In Anita's lifetime, the divorce rate for Americans over 55 has doubled. People are living longer, divorce stigma has decreased and women are more financially independent. But leaving a decades-long marriage … is a big life upheaval. Anita gets personal accounts from two gray divorcees about what it was like to rebuild their identities, finances and freedom post-divorce. They discuss money management, surfing and why women initiate divorce most often in heterosexual partnerships.

Meet the guests:

- Laura Stassi is a writer, editor and the host of the podcast "Dating While Gray."

- Dr. Stephanie Han is a literature scholar, award-winning author and educator.

Special thanks to Nanette Murphy and Linda Lingo for sharing their thoughts for this episode!

Read the transcript 

Pilot episode! Laura attends her 40th high school reunion, where her former classmates open up about their own love lives and dating strategies. Then, she revisits a man she went on a date with to get schooled on online dating and the “three-date” rule. Finally, Laura gleans inspiration from a couple who met at the apartment building where they both liv

Are you starting to fret that despite all of your efforts, you’ll never find The One? Here’s a little inspiration to relax and just let it be: three stories of not seeking love, but magically finding it. 

Since her divorce, Laura's happily lived alone with Jade, her Australian Shepherd mix. But she wonders what it might have been like to go through the pandemic sharing space with a housemate.

Laura is admittedly freaked out by dating apps. But she's also curious how other gray daters are connecting during the COVID pandemic. Does being high risk for the virus have to put a limit on love?

Laura Stassi is back for a second season of conversations about romance and relationships after age 50! This time around, the podcast takes on how dating is affected by personal finances, adult kids and of course, finding companionship during the COVID crisis.

Laura talks with writer Sophy Burnham, who offers romance insights based on her decades of personal experience. Then Laura gets relationship advice from Leora Hoffman, an attorney-turned- matchmaker who built her business while finding a partner for herself. Listeners phone in with their own advice about love before Laura speaks with marriage and family therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas. Her books "Calling In The One" and "Conscious Uncoupling" help people make romantic connections, or lovingly end them.

Laura talks with Rev. Joani Peacock, who made a personal discovery around the time her marriage ended. She's confident in herself — but that doesn't mean it's easier to date. Then Laura sits down with Giselle, who found acceptance only after letting go of a long-held secret. Finally, while we're all social distancing, Laura checks in with Ann, who's found a creative way to be her true self and keep the spark alive in a long-distance romance.

Laura talks with Maxine, who lived most of her life as a self-described "alpha male" until the day things just clicked. Then Laura sits down with The Naked Truth author Leslie Morgan Steiner. Leslie describes how she reclaimed her sexuality after her gray divorce, and teaches Laura how to open her eyes to the possibilities of making romantic connections. Laura also learns about making connections despite physical distancing from listeners like Robert, who gave virtual speed dating a go.

Laura talks with legendary women's college basketball coach Elaine Elliott, whose commitment to her partner endured long after the romance was over. Then, Norm and Jeanne share the story of how they built a solid partnership without mentioning the "C" word. Finally, Laura sits down with public radio icon Diane Rehm, who put her own modern spin on a traditional choice.

Laura talks with Ken, who's reluctant to date after feeling financially burned in his marriage; accountant and financial planner Colette Kolanko, who says we can find creative and loving ways to talk about money with a future partner; and Bob and Marge, who merged their lives without blending bank accounts.

Laura talks with Evamarie about the discovery that leads her to try online dating; Mark, whose search for love after devastating loss feels more urgent and also, elusive; and Girard, who gains romantic clarity after a health crisis.

Laura talks with Sandy, who shares how communication set the stage for her second 'first time,' and Dr. Jen Gunter, author of The Vagina Bible, and a leading advocate for communicating about women's sexual health. Then she debunks myths about male sexual health with Dr. Arthur Burnett, a surgeon and scientist whose research led to the development of Viagra. Finally, Laura learns about communication, intimacy and adult toys with Kathryn Ellis, an occupational therapist and sexuality counselor.

Shared mission, different game plan: Laura chats with Caitlin Pierce, creator of the reality dating show Hang Up from Radiotopia/PRX. 

Laura talks with Steven, who tries bonding with his partner's vicious dog even as their marriage hits the rocks; Jamie, who offers to share her home with an unlikely housemate; and Jenevieve, who throws practicality aside to summon the online dating spirits.

