Explore every episode of the podcast Cults to Consciousness
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Confessions of a Former ULTRA ORTHODOX Rabbi | 15 Apr 2026 | 01:00:09 | |
Shalom’s childhood and education were dominated by intense religious indoctrination. He attended a strict ultra-Orthodox school 365 days a year, where boys studied religious texts from early morning until late at night, with little secular education and frequent physical punishment from teachers. The rigid environment, lack of emotional support, and strict moral expectations led to anxiety, obsessive religious guilt, and deep internal conflict, particularly around sexuality and personal identity. The community’s teachings pushed him toward early marriage as a supposed solution to normal sexual urges and loneliness. He then became a Rabbi and eventually left it all behind. We discuss all the ways rigid patriarchy harms the men too and the consequences of strict gender roles void of choice. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch our initial interview with Shalom Watch our recent panel with 4 Former Ultra Orthodox women Find and support Shalom! Shalom’s podcast, Beyond Belief: Tales of Religious Exodus Instagram: @shalomshore Personal website: shalomshore.com Religion site: freidomfighter.com Hypnosis site: navyahypnosis.com Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| The Dark side of My ULTRA ORTHODOX Childhood in Jerusalem | 13 Apr 2026 | 01:22:33 | |
Shalom Shore grew up in a strict ultra-Orthodox Jewish environment in Jerusalem connected to the organization Aish HaTorah, dedicated to its mission of bringing secular Jews back to strict religious observance. As the oldest of nine children, Shalom grew up in a household that appeared ideal, but was marked by emotional neglect, financial stress, and a constant focus on religious outreach. Shalom’s childhood and education were dominated by intense religious indoctrination. He attended a strict ultra-Orthodox school 365 days a year, where boys studied religious texts from early morning until late at night, with little secular education and frequent physical punishment from teachers. The rigid environment, lack of emotional support, and strict moral expectations led to anxiety, obsessive religious guilt, and deep internal conflict, particularly around sexuality and personal identity. The community’s teachings pushed him toward early marriage as a supposed solution to normal sexual urges and loneliness. He then became a Rabbi and eventually left it all behind. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch our follow up LIVE with Shalom Watch our recent panel with 4 Former Ultra Orthodox women Find and support Shalom! Shalom’s podcast, Beyond Belief: Tales of Religious Exodus Instagram: @shalomshore Personal website: shalomshore.com Religion site: freidomfighter.com Hypnosis site: navyahypnosis.com Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Confronting My Polygamous Cult at a Funeral (ft. Amanda Rae Grant) | 23 Mar 2026 | 00:52:49 | |
Escaping a cult and finding peace on the outside is one thing, but what happens when you feel obligated or even required to go back into the same environment that harmed you for so long? Amanda Rae was born and raised in The Order, a polygamous offshoot of Mormonism known for its incestuous marriages. Barely an adult, she escaped and made it her mission to expose the Order while helping other members find their way out. However, a death in the family led her back into the belly of the beast, where she had been shunned and cut off, forced to face the people and places that left physical and emotional scars. Click here to watch on YouTube Find Amanda: YouTube: @TheAmandaRaeGrant IG: @amandaraegrant Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| The Dark Side of Jehovah’s Witnesses: My Husband Refused to Let Me DIE Despite Blood Doctrine | 28 Aug 2025 | 01:21:17 | |
As a 4th generation Jehovah’s Witness, Alissa Watson followed the path laid out before her and married young at a month past 19. Against the recommendation of the doomsday cult, she had chiIdren. During the birth of her first chiId, a pool of lost blood scared her husband into looking into the doctrine of blood transfusions being a punishable sin. Unwilling to lose the life of his wife or baby during the next delivery, he confessed to his wife that he would not be following the blood doctrine if it came down to it. Alissa agreed, but had no idea it had sent her husband down a slow and secret path of deconstruction, until she confronted him about his absence in the church. Research of rampant CSA coverups, a wishy-washy governing body leader under oath and more left her shocked. Their exit out of the religion was messy and hurtful, leaving behind their entire family who refused to even look at them due to the strict practice of shunning. Click here to watch on YouTube Why I Left the Jehovah's Witnesses: The Truth Behind My Exit Find Alissa on Social: YouTube: @athomewithalissa TikTok: @athomewithalissa Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code SHELISE at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/shelise Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:04:27 What it was like growing up as a Jehovah's Witness (pressures & disfellowshipping) 00:11:07 Why Alissa wanted to be homeschooled 00:13:16 Alissa meets her husband at 17 and doubles down on the religion 00:16:14 Dating as a Jehovah's Witness 00:18:33 The pressures of being a teenage girl having to get married 00:23:52 Alissa gets engaged, sins and thinks Satan is attacking her relationship 00:26:51 Jehovah's Witnesses discourage having chiIdren 00:30:43 The "no blood" rule causing a scare during birth 00:37:23 Alissa's husband starts secretly deconstructing 00:40:47 Was Alissa's husband filled with Satan?? 00:42:47 Why Alissa's testimony crumbled overnight 00:47:59 What it was like when Alissa and her family were shunned 00:57:31 Setting boundaries and making mental health a priority 01:06:09 Why Alissa decided to start speaking out on social media 01:14:53 How Alissa's life has changed for the better 01:18:34 Linda, Listen 01:20:40 Find and support Alissa! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| How THIS Jehovah’s Witnesses Leader Aligned with Hitler in WWII ft. Owen Morgan Telltale | 27 Aug 2025 | 01:15:26 | |
During WWII the horrific extermination of religious and ethnic groups forced people to denounce their faith and hail Hitler for their own survival. Owen Morgan, former JW and successful YouTuber @OwenMorganTelltale dove into the rabbit hole to extensively research the position and stories of the JW people at the time. He explains how Joseph Franklin Rutherford, the second leader of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, made an attempt to align with the Nazi regime to maintain freedom of worship. However, he took things a step further, actively harming the witnesses and taking the religion in a cultic direction. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch our initial interview with Owen: The Extremely Isolated Life of Growing Up Jehovah's Witness Find Owen on Social Media: YT: https://www.youtube.com/@OwenMorganTelltale Website: www.owenmorgan.com Book: Was Hitler an Atheist? Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter marks: 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:09 Owen's motivation for researching the N*zi's treatment of Jehovah's Witnesses during World War II 00:04:26 Owen's reasons for leaving the church 00:06:36 German Christian national*sm and H*tler's connection to the Jehovah's Witnesses 00:10:53 Rutherford's letter to H*tler 00:12:10 JW's support of N*zism vs the well known rule of no politics 00:15:44 Frank's story as a JW in N*zi Germany 00:21:24 Paul Balzereit's story 00:23:40 How JW's were forced into signing the declaration to H*tler 00:25:35 How Rutherford came into leadership and the changes he brought 00:31:51 Why Rutherford released the statement and the resiliency of JW members 00:37:44 Corruption in leadership of Jehovah's Witnesses vs Mormonism 00:41:15 Rac*sm in the Jehovah's Witness religion and Mormonism 00:44:46 Different schisms of Jehovah's Witnesses and their similarities with the main group 00:48:17 Word of wisdom hot drinks vs caffeine debate in Mormonism 00:51:44 How and why trivial religious rules and how they can dictate people's entire lives 00:57:21 Other recent changes to the religion 01:00:05 Financial holdings and corruption in the JW religion 01:07:17 Guilt and being a good person as a Jehovah's Witness 01:13:03 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| The Jehovah’s Witnesses Stole My Family (ft. Stop the Shunning) | 26 Aug 2025 | 01:01:00 | |
Bethany was raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses, only to realize she had been part of a cult for thirty years. The psychological pressure cooker exploded in her 20s with quickly deteriorating mental health. The faux perfectionism drove her into an eating disorder as a means to gain any form of control over her life. When she could no longer pretend anymore, questioning authority and pursuing her personal freedom cost her, her devout family. She now has a YouTube channel where she discusses the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ harmful policies. Today we are going LIVE with Bethany to further dive into how the Jehovah’s Witnesses completely ruined her relationship with her parents. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch the initial interview here Find Bethany on social media: Linktree: https://linktr.ee/bethanyleger website: www.bethanyleger.com YT: https://www.youtube.com/@stoptheshunning IG: https://www.instagram.com/bethanylegerwriter Bethany’s book: Physically In, Mentally Out: Navigating Your Exit From Watchtower The best way to reach her is via email: bethanylegerwriter@gmail.com Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| How Jehovah’s Witnesses Psychologically Tortured Me for 30 Years | 26 Aug 2025 | 01:25:58 | |
Bethany Leger was raised in the Jehovah’s Witnesses, only to realize she had been part of a cult for thirty years. The psychological pressure cooker exploded in her 20s with quickly deteriorating mental health. The faux perfectionism drove her into an eating d*sorder as a means to gain any form of control over her life. When she could no longer pretend anymore, questioning authority and pursuing her personal freedom cost her, her devout family. She now has a YouTube channel where she discusses the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ h*rmful policies. Click here to watch on YouTube Find Bethany on social media: Linktree: https://linktr.ee/bethanyleger website: www.bethanyleger.com YT: https://www.youtube.com/@stoptheshunning IG: https://www.instagram.com/bethanylegerwriter Bethany’s book: Physically In, Mentally Out: Navigating Your Exit From Watchtower The best way to reach her is via email: bethanylegerwriter@gmail.com Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks: 00:00:00 Intro 00:04:25 Defining the Jehovah's Witness religion as a cult-like group 00:06:02 What Bethany's family was like growing up 00:11:08 Core beliefs of the Jehovah's Witnesses 00:15:23 Bethany's gut feelings about the church and the obligation to fulfill duties 00:23:20 CW: ED Developing h*rmful behaviors and realizing how being a JW makes Bethany really feel 00:25:21 CW: ED Bethany's experience in high school that led her to evaluate the Jehovah's Witnesses 00:38:45 What Bethany's mom did to keep her in the religion 00:41:16 Bethany's parents' conflicting values and where that confusion ultimately led her 00:46:26 How self policing kept Bethany as a Jehovah's Witness after high school 00:49:30 The tension in Bethany reaches a breaking point CW: su*cid*l ideation 00:51:54 The last time Bethany stepped foot in a Kingdom Hall 00:58:29 The moment that changed Bethany's perspective forever 01:02:02 CW: SA Jehovah's Witness SA cases in Australia 01:03:12 CW: SA The two witness rule and how it allows rampant ab*se to fester for years 01:06:10 Barbara Anderson's story 01:13:59 New changes to how shunning works 01:19:09 How Bethany is doing now 01:22:51 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Confronting Our Mormon Polygamous Cult Compound 25 Years Later | 25 Aug 2025 | 01:03:31 | |
