Explore every episode of the podcast Crunch Wears No Pants

Dane Moore joins as our guest for this season's over/unders. Dane also uncovers a bit of a conspiracy where Brandon may be tipping the scales in his favor. Rudy Gobert WILL hit a three this season

It's been four thousand years. Welcome back, Panty Nation

THE TIMBERWOLVES HAVE NEW JERSEYS ON SALE ON 9/1! THEY ALSO WILL EMPLOY JONATHON KUMINGA! WE TALK ABOUT ALL OF IT

This is simply one of the crunch wears no pants episodes of all time

reuploaded cuz of one joke at the 20 minute mark lmao okay see you guys, sorry about this one

this is the episode where we talk about LeBron James joining the Minnesota Timberwolves

LAMELOOOOOOOOO BALL IS A MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLF

This is allegedly an episode of Crunch Wears No Pants where we spend 15 minutes talking about Olivia Miles, another 15 minutes talking bout jerseys, and then twenty minutes at the end talking about absolutely nothing. At the end, Jordan apologizes to Wolves Dance Team Member and Panty Nation Member of the Year Nominee Maggie for an accidental meme send to the "GOOSE GANG" group chat.

Kyle Theige is back to check on Jordan after a series of negative tweets this morning. Everybody yells at one point. We also review the over/unders we did at the beginning of the season. We had a great time podcasting with our friends.

Im too tired to type a description. here are our show notes:

HOW ARE THE VIBES

• They lost to the Spurs in 6 games but was it really that close?
• Julius Randle ceased giving us those goosebumps
• He also didn’t show up to do an exit interview
• Was the season a success?
• What is next? Giannis? Kyrie? Lebron? Something worse?

THE FOURTH ANNUAL CRUNCH WEARS NO PANTS YEAR END PANTIE AWARDS EXTRAVAGANZA AKA THE FACWNPYEPAE’S

• 3 Awards each, 3 nominees, other hosts select the winner
• Pantie Nation Member of the Year

CUT THE BAD KEEP THE GOOD - Durf

THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES THE HEINOUS AND VILE ACT COMMITTED BY VICTOR WEMBANYAMA IN GAME FOUR OF THE WESTERN CONFERENCE SEMI FINALS. WE ALSO DISCUSS MORE THINGS ABOUT THE GAME, WHICH INCLUDE BUT ARE NOT LIMITED TO ANTHONY EDWARDS' IMMORTALITY, JULIUS RANDLES BEFUDDLEMENT, NAZ REID HAVING A GOOD PLAYOFFS, AND TSJ!

Gregg Masterson from Twins Daily joins to talk about his preferred basketball team, the San Antonio Spurs. We talked about everything. There were misunderstood analogies. There were stories told. 

YOU SHOULDNT BE ALLOWED TO GOAL TEND IF YOU'RE 9 FEET TALL

THANK YOU JADEN. THANK YOU TSJ. THANK YOU RUDY GOBERT. 

THIS EPISODE IS ONLY RELEVANT FOR 20 MINUTES GO GO GO 

GENTLEMEN’S SWEEP OPPOSITELY IS ON THE TABLE GUYS WOOOOAAAHHH

KATY WINGE JOINS THE POD DEEP FROM ENEMY TERRITORY TO TELL US WHY THE NUGGETS ROCK! IT MADE US SAD BUT KATY IS A JOY! WE TOLD HER ABOUT THE BALKANIZATION OF WOLVES TWITTER! SHE TOLD US ABOUT HER MEDIA CAREER ASCENSION! WE HOPE KATY WINGE BECOMES A HOUSEHOLD NAME IN BASKETBALL MEDIA BECAUSE SHE KNOWS BALL AND IS FUN!

PLAYOFFS

we talked about the Lynx. we talked about the Timberwolves. We talked about the insane slate of 2026 movies.

SHOUT OUT CASCADE CBX SPORT

you guys didn't like the game of thrones episode so we're back talking about the wolves. 

It's Lynx time baby

So much is happening with the Timberwolves! Almost as much as what's happening in Westeros this year! In honor of A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms and House of the Dragon Season 3, we drafted basketball teams out of Game of Thrones Characters. HBO Max please sponsor us

The vibes are ass dawg idk what you want from me as far as descriptions and episode titles go.

Dane Moore is back to talk about Kyle Anderson's return, the bench mob's pecking order and ideal state, as well as his newishfound love of Survivor. It was a lot of hoops talk, which makes sense. We also talked about Ayo Dosunmu being attractive. We also talked about Jordan's cat Ford passing away, which ended in some gallows humor and I assure you he is grieving normally and he appreciates all the condolences and nice things people have said. Jordan also told me to tell you to look up Continuing Bonds Theory by Klass, Silverman, and Nickman, as well as Neimeyer's work on Meaning Reconstruction, and the Dual Process Model of Grief by Stroebe and Schut if you're curious to learn more about helpful grief theory that's helped him, especially in regards to pet loss. We love Dane, we love you, we love your pets. 

