Lauren sits down with artist Boy Jr. (they/them) to talk relationships, gender, and their upcoming album "I Love Getting Dumped." Shortly after graduating, Boy Jr. (who describes their gender identity as "a non-binary unknowable entity who lives in your walls") was very interested in getting top surgery and starting testosterone. However, as they began to embark on their music career, they got the distinct sense that their success as an artist "hinged on being as desirable as possible to as large a pool of people as possible." As a result, they put gender on the backburner and leaned heavily into their femme identity. But if there's one thing we know about queerness, it's that you can't suppress it forever! Boy Jr. shares how much more authentic they feel now that they're "making decisions based on comfort instead of...desire to feel desirable." Plus, we discuss their deep foundational love for Joe Jonas, and the etiquette around giving your exes a li'l heads up when you're releasing breakup songs about them.

Follow Boy Jr. on Instagram at @boyjrofficial, on TikTok at @boyjr.69, and on Twitter at @BoyJrMusic. You can also find them as "Boy Jr." on YouTube, Patreon, Fiverr, and alllll the music platforms. Last but not least, check out their Linktree at linktr.ee/boyjr, and look for the release of "I Love Getting Dumped" at the end of October!

Tahitia Timmons' parents were hippies, and so Tahitia had been around queer people since childhood. But when she came out to her mother as a teenager, Tahitia was shocked - and angry - to be met with the response "Why would you choose to be gay when you're already Black and a woman?" Tahitia shares how it wasn't until years later when one of her own children came out to her that she finally gained a real understanding of (and compassion for) her mother's fear-based response. We have a fascinating conversation that runs the gamut from asexuality to the evolution of lesbian stereotypes to that first queer heartbreak that just GUTS you. Plus, Tahitia explains how her company, Conscious By Us, tackles DEI specifically from a health (especially mental health) and wellness perspective.

There are a ton of places where you can find Tahitia! Check out her website, consciousbyus.com, connect with her on LinkedIn, and follow her on Instagram at @consciousbyus. Also, check out all the folks she shouts out at the end of the episode!

Lauren has a genuinely hilarious conversation with comedian and podcaster Carmen Lagala, who spills all the details of her recent coming out story! Carmen grew up in Vermont, which is arguably one of the very best states to be a queer woman (hiking; leftists; liberal arts colleges; you get it). Carmen was so sure that she *wasn't* queer, however, that when a lesbian rumor spread during her freshman year of high school, she actually came out to her family as straight. Carmen, who now identifies as pansexual, describes having "teenage boy levels" of horniness as an adolescent, while simultaneously carrying a deep shame about sex in general, and masturbation in particular. She discusses how being in back-to-back relationships with men led to her feeling like her sexual attraction to women somehow didn't count, and how coming out on stage actually helped her get past that ("it legitimized it to me as soon as people laughed at what I was saying"). Also, Carmen shares her high school obsession with G.I. Jane, and Lauren tells a story about Michelle Rodriguez that she probably shouldn't!

Follow Carmen on Instagram at @carmstagrams and on Twitter at @CarmenLagala, and subscribe to her YouTube channel at youtube.com/@carmenlagalacomedy! Also check out her comedy OnlyFans, and listen to In Cahoots w/ Corey & Carmen wherever you get your podcasts!

A Functional Medicine Nurse Practitioner! A Certified Breathwork Meditation Guide! A self-identified "Deep Lez!" Victoria Albina (she/they; Feminist Wellness podcast) was born in Argentina, but by her early teens, her family had immigrated to the greatest state in the union (Rhode Island), and she was secretly attending a "tiny homo support group." Victoria shares how her queer Latina origins led her to the healing work she does with other marginalized folks, and how the #positivevibesonly movement is actually *detrimental* to our mental health. She also leads us in two simple somatic exercises in real time, and we introduce Nicole to the *life-changing* k.d. lang/Cindy Crawford Vanity Fair cover from 1993! Do we keep erroneously referring to it as a Rolling Stone cover from 1992? LOOK, WE WERE FLUSTERED, OKAY??

Victoria gives good gram at @victoriaalbinawellness, and you can listen to Feminist Wellness wherever you get your pods. Also, make sure you go to http://www.victoriaalbina.com/comingout to check out the FREE suite of meditations and exercises Victoria created just for our listeners!

