Start your year with a fresh focus on wellness! In this special episode, we’re joined by Olivia Mead, founder and CEO of Yoga For First Responders® (YFFR), a groundbreaking nonprofit that helps first responders and military personnel process stress, enhance performance, and build resilience through yoga.

Olivia shares how YFFR’s job-specific, research-backed protocol is transforming mental health and reducing PTS(d) risks in active-duty professionals. Learn about the benefits of yoga for first responders and their families, including tools to navigate the unique challenges of their demanding careers.

Discover how YFFR is making a difference with certified instructors, a dedicated training app, online courses, and more. Whether you’re a first responder, a family member, or someone passionate about mental health, this episode offers practical insights and inspiration.

Use code: DC200 when you register for in-person or virtual instructor school for $200-off

In-person Instructor School: https://www.yogaforfirstresponders.org/instructor-school

Virtual Instructor School: https://www.yogaforfirstresponders.org/virtual-instructor-school

Learn More about Yoga for First Responders

website: https://www.yogaforfirstresponders.org/

Instagram: @yogaforfirstresponders

As we wrap up our 2024 season, we’re ending on a high note—dispatchers. Often overlooked yet absolutely vital, dispatchers are the unseen first responders behind every emergency call. Joining us is Ashley Valenzuela, better known as The Raspy Dispatcher. A seasoned 911 dispatcher since 2018, Ashley has made it her mission to educate the public and aspiring dispatchers about the realities of emergency communications. Through her platform and podcast, she combines her experience, humor, and empathy to shed light on the critical role of 911 dispatchers.

In this episode, Ashley dives into the complexities of dispatching, from managing escalating calls to balancing the trauma of back-to-back emergencies. We explore misconceptions about dispatchers, the differences between police, fire, and medical dispatching, and how dispatchers navigate mental health challenges. Whether you’re a first responder, a dispatcher, or someone curious about what happens behind the scenes of a 911 call, this episode is packed with insights, real talk, and respect for the people holding the line when emergencies strike.

Tune in for an eye-opening conversation and a heartfelt tribute to the incredible work of 911 dispatchers. Don’t miss our final episode of the season!

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Love: What Life Is All About by Leo F. Buscaglia

The Dispatchers' Shelf

Follow The Raspy Dispatcher

website: https://www.theraspydispatcher.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theraspydispatcher/

Podcast: Let's Talk Dispatch

In this heartfelt episode, Audra and Chelsi welcome Kristina Moon, widow of FDNY firefighter William “Billy” Moon II, to share her powerful story. After tragically losing her husband in 2022 during a training exercise, Kristina has dedicated her life to keeping his memory alive through The Billy Moon Foundation. As president of the foundation, Kristina advocates for organ donation awareness and encourages families to have difficult yet vital conversations about their end-of-life wishes.

Join us as Kristina opens up about her journey from elementary educator to nonprofit leader, and how she’s honoring Billy’s legacy while raising their two children, Brianne (12) and Colin (10). In this episode, we discuss the impact of organ donation, and the importance of resilience in the face of unimaginable grief.

Kristina’s story is one of strength, love, and advocacy. Through her foundation, she aims to help others in the firefighter community, spreading awareness and education about the life-saving potential of organ donation.

Key Topics Covered:

• Kristina Moon’s journey as a widow and president of The Billy Moon Foundation

• The impact of organ donation

• The importance of having tough conversations with loved ones

Books Mentioned

Dare To Lead by Brene Brown

Follow The Billy Moon Foundation

website: https://billymoonfoundation.org/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_billy_moon_foundation/

California is heating up and fire season is just around the corner. In this episode we hear from Susan Farren, author of The Fireman's Wife and founder of  First Responder Resliency Inc. how fire families can best prepare for fire season.

Susan is the founder of First Responders Resiliency Inc. A graduate of the Stanford paramedic program, Susan has served her entire career in the industry of pre-hospital care. Serving in both the private and public sectors as a paramedic, supervisor, operations manager, peer counselor, clinical manager, EMS educator and consultant throughout the greater Bay Area.

Follow Susan

Instagram: @resiliency1st
Website: https://www.resiliency1st.org/

To book Susan to speak at your next event visit susanfarren.net

In todays episode we will hear from Jennifer Osler-Bolton (podcast host at Lavender Dahlia) how the tragic death of her husband Rylan Osler impacted her and how she and her children were supported during her time of grief. She will go on to give us some advice about how to best support a loved one who has suffered a loss. Jennifer is also newly remarried and shares how her new marriage has completely transformed her life.

Ryan Osler was one that could be trusted to do a job well, do it correctly, and give it everything he had. Known as “Otter” throughout the department, his reputation spread quickly as the guy who always had a strong sense of duty, offered a quick grin, and was the first to get dirty or offer a helping hand.  In September of 2016 Ryan tragically lost his life while responding to the Canyon Fire in Lompoc California. Ryan and his partner were involved in a tragic accident involving their water tender as they were transporting water to the fire. He left behind his wife of nearly 16 years Jennifer Osler-Bolton and their two children.

Follow Jennifer's Journey:

Website: http://jenniferoslerbolton.com/

Instagram: @jjoslerbolton

Podcast: Lavender Dahlia

In this episode we sat down with Physician Assistant, Clinical Herbalist and Functional Medicine specialist Jessica Meyers and talked about how holistic healing can benefit first responders and their families.  Tune in to learn how to use herbal medicine to get back to sleep and reduce stress.

Jessica Meyers began her career in healthcare over 14 years ago as an EMT in Los Angeles, CA. She later became a phlebotomist, working part-time and volunteering, while earning her Bachelor's Degree from Biola University. Jessica continued her education with a Master's Degree from University of Southern California- Keck School of Medicine, graduating as a Physician Assistant.

During her time in clinical practice, Jessica found her true passion of herbal medicine. Drawing from her background in the traditional medical model, herbal medicine experience, and integrative/ functional training, Jessica offers a truly innovative approach to taking charge of your health.