#LEADERSHIP

This was certainly one of the episodes of all time

Unofficial fourth host of the pod Chelanga Langason is back to give us the takes we've been missing since the end of his internet presence and the CnD NBA Show. It was great and fun. 

Dear NAW, 

Debí tirar más fotos de cuando te tuve
Debí darte más besos y abrazos las veces que pude
Ey, ojalá que los míos nunca se muden
Y si hoy me emborracho, pues, que me ayuden

We love you, 

CWNP

Shams Charania, delete your twitter account and never bother us again.

Giannis might be a Timberwolf. We beat OKC. We love Minneapolis

MC JON B IS HERE! We talked about the last week, in which the Wolves went 0-3. We did the "MC Jon B" draft. 

The Wolves are making us look dumb cuz they're playing really great and cohesive basketball right now. Welcome to the league, Joan Beringer.

- CAN RUDY ACTUALLY WIN DPOTY?

- WE'RE NOT TALKING ENOUGH ABOUT HOW GOOD ANT IS

- CHRIS FINCH: DYNASTY (WHISTLE) KILLER?

- TRADE DEADLINE PREVIEW: WOLVES TRADE TARGETS

Well. It's been a week guys. We discuss how rancid the vibes are with our new DurfGPT, which almost sounds like the real Nate, who you know is on his 6-month CWNP-mandated paid Paternal Leave (we are pro-family and actually fund programs in favor of children and families as opposed to funding luxury boomer socialism + corporate bailouts). We also breakdown who from the Timberwolves we're willing to trade ahead of the deadline (spoiler: a lot of them). 

Surprise Christmas Drop! Brandon, Jordan, and Kai from WolvesBoxScores go Christmas shopping and get gifts for the Wolves roster. There's more milk talk than you'd expect in this one. Hi Johnny Juzang.

WolvesBoxScores joins to talk about Karl's return game, what he thinks is holding the Wolves back, Snacks, Rudy Gobert's last ten games, and a few tangents along the way. Please go follow WolvesBoxScores. LOVE YOU

So much is happening with your Minnesota Timberwolves that we're not gonna talk about any of it, and instead are going to draft our favorite Sports Video Games of All Time. Durf appears in this episode! Is it fake Durf or real Durf? Who knows.

The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And this will not be the last victory versus the Oklahoma City Thunder.

Bones Hyland is the point guard of the future. DDV is shredding the net off the rim. Julius Randle is instagramming pics with the caption Goosebumps and the Minnesota Wild are acknowledging it. We also talk Doomsday leak spoilers near the end and give a spoiler warning. We also talk about Star Wars at the end. Durf was very quiet this episode which is why this happened, it was always going to happen.

They blew it vs the Suns and Kings. The Timberwolves have this podcast wondering: are the Wolves bad?

Tim Miller and DJ Dudley D join the pod to discuss playing the trombone version of Goosebumps during games, how they select in game sound effects and music, and what the behind the scenes in-game production of a Wolves game looks like. We also discuss vibes, of course. 

THE WOLVES ARE WINNING AGAINST BAD TEAMS! GOOSEBUMPS IS BECOMING A NATIONAL THING!

There's a Wolves Twitter Civil War over Chris Finch. Ja Morant may be a Timberwolf this season. Someone took down the original Julius Randle Goosebumps video. 

We're four games in and the gentlemen are trying to make sense of the Anthony Edwards injury, as well as some weird initial trends and observations (both positive and negative). Julius Randle is a trees jersey legend. Rob looks great in the face mask. If you're a new fan: welcome to Target Center. Please get lit when you're in the building. Love you BYE

We're so frickin back. We fired up the mics as soon as the clock struck 0:00 to talk about Donte (oh no), Bones (oh yes), Anthony Edwards (wow), and initial reactions to the Wolves' first game. Go buy some Lamb Chops. See you at Target Center

Thanks for coming to WolvesFest. My lord, a time was had. The audio is a bit of an adventure on this one. JakesGraphs and Dane Moore join us to chat about the forthcoming season. People were lit. Shout to the Dane Moore NBA Show for always showing love, and for Falling Knife for being the host with the most. 

The emperor of Wolves Twitter joins the pod for our annual over/unders segment! We also re-litigate whether or not Christian Braun is hot (from last week), as well as dig into Kyle's vibes going into the season. See you at Wolves Fest at Falling Knife on Saturday!! I love you!

- #AD @Timberwolves x Chromatic Vintage Drop Event Announcement (10/7 @ 5pm in the Skyway by Gate 1)
- THE TREES ARE BACK
- QUEEN PHEE AND THE LYNX VS THE WORLD
- THE TREES DRAFT! MORE FUN THAN WE ANTICIPATED!