It's officially Pride Month, and we're kicking things off with an UN-F$@#!NG-BELIEVABLE guest!! At thirteen years old, Jay Toole (known to all as Super Butch) came home with a flat top hair cut, and was promptly kicked out for good. Jay headed straight for the West Village, and before long, she was taken in by a community of homeless queer kids in Washington Square Park. What followed was over twenty-five years of living on the street, and some of the most amazing stories we have EVER heard on the podcast! It's impossible to do justice to this episode in a blurb, but among other things, Jay discusses the stints she did at the famed Women's House of Detention, and her experience AT THE STONEWALL RIOTS!!! Jay is an indispensable (and *hilarious*) resource for our community, and we cannot emphasize enough what an honor it was to talk to her. Happy Pride, everybody!

(TW: passing mentions of sexual assault, but nothing descriptive)

You can honest-to-God contact Jay at the number she gave out in this episode! She's also on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/Superbutch, and her website is https://www.jaytoole.com/.

Get ready to FEAST YOUR EARS on the Southern drawl of public speaker, advocate, and Lesflicks writer, Sarah-Cate! From living alone by age nine, to bouncing around group homes through her teens, to years spent unhoused as a young adult, Sarah-Cate's story is equal parts devastating and deeply inspiring. And despite living her entire life in very conservative parts of Texas, Sarah-Cate always, *always* made the choice to be out as queer. She explains how she went from life as a homeless young person with zero queer people in her orbit, to managing Lesflicks' Community Amplification Network, traveling the country to advocate for positive representation, and working with LGBTQ youth organizations. Also, Sarah-Cate identifies as aromantic and says she's "not a monogamous creature," and we get all the deets!

We've got a whole bunch of stuff for you this episode! Follow Sarah-Cate on Instagram at @s.c.peregrine, and at her *new* Twitter handle (not the one she gives in the ep!), @sarahcaitlin. Read her work at https://www.lesflicks.com/, and check out the Community Amplification Network she manages at https://audience.lesflicks.com/c/hello! Also, the Texas LGBTQ youth org that Sarah-Cate mentioned is https://www.lgbtqsaves.org/. They're located in Fort Worth, but also do things virtually! Lastly, check out Sarah-Cate's fan site, Fleet of Fandoms, on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/FleetofFandoms!

Not only is queer relationship coach Liana Griebsch an absolute joy, she is also one of the most SELF-AWARE people we've encountered! By the end of high school, straight-A-rule-follower Liana had already cleared the massive hurdles of accepting her gayness, and coming out to her Mexican Catholic mother. But a series of unsatisfying partnerships in college ultimately led her to a bold declaration: "I'm not entering into any relationship until I actually understand [how to do] this." And thus, a Queer Love and Relationship Coach was BORN! This episode is so valuable for both those in relationships *and* those struggling with being single. Nicole asks about limiting beliefs for ethically non-monogamous folks! Lauren asks about being alone! Liana gives us tools to help us be gentle with ourselves! It's an enlightening and uplifting conversation.

Follow Liana on Instagram at @lianagriebsch, and check out her incredibly comprehensive website at https://lianagriebsch.com/!

Strap in and strap-on for this VERY HORNY EPISODE!! Unflinchingly-authentic comedian and actor Abe Farrelly (Curb Your Enthusiasm; Netflix Is A Joke Fest) is back as our first ever post-transition guest! Abe discusses how his standup - which used to lean heavily on the butch lesbian jokes - was "a big tell" when it came to realizing he needed to transition, and how he sees comedy as an opportunity to educate audiences without lecturing them. He also shares the beautiful ways in which his parents have adjusted to his new identity, and how his 89-year-old, Catholic Mass-attending grandmother has become his biggest supporter! Plus, Abe reveals all of the surprising changes he has gone through since starting testosterone (spoiler alert: no tree stump is safe, and Rob Lowe is the only person who can make him cry).

Follow Abe on Instagram at @abfarrelly, and on TikTok at @abefarrelly!

Actor, writer, and VO artist Lisa Cordileone heard "no" so many times that it prompted her to create her own work, which led to the lesbian web series Easy Abby and the feature Freelancers Anonymous! But while Lisa's queer life away from home was thriving, the time she spent with her family back in North Carolina was radically different. Lisa gets candid about her lifelong journey with shame, and how it was impacted by the fact that her parents took a long time to come around. She also spills her plans to create "a Marvel Universe for women in STEM," and we go on a Queer Elder (TM) mini-rant about how WE HAVE TO KNOW OUR HISTORY!!!

Follow Lisa on Instagram at @lisa.cordileone, and watch Easy Abby at https://watch.revry.tv/details/30205 and Freelancers Anonymous at https://www.freelancersanonymousmovie.com/!