Follow Jessica

Instagram: @jessicacmeyers
Website: https://www.jessicameyers.com/
Shop: https://www.jessicameyers.com/shop-1

When you hear “firefighter” what comes to mind? A cute guy climbing a tall ladder to rescue a kitten? Maybe a guy with a mustache + ash covered fire helmet, staring straight into your soul. That’s how society sees them.

When we think of our firefighters, we think of grueling hours + selfless acts, all in the name of duty. When we hear “firefighter”, I immediately think of their family.  We think of the days they spend away from home. We think of their partner who often holds down the fort solo. The constant interruption to schedules and routines for their kids. The way their partner feels like they have to take a back seat.

They’re everyone’s hero, but are you theirs?

In this episode Audra + Chelsi address the way that society views firefighters, uncomfortable experiences that they've had with other women flirting with their husbands when they were in uniform, and answer some of your random questions and put themselves on the hotseat. This is a must listen for sure!

Charisty Haislip of firedeptfamily.com shares  how she and her firefighter set boundaries around work while juggling family and work life.

Charisty is a Florida mom who loves to spend time enjoying the water and theme parks with her Firefighter/Paramedic Husband, Matthew, and their kiddos. She prefers cats over dogs, lattes over coffee, and loves a good beach sunrise. You can find her sharing more about the good, bad and unexpected parts of the Fire Life over at FireDeptFamily.com

firedeptfamily.com is a blog that focuses on real life stories of the family making it work while their firefighter enjoys the best job in the world. Jokes are told, stories are shared, and advice is given as we muddle through this adventure called life.

Follow Charisty:

Insta: @fire.dept.family
facebook: https://www.facebook.com/firedeptfamily
Website: http://firedeptfamily.com

If you enjoy the show and want to keep hearing from us, please consider leaving us a rating + review on iTUNES. 

CAL FIRE Benevolent Foundation CFO Stephen Hartman shares his insight on how families can best prepare for the worst case scenario that the loss of a loved one in a line of duty death.

Stephen also shares the role Cal Fire Benevolent Foundation takes in the fire service, how it got started, and where it is today.

Stephen Hartman worked for CAL FIRE for 25 years before retiring as a Battalion Chief. He has been involved in CAL FIRE Local 2881 for over 28 years. Being a firefighter himself, he understands they give it all, and sometimes people don't realize what they sacrifice to protect all of us. Stephen says "firefighters are notoriously independent and rarely ask for help, so it's essential to take care of our own in any way we can."

For more info please visit: https://calfire.foundation/

Follow CAL FIRE Benevolent Foundation:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/calfirebenevolent/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CALFIREBenevolent/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CALFIREFound

We've been surviving a pandemic for over a year now and it has taken a toll on the mental health of our first responders and healthcare workers all over the world. So what if there was a way to help our loved ones that are in these fields to cope with the circumstances a bit better? That's where James Boomhower comes in. In this episode, we sat down with James (again) and learned what pandemic fatigue really is, how to identify the signs in our responders, and how to talk to them and ourselves so that we could all push past it.

James Boomhower  is a Critical Care Transport Specialist- a paramedic with Boston MedFlight and the founder of StayFit4Duty.  The mission of Fit for duty is to help medical professionals treat their mental health with the same dedication and tenacity as they treat the physical health of those they took an oath to help.

Resources for when you need help:

SUICIDE PREVENTION HOTLINE: 800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: https://www.crisistextline.org/

Follow Along with  James:
Instagram: @stay_fit4duty
link.tree: https://linktr.ee/stay_fit4duty

John Nason is a 3rd generation firefighter from  Southern Maine. In 2019 He and a couple of his fellow firefighters started Truck Schmucks- a podcast for firefighters to encourage brotherhood/sisterhood and advocate for first responder mental health. John struggled with PTSD early on in his career and ultimately chose to share his story and be part of the solution by being involved in training other firefighters. He now serves as a lieutenant and head of the training division in his department in Southern Maine.

In this episode John tells us about his background in firefighting, his journey through his mental health struggles, and how Truck Schmucks got started.

FOLLOW TRUCK SCHMUCKS
Instagram
facebook
iTUNES

We took a poll at the beginning of Season 2 on instagram asking for recommendations on guests and topics for our podcasts. A brave listener submitted the idea of having an “average joe” on the show and volunteered herself. This is how we met Emily Marasso. Raised in Southern California, Emily is a Fire wife of 9 years and mom of two young boys. She’s worked in marketing and media for over 10 years for different industries. Emily is a huge mental health advocate as she has suffered with depression and anxiety since childhood. She hopes that by sharing her story today that she can give strength and hope to others! Emily's husband Jordan works as a firefighter with San Diego Federal Fire.

More info about Emily can be found on her instagram at @marassomanor

In season one of Dear Chiefs Podcast, we had Sequoia Etcheverry walk us (Audra + Chelsi) through a critical incident that  we experienced several years ago during The Valley Fire in Middletown, California.

In this episode, we are getting a peek behind the scenes of that same incident and interviewing Chelsi's husband, Cameron, a Cal Fire Local 2881 Union Member about what he experienced while working the fire and how his experience differed from what his wife was experiencing at home. 

**This episode was pre recorded during the 2020 California Lightning fires and may make reference to California's 2020 fire season. Thoughts and opinions in this episode are personal in nature and do not represent any specific fire agency. This is a personal account of a traumatic incident that was experienced by Cameron. In this episode, he and Chelsi are interviewed by Sequoia Etcheverry.

At any time during this episode if you are feeling an emotional response, it is okay to either pause or turn it off completely.

