986) -Lying by Sam Harris MEET SALLY VARDAMAN Sally Vardaman is a writer who believes in the power of stories to make us think, question our assumptions, and connect with each other despite our differences. She is the author of Shoot the Arrows, a book of essays to her three children on why honesty and self-reflection are the keys to a healthy and meaningful life. You can find more about her work at sallyvardaman.com. As well as on Facebook, Instagram, and Goodreads.
!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #215 - When Your Child Gets Dropped From a Friend Group | 12 oct. 2026 | 00:41:58 | |
How to help your child through exclusion without letting your own panic take over I've been a parent on both sides of friendship exclusion. I've had kids who were left out, and I've had other parents upset with me. And I know how hard it can be to watch your child struggle socially without letting your own emotions take over. Sometimes our kids move on from a friendship disappointment long before we do! My guest Andrea, founder of Strong Mom Strong Girl, knows what it's like when a child is deliberately pushed out of an established friend group. She now helps other mothers navigate these painful situations. Andrea and I make an important distinction between not being invited to everything (a normal part of life!) and being purposely dropped from a group. We also discuss why your child's friendship drama is not yours to "fix" in the way you might assume, even when it's affecting your own friendships, your sleep, and the atmosphere in your home. Andrea reminds parents: "What you can do is show up as the best version of yourself so that your child can borrow your peace rather than pick up on your panic." WE DISCUSS:
Andrea is sharing only her first name, and this episode is audio-only, to protect her family's privacy. LINKS MENTIONED:
LEARN MORE ABOUT STRONG MOM STRONG GIRL Andrea is the founder of Strong Mom Strong Girl, where she helps moms support their daughters through friendship drama, exclusion, and mean-girl behavior with more calm, confidence, and clarity. Everything she shares is based on actual lived experience and years of both research and trial-and-error. Follow her on Instagram, where you can find resources, actionable advice, community and more. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #214 - Are We Giving Up on Our Friends Too Quickly? (Melissa Radke) | 05 oct. 2026 | 00:46:00 | |
Are we too quick to decide a friendship isn’t working? That’s the question running through this conversation with bestselling author and podcaster Melissa Radke. Melissa and I have both ended important friendships in ways we later regretted, and we spoke about what we wished we had done differently before deciding it was time to walk away. To quote Melissa, "Because a friendship can be hard without being wrong." We got into the things that can make people want to run from a friendship: jealousy, uneven effort, changing life circumstances, fear of rejection, and seeing a close friend become close with someone else. Are those signs that a friendship is ending, or are they just normal parts of having long-term relationships with imperfect people? We also talked about the friendship “tests” we give without telling the other person they’re being tested. Maybe you stop reaching out to see whether your friend will finally initiate. Maybe you say nothing about your birthday because you want to see if they remember. Instead of asking for what we need, we collect evidence. Melissa and I discussed what can happen when we give our friends a little more room, say what’s actually bothering us, and let them respond before we decide we already know how they feel. There are certainly friendships that need to end. But before we decide we’re done, it may be worth asking: Is this friendship truly wrong for me—or are we just going through something hard? LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET MELISSA RADKE: Melissa Radke is a bestselling author, speaker, and media personality known for blending sharp humor with heartfelt honesty and Southern charm. She first gained national attention through her viral storytelling and memoir, Eat Cake. Be Brave., and is the author of Chicken-Fried Women: Friendship, Kinship, and the Women Who Made Us This Way, which celebrates the relationships that shape who we become. Through her writing, speaking, and podcasts, Chicken-Fried Women and The Radke Show, Melissa explores faith, friendship, women’s empowerment, and the beautifully imperfect parts of everyday life, connecting with audiences through her relatable stories, wit, and authenticity. Website | Instagram | Books | Podcast ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #213 - Friendship "Flings," Uneven Effort, and Being Stuck in the Middle (Dr. Miriam Kirmayer) | 28 sept. 2026 | 00:52:12 | |
Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is back on Dear Nina, and this time we did something different: we each brought friendship questions the other person had not seen in advance. No prep. No polished answers. Just two people who think about friendship constantly digging into the kinds of questions that rarely have a clean yes-or-no answer. Dr. Miriam is a clinical psychologist and a well-known friendship researcher. She also now hosts the friendship podcast Two Peas on a Pod. WE GET INTO:
And finally, we turn the questions on ourselves: Does talking about friendship professionally make us self-conscious about our own friendships? LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET DR. MIRIAM KIRMAYER: Dr. Miriam Kirmayer is a clinical psychologist, leading friendship expert, and one of the most influential speakers on human connection and social support. See more about Dr. Miriam's courses, keynotes, articles and more at www.miriamkirmayer.com. Listen to the podcast: Two Peas on a Pod. Find Dr. Miriam on Instagram on @miriamkirmayer. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #212 - What Your Behavior May Be Saying to Your Friends (Laura Tremaine) | 22 sept. 2026 | 00:36:01 | |
When good intentions aren’t enough in a friendship What happens when you genuinely care about friends, but your behavior isn’t showing it? That’s the question at the center of my conversation with writer and podcaster Laura Tremaine, author of The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs and Share Your Stuff: I'll Go First. I’m bringing this episode back because Laura’s honesty about her own friendship missteps feels just as useful now as it did when we first recorded it. Laura realized that she had been relying on the history, chemistry, and closeness she felt with certain friends without doing enough to maintain those relationships as work, family, and other responsibilities increased. She wasn’t always texting back. She wasn’t checking in. And eventually, several friends cared enough about the friendships to tell her that it hurt. One of Laura’s biggest realizations was that there was a disconnect between what was in her heart and what her actions were communicating. She deeply valued these friends, but they couldn’t know that if she wasn’t showing it. So Laura did something surprisingly practical: she started putting friendship on her actual to-do list. WE DISCUSSED:
I especially love Laura’s emphasis on noticing—noticing what makes a particular friend feel cared for, noticing the patterns in our own behavior, and noticing when our intentions and our actions aren’t lining up. And no, this episode isn’t an argument that you have to answer every text immediately or be endlessly available. It’s about something much more basic: If you want the friendship, are you behaving like you want the friendship?
LINKS MENTIONED: Laura's books: The Life Council: 10 Friends Every Woman Needs and Share Your Stuff: I'll Go First. MEET LAURA TREMAINE Laura Tremaine is a writer and podcaster based in Los Angeles. She’s the author of two books about connection and friendship, is the co-host of the SLOW READ podcast, and she writes and hosts regular conversations on her Secret Stuff substack. You can usually find her on Instagram @Laura.Tremaine. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #211 - You Don’t Have to Be Fully Secure to Have Good Friendships (Dr. Marisa G. Franco) | 14 sept. 2026 | 00:36:01 | |
Dr. Marisa G. Franco is back on Dear Nina! This time we spoke about her new book, Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, and how our sense of self-worth affects the friendships we build, keep, and sometimes struggle to trust. Marisa’s first book, Platonic, focused on how we create and maintain strong friendships. Worth goes a step further inward: What happens when the way we see ourselves makes it harder to believe that other people genuinely like us, value us, or want to be close to us? One of my favorite ideas from our conversation is Marisa’s argument that the goal isn’t to become perfectly secure. It’s to become secure-ish—aware of the anxious, avoidant, insecure parts of ourselves without pretending they’ve disappeared. We discussed:
Marisa shares the story of Esme, who carried one devastating friendship moment from middle school into adulthood and became afraid to initiate with people she genuinely wanted to know. We expand on Esme's story to talk about reciprocity, rejection, memory, and the possibility of changing the meaning we’ve attached to experiences from years ago. I also share one of my own “open memories” from college and what came up for me while working through one of Marisa’s exercises in the book. And we get into something I talk about often on this show: sometimes a friend’s lack of initiation really does mean something—and sometimes it doesn’t. Self-worth, fear of rejection, disorganization, and all kinds of other factors can sit underneath behavior we’re very quick to take personally. LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET DR. MARISA G FRANCO An enlightening psychologist, international speaker, and New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Marisa G. Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends and Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging at corporations, government agencies, non-profits, and universities. For tips on friendship, you can follow her on Instagram (DrMarisaGFranco), or go to her website, www.DrMarisaGFranco.com, where you can take a quiz to assess your strengths and weaknesses as a friend & reach out for speaking engagements. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #210 - AI, Friendship, and the Danger of Outsourcing Connection (Sarah Baldeo) | 06 sept. 2026 | 00:40:50 | |
Why human connection requires friction, empathy, and accountability. I have real concerns about AI, and one of my biggest is what happens when we start treating it like a person—especially a friend. My guest, Sarah Baldeo, is a neuroscientist and the author of 100 Ways to Future Proof Your Brain in the Age of AI. She has spent more than 20 years working at the intersection of neuroscience and artificial intelligence, so I wanted to bring some of my biggest worries about AI and human connection directly to her and I appreciated her treating my concerns with seriousness and respect. My biggest takeaway remains the same: we need to be very careful not to confuse something that can imitate human connection with the real thing. We discussed:
MEET SARAH BALDEO: Sarah Baldeo, PhD (c), Executive MBA, is a bestselling author, neuroscientist, AI futurist, TED speaker, and CEO of ID Quotient Advisory, whose work explores how artificial intelligence is reshaping human cognition, executive judgment, and leadership decision making and what that means for how we connect, trust, and relate to one another; she is also the world’s foremost doctoral researcher on AI and cognition. She is the author of 100 Ways to Future-Proof Your Brain in the Age of AI, and has been featured on CBC News, CTV, NBC, SiriusXM, and Yahoo Finance. A global keynote speaker with more than 1,300 appearances across North America and Europe, Sarah advises organizations on the future of human intelligence in the age of AI. Connect with her on Instagram and LinkedIn. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #209 - Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Kids and Adults (Caroline Maguire) | 30 août 2026 | 00:48:21 | |