We've had a number of asexual-identified guests on the podcast, but for the first time ever, we are thrilled to be speaking to an asexual couple! Courtney and Royce (who go by "The Ace Couple" online) are about to celebrate eight years of marriage. They share how they each came to understand their asexuality prior to meeting, and regale us with their UNFATHOMABLY cinematic love story! We also answer listener questions concerning the ace spectrum, and Courtney and Royce describe what intimacy - which is *not* synonymous with sex! - looks like for them. Plus, we dig into attraction vs. action, asexuality vs. no/low libido, graysexuality, and much more! It's a fascinating episode that speaks to *all* manner of relationships!

There are so many ways to keep up with Courtney and Royce online! Check out www.theacecouple.com for their podcast (including transcripts and closed captioned eps on YouTube!), and follow them on Twitter at @The_Ace_Couple. If you're part of the a-spec community and would like to participate in their "A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism" discord channel and/or Zoom book club, you can hear all of the details and get the links in the April 6th episode of their podcast (entitled "New Community Project Announcement! A-specs Committed to Anti-Racism"). Lastly, you can check out the interviews that Courtney conducted with disabled members of the a-spec community at https://aceweek.org/stories/why-i-m-founding-disabled-ace-day. And make sure you follow The Ace Couple on Twitter to find out how they'll be celebrating Disabled Ace Day in October of this year!

Ben Siemon is an animation writer at Disney, and he loves his job. But when the infamous "Don't Say Gay" bill was on its way to becoming law in Florida and Disney didn't come out against it (AND was revealed to have donated to the politicians behind it), Ben got upset. So upset, in fact, that one day last month he made a video explaining why Disney's silence was dangerous in general, and hurtful to the company's LGBTQ employees specifically. Ben's video ended up going viral, prompting other Disney writers and actors to speak up as well. Within several days, Disney's CEO had issued a statement. Ben helps us wade through Disney's complicated history with the queer community, and provides some insight as to what we can do when a company we love is causing harm. Plus, he tells us how his own coming out collided with a NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE!

Follow and help amplify Ben on Twitter at @BenjaminJS, and watch his *hilarious* Barbie doll brunch videos at @brunchtheseries on TikTok!

Nicky Endres (they/she; Hulu's The Dropout) contains so many intersecting identities that they've come up with a comprehensive way to introduce themself: "I am an adopted, Asian-American, non-binary, transfeminine, queer actor, comic, voice artist, and audiobook narrator." How's THAT for a mic drop?? Growing up with white parents in a small town in Wisconsin, Nicky was aware of the ways in which their identity didn't fit the mold, and actually embraced this from the word go. In an extremely thought-provoking conversation, we discuss the expansiveness of the umbrella term "trans," and the inherent power that comes from abandoning the illusion of certainty and simply admitting "I don't know." Also, Nicky blesses us with the A+ phrase "a Schrödinger's cat of gender" -- PUT IT ON A T-SHIRT!

Find all things Nicky at www.nickyendres.com, and follow them everywhere at @mxnickye.

It's International Asexuality Day, and we're absolutely thrilled to have on activist, model, and writer, Yasmin Benoit! Throughout school, Yasmin was constantly singled out by the other girls for not being Team Edward *or* Team Jacob (it was 2009, y'all). When she learned about asexuality online, Yasmin immediately identified with it, but when she tried to come out, she found herself consistently met with the ever-popular "but you don't *look* asexual." Yasmin shares the factors (including race) that led her to create #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike, and explains how she eventually felt it was also necessary for her to come out as aromantic. Plus, Yasmin tells us all about how she collaborated with Stonewall UK to create the UK's first ever asexual rights project, which launches TODAY!

Follow Yasmin on Twitter and Instagram at @theyasminbenoit, and check out her writing and her INCREDIBLE modeling shots at https://www.yasminbenoit.co.uk/! And to learn all about the Stonewall x Yasmin Benoit Ace Project, go to https://www.stonewall.org.uk/stonewall-x-yasmin-benoit-ace-project!

When 23-year-old grad student Maddy Kling asked if she could interview Lauren for her project on coming out stories, Lauren jumped at the chance to sit on the other side of the mic! But not only that; the work Maddy was doing sounded so fascinating that Lauren asked if she would come on the podcast to discuss it! Maddy is getting her master's in Dance/Movement Therapy, and her project explores how DMT can help the queer community "by allowing them to tell their coming out stories through dance and movement." Maddy identifies as both bisexual and demisexual, and regarding her own journey, she says that "the most comfortable space I felt being out was dance." Maddy describes the relief she experienced when she finally discovered the demisexual label, and also shares how she lived the bi dream of coming out in a Vans store! Now THAT'S how you embrace a stereotype!