You may want to make sure to be in a place that you feel safe and secure, surrounded by a calming atmosphere and reach out for support from us or your peers if needed. We can be reached through instagram messenger @dearchiefspodcast or email: dearchiefsover@gmail.com

Sequoia is the significant other of a Cal Fire firefighter for over 11 years. She has survived the long fire season deployments, the promotions and career changes, the missed holidays and celebrations, the shift work that makes for both exciting reunions and sometimes difficult ones too. She has enjoyed deeply learning about the ups and downs of her partner’s career, both operationally and emotionally, and is especially proud of the positive influence he has on the world day to day. She helped raise her partners two incredible daughters, who are now 16 and 22 years old.Sequoia works in the field of first responder trauma as a research assistant and as a peer supporter, especially for first responder families. She has trained clinicians in cultural competence and has been deployed to a number of major incidents in the past 5 years. She has her master’s degree in Depth Psychology, the study of the unconscious, with a focus in trauma, dream work, mythology, and deep nature connection. She is training to become a practitioner in a specialized clinical treatment for Complex-PTSD, which is concerned not only with critical incident acute stress, but also developmental and relational trauma. 

In this inspiring episode Audra and Chelsi sit down with Fire Captain Andrea Binley, a trailblazing female firefighter who proves you can have it all—your career, dreams, and family. Starting her journey as a Fire Explorer with Upland Fire Department at just 19, Andrea has climbed the ranks from firefighter/paramedic to Captain, all while balancing motherhood and a blended family.

Andrea shares her experiences as a female firefighter in a predominantly male field, the challenges of co-parenting with a firefighter schedule, and what lit the spark inside her to become a firefighter. A passionate advocate for diversity and mentorship, she has developed programs like the DREAM committee (Diversity, Recruitment, Equity, and Mentorship) and the Girl’s Empowerment Camp, supporting and mentoring the next generation of women in firefighting.

We discuss online criticism in the firefighting community, being the subject of firefighter memes, and advice for firewives who may feel uneasy about female firefighters in their departments.

Follow Andrea:

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/welcometothelionsden/

or

https://www.instagram.com/firelifemomwife/

Key Topics Covered

• Andrea Binley’s career journey from Fire Explorer to Captain

• Balancing motherhood and a firefighter’s demanding schedule

• Supporting diversity and mentorship in firefighting through the DREAM committee

• Empowering women in firefighting through the Girl’s Empowerment Camp and Women’s Fire Alliance

• Navigating a blended family as a firefighter and mom Step Parent Coaching Course: https://www.mindykylecoaching.com

• Handling online bullying and firefighter memes

Books Mentioned

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

Atomic Habits by James Clear

It's Okay to Be the Boss by Bruce Tulgan

Leadershift by John C Maxwell

Everything Is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo

It takes grit to be a hero. Sometimes that grit requires self sacrifice which sometimes leads to Line of Duty injuries. Our first responders endure both physical and emotional pain everyday for the good of their communities. So, when they need help to overcome a physical injury, they also need people who ultimately understand that all they want to do is get back to work. They  must be at peak performance in order to report for duty. This is where  The 6 Foundation comes in!  In this episode, we sat down with Sonya McVay Straub about how she helps first responders get back to work after they've been injured on the job. 

Sonya is a Sports Rehabilitation Therapist who  had a traumatic experience as a child and  recalls feeling a passion for wanting to help those that helped her.  She started  The 6 Foundation after she witnessed many first responders mental health issues come to a head during the 2017 Firestorm in Sonoma and Napa Counties and then again in 2019.   The 6 Foundation is a non-profit foundation focused on rehabilitation both mentally and physically for veterans, first responders and trauma survivors.  For 8 years Sonya donated her time to help rehabilitate first responders.  She is working on  making it comfortable to say I need help and shifting the culture in EMS. 

Follow along:

The 6 Foundation:
http://www.thesixfoundation.com
http://www.instagram.com/the6foundation
Dear Chiefs Podcast
http://www.dearchiefs.com
http://www.instgram.com/dearchiefspodcast

If you want to connect with us and other listeners in the Heart and Hustle community join our Facebook group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/dearchiefspodcast

Pandemic Whoas got you feeling a bit stressed and unable to self-regulate? Ever feel helpless when you know your first responder has had a bad call? Then this episode is for YOU sis!

We had the immense pleasure of sitting down with fellow fire wife and mother of three kiddos, Kristen  Jensen to get the skinny on how to help ourselves and our first responders!

Kristen is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst (BCBA) and founder of Mind Gym. Kristen specializes in providing behavior analytic services to first responders, fire fighters, police officers and hospital staff. She provides training to departments, hospitals and private organizations in addition to creating STRESS SHEETS for hospitals, fire stations, dispatch call centers and police Departments.

More INFO on Kristen:

Instagram: @mindgymonline and @firefighterwifelife

Purchase Stress Sheets HERE

Jenna Hammon + Tori Bradburry believe that "sisterhood is the best hood".  What started out as two fire wives wanting to meet other fire wives in their surrounding community, turned into wanting to meet others from everywhere.  Their goal is to create a community where all women feel welcome. We sat down with these rockstar humans to learn more about what it is that brought them together, how they are building this community and supporting other fire wives, and what they have in the works for the future.

Here's a little bit from the website:

"We want our Fire Wives Club to be a place where ALL women feel welcomed.

After all, we do have that one thing in common... being a fire wife.

BUT, there’s more to each of us than just being a fireman’s wife;

We, often times, are the glue that holds our families together. Some of us are “domestic engineers”, who are at home providing for all of the household while our husbands are providing the income. Some of us work full-time jobs.

Some of us are pursuing our dream of starting a small business.

Some of us have decided to go back to school to pursue a college degree.

Whatever walk of life you’re in, this club is for you!  If you need support or encouragement, this club is for you. If you want to promote your new business, this club is for you. If you’d simply like to make a new friend, this club is for you!

This is why we’re here!"

Join the club  ⇣
Website
Instagram

Jenna and Tori's Other Businesses
All The Wire
Grounded

In this episode we  sat down with Jason Sautel, author of The Rescuer: a Firefighter’s Story of Courage, Darkness, and the Relentless Love That Saved Him. Tune in for the inside scoop on the book, to hear some seriously good advice on how to manage being married to a first responder, and learn more about Jason's story.

A little about the book from his website:

"He helped save people every day—but he had no idea how to save himself.