Host Laura Stassi talks with New Yorker Dennis, who doesn't want to give up the single life. Maybe he's waiting for the perfect woman to finally become available? Then there's Michele in Washington, D.C. Despite successfully connecting people in her large professional and social circles, she hasn't made a romantic connection for herself. Finally, life coach Amy Schoen says people who want to couple up need to be intentional in thought and actions.

Host Laura Stassi attends her 40th high school reunion, where her former classmates open up about their own love lives and dating strategies. Then, she revisits a man she went on a date with to get schooled on online dating as well as the “three-date” rule. Finally, she gleans inspiration from a couple who met at the apartment building where they both live.

Since the first modern dating website was created in the mid-’90s, millions of people have spent a lot of time, energy and dollars. So why is the jury still out on whether technology actually leads to lasting love connections?

Laura gets insights from Ryan Frederick, author of “Right Place, Right Time: The Ultimate Guide for Choosing a Home for the Second Half of Life.” 

Laura talks with Carson, whose change in relationship status sparks a cross-country move. Then, Laura hears from unlucky-in-love Albert, who wonders if it makes sense to re-establish himself somewhere other than his longtime hometown to find what he’s looking for, relationship-wise. For advice, Laura taps Bill Chopik, associate psychology professor and director of Michigan State University's Close Relationships Lab. 

Finally, Laura meets up with Margo, who lives in the big rig she drives cross-country for her career. Margo loves her life behind the wheel but is starting to think that for her personal life as well as dog Xander’s well-being, it might be time to come off the road.  

Laura chats with Stephanie, who’s living around the globe on a budget after divorce and retirement.

Remember the PSA that aired on TV for years, with the egg and the frying pan: This is your brain, this is drugs, this is your brain on drugs? It seems like love can be a lot like that, too, even when we’re older. Why? For answers, we turn to perhaps the premier expert on the brain and love: Helen Fisher.

Laura chats with one of Dating While Gray’s role models: Meredith Goldstein, Boston Globe advice columnist and host of the Love Letters podcast. 

Medicare is more complicated, and expensive, than many people realize. Also, it’s not too early to start thinking about this benefit. An Arm and a Leg host Dan Weissmann gets the scoop from Sarah Jane Tribble, who’s been covering the story for KFF Health News and the Washington Post.

A growing number of older couples are not sharing space 24/7. It’s called living apart together, or LAT. Anthropologist Helen Fisher reveals her LAT arrangement with husband John. Then Laura chats with Vicki Larson, author of the forthcoming “LATitude: How to Make a Live Apart Together Relationship Work.” Finally,  an LAT arrangement involving a duplex sparks a courtroom battle.

Can we keep the love faith while circumventing the deceivers? Security analyst Kim Key offers advice and tips on avoiding online romance scams, based on her research and reporting for PCMag. Then, Laura hears about conducting background checks on potential dating partners from listeners including Paula, who says it’s her new M.O. after her experience with a suspiciously eager love interest. Finally, journalist and “Duped” author Abby Ellen shares about uncloaking her former fiancé. She wonders if he’s simply larger than life; turns out he’s a lying liar.

Ahead of the international get-high holiday of 4/20, Laura chats with cannabis researcher Dr. Peter Grinspoon. He also has thoughts about dating. Plus, the Golden Bachelor couple announced they’re getting divorced. Did you see it coming? Listeners – and Laura – have thoughts. 

Crystal and Dave clicked! First online, and then in real life. Are they moving too fast? Have the red flags been flying all along? Laura talks with each of them about their relationship journey.

Sydney helps mom Jennifer navigate the dating apps. Widower Herb offers daughter Jen tips for a successful long-term relationship, even as bad timing keeps him apart from his longtime love. Both stories prove that the ties that bind us need not be restrictive. They can provide just the right amount of support, at just the right time.

In the first episode of our new microcast, Speed Dating While Gray, a matchmaker makes a provocative, off-topic comment about Laura’s gray hair.

Does the number 1 rule in real estate value also apply to finding new love? Hometown dating field reports are filed by listeners including Marina, in Denmark’s capital city; and relational coach Diana Lockett, in a ruggedly scenic part of Canada.