Melanie and Cory grew up in the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB) at the Montana compound. They wouldn’t meet, however, until long after leaving the cult and all their family behind. Almost a polygamous wife, Melanie had a horrible arranged marriage at a young age and did whatever it took to get out and become free. Now, we look at what happens when a funeral brings them both back to the compound to face estranged family members as apostates. How did their families react to them now that they have a YouTube channel exposing the AUB? Tune in to find out! Click here to watch on YouTube Watch Melanie’s initial interview Follow Melanie on Social Media: https://www.youtube.com/@NotestoSelf444 IG: @Notestoself444 https://www.tiktok.com/@NotestoSelf444 Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| My Father is the Polygamist Prophet of the AUB Mormon Sect | 21 Aug 2025 | 01:33:10 | |
One of the polygamous offshoots of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the Apostolic United Brethren (AUB) where the famous Kody Brown and Sister Wives come from. Melanie grew up in this group with 4 mothers and 34 and counting siblings. Her Father was an apostle when she was growing up, but would go on to become the prophet. A position that is said to commune directly with God and Jesus themselves. The highest calling on Earth. Melanie and her siblings were shocked when such an ab*sive man would be given such a sacred calling. Melanie, destined to become a plural wife herself, would have to put up with her spouse courting a 16 year old girl while she was pregnant! She lived a life full of grief and pain and void of real romantic love, until she gained the courage to escape and leave her entire family and community behind. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch Melanie and Cory in our LIVE interview Follow Melanie on Social Media: https://www.youtube.com/@NotestoSelf444 IG: @Notestoself444 https://www.tiktok.com/@NotestoSelf444 Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:36 Why Melanie Started Sharing Her Story; Her ChiIdhood 00:08:07 Melanie’s Father Had a Favorite Wife and How it Impacted Her as a ChiId 00:16:40 Specifics about the AUB and Melanie’s First Marriage 00:22:42 Melanie’s First Husband, and How Her Mother Taught Her Not to See Race 00:25:39 CW: CSA, SA, Beginning of Melanie’s First Marriage & How She Avoided Getting Pregnant 00:30:55 CW: Mentions of Self-H*rm, Melanie Shares How Marriage was as a Teenager in the AUB and How It Impacted Her 00:38:15 What it Was Like Dating Her First Husband and a Potential Plural Wife 00:46:28 CW: CA, Melanie’s Faith Crisis After Her Father Became an Apostle & Her First Time Leaving the AUB 00:52:35 Returning to the AUB for A Time After Her Son was Born 00:56:03 Getting Divorced and Meeting Her 2nd Husband 01:05:47 Melanie’s Deconstruction & Her Father Becoming Prophet of the AUB 01:11:04 Shocking Information about Her Best Friend 01:18:15 Melanie’s Life Now and the Progress She's Made 01:27:06 Final Thoughts and What Brings Melanie Joy 01:29:40 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Why I Fell For America’s Most VioIent Hate Movement at 16 | 20 Aug 2025 | 01:02:20 | |
Shannon Foley Martinez was a vict*m of CSA at age 14. Never quite able to meet her parent's expectations, Martinez sought out other angry teens. By 16 she was a sk*nhead spouting white supremac*st rhetoric, giving stiff-armed N*zi salutes and tagging public property with swast*kas. Fortified by the love of an adopted family, Martinez left the sk*nheads behind, and today is committed to devoting the rest of her life to helping dismantle the culture of white suprem*cy, as well as helping others find their way to the other side of a life of hate. Click here to watch on YouTube Find Shannon on Social Media: Take back your personal data with Incogni! Use code SHELISE at https://incogni.com/shelise and get 60% off an annual plan. Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:03:27 Shannon's chiIdhood and vulnerabilities that led her to joining a Neo N*zi group 00:12:06 How sports helped Shannon 00:15:34 How moving during a vulnerable developmental age effected Shannon 00:24:39 What high school was like for Shannon 00:28:35 A night that changed Shannon's life at 14 00:30:42 CW: r*pe How Shannon's traum*tic experience at a party led to h*rmful behaviors 00:35:34 Shannon's mom blamed her for be v*ctimized 00:43:32 How Shannon's undirected anger led her to the wrong crowd 00:49:16 How rac*sm come into play for Shannon 00:55:15 What a woman's role in the movement looks like 01:00:50 How Shannon found her way out See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Confronting My Dangerous White Power Ideology for My ChiIdren | 19 Aug 2025 | 01:03:13 | |
Shannon Foley Martinez was a victim of CSA at age 14. Never quite able to meet her parent's expectations, Martinez sought out other angry teens. By 16 she was a skinhead spouting white supremacist rhetoric, giving stiff-armed Nazi salutes and tagging public property with swastikas. Fortified by the love of an adopted family, Martinez left the skinheads behind, and today is committed to devoting the rest of her life to helping dismantle the culture of white supremacy, as well as helping others find their way to the other side of a life of hate. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch pt 1: https://youtu.be/SjlWNeLPKtA?si=4h-zGqOrC_ePCIx- Find Shannon on Social Media: Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:02:54 Resetting living in a safe environment 00:10:58 What made Shannon change her perspective 00:17:14 How Shannon's college experience opened her eyes to new information 00:23:05 Having chiIdren changed Shannon’s outlook & goals 00:33:32 Breaking cycles with Shannon’s chiIdren and grandchiIdren 00:37:09 Setting healthy boundaries and figuring out appropriate expectations 00:42:29 Boundaries with adult chiIdren in the home 00:45:37 Shannon's continued healing journey and coming to peace within herself 00:56:17 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Recruited and Groomed into America’s First White Power Group at 16 | 18 Aug 2025 | 01:14:51 | |
Christian Picciolini found himself stumbling through high school, struggling to find a community among other fans of punk rock music. There, he was recruited by a notorious white power sk*nhead leader and encouraged to fight with the movement to "protect the white race from extinction." Soon, he had become an expert in rac*st philosophies, a terror who roamed the neighborhood, quick to throw fists. When his mentor was sent to prison, sixteen-year-old Picciolini took over the man's role as the leader of an infamous neo-Naz* sk*nhead group. Seduced by the power, he accrued through intimidation, and swept up in the rhetoric he had adopted, Christian worked to grow an army of extrem*sts. He used music as a recruitment tool, launching his own propag*nda band that performed at white power rallies around the world. But slowly, as he started a family of his own and a job that for the first time brought him face to face with people from all walks of life, he began to recognize the cracks in his hat*ful ideology. Then a shocking loss at the hands of rac*al viol*nce changed his life forever, and Picciolini realized too late the full extent of the h*rm he'd caused. Click here to watch on YouTube Check out Christian’s books: “White American Youth": whiteamericanyouth.com "Breaking H*te”: breakinghate.com Find Christian on social media: IG: @cpicciolini Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:05:33 How Christian was vulnerable to recruitment and thus got involved 00:12:12 American History X and its parallels to Christian’s experience 00:13:41 The moment that Christian realized v*olence equaled power 00:17:30 How Christian went from going along with the ideologies to really believing them 00:19:39 What the goal of the movement was 00:22:50 Christian's double life participating in the movement while also playing football 00:26:12 Christian's experience with a black body guard in high school 00:33:13 The facade begins to fade after Christian's recruiter goes to prison 00:36:32 How their h*te for others was rooted in their h*te for themselves 00:38:40 Why and how women join these groups 00:41:55 How these groups self contain their ideas and how it warps member's perception of reality 00:45:35 Christian's marriage and its fallout gave him the freedom to leave the movement 00:51:48 Christian non-linear path to healing and how meeting someone from his past changed his future 01:00:11 The importance of accountability in healing 01:02:27 Where Christian is today and what brings him joy 01:05:15 What Christian's relationship is like with his sons and how they feel about his past 01:12:11 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Why I Regret Raising My Kids Mormon (HONEST mother/daughter discussion) | 15 Aug 2025 | 01:26:49 | |
A Happy Mother’s Day to everyone tuning in! This is an honest conversation between a mother and daughter about the crippling expectations placed on mothers in high control groups. Lisa explains her experience growing up in Mormonism which shaped her view of her options after high school and directly led her to becoming a young mother leaving her dreams behind. Shelise chimes in about what she remembers the messaging being as a young girl in Mormonism and explains the pros and cons of raising a child outside of a high demand religion. Click here to watch on YouTube Connect with Lisa! Business IG: @spiritofottertail https://www.instagram.com/spiritofottertail?igsh=MWFtdTdodHZ5aDFiOQ== Take back your personal data with Incogni! Use code SHELISE at https://incogni.com/shelise and get 60% off an annual plan. Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 000:00:00 Intro 00:03:47 Shelise's Special Announcement... 00:04:25 Lisa's early years attending Young Womens 00:05:28 The only option for a woman was to be a wife and mother 00:12:14 What the crossroads of career vs marriage was like for Lisa 00:16:44 Are Utah Mormons different than Mormons from other states? 00:21:25 The pitfalls of the church pressuring young people to get married 00:28:37 Parenting is already hard enough-- what the extra layer of guilt & shame was like for Lisa 00:31:35 The discusses her own break downs 00:34:51 The chaos of Lisa getting the chiIdren ready for church, and to show up presenting perfect 00:39:50 The pressures of a Mormon mom when it comes to their children's actions 00:44:06 Lisa's thoughts on sending her kids on a Mormon Mission 00:47:01 Things that made being a parent difficult while Mormon 00:52:17 Lisa's regrets as a Mormon mom 00:54:25 Shelise opens up about her beliefs and raising chiIdren in a religious state 01:04:14 Lisa's thoughts on the after life 01:05:47 What is the cost of Mormon salvation? 01:12:12 How Lisa feels about the less strict parenting rules the church has now 01:18:20 Final thoughts 01:26:35 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| David Archuleta’s Painful Secrets: American Idol, His Father’s Obsession with Him, and Coming Out | 18 Mar 2026 | 00:57:28 | |
A raw and powerful coming-out story from the beloved American Idol finalist traces David Archuleta’s journey from closeted Mormon teen to global pop star to openly queer man, revealing the hidden pressures of fame, the weight of religious expectations, and the courage it takes to live authentically. At just seventeen, David Archuleta rose to national fame as the runner-up on American Idol season seven, captivating millions with his angelic voice. Behind the scenes, however, he was struggling with a truth he feared would destroy everything: he was attracted to men—and a devout member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As David matured, he struggled with obsessive religious perfectionism, shame around sexuality, and deep internal conflict about being gay within the LDS Church. His missionary experience and therapy helped him recognize patterns of emotional abuse and unhealthy conditioning. Despite direct conversations with top church leaders, he felt they lacked understanding of LGBTQ issues and often avoided confronting the harm caused by church policies. David recounts what it was like growing up with a domineering father who controlled every aspect of his career and reveals the emotional abuse and inner turmoil that he says plagued his childhood. Ultimately, David reached a breaking point and experienced a powerful moment of self-acceptance, allowing him to embrace his identity, step away from rigid beliefs, and redefine spirituality on his own terms. His story highlights themes of autonomy, healing, faith, mental health, and the courage to live authentically. Click here to watch on YouTube David’s book “Devout: Losing My Faith to Find Myself” Find David on Social media! FB: https://www.facebook.com/davidarchuleta IG: https://www.instagram.com/davidarchie/ Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| I Was Sold to a Cruel American Romani Family (and then a Sadistic Husband) | 14 Aug 2025 | 01:28:21 | |
From a desperate mother in poverty to an American Romani family, Amanda had no trace of who she was. All of her documents were either destroyed or hidden and any trace of her biological mother was gone. Her life was a paradox of luxury coupled with ab*se and isolation. Kept out of school and othered for being adopted, she felt completely alone. Amanda was pushed into an arranged marriage which turned into another nightmare. Find out how she escaped. Click here to watch on YouTube Find Amanda: IG: @redpandasattack93 YouTube Channel: https://youtube.com/@RedPandasattack93?si=CtRqmiGBKbbrglnq Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:29 How Amanda Came Across Cults to Consciousness & Decided to Share Her Story 00:05:42 CW: Traff*cked as an infant; Issues of Not Having Documentation 00:10:34 Background on Amanda’s Biological Mother & Some of Her Health Issues 00:14:00 CW: CA, CSA, Amanda Shares Her Most Prominent ChiIdhood Memories 00:19:57 Amanda Explains Some of the Romani Foundational Beliefs & Practices 00:24:07 CW: CA, DV, Amanda’s Observations of Ab*se Amongst the Romani People 00:28:34 CW: CA, DV, SA, CSA, Details About Amanda’s Father's Targeted Ab*se & Control 00:30:48 Romani Marriages & How Amanda Rebelled Against Her Own 00:35:58 How Amanda Was Deprived A Traditional Education & Her Efforts to Learn 00:40:44 The Materialism of The Romani & The Control Amanda Was Subject To 00:44:28 What the day to day looked like for Amanda and her family 00:47:02 Amanda Gives Examples of How the Romani Make Their Living 00:51:25 CW: Marital R*pe, SA, Amanda’s First Marriage Within the Romani Community 00:59:12 CW: DV, Amanda’s attempts to Leave Her Marriage And Turning to Alcohol to Cope 01:05:10 CW: Suic*de Attempts 01:08:34 What Makes Amanda Happy Now That She's Out 01:12:17 How Amanda Was Finally Able to Leave the Cult & Meeting Her Now Partner 01:16:32 How Amanda’s Brother Showed the Same Traits as Her Father 01:20:51 Final Thoughts & Amanda’s Hopes for Her Family 01:24:28 Linda, Listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Escaping My Authoritarian Romani Family Cult While Pregnant | 13 Aug 2025 | 01:03:23 | |
In our previous interview, Gina exposed many ways in which she was trained from birth to scam as a fortune teller. Some of the schemes her family ran on unsuspecting or vulnerable people garnered over $100k. Gina explained how the American Romani family she was a part of, was not living up to the beautiful culture of her persecuted people, but were greedy, ab*sive and scammers. Forced to become one herself, or be beat*n for her noncompliance, she had no other choice but to succumb to their demands. However, once she got pregnant from an outsider, she knew in order to save the life of her chiId, she had to escape. Today we will talk about her life after running away from her family and how the made it in the world with no education past 12 years old. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch Gina's initial full interview here: https://youtu.be/lFD7FaWWWY4?si=gok4dXhuhM_HB_O9 Find Gina: Book: Shay Bari IG: @_shaybari Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_ShayBari Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| FORCED to Scam as a Romani Fortune Teller | 12 Aug 2025 | 01:20:38 | |
Gina Merino grew up in California with a very strict family which identifies as “Gypsies”. Her life was strictly controlled and she experienced harsh ab*se at the hands of her step mother. At elementary age, before being pulled out of school, she would begin telling fortune, understanding she was lying to people, but had no other choice. She uncovers ways in which her and her family scammed people out of thousands of dollars. When her father revealed a deep secret to his wife and family, both him and Gina were immediately treated like garbage. Gina was stuck, isolated in the family until years later when she made a daring escape and never looked back. Click here to watch on YouTube Find Gina: Book: Shay Bari IG: @_shaybari Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@_ShayBari Take your personal data back with Incogni! Use code SHELISE at the link below and get 60% off an annual plan: https://incogni.com/shelise Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:56 The specific Romani group that Gina came from 00:06:20 How Gina feels about using the G-word to refer to her people 00:08:08 Stand out memories for Gina 00:10:05 How Gina reacted to getting pulled out of school 00:11:09 Why it was important to be pulled out of school 00:13:56 How Gina was taught to scam at an early age 00:20:30 How Gina felt having to lie at an early age 00:23:50 The biggest scam Gina witnessed 00:29:52 Growing up with an abus*ve stepmother 00:38:21 Gina's father comes out as gay and it changes the course of her life 00:41:44 Gina's last words to her father 00:46:18 Gina was forced to go back 00:51:53 Gina is in a painful place, and is put on a strict diet 00:53:31 Gina is forced back to fortunetelling 00:59:37 Gina plots her escape 01:11:16 "I just needed more hugs" 01:14:22 Did Gina ever make contact with her family again? 01:15:56 What brings Gina joy now 01:19:44 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Dark Secrets of Romani Fortune Telling | 11 Aug 2025 | 01:10:02 | |
Born a Romani girl in the US, in a very insulated group, Paulina Stevens had her future laid out for her. She was set in an arranged marriage to her cousin at 14 years old and after her dowry was paid, her new family claimed they “owned her”. Things got dark and possessive very quickly and no one would help her. After having chiIdren and realizing she needed to escape, she would spend years fighting back against threats, legal battles and now the indoctrination of her own chiIdren by their father and his family. She still cherishes parts of the Romani traditions and educates people in the culture. Click here to watch on YouTube Book: Secrets of Romani Fortune Telling Website: https://www.romanistanpodcast.com/ Instagram: @_paulina_v_ Podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/romanistanpodcast Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:28 Background on the Romani, Early Memories 00:07:52 CW: Mentions of R*pe, C Marriages, Cultural History of the Romani People and How it Still Affects Them 00:11:04 Paulina’s ChiIdhood and How She Was Denied a Traditional Education 00:16:27 Fortune Telling, and Traditional Aspects of her Romani Group 00:22:19 External Pressures That Led to Paulina to Get Married as a Teenager 00:27:27 Double Standards in Paulina’s Romani Community and the Control They Impose Over Women 00:32:54 CW: SA, Stark Differences Paulina Experienced in her In-Law's Family 00:37:45 The Pressure To Have ChiIdren and Paulina’s Family's Involvement in Her Parenting 00:41:25 Why She Decided To Leave Her Community & Her Experiences Fighting for Custody 00:48:00 Paulina’s Struggles Fighting for Custody 00:51:14 How Paulina’s ChiIdren Are Being Influenced By the Romani Community & How She Stays Involved in Her Heritage 00:54:22 How Paulina was and Still is Negatively Treated by some in the Romani Community 01:01:28 Paulina Shares About Her Life Now 01:05:16 Final Thoughts and Linda Listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| The Cover-Up and Abuse at Bible Baptist Church ft. (Preacher Boys) | 08 Aug 2025 | 00:56:43 | |
Today we are joined LIVE by former Independent Fundamental Baptist Eric, of the show @preacherboys, to discuss the Bible Baptist Church. It has a decades-long history of hiring, supporting, and protecting individuals credibly accused or convicted of sexual abuse and other serious crimes, especially against children. The church’s leadership, particularly Pastor Doug Duffett, has repeatedly minimized, concealed, or excused offenses, often blaming victims and discouraging transparency or outside intervention. We will dive into the list of notable abusers and church response, the institutional cover-up Tactics, the sermon excerpts illustrating leadership attitude, as well as the key examples of abuse and the institutional response. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch our original interview with Eric here Find and support Eric! Website: https://www.preacherboyspodcast.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@PreacherBoys FB: https://www.facebook.com/preacherboysdoc/ IG: @preacherboysdoc TikTok: @preacherboyspod Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| “The Mothers” Separated Me From My Parents at 4 Yrs Old (Being Loved a Sin) | 07 Aug 2025 | 01:18:45 | |
CW: CA, ED. What happens when religion and power collide in the wrong hands? At Grenville Christian College, once one of Canada’s most prestigious private religious schools, the result was thousands of broken lives. Once ranked amongst Canada’s elite boarding schools, the impressive facade hid a far darker truth. Just three years after its opening, the college fell prey to the “Mothers” — leaders of a Cape Cod commune that would turn GCC into an institution of paranoia that brainwashed, abused, and terrorized its residents for decades. Staff and students alike were forced into terrifying “light sessions” where they were publicly attacked for their sins. Cruel punishments that demoralized and demeaned were commonplace, keeping residents captive to their shame — by a cult that was hidden in plain sight. The first “staff kid” to be born at GCC, Beth Granger was removed from her parents’ care at the age of 4, because they were deemed too sinful to raise her. When she was only 5, the leaders declared war on Beth’s “sin” of gluttony. It would take her three decades to muster the courage to escape. Six years after leaving, she helped spearhead a lawsuit against the school lasting 16 years, and won! Click here to watch on YouTube Find Beth on Social media: website: www.bethgranger.ca IG: @happygranger Book/Audible: Born and Razed Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks: 00:00:00 Intro 00:05:20 Beth filed a lawsuit– the first historical ab*se case to go to trial in Canada– and won 00:08:21 Beth's early years with the school, and how the Mothers took over 00:14:24 Where the Mothers learned their technique 00:19:30 The types of Christianity this school was based on 00:21:14 How they intentionally separated chiIdren from their families 00:25:37 CW: Beth was denied pay after she confessed her eating d*sorder 00:31:08 Who the chiIdren were actually being raised by and the types of environments they fostered 00:33:34 How harsh the pun*shments were for misbehaving 00:38:35 Beth's banishment to another country as pun*shment 00:43:03 The beautiful facade that hid pun*shing mind control tactics 00:45:23 Confessions for normal human emotions that were rooted in self-h*tred 00:46:56 Beth escapes the mind control 00:47:53 Beth's marriage prospect and how an injury led to her physical escape 00:51:06 What it was like for Beth to be in the outside world for the first time 00:54:23 How Beth became part of the lawsuit and how it progressed her healing journey 00:56:59 How normalized h*rmful behavior can take years to unlearn and unpack 01:00:56 How Beth met her partner 01:01:49 TW: ED - Beth's journey with heaIing and therapy 01:04:36 TW: ED - Beth's experience with therapy (continued) 01:07:44 How writing her book helped Beth trust people again 01:10:49 What it means for Beth to be open about her story and how sharing it has helped others 01:11:34 What brings Beth joy and peace today 01:13:11 TW: ED 01:14:46 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| My Mother Sent Me to Get Conversion Therapy (Escaping the IBLP Cult) ft. @MatthewandPaulOfficial | 06 Aug 2025 | 01:08:42 | |
The Institute in Basic Life Principles, run by the predatory Bill Gothard, would turn thousands of families into their own isolated cults. Matthew Castle was trapped in his own family until his mid twenties. Shielded from the outside world and musically stifled, his talent on the violin was so impressive, multiple colleges including Juilliard tried recruiting him as a young teen. However, without choice in the matter, those dreams were quickly torn away. His mother was so strict and controlling, she even drove him to and from a local college ensuring he wasn’t led astray by the evil world. When she found his personal journal, revealing his sexuality, she immediately sent him to a cult approved conversion therapy conference. Learn how Matthew finally escaped, acclimated to the real world, and eventually found the love of his life– Paul. Click here to watch on YouTube Streaming platforms: Matthew Castle YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MatthewandPaulOfficial Instagram: @matthewandpaul Paul’s books: https://paulcastlestudio.com/ Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:04:48 What Matthew's early education was like and how his parent's got involved in the Advanced Training Institute 00:06:10 How the "Umbrella of Authority" and other IBLP teachings changed the family's way of thinking 00:10:41 Matthew's s*xuality and the dichotomy between his feelings and what he was being taught 00:14:34 Music in the IBLP movement and how even some classical composers were taboo 00:17:52 How even classical music was a tie to the secular world for Matthew 00:20:24 How Bill Gothard's beliefs prevented Matthew from attending the most prestigious music schools in the country 00:26:18 Matthew's experiences at the IBLP institutes 00:28:11 Matthew's opinion of Bill Gothard and the favoritism in the group 00:29:01 Bill's pr*datory nature towards young women 00:31:31 Bill's near fat*l encounter with Matthew's father 00:33:30 The discovery of Matthew's journal and the beginning of the end 00:37:31 Matthew's experience at a conversion conference 00:41:42 Matthew's last straw and how he escaped 00:43:24 What it felt like to leave and how Matthew started to discover himself 00:48:22 Paul enters the chat! 00:49:26 What it was like for Matthew to starting dating and meeting his partner Paul 00:56:23 What secular things Paul has introduced to Matthew 01:01:01 How Matthew has learned to identify his feelings and communicate after leaving IBLP 01:03:59 What brings Matthew joy today 01:06:38 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Pregnant at 15: My Strict Mormon Mother Forced Me to Repent | 05 Aug 2025 | 01:33:31 | |
Louise Roberts grew up in a strict LDS (Mormon) household where the messages of apostles’ quotes would echo throughout. One of them being “if you are ever in a position to be r*ped, ask to be k*lled.” Her mother was not aware that she had already been h*rmed as a chiId. This led to feelings of worthlessness and shame which had her seeking love and acceptance from boys in her school. When she found herself pregnant at 15, we discover how the LDS church handled it despite her and her family’s wishes. A tale of rejection, perseverance and resilience. Click here to watch on YouTube Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:04:35 Louise’s Family and Her Devout Mormon Upbringing 00:12:17 More of Louise’s Mormon Upbringing & Deciding to Cut Ties With Her Mother 00:16:00 Louise’s Defining ChiIdhood Memories 00:21:50 Louise Becomes Pregnant at 15 00:27:19 Louise Experience with LDS Family Services and Why She Didn't Give Her ChiId Up for Adoption 00:31:28 Louise Talks About The Religious Repercussions of Getting Pregnant 00:40:00 TW: CSA, Quotes from "The Miracle of Forgiveness" that Louise’s Mother Used to Teach Her 00:45:42 Toxic Situation with Her Mother and with the Church 00:56:44 Navigating Life After Having a ChiId, and Her Mother's Pressuring Her to Get Married 01:00:11 The Pressure and Judgement Her Mom Put on Her and Her Husband 01:09:25 Deconstructing Her Previous Faith 01:14:59 Finally Being Able to Make Friends After Her Faith Deconstruction 01:22:54 CW: CSA, Louise Shares A Few More Details About Her Family 01:27:44 Louise’s Life Now and Linda Listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| The Darkside of Ex-Mormon Content Creating ft. ExmoLex | 04 Aug 2025 | 01:10:25 | |
After 25 years of being a devout Mormon, when Lexi started questioning her faith, she had no support other than the online content made by ex-Mormon creators. When her father saw that she responded to and agreed with an ex-Mormon social media post, he snapped at her to keep her mouth shut about her opinions. This was the moment that fueled her to start her own ex-Mormon YouTube channel, and so Exmo Lex was born. Since then, the last 6 years as a content creator have been quite the ride. Each week she’s furthered uncovered the discrepancies in the Mormon church, all while on her own deconstructing journey. From dealing with hate comments, to being disowned by her husband’s parents… today Exmo Lex dives into the Darkside of creating ex-Mormon content, and why she’s now choosing to step away. Click here to watch on YouTube Exmo Lex’s goodbye video: I’m "Quitting" Ex-Mormonism Find Exmo Lex on Social media! YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ExmoLex TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@exmolex TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@nossravi TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thelittle.estfarm Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:04:22 Why Exmo Lex decided to start making ex-Mormon content 6 years ago 00:07:24 What led Exmo Lex to leave Mormonism 00:11:04 The CES Letter, and it's impact on Mormons starting their faith crisis 00:18:53 How Exmo Lex decided on her specific brand of ex-Mormon content 00:21:47 The darkside of being a content creator 00:26:23 Exmo Lex on being an Ex Mormon content creator while still deconstructing 00:32:11 How Exmo Lex's family felt about her creating ex-Mormon content 00:43:04 Exmo's favorite response to "the members aren't perfect, but the church is" 00:45:31 Exmo Lex's biggest "I can't believe I didn't know that about the church" moment 00:50:50 When Exmo Lex decided to give up creating ex-Mormon content 00:52:46 What it would take for Exmo Lex to get one video out a week 01:01:44 What Exmo Lex will focus on now 01:06:47 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Mormon Bishop Exploits Teen Girl for Years With “Worthiness Interviews” | 01 Aug 2025 | 01:18:06 | |
In a church that requires confessions from ages as early as 8, to an untrained, inexperienced, randomly appointed man, it leaves a lot of room for a potential ab*se situation. In Taylor’s case, she developed scrupulously (religious OCD) and felt compelled to repent of every single thing that would be seen as a sin by the LDS church. Her bishop further took advantage of her, asking for explicit details of her intimate life with her boyfriend, including over text message and in his own home. This type of clergy ab*se is not the standard, but unfortunately not uncommon. Taylor describes living with this condition and the immense guilt and shame that followed her into her mission and beyond. Click here to watch on YouTube Find and Support Taylor! Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks: 00:04:53 Taylor’s ChiIdhood & Her Family's Relationship with Mormonism 00:12:33 Some Background Information on the Mormon Church 00:16:17 Taylor’s Traumat*zing Experiences with One-On-One Interviews & Her Relationships as a Teen 00:22:07 CW: CSA, Eating D*sorders, More About Taylor's Experiences with Her Bishop and The Beginnings of Religious OCD 00:29:45 Taylor’s Conflicting Feelings Surrounding The Mormon Church 00:36:17 CW: SA, Taylor Opens Up About The Details Surrounding Being S*xually As**ulted 00:40:36 CW: SA, Taylor Shares Her Experience Being Blamed For Being As**ulted Coupled with Religious Guilt 00:46:20 More About Taylor's Guilt and Her Experience Leaving The Church 00:49:35 Taylor Shares The Doctrinal Foundation for Her Religious OCD 00:52:26 Taylor’s Church Leader's Opinion on Her OCD Diagnosis & More About Leaving the Mormon Church 00:59:02 Taylor Describes How Her Mormon Mission Contributed to Her Leaving The Church 01:05:14 Taylor Shares About Her Self-Exploration and Decisions Made After Leaving the Church 01:08:33 Taylor's Journey and Healing with Religious OCD 01:14:04 Final Thoughts & Linda Listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| My Stolen Childhood Inside the Twelve Tribes Yellow Deli Cult | 16 Mar 2026 | 01:27:46 | |
Born into the secretive and highly controlled world of the Twelve Tribes, Meleah never knew life outside the group. From her earliest memories, every part of her existence was regulated—what she wore, what she thought, how she spoke, and even how she played. Childhood was not a time for imagination or freedom. It was training. In this isolated communal society, children were raised to obey instantly and without question. Play was replaced with productivity. Even family bonds were fragile, as parents could be sent away at any moment, leaving children to be raised and disciplined by strangers within the community. As Meleah grew older, she began to see the cracks in the system. She realized that the utopia she had been promised was built on fear, manipulation, and silence. At just 17, she made the terrifying decision to escape. But freedom came with its own challenges. Thrust suddenly into the modern world, she faced overwhelming culture shock, loneliness, and the painful process of rebuilding her identity from nothing. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch our interview with Meleah's sister, Rebecca Find Meleah on social media! The Sister Act Podcast website (submit questions or episode request): https://thesisteractpodcast.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/theunscripther/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSisterAct25 Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| The Handmaid’s Tale is Real (Ex Polygamist Cult Members React) ft. Growing Up in Polygamy | 31 Jul 2025 | 01:10:58 | |
Join us with the amazing husband and wife team, Sam and Melissa from @GrowingUpinPolygamy as they blind react to plot points of the Handmaid’s Tale and tell us all the ways some of these exact things were and ARE still happening in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Click here to watch on YouTube YouTube: @GrowingUpinPolygamy Website: https://www.growingupinpolygamy.com/ Instagram: @growing_up_in_polygamy Email: growingupinpolygamy@gmail.com Resources for leaving Polygamy & volunteer opportunities If you or someone you love has left polygamy and needs assistance, please reach out to "Holding Out HELP" at 801-548-3492 or visit their website at www.holdingouthelp.org Holding Out Help: https://holdingouthelp.org/ Short Creek Dream Center: https://www.shortcreekdreamcenter.org/ Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| FLDS & IBLP explained by "Growing Up in Polygamy" | 31 Jul 2025 | 01:19:41 | |
Learn about the shocking similarities between the “Shiny Happy People” documentary cult which is the Institute in Basic Life Principles and the FLDS (Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints)! Joining the conversation is husband and wife team Sam and Melissa from Growing Up in Polygamy. Click here to watch on YouTube YouTube: @GrowingUpinPolygamy Website: https://www.growingupinpolygamy.com/ Instagram: @growing_up_in_polygamy Email: growingupinpolygamy@gmail.com Resources for leaving Polygamy & volunteer opportunities If you or someone you love has left polygamy and needs assistance, please reach out to "Holding Out HELP" at 801-548-3492 or visit their website at www.holdingouthelp.org Holding Out Help: https://holdingouthelp.org/ Short Creek Dream Center: https://www.shortcreekdreamcenter.org/ Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Swartzentruber AMISH: Seeking JUSTICE Against the Strictest Settlement | 30 Jul 2025 | 01:10:15 | |
An expert witness for Amish and Mennonite court cases, Lizzie explains the rules of her intense settlement before taking us through her unbelievable story of disaster, lethal betrayal, tragedy, abandonment and perseverance. She even gives us a glimpse of the strange dating practice which takes place in the woman’s bedroom. Decades later she seeks justice against the Bishop who groomed and ab*sed her as a young girl. She updates us on his attempt to escape even the small sentence he was given as well as speaks on other cases she was a part of in which Amish women were targeted and harmed by sinister perpetrators. Click here to watch on YouTube Resources: https://www.theplainpeoplespodcast.com/resources Website: https://www.lizziehershberger.com/ Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:05:47 Recap of Lizzie's story- how her chiIdhood affected her life for better or worse 00:08:56 Each Amish community is different 00:11:06 How pr*dators can thrive in Amish communities 00:14:16 How a p*rpetrator who reports themselves to Amish authorities can get a lighter sentence 00:15:59 The consequences of a lack of education on consent in the Amish community 00:18:17 The definition of "adult" in the Amish community 00:21:19 How ab*sers can seemingly get away with their crimes with little to no punishment 00:24:38 What it means to be on probation 00:30:03 What going back to court and facing her ab*ser was like for Lizzie 00:32:21 How meaningful it can be to have supporters for victims in the courtroom 00:34:39 The real life impact of C2C and spreading awareness 00:38:58 Receiving supportive messages from those positively impacted from Lizzie sharing her story 00:40:39 Amish vs English dolls and why they're different 00:42:30 Becoming a victim advocate and helping others as they're going through court processes 00:47:17 The language barrier between the Amish and English people and how we can better aid victims by understanding the differences 00:47:55 CW: SA 00:50:41 How a lack of English medical practices was detrimental to over 400 victims 00:54:00 Lizzie's experience going back into the community for a funeral 00:57:41 The difficulties of trying to help those in need when it has the potential to put yourself in a triggering situation 01:03:47 What did Lizzie wear to an Amish funeral as someone who is no longer in the community? 01:07:58 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| AMISH MEN SHUNNED: Emergency Alert Exposed Forbidden Phones ft. Eli Yoder | 29 Jul 2025 | 00:31:36 | |
Former Amish, Eli Yoder, broke the news that several Amish men contacted him after being outed by the Emergency Test Alert. Some Amish communities allow cell phones, while other more strict communities still forbid them. Eli, is known for helping smuggle phones into these communities to better connect them with resources and help. He stated, "Some Amish men got shunned by the Amish Church for having smartphones in their pocket when the emergency alert system went off." Click here to watch on YouTube Eli’s 1st interview: When Depression is Considered SIN in the Old Order AMISH (ft. Eli Yoder) Eli’s 2nd interview: Old Order AMISH: Devastating Effects of ZERO S*x Ed Before Marriage (ft. Eli Yoder) Find and Support Eli! Eli’s book - Undeceived: From Amish Tradition to Christ’s Redemption Website: Eliyoder.com YouTube: @eliyoder491 TikTok: @YoderToter40 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eli.yoder.33 Resource for current Amish who need help: https://amishrescuemission.org/ Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Exiled AMISH Man Faces His Mother After 27 Years (ft. Eli Yoder) | 29 Jul 2025 | 00:57:17 | |
Having left the Old Order Amish 27 years ago, Eli Yoder, has helped 200+ people flee the Amish community. In today's episode, we discuss the consequences of leaving the Amish, how his mother demanded he never return, and ultimately how his fan base helped soften his mother, and the discussion they recently had when he paid her a visit. Click here to watch on YouTube Eli’s 1st interview: When Depression is Considered SIN in the Old Order AMISH (ft. Eli Yoder) Eli’s 2nd interview: Old Order AMISH: Devastating Effects of ZERO S*x Ed Before Marriage (ft. Eli Yoder) Find and Support Eli! Eli’s book - Undeceived: From Amish Tradition to Christ’s Redemption Website: Eliyoder.com YouTube: @eliyoder491 TikTok: @YoderToter40 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eli.yoder.33 Resource for current Amish who need help: https://amishrescuemission.org/ Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter marks 00:04:01 Eli explains the Old Order Amish 00:07:03 Why Eli wanted to leave the religion 00:13:18 How Eli escaped the Old Order Amish 00:16:38 How affection is s*xualized within the Amish community 00:22:15 Consequences of leaving 00:31:08 Eli's mother cuts him off 00:41:12 Eli reflects on the reconciliation with his mother 00:49:48 Amish Traditions Eli Still holds onto 00:50:53 Eli’s book: Undeceived: From Amish Tradition to Christ’s Redemption 00:55:29 Linda, Listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Former Vampyre Reveals Sacrificial Occult Rituals for Entity | 28 Jul 2025 | 00:44:09 | |
Rachel Clinesmith found herself in Los Angeles in the middle of an entire scene dedicated to Vampyres; a lifestyle she would come to love. Head of the Vampyres is a man who named himself Father Sebastiaan, making custom fangs for his followers. Sebastiaan established a Vampyre religion, with him as prophet who claims to syphon energy from his Vampyre Balls and offer it up to an entity. Becoming part of his inner circle, Rachel reveals the occult practices and rituals, and exactly what happened in his invite-only balls. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch Rachel's full interview on YouTube Find and support Rachel! IG @swampophile TikTok @swampophile Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Insidious Cult Leader of Vampyre Religion Exposed | 28 Jul 2025 | 01:21:58 | |
Growing up in what she would describe a misfit lifestyle, Rachel found comfort in the goth scene. Her makeup artistry took her to Los Angeles where she found an entire scene dedicated to Vampyres; a lifestyle she would come to love. Head of the Vampyres is a man who named himself Father Sebastian, making custom fangs for his followers. He established a Vampyre religion, with him as prophet who claims to syphon energy from his Vampyre Balls and offer it up to an entity. His invite-only occult practices and rituals were not the only dark thing about him. Aside from countless women coming forward with SA claims, Rachel was used for her time, labor and money while working for him. He would go on to take everything from her, which is why she is choosing to speak out. Click here to watch on YouTube Find and support Rachel! IG @swampophile TikTok @swampophile Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:03:36 What it means to be a vampyre and how it differs from vampire 00:05:44 How Rachel became involved with this group 00:13:14 What Sebastian was like and why people were drawn to him 00:15:06 How Sebastian got started 00:17:28 What it means to be part of the group and what goes behind closed doors at these events 00:24:37 Questionable and harmful consent practices 00:35:22 Sebastian's narcissistic behavior continues 00:36:46 How Sebastian infiltrated himself into Rachel's personal and professional life 00:45:57 Sebastian lays the groundwork for leading the entire vampyre community 00:51:59 The fine line between fun and getting taken advantage of in the vampyre culture 00:55:16 Vampyre Cosmetics goes downhill and Rachel finally gets out 01:15:26 Where Rachel is today 01:19:42 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| My Parents Left Me Alone to Forage and Survive on Angeles Mountains | 25 Jul 2025 | 00:58:09 | |
As a child, Michelle Dowd grew up on a mountain in the Angeles National Forest. She was born into an ultra-religious cult—or the Field as they called it—started in the 1930s by her grandfather, a mercurial, domineering, and charismatic man who convinced generations of young male followers that he would live 500 years and ascend to the heavens when doomsday came. Comfort and care are sins, Michelle is told. As a result, she was forced to learn the skills necessary to battle hunger, thirst, and cold; she learned to trust animals more than humans; and most importantly, she learned how to survive in the natural world. At the Field, a young Michelle lives a life of abuse, poverty, and isolation, as she obeys her family’s rigorous religious and patriarchal rules—which are so extreme that Michelle is convinced her mother would sacrifice her, like Abraham and Isaac, if instructed by God. She often wears the same clothes for months at a time; she is often ill and always hungry for both love and food. She is taught not to trust Outsiders, and especially not Quitters, nor her own body and its warnings. But as Michelle gets older, she realizes she has the strength to break free. Focus on what will sustain, not satiate you, she tells herself. Use everything. Waste nothing. Get to know the intricacies of the land, like the intricacies of your body. And so she does. Using stories of individual edible plants and their uses to anchor each chapter, Forager is both a searing coming-of-age story and a meditation on the ways in which understanding nature can lead to freedom, even joy. Click here to watch on YouTube Find Michelle: Subscribe to Substack Pick up a copy of Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult IG: @michelledowdz We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:04:02 The Familiarity She Had with "The Field" & Why Her Family Moved There 00:06:17 The Organization Her Grandfather Started & All Its Rules 00:12:48 How The Cult's Teachings Still Stick with Her Today & It's Effect on Her Mother 00:18:00 Michelle Talks about the Healing that She Got By Being With Her Mom at the End of Her Life 00:22:35 Michelle’s Connection With the Earth 00:25:51 CW: CA, Michelle Mentions Her Father's Abuse and How Sickness Led to Her Growing More Independent 00:29:56 Michelle Talks about Being Hospitalized and Discovering She Had an Autoimmune Disorder 00:33:12 Michelle’s Time in the Hospital & Her Education from Reading the Bible 00:39:59 The Cult's Proselyting Methods, Beliefs About Christianity, & Fundraising 00:45:30 CW: Brief Mentions of Suic*dal Thoughts, Michelle Shares the Complicated Experiences Surrounding Her First Romance 00:51:20 Michelle Shares Her First Experiences Outside the Cult & Her Life Now 00:55:44 Michelle's Final Thoughts & Linda Listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Deprogramming From GANG LIFE ft. Sosa Henkoma | 24 Jul 2025 | 00:23:38 | |
After an incredible interview with former gang member, Sosa Henkoma, we are going LIVE today with him to further discuss his time in prison. We're diving into how he was repping the gang who betrayed him while in prison, how he navigated the system as a gang member, and how he found out through therapy that he was groomed. Further discussing the ways he had to deconstruct his past and see it in a new perspective. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch Sosa's initial interview here Find Sosa on social media: www.instagram.com/escaperoutes_uk/ We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| I Was Trafficked By a UK Gang at 9 Years Old | 24 Jul 2025 | 01:24:27 | |
Sosa Henkoma was 8 when he ran away from v*olence at home. At 9 he was groomed by a gang in the UK, drawn into dr*g traff*cking while feeling abandoned in foster care. He recounts the moment he had a shotg*n pointed to his head at 11 during a raid. On this 12th birthday, just released from the hospital after being st*bbed, we has given his own shotg*n, and a bulletproof vest. Trapped in a life of crime for the next decade, he ran g*ns and dr*gs between London and Liverpool, becoming known as “The Devil Walking on Earth”. Sosa says said he counts himself lucky to still be alive after he was st*bbed at least 11 times and shot at twice. It was only after Sosa was convicted and imprisoned that authorities deemed him to be a victim. He describes how fatherhood, therapy and sheer luck saved him. Click here to watch on YouTube Find Sosa on social media: www.instagram.com/escaperoutes_uk/ We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:04:45 Sosa's early years in Nigeria 00:05:51 Sosa moved to the UK at 8 to live with his father (was still not able to know him) 00:08:22 CW: CA - Sosa's stepmom became abus*ve 00:12:27 The events that led to Sosa leaving the abus*ve household 00:17:54 What it was like in UK foster care 00:19:52 How Sosa learned about gang culture 00:24:12 Sosa was useful for his bike 00:26:25 Meeting the elders 00:29:23 Hierarchy and dr*g business within a gang, explained 00:34:16 11 year old Sosa didn't know that he was helping sell dr*gs 00:35:27 Sosa explains what "banking" meant (not what you think) 00:39:17 11 year old Sosa gets raided by a rival gang 00:40:23 Sosa gets a sh*tg*n pointed at his face at 11 y.o. 00:44:42 Sosa starts year 7 at school, while having to watch out for his life 00:49:49 Sosa learns to shoot a g*n 00:53:21 CW: Gang related injuries at 12 00:54:57 The trauma of being in a gang; disassociation 00:58:19 CW: The worst of what Sosa saw and experienced 01:01:54 Sosa gets nick named at 16, The Devil Walking on Earth 01:03:25 Sosa was sentenced at 13 years old 01:04:01 When Sosa got out of prison at 16, he went to war with the elders 01:07:45 Sosa was set up to go to prison again 01:08:57 Sosa faced being deported 01:09:53 Sosa learns he was groomed, and is dealing with trauma 01:14:14 The residual trauma Sosa deals with now 01:15:21 What do those still in the gang think of Sosa speaking out? 01:19:31 Sosa's advocacy work 01:23:15 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Twelve Tribes | Yellow Deli Cult: Pregnant Teen Held Hostage Away From Her Husband | 11 Mar 2026 | 00:53:21 | |
At 15 years old, Rebecca was a highly devout member of the Twelve Tribes— an isolated cult compound that had strict gender roles, extreme corporal pun*shment and high religious expectations. She was hand- selected to marry one of the leader’s sons, in an attempt to shackle him to the group. After struggling with fertility for a few years (which came with its own shaming and blaming), she got pregnant and things were looking better. However, one day her husband tried to escape with a 17 yr old teen girl and once caught, Rebecca was forbidden to see him or even speak to him. She was taken to Georgia where she was isolated during her pregnancy and forced to give birth on a sailboat in the middle of summer. It would take months before she was allowed to reconnect with her husband again. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch pt 1 of Rebecca's interview Watch our interview with Rebecca's sister, Meleah Find Rebecca on social media! The Sister Act Podcast website (submit questions or episode request): https://thesisteractpodcast.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/rebecca_thesisteractpodcast FB: https://www.facebook.com/people/Rebecca-Nichols TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesisteractpodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSisterAct25 Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| I Sent My Incestuous Father to Prison for 50 Years | 23 Jul 2025 | 01:13:44 | |
CW: Incestuous CSA, CA, DV- As a child, Aziza Kibibi was isolated at home with her siblings by her abusive father, who would viciously SA and impregnate them to create what he called “blue blood” children. Aziza would endure years and years of horrendous ab*se at the hands of her father, who impregnated her 5 times. CPS got involved and took her other children away. Things came to a head when Aziza’s father impregnated her again, kidnapped her and the rest of the family, while she was in labor and forced Aziza to drive to Florida (the state he was born in) to deliver her baby in a tent. Aziza fought for her children, while embroiled in a court case with her father that would ensure he received maximum sentencing for his crimes. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch pt 1 here: https://youtu.be/difM2Gl5WMI?si=_IPNAstBSKvxfOpF Find Aziza on social media: IG: @azizakibibi https://linktr.ee/1azizakibibi Donate to Aziza’s Non profit to help end CSA - Precious Little Ladies: PreciousLittleLadies.org We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:04:14 Aziza Gives Background on Her Father & His Ab*se 00:08:48 Aziza Breaks Down the Isolated & Confusing Environment Her Father Created 00:12:07 Aziza's Living Situation with her Father, Siblings, & ChiIdren & Psychological Conditioning 00:15:36 Aziza Shares her "Micro-Agressions" & Ways of Asking Outsiders for Help 00:20:43 The Unhelpful Case Worker & Other Difficulties Regarding Her ChiIdren 00:28:50 Aziza's father kidn*ps her and the family, heads to Florida for her to give birth in a tent 00:35:49 Aziza’s First Time Standing Up to Her Father And Educating Herself 00:40:40 The Court Process Aziza Endured to Have Her Father Pun*shed 00:45:52 Aziza's Father Finally Gets Caught by Law Enforcement & Aziza's Rough Road Through the Legal Process 00:51:47 The Drawn Out Legal Proceedings & How Her Father Always Found Ways Back Into Her Life 00:55:14 Aziza’s Advice for Surv*vors & About The People Who Helped Her in the Courtroom 00:58:45 How Aziza Got Back On Her Feet 01:03:45 Aziza’s Organization & All the Efforts They Are Involved In 01:09:34 Final Thoughts and Linda, Listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| My Father Impregnated Me 5 Times | 23 Jul 2025 | 01:33:56 | |
CW: Incestuous CSA, CA- Aziza Kibibi was isolated at home with her siblings, homeschooled, yet with impeccable education compared to her cousins. Her father began to introduce ways of life that would cause chaos, ab*se and pain. He declared modern medicine and doctors would not be used, even for his wife who would go on to have 11 children. He implemented polygamy and brought girlfriends around the house, even having children with them. He used his children for labor to build a home in the New Jersey winter. Worst of all, he started to SA his daughters, claiming that’s just what fathers did; purposely impregnating them to create what he called “blue blood” children. Aziza survived years and years of horrendous abuse at the hands of her father and now she helps to educate parents on CSA prevention. A true warrior. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch pt 2 here: https://youtu.be/difM2Gl5WMI?si=FMLV4peinYqirTsI Find Aziza on social media: IG: @azizakibibi https://linktr.ee/1azizakibibi Donate to Aziza’s Non profit to help end CSA - Precious Little Ladies: PreciousLittleLadies.org We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:04:44 What Aziza's life was like before her father became ab*sive 00:09:06 How Aziza's father led the family to a polygamist lifestyle 00:13:40 How different religions affected Aziza's family 00:15:23 Aziza's education, social interactions, and health are impacted by her father's control 00:22:03 CW: s*xual ab*se Excuses for ab*se were made from the very beginning 00:23:42 CW: s*xual ab*se 00:25:28 Aziza's father moves the family to an unfinished house away from family 00:31:18 Pregnancy in Aziza's family and giving birth at home- without proper medical care 00:33:01 How Aziza's mother reacted to the ab*se 00:33:51 CW: s*xual ab*se 00:39:24 Aziza's life with her siblings and chiIdren in one home as a chiId herself 00:44:10 Aziza's birth experience 00:48:26 CW: s*xual ab*se 00:49:52 The first escape attempt 00:57:34 Health issues begin to appear in Aziza's chiIdren 01:02:24 Aziza's family moves out of their house and to southern New Jersey 01:04:01 ChiId services gets involved 01:14:35 Aziza finally has the opportunity to get help 01:19:32 Aziza gets a lawyer and is finally reunited with her chiIdren 01:23:01 Aziza's crash course in life that led to her foundation 01:31:13 Linda, listen See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| “One Tree Hill” TV Star Coerced into Marrying Cult Leader’s Son | 22 Jul 2025 | 01:01:01 | |
In the early 2000s, after years of hard work and determination to break through as an actor, Bethany Joy Lenz was finally cast as one of the leads on the In the early 2000s, after years of hard work and determination to break through as an actor, Bethany Joy Lenz was finally cast as one of the leads on the hit drama One Tree Hill. Her acting career was set to soar, but her personal life was beginning to unravel in ways her fans could never imagine. Unknown to the millions of viewers and even her costars, Lenz led a secret double life within a cult. As an only chiId seeking belonging, Lenz thought she found a safe haven in a Bible study group with fellow Hollywood creatives. However, the group morphed into something more sinister—a web of manipulation and fear under the guise of a church covenant called The Big House Family. Piece by piece, Lenz surrendered her autonomy, eventually moving to the Family’s Pacific Northwest compound overseen by a domineering minister who convinced her to marry his son and secretly drained millions from her TV income without her knowledge. Family “minders” assigned to her on set, “Maoist struggle session”—inspired meetings in the basement of a filthy house, and regular counseling with “Leadership” were just part of the tactics used to keep her loyal. Only when she became a mother did Lenz find the courage to escape and spare her chiId from a similar fate. After nearly a decade (and with the unlikely help from a devoted One Tree Hill fan), she broke free from the family’s grip, beginning her healing journey from deep trauma that reshaped her faith and identity. The One Tree Hill star opens up about everything in her New York Times bestselling memoir, Dinner for Vampires. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch Part 1: https://youtu.be/idrKmytaYdU?si=DCq0RJtPQXHnjuYW Find Bethany Joy Lenz & her book: www.instagram.com/msbethanyjoylenz/ https://linktr.ee/bethanyjoylenz We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** NO CHAPTER MARKERS AVAILABLEhit drama One Tree Hill. Her acting career was set to soar, but her personal life was beginning to unravel in ways her fans could never imagine. Unknown to the millions of viewers and even her costars, Lenz led a secret double life within a cult. As an only chiId seeking belonging, Lenz thought she found a safe haven in a Bible study group with fellow Hollywood creatives. However, the group morphed into something more sinister—a web of manipulation and fear under the guise of a church covenant called The Big House Family. Piece by piece, Lenz surrendered her autonomy, eventually moving to the Family’s Pacific Northwest compound overseen by a domineering minister who convinced her to marry his son and secretly drained millions from her TV income without her knowledge. Family “minders” assigned to her on set, “Maoist struggle session”—inspired meetings in the basement of a filthy house, and regular counseling with “Leadership” were just part of the tactics used to keep her loyal. Only when she became a mother did Lenz find the courage to escape and spare her chiId from a similar fate. After nearly a decade (and with the unlikely help from a devoted One Tree Hill fan), she broke free from the family’s grip, beginning her healing journey from deep trauma that reshaped her faith and identity. The One Tree Hill star opens up about everything in her New York Times bestselling memoir, Dinner for Vampires. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch Part 1: https://youtu.be/idrKmytaYdU?si=DCq0RJtPQXHnjuYW Find Bethany Joy Lenz & her book: www.instagram.com/msbethanyjoylenz/ https://linktr.ee/bethanyjoylenz We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** NO CHAPTER MARKERS AVAILABLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| How Cult Leader Found a Following in Hollywood (One Tree Hill Star Speaks Out) | 22 Jul 2025 | 00:53:17 | |
In the early 2000s, after years of hard work and determination to break through as an actor, Bethany Joy Lenz was finally cast as one of the leads on the hit drama One Tree Hill. Her acting career was set to soar, but her personal life was beginning to unravel in ways her fans could never imagine. Unknown to the millions of viewers and even her costars, Lenz led a secret double life within a cult. As an only chiId seeking belonging, Lenz thought she found a safe haven in a Bible study group with fellow Hollywood creatives. However, the group morphed into something more sinister—a web of manipulation and fear under the guise of a church covenant called The Big House Family. Piece by piece, Lenz surrendered her autonomy, eventually moving to the Family’s Pacific Northwest compound overseen by a domineering minister who convinced her to marry his son and secretly drained millions from her TV income without her knowledge. Family “minders” assigned to her on set, “Maoist struggle session”—inspired meetings in the basement of a filthy house, and regular counseling with “Leadership” were just part of the tactics used to keep her loyal. Only when she became a mother did Lenz find the courage to escape and spare her chiId from a similar fate. After nearly a decade (and with the unlikely help from a devoted One Tree Hill fan), she broke free from the family’s grip, beginning her healing journey from deep trauma that reshaped her faith and identity. The One Tree Hill star opens up about everything in her New York Times bestselling memoir, Dinner for Vampires. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch Pt 2: https://youtu.be/jUuqpRd0t_Q?si=E4oDhrdQ5_HBH4xt Find Bethany Joy Lenz & her book: www.instagram.com/msbethanyjoylenz/ https://linktr.ee/bethanyjoylenz We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:00 Joy Dives into Her ChiIdhood and Early Religious Experiences 00:07:41 Joy Explains the Way Being an Actress Affected Her Religious Life 00:13:16 Joy’s Very Positive Experience with a Home Church in New York 00:18:25 Joy’s Introduction to the Home Church Cult in LA & Red Flag Moments 00:24:14 Joy Expounds on the Cult's Manipulation & Giving Up Her Autonomy 00:29:39 Joy Shares How She Changed and How Others in Her Life Reacted 00:34:01 Joy Shares Her Balancing of Religion and Acting and Discusses Mormonism With Shelise 00:40:07 Joy Talks About Cult Behaviors, Hierarchies, & Need for Control 00:44:56 Joy Shares Her Perspective on Fear 00:50:33 Linda, Listen
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| An Ex-Mormon & Ex-Order Cult Member Compare Notes (ft. Amanda Rae Grant) | 21 Jul 2025 | 01:18:27 | |
Joined again today in studio with Amanda Rae ( @TheAmandaRaeGrant ) we compare and contrast what it was like growing up in The Order Vs Mormon. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch our last live streams here: https://www.youtube.com/live/zxeJbi0B76Q?si=uMsA6iXifjvnYx-a https://www.youtube.com/live/Wc3DK44vP38?si=XvElYTPZxGvYQ4jy Find Amanda! YouTube: @TheAmandaRaeGrant IG: @amandaraegrant Resource for help leaving polygamy https://holdingouthelp.org/ Remove your records from the LDS church Quitmormon.com We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**
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| The Dark Reality of Birth Defects in an Incestuous Cult ft. Amanda Rae Grant | 18 Jul 2025 | 00:37:47 | |
What happens when you marry your niece and half sister when you reproduce? Amanda Rae walks us through the shocking realities of incestuous polygamous with offspring. Click here to watch on YouTube Click here to watch the live we did on Amanda’s channel immediately after! Find Amanda! YouTube: @TheAmandaRaeGrant IG: @amandaraegrant Resource for help leaving polygamy https://holdingouthelp.org/ Remove your records from the LDS church Quitmormon.com We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**
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| Incestuous Polygamy Cult: Amanda Rae Grant SPEAKS OUT | 18 Jul 2025 | 02:03:46 | |
Going deeper on the shadows within the incestuous polygamy of the Kingston Clan Cult and answering questions you left in the comments! Join us live for priority. We can't wait to have a culty chat with you! Catch the original interview here: Part 1: https://youtu.be/TYXd6KEutIM Part 2: https://youtu.be/tFCzKyaN12w Find and support Amanda! YouTube: @TheAmandaRaeGrant IG: @amandaraegrant We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**
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| Why This Gay Man Wasn’t Allowed to Make His Own Decisions Until 26 | 17 Jul 2025 | 01:06:52 | |
With an early chiIdhood in Somalia, Magan Magan moved to Australia with his mother, who would lie about his father and wrongfully keep them apart. Her narcissistic tendencies combined with the power Islam gave her over her chiIdren, would lead to emotional, spiritual and even physical ab*se. Under it all, Magan was grappling with the reality that he was gay, in an extremely homophob*c household where gay people were seen as sub-human and worthless. Understanding that in Islam, it’s written that gay men should be unalived by horrible means. He wouldn’t come to make his own decisions until around 26 years old and finally lean into his true self and find happiness outside of his mother’s grasp. Click here to watch on YouTube Find and support Magan: Magan’s collection of poems “Stop All the Clocks” Inner self rising podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@maganmagan9422 Instagram: @innerselfrising Resource for those leaving Islam and need help: https://www.freeheartsfreeminds.com/ We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:14 Magan's ChiIdhood & Leaving Somalia 00:07:01 Magan Introduces His Mother's Narcissistic ab*se 00:12:10 Magan Speaks on the Islamic Teachings His Mother would Weapon*ze Against Him 00:16:09 CW: CA 00:18:23 Turning 15 and Discovering Sexual*ty 00:22:21 Magan Talks About Being Gay as a Teenage Muslim 00:25:57 Magan Talks About The Danger of Being an Apostate 00:27:19 CW: Religious v*olence 00:29:22 Magan shares more about his mother's need for control 00:33:18 Magan's Mother Loves making herself a vict*m 00:35:58 Magan's Long Road to Freedom 00:38:40 Magan Loves the Taste of His Newfound Freedom 00:41:26 Magan Recognizes Inconsistencies in the Quoran 00:44:41 Magan Shares about growing up in a single parent household 00:48:36 Magan Discusses Forming His Own Moral Philosophy 00:53:14 Magan's First Kiss as a Gay Man 00:57:19 Magan On Where He is Now, and What the Future Holds 01:02:47 Magan's "Linda Listen"
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| The Tragic Outcome of Being First Openly Gay Islamic Clergy (ft. Infidel Noodle) | 16 Jul 2025 | 00:26:41 | |
Joined by ExMuslim content creator Infidel Noodle, we discuss the tragic events that lead to the murd*r of Muhsin Hendricks who was the first openly gay Imam (islamic religious leader). Watch "Why This Gay Man Wasn’t Allowed to Make His Own Decisions Until 26" Find Infidel on social: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@InfidelNoodle IG: https://www.instagram.com/infidel.noodle/ Resource for those leaving Islam and need help: https://www.freeheartsfreeminds.com/ We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**
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| 15 Yr Old Held Captive By Her 37 Yr Old Husband | 15 Jul 2025 | 00:49:53 | |
After enduring extensive clergy ab*se at the hands of her community’s trusted imam in her own home (detailed in part 1), Layla’s family gave her as a young bride to a 37 year old man. Rather than reporting the imam for the CSA, her family kept it a secret so it wouldn’t affect the marriage prospects for Layla and their other chiIdren. The man she was given to was extremely ab*sive in every way, keeping her captive in her own home by not allowing her to have keys or gate fobs, or access to a phone. Every action was monitored and he weaponized their Islamic religion, using it as permission to continuously hurt her. Click here to watch on YouTube Support Layla YouTube: https://youtube.com/@I_am_not_your_sister?si=9lmUX36MAvhmkgkR We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:03:26 TW: Married at 15 -Layla's official marriage 00:12:42 TW: R*pe-Layla's wedding night 00:15:08 Layla's expectations as a young bride 00:22:22 How Leah's husband reacted when she told him about the ab*se she went through 00:25:36 How Layla escaped her marriage 00:33:16 Layla starts to deconstruct Islam 00:43:11 How Layla is doing now 00:46:53 Linda, Listen
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| Twelve Tribes: My Arranged Wedding at 16 Re-enacted Becoming the Christbride | 09 Mar 2026 | 00:52:08 | |
Drawn to the Twelve Tribes in the 1970s by its promise of spiritual purity, communal support, and moral family values, Rebecca’s parents became deeply embedded in a system that demanded complete obedience and surrender of autonomy. Rebecca was one of the oldest of the second generation in the cult, which meant a lot of experimentation was done to determine the fate of other children. At 15 years old—a highly devout member— she was chosen to marry one of the leader’s sons, to attempt to shackle him to the group. Her wedding included group reenactments complete with demons, running from the woods, a crowning ceremony and unwavering submission as an “unworthy woman”. She thought she could escape her abusive and highly controlled childhood with daily corporal punishment by getting married. The reality was far worse. Click here to watch on YouTube Watch pt 2 of Rebecca's interview Watch our interview with Rebecca's sister, Meleah Find Rebecca on social media! The Sister Act Podcast website (submit questions or episode request): https://thesisteractpodcast.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/rebecca_thesisteractpodcast FB: https://www.facebook.com/people/Rebecca-Nichols TT: https://www.tiktok.com/@thesisteractpodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheSisterAct25 Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: This podcast provides a platform for guests to share their personal experiences and opinions. The views expressed are solely those of the guest and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or producers. Any allegations discussed are unverified and represent personal accounts only. All individuals mentioned are presumed innocent unless proven otherwise. The podcast assumes no legal responsibility for statements made by guests.** See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. | |||
| Islamic Clergy Grooms & Marries Teen for $1 with "Loophole" | 15 Jul 2025 | 00:55:03 | |
A young girl raised as a Jehovah’s Witness by a strict and ab*sive mother, ends up living on the streets before converting to Islam. The family she ends up with is honored that the Imam (Islamic religious leader) chose her to “tutor”. Using religious loopholes and justifications, the Imam gives her $1 to claim her as his plural wife which led to SA under the roof of her own home. Their family was so afraid of their reputation and repercussions, they kept the ab*se a secret and protected the pred*tor. Speaking out anonymously, she has chosen the name Layla. Click here to watch on YouTube Support Layla YouTube: https://youtube.com/@I_am_not_your_sister?si=9lmUX36MAvhmkgkR Click here to watch on YouTube Check the pinned comments on YouTube for the Daily Mail article. Catch Jared and Ashley's Mormon Stories interviews: Jared and Ashley Jones Pt. 1 | Ep. 1767 Confronting the Mormon Church - Jared and Ashley Jones Pt. 2 | Ep 1768 We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.** Chapter Marks 00:00:00 Intro 00:05:03 How Layla chose her alias 00:10:12 When Layla started becoming distant from her abus*ve mother 00:14:47 Layla's time at a homeless shelter 00:19:19 Life after the homeless shelter and introduction to Islam 00:25:30 How Layla met her “husband” 00:30:59 TW: S*xual abuse-Layla's abus*ve marriage to an older man 00:37:18 Layla's escape from her abus*ve marriage 00:46:29 Layla tries to expose her abus*r 00:53:03 Outro
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| 16 Yr Old Forced By Her Parents to Marry Uncle | 14 Jul 2025 | 01:05:13 | |
Nazreen Bibi was born and raised in the UK in a Mirpuri Sunni Muslim household. During her chiIdhood she was sent off to learn the verbatim account of the Quran, which included teachers who threat*ned v*olence and aggression using kitchen utensils and mullahs based in a semi. Nazreen’s parents insisted on putting a headscarf on her, and during her secondary school years she would take the scarf off during school hours and put it back on when school finished. On her 16th birthday she had hopes of completing A levels and going to university however her parents had other plans. Instead they travelled abroad to Pakistan, and Nazreen was married to her mother’s cousin (her uncle), someone she knew nothing about. She recalls asking her mother if she could say no and her answer was “no, your grandad gave his word” and that was that. Soon after her marriage, her mother told her that she was to do whatever her husband wanted and that if she refused s*x the devil would curse her all night. Nazreen soon became pregnant and gave birth to her daughter at age 17. The following 12 years, Nazreen spent fighting for freedom, freedom to work, freedom to have phone and freedom to wear what she wanted to wear. Fueled with anger at the end of her twelve-year marriage, she could see how religion and culture shaped her parents’ choices and world view, and how the teachings of Islam demanded the total subjugation of women. Nazreen’s parents stopped talking to her after her divorce and so she rebuilt her life as a single parent. Her experience only confirmed what she had now grown to accept in that Islam was designed by men for men. Divorced women were deemed as used goods, a women’s identity and personhood reduced to her reproductive parts and womb. Since her divorce she’s been actively engaged in local politics, completed her degree and runs her own business. Now an exMuslim, Nazreen recently has come out as an atheist, speaking out against the generational religious ab*se Click here to watch on YouTube Find Nazreen on social media! https://www.tiktok.com/@grumpymirpuri
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| Why the Mormon Church Denied (then Admitted) the Mishandling of SA of a 3 Year Old | 11 Jul 2025 | 01:29:43 | |
The father of a 13 year old CSA perpetrator confessed to their Mormon Bishop about his son’s transgressions, the multiple counts of CSA. Not only were their parents not notified, the multiple counts were not reported to the authorities, as mandated by California law. The boy was still allowed to go to church and other church activities, where other youth would knowingly be present. Some of the CSA was committed during these church activities, which could’ve been prevented. Jared and Ashley Jones join us to discuss the mishandling of the perpetrator and how the church and the community mistreated them after speaking up about the SA of their 3 year old daughter. Click here to watch on YouTube Check the pinned comments on YouTube for the Daily Mail article. Catch Jared and Ashley's Mormon Stories interviews: Jared and Ashley Jones Pt. 1 | Ep. 1767 Confronting the Mormon Church - Jared and Ashley Jones Pt. 2 | Ep 1768 We want to meet you in real life! Come adventure with us on our 2nd C2C VACATION! Click here to go to the official booking page Subscribe to our C2C "CLIPS" Channel! Support C2C - Any donations are welcome and appreciated to support the making of this podcast. Find our FULL (uncensored) merch store here! Patreon https://www.patreon.com/cultstoconsciousness Venmo @sheliseann Find us on Social media! Instagram @cultstoconsciousness Host Instagram @sheliseann Co Producer / Host @jonathan.rosales_ TikTok @cults.to.consciousness Twitter @cultstocon **Disclaimer: Thanks for joining us at Cults to Consciousness. This storytelling podcast is meant to be for entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for medical advice. We may discuss triggering topics and we ask that you make your personal mental health a priority. Lastly, the opinions of our guests do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the host.**
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