Learn more about Dance/Movement Therapy at adta.memberclicks.net/what-is-dancemovement-therapy.

Nicole met the gorgeous-inside-and-out Koren Porras (he/they) in a dance class, and the two of them immediately bonded over being bisexual (and "very woo woo"). Koren grew up in the "deep, deep south" of New Orleans and Texas, and found himself othered more for his North African/Native American heritage than for his burgeoning sexuality/non-binary identity. He explains how not fitting into any particular box actually spared him from bullying, and shares how a traumatic loss he experienced at twenty-two prompted him to stop "flying under the radar," and live fully as his true self. We also fangirl over Koren's '90s DiCaprio hair, and discuss the horny music videos that were part of our queer awakenings!

Follow/message Koren on Instagram at @koren.siren!

We have a *delightful* time with writer, film analyst, and green-haired swamp queen GODDESS, BJ Colangelo! BJ breaks down the ways in which queerness and the horror genre are intrinsically linked, and details the incredible impact that Chris Sarandon - NOT Susan! - has had on her understanding of attraction. She also shares her experiences as a cis woman married to a trans woman, and discusses reclaiming the word "lesbian" from bad faith actors. Plus, BJ tells us a story SO MIND-BLOWING, we can't even tease it!!!

Follow BJ on TikTok (queer sh*t), Twitter (angry queer sh*t and film stuff), and Instagram (very dumb photos) at @bjcolangelo. And check out This Ends At Prom (@thisendsatprom on Twitter and Instagram) wherever you get your pods!

Kelly Whelan is a human trafficking researcher for the UN *and* a former professional ice hockey player who has lived all over the globe! But it was Ukraine specifically that captured her heart; partly because the country and its people figure so prominently into her own coming out story. In fact, Kelly's gradual embracing of her own queerness seemed to run parallel to similar strides Ukraine itself has made in recent years. Now, though, with Russia's invasion, LGBTQ Ukrainians - people whom Kelly knows and loves - are in danger. Kelly not only shares her own story, but lays out simply and clearly what is happening in Ukraine right now, and what it specifically means for the country's queer population. She also provides insight about what we can do beyond donating to help Ukrainian refugees in general, and queer Ukrainian refugees in particular. Слава Україні - Glory to Ukraine!

Follow Kelly on Instagram and Twitter at @kellythenomad, and check out the ice hockey organization she founded in Ukraine at forwomenshockeyinukraine.org! And now...a whole bunch of ways you can help:

- Nash Mir (gay.org.ua/en/): One of the most prominent LGBTQ activist organizations in Ukraine. They work to educate Ukrainian society about LGBTQ issues, combat stereotypes, and advocate for change.
- ILGA-Europe (ilga-europe.org/support-lgbti-people-ukraine): An umbrella organization that has compiled a list of ways to donate and support directly to assist LGBTQ Ukrainians.
- The LGBT Asylum Project (lgbtasylumproject.org) and the Transgender Law Center (transgenderlawcenter.org): Both of these orgs provide legal assistance to LGBTQ asylum seekers in the U.S. Contact them for potential ways to host/help.
- RUSA LGBT (rusalgbt.com): Mentioned in the episode, an organization of Russian and Russian-speaking queer people living in the United States.
- Secure Brittney Griner's Swift and Safe Return to the U​.​S. (chng.it/2HHVJbczK8): Sign and share the online petition created by journalist ​Tamryn Spruill.

We sit down with our first ever Bi+ identified guest, the warm and wonderful Joe Shaw! Joe grew up in a very religious family in Texas (dad was a pastor; Church was part of the Southern Baptist convention; you get it), and got married at twenty-one. He and his wife went on to have two children, but it wasn't until his youngest - a son - was born that Joe realized he had never dealt with his own personal struggles. What followed was a beautiful coming out journey that his wife Amanda not only supported, but actively encouraged! Joe details the coming out/birthday/Pride Month photo shoot they did, and we discuss how toxic monogamy does a huge disservice to bisexual people. Also, the emotional benefits of maintaining your own Bi-cons list!

Follow Joe (and reach out to him to get the "cheat codes") at @joeshaw05 on Instagram and @DtalksJoe on Twitter. And don't forget to check out The DTALKS Podcast (@dtalkspodcast everywhere) and After the Encore (@aftertheencorepodcast on Instagram and @ATEncorePodcast on Twitter)!

