In this episode, I sit down with psychologist, author, and friendship expert, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, to unpack why we've been taught to prioritize romance over friendship and what it actually takes to build deep, lasting connections at any age. We talk about how attachment styles show up in our friendships & why the "loneliness epidemic" started way before smartphones. We also dive into self-worth: why compliments can sometimes backfire on people with low self-esteem, how "implicit memories" shape our triggers without us even knowing it, and the tools we can use for healing old wounds.
Key Takeaway / Points:
What is actually making us lonely as a society
How attachment styles show up in friendship (not just romance)
Male vs. female loneliness: the crisis of intimacy in men's friendships
How friendship is a skill that you need to keep practicing in adulthood
The role self-worth plays in building connections
What implicit memories are and how they quietly drive your triggers
How memory reconsolidation, somatic work, and psychedelics can literally change the emotional charge of old memories
Why the goal isn't to have a "secure" attachment, but rather "secure-ish"
Order a copy of Dr. Marisa G. Franco’s books:
Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends
Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment
Listen to these episodes that dive into attachment styles:
You Can’t Be A Perfect Parent: Mother/Child Attachment Styles and More with Dr. Jaclyn Nofech-Mozes
You Can’t Be A Perfect Parent Part II: Maternal Mental Health with Dr. Jaclyn Nofech-Mozes
Visit Quiet Your Mind to shop Quiet Your Mind x WTF Is Happening To My Body edition.
Follow Dr. Marisa:
Instagram: @drmarisagfranco
Substack: Attached
Website: drmarisagfranco.com
Follow me:
Instagram: @cameronoaksrogers
Substack: Fill Your Cup
Website: cameronoaksrogers.com
TikTok: @cameronoaksrogers
YouTube: Cameron Rogers