Explore every episode of the podcast Dates, Mates and Babies with the Vallottons
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 152. God's Design for Marriage That Works: Part 2 | 04 Nov 2026 | 00:29:07 | |
Lonely marriages rarely begin with a major betrayal. More often, they develop through subtle patterns of disconnection. He pours his best energy into work, she carries the responsibility for connection, and both slowly stop feeling safe, seen, and known. So how do couples course correct when these patterns have become normal and trust has already worn thin? In Part 2 of their conversation on God's design for marriage, Jason and Lauren Vallotton unpack Ephesians 5 and explore what biblical leadership, submission, and sacrificial love actually look like in everyday marriage. They discuss a husband's responsibility to nurture and cherish his wife, creating an environment of emotional safety, partnership, and trust rather than control or passivity. They also get practical about the growing demands of marriage, from parenting and finances to communication and conflict resolution. When a husband lacks the emotional tools to navigate these pressures, work can become a place of escape while his wife carries an increasingly heavy relational load. Jason and Lauren address the unhealthy "mom and son" dynamic that can develop and how couples can begin rebuilding a healthy partnership. This honest, hope-filled conversation offers practical insight for couples who want to break unhealthy patterns, restore connection, and build a marriage where both partners feel supported and valued. Subscribe to Dates, Mates & Babies with the Vallottons for more conversations on dating, marriage, and parenting. Share this episode with someone who could use encouragement, and leave a review to help others discover the podcast. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 151. God’s Design For Marriage That Works: Part 1 | 28 Oct 2026 | 00:29:42 | |
Mystery gets marketed as romance, but what if it’s actually the thing exhausting a relationship? In this episode, hosts Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore marriage advice that goes beyond surface-level communication tips and gets into something more foundational: God’s design for marriage and the roles that create emotional safety. When couples are hurting, they often want to debate who’s right and who’s wrong. Jason and Lauren start somewhere else: understanding what the marriage is built on. Together, they unpack the core needs they see again and again, especially for wives: feeling safe, seen, and known. They discuss why clarity in dating matters, how steady pursuit builds trust, and why unpredictability at home can leave a woman feeling guarded. From hormones to household rhythms, they explore emotional safety as a practical foundation for intimacy, connection, and a home that feels warm instead of tense. They also discuss how a healthy, present father can support a mother’s well-being and help shape a healthier family culture. Jason and Lauren then address a drift that affects many couples: after marriage, a man “wins” the relationship and shifts his focus toward work success, leaving his wife carrying the emotional load for the marriage and the kids. They explore how this shift can fuel resentment, undermine respect and safety, and leave both spouses disconnected. Whether listeners are dating, married, or rebuilding trust, this conversation offers an invitation to bring greater intention to the foundation of their relationship. Subscribe for more conversations on relational health, share this episode with a friend who cares about marriage, and leave a review to help more couples find the show. A question to consider this week: What’s one small way to bring more clarity and safety into the home? Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 150. “The Idol Of Ideal” with Lauren at Bethel Church’s Life with Littles | 21 Oct 2026 | 00:53:26 | |
The most dangerous expectations are the ones that look holy, harmless, and “just motivating” until real life hits. We sit down with a message Lauren shares with a room full of moms and put language to a pain so many of us carry: the gap between the motherhood we imagined and the motherhood we are actually living. She calls it the idol of ideal, and it shows up when a good dream quietly becomes the thing we need in order to feel safe, steady, and okay. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 149. How to Handle Disappointment Without Becoming Bitter | 14 Oct 2026 | 00:22:46 | |
What happens when life doesn't turn out the way you imagined? How do you navigate disappointment without allowing it to turn into bitterness, resentment, or hopelessness? In this episode of Dates, Mates & Babies, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore the gap between expectation and reality—and why it's possible to be genuinely grateful for your life while still grieving parts of it. Together, they unpack how unprocessed disappointment impacts marriage, parenting, and relationships, and share practical ways to move forward with emotional health and renewed hope. In this episode, Jason and Lauren discuss:
The takeaway: You can grieve the life you thought you'd have without missing the beauty of the life you're living. Lauren's new memoir, Past the Picket Fence, explores these themes of dreaming, becoming, and letting go. Available now on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 148. Well… We’re Back. And Lauren Wrote a Book. | 28 Sep 2026 | 00:19:31 | |
It’s been a minute. 😂 After a few months away from the podcast, Jason and Lauren Vallotton are back behind the microphones—and there was no way they were going to let this week pass without recording an episode. Because Lauren wrote a book. 😭 Past the Picket Fence: A Memoir for Life in the Messy Middle released Tuesday, September 29, 2026. In this episode, Jason and Lauren talk about how a book Lauren dreamed about writing for years finally became real, what the process has looked like behind the scenes, and why the story ultimately became about something much bigger than accomplishing a dream. Longtime Dates, Mates & Babies listeners will recognize pieces of the story: marriage, becoming a stepmom, infertility and waiting, babies, losing Lauren’s mom, changing expectations, faith, surrender, and learning to trust God when life doesn’t follow the plan. At its heart, Past the Picket Fence is for anyone learning to love the life they’re actually living without pretending they never wanted the one they pictured. Jason and Lauren also talk about what it has been like to bring such a personal story into the world, why launch day matters especially for an independently published book, and how listeners can help send it out. Past the Picket Fence released September 29, 2026. Grab your copy here! Follow Lauren on Instagram: @lvallotton More soon! Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 147. Preparing for Marriage, Not Just a Wedding | 03 Jun 2026 | 00:31:33 | |