Kathy grew up in an Evangelical family in Texas, where gay people were described with words like "abomination" and "contagious." For decades, she walked the path she was expected to: getting married, having children, and unconsciously training herself to just "Christian harder" whenever "the gay would start to come up." It wasn't until last year at the age of fifty that Kathy finally realized she was a lesbian, but, WOW, has she embraced it! She talks about all of the incredible resources she's created for other women coming out later in life, and tells us the best multi-generational coming out story we've EVER heard! Not only that: as someone who is on the ground in Texas, Kathy provides up-close information on the impact of Governor Abbott's hideous anti-trans directive, and lets us know what we can do to help trans kids and their families.

Follow Kathy on Instagram at @betterlatethanstraight, and go to https://www.betterlatethanstraight.com/ to check out her blog, sign up for her newsletter, and take advantage of the fantastic resources she's compiled!

To help with the situation in Texas, Kathy recommends: https://www.tpride.org/index.php (letter writing campaign), https://www.txtranskids.org/ (list of different trans organizations in Texas), and https://www.outyouth.org/support-for-families (resources and support for Texas trans families, including legal support).

To donate directly to the Armed Forces of Ukraine, Nicole recommends: https://bank.gov.ua/en/about/support-the-armed-forces

BOY OH BOY, ARE WE EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE! We're reunited with Episode 9 guest Lauren Ludwig (she/they), who has had some major life-developments since we last spoke! For one thing, they now "identify more aggressively as gender non-binary," but an even bigger development is that Lauren and their husband have opened up their marriage, and are now poly [that sound you just heard was Nicole SQUEALING WITH GLEE]! Lauren and Nicole bond over how similar their poly journeys have been (right down to being side-eyed as the "instigator" by certain friends and family), and discuss how the poly community needs monogamous allies, *not* "saviors." Plus, Lauren fills us in on their FANTASTICALLY-QUEER Netflix short "Heart Shot," which was written by them and directed by their girlfriend!

Follow Lauren on Instagram at @ludwigmonster, and absolutely, positively check out "Heart Shot" on Netflix (www.netflix.com/title/81343173, or just search "Heart Shot")!

As you're no doubt aware, there is some *truly* awful legislation making headlines lately. These bills and laws not only severely impede teachers' ability to, well, teach, but also make educators vulnerable to lawsuits for simply talking about race and gender issues in the classroom. It's real Handmaid's Tale stuff. To better examine how dire the situation is, we brought on two *tremendous* queer teachers, B (they/she) and Andie (they/them), who hail from Pennsylvania and Ohio respectively. They candidly discuss what the passage of legislation like Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill would mean for them as educators and individuals. We dive into Critical Race Theory, get real about teacher burnout, and say the word "nefarious" A LOT. Most importantly, we learn how we can support America's teachers at this critical time.

Follow (and support by re-posting!) our two amazing guests:
B is on Instagram at @betweenunreadlines
Andie is on both Twitter and Instagram at @andie_the_enby

And keep track of the proposed legislation in your state and across America with tools like:
https://freedomforallamericans.org/legislative-tracker/ (@freedom4allusa everywhere)
https://www.equalityfederation.org/ (@EqualityFed everywhere)

We've got award-winning author Mariko Tamaki (DC's "Crush & Lobo"), whose queer YA novel "Cold" just came out this week! Mariko came of age at an all-girls private school in Toronto, and thought her disinterest in boys was just because she was a late bloomer...until she got to university, and discovered Montreal's '90s queer scene. Mariko's story includes being schooled by lesbian elders about the complicated dynamics within the queer community, a moment of desperation when she ABSOLUTELY NEEDED a magazine with Jodie Foster, and a lesbian bar called "Sisters" that hits every trope in the book.

Follow Mariko at @marikotamaki on Instagram and Twitter, and look for "Cold" at bookstores everywhere!

In a real lovefest of an episode, we're joined by Nicole's former youth group advisor, Jenn McCalley, who Nicole came out to twenty years ago as a wee baby queer! But that's not all: in true "circle of life" fashion, Jenn is now recently out as a baby queer HERSELF!!! Now a social worker and married mother of two, Jenn realized early in the pandemic that not living her full truth was affecting both her marriage and her mental health. Jenn talks about what it was like to come out as bi at fifty-three, and how - contrary to her fears - doing so has actually helped her to feel even *closer* to her husband. (We highly recommend this episode for anyone coming out while in a relationship!) All this, plus Nicole finally learns the meaning of the term "pillow princess!"

