Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption, Foster & Kinship Care – Details, episodes & analysis

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Question: We are seriously considering becoming foster parents.  We have 2 children by birth, and I am really worried about how this will affect them and what I can do to prevent some of the negative effects.

Resources:

• The Impact of Fostering and Adoption on Kids Already in the Family (Resource)
• Talking with your Resident Kids about Foster Care or Kinship Care (Resource)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you often bewildered by your child's behavior? Check out this interview with Dafna Lender, a LCSW and a certified trainer and supervisor/consultant in both Theraplay and Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy. She is also an EMDR therapist. She is the author of “Theraplay® – The Practitioner’s Guide” and “Integrative Attachment Family Therapy: A Clinical Guide to Heal and Strengthen the Parent-Child Relationship.”

In this episode, we cover:

Impact of Trauma

• What is trauma? 
• Trauma vs PTSD vs. Development Trauma Disorder
• Neglect
• How does trauma impact the brain?
• How does this impact affect the child?
• Does the age of the child, when they experienced trauma, or the type of trauma affect the degree to which the child will be impacted?
• Impact of preverbal trauma- before the child has language and memory.
• If a child is able to leave the abusive situation, can it lower the impact of trauma or PTSD?
• Attachment trauma. 

How to Best Parent a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma

• What is a typical behavior for a child who has experienced trauma?
• Internal working model formed with earliest caregivers that forms a template for future relationships with caregivers.
• The children often “reject you before you can reject them.” 
• Importance of awareness of one’s own vulnerabilities and insecurities that may be triggered by caring for children with a history of trauma.
• How to help our kids heal and attach? Tips and Techniques.

How to Discipline a Child Who Has Experienced Trauma 

• See behavior as developmental, not moral.
• Don’t spin into the future by predicting the worst. Deal with your fears.
• Recognize that ultimately, you can’t control your child. Understand what you can control, and you can only control yourself.
• Provide a balance of structure and nurture.
• Time-out?

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Resources:

• Adoption Comparison Charts
• Adoption Agencies (Resource page) 
  • International Agencies (Creating a Family partners)
• Types of Adoption (Resource page)

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Q: Now that our youngest is in high school, we want to become foster parents but don’t know where to begin.

Resources:

• How to Choose an Adoption Agency (Guide)
• Becoming a Foster Parent (Resource page)
• Working as Part of a Foster Care Team (Resource page)
• Suggested Books for Foster Care Parents

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Do you worry about being scammed in a domestic infant adoption? How can you prevent scams and recognize red flags for a failed adoption match? Join us to talk with Colleen Quinn, an adoption attorney at the Adoption & Surrogacy Law Center in Richmond, VA, with 34 years of experience in adoption law. She is the co-author of the last five editions of the VA CLE Adoption Procedures and Forms.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Adoption scams can fall into four general categories:
  • those against adoptive parents by expectant or supposedly pregnant women, 
  • those by brokers or facilitators who are not licensed or may not be legal, 
  • those by adoption agencies and attorneys agains adoptive parents.
  • those done by adoptive against expectant/birth parents.
• What are the typical adoption scams perpetrated by expectant women against prospective adoptive parents or adoption agencies or attorneys? 
• How much can adoptive parents pay an expectant mother for living expenses, clothes, transportation, food, etc.?
• What are some ways to prevent being scammed. Red flags for an adoption scam?
  • Insist on Video calls and then move to in-person meetings.
  • Ask for HiPPA release to see medical records
  • Don’t provide cash directly to the expectant parent.
  • Work with an experienced adoption agency or adoption attorney.
• What should adoptive families know and ask about unidentified birth fathers?
• What are ways adoptive parents can prevent becoming a victim of an adoption scam or adoption fraud?
• What are warning signs that an expectant woman does not plan to go through with the adoption? Note that this is not necessarily or even commonly the same thing as an adoption scam.
  • Watch for the placing parents wanting to name the child.
  • Wanting to take the baby home for a few days.
  • Terms used by the expectant parent—your baby vs. my family.
  • If placing their 3rd or 4th child more often not to place a full sibling and the couple is still to
  • Secrecy Not telling her mom
  • Grandmom doesn’t agree with placement
  • How soon they fill out the forms that we send.
  • Slow walk the Hippa forms.
  • Not following through with their attorney
  • More fall through with adoptive parents
  • Not getting good adoption options counseling  in person that asks the hard questions. This type of counseling really help her think through.
  • Overly or under-emotional about the adoption plan.
• While not necessarily a scam, how common is it for expectant mothers to not be fully open about prenatal exposure to drugs or alcohol? 
• Acts by brokers or facilitators who are not acting legally? 
• Acts by adoption agencies and attorneys against adoptive parents.
• Adoption scams/fraud against expectant parents or birth parents?  (open adoption, fertility treatment, back out of the arrangement)

This podcast is produced by

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Q. We took in my cousin’s 4-year-old last month. We thought it might be temporary, but it’s looking like it will be for a long time and maybe forever. The problem is that this little boy has gone through a lot because his mom is a drug user and never really was a parent. He is very withdrawn and doesn’t seem to want to attach or let us get close in any way. Any help would be appreciated.