Getting engaged is exciting, but a healthy marriage starts long before the wedding day. In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton unpack the conversations, decisions, and preparations that can help couples build a strong foundation before saying “I do.” From navigating family dynamics and wedding planning stress to discussing sex, finances, faith, and expectations, they share practical wisdom for engaged couples and the people who love them. They explore why community input matters, how premarital counseling can uncover blind spots, and why competency—not just chemistry—is essential for building a thriving marriage. They also discuss the importance of developing the emotional, spiritual, and practical capacity needed to carry the weight of the life you’re asking God to give you. Whether you’re engaged, dating seriously, or supporting someone who is, this episode offers helpful guidance for preparing for a marriage that’s built to last. In this episode: If you know someone who is engaged or preparing for marriage, send them this episode. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 146. Building a Life You Love Before Marriage with McKenzie Gibson | 06 May 2026 | 00:30:09 | |
Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with their friend McKenzie Gibson, a labor and delivery nurse, to talk about something that doesn’t get discussed nearly enough: how to prepare not just for marriage, but for a full and meaningful life. In a culture that often treats singleness like a waiting room, McKenzie shares how she’s built a life marked by deep friendship, intentionality, hospitality, and purpose through her 20s and 30s. The conversation dives into the realities of burnout, nervous system overload, and the emotional toll of high-intensity work. McKenzie opens up about recognizing her limits, stepping into a sabbatical season, and why rest can sometimes be one of the wisest choices we make rather than a sign of failure. Together, they explore the importance of building rhythms that sustain your mental, emotional, and spiritual health long before marriage or parenting enters the picture. Jason, Lauren, and McKenzie also unpack the challenges many single adults feel inside marriage-centered communities and how to resist shrinking yourself while waiting for the next season. They talk about friendship as a calling, learning through proximity to healthy families, the power of intergenerational relationships, and why true hospitality is more about making room for people than creating a perfect environment. In this episode: Whether you’re single, dating, married, parenting, or somewhere in between, this conversation offers practical wisdom for building a life filled with healthy relationships, purpose, and connection. Share this episode with a friend, leave a review if it encouraged you, and let us know: what part of building a life you love feels hardest right now? Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 145. Confrontation That Builds Trust: How to Handle Conflict Without Creating Fear | 22 Apr 2026 | 00:34:16 | |
Episode Summary: Through honest conversation and practical tools, Jason and Lauren unpack what confrontation actually is, why it feels so intimidating, and how learning to tell the truth with care can strengthen trust in marriage, parenting, friendships, and leadership. This episode is both a mindset shift and a how-to guide for navigating conflict in a way that leads to connection instead of division. In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
Key Takeaway: Join the Conversation: If you have topics you’d like Jason and Lauren to cover, or questions for an upcoming Q&A episode, you can email them at datesmatesbabies@gmail.com ! Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 144. The Messy Middle (Part 4): Letting Go — The Practice of Surrender | 01 Apr 2026 | 00:30:07 | |
In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore how real maturity isn’t about getting more of what you want, but learning to loosen your grip. From parenting and marriage to grief and becoming grandparents, they unpack how surrender shapes relational health, heals fear, and builds a legacy that lasts. Because at some point, growth looks less like striving… and more like letting go. In this episode, the Vallotton's talk about:
At the end of the day, surrender isn’t about losing your life—it’s about becoming someone who can love well, live freely, and leave something meaningful behind. Closing question: Resources: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 143. The Messy Middle (Part 3): Becoming — Growing the Capacity Your Dream Requires | 18 Mar 2026 | 00:21:08 | |
In the last episode of Dates, Mates & Babies, Jason and Lauren talked about honoring the one who dared to dream. But dreaming is only the beginning. In this episode, they explore the next phase of the journey: becoming. The dream isn’t usually the problem—and the delay isn’t punishment. Often, the space between dreaming and fulfillment is where the real work happens. As Lauren says, “God cares less about giving you the dream quickly than forming you to carry it well.” Jason and Lauren discuss the gap between desire and capacity—how desire reveals what we want, but capacity determines what we can actually sustain. From marriage to motherhood to calling, many of the things we long for require emotional, relational, and spiritual maturity that takes time to develop. They unpack what becoming actually looks like in real life: conflict that exposes ego, responsibility that reveals control issues, feedback that surfaces insecurity, and hidden seasons where faithfulness grows without applause. As Jason shares, true maturity isn’t just about achievement—it’s about emotional regulation, humility, and consistency. The conversation also addresses common lies we believe during seasons of growth: that we’re behind, that detours mean we missed it, or that if something were meant to be it would come easily. Instead, Jason and Lauren invite listeners to see these seasons as intentional formation, not failure. They close with practical ways to build capacity—growing emotional resilience, staying faithful in hidden seasons, taking ownership of personal triggers, and learning to do small things consistently over time. Because becoming isn’t about striving to be impressive. It’s about growing sturdy enough to carry the life you once dreamed about. Resources: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 142. The Messy Middle (Part 2): Dreaming — When Expectations Shape You | 25 Feb 2026 | 00:22:36 | |