Listener Stacy is mulling over a marriage proposal. History and tradition suggest that’s the ultimate romantic commitment expression. But at our age, does it make financial sense? For help answering that question, Laura calls on two experts: a financial planner, and a prenup attorney.

Maybe we’re doing it, maybe we’re not. Maybe we want to, maybe we don’t. We might be thinking about it … intimacy coach Anna Marti offers insights for all of us, plus Cate and other listeners share their concerns.

When it comes to finding love or making a commitment, is there ever an expiration date? Laura talks with Julie, who’s been on the dating market for almost a quarter-century. Then she checks in with Clyde and Trish, who’ve chosen the slow road despite instant chemistry.

What happens when a journalist covering the older-dating beat tries to get real about a TV show? Listeners weigh in with their opinions – about The Golden Bachelor and also, everything Laura said about it for Slate’s recap podcast.

Longtime dating coach Damona Hoffman offers practical and optimistic insights from her book, “F the Fairy Tale: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story.” Plus, listeners share their true stories about the search for love.

Words of romance wisdom from: Writer Sophy Burnham, who offers insights based on decades of personal experience; Leora Hoffman, an attorney-turned- matchmaker who built her business while finding a partner for herself; DWG listeners; and marriage and family therapist Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of “Calling In The One" and "Conscious Uncoupling." 

With true stories and expert insights, host Laura Stassi continues her journalistic mission to uncover and share what it takes to make and keep new love connections in the later years of life.

An online encounter has Laura wondering: When it comes to older heterosexual dating, are women trying to school men? Weighing in are widower Steve, a feminist who bristles at traditional advice; and Kevin, who’s still feeling the sting of the gray divorce his wife initiated. 

When couples mix business and pleasure, can both their romantic and work partnerships survive and thrive? Laura talks with “accidental CEO” Allison, and home-building entrepreneur Karen. This episode sponsored by Edgespace. 

With five committed relationships in 20 years, the apps are panning out for listener Jean. Plus, two former Dating While Gray guests randomly connect online and make a dinner date. Laura tags along and then uncovers what happened afterward. Was it a love hit … or a miss?

After counting up the romantic encounters she’s had this year, Laura asks older singles for their numbers. Tea spillers include Vinnie and Rachel; Kevin, who discovers three times is not the charm; and Allison, who widens her Zip code parameters.

A dating site profile question leads Laura to explore cannabis use among older daters. Dosages, smoking vs. ingesting, medical and bedroom benefits … listeners weigh in with their cautionary tales, tips, and true stories.

Shannon’s  back on the dating market, this time with the diagnosis of a gradually disabling disease. Patrice’s plans with her long-time partner are upended by a sudden health crisis. How do medical issues impact the love connections we find, and the ones we seek?

With five committed relationships in 20 years, the apps are panning out for listener Jean. Plus, two former Dating While Gray guests randomly connect online and make a dinner date. Laura tags along and then uncovers what happened afterward. Was it a love hit … or a miss?

After counting up the romantic encounters she’s had this year, Laura asks older singles for their numbers. Tea spillers include Vinnie and Rachel; Kevin, who discovers three times is not the charm; and Allison, who widens her Zip code parameters.

On this final episode of our Golden Bachelor recap episode of The Waves, Gerry’s makes his decision but maybe loses the audience along the way. 

Podcast production by Brandon Nix and Cheyna Roth with editorial oversight by Daisy Rosario and Alicia Montgomery.

Send your comments and recommendations on what to cover to thewaves@slate.com.

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Laura talks with Shawn Leamon, a financial expert who usually explores money from an uncoupling point of view. Shawn offers tips and advice to Laura's other guests: Ginny, who's been so financially burned that she literally can't afford to be vulnerable; Sue, who's finding trouble meeting someone whom she considers her financial equal; and Barry, who blames his debt-free but modest lifestyle for his lackluster love life.

A dating site profile question leads Laura to explore cannabis use among older daters. Dosages, smoking vs. ingesting, medical and bedroom benefits … listeners weigh in with their cautionary tales, tips, and true stories.

Laura talks with legendary women's college basketball coach Elaine Elliott, whose commitment to her partner endures long after the romance is over. Then, Norm and Jeanne share the story of how they’ve built a solid partnership without mentioning the "C" word. Finally, Laura sits down with public radio icon Diane Rehm, who puts her own modern spin on a traditional choice. (From April 2020)