Resources:

• Attachment Help (Resource)
• 6 Tips for Creating Attachment (Article)
• Parenting the Challenging Child While Maintaining Attachment (Free Course)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Are you hoping to adopt from foster care. Don't miss this discussion of adoption subsidies with Josh Kroll, Project Coordinator for the Adoption Subsidy Resource Center at Families Rising (formerly known as the North American Council on Adoptable Children).

In this episode, we cover:

• What are adoption subsidies?
• What other names are used for “adoption subsidies”? Adoption Agreements, Adoption Assistance, AAP, monthly stipend. Is there a difference between these?
• Who is eligible for foster care adoption subsidies?
• Are private adoptions eligible for adoption subsidies? What if the private adoption is of a child with special needs?
• Supplemental Security Income (SSI).
• Is there an income limit for receiving an adoption subsidy?
• How is the dollar amount of the subsidy determined, and by whom?
• Can kinship providers receive foster care adoption subsidies?
• What other things can be included in an adoption subsidy agreement other than a monetary monthly stipend?
• Does the money have to be spent directly and solely on the foster child, or can it be used to benefit the whole family or the foster child only tangentially—such as adding a bedroom so that kids don’t have to share or a family vacation?
• What about situations where the child is either too young to be displaying needs or is not displaying needs, but the parents have reason to believe that the child will have needs as they age? How can they negotiate for future needs?
• How to handle adoption subsidies when you are adopting an infant with prenatal exposure to alcohol or drugs?
• What other type of things might be included in adoption assistance? College tuition assistance/grant/tuition waiver?
• How is residential treatment covered?
• What if you face a difficult negotiation? 
• How can people get information about what particular states usually grant for adoption subsidies? https://nacac.org/help/adoption-assistance/
• How are adoption assistance/adoption subsidies handled if I’m adopting a foster child from another state?
• What should adoptive parents do if they believe that the adoption subsidy that is being offered is not enough?

Resources:

• Families Rising  (formerly NACAC) 
  • Josh Kroll contact info:
    800-470-6665  ext 115
    joshk@nacac.org
• Ndrn.org

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

What factors do you need to consider when budgeting for the cost to adopt a baby?

Additional Resources:

• What type of adoption would be the best fit for you?
• Cost of working with an agency vs. working with an attorney.
• Adoption Tax Credit

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Do you suspect or know that your child was prenatally exposed to alcohol or drugs? Join us to learn the best ways to advocate for that child, including how to get diagnosed. Our guest is Jenn Wisdahl, the Chief Operating Officer of FASD United and proud parent to 3 young adults with FASD. Jenn leads the FASD United federal legislative and policy agenda.

In this episode, we cover:

• Why is it important to get a diagnosis of one of the Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) or prenatal drug exposure for your child? 
  • In the US, FASD is not a diagnosis but rather an umbrella term that encompasses a range of life-long diagnosable medical and mental health conditions that can occur when there is prenatal alcohol exposure, even prior to recognition of pregnancy.  
    • Neurobehavioral Disorder Associated with Prenatal Alcohol Exposure (ND-PAE)
    • Alcohol-Related Neurodevelopmental Disorder (ARND)
    • Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)
    • Partial Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (PFAS)
    • Alcohol-Related Birth Defects (ARBD) 
• Increase in alcohol use during the pandemic.
• Why is it so hard for parents to get a diagnosis of FASD for their child?
• What should parents do to get a diagnosis?
• What is the average age of diagnosis of FAS or FASD?
• How does getting a diagnosis or prenatal drug exposure differ from getting a FASD diagnosis?
• Another opportunity for parents to advocate for their child is in the school system. What are some of the typical issues a child with prenatal substance exposure to alcohol and drugs may face in school?
• What are some of the ways a parent can advocate for their child in the education system?
• Another way parents can advocate for their child is through the Registry of Unmet Needs and Innovation waivers.
• FASD Respect Act. (Go to FASD United’s website and click on the policy center to get started.)

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.

Carole LieberWilkins, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in reproductive medicine, adoption, and family-building options, answers this question with advice for couples.

Additional Resources:

• Adoption Comparison Charts
• Parenting after Infertility

This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building

Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily

Support the show

Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.

Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

• Weekly podcasts
• Weekly articles/blog posts
• Resource pages on all aspects of family building