Last week, Jason and Lauren named the disorientation so many women feel in their 30s — when life doesn’t look the way they imagined. This week, they gently trace the story back to where it began. Before there was disappointment… there was dreaming. Lauren reminds listeners that those early dreams weren’t foolish — they were sincere. They mattered. Instead of shaming the younger version of ourselves, maybe we honor her and ask what she was really longing for. In this episode, Jason and Lauren explore:
You’ll walk away with practical tools to hold vision without clinging:
This episode is tender, grounding, and hopeful — a reminder that the dreaming phase wasn’t wasted. It was forming you. Maybe your dream didn’t die. Maybe it grew up. Resources: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 141. The Messy Middle (Part 1): When Life Doesn’t Go As Planned | 18 Feb 2026 | 00:23:16 | |
In this deeply honest episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk about the quiet disorientation that can surface in your 30s — especially when life doesn’t look the way you thought it would. They open with a vulnerable admission: you can have the life you once prayed for… and still feel unsettled inside it. Lauren shares how her 30s revealed something unexpected — it wasn’t that she needed a better plan. She needed a different version of herself. Together, they explore how what feels like breakdown is often actually recalibration. This episode is for the woman who has checked the boxes, carried responsibility well, made thoughtful decisions… and still feels like something doesn’t quite fit. You are not failing. You are becoming. IN THIS EPISODE, THEY DISCUSS: The Disorientation No One Prepared You For | “This isn’t a breakdown. It’s a recalibration.” Jason and Lauren unpack the “picket fence” script many of us subconsciously follow — the belief that if we do X, life will look like Y. What happens when you do the right things… and it still doesn’t feel the way you expected? They talk about why this tension often surfaces in your 30s — when decisions carry weight, comparison gets louder, and responsibility leaves less room for fantasy. The Three Griefs Nobody Names | “Sometimes the pain isn’t your life… it’s the funeral of the life you expected.” Lauren gives language to three quiet griefs many women carry:
Together, they gently ask the question many women haven’t stopped long enough to consider: What are you grieving that you’ve been calling “just stress”? This conversation is tender, grounding, and full of hope. Because sometimes what feels like disorientation isn’t failure — it’s reorientation. And letting go of the dream life might be the very thing that makes room for a truer one. If this episode resonates, share it with a friend who’s navigating her own season of becoming. Resources: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 140. God's Plan for Forming Men | 11 Feb 2026 | 00:47:32 | |
This episode is a live recording of Jason Vallotton’s message at Bethel Church on November 30, 2025—a raw, clarifying teaching on God’s Plan for Forming Men, shared in the context of the upcoming BraveCo Rite of Passage Event in Jacksonville February 28, 2026. God has a blueprint for forming men who carry strength, humility, and responsibility into their homes, marriages, and work. That blueprint is both simple and demanding—formed, filled, and finished—and it unfolds through the stages of calling, testing, equipping, and commissioning. In this message, Jason unpacks why being made from dust matters, why being filled with the Spirit is non-negotiable, and why testing isn’t punishment but refinement. Marriage becomes a mirror. Work becomes a training ground. Feedback becomes the tool that confronts ego head-on. Equipping looks like delayed gratification—showing up when you don’t feel like it, choosing peace over pride, and learning to carry responsibility without collapsing under it. Commissioning comes when failure is no longer hidden, but redeemed into testimony that helps other men walk free. The turning point is mentorship. Jesus didn’t say, “Follow me and figure it out.” He said, “Follow me, and I will make you.” Jason brings this home through the powerful rite-of-passage story of Caleb, a young man born with club feet who completed a brutal course because a tribe refused to let him walk alone. This is the heart behind BraveCo: men formed in community, forged through challenge, and released with clarity and purpose. This episode is a call to movement—not theory. You’ll hear a practical vision for how men can get connected, equipped, challenged, and sent, and why identity is forged best in brotherhood. Great men aren’t born. They’re built—together. Next Steps
And we’d love to hear from you: Where are you in the journey—calling, testing, equipping, or commissioning? Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 139. How to Set Yourselves Up for 2026: Positioning Yourself to Win | 14 Jan 2026 | 00:22:25 | |
In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton invite listeners into a practical and intentional conversation about preparing for the year ahead. As 2026 approaches, they challenge couples and families to move beyond vague hopes and instead position themselves to win through clarity, reflection, and aligned action. This episode is about slowing down long enough to ask the right questions—and taking ownership of what truly matters. In This Episode: Key Questions Jason and Lauren Encourage Listeners to Ask: Episode Takeaway: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 138. 2025 Year End Podcast Update: Holiday Break, Big Dreams, New Year Plans | 07 Jan 2026 | 00:25:02 | |
As 2025 comes to a close, Jay and Lauren sit down to reflect on a full and meaningful year—both personally and professionally. From holiday time with family, to celebrating their daughter’s engagement, to the launch of Lauren’s book, and the powerful impact of the BraveCo Rite of Passage event in Florida, this episode is an honest year-end update. They also share what listeners can expect from the podcast in the new year—how their focus is evolving, what they’re excited to explore, and the kinds of conversations they feel most called to lead in the season ahead. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 137. Raising Sons into Men: The “Cop” Phase & Parenting Little Kids with Boundaries and Protrction | 03 Dec 2025 | 00:41:17 | |
This week’s episode is taken from the BraveCo podcast as the Vallotton’s believe the message is SO important for the Dates, Mates, & Babies audience too! From Jason on the BraveCo Podcast: THE BRAVECO RITE OF PASSAGE: https://www.braveco.org/riteofpassage Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 136. Q&A (Long-Distance Dating, Sexual Disconnection, Co-Parenting) | 13 Nov 2025 | 00:30:46 | |