We sit down with Nicole's dear friend and concert-going buddy, Mike Mizwicki! Mike grew up in an Irish Catholic family in Chicago, so suffice to say he was surrounded by an ever-present machismo factor. But even as a child, he could tell from other people's reactions to his behaviors and interests that there was something about him that was "wrong or different." Mike pays homage to Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss (the guiding gay light of his youth), and we talk for the first time about the differences between public vs. private first queer kisses! Also, we get real about what it means to even passively ask your parents for "permission" to come out to extended family.

Follow Mike on Instagram at @miz.interpretations!

It's Valentine's Day, and the pod is serving up a hot 'n spicy episode with educatrix, writer, and former AVN-nominated director, Tina Horn! Regarding her sexuality, Tina says "as soon as I knew that I had a crush on Fox Mulder, I knew I had a crush on Dana Scully." Unfortunately, she was growing up in a small, homophobic town in Northern California, and so the majority of her early sexual partners were restricted to cis men. Tina categorizes those early experiences as "all right," but even as an adolescent, she was already aware of a fundamental truth: "I knew that I really liked sex, and I wanted to do it all the time, and I wanted more variety and, like, different kinds of sex." Tina discusses becoming a sex worker at a time when the Bay Area had a thriving queer and feminist porn scene, and explains why it is so important for her to be out as such, even though her time in the sex industry has "waxed and waned over the years." We also talk about Tina's comic series, "Deprog" (which features a hardboiled leatherdyke detective and a genderqueer femme fatale!), and her upcoming book of fetish cultural criticism, "Why Are People Into That?" based on her long-running podcast of the same name. All this, plus Lauren gives a special Queer Root Shout-Out (TM) to the most sapphic music video of ALL TIME!

Go to tinahorn.net to find out where you can pre-order both "Deprog" and "Why Are People Into That?: A Cultural Investigation of Kink" (and while you're there, sign up for Tina's newsletter as well!). Also follow Tina on Twitter and Instagram at @tinahornsass, and check out her podcast "Why Are People Into That?!" on all the usual platforms!

In a mere twenty-two years on this planet, Regan Aliyah (Club Mickey Mouse) has already forged a career as an actor, rapper, spoken word artist, choreographer, and more! Regan started working professionally at the age of twelve; as a result, she never really focused on herself or her personal life because she felt she had to prioritize her outward-facing persona. She teaches us all about The Lesbian Masterdoc (TM), reveals her cartoon crushes, and tells the *adorable* story of how she met her MMA fighter girlfriend! Also, how she and her mom got to the beautiful place in their relationship that they're at now, despite getting off on the wrong foot when Regan first came out.

Check out all things Regan at https://www.reganaliyah.com/, and follow her everywhere at @reganaliyah!

We're joined by Germana Belo, co-writer of the award-winning, *very* sexy and sapphic web series RED, as well as a brand new series that she and Nicole wrote TOGETHER! Growing up in Brazil in the 1980s, Germana feared that the feelings she had for women (especially Brooke Shields...) were a sin, or even a curse. She talks about falling in love with her first therapist at the age of eighteen (classic!), and shares how to this day she often feels like she is "too gay to be bi, and not gay enough to be a lesbian" (also classic, sadly). Plus, we do an in-depth examination of queer storytelling, and Nicole and Germana share some *scintillating* details about their upcoming web series, As Love Goes!

Follow Germana on Twitter at @_germana, and on Instagram at @gebelo.
Follow "As Love Goes" at @aslovegoes_ on Instagram, and check out their fundraising campaign at www.indiegogo.com/projects/as-love-goes-season-1!

We're starting the year off right with actor/content creator/all-around-joyful-and-hilarious-human-being, Nikki Garza! Nikki explains how she's distanced herself from the term "body positivity" as she's watched it come to mean insecurity in general, as opposed to the actual marginalization of othered bodies. Nikki prefers the term "body confidence," and discusses how so many people are attracted to fat folks...but want to "love you in private" (yes; even ultra-accepting queer people). We also dissect the concept of "sexy ugly," and Nikki beautifully illustrates the difference between straight men and queer women by reading us DMs from her thirst traps!

Follow Nikki on TikTok and Instagram at @itsnikki.g, and on Twitter at @itsnikkigarza

You know it, you love it, you can't live without it - it's our third annual LISTENER MAILBAG EPISODE! We had some *great* questions this year, including how to recognize the subtle differences between aesthetic attraction, sexual attraction, and being attracted "to the person," and an epic four-part question about polyamory. Plus, we tackle that tale as old as time itself: why does EVERY queer woman on dating apps want to go on a fu@#ing hike?!? 'Tis the season to hunker down under some blankets and say goodbye to this weird AF year with us, Coming Out Pod style!

