Join the TEAM DADAWESOME prayer team and pray for 20-minutes this Saturtday morning:
Episode Summary::
One ordinary Tuesday in the summer of 2001, Jeff sold a $200 television to a couple in a minivan — and only found out afterward that they were worth $5.5 billion and ranked 57th on the Forbes list. His unawareness didn't change their wealth by a dollar. It only changed how he treated them. In this chapter from the DadAwesome book, Jeff makes the case that most dads are doing the same thing with their own identity: parenting from poverty while holding access to infinite resources, working to earn what's already been freely given.
TAKEAWAYS
- Your unawareness doesn't change your position. Not knowing who those customers were didn't subtract a dollar from their net worth — and forgetting you're God's son doesn't change that you are one. It only changes how you show up.
- The clipboard teaches conditional love. When affection gets tracked point by point, kids learn love is something they earn.
- Most of us carry that invisible scoreboard straight into adulthood and into our relationship with God.
- God set the scoreboard to infinity. Not a clipboard with changing numbers — a gymnasium scoreboard with the infinity symbol permanently displayed.
- You can't add to it with your wins or subtract from it with your failures. (It's why the DA logo looks the way it does.)
Employee mindset and son mindset produce two different fathers. One strives, fears mistakes, measures worth by performance, and competes for attention. The other rests, lives from security, measures worth by belonging, and celebrates other people's wins. - Position changes the daily stuff. Instead of managing behavior, you cultivate hearts. Instead of panicking about finances, you remember your Father owns everything. Instead of shame spirals, you experience conviction that leads to growth.
TEAM DADAWESOME SPONSORS:
Aleph Ventures — Twin Cities based, partnering with and supporting painting companies across the country to calibrate, deepen impact, and go further than they could alone. https://www.aleph-ventures.com/
TRACK CPA — Minnesota-based, nationwide tax, accounting, bookkeeping, and financial services. https://trackcpa.com/
QUOTES
"My ignorance of their position didn't change their actual wealth. It only affected how I interacted with them."
"Over time, that clipboard became a symbol of conditional love. I learned that affection was something I earned — point by point, performance by performance."
"My heavenly Father has set the scoreboard to infinity. It can't increase with my successes or decrease with my failures. I can't add to infinity. I can't subtract from it."
"We parent from poverty when we have access to infinite resources — striving for acceptance we already possess and working for approval that's already been given."
"You're not God's employee, you're His son. And sonship is where fatherhood begins."
Bonus — Jamie Winship: "Parenting is very much about the identity of the dad. The greatest gift you can give to your kids is the truth of who you are."
ACTION STEPS
1. Reflection
Name your clipboard. Every one of us has an area — points, grades, obedience, success, output — where we experienced conditional love. Name it, and name what pushed you toward living like an employee instead of an heir.
Do the two-column audit. Am I living like an employee, or like a loved son and heir? Scarcity or abundance? (Downloadable PDF in the show notes.)
Ask the two questions. Borrowed from Jamie Winship: sit alone with God, settle down, and ask, "What are the things I believe about myself that hurt me?" Name the disappointments, the failures, the places you feel like you're not enough. Then ask the follow-up: "Jesus, what do you say about me?"
2. Multiplication
Send a couple of texts. Invite other dads into episode 445 and grow a circle of men who are growing alongside you.
Join the prayer team. Team DadAwesome — 55 men — rides this Saturday to fuel fatherhood ministry. Give 20 minutes of prayer sometime Saturday morning, August 1st. Let's multiply in prayer.
3. Activation
Start tomorrow with a declaration. Before you check your phone, before your to-do list starts talking, answer whose you are — and say it out loud, don't just think it: "I am a loved son of God."
Remind your kids the scoreboard is set to infinity. Tell them, "I love you because you're mine," not because of what they accomplished. Try, "I'm so glad I get to be your dad. I'm so thankful you're my son."
Take the holy pause. When you feel a critique or a scorecard-based thought forming, catch it before it comes out. Notice the moments you'd communicate more love if they performed.
Ask your spouse. "Are there ways or times I communicate a lack of love because of a performance or a mistake?"