Jason Sautel had it all. Confident in his abilities and trusted by his fellow firefighters, he was making a name for himself on the streets of Oakland, California. His adrenaline-fueled job even helped him forget the pain of his childhood—until the day he looked into the eyes of a jumper on the Bay Bridge and came face to face with a darkness he knew would take him down as well."

Jason spent much of his early adulthood as a decorated firefighter in one of the toughest firehouses in the country and today shares  stories and lessons from his time there to his 600,000+ Facebook followers. He loves his wife of sixteen years, Kristie, his four two-legged children, his two four-legged children, and appreciates the blessings of donuts, surfing, and Maui.

If you enjoyed the episode and want to learn more or purchase Jason's book, please visit the following:

Jason's website: http://www.rescuerbook.com
Jason's instagram: @author_jasonsautel
Jason's facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GracefullyRescued/

Our teens are facing something that we have never faced ourselves and it is hard to know how to support and encourage them through this time. Teen suicide is on the rise and as parents we are constantly worried that our child will be next. So, we sat down with Shannon a high school counselor to get the 4-1-1 on teaching resilience, supporting and encouraging our teens through the pandemic.

Shannon is a happily married fire wife of 21 years. Her professional role is a High School Counselor and her husband is a Fire Captain in their hometown. They both share a strong love and desire to give back to their hometown which is why they live and work locally. 

Shannon has a special place in her heart for all things social justice and believes in the power that we all have to make a difference in someone’s life. In their free time, she and her husband like to spend time as a family, go to the beach and exercise. 

Audra & Chelsi are back in Season 2 with more on fire family life and giving their unabashed opinions on many topics.

Welcome back fam, this season is going to be FIRE!

Ever wonder what you should put in an emergency evacuation kit? Tommy Flames has the answer today, but that's not all we talked about. We got to talk about what made Chris Metala start Tommy Flames, what his goals are for the future, and what he thinks makes a true hero.

You and your child can also join Tommy Flames on his awesome educational adventures on youtube. Tommy's fun educational videos for children will teach kids about colors, shapes, numbers, and many more. During all videos you will also get to join Tommy & his Jr Firefighters on an emergency call.

For all your Tommy Flames gear go to Tommyflames.com

Most of us in the the California fire service community have heard of From The Ground Up and the work they have been doing for Hold Your Horses, California Fire Foundation and California Benevolent Foundation. What we know little about is who started it and what their mission truly is. Today, we sit down with Kyle Baker and talk about the heart behind the foundation and what they have planned for the future.

Kyle Baker is the founder and owner of From The Ground Up. Being raised by parents who have journeyed into multiple family businesses throughout his life, entrepreneurship, hard work, and giving back to the community have always been a part of his life. With two children and a family of his own now, he wanted to move embark on his own journey. After a family friend went through a terrible tragedy, he witnessed the love and support of the community coming together in a time of need and knew he wanted to recreate that into a movement. That came to fruition in 2020 with From The Ground Up, family based organization dedicated to connecting communities in times of need. They bring attention to victims of tragedy and natural disasters through thoughtfully designed products that aid in the financial burden of loss. The Wildfire Project is there first of what they hope to be many.

Being California natives, their hearts break year after year watching fires ravage the state, displacing and taking the lives of our neighbors and wildlife. They created hats made from retired fire hose depicting the CA bear and their brand. 100% proceeds go back to the organizations they are partnered with: California Benevolent Foundation, Hold Your Horses and California Fire Foundation. They plan to pursue different projects throughout the years in hopes of building up their communities and rebuild them from the ground up. You can find them on Instagram @fromthegroundup.store or visit their website fromthegroundup.store to learn more and make a purchase.

We are so excited to introduce today’s guest to you all! Today we are sitting down with Abi Rogers of Confessions of a Firefighter Wife Foundation (CFFW)! Abi gives us an update on what is happening with the foundation, their plans for the future, and gives us a few relationship pointers too!

Abi is married to a California firefighter and started a lifestyle blog about the highs and lows of being married to a career firefighter and all that California’s fire seasons bring while trying to maintain a relationship and raise kids. Through blogging, Abi discovered that there was a whole community of women silently holding down the fort and supporting their firefighters, just like her. This prompted her to transform her blog into CFFW Foundation. CFFW offers education and awareness of important subjects such as mental health, firefighter cancer, and maintaining the home and marriage. CFFW also offers financial support to fire families in need on a case by case basis.

Join us as we check-in with each other now that fire season is winding down, talk about our holiday plans, and what is in store for Dear Chiefs Podcast in the coming months. 

In this episode, Audra and Chelsi sit down with Rachael Choate, a mother and firefighter’s wife, to explore the often-overlooked topic of Mom Rage and its impact on first responder families. Rachael shares her personal journey from corporate leadership to motherhood, opening up about her struggles with postpartum anxiety, depression, and anger. She explains how life coaching helped her find healing and balance, and how she now uses her experiences to support other moms facing similar challenges.

Throughout this conversation, they dive into the complex feelings of guilt, resentment, and the pressures of being the default parent in a first responder household. Rachael offers practical insights on managing emotions, breaking the cycle of bottled up feelings, and how moms can create space for self-care even when their partners are away on long shifts.

Rachel Choate graduated with bachelor’s and master’s degrees in psychology before entering the corporate world, where she traveled across the country, teaching leadership development skills and coaching leaders within her company.

After getting laid off in 2019, she decided to focus on starting a family with her firefighter husband of four years. Becoming a mom turned out to be way harder than she imagined, and she struggled with likely postpartum anxiety, depression, and anger.

Topics Covered:

• Understanding Mom Rage in first responder families

• Managing resentment and guilt when your spouse is away

• Coping as the default parent and avoiding burnout

• The importance of emotional expression and self-care

Books and Podcasts Mentioned

Loving What Is by Byron Katie

The Friend Zone by Abby Jimenez

Huberman Lab Podcast

Follow Rachael

https://www.instagram.com/rachaelchoate_/

This week we are doing things a little differently. Instead of interviewing an expert, the expert is interviewing Chelsi  + Audra about a critical incident that they experienced several years ago during The Valley Fire in Middletown, California.