In this Q&A episode, Lauren and Jason tackle four raw and relatable listener questions that hit at the heart of modern relationships — from rebuilding trust to navigating intimacy, distance, and co-parenting. In this episode, they discuss: 💔 When words cut deep: A wife is struggling to heal after learning her husband once fantasized about other women. Though he’s showing empathy and doing the work, she can’t shake the fear of abandonment. Lauren and Jay unpack how to rebuild safety after emotional betrayal and what healing looks like when your partner’s change feels real — but your heart still hurts. 🌍 Long-distance love: What does it take to make a relationship thrive when you’re miles apart? The Vallottons share their best tips for staying connected across distance — from setting rhythms of communication to keeping emotional intimacy alive (even when FaceTime freezes mid-sentence). 🔥 When sex becomes a struggle: He thinks more sex will fix the problem; she feels pressured and disconnected. Lauren and Jason explore how couples can move from obligation to connection, and why true intimacy starts with emotional safety, not frequency. 👩👦 Co-parenting with disrespect: A single mom is raising her son alongside a dad who doesn’t treat her with respect. She’s worried about what her son is learning from their dynamic. The Vallottons discuss how to model dignity, set boundaries, and protect your child’s sense of honor — even when the other parent won’t play fair. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 135. The Three C’s of Leading Your Family Well | 30 Oct 2025 | 00:26:54 | |
In this episode, Lauren and Jason sit down to talk about what it really looks like to lead your family well while carrying leadership responsibilities in ministry, business, and life. Whether you’re parenting toddlers or launching teens, this conversation will help you build a home that’s healthy, connected, and grounded in vision. They share what they learned from blending their family and why the long game of parenting matters so much. Together, the Vallottons unpack the Three C’s that have shaped their own family: 1️⃣ Culture — Build belonging through identity. Every family has a culture. Are you building yours on purpose? Learn how to establish a shared language that gives your kids identity and belonging. 2️⃣ Consistency — Play the long game. Family is formed through repetition, not reaction. Discover how small, faithful rhythms create stability and character over time — even when you can’t see the fruit yet. 3️⃣ Capacity — Lead from health, not hustle. Your home doesn’t need your title; it needs your presence. Jason and Lauren share how they’ve learned to create space for rest, connection, and emotional honesty so their home stays full of life — not burnout. Enjoy! Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 134. Blending Families: Grieving What You Thought It Would Be | 09 Oct 2025 | 00:30:22 | |
Blending a family isn’t just about making schedules work or learning each other’s habits. It’s about entering into an already-formed culture — one that existed before you. For the stepparent, that often means grieving what you imagined family life would look like, while choosing to restrain yourself from immediately reshaping the environment into “yours.” In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton talk candidly about:
If you’re in the thick of a blended family dynamic, you are not crazy and you are not alone. Healing, belonging, and love can grow in the middle of the mess — but it takes time, patience, and a lot of grace. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 133. Welcoming Our First Grandbaby! | 17 Sep 2025 | 00:32:07 | |
Jason and Lauren have big news to share—their first grandbaby has arrived! 🎉 In this special family update episode, they reflect on the joy of this new season, the surprises of grandparenting while still raising their own 5- and 3-year-old, and what it means to live out relational health across generations. Together, they unpack:
The Vallottons remind listeners that family is never static—it’s always growing and reshaping. Whether you’re raising littles, sending teens into the world, or welcoming grandkids, relational health comes down to connection, presence, and legacy. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 132. What We Think About Separation in Marriage | 17 Sep 2025 | 00:27:07 | |
What do you do when staying in your marriage feels unsafe, but separation feels like it might be the end of everything you hoped for? Separation is one of the most raw and tender topics couples face—and for many, it carries fear, shame, and deep confusion. In this episode, pastors and coaches Jason and Lauren Vallotton respond to two courageous listener questions about separation in marriage. With compassion and faith-filled honesty, they explore how to discern when separation is a protective step, what questions to ask in the midst of uncertainty, and how to hold covenant and safety together without feeling trapped by either. They discuss:
Jason and Lauren remind listeners that separation is not the end of the story. If you’re walking through a season of uncertainty or pain in your marriage, this episode will bring perspective, permission, and pastoral care. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 131. When His Battle Becomes Your Self-Hatred | 04 Sep 2025 | 00:23:04 | |
What do you do when your husband’s porn struggle becomes a story you tell about yourself—about not being pretty enough, skinny enough, or desirable enough? For so many women, his brokenness becomes her self-hatred. But it doesn’t have to stay that way. In this powerful episode, pastors and coaches Jason and Lauren Vallotton share hope and healing for women who are carrying shame that was never theirs to hold. With compassion and clarity, they unpack why porn is not about a wife’s worth, how self-hatred lies to keep women isolated, and what tools actually help rebuild connection and restore identity. Together, they walk through:
If you’ve ever felt the sting of comparison or the weight of carrying your spouse’s struggle, this episode is a reminder: you’re not broken, you’re not too much, and your story doesn’t end in shame. Healing is possible—for your marriage, yes, but even more importantly, for you. Resources: Shasta Blue Sky Addiction & Trauma Recovery Services 75. What to do in Marriage Emergencies Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 130. How to Handle the Disorientation of a New Season | 27 Aug 2025 | 00:21:11 | |