I’ve spoken before on Dear Nina about neurodiversity and friendship with several fantastic guests, but I wanted to have a conversation that could speak both to parents raising neurodivergent kids and to neurodivergent adults navigating friendship themselves. Caroline Maguire is an internationally recognized expert in social-emotional learning, ADHD, coaching, and relationship development. She’s the author of Why Will No One Play With Me? and most recently, Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults. We talked about encouraging friendship without forcing it, finding environments where connection comes more naturally, handling rejection, understanding the difference between an acquaintance and a friend, and taking those sometimes-awkward next steps that help a friendship grow. What I especially loved about Caroline’s approach is that friendship skills aren’t about becoming someone else. They’re about understanding yourself, building confidence, and finding the people who appreciate you as you are. LINKS & RESOURCES:
MEET CAROLINE MAGUIRE: Caroline Maguire, M.Ed., ACCG, PCC is an internationally recognized expert in social-emotional learning, ADHD coaching, and relationship development. She is the author of the award-winning book, Why Will No One Play with Me? and FRIENDSHIP SKILLS FOR NEURODIVERGENT ADULTS (Balance Books), and hosts The ADHD Social Playbook podcast. An educator, coach, and sought-after speaker, Caroline developed a comprehensive Social Emotional Learning (SEL) training methodology that equips parents, clinicians, and educators with practical tools to build self-awareness, emotional regulation, social understanding, and meaningful relationships. As a neurodivergent person with ADHD, dyslexia, and learning disabilities, she brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #208 - Making Friends at Any Age Takes a Little Risk (Harlan Cohen) | 23 août 2026 | 00:40:27 | |
Harlan Cohen on friendship, social courage, and finding places where you belong. Finding friendship—at any stage of life—requires the risk of hearing “no.” And that “no” rarely comes directly. That’s one of the ideas I dig into with Harlan Cohen, a New York Times bestselling author and founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. So much of what Harlan teaches incoming college students and their parents applies just as much in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond. This episode was so popular last year that I was waiting for the right time to play it again. The week I'm dropping off child #2 at college is the right time for sure! If you’re starting over socially, hoping to expand your circle, or just tired of feeling bruised by the ups and downs of friendship, this one’s for you. We get into:
LINKS & RESOURCES:
MEET HARLAN COHEN: Harlan is the New York Times bestselling author of The Naked Roommate: And 107 Other Issues You Might Run Into In College and six other titles (over 1 million copies in print). His social media accounts have over 1.5 million followers and he hosts the popular podcast, The Harlan Cohen Podcast. He is the founder of Best First Year, a college success coaching program for students and parents. Harlan lives in Chicago, Illinois with his wife and three children. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #207 - The Teen Friendship Habits We Bring Into Adulthood (Sheri Gazitt) | 16 août 2026 | 00:29:40 | |
Friend groups, exclusion, conflict, and the patterns we don’t always outgrow Some friendship habits start much earlier than we realize. The way we react to being left out, how much security we get from being part of a group, whether we avoid conflict, and even how willing we are to be vulnerable with friends can all have roots in our teen years. My guest Sheri Gazitt has spent more than 30 years working with teen girls and their parents. She’s the founder of Teen Wise and the author of Girl Drama Decoded: Empower Your Daughter Through The Ups & Downs of Girl Drama & Friendships. What struck me throughout our conversation is how easily the friendship issues she sees with teenagers translate to adult friendship. We spoke about the difference between being deliberately excluded and simply not being invited, why being part of a friend group isn’t always the same thing as having close friendships, and what Sheri calls creating “parallel friendships” instead of putting all of our social energy into one group. We also got very practical about conflict. Sheri shared a four-step approach to having a difficult conversation with a friend, including one step I especially appreciated: considering whether there’s any part of the situation you need to own yourself. And we talk about what can happen after friendship disappointments pile up. Sometimes the way we protect ourselves is by keeping future friendships at a safe, superficial distance without even realizing we’re doing it. This episode is useful whether you’re watching your own teenager navigate friendship or recognizing some very familiar patterns in your adult life. The good news is that these are skills—and we can keep getting better at them. MEET SHERI GAZITT Sheri Gazitt is an international friendship expert, speaker, and founder of Teen Wise. With over 30 years of experience and a background in counseling psychology, she’s helped thousands of girls navigate friendship struggles, social anxiety, and the emotional ups and downs of growing up. She’s the author of Girl Drama Decoded and supports moms through her Mom Wise Collective while also working directly with teen girls through private coaching. Coach Sheri is known for making complex social dynamics feel understandable and giving families practical ways to build confidence, connection, and healthier friendships. Find Sheri on Instagram @BeTeenWise and on Facebook. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #206 - How Friendships Change When You Stop Drinking (Suzanne Warye) | 09 août 2026 | 00:33:41 | |
Alcohol is so woven into social life that choosing not to drink can change how you spend time with friends, which invitations come your way, and what you begin to notice about the way you connect. My guest, Suzanne Warye is the author of The Sober Shift: An Empowering Exploration of Sobriety, Parenting, and the Joys of Alcohol-Free Living and the host of the popular podcast The Sober Mom Life. Suzanne's decision to stop drinking was not a “rock bottom” story. She could drink moderately, but she hated how much mental energy alcohol took up in her life as well as the after effects. Once Suzanne stopped drinking, she had to figure out what friendship and socializing looked like without it. In the episode Suzanne and I spoke honestly about the friendships that remained strong, the friendships that faded, and the hurt of being left off an invitation because someone assumes a sober friend would not want to come. We also discussed learning to sit through the first awkward minutes of a gathering without numbing your anxiety and why Suzanne’s standards for connection changed once alcohol was no longer the main event. We briefly chatted about THC drinks and gummies, phone use as another form of escape, and motherhood and “mommy wine culture.” And we talked about what happens when you start wanting your time with friends to feel more present and less "numb."
Past episodes related to this one: #17. Friendship and Sobriety: Jen Veralle #130: The Sober Curious Lifestyle and Your Friendships: Hallie Sawyer
Meet Suzanne: Suzanne Warye is a sobriety influencer and the host of the popular podcast The Sober Mom Life. Residing on the North Shore of Chicago with her husband and three kids, Suzanne spends most of her time reheating her coffee and rocking her “whole heart, half ass” parenting philosophy. Her new book THE SOBER SHIFT: A Modern-Day Guide to Living an Abundant Sober Life is currently available in hardcover, audio and e-book and the paperback will be available on Sept 29, 2026. To connect follow her on Instagram @suzannewarye or visit www.thesobermomlife.com !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #205 - Get Offline and See Your Friends | 02 août 2026 | 00:10:08 | |
I’m fresh off the "Dear Nina Live" event in Minneapolis to celebrate five years of the podcast. And after such a big week, I was ready to step away from my computer for a bit. So I said yes to mahjong (twice!), tennis, a walk, and time with friends. It was exactly the reset I was looking for, even though I'm WAY BEHIND on work now. This short episode is a reminder to get out from behind the texts, emails, memes, and endless to-do list and spend some time with your friends in person. Say yes when you can, or make the plan yourself, and remember that even a walk or a cup of coffee counts. It can be that simple--short and sweet. And to everyone who came to the event in Minnesota--THANK YOU! LINKS MENTIONED:
!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #204 - "Go where the heat is”: My Husband on Five Years of Friendship Advice | 26 juil. 2026 | 00:28:59 | |
To mark five years of making this podcast, I invited the person who has heard every episode, encouraged every new idea, and occasionally reminded me to follow my own friendship advice. Welcome to my husband, Bryan! Bryan hasn't been on Dear Nina since the first year! I brought him back to talk about what has surprised him after five years of listening to conversations about every aspect of friendship. He shared the theme he's been noticing beneath the friendship dilemmas: two people do not want the same type of friendship. We also talk about one of the messages Bryan has heard me repeat the most: If you want to see a friend, reach out. Don’t sit back, keep score, or “match their energy.” That doesn’t mean giving everyone the same amount of time or continuing to chase people who never respond. Bryan puts it another way: Go where the heat is. Pay attention to the people who are glad to hear from you and who return your efforts in their own way. We discuss:
A special thank-you to my brother-in-law, Dave Dluger, who helped me produce and edit the earliest Dear Nina episodes and convinced me I could learn how to make a podcast. And thank you to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs, who has become an essential part of nearly every podcast decision, guest conversation, and episode idea. Listeners: Thank you for rooting for this show, sharing episodes with friends, sending your questions, and talking with me about friendship for so many years. This podcast would not be here without you!
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #203 - College Rankings Don't Predict Where You'll Belong (Alexis White) | 19 juil. 2026 | 00:46:06 | |
Admissions counselor, Alexis White, on why 'fit over flex' should guide the college search The college search puts a lot of pressure on families to find the “best” school. But the highest-ranked school (the hyper-focus for many) is not necessarily the place where a particular student will be happiest, most successful, or most likely to find their people. My guest this week is Alexis White, an internationally recognized college admissions counselor, founder of A-List Tutoring Services and alexiscollegexpert.com, and host of the podcast Admit It with Alexis White. I love following Alexis online because she is candid, practical, and willing to say what many families need to hear: Choosing a college should be about “fit over flex.” Alexis walks me through the five factors she considers when helping a student build a college list: size, location, academic offerings, philosophy, and vibe. We talk about why those factors matter not only academically, but also for making friends, building community, and feeling at home. We also get into Greek life, competitive clubs, audition-based activities, and the reality that getting into a college does not guarantee getting into every community within it. What happens when a student expects to join a sorority, fraternity, business club, theater group, or sports team, but it does not work out? Alexis explains why students need more than one possible path to friendship and belonging. Alexis also offers an important reminder for parents: Grades and scores are only part of the picture. A student’s resilience, independence, willingness to try new things, and ability to handle discomfort may tell us just as much about where they will thrive. And because social media makes everyone else’s freshman year look effortless, we talk honestly about how awkward and difficult that first year can be, even at the “right” school. This episode will help families look beyond acceptance rates, rankings and prestige during the college search process!