**This episode was pre recorded a few weeks ago during the 2020 California Lightning fires and may make reference to the 2020 fire season. Thoughts and opinions in this episode are personal in nature and do not represent any specific fire agency. This is a personal account of a traumatic incident was experienced while their husbands were assigned to the fire.

In this episode, we are being interviewed by Sequoia Etcheverry.  Sequoia is the significant other of a Cal Fire firefighter for over 11 years. She has survived the long fire season deployments, the promotions and career changes, the missed holidays and celebrations, the shift work that makes for both exciting reunions and sometimes difficult ones too. She has enjoyed deeply learning about the ups and downs of her partner’s career, both operationally and emotionally, and is especially proud of the positive influence he has on the world day to day. She helped raise her partners two incredible daughters, who are now 16 and 22 years old.

Sequoia works in the field of first responder trauma as a research assistant and as a peer supporter, especially for first responder families. She has trained clinicians in cultural competence and has been deployed to a number of major incidents in the past 5 years. She has her master’s degree in Depth Psychology, the study of the unconscious, with a focus in trauma, dream work, mythology, and deep nature connection. She is training to become a practitioner in a specialized clinical treatment for Complex-PTSD, which is concerned not only with critical incident acute stress, but also developmental and relational trauma.

At any time during this episode if you are feeling an emotional response, it is okay to either pause or turn it off completely.  You may want to make sure to be in a place that you feel safe and secure, surrounded by a calming atmosphere and reach out for support from us or your peers if needed. We can be reached through instagram messenger @dearchiefspodcast or email: dearchiefsover@gmail.com

Lisa Yu has always dreamed of being a writer and publishing books. She has a master's degree in Elementary Education and taught kindergarten and first grade for 6 years before becoming a full-time mom. She believes in treating children with respect and dignity, and embracing their curiosity of the world. They should be given the facts and guided to understand the world around them, for one day they will be adults. She feels passionately about sharing this message and hopes that her books will make a positive impact on children and their families.

Lisa's husband is a career firefighter and is often gone for long stretches of time. When their son turned one and a half he began to realize that his daddy left for long periods of time and then returned, but what one and half year old truly understands the concept of time or where his daddy went? He would cry and didn't understand that Daddy was coming back soon.  they talked to him about what Daddy does; that he drives fire trucks and helps people in need, and that Daddy loves them very much and will be back soon. After much repetition, he started to understand.

Lisa realized there was a problem that needed a solution and then "My Parent's Job Children's Series" was born!

The goal of My Parent's Job Children's Series is to showcase jobs and explain them on a level a child can understand. The books are meant to bridge the gap faster in a child's understanding of why a parent leaves for an extended period of time to go to work, (especially where professions keep parents away at night), and what they are doing during that duration.  It is expressed in a way where a child feels proud of their parent, and come to an understanding that it's something they must do, while loving them all the while.

These books can also a resource for  families, schools, or anyone who may want to teach their children about a profession even though they may not live it.

For more information or to purchase a book visit www.myparentsjob.com. 
 

If you've been curious about how essential oils work, how they can benefit your sleep and mental wellness, or even want to remove toxic chemicals from your home, this episode is jam packed with all sorts of goodness for you.

We sat down with USGC wife, mother of 2 (with a new recruit on the way), and Young Living Expert Aislinn Lilly and we got down to the nitty gritty of how to incorporate essential oils into your sleep routine, how to eliminate candles with toxic chemicals from your home but still keep that feel good smell, and how to wear and diffuse oil blends for mental clarity and a better night's sleep.

helpful oils for sleep aid (calming effects): 

• lavender 
• cedarwood
• frankincense
• valerian
• vetiver
• roman chamomile 

How to use:

•  make a roller 
• diffuse in the bedroom
• add a few drops to your nighttime bath
• make your own bedtime mist for pillows and linen

*oils to avoid around children varies depending on age and health conditions

oils to avoid with dogs:
aniese
clove
horseradish
thyme
wintergreen
juniper
yarrow
garlic

oils to avoid with cats:
cinnamon
thyme
wintergreen
oregano
birch
clove
tea tree

For more information on Young Living Essential oils visit Aislin on instagram at : @aislinn.lilly

Raise your hand if you have trouble going to and staying asleep at night! If your hand is raised high like ours, you're going to want to listen to this episode because Jaqueline Toomey of First Responder Sleep Recovery drops some very good tips about getting into a bedtime routine, how to fall back asleep in the middle of the night when you are woken up, and tips to help your first responder recover their sleep after a critical incident.

Jacqueline’s firefighter husband's health, and the health and wellness of the brothers and sisters of the fire service whom he serves alongside, quickly came to the forefront of her everyday mission when they first met years ago. Sadly, her husband lost his senior partner on the job to suicide and this deeply impacted both of them- simultaneously motivating them to care for the psychological and physiological well being of those in the fire service. With over ten years of experience in the field of health and wellness, jacqueline has  dedicated her expertise towards her passion for first responder mental restoration and physical wellness. she specializes in sleep-deprivation, stress and trauma relief therapeutics and founded the transformative First Responder Sleep Recovery Program™.  she received my BA from Regis University, completed masters-level coursework in Education at Metropolitan State University and has trained in Nutrition Therapy. she is a 3-time Yoga Alliance internationally certified yoga and meditation instructor.  She is deeply honored to present at IAFC conferences, peer support groups, F.O.O.L.S, and has taught fire departments in over ten states in the U.S. and two Canadian provinces. She was awarded the most read contributing author to the online firefighter publication, LeatherHeadMafia.com with over 100,000 readers in 2018. You can also find her written work on sleep in the fire service at FireEngineering.com and a new Canadian firefighting publication Crackyl. 

Tips from the show:

Waking in the night with insomnia? Do this 10 minute practice:

- https://insighttimer.com/jacqueline/guided-meditations/nervous-system-reset 

Fall asleep to this practice (try to lay down on back, cover body with blanket and listen:

- https://insighttimer.com/jacqueline/guided-meditations/sleep-recovery-practice-relax

For more information about First Responder Sleep Recovery
website: www.firstrespondersleeprecovery.com
facebook: www.facebook.com/firstrespondersleeprecovery
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/firstrespondersleeprecovery/

In this episode Megan Cordaro from thepatchworkparent.com shares how to handle screen time in the age of Distance Learning and how to be gentle with our children especially when one parent has a high stress job like our responders.  

Megan is mama to 5 kiddos, including a set of twins, ages 15 to 6. She has been a fire spouse/partner for 20 years. She received her Bachelor's degree in Psychology, followed by her Master's in Social Work. After welcoming her first babies home, her heart knew her education and passion would be best utilized at home, raising her children. In a perpetual state of growth, she yearns to share what she's learned so far with anyone who feels they could benefit. She loves books that relate to respectful and gentle parenting.  

Megan "patches" together ideas, reality experiences, determination, tears and laughter to craft a perfectly imperfect calm and loving childhood for her children.

California is in the throes of fire season, our firefighters have been away from home for days, COVID-19 is still a major concern, and we're locked inside our houses still because of Shelter in Place orders. Audra and Chelsi check-in and discuss the hot-mess-express that is 2020.

Today is the 3rd anniversary of the Tubbs Fire in Sonoma/Lake/Napa County.  It started October 8, 2017 very late in the evening and pretty much the course of Audra's life. Join her in this short episode for a glimpse of what she learned and how she felt as she experienced this critical incident.

Wikipedia describes the Tubbs Fire as follows:

The Tubbs Fire was a fire storm that ravaged Northern California during October 2017. At the time, the Tubbs Fire was the most destructive wildfire in California history, burning parts of Napa, Sonoma, and Lake counties, inflicting its damage to the city of Santa Rosa. Its destructiveness was surpassed only a year later by the Camp Fire of 2018. The Tubbs Fire was one of more than a dozen large fires that broke out in early October 2017, which were simultaneously burning in eight Northern California counties, in what was called the "Northern California firestorm."[9] By the time of its containment on October 31, the fire was estimated to have burned 36,810 acres (149 km2); at least 22 people were believed to have been killed in Sonoma County by the fire.

The fire started near Tubbs Lane in the rural northern part of Calistoga, in Napa County. It destroyed more than 5,643 structures,half of which were homes in Santa Rosa. Santa Rosa's economic loss from the Tubbs Fire was estimated at $1.2 billion (2017 USD), with five percent of the city's housing stock destroyed.The Tubbs Fire also incurred an additional $100 million in fire suppression costs.

After an investigation lasting over a year, the California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (Cal Fire) determined that the Tubbs Fire was "caused by a private electrical system adjacent to a residential structure" and that there had been no violations of the state's Public Resources Code.

In this episode, we explore the vital connection between self-care and the emotional challenges faced by spouses of first responders, especially the loneliness and disappointment that can come with their unpredictable schedules.

Joining us is Destiny Morris, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Destiny Morris Marriage and Family Therapy. Destiny holds a Bachelor’s degree in Theology from her time in New Zealand, a second Bachelor’s in Sociology and Applied Psychology from UC Santa Barbara, and a Master’s in Clinical Psychology from Antioch College. She has extensive experience working with first responders, having trained in EMDR and earned her First Responder Counselor Certification.

Destiny’s journey with her firefighter boyfriend, along with her professional background, led her to create the Instagram community @on_being_resilient. She believes resilience is a skill we can all develop as we better understand ourselves and our first responder partners.

In this conversation, we dive into how prioritizing self-care not only supports our well-being but also strengthens our relationships with those who serve on the front lines. Destiny shares her insights on balancing personal and professional life, the importance of empathy and warmth in therapy, and how humor can play a role in navigating the challenges unique to first responder families.

Follow Destiny

website: https://www.destinymorristherapy.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/on_being_resilient/

Enroll in Destiny’s Course: Thriving Through Fire—The Survival Guide Every Firefighter Spouse Needs

In this episode we sit down with James Boomhower from @Stay_fit4duty and discuss how first responders can best integrate their partners in their career by avoiding commonly occurring mistakes.

James is a Critical Care Transport Specialist- paramedic with Boston MedFlight and the founder of StayFit4Duty.  The mission of Fit for duty is to help medical professionals treat their mental health with the same dedication and tenacity as they treat the physical health of those they took an oath to help.  

 
Fit for Duty has three goals: 

1. Support and advocate for the need for better mental health and resilience education and practice in the medical profession. 
   
   
2. Advocate for and help teams create peer support programs within their institutions. 
   
   
3. Help align individuals in need with members of the mental health profession who understand medical professionals, their world view, and ideals in a way that gives them the best mental healthcare possible. 

Mental Health is a hot button topic in the world of emergency responders. We hear about PTS and the ultimate burnout that comes from seeing things day in and day out that no human should ever have to see. We even too often hear about suicide because the troubles get too big. What isn't being talked about enough, is the high divorce rate among responder relationships and how to guard our marriages against it.⁠

In this episode we sat down with Daniel Mills of @911buddycheck and talked about why he started the Buddy Check Project, what happens when first responders don't get help with their mental health, and how to avoid PTS leading to divorce. ⁠

Join us today as we unpack what Daniel describes as his "The Yet Factor" and how it impacts relationships in EMS. Fair warning, his story is intense, so make sure when you listen to this episode that you are in a comfortable and quiet and safe place.


The 911 Buddy Check Project is the mental health revolution.  They help providers climb and conquer the four mountains: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual.  Providing peer support and personal training.  More than just talk, but actual solutions and healing.

For more information about 911 Buddy Check Project visit www.https://www.911buddycheck.org/

Or find them on instagram: @911buddycheck

⁠Watch BIG GUY on Netflix NOW!!⁠

In this hilarious and heartwarming episode of Dear Chiefs, we welcome the incredibly talented Rachel Feinstein! Rachel is an actress and stand-up comedian who also happens to be married to an FDNY Battalion Chief. She brings her unique perspective as a fire wife, combining humor and relatability in a way that resonates with everyone. Rachel shares stories about her life, her marriage to a firefighter, and how she balances her successful career with being a mom. We also discuss her new NETFLIX special, BIG GUY, debuting on May 21. Get ready to laugh out loud and gain some insight into the life of a comedian married to one of New York’s bravest. Tune in for an episode packed with laughter, firefighter tales, and the charming wit of Rachel Feinstein!

Mentioned during this episode:

Firehouse Cookies

Irene Bremis: Sweetie

Peaky Blinders

Punchline SF

Follow Rachel:

Website: ⁠https://punchup.live/rachel-feinstein⁠ or ⁠https://rachel-feinstein.com/⁠

Instagram:⁠ https://www.instagram.com/rachelfeinstein_/⁠

"Believe in something even it means sacrificing everything"
Join us for this short bonus episode as we pay tribute to our fallen heroes.
Where were you on 9/11/2001?

Does your baby or toddler have a hard time sleeping in general or when your first responder is away from home?⁠ You're in for a treat because in this week's episode we had a chance to sit down with Heidi Lovens a certified Baby + Toddler Sleep Coach specializing in gentle and holistic techniques to help support sleep for the ENTIRE family!

Heidi shares her best 5 tips of how to get your child on the path to a better night's sleep + shares a bit about her journey as a fire wife. And if that isn't enough, in this episode, we end with a little challenge for our listeners, so make sure you listen all the way to the end!

For more information on Heidi and her sleep coaching, please visit https://everydaylovens.com/

You can also find Heidi on Insta: @everydaylovens

$75 off Heidi's sleep training package for fire families! USE code: FIREFAMILY 

Join us as we talk to Dr. Kristy De Leon about how to support our first responders as they begin to return from the California Fires, nationwide BLM protests and other critical incidents that they encounter during their shifts.

Dr. Kristy De Leon, PsyD has 18 years in the mental health field, is first responder wife, mom to 2 boys (one with Autism and the other with ADHD). Dr. Kristy has a long history with grief & loss making it one of her areas of specialty. She is first generation Colombian and her upbringing included a constant grief towards relatives still in Colombia and cultural differences. In addition to working through the grief of losing loved ones, Dr. Kristy worked through and has researched the ambiguous loss/chronic sorrow experienced by parents of special needs children. Her journey as a first responder wife & special needs mother has been the source of inspiration for her passion towards helping women and couples restore their sense of self through acts of self love so that the quality of their marriage begins to improve within days.

Resources from Episode:

1. What is PTSD?

https://www.yourtango.com/experts/marshon-thomas/five-silent-signs-ptsd-less-noticeable-and-obvious

2. First Responders & PTSD:

https://firstresponderstressmanagement.com/how-to-understand-ptsd-for-first-responders-frontline-workers/?pp=1

3. Trauma vs PTSD.
First Responder's symptoms may be a natural response to trauma rather than PTSD.

https://mentalhealthathome.org/2018/11/02/what-is-trauma-vs-ptsd/amp/

4. PTSD checklist:

https://pin.it/69C4WmV

Coping with Anxiety:

1. Different Coping Mechanisms

https://www.thelawofattraction.com/tips-coping-stress/?utm_source=pinterest&utm_medium=pin&utm_campaign=pin-loa&utm_content=tips-coping-stress

2. How to be there for your spouse:

https://loveandbluesblog.com/ptsd-first-responders/

3. The Love Language Test- so important to know your spouse top two love languages so that you know exactly how to love them. 

https://www.5lovelanguages.com/

Mental Health Website resources:
https://www.mentalhealth.gov/

https://www.betterhelp.com/
https://www.talkspace.com/

Whether it is because mom or dad are away during a shift or COVID-19 has them distance learning, our kiddos need routines and schedules. We had a chance to sit down with Amanda Cearley fellow fire wife and Educational Specialist and talk about how to keep children grounded and get through some tough times. 

What happens when communication breaks down between you and your first responder? What if things are left unsaid? How can we best respond and relate to what our significant others are going through when they get home? Want answers to these questions and so many more? Well, you're in luck because in this episode, we break it down from the responder's perspective and give you tangible tips on how to begin to create a safe place for your hero to land.

Jeff Banman is the executive director of The Operational Mindset Foundation and Host of Mindset Radio Podcast. Every moment of every day is unscheduled, unknown and uncertain as to how far someone will have to go to protect lives, property or the security of our Nation. The mission of The Operational Mindset Foundation is to empower those who serve  to face the challenges of their respective roles by providing them the most relevant training, development and tools critical and necessary to success on the job AND AT HOME.

If you would like to connect with us and others in our community please join our facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/dearchiefspodcast/
and
instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dearchiefspodcast/

Follow along with Jeff:

Operational Mindset Foundation: https://www.opmindset.org/
Mindset Radio: https://mindsetradio.com/
Mindset Radio Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindsetradio/
Jeff's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindset06actual/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindsetradiopodcast + https://www.facebook.com/opmindset/



 

Join us as we check in with each other, talk a little about our journey through fire season, and explain the meaning behind the podcast name. 

Ashley Iverson lost her husband Cory a Fire Apparatus Engineer while he was battling the Thomas Fire in Ventura California in 2017. In the midst of her family's incredible loss, Ashley founded the Cory Iverson Foundation for Active Awareness (IFAA) to change the narrative surrounding mental health in the fire service. Too often our first responders are told that "if they are not strong enough mentally to take it, they don't belong ". IFAA aims to change the narrative within agencies in order to provide better mental support and resilience to our community.

Ashley shares her journey through grief and how IFAA is impacting Mental Health in the Fire Service.  

Get to know Val Selby of Wife Behind the Fire.  We get a little giggly in this one, but for those seasoned fire wives, you'll laugh right along with us! 

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Get the low down on Audra and Chelsi! 

In this episode, we tackle navigating family life in a first responder household with neurodivergent children. Joining them is Jessi Brown, firewife to her husband Phil, a seasoned firefighter with a large department outside of D.C.

Jessi shares her journey raising Lyla, almost 11, and Buddy, 9, both of whom are autistic, with Buddy navigating additional disabilities. With a decade of research and advocacy under her belt, Jessi opens up about the joys, challenges, and unique circumstances faced by families like hers.

From the mental and physical toll on the default parent to the financial strains and moments of pure joy, Jessi delves into the intricacies of balancing firefighting life with the demands of parenting neurodivergent children. Offering invaluable advice, she addresses the isolation and overwhelm experienced by many first responder parents in similar situations.

Tune in as Jessi sheds light on her journey, emphasizing the importance of neurodiversity-affirming support for children and families alike. Whether you're a first responder parent or simply seeking insight into this intersection of identities, this episode promises to offer both perspective and encouragement.

Dive into a compelling episode as Dr. Peter Salerno, a renowned psychotherapist specializing in clinical psychology and trauma treatment, shares invaluable expertise on navigating manipulative relationships and trauma recovery. Dr. Salerno's extensive background in diagnosing trauma-related conditions and personality disorders ensures a deep exploration of this complex topics.

Listeners gain crucial insights into the core characteristics of narcissism and PTSD, along with the interplay between trauma and its development. Dr. Salerno's expertise illuminates the nuances between narcissistic traits and PTSD symptoms, offering clarity on how these factors influence individual responses to trauma.

With a keen focus on specialized care, Dr. Salerno emphasizes the importance of tailored therapy approaches, cautioning against the risks of relying on unprepared therapists. Practical advice abounds as he guides individuals through recognizing manipulation within relationships, empowering them with strategies to regain control and agency in their healing journey.

Join us for an enlightening discussion as we uncover the intricacies of manipulative relationships, trauma recovery, and the path to healing and empowerment with Dr. Peter Salerno.

Books and Media Mentioned During This Episode

Dr. Salerno's book The Nature and Nurture of Narcissism is coming out on June 1.

Sharp Objects on HBO MAX

Without Conscious by Robert D. Hare

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

Follow Dr. Salerno

website: https://www.drpetersalerno.com/

instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drpetersalerno/

In this episode, we delve into the profound journey of Davin Cole, a retired lieutenant with over thirty years of experience in law enforcement in the San Francisco Bay Area. Davin's career spanned various roles, from Field Training Officer to K9 Officer and Trainer, each presenting its own challenges and rewards.

However, Davin's story takes a dramatic turn as he opens up about his battle with addiction. A debilitating on-duty injury became the catalyst for a decades-long struggle with prescription pain medication and alcohol addiction. Despite his decorated career, Davin found himself trapped in the grip of substance abuse, facing a personal crisis that overshadowed his years of service.

But Davin's story doesn't end there. With resilience and determination, he embarked on a journey of recovery that ultimately led him to a place of sobriety and purpose. Now, Davin has transformed his experiences into a powerful platform for advocacy, shining a light on addiction and mental wellness within the law enforcement community.

In this episode, Davin candidly shares the highs and lows of his journey, offering insight into the unique pressures first responders face and the often-overlooked toll it can take on their mental health. Through his raw and honest account, Davin aims to educate, inspire, and offer solidarity to those silently struggling with similar challenges.

Join us as we explore Davin Cole's remarkable transition from badge to battle and discover the resilience and hope that can emerge from even the darkest struggles.

Books Mentioned During This Episode

Relentless Courage by Michael Sugrue: https://amzn.to/3UDqBW5

Recovery by Russell Brand: https://amzn.to/3Qlwq8f

Follow Davin

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/davin-cole-51780152/

email:  contactdavincoleATgmailDOTcom

In this episode, we delve into a critical issue facing firefighters and first responders: the alarming prevalence of cancer within their ranks. With cancer emerging as the leading cause of death among firefighters, the urgency to address preventive measures has never been more pressing.

This episode highlights the routine annual check-ups that firefighters undergo and sheds light on a troubling reality. Despite outwardly healthy appearances, many doctors often overlook the potential risks lurking beneath the surface. Enter Prenuvo, a pioneering company dedicated to revolutionizing preventive healthcare.

Joining the discussion is Dr. Sefi, a distinguished medical professional with a background that spans from Brown's Medical School to prestigious institutions like Stanford and Aidoc, before landing at Prenuvo. Dr. Sefi shares insights into the innovative technologies and approaches Prenuvo employs to detect cancer in its earliest stages, long before symptoms manifest.

Through compelling anecdotes and expert analysis, this episode explores the crucial importance of proactive measures in safeguarding the health and well-being of our brave firefighters and first responders. Tune in as we uncover the groundbreaking efforts to detect cancer before it strikes, offering hope and support to those on the front lines of emergency response.

Follow Prenuvo

website: https://www.prenuvo.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/prenuvo/

We're thrilled to dive into the world of first responder family life with our special guest, Kaitlin Soule, a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Mental Health expert based in California.

Kaitlin Soule brings a wealth of expertise, specializing in women and teen mental health, modern parenthood, and anxiety disorders. As a mother of three and the wife of a firefighter, she offers a fresh perspective on navigating the complexities of this lifestyle. We'll even discuss her newly released book, A Little Less of a Hot Mess: The Modern Mom's Guide to Growth & Evolution

From the initial stages of her husband's firefighting career to the ongoing challenges of managing schedules and coping with the unpredictability of mandatory calls, Kristin shares her experiences. She provides practical, invaluable tips for finding balance and peace while navigating the everyday stresses of first responder spouses.

Books Mentioned During This Episode

Yours Truly by Abbi Jimenez

Good Inside by Dr. Becky

Follow Kaitlin

website: https://bayareamoderntherapy.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kaitlin.soule/