Every new season brings change—and with it, a sense of disorientation. As human beings, we’re wired for stability and rhythm, so even good change can feel uncomfortable at first. The question isn’t whether change will shake us, but how we walk through it without losing our footing. In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton share practical wisdom for navigating transitions with grace, humor, and hope. From their own stories of job changes and parenting milestones, they remind us that adjustment takes time (sometimes at least two weeks!), and that flexibility is key when fear tempts us to tighten up. They explore:
If you’ve ever felt unsettled in the face of change, this conversation will remind you: disorientation is temporary, and you don’t have to walk through it alone. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 129. When Marriage Counseling Doesn't Work | 20 Aug 2025 | 00:35:28 | |
Counseling is incredibly valuable. Jason and Lauren are huge proponents of marriage counseling, coaching and investing in marriage in a way that invites outside input from experts who can give great feedback to help couples grow in their connection. But it’s so common for couples to spend years in sessions and workshops and retreats without ever experiencing lasting breakthrough. Why? Because no matter how good the tools are, they don’t work if certain foundations aren’t in place. In this episode, pastors and coaches Jason and Lauren Vallotton unpack some of the hidden reasons couples stay stuck—even with professional help—and how to create the kind of environment where real change is possible. They explore:
This conversation offers fresh perspective and practical guidance for anyone longing for deeper transformation in their marriage. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 128. The Long Game: Raising Children with Vision for Adulthood | 06 Aug 2025 | 00:31:42 | |
In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Jason and Lauren share wisdom from their unique experience raising both adult children and toddlers. Drawing from years of hands-on parenting, they dive into the intentional strategies that shape children into healthy, resilient adults—especially in a world that's vastly different from the one they grew up in. Topics covered include:
Whether you're in the toddler trenches or navigating teenage independence, this conversation offers practical tools and timeless vision for parenting with the end in mind. 👉 If this episode encouraged you, share it with a fellow parent and leave a review to help others find our show! Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 127. A Day in the Life, #2 (A peek into a big disconnection in the Vallottons' marriage!) | 30 Jul 2025 | 00:32:36 | |
This episode is a vulnerable look into a recent real-life disconnection in the Vallotton's marriage! Every relationship experiences disconnection, but what matters is how we navigate back to each other. Hosts Jason and Lauren Vallotton share a recent experience where two weeks of limited quality time left them functioning as roommates rather than romantic partners. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 126. Dating Someone with a Past Marriage and Kids | 24 Jul 2025 | 00:34:36 | |
Can love still feel new when someone has already been married and had children with someone else? In this vulnerable episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton respond to a heartfelt question from a listener navigating the early stages of dating a divorced man with kids. Together, they unpack the very real fears, griefs, and hopes that can rise up in blended beginnings. Whether you're walking this journey yourself or supporting someone who is, this episode offers practical wisdom, personal insight, and gentle clarity around some of the most tender questions:
Jason and Lauren speak from personal experience and pastoral wisdom to offer encouragement, grounded perspective, and honest dialogue about grief, hope, and choosing love in real life—not in the fantasy. Because healing doesn’t mean the past never happened—it means the past no longer holds the pen. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 125. From Chaos to Clarity: How Couples Get Their Marriage Back on Track | 16 Jul 2025 | 00:26:17 | |
If your marriage feels chaotic, disconnected, or directionless… you’re not alone. In this episode, Jason and Lauren tackle what it looks like when couples are stuck in survival mode—no calendar, no plan, and no unity—and how to get back on the same team.
Key questions to ask together:
Don’t let the chaos run the show. Step into leadership together—one week, one goal, one shared step at a time. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 124. Leading with Love: Dr. Henry Cloud on What It Really Means to Be a Godly Husband | 09 Jul 2025 | 00:54:07 | |
What does it actually mean to lead your home like a man of God—and why does emotional connection matter just as much as spiritual authority? In this episode of Dates, Mates & Babies, Jason Vallotton sits down with the legendary Dr. Henry Cloud, bestselling author of Boundaries, to unpack the kind of leadership that builds trust, safety, and lasting love. From marriage and fatherhood to communication and connection, this conversation is packed with wisdom for men and women alike. Dr. Cloud shares a powerful framework for building a strong home: start with connection, then add boundaries, protection, and healthy communication. Whether you're a man wondering how to lead with both strength and compassion—or a woman longing for safety and partnership—this episode will give you language, hope, and tools to create the kind of marriage that thrives. Topics We Cover:
Whether you're single, dating, married, or parenting together—this episode will help you reimagine leadership in a way that builds legacy. Connect with Dr. Henry Cloud: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 123. Beyond Statistics: A Story of Choosing Life in the Face of Crisis & Diagnosis | 25 Jun 2025 | 00:29:36 | |
In this powerful episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies, Jason and Lauren Vallotton welcome two courageous women: Kirsten Lapp, Executive Director of Northstate Care Clinic, and Lauren Hodgson, a mother of four who walked through an unexpected pregnancy and found hope in the face of overwhelming pressure. This is the second part to a conversation that began in episode 122. When Lauren discovered she was pregnant with her fourth child, it came as a complete shock. That shock deepened when she learned her baby had Down syndrome. Surrounded by doctors quoting grim statistics and suggesting termination, Lauren found herself in a vulnerable and isolating place—until she connected with Northstate Care Clinic. There, she encountered something radically different: compassion, clarity, and care. All offered freely, without pressure. Now, 18 months later, Lauren’s daughter Millie is a joyful, thriving little girl. In this deeply honest conversation, the hosts explore the realities women face during a crisis pregnancy, the unique challenges of raising a child with special needs, and the profound impact of having a supportive community. This episode covers:
Jason and Lauren share that they are contributing to this campaign and invite their listeners to join them in funding a place of real hope for women in Northern California. To learn more or to give, visit: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 122. A Conversation on Crisis Pregnancy with Kirsten Lapp of Northstate Care Clinic | 11 Jun 2025 | 00:29:16 | |
In this powerful episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton sit down with Kirsten Lapp, Executive Director of Northstate Care Clinic, to unpack the emotional, spiritual, and practical realities surrounding crisis pregnancy. With empathy and clarity, Kirsten shares what women are really facing in these moments—and how we can all play a part in offering hope. In this episode, they discuss:
Jason and Lauren also share that JVM is contributing $1,000 to help make this dream a reality—and they invite listeners to partner with them in this mission. To support the building campaign, learn more, or refer someone in need: Visit friendsofnscc.org ! “We believe every woman deserves to be seen, supported, and strengthened—especially when the stakes feel highest.” Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 121. When Yes Means No: The High Cost of Self-Betrayal | 04 Jun 2025 | 00:38:46 | |
In this powerful episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore the quiet, often unnoticed habit of self-betrayal—the moments when we say “yes” to others while saying “no” to ourselves. Whether it's to avoid conflict, gain approval, or protect a fragile connection, self-abandonment can masquerade as kindness while silently eroding trust, peace, and authenticity. Jason and Lauren unpack the mindsets that often drive this behavior—like the belief that it's selfish to have needs, or that disappointing others is dangerous. With wisdom, compassion, and real-life stories, they offer a roadmap back to honest boundaries, emotional integrity, and deeper connection with both self and others. In This Episode, They Discuss:
Reflection Questions:
Listen in and be reminded: You don’t have to disappear to be loved. Wholeness begins where self-betrayal ends. BraveCo Conference Registration - here BraceCo Gala Registration - here Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 120. Q&A (Breakups, Second Marriages & the Biblical Role of a Man) | 21 May 2025 | 00:31:26 | |
In this honest and heartfelt Q&A episode, Jason and Lauren answer your real relationship questions—from navigating breakups to leading well in marriage. Whether you're dating, newly married, or wrestling with relational roles, this episode will give you insight, encouragement, and a few powerful reframes. 🔹 What does it mean for a man to promote his wife? 🔹 "How do I do a breakup well?" 🔹 "Can Lauren talk about being someone’s second wife?" 🔹 "My wife is controlling... how do I lead biblically?" 🔹 "We’re on a break… how do I move forward?" Related resources to check out:
👉 Whether you're dating, married, or leading your family, this episode will help you dig deeper, ask better questions, and grow into the man or woman you’re called to be. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 119. The Soul of the Home: A Conversation on Motherhood | 14 May 2025 | 00:25:07 | |
“Most of the world is built on the invisible labor of mothers.” In this heartfelt episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton turn their attention to the sacred, unseen work of motherhood. Picking up where their recent Fatherhood episode left off, they dive into the beauty, burden, and spiritual authority of moms—the ones who so often hold the soul of the home together. This isn’t a conversation about Pinterest lunches or parenting perfection. It’s an honest look at the emotional, mental, and spiritual load that mothers carry, and the divine calling woven into every unnoticed act of love. In this episode, they explore:
With raw vulnerability and deep encouragement, Jason and Lauren remind moms everywhere: You’re not just holding it all together. You’re building something eternal. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 118. The Role of a Man & the Rite of Passage Our Sons Are Missing | 07 May 2025 | 00:33:09 | |
In this powerful conversation, Jason and Lauren Vallotton unpack one of the deepest needs of our time: the restoration of godly masculinity. Drawing from personal stories, biblical wisdom, and their experience walking with men and families, they explore why a man’s role in the home matters more than ever—and how the next generation is suffering without clear markers of maturity and initiation. Whether you're a father, mentor, or just a man asking deeper questions about your purpose, this episode will stir your spirit and point you toward courageous leadership. It’s also an invitation to join the movement at this year’s BraveCo Conference, where men are being called up, healed, and commissioned. In This Episode:
Join the Movement: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 117. Emotionally Healthy Church Leadership | 30 Apr 2025 | 00:25:52 | |
"Your gifts might open doors in ministry, but your emotional health and family life will determine how long you can stay in the room." In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton dive into the crucial (and often overlooked) connection between emotional health, family life, and sustainable ministry. Ministry isn’t just about being gifted—it’s about being grounded. Whether you're a pastor, leader, or someone pursuing a call to serve, this conversation offers a timely reminder: who you are behind closed doors matters more than what you can do on stage. 💛 Part 1: Emotional Health in Ministry
🏠 Part 2: Family Health in Ministry
Whether you're just stepping into ministry or you've been leading for years, this episode offers practical wisdom and vulnerable insight into what it really takes to lead with longevity and wholeness. 📣 Mentioned in this episode: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 116. How to Connect When it Hurts | 24 Apr 2025 | 00:32:47 | |
"Most people want to reconnect with their spouse—but they don’t know how to hit the mark when emotions are high. They either get defensive, spiral into shame, or shut down. Today, I want to help you learn how to truly connect when it matters most—especially when there’s pain involved." This episode explores:
Final encouragements:
This episode offers practical steps and real-life insight for any couple looking to reconnect—especially when it matters most. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 115. Q&A (Dating with Kids, Conflict in Marriage, Divorce, Newborn Season Tips, Emotional Needs in Marriage) | 16 Apr 2025 | 00:40:18 | |
In this vulnerable and practical Q&A episode, Jason and Lauren tackle some of your most heartfelt questions—from dating dynamics and stepparenting to conflict in marriage and unmet emotional needs. With their trademark honesty and experience, they unpack the real stuff of relationships: fear, longing, love, and how to keep showing up even when it’s hard. In this episode, the Vallottons respond to questions like:
From practical tools to spiritual insight, this episode is full of compassionate, grounded advice for anyone trying to navigate love in a complicated world. Whether you’re in the trenches of parenting, learning to love through pain, or just trying to figure out what’s next—this one’s for you. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 114. What Happens When a Woman is Forced into Fight or Flight Mode | 09 Apr 2025 | 00:37:15 | |
“She never wanted to fight her husband. But somewhere along the way, she stopped feeling safe—and started showing up in survival mode.” In this episode, Jason and Lauren unpack the emotional toll disconnection takes on a woman, especially when she's forced to lead, manage, and defend in her relationship. They explore what masculine energy looks like in a woman, why it’s often a trauma response—not rebellion—and how emotional safety (not control) is the key to restoring connection. You’ll hear:
Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 113. Spring Cleaning for the Soul | 03 Apr 2025 | 00:29:22 | |
Spring cleaning isn't just for your closet—what about the things we’ve been carrying in our hearts, homes, and relationships that need a reset? In this episode, Jason and Lauren take the idea of spring cleaning beyond junk drawers and cluttered cabinets and dive deep into the unseen spaces of our emotional, relational, and spiritual lives. From the bathroom cabinet that hasn’t been cleaned out in a year to the mental tabs we’ve left open way too long, they explore what it looks like to make space for peace, connection, and growth in every area. What You’ll Hear:
💞 Relationship Reset
🙏 Spiritual Alignment
🧹 A Fresh Start
Plus, a gentle nudge to revisit those New Year’s goals with fresh eyes and grace. Takeaway Question: Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 112. Rethinking Education with Dr. Tyler Thigpen | 27 Mar 2025 | 01:02:10 | |
The public school system is broken. Too many kids feel left behind, uninspired, and stuck in a one-size-fits-all model that doesn’t prepare them for real life—or real relationships. As a dad and leader, Jason believes we need a radical shift. That’s why he sat down with Dr. Tyler Thigpen, an education innovator, to explore a new approach—one that fosters independence, critical thinking, and emotional intelligence. In this episode, Jason and Tyler unpack why the system is failing, what’s working in learner-centered models, and how parents can take the lead. These new environments don’t just teach facts—they shape identity, build resilience, and equip kids for healthy, whole lives. If you care about how your kids are learning and growing, this episode is for you. Let’s raise a generation ready for both life and love. More about Dr. Thigpen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thigpentyler/ Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 111. Preparing to Launch: Equipping Your High Schooler for Adulthood | 19 Mar 2025 | 00:45:37 | |
Preparing teenagers for adulthood might be the most crucial—and challenging—phase of parenthood. In this candid conversation, The Vallottons explore the essential transition from raising dependent children to launching capable, confident adults. When parents focus solely on creating a fun and carefree childhood, they risk raising young adults unprepared for real responsibilities. Drawing from their experiences launching three young adults (now 25, 22, and 20) while still raising younger children, Jason and Lauren share both their successes and the lessons they’ve learned through missteps. The key insight? Start early. Children who learn to contribute to family life from a young age develop a sense of capability that serves them well into adulthood. But for those who realize they’ve started later than ideal, Jason and Lauren offer practical strategies for reframing expectations with teenagers—positioning them not as arbitrary rules, but as essential preparation for their future independence. This episode includes real-life examples from their own family, including the transformative story of their son who chose to move out one week before high school graduation. Rather than creating distance, this experience strengthened their relationship as he gained a newfound appreciation for the guidance he had once resisted. The conversation also delves into the different approaches needed for raising sons versus daughters, teaching emotional regulation, and establishing standards for family interactions. Ultimately, successful parenting isn’t measured by how much children enjoy their childhood, but by how confidently they navigate adulthood. Ready to shift your parenting approach from control to coaching? This episode provides the framework to help parents prepare their teenagers for a successful launch into independence. 💬 Join the conversation on Instagram: @jasonvallotton | @laurenvallotton Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 110. How Do I Know the Past in the Past? | 12 Mar 2025 | 00:36:44 | |
Everyone has a past, but when it comes to relationships, how can someone be sure it no longer has a hold on their present? Whether in dating or marriage, navigating past mistakes, previous relationships, or personal struggles can be complex. How much should be shared, and when does transparency build trust versus causing unnecessary pain? In this episode, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore the balance between honesty and wisdom, discussing when full disclosure is valuable and when it may not be helpful. They break down how to recognize genuine healing, build trust, and have important conversations about the past in a way that strengthens relationships rather than creates insecurity. Key Topics Discussed:
Whether preparing for marriage, working through past hurts, or striving to build a foundation of trust, this episode provides insight and practical tools for moving forward in a healthy way. Resources Mentioned:
For more conversations on relational health, subscribe to Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons and share this episode with someone who would benefit! Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 109. Q&A (Leaving and Cleaving, Communicating Intentions, Managing Emotions, Dating with Kids) | 05 Mar 2025 | 00:41:32 | |
In this insightful Q&A session, the Vallottons tackle questions submitted by listeners pertaining to marriage and friendship. Questions include: 1. When I really like someone I feel like I can't think straight anymore. When I’m around them and start to act differently, and I hate it. What's your advice on that? 2. What to do with a man who is confusing with his intentions even after asking for clarity. He's nice and respectful, but I'm still confused. 4. When is the right time in dating to ask someone if they want kids? Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 108. A New Era of Breakthrough: Lauren's Message at the 2025 Bethel Church Prophetic Conference | 26 Feb 2025 | 01:11:20 | |
Episode 108 is a special treat! In this episode, the Vallottons share a powerful message that Lauren preached on February 20, 2025, at the Bethel Church Prophetic Conference. Rooted in her personal journey of motherhood and the shifting landscape of 2025, Lauren believes this moment marks the dawn of a new era—one defined by breakthrough for followers of Christ. Drawing from the story of the Israelites’ journey to the Promised Land, Lauren unpacks how God invites us to trust, take risks, believe, hope, and contend for breakthrough—especially in the areas of our hearts where long-held desires have been waiting to be fulfilled. She closes with a time of prayer, declaring breakthrough over those present at the conference. As you listen, receive these prayers for yourself—may they bring impartation, inspiration, and deep encouragement. If you experience breakthrough after listening, the Vallottons would love to hear your testimony! Send them your story as they continue to celebrate and share what God is doing in this incredible community of listeners. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 107. The Power of Friendship: Strengthening Marriages and Families Through Intentional Connections | 17 Feb 2025 | 00:37:51 | |
In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Jason and Lauren Vallotton explore how friendships impact marriage, parenting, and relational health. While friendships often take a backseat to family life, they are crucial in shaping emotional well-being and offering support. As life gets busier with marriage and parenting, friendships are often neglected. However, research shows that maintaining strong friendships improves marital satisfaction and reduces parenting stress. Jason and Lauren discuss why intentional friendships matter and how to build a supportive community. Discussion Points:
Takeaways: Strong friendships are essential for thriving marriages and healthy families. Jason and Lauren encourage listeners to assess their friendships, invest in meaningful connections, and recognize their profound influence on every aspect of life. Tune in to this insightful conversation and learn how to strengthen your marriage and family life through intentional friendships! Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 106. Blending Well: Stories and Strategies for Blended Family Success | 12 Feb 2025 | 00:30:17 | |
Blending a family is both rewarding and challenging, requiring intentionality, patience, and a strong foundation. In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Lauren and Jason dive into the key strategies for creating a thriving blended family. They discuss the importance of building trust with stepchildren, emphasizing that the biological parent should take the lead in discipline while the stepparent focuses on connection. They explore how to find your lane—leaning into natural strengths to foster strong relationships with the kids. Common challenges in blended families are also addressed, including different parenting styles, loyalty conflicts, and emotional wounds from past relationships. Lauren and Jay break down how to navigate discipline and authority, ensuring unity between spouses without creating resentment. The conversation highlights the importance of setting realistic expectations, recognizing that blending takes time and requires a united front. They stress that prioritizing the marriage is essential—not only for the couple but for the entire family dynamic. When the marriage is strong, children feel secure and receive the stability they need. Finally, they tackle the complexities of co-parenting with ex-spouses, offering wisdom on handling interactions with grace and firm boundaries. Whether you’re newly blending a family or years into the journey, this episode provides practical tools to build trust, navigate challenges, and create a home where everyone can thrive. Tune in for an insightful and encouraging discussion! Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 105. The Questions We’re Too Scared to Ask, Part 2 | 05 Feb 2025 | 00:31:06 | |
Description: We’re talking about: Avoiding these questions won’t make them go away, but facing them can bring healing and clarity. 💡 Next Steps: 👉 Click here to sign up and take the first step. 🎧 Listen now and start the conversation that could change everything. Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 104. The Questions We’re Too Scared to Ask, Part 1 | 29 Jan 2025 | 00:36:35 | |
Description: Jason and Lauren dive into topics like: If you've ever felt afraid to voice your deepest relationship doubts, you’re not alone. These conversations could lead to real healing and change. 💡 Next Steps: True transformation takes intentional action. If you're ready to reconnect, heal, and build a resilient marriage, join our Restore & Renew 6-Week Intensive—a guided journey to help you and your partner rediscover joy and connection. 🎧 Listen now, then come back here week for Part 2! Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||
| 103. What Story Do You Want Your Kids to Tell About Love? | 22 Jan 2025 | 00:28:07 | |
In this episode of Dates, Mates, and Babies with the Vallottons, Lauren and Jason dive into one of the most profound questions parents face: What story do we want our kids to tell about love? Together, they unpack the meaning of true love, exploring how it can be demonstrated in everyday life and in relationships within the home. Topics Covered
What does authentic love look like in relationships and in marriage?
Love requires us to sacrifice and grow in areas that are costing the people we care for the most. Love says I lay things down that cause harm to those I care for the most. Why This Matters Takeaway Thought Introduces memoir, sends to Amazon for purchase. More about how our stories shared help us learn and grow. Patreon Past the Picket Fence | |||