“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31–32 NLT)
As the pop star Taylor Swift noted, “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.” You’ve probably encountered more than a few haters—that is, people filled with bitterness. We all have. The thing about bitter people is that they’re never content to keep their bitterness to themselves. They want to spread it around. The only exercise they get is jumping to conclusions and running others down.
When that bitterness comes from believers, it brings “sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit” (Ephesians 4:30 NLT). And that’s something we never want to do. That’s why the apostle Paul is quick to follow that verse with these words: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you” (verses 31–32 NLT).
You’ll notice that he uses the word all twice in that short passage. He leaves no room for exception. Whatever your cause is, whether it’s doctrinal, theological, political, or personal, if it makes you a mean, argumentative, malicious person, you’ve missed the point. You’re prioritizing the wrong thing.
We’re seeing churches splinter when they should be uniting because people have decided that if you’re not with us, you’re against us. People ask me, “Greg, where do you stand on these issues?” But if that’s your concern, you’re again missing the point. The issue is not where you stand on the issues. After all, people are entitled to their own opinions.
The real issue can be found in Jesus’ words in John 13:34–35: “So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples” (NLT).
That’s an incredibly high bar. Jesus didn’t love only those who agreed with Him on certain issues. He gave His life to save even the people who rejected, mocked, tortured, and crucified Him. And that’s the kind of love He calls us to show.
There’s the takeaway. Do whatever you do in love—not tearing others down, not weaponizing what you believe to destroy others. Our primary mission is sharing the gospel. That’s where our energies should be primarily channeled in our culture today.
Bitterness is often a symptom of a spiritual problem. When I see a person constantly lashing out, whatever their cause is, my first thought is that they need to get reconnected to the Lord. They need to get their priorities in order. They need to return to their first love.
Paul wrote, “Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NLT). Bitterness and resentment are part of our old life. Until we rid ourselves of them, we can’t experience all that God has in store for us in our new life.
Reflection Question: How can you promote unity when you encounter fellow believers who are struggling with bitterness?
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