Looking for some lighthearted queer content to pump into your eyes and ears during our brief hiatus? Check out our ever-evolving queer media list at comingoutpod.com/media! We'll also be posting outtakes from episodes past on our Patreon at patreon.com/comingoutpod.

We hear a raw, inspiring story of survival and resilience from our guest, Stelle. One of eight children, Stelle grew up in an extremely isolated religious cult started by her father in rural Oregon. Among other things, cult life entailed corporal punishment, and teachings that women must submit to their husbands unconditionally. Stelle shares how she managed to free herself, and recalls the point at which she was able to start considering her sexuality. It's a story that is truly unlike any we've heard before.

You can follow Stelle on Instagram at @astelleau. If you're interested in the God is Grey interview she discusses in this episode, it can be found on YouTube at https://youtu.be/HTe-El4NjgQ.

We have a beautiful conversation with Lauren's buddy, “Jay,” who tells us the story of his daughter’s coming out, and shares his own experience as a “cis hetero male dad” raising a trans child. At three years old, Jay’s AMAB (Assigned Male At Birth) daughter began giving “insistent, persistent, and consistent” signals that she felt she was a girl. Jay discusses what he and his wife observed in their daughter’s development, and speaks candidly about the challenges parents of trans kids face, including the "ticking clock behind big, hard decisions.” We’re so grateful to have had this conversation!

Some of the resources Jay mentions in this episode include:
“It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book about Gender Identity” by Theresa Thorn
“Sex Is a Funny Word” and “What Makes a Baby” by Cory Silverberg
TransFamilies.org

This episode is sponsored by Lorals, the world’s first oral sex panties! Get 15% off your first purchase today at www.mylorals.com with code COP15!

Sexting, libido, and dildos, OH MY! These are just a few of the things we go deep into (you're welcome) with queer sex educator Gabrielle Kassel! It's a *very* uncensored ep of the pod as Gabrielle shares the questions she is most frequently asked in her particular line of work. Gabrielle, who defines sex as "any meaningful act of pleasure," blows our minds by laying out the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire, and discusses how to cultivate an environment where it's easier to talk about the sex you're having. Plus what to do about mismatched libidos, and why you should seriously consider wearing your new dildo around the house while you do chores (roommates allowing)!

Follow @gabriellekassel everywhere, and check out "Bad in Bed" wherever you get your podcasts!

Our DMs have been overflowing with a veritable cornucopia of polyamory-related questions, so seeing as tomorrow is Thanksgiving, we thought we'd bring not one, not two, but THREE poly folks to the table to discuss loving in abundance! Morgan (@chillpolyamory) provides peer support for poly folks, and nesting partners Bear & Fifi (@bear.n.fifi) offer intimacy coaching. They were all kind enough to cover topics such as "relationship anarchy," jealousy, "compersion," agreements, scarcity vs. abundance, and what the folks are up to kink-wise in Berlin! Nicole and our guests respond to listener questions, and give tips for first-timers easing into poly. Also, Lauren finally gets all of her monogamous-person questions answered! Happy Thanksgiving, y’all!

Follow Morgan on Instagram and TikTok at @chillpolyamory, and check out patreon.com/chillpolyamory! Follow Bear & Fifi on Instagram at @bear.n.fifi, and reach out to them via DM or at bear.n.fifi@gmail.com. Also, check the link in their bio for info about their Conscious Intimacy workshop on Dec. 15th!

It's deeply embarrassing for a queer podcast to go 3+ years without featuring the founder of an animal rescue, but that all ends TODAY! Natalie Garcia lost her dog Maggie Mae in an unthinkable accident, but the tragedy inspired her to create MaeDay Rescue. Eleven years later, MaeDay is one of the most popular rescues in Los Angeles - in fact, it's where Nicole got Dobby! Eventually we manage to pull ourselves away from talking about dogs long enough to dig into Natalie's coming out story, which begins at the tender age of fourteen. Natalie discusses being part of her high school's "popular straight girls group," and how coming out set her off on a different path from those friends. She also shares the VERY dramatic story of reconnecting with her high school girlfriend years later, and the time she and her date found out they were actually related. All this, plus auditory cameos from *several* pets!

Follow Natalie on Instagram at @nataliewould, and follow MaeDay Rescue everywhere at @maedayrescue. Also check out @maedayoutpost, and maedayrescue.com!