LINKS:
Meet Alexis White: Alexis White is a Los Angeles–based college admissions consultant and the founder of A-List Admissions and Tutoring and Alexiscollegexpert.com. Alexis has spent more than two decades guiding students and families through college selection, applications, essays, testing, and the many decisions that come with the admissions process. She has appeared as a college admissions expert on CBS, ABC News and elsewhere. Alexis is also the host of the podcast Admit It! with Alexis White and she gives admissions advice on social media to many thousands of followers on Instagram @collegexpert and TikTok @collegexpert. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #202 - When Friends Make Plans Without You (Danielle Bayard Jackson) | 12 juil. 2026 | 00:41:25 | |
Group dynamics, feeling left out, and not waiting around for invitations We have all felt that sting of not being invited. You see the pictures, hear about the dinner, find out there's a group chat, there was a weekend away—and you were not included. It can hurt, even when we know intellectually that every gathering cannot include every person. And even though we do not personally want 15 people at every thing we do. This episode is a replay of a conversation I had with friendship educator Danielle Bayard Jackson, author of Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women’s Relationships and host of the Friend Forward podcast. Danielle has such a clear, honest way of talking about the harder parts of female friendship, and this topic needed her voice. Danielle and I spoke about why not being invited can feel so personal, why it sometimes has nothing to do with us, and why some gatherings are built around a specific purpose, convenience, shared history, or a smaller dynamic. We also get into the harder question: are there times when our own patterns make people less likely to include us? Maybe we often say no, cancel, talk about how busy we are, dominate the conversation, make people feel judged, stay glued to our phones, bring too much conflict into group settings, or make planning harder than it needs to be. This is not about blaming people for being left out. It's about giving ourselves choices beyond spiraling, assuming the worst, or waiting around to be chosen. In this episode, we discuss:
I'm SO grateful to Danielle for tackling this topic with me. It's a hard one—and she was exactly the right guest for it. Meet Danielle Bayard Jackson Danielle Bayard Jackson is a friendship educator, speaker, and author of Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women’s Relationships. She is the host of the Friend Forward podcast, the founder of Tell Public Relations, and the director of the Women’s Relational Health Institute, where she conducts research and creates training to support stronger female relationships. Find links for working with Danielle and all of her social media links at betterfemalefriendships.com. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #201 - A Softer Way to Think About Friendships That Faded (Rebecca Kotok) | 05 juil. 2026 | 00:30:18 | |
How age, loss, and experience can change the way we see friendships from the past This week I’m joined by one of my very best friends, Rebecca Kotok, a public school counselor in Maryland and one of the most popular guests in the history of Dear Nina. Rebecca was first on the show in episode 34, where we talked about our friendship breakup in our 20s and our reconciliation. This time, we’re talking about a different kind of friendship shift: the way approaching 50, loss, and life experiences can soften how we think about friendships that faded, old hurts, and the stories we’ve been carrying for years. This episode is not about ignoring bad behavior or letting every person back into your life. But Rebecca and I talk about the peace that can come from no longer needing to prosecute every old friendship case in your mind over and over again until the end of time. We talked about:• Why friendship breakups and faded friendships can carry so much shame • How midlife can change the way we understand old friendship disappointments • Why some friendships fade without anyone being "the villain" • The difference between being right and being at peace • How grief and life experience can make us more generous toward other people • Why you don’t have to reconnect with someone to think about them more positively • How gratitude, reflection, and therapy can help if a softer, more positive mindset does not come naturally One of my favorite ideas from Rebecca was that she now attributes perceived slights much less to someone’s character and much more to what that person may have been carrying. That feels like a wiser and "softer" way to move through the world. Previous episodes mentioned:
!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| Bonus - An Episode Honoring Jill Smokler: Friendship, Cancer, and Community | 28 juin 2026 | 00:38:35 | |
My friend, Jill Smokler, touched so many lives. If you loved Jill, I hope hearing her voice is a comfort. If you didn’t know her, I hope this episode gives you a glimpse of why countless longtime followers, fans, and friends felt deeply connected to her candor and warmth. This bonus episode of Dear Nina is a replay of a conversation Jill asked me to record with her in the summer of 2024, soon after she was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer. Jill died on June 22, 2026, and I’m sharing this conversation again around what would have been her 49th birthday. Jill was a certain kind of famous—not movie-star famous, but very known in a way that mattered. Her work and her support of so many writers and readers helped women feel less alone starting with her groundbreaking blog, Scary Mommy. She continued in that supportive role after she sold Scary Mommy and publicly figured out her next move, which included her podcast and online magazine, She's Got Issues, which gave an honest voice to midlife. I knew Jill first from Washington University in St. Louis, where we met as freshmen, but our friendship and professional relationship grew much more in adulthood. We collaborated in our work over the years, and I credit Jill with helping me understand what writing on the internet could be. Jill was proud of this conversation we had two years ago. You will hear her humor, her honesty, and her way of making room for the awful and the absurd at the same time. Jill spoke frankly about her diagnosis and what it felt like to receive an outpouring of love from people who knew her in every era of her life: childhood, college, parenting, work, and of course from her massive online community. We also discussed what friendship looks like in a crisis: what helped, what didn’t, and what she wished people understood. Jill was especially clear about the value of brief, consistent check-ins with no expectation of a reply and the practical relief of meals and DoorDash gift cards. Jill also reflected on her children, her best friend, the friendships she built over a lifetime, and the future she felt robbed of getting to enjoy. It's a heartbreaking, funny, blunt, generous, and "pure Jill" episode. Thank you for listening, and for helping me honor Jill. Links mentioned:
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #200 - Why Talking to Strangers is Good for Your Friendships (Dr. Gillian Sandstrom) | 21 juin 2026 | 00:41:57 | |
How small talk, "loose ties," and everyday conversations help us feel more connected For episode #200 of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m joined by Dr. Gillian Sandstrom, an associate professor in the Psychology of Kindness at the University of Sussex and author of Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How Small Talk Can Add Up to a Big Life. I came into this conversation a little wary. Do I really want to talk to more strangers? On airplanes? At Trader Joe’s? When I’m trying to get through my errands and keep moving? But Gillian’s research—and her very practical way of talking about it—made a strong case for why these small, low-stakes interactions matter. This episode is not about forcing every stranger into a future friendship. It’s about remembering that every friend was once a stranger, and that talking to people we don’t know gives us practice with the exact skills good friendships require: handling uncertainty, risking rejection, asking better questions, listening, ending conversations kindly, and staying open to other people. Gillian also explains why small talk is not as pointless as it can seem, why people usually like us more than we think they do, and why even brief moments of connection can change the way we move through the world. WE TALKED ABOUT: • Why talking to strangers is connected to making and keeping friends • The “liking gap” and why we often underestimate how much people enjoyed talking to us • How strangers can be lower-stakes practice for friendship skills • Why small talk can feel awkward, boring, or inefficient—and why it still matters • Gillian’s “QUICK” method for starting conversations: questions, in common, and kindness • How to politely end a conversation without pretending you need to take a call • The difference between strangers, acquaintances, weak ties, loose ties, and “fringe-ships” • Why we sometimes disclose more easily to strangers than to close friends • The awkwardness of reaching out to an old friend who now feels like a stranger • Why talking to strangers can make the world feel safer, warmer, and more human
One idea from Gillian I especially loved: not every interaction has to be transformative to be worthwhile. Like movies, not every conversation will be "amazing." Some will be forgettable and will be average, but over time, these small moments add up to something meaningful. In a world that often feels increasingly impersonal and distracted, I found that idea pretty convincing. Meet Dr. Gillian Sandstrom: Gillian Sandstrom is an associate professor in the psychology of kindness at the University of Sussex and author of Once Upon a Stranger: The Science of How 'Small' Talk Can Add Up To a Big Life. Her research has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Atlantic, and has been covered by other outlets around the world. She has been interviewed for major podcasts and radio shows, including Hidden Brain, NPR's Life Kit, and Claudia Hammond's All in the Mind. She lives in Brighton, England. Find her on LinkedIn and Instagram. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #199 - Traveling with Friends: Lessons From a Girls-Trip Regular (Rebekah Jacobs) | 14 juin 2026 | 00:35:11 | |
How to make girls trips, weekend getaways, and friendship travel actually happen This week, I’m joined by one of my favorite people to talk to about friendship on and off the microphone: my assistant producer and friend, Rebekah Jacobs! We're discussing something she does far more often than I do—traveling with friends. Rebekah is a frequent girls-trip traveler. She’s the friend who is always hopping on a plane, meeting friends for a weekend away, or squeezing in a 24-hour getaway. Meanwhile, I realized while preparing for this episode that I’ve traveled with friends far less often than most people might assume, especially for someone who talks about friendship for a living. Together, we unpack why friendship travel can feel so difficult to pull off, especially during busy seasons of life. We talk about kids, schedules, money, logistics, guilt, and the challenge of finding a date that works for everyone. But we also talk about why it’s worth the effort. In this episode, we discuss:
One takeaway I especially loved Rebekah said something during our conversation that I haven’t stopped thinking about: the worth-it bar is lower than you think. In other words, stop waiting for the perfect destination, the perfect budget, the perfect schedule, or the perfect group. If you can make one night work, do it. If all you can manage is 24 hours, take the 24 hours.
As always, thank you for listening. And if this episode inspires you to finally book that trip you've been talking about for years, I'd love to hear about it. Safe travels! ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #198 - Making Friends Through Work: Collaboration Over Competition (Kim Oster-Holstein and Mara Smith) | 07 juin 2026 | 00:26:40 | |
Two entrepreneurs on friendship, support, and staying open to new connections. When we talk on Dear Nina about making friends as adults, I often focus on hobbies, neighborhoods, volunteer opportunities, or the activities we do outside of work. But work is one of the most common ways adults meet new people, and it's something I probably don't talk about enough. This week, I'm joined by Mara Smith, founder of Inspiro Tequila, and Kim Oster-Holstein, co-founder of Twisted Alchemy. Both women launched successful beverage companies as second (or third!) careers, and both found themselves navigating the challenges of entrepreneurship at the same time. What I love about their story is that they easily could have stayed acquaintances. Instead, they built a genuine friendship based on shared values, mutual support, and a belief that collaboration creates more opportunities than competition. In our conversation, we discuss how they met through industry events, why entrepreneurship can be surprisingly lonely, and how staying open to new friendships at all points in life can enrich both your professional and personal worlds. Whether you're a founder, work in a traditional office, or are simply looking for new ways to connect with people, this episode is a reminder that meaningful friendships can begin in unexpected places.
LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET KIM & MARA: Kim Oster-Holstein is a respected leader in the food and beverage industry with over 29 years of experience driving innovation and growth. As Co-Founder and President of Twisted Alchemy, she has transformed the hospitality and home mixology markets with award-winning, 100% Whole30 Approved, cold-pressed juices distributed nationwide. Under her leadership, the company partners with prestigious brands such as Ritz-Carlton, Disney, Marriott, and Nobu, serving more than 10,000 hospitality accounts and major grocery retailers such as Whole Foods, Sprouts Farmers Markets and Albertsons. Previously, she founded and led Kim & Scott’s Gourmet Pretzels to multimillion-dollar success before its acquisition by J&J Snack Foods Corp. in 2012. A TEDx speaker, award-winning entrepreneur, and Northwestern University alumna, Kim is widely recognized for her visionary leadership, industry influence, and commitment to developing future leaders. Mara Smith, the founder of Inspiro Tequila, is a former attorney, corporate strategist and stay-at-home mom. Mara practiced law at a large Chicago law firm before joining the corporate strategy team at a Fortune 500 Company. After her twins were born prematurely, Mara made the difficult decision to leave her corporate career to stay home. She never stopped thinking about what was next. Mara always envisioned running her own company and in 2020 she set out on her journey to create a new tequila brand. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #197 - Anxious Attachment in Friendships: Why You Keep Wondering Where You Stand (Rebecca Stambridge) | 31 mai 2026 | 00:39:48 | |
Why Reassurance-Seeking, Overthinking, and Fear of Rejection Can Strain Even Good Friendships Most of us have moments when we wonder where we stand with a friend. That's part of caring about people. But for some, those worries become a constant rumination in the background of their friendships. You might find yourself replaying conversations, looking for signs that something is wrong, or repeatedly seeking reassurance that the friendship is still okay. That's where a discussion about anxious attachment can be helpful. Attachment styles have become a popular topic online, but social media often reduces a complex subject to quick labels and catchy phrases. In this episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, we're taking a deeper look at what anxious attachment actually looks like in friendships. When is concern about a friendship justified? When is anxiety filling in the blanks? And how can you tell the difference? I'm joined by psychotherapist and mindfulness teacher Rebecca Stambridge, known online as The Friendship Therapist, to discuss anxious attachment style in friendships. While attachment styles are often discussed in romantic relationships, Rebecca explains why they show up in our platonic connections. We explore what anxious attachment style looks like in real life, why some friendships feel especially triggering, and how learning self-compassion can help you stop looking to friends to soothe every uncomfortable feeling.
WE DISCUSSED:
MEET REBECCA STAMBRIDGE: Rebecca Stambridge, known as The Friendship Therapist, is a psychotherapist and mindfulness teacher who helps people overcome low self-worth and anxious attachment so they can feel secure and at ease in their platonic relationships. Find Rebecca on Instagram: @the.friendshiptherapist. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #196 - Second Homes and Friendship: Hosting, FOMO, and Unspoken Expectations (Stephanie Hansen) | 24 mai 2026 | 00:35:56 | |
In this episode of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m talking about the social complications of having a second home. Whether it’s a lakeside cabin, a Florida condo, or simply living somewhere everyone wants to visit, these situations bring up all kinds of friendship questions around hosting, invitations, reciprocity, FOMO, boundaries, and expectations. My guest is the incredible Stephanie Hansen: cookbook author, novelist, broadcaster, podcaster, and expert on Minnesota cabin culture. Stephanie loves her family cabin in Ely, Minnesota, and she joined me for a candid conversation about what happens when your “happy place” also becomes a source of complicated social dynamics. This episode is funny, honest, surprisingly emotional at times, and full of the kinds of nuanced friendship situations that don’t have perfect answers. LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET STEPHANIE HANSEN Stephanie Hansen is the co-host of the “The Weekly Dish” radio show and podcast on Hubbard Broadcastings MyTalk107.1 radio with Minneapolis St Paul Magazines food editor, Stephanie March. The show is going on its 18th year and is also a podcast. In 2023 and 2025 Stephanie won a regional Emmy award for hosting the TV show, "Taste Buds With Stephanie" that airs Saturday mornings at 8:30 am on Fox 9 and is currently in syndication at 89 TV stations throughout the United States. Season 4 starts in Fall of 2026. You can also catch Stephanie cooking and sharing recipes weekly on The Jason Show on KMSP Fox 9 in the Twin Cities. Stephanie also has a podcast called, “Dishing with Stephanie’s Dish” where she talks with other food writers, cookbook authors, and fans of food that she releases on her Substack newsletter with recipes each week from her blog StephaniesDish.com Stephanie loves to travel and has sailed throughout the Caribbean, Italy and Croatia. She loves her “Van Life” in her Winnebago Paseo and is a part-time resident of Ely on Burntside Lake in the Summer where she wrote and photographed the True North Cabin Cookbook Vol 1 and True North Cabin Cookbook Vol 2. And check out Stephanie's new novel, The Moon Tavern: A Culinary Love Story (With Recipes), co-written with her husband, Kurt Johnson. Find her on Instagram @stephaniesdishon Instagram @stephaniesdish ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| Bonus: Are Your Friendships Surviving the Digital Age? Likes, Memes & What Really Matters (Nina on The Visibility Standard with Jazzmyn Proctor) | 18 mai 2026 | 00:42:26 | |
I’m sharing a bonus episode from my appearance on The Visibility Standard with Jazzmyn Proctor. We talked about modern friendship and all the strange new tensions that come with living so much of our lives online. From expecting friends to endlessly support our businesses on social media (and the resentment when they watch but don't 'like'), to replacing real connection with memes and endless scrolling, this conversation digs into the gray areas of adult friendship right now. We also talked about reciprocity, forgiveness, making actual plans with friends, and why maintaining friendships requires more intentionality than ever. Jazzmyn brought such thoughtful questions to this discussion, brought such thoughtful questions to this discussion, and I was excited to answer for a change. In this episode, we discuss:
Links mentioned:
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #195 - Money Landmines with Friends: Group Trips, Weddings, and Splitting Checks (Heather Boneparth) | 10 mai 2026 | 00:37:59 | |
Money can shape adult friendships in ways we don’t always talk about openly. Who pays for dinner? Who can afford the group trip? Do you need to attend the wedding AND the bachelorette party and wedding shower? What happens when your kids start noticing how other families spend money? And how do you handle it when your own financial situation changes before your friendships catch up? This week on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m joined by Heather Boneparth, financial professional, former lawyer, and co-author of Money Together. Heather works with individuals, couples, and families around the emotional side of money—and she has strong opinions in the best possible way. We get into the layered and emotional realities of friendship and finances, including:
One thing I appreciated about Heather is that she doesn’t reduce every issue to “just communicate better.” She acknowledges that these conversations are uncomfortable, emotional, and tied to much bigger beliefs about money, fairness, identity, and belonging. And throughout the episode, we come back to one important reminder: you almost never know the full financial story of another person’s life. LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET HEATHER BONEPARTH Heather Boneparth is the director of business and legal affairs for Bone Fide Wealth in New York City. A former corporate lawyer, she's now a rising voice at the intersection of money, relationships, and parenting. She is the co-author of Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team, which she co-wrote with her husband. The couple helps 15,000 subscribers talk about money each week through their newsletter, The Joint Account. You can find her perpetually online: @averagejoelle. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #194 - Low-Key, Creative Ways to Spend Time with Friends (Ashlee Gadd and Katie Blackburn) | 03 mai 2026 | 00:28:36 | |
This episode is a little different—and very fun—because it’s packed with specific, creative ways to spend time with friends that go beyond the usual walk, coffee, or dinner at a restaurant. I’m joined by Ashlee Gadd and Katie Blackburn of the Coffee + Crumbs community and authors of the new book, You're In Good Company: The Gift of Friendship, Motherhood, and Showing Up. Ashlee and Katie came ready with ideas you can steal: low-pressure, fun ways to gather with friends. These are not big, complicated events. But they ARE creative! What I love about this conversation is that it’s both practical and honest. Yes, you’ll walk away with ideas you can use, but we also get into what makes these gatherings work in the first place—shared effort, showing up, and being thoughtful about the kind of connection you’re trying to create. We also get into a harder element of getting together with friends, which is knowing there might be people who feel left out. This is an issue at every age! We discuss balancing "everyone is invited" with wanting smaller, more intimate hangouts where you can actually talk and be vulnerable. There's and time and place for both kinds of plans in our lives.
We dicussed:
LINKS MENTIONED:
Meet Ashlee and Katie: Ashlee Gadd is a mother, writer, photographer, and founder of Coffee + Crumbs. She is the editor and contributor of You’re In Good Company and the author of Create Anyway. She has spent the last ten years helping mothers harness their creative talents into powerful storytelling at Coffee + Crumbs—a beautiful online space where motherhood and art intersect. Find Ashlee on Instagram @ashleegadd. Katie Blackburn is a writer, teacher, and a lifelong learner. She's also a single mother to six kids, making her life very loud and surely impossible without the amazing grace of God. Katie is the author of Gluing the Cracks: Reflections on Disability,Motherhood and Hope; The Very Best Baseball Game, and Grace Will Be There: Finding God in the Life We Aren't Ready For (Forthcoming, August 2026). Find Katie on Instagram @katiemblackburn. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🔎 Information on any upcoming "Dear Nina Live" events 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #193 - How to Make Your City Better for Friendship (Aaron Hurst) | 27 avr. 2026 | 00:30:52 | |
Is your neighborhood or town welcoming? I spend a lot of time on this show talking about the one-to-one side of friendship—the texts, the plans, the misunderstandings, the dynamics that keep us close or pull us apart. But once in a while, I like to zoom out and look at something bigger: the social health of where we live. Our friendships don’t exist in a vacuum. They’re shaped by our neighborhoods, your cities, and whether connection in these places. My guest, Aaron Hurst, is the founder of the U.S. Chamber of Connection (yes, that’s a real thing—and it probably should have existed a long time ago), and he’s thinking about connection on a national scale. His work focuses on how we rebuild social life in a time when loneliness is rising, trust is declining, and more and more of our interactions are happening through screens. Here’s what I loved most about this conversation: the solutions are surprisingly simple. We’re talking potlucks, block parties, coffee in your driveway, neighborhood-wide walks, even just inviting people over on a Tuesday night. Just small, consistent efforts to bring people together as a volunteer where you live. Is your neighborhood, town, or wider city area welcoming? How so? I'd love to hear! Let's continue the conversation anywhere you see me posting about this episode. (That's usually @dearninafriendship on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. And in my Facebook group at Dear Nina: The Group.) In this episode, we talk about:
LINKS MENTIONED:
Previous episodes covering some of this ground: #138: The Neighborhood Village and How Community is Different From Friendship: Seth D. Kaplan #150: Join or Die: Pickleball, Potlucks, Democracy, and Your Health: Rebecca Davis and Pete Davis MEET AARON HURST: Aaron Hurst is a serial social entrepreneur, an expert in purpose and social connection, and the bestselling author of The Purpose Economy. He is the founder and CEO of the US Chamber of Connection, where he uses behavioral science to build the infrastructure for connection in America. Aaron's work has been featured in the New York Times, Washington Post, Fast Company and Bloomberg, among others. He previously founded the Taproot Foundation and Imperative, and he is a LinkedIn influencer. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #192 - Why Plans with Friends Don’t Happen—and How to Fix It | 20 avr. 2026 | 00:13:59 | |
Navigating friendship when your planning styles don’t match Why is it so hard to actually make plans with friends as adults? In this solo episode, I’m digging into one of the most common (and frustrating) dynamics in friendship: when one person likes to plan ahead and the other prefers to keep things spontaneous. I also discuss when both people like to have an actual plan, but one friend is doing most of the work of sending dates. I talk through why this mismatch can stall even strong friendships and what to do about it. From turning vague “we should get together” texts into real plans, to figuring out when it’s your turn to suggest dates, this is a practical, honest look at how to actually see your friends more often. Here’s the part I’ll say plainly: if a plan doesn’t get on the calendar, it usually doesn’t happen. That’s just the reality of adult life. But that doesn’t mean there’s only one “right” way to make plans or that being spontaneous "never" works. But having good intentions to "get together" aren't enough to sustain a friendship. Inside this episode, I discuss:
I also share a couple of real-life examples—one where spontaneity worked, and one where clear scheduling made everything easy—to show how both approaches can work when you’re intentional about it. This isn’t about forcing your style onto someone else. It’s about acknowledging the mismatch and actually talking about it because the “problem” here is a good one: you and your friend theoretically want to spend time together. And if that’s the case, there’s always a way to figure it out. If you’ve ever felt like you’re always the one making the plans, or you’re waiting around for plans that never happen, or you just can’t seem to sync up with a friend you really like—this episode will give you a realistic way forward. LINK MENTIONED: Episode 73 with guest Ruchi Koval: "I'm Just Not Into This Friendship" Episode 121: "Rules For Making Plans with Friends" "This is How to Make Plans With Friends" on Substack, Dec 2024 !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #191 - The Case for Work Friends and Where to Find Them When You Work Alone (Lindsay Pinchuk) | 13 avr. 2026 | 00:32:55 | |
The Unexpected Friendships You Find Through Networking When You Work Alone If you're ever feel lonely at work, lonely working from home, or you realize your regular friends just don't get what you do, this episode is for you. I spoke with Lindsay Pinchuk, award-winning entrepreneur and founder of the Dear Founder Forum, a networking community for women business owners over 40. Lindsay's group is a big reason the "Dear Nina" world has grown so much this past year, and this conversation is all about how networking communities (not just Lindsay's) can become an unexpected and essential source of real, lasting friendship. It's really something you might want to consider if you work alone or with a very small team. But just like in friendship, feeling seen and heard in a networking communities takes an element of giving of your time and attention, NOT JUST TAKING. In this episode we discuss the true friendships that can be made in a networking group and how those connections can help your business and your life.
Meet Lindsay Pinchuk Lindsay Pinchuk is an award-winning entrepreneur, consultant, and small business mentor who’s among the less than 1% of female founders to successfully lead her company through an acquisition. She built her first company, Bump Club and Beyond, from just $500 into a 7-figure brand with partnerships that included Target, Nordstrom, Huggies, and Unilever, reaching over 3 million people every month before selling the business to a large agency holding company. Today, Lindsay is the founder of Dear FoundHer, a top 0.5% podcast and community supporting women business owners over 40. Through her podcast, newsletter, mentorship program, and her signature SWEEP framework, she helps entrepreneurs simplify their marketing, grow their businesses, and build long-term success. Follow Dear FoundHer on Instagram @dearfoundher! ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| Bonus: Socially Confident Kids in a Screen-Filled World (Nina on "Your Child is Normal" with Dr. Jessica Hochman) | 06 avr. 2026 | 00:40:31 | |
I’m excited to share a fantastic episode from when I was the guest on Your Child Is Normal with pediatrician Dr. Jessica Hochman. (@askdrjessica on Instagram) Dr. Jessica and I spoke about how to help kids become socially confident in a world where so much interaction happens on screens. From teaching kids to initiate plans instead of waiting to be invited (adults need to master this too!), to why proximity and real-life time together matter more than ever, this is a practical conversation about what helps kids make and keep friends. We also got into what it looks like for parents to support friendships—hosting, encouraging, and sometimes stepping in—without over-managing. It's not easy! This discussion includes plenty of nuance. If you’re raising kids in today’s tech-heavy world, this one will give you a lot to think about. We talk about:
Meet Dr. Jessica Hochman Your Child is Normal is the trusted podcast for parents, pediatricians, and child health experts who want smart, nuanced conversations about raising healthy, resilient kids. Hosted by Dr. Jessica Hochman — a board-certified practicing pediatrician — the show combines evidence-based medicine, expert interviews, and real-world parenting advice to help listeners navigate everything from sleep struggles to mental health, nutrition, screen time, and more. Follow Dr Jessica Hochman: Instagram: @AskDrJessica and Tiktok @askdrjessica, YouTube channel: Ask Dr Jessica ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #190 - Why Birthdays Can Bring Up So Much Friendship Disappointment (Debra Arbit) | 30 mars 2026 | 00:39:20 | |
Reframing Your Birthday and Your Friendships Birthdays can be emotionally loaded and full of expectations, mixed signals, and quiet disappointment about what we’re “supposed to do” and who is “supposed to do” it for us. If birthdays have left you feeling overlooked or unsure of your friendships, this episode offers a practical—and freeing—way to think about them differently. And I know some of you are saying, "I don't care about my birthday anyway." That's okay! I'm still making the case that your birthday is an opportunity to be inviting and generous. Stick with me. In this conversation with my close friend Debra Arbit (who I didn’t meet until my early 40s!), we talk about reframing our approach to birthdays to one that makes them more joyful and reflective of the friendships we want. Debra shares how she planned her 45th birthday in a way that felt intentional, flexible, and genuinely fun. Please note, this conversation goes way beyond birthdays. It’s about expectations in friendships, as well as effort, vulnerability, and what it really looks like to build the kind of relationships you want. HIGHLIGHTS:
Again, if birthdays have ever left you feeling resentful or anxious, this episode offers a way forward—one that’s intentional, generous, and meaningful. LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET DEBRA ARBIT: In addition to being one of my real life actual close friends, Debra is a serial entrepreneur who is passionate about lifting up other women business owners. When she isn’t thinking of new business ideas or consulting with women business owners, she is likely cooking her way through a cookbook completing every single recipe within it. She recently finished her 20th complete cookbook and is steadily working through her never-ending stack. She posts all about her cookbook adventures on her Instagram account, @fortheloveofcookbooks, where she rates the recipes and shares which of her three kids and husband were willing to try whatever she made. Oh. And she happens to be moderately obsessed with birthdays and celebrating all of life’s milestones big and small. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #189 - Andrew McCarthy on Male Friendship, Reconnecting, and the Power of Showing Up | 23 mars 2026 | 00:33:04 | |
“You don’t really have any friends, do you, Dad?” That’s the question that stopped Andrew McCarthy—yes, the Pretty in Pink / Mannequin/St. Elmo's Fire/"Brat Pack" Andrew McCarthy—in his tracks and led to a 10,000-mile journey to reconnect with the people he considered his closest friends. Andrew's book, Who Needs Friends: An Unscientific Examination of Male Friendship Across America, is available now! In this episode, Andrew and I talk about what happens when friendships quietly drift into the background, why that happens so often for men, and what it actually takes to rebuild connections with people you know would be there for you in theory, but it's been too long since you've spent time together in person. This is a conversation about male friendship, but also about something much more universal: showing up, loneliness, and the kind of safety only real friendship can provide. WE DISCUSSED:
LINKS MENTIONED:
Meet Andrew McCarthy Andrew McCarthy gained fame as an actor in the 1980’s appearing in such iconic films as Pretty in Pink, St. Elmo’s Fire, and Less Than Zero, as well as cult favorites Weekend At Bernie’s and Mannequin. He has starred on Broadway and made numerous television appearances, most recently seen as a regular on Fox’s The Resident. Andrew most recently directed Brats, an intimate and provocative new feature documentary, which premiered on Hulu in June 2024. The documentary explores the iconic films of the 80s as well as their stars, branded with the name the “Brat Pack.” Beyond his work in front of and behind the camera, Andrew has become an accomplished author, and he is one of today’s leading travel writers. Andrew lives in New York with his wife and three kids. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #188 - Are You Repeating the Same Unhealthy Friendship Patterns? (Roxanne Francis) | 16 mars 2026 | 00:25:18 | |
When repeated friendship struggles may signal something deeper . . . I consistently hear from listeners who are struggling with friendship in ways that feel confusing or painful: repeated friendship breakups, difficulty making meaningful connections, uncertainty about whether to confront a friend or quietly drift away. While many friendship challenges are completely normal, when the same issues keep showing up again and again, there are likely deeper issues at play. In this episode, I speak with psychotherapist and social worker Roxanne Francis about how to recognize the difference between typical friendship struggles and patterns that deserve a closer look. We discuss some of the biggest themes that come up in my inbox: boundaries, ghosting, overly reliance on online friendships, and the growing tendency to cut people off quickly. Roxanne brings the perspective of a therapist who works with these dynamics every day and offers thoughtful insight into when self-reflection—or even therapy—might help us understand what’s really going on. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering why certain friendship struggles keep showing up, this episode offers thoughtful insight into what those patterns might be trying to tell you. (A version of this episode was originally released in April 2024 and it's every bit still as relevant today.) Meet Roxanne Francis Roxanne is an award-winning CEO of Francis Psychotherapy & Consulting Services, runs a busy group therapy practice, is a keynote speaker, leadership coach and corporate consultant who addresses topics related to women’s issues, race & equity, mental health, parenting, and wellness at work. Roxanne is also frequently in the media, sharing her expertise. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #187 - How ADHD Affects Adult Friendships: For People With ADHD and Their Friends (Cate Osborn and Erik Gude) | 09 mars 2026 | 00:54:27 | |
The Friendship Side of ADHD We Don’t Talk About Enough ADHD is getting more attention right now, but one part of the conversation often gets overlooked: how ADHD affects adult friendships for the person with ADHD and for that person's friends. To learn more, I spoke with Cate Osborn and Erik Gude, the duo behind the podcast Catie and Erik’s Infinite Quest: An ADHD Adventure and co-authors of the new book, The ADHD Field Guide for Adults. We discussed the friendship side of ADHD—especially the gap between caring deeply about people and actually managing the follow-through that friendship requires. We also talked about why making friends can feel easy (for some people with ADHD) while keeping them can feel much harder; how executive dysfunction affects things like reaching out, planning ahead, remembering important details, and staying present in conversation; and why “if they wanted to, they would” is often too simplistic when ADHD is involved. This conversation is for both people with ADHD navigating friendship and the friends who want to better understand them. Cate and Erik make a strong case for both sides: more compassion from neurotypical friends, and more responsibility from people with ADHD to build systems that help them show up well in relationships. It’s an honest, practical conversation about communication, rejection sensitivity, misunderstanding, and what it takes to create friendships that are both more realistic and more resilient. HIGHLIGHTS:
MEET CATE OSBORN & ERIK GUDE CATE OSBORN, along with Erik Gude, is an educator and advocate for people with ADHD. She is the host of Sorry I Missed This on Understood.org, which focuses on ADHD’s impact on relationships, communication, and intimacy, and the cohost of Catie and Erik’s Infinite Quest: An ADHD Adventure. A certified sex educator, she is the advisor to Playboy for her expertise in the intersection of intimacy and neurodiversity. Her work has also appeared in Cosmopolitan, The New York Times, GQ, HuffPost, and other outlets. Find out more at Catieosaurus.com. Follow Cate on TikTok and Instagram @catieosaurus. ERIK GUDE, along with Cate Osborn, is an educator and advocate for people with ADHD. He cohosts Catie and Erik’s Infinite Quest: An ADHD Adventure and, with Cate Osborn, and frequently hosts panels about the intersection of ADHD and gaming at conventions, including DragonCon, Emerald City Comic Con, GenCon, MomoCon, and San Diego Comic-Con. Erik’s ADHD Crafting Challenge was a huge success on TikTok with over 20 million views. A former cook, he is now a prop maker and fabricator at the legendary Fonco Studios. Follow him on TikTok and Instagram @HeyGude. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #186 - The Friend Who Copies You: Flattering or Frustrating? (Candace Ourisman) | 01 mars 2026 | 00:33:12 | |
We're unpacking a surprisingly charged friendship dilemma I answered for Real Simple magazine: How do you handle a longtime friend who copies everything you wear and do—outfits, home decor, and more—and doesn't mention the inspiration? She just shows up in her life as the mirror image of your choices? When I answered the letter for Real Simple, I side-stepped the fashion elements of the question because I'm not a fashion-forward person, at all. I stuck to wondering why the letter write would let the issue fester for 15 years. To help me address the parts I missed and even expand the conversation to friends who ask you to work for free AND friends who cannot give you a direct compliment, I’m joined by Candace Ourisman, creative director, brand consultant, and founder of Secretly Fancy. Candace lives in the world of personal style and taste! We talk about why this situation of being copied can feel flattering to some people and suffocating to others, and how oftentimes it depends on how the request for resources is addressed. We get honest about the part nobody wants to admit: sometimes the feeling of being copied isn’t about the item or the idea—it’s about what’s missing underneath it (acknowledgment, appreciation, and basic communication). In this episode, we get into:
Meet Candace Ourisman Candace Ourisman is a creative director, brand consultant, and gifting expert based in Washington DC. She founded Secretly Fancy in 2009, a lifestyle platform that blends fashion, home and hosting with a distinctly playful point of view. Candace is known for curating immersive, high-touch experiences, from designer trunk shows and intimate salons to editorial-driven events, bringing together luxury brands, tastemakers, and community. Her work and perspective have been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, New York Magazine’s The Cut, Washingtonian, Yahoo Finance, and more. Find her on Instagram: @secretlyfancy !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #185 - When Career Success Strains Your Friendships (Dr. Kimberly Horn) | 22 févr. 2026 | 00:28:36 | |
Today we're talking about a specific and underexplored friendship challenge: what happens to your social life as your career takes off. We get right to the heart of something many ambitious women feel but rarely say out loud — that they appear socially rich on the outside while feeling quietly disconnected on the inside. We discuss why a full calendar of networking chats isn't the same as genuine connection, and how competence can become a cloak that makes others assume you don't need support. I’m joined by Dr. Kimberly Horn, an internationally recognized research psychologist, professor, and public health scientist, and the author of Friends Matter for Life: Harnessing the Eight Tenets of Dynamic Friendship. Kimberly studies friendship through a public health lens, and she’s also lived what she teaches: the higher she rose professionally, the smaller (and trickier) her social landscape became. We talk about common friendship traps for high achieving women, how success can make relationships feel murkier (hello, “real friend” vs. “deal friend”), and other issues like jealously and lopsided friendships. In this episode, we get into:
Practical takeaways you can try immediately:
If friendship has started to feel like an “extra” you’ll get to someday, I hope this conversation helps you treat it like what it actually is: a health habit and a life support system. Meet Dr. Kimberly Horn Dr. Kimberly Horn is an internationally recognized research psychologist, professor, and public health scientist whose work bridges science and soul to improve human well-being. With nearly three decades of experience and more than 160 scientific publications on addiction recovery, and physical and emotional well-being across the lifespan, she is dedicated to helping people live healthier, more fulfilling lives. At the heart of her work is a simple truth: meaningful connection is a powerful health intervention. Her new book, Friends Matter, For Life: Harnessing the 8 Tenets of Dynamic Friendship—endorsed by bestselling author Mel Robbins—confronts the public health crisis of loneliness, exploring friendship as its antidote. It offers a practical path forward—rooted in research—for navigating modern friendship and reclaiming connection. Her insights have been featured by NPR, CNN, ABC, SELF, Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Mashable, Newsweek, The New York Times, TIME, USA Today, and Psychology Today. Kimberly is known for translating complex science into practical, relatable guidance for daily living. To learn more, follow Dr. Horn on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, or visit her website. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #184 - Why You Can Have Lots of Friends and Still Feel Insecure (Dr. Jeffrey Hall) | 15 févr. 2026 | 00:38:59 | |
Have you ever looked at your life and thought: I have friends. I’m doing things. I’m not isolated… so why do I still feel unsettled and maybe even lonely? This week’s guest is Dr. Jeffrey Hall (and yes, I was awkwardly a bit of a fan girl for this one). Dr. Hall is a professor and department chair of Communication Studies at the University of Kansas, where he directs the Relationships and Technology Lab. He’s the author of Relating Through Technology and The Social Biome, has written for The Wall Street Journal, and if you’ve read basically any big article about friendship over the last several years, you’ve probably seen his research quoted. You may know Dr. Hall best for his well-known findings on how long it actually takes to become close friends. We don’t get into the exact numbers in the conversation, so here they are: about 200 hours of shared time to become close friends, 80–100 hours for a solid friendship, and 40–60 hours for a casual one. If that feels like a lot, that’s the point. It explains why friendship can feel slow even when you’re “doing everything right.” But the heart of this episode is Dr. Hall's newer work from the American Friendship Project, research on what he calls the Loneliness and Connection Paradox. In the age range known as “emerging adulthood” (ages 18–30), people are often very connected--more friends, more touchpoints, more socializing than they’ll have later in adulthood--and yet they can still feel emotionally unsettled and lonely. That paradox isn’t limited to 20-somethings. Any season of rapid change can bring it on: moving, starting a new job, ending a relationship, divorce, kids leaving home, rebuilding a life, starting over. If you (or someone you love) is in a "season" where friendships feel shaky, slower than you want them to be, or weirdly unsatisfying even though you have a social life, this episode is for you. In this episode, we talk about:
Meet Dr. Jeffrey Hall: Jeffrey Hall is a professor and department chair of communication studies at the University of Kansas, where he is the director of the Relationships and Technology Lab. He is the author of Relating Through Technology and The Social Biome, and has written for the Wall Street Journal. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #183 - Are You Mad at Me? Friendship Anxiety and the Need for Validation (Meg Josephson) | 08 févr. 2026 | 00:41:10 | |
If you tend to assume someone’s upset with you when their tone shifts even slightly, when they don’t text back right away, or when you notice the smallest change in their availability, this episode is for you. And if you have a friend who is always asking, "Are you mad at me?" or assuming you're upset when you're simply living your life, then this episode will help you, too. I’m joined by licensed psychotherapist Meg Josephson, author of Are You Mad at Me?: How to Stop Focusing on What Others Think and Start Living for You. We spoke about people pleasing, anxiety in friendships, and that constant low-level worry so many of us carry: Did I say the wrong thing? Did I mess something up? Am I in trouble? Meg explains why people pleasing isn’t a personality trait or a weakness—it’s a survival response called fawning. A lot of us learned it early on as a way to stay safe, liked, and connected. The problem is that in adulthood, it turns into overthinking, over-apologizing, and a constant focus on how we’re being perceived, including in our friendships. It can very exhausting to live this way, and also tiresome for the friends who have to constantly assure you "everything's OK." In this episode, we talk about:
Meet Meg Josephson: Meg Josephson, LCSW, is a licensed psychotherapist. In her private practice, she specializes in trauma-informed care through a compassion-focused lens. She holds a Master of Social Work from Columbia University, and she is a certified meditation teacher through the Nalanda Institute. Meg also shares accessible insights via her social media platforms, reaching over five hundred thousand followers. Find Meg on Instagram at @megjosephson. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #182 - Three Phrases That Help When a Friend Is Experiencing Loss (Shelby Forsythia) | 01 févr. 2026 | 00:37:17 | |
Knowing how to show up for a friend in grief can feel overwhelming. We want to say the right thing, we don’t want to make it worse—and too often, that fear leads to silence. This episode is about finding words that help, not harm, and about staying connected when a friend’s life has been turned upside down. In this conversation, I’m joined by grief coach and author Shelby Forsythia, whose work centers on helping people navigate loss of all kinds—not only death, but also divorce, diagnosis, estrangement, friendship breakups, and other life-altering transitions. Shelby has spent nearly a decade working with grieving people, and what she offers here is incredibly practical, compassionate, and grounding. Rather than focusing on endless lists of “what not to say,” Shelby shares language we can use—simple, human phrases that help friendships survive the hardest moments. Shelby's newest book, Of Course I'm Here Right Now: Three Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving, is written for the people who want to support grievers—friends, family members, coworkers, and anyone who finds themselves walking alongside someone in pain. IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT:
Meet Shelby: Shelby Forsythia (she/her) is a grief coach, three time author, and podcast host. In 2020, she founded Life After Loss Academy, an online course and community that has helped dozens of grievers grow and find their way after death, divorce, diagnosis, and other major life transitions. Following her mother’s death in 2013, Shelby began calling herself a “student of grief” and now devotes her days to reading, writing, and speaking about loss. Through a combination of mindfulness tools and intuitive, open-ended questions, she guides her clients to welcome grief as a teacher and create meaningful lives that honor and include the heartbreaks they’ve faced. Her work has been featured in Huffington Post, Bustle, and The Oprah Magazine. Find Shelby: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | TikTok
!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #181 - Exclusion and the Power to Build New Friendships (Amy Weatherly) | 18 janv. 2026 | 00:31:36 | |
This week’s episode is an expansion to last week’s conversation with Dr. Noelle Santorelli about relational aggression, belonging vs. inclusion, and “mean mom groups.” The focus this week shifts from spotting unhealthy dynamics to the next (very hard) question: What should you do after you realize you’ve been excluded by the people you thought were your friends? Bestselling author Amy Weatherly returns with a mix of empathy and tough love, reminding us that adult friendship is rarely cut-and-dry. Sometimes the table truly only held four for that event. And sometimes, those people simply aren’t your people. Either way, Amy’s message is clear: you have more power than you think. Together, Amy and I unpack the gray areas of adult friendship and how popular online memes can be contradictory (“There's always room for everyone!” vs. “Protect your peace!”). We discuss why group-chasing usually backfires and how to build connection one brave invitation at a time. In this episode, we talk about:
Links Mentioned:
Meet Amy Weatherly: Amy Weatherly is the co-founder with Jess Johnston of the viral page all about friendship, Sister, I Am with You. They coauthored the new book, Here For It and the Wall Street Journal bestseller I’ll Be There (But I’ll Be Wearing Sweatpants) Find Sister I am With You on: Facebook, Instagram, and on their Website. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #180 - Mean Mom Culture, Relational Aggression, and Belonging vs. Inclusion (Dr. Noelle Santorelli) | 11 janv. 2026 | 00:55:42 | |
This week I have a conversation with clinical psychologist Dr. Noelle Santorelli about belonging vs. (forced) inclusion, "mean mom" culture, and relational aggression. And guess what? I recorded this interview with Dr. Santorelli BEFORE the Ashley Tisdale “toxic mom group” article from The Cut was making its way around the internet. I had to re-record my intro to this episode because not addressing the article and the aftermath would have felt off considering our topic for this one. In our discussion, Dr. Noelle and I spoke about what’s really going on when adult friendships start to feel like middle school. We unpack the difference between actual cruelty versus simply not wanting to be friends anymore (those are not the same thing), and why covert behavior is so confusing and painful to experience. Dr. Noelle gives language to things many of us have felt but can’t quite name. She also offers some much-needed reminders to pause, regulate, and stop assuming every social slight has one clear explanation. We talk about:
One line from this episode that really stuck with me: “Forced inclusion creates fragile belonging.” I also share a very real story about spiraling after getting no response in a group text—and how sometimes the answer isn’t “they’re being mean,” rather it's: “this wasn’t the right time, place, or audience.” My biggest takeaway: focus on patterns, not incidents, regulate before reacting, and ask yourself why you want into a group that might not actually feel safe or aligned. Links Mentioned:
Meet Dr. Noelle Santorelli: If you’ve ever found yourself deep in the drama of Mean Girls or Mean Girls in Motherhood (aka Mean Girl Moms), you’ve probably come across Dr. Noelle Santorelli on Instagram. A licensed clinical psychologist, Dr. Santorelli has spent the past 14 years in private practice and holds a position of adjunct faculty at Emory School of Medicine in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences. In her practice, she specializes in working with high-achieving women who’ve experienced early trauma or grew up in dysfunctional, toxic family environments—often with emotionally immature or narcissistic parents. She also has deep expertise in relational aggression across the lifespan, helping women navigate covert bullying from friends, family, and even the workplace. She helps break down the complexities of relational aggression, Mean Girl culture, and how to protect your peace in a world full of social landmines. Find Dr. Santorelli on Instagram and TikTok at @drnoellesantorelli !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #179 - Your Newest Friendship Questions, Answered (My Mom) | 04 janv. 2026 | 00:27:15 | |
For the first episode of 2026, I have my mom, Kathy Sackheim, in the studio for her 6th appearance on the podcast to help me answer a stack of listener questions straight from the Dear Nina inbox. We move quickly through a range of friendship dilemmas from listeners:
My mom, at 80, brings decades of perspective and a refreshingly no-nonsense approach to friendship. We talk about being realistic without becoming resentful, staying nonjudgmental, knowing when to widen your circle instead of forcing a group dynamic to work, and why friends and romantic partners serve very different roles in our lives. This episode is thoughtful, candid, and practical—exactly what happens when I put a microphone in front of my mom and let her answer your questions honestly. PREVIOUS 5 EPISODES WITH MY MOM:
LINKED MENTIONED:
!! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #178 - Top 5 Cities, Top 5 Episodes, and Friendship Takeaways from 2025 (Rebekah Jacobs) | 27 déc. 2025 | 00:35:53 | |
It’s the annual end-of-year wrap-up, and my assistant producer Rebekah Jacobs is back for a behind-the-scenes look at what landed with listeners in 2025 and why. The themes we keep coming back to on Dear Nina aren’t “college friends” or “mom friends” or “work friends.” It’s all of the above and more. The need to be chosen, to belong, to be wanted, and the sting when we don’t feel it—this is ageless and timeless. HIGHLIGHTS:
LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET REBEKAH JACOBS: Rebekah Jacobs is the assistant producer of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship and a writing professor who lives in Bethesda, Maryland, with her husband and three kids. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #177 - The Myth of Instant College Friends (Dr. Janice McCabe) | 19 déc. 2025 | 00:33:38 | |
Finding Your People in College Takes Longer Than You Think. At some schools its even a structural problem. As students come home between semesters, some parents might be worried about kids who haven't "found their people" yet. But it's so normal for friendships to take time to form! And even when it feels like "everyone else has a group," those groups often continue to change. I spoke to Dr. Janice McCabe an associate professor of sociology at Dartmouth College, the President of the Sociology of Education Association, and the author of two books: Making, Keeping, and Losing Friends: How Campuses Shape College Students Networks and Connecting in College: How Friendship Networks Matter for Academic and Social Success, about why friendship feels easy for some students and painfully hard for others. We dig into the idea of friendship markets—when they’re open, when they’re closed, and how to recognize the difference. We also talk about why clinging to the first friends you meet can actually make things harder and why the structures a school puts in place (the way dorms are organized or the types of orientation activities offered) can make a big difference in those early months. We also discussed the three common friendship network styles Dr. McCabe highlights in her research. More than anything, this episode is a reminder that friendship is a process and that there is always another opportunity ahead to meet new people, even when it feels like everyone is settled in their groups. Links mentioned:
Meet Dr. Janice McCabe: Dr. Janice McCabe is an associate professor of sociology and women’s, gender, and sexuality studies and the Allen House Professor at Dartmouth College. She teaches courses on the sociology of gender, youth, education, social problems, and research methods at Dartmouth. Dr. McCabe is the President of the Sociology of Education Association (SEA). Her books, Making, Keeping, and Losing Friends: How Campuses Shape College Students Networks (University of Chicago Press, 2025) and Connecting in College: How Friendship Networks Matter for Academic and Social Success (University of Chicago Press, 2016), focus on friendship networks and identities during college and into young adulthood. She is interested in how gender, race/ethnicity, and social class operate as social identities and how they shape social networks. Her research has been covered, among other places, in the Washington Post, Time magazine; NPR, New York Magazine, and the Boston Globe. Connect with Dr. McCabe on LinkedIn. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| Bonus: Take Back Your Social Life (Nina on “SuperPsyched” with Dr. Adam Dorsay) | 14 déc. 2025 | 00:44:30 | |
This week’s episode is a bonus! I’m sharing a conversation from when I was a guest on Dr. Adam Dorsay’s podcast, SuperPsyched. I don’t usually repost my own guest interviews, but I’m starting to sprinkle them in the feed because when I’m not the host, different things come out. Different angles. Different stories. Perhaps an even more direct way to discuss making and keeping friends. This interview was one of my favorites! Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and executive coach in Silicon Valley, and he’s also the author of the book, SuperPsyched. You’ll hear pretty quickly why I loved talking with him. In this conversation, we get into the real-life, practical stuff! THE HIGHLIGHTS:
LINKS MENTIONED:
MORE ABOUT DR. ADAM DORSAY Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and executive coach in Silicon Valley where he serves high-achieving adults (including professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, and professional athletes). Adam is the host SuperPsyched, an award-winning podcast with over 200 episodes available on all platforms. He has given two highly regarded TEDx Talks: one about men and their emotions and the other about friendship in adulthood and his book on the topic of the four ways people connect is available on October 1, 2024. Beyond his private practice, Adam is a resiliency expert who co-created an international program for Facebook’s Online Safety employees for several years. He now serves as the resiliency consultant to DigitalOcean and has frequent requests from the media for interviews. He has provided keynotes and trainings to multiple corporations and organizations, including Microsoft, Linkedin, and the California Psychological Association. He is happily married, the father of young boys, and he has a hypoallergenic 33-pound Australian Labradoodle therapy dog named Raffi, who lives at his home and works at his office. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #176 - Divorce and the Impact on Your Friendships (Hope Lutz Firsel) | 08 déc. 2025 | 00:28:47 | |
I’m finally tackling a topic I’ve been wanting to cover for a long time: how divorce affects our friendships. Today's episode addresses both sides of this question--whether you’re the one going through a divorce or you’re watching a friend go through it. Either way, the social fallout can feel confusing, lonely, and awkward. I’m joined by Hope Lutz Firsel, a women’s life coach who specializes in divorce. Hope has seen every version of this experience up close. She’s guided countless women through the emotional, logistical, and social upheaval of ending a marriage, and she’s been through it herself. Hope understands how divorce doesn’t just end a partnership—it shakes up an entire social world. In our conversation, we talk about the surprising grief that comes with losing not just a spouse but the life you imagined, the routines you relied on, and the community that once felt automatic. Hope explains why some friendships tighten instantly while others slip away, and how to tell the difference between a situational friendship and the kind that’s meant to evolve with you. We also get honest about why friends sometimes pull back and how to communicate what you actually need. If you’re navigating a divorce, if someone you love is, or if you simply want to be a steadier friend during someone else’s big life change, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a grounded understanding of what this shift really feels like. MEET HOPE: Hope Lutz Firsel is a women’s life coach and divorce specialist who draws on her expertise in organizational change to help women navigate the emotional, financial, and logistical complexities of divorce—and rebuild their lives afterward with resilience, confidence, and grace. Having faced infertility, cancer, and divorce after an 18-year marriage, Hope brings deep empathy, clarity, and powerful mindset tools such as Rapid Resolution Therapy to help women rediscover their authentic selves and create fulfilling lives beyond divorce. Through her one-on-one coaching, group programs, workshops, and collaborations with family law professionals, Hope fosters safe, supportive spaces where women can heal, grow, and regain a sense of purpose. She frequently partners with divorce attorneys to educate and empower clients through webinars and community events. Based in Boca Raton, Florida, Hope works with clients nationwide and has helped countless women transform adversity into strength and self-assurance. Find Hope on Instagram, LinkedIn, and Facebook. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #175 - Write a Letter to One Friend: December (the final!) Friendship Challenge | 01 déc. 2025 | 00:14:20 | |
The final friendship challenge of the year is to write one friend a real letter. This was inspired by the novel I'm currently reading and loving--The Correspondent by Virginia Evans. Yes, it can be typed and even sent via email. But this NOT a text saying, “I hope you’re well" or "I miss you." Write an honest, thoughtful note saying:
It can be one paragraph, but it should be from the heart. If you’ve been following the challenges, this is the perfect finale. If you’re new, it’s a surprisingly easy way to deepen one friendship right now. This challenge doesn’t require making plans, arranging childcare, or leaving the house. This is all about a few sincere sentences that could make someone’s entire year. I also did a super-speed recap of all eleven previous challenges. So if you missed a few, you’ll catch up in minutes. And you’ll hear why I'm retiring the challenges for next year. (Not the podcast, just the challenges.) Make sure to visit me and fellow Dear Nina listeners in the Facebook Group or on my Substack newsletter to let us know you completed the task. Mentioned in this episode:
ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #174 - Why Being Left Out by Friends Hurts So Much (with neuroscientist Dr. Ben Rein) | 25 nov. 2025 | 00:36:57 | |
I'm thrilled to welcome Dr. Ben Rein, neuroscientist and author of Why Brains Need Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection. We discuss what friendship does to your brain and why loneliness is SO damaging over time. We cover why introverts still need connection (just in smaller “doses”), why ghosting and quiet quitting in friendships can land so harshly, what’s really behind jealousy when friends succeed, (plus how to override it), and the science of that instant “friendship chemistry” when you click with someone new. Dr. Rein also shares simple, practical ways to make others feel seen and ideas for being more intentional about your social life. This all for the sake of your mental and physical health. Don't miss this one! HIGHLIGHTS:
LINKS:
MEET DR. BEN REIN: Ben Rein, PhD is an award-winning neuroscientist, author, and science communicator. He serves as the Chief Science Officer of the Mind Science Foundation, an Adjunct Lecturer at Stanford University, and a Clinical Assistant Professor at SUNY Buffalo. He has published over 20 peer-reviewed papers on the neuroscience of social behavior, and is the author of Why Brains Need Friends: The Neuroscience of Social Connection. Rein also shares educational neuroscience videos on social media to an audience of more than 1 million followers, and has been featured on Entertainment Tonight, Good Morning America and 75+ podcasts including StarTalk with Neil DeGrasse Tyson. His science communication efforts have been recognized with awards from the National Academies of Science, the Society for Neuroscience, and elsewhere. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #173 - What Does It Take to Stay Friends for 40 Years? (Jenn Sherman and Pam Sunshine) | 17 nov. 2025 | 00:43:39 | |
The Real Work Behind Lifelong Friendship This week I’m joined by two women who accidentally went viral on social media, but they've been doing the real work of close friendship for over four decades. I'm a BIG fan and begged them to let me examine their friendship on the show. Meet Jenn Sherman (who you might know from Peloton) and Pam “Sunny” Sunshine who are the best friends behind the popular @sunnyandjenn accounts on TikTok and Instagram. Jenn and Pam's story is fun (truly wild TikTok origin included), but the real gold is how they’ve stayed close through many stages of life—college, moves, careers, parenting, vacations, losses, and now a shared business. If you’ve ever wondered why some friendships last and others quietly fade, this episode is packed with answers you can use with old friends and new friends alike. HIGHLIGHTS FROM OUR CONVERSATION:
LINKS MENTIONED:
MEET JENN SHERMAN AND PAM SUNSHINE: Sunny and Jenn are lifelong best friends turned content creators, sharing their journey with audiences on Instagram and TikTok. Friends for more than 40 years, they bring humor, honesty, and heart to everything they do — from wellness and midlife shifts to the everyday moments of friendship. Their platforms celebrate living authentically, laughing often, and reminding people that the best parts of life are meant to be shared. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||
| #172 - What “Beaches” Gets Right About Friendship (Professors Paul Eastwick & Eli Finkel) | 10 nov. 2025 | 00:48:52 | |
You've arrived at the best academic nerd-out ever on the movie Beaches. Find out why CC Bloom and Hillary Whitney's instant friendship chemistry, breakups and makeups, and tear-jerker ending still wrecks us (in the best way). Is there something we can still learn in 2025 about making, keeping, and losing friends from this late 80s film? Absolutely. And professors of psychology agree! My assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs, and I were thrilled to dissect Beaches and its timeless lessons on friendship with psychology professors Paul Eastwick of UC Davis and Eli Finkel of Northwestern University. Paul and Eli are also the dream team behind the Love Factually podcast, where they explain what our favorite romantic films get right--and wrong--about the science of romance. For this episode of Dear Nina, they turned that laser focus to friendship instead. We examined CC & Hillary's iconic bond through research on conflict, jealousy, apologies, complementary roles, the “soulmate” mindset, and more. We laughed a lot too! Yes, we quote the department store fight. Yes, we talk about "Wind Beneath My Wings" and other unforgettable songs from the film. Yes, Rebekah wore a Bette + Barbara t-shirt. It’s peak friendship content with genuine lessons for your adult friendships. Don't miss this one! HIGHLIGHTS:
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MEET THE PROFESSORS: Eli Finkel is a Professor of Psychology and Management at Northwestern University. He is the author of The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work, the founding co-director of the Litowitz Center for Enlightened Disagreement, and the co-host of the Love Factually podcast. Paul Eastwick is a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis and author of the forthcoming book Bonded by Evolution. His research and writing has been featured in outlets like The New York Times, The Atlantic, NPR, and Scientific American Mind, and he is a co-host of Love Factually MEET REBEKAH JACOBS: Rebekah Jacobs is the assistant producer of Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship and a writing professor who lives in Bethesda, Maryland, with her husband and three kids. !! Catch up on all Dear Nina episodes on Apple and Spotify 📢 How to promote your service, business, or book on Dear Nina 🎈 Celebrate your friend on the show by dedicating a week of episodes! 📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack ❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, & the Dear Nina Facebook group 📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question 📪 email: dearninapodcast@gmail.com 🔎 Want to work with me on your podcast, your friendships, or need another link? That’s probably here. Special thank you, as always, to my assistant producer, Rebekah Jacobs! | |||