Get ready to have your pants charmed off (consensually) by James Barnes, aka The Trans Coach! A corporate trainer who specializes in LGBTQ education, James transitioned almost seven years ago, and today has a wife and two small children. But he started out in a family of missionaries, and was groomed from an early age to be a pastor due to his ability to effortlessly connect with people. James shares how the discomfort of house-hunting as a trans person unexpectedly led him to his dream career, how he managed to keep his ample Christian network through both coming out as gay *and* coming out as trans, and how empathy is at the center of everything he does. He also provides some excellent advice for coming out to family, and we discuss why shaking hands is a billion times weirder than saying your pronouns!

website: thetranscoach.com
socials: @thetranscoach

LGBTQ-affirming therapist Chris Tompkins clearly remembers knowing by the age of six that he was gay. So when he was told that his six-year-old nephew was "not old enough" to understand that he had a gay uncle, it started Chris down a path that ultimately led to him a writing a book titled "Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground." Chris describes how his religious upbringing made him genuinely believe that if he put all his energy into becoming "the best Christian," he could eventually make himself straight (spoiler alert: he couldn't). A natural storyteller, Chris details several close calls he had during his study abroad in Italy ("I feel like I was trying to come out"), and shares the beautiful story of how he eventually met his first boyfriend through a series of random-but-fateful events. Plus, Chris's record-breaking tour where he came out to a whopping seven family members during a single visit home!

Follow Chris on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at @aroadtriptolove, and check out his website, aroadtriptolove.com, for info on his book, his work, and much more!

In a truly one-of-a-kind episode, we talk to American ex-pat and professional jazz saxophonist(!) Mariela Mulder, who has a very unique set of circumstances: for a harrowing year, Mariela taught in Kuwait, and agreed to speak to us candidly about what it's like to live in a country where it's illegal to be gay. From the queer students and adults who risked coming out to her, to the secret location where "women go to meet each other," Mariela shares it all!

Insta: @marielamulder
Music: marielamulder.com

Because the world needs more white cis people sharing their views on Dave Chappelle!!! In all seriousness, we explain up top why it felt necessary to address "The Closer," and how we hope this episode amounts to getting sh*t out of our systems before having a trans guest on to discuss. We share some opinions we KNOW won't be popular! We do some yelling! Lauren mentions Ashlee Marie Preston a billion times! We hope you'll listen.

FOLLOW:
@ashleemariepreston
@hopegiselle
@raquel_willis
@janayathefuture

It's our most VISUALLY STUNNING episode yet, with a guest whose coming out story spans Maine, Scotland, and Alaska! Eileen Hanley (Crazy Hot: The Podcast) always thought/knew she was bisexual, but internalized biphobia and an eight-year relationship with her boyfriend made her feel like she'd somehow be "lying" if she came out. She tells us about her deliciously awkward first sexual experience with a woman, and explains why EVERYONE is crazy hot! Also, we come up with a fun new nickname for Lauren's boobs!

SURPRISE! It's our annual National Coming Out Day minisode! More and more, we hear folks in our community say that they're "tired" of coming out stories, and would rather see queer people "just living their lives." While we definitely want to see that, too, we not-so-surprisingly think that coming out stories are still ESSENTIAL! We get to the heart of why we so strongly believe this, in addition to talking about celebrities who came out this past year, and some lesser-known coming out moments in media!

We have a mind-expanding conversation with aroace lesbian and mental health advocate, Rebecca Ashley! Rebecca uses the label of "lesbian" in addition to identifying as asexual/aromantic, and one of the first things we discuss is the ostensible contradiction between those terms. Rebecca does an incredible job of shedding light on alllllll the different kinds of attraction *beyond* just sexual and romantic; plus, we dig into squishes vs. crushes, alternate types of life partnerships, and The Golden Girls!

Fawzia Mirza (Her Story; Signature Move) started out as an actor, but soon realized that the roles available to queer, Muslim, South Asian women were not exactly...plentiful. So she began writing her own work, with the goal of centering folks who are all too often just "friends of the center story." We discuss the pressure put on queer female relationships to be EVERYTHING, and the difficulty of having your entire queer identity tied to your very first partner. Also, Fawzia's "Summer of Lesbianism!"

We're closing out Bi Visibility Week with a special ep featuring not one, but *two* of Nicole's BFFs from college! Not only are Nicole, Katie, and Lorelei all bisexual, they're also all in long-term relationships with cis men. They discuss the inherent conflict between passing privilege and erasure, the significance of losing your virginity to a woman when you're a bi woman, and bi myths they'd like to bust. We also talk "bisexual awakening movies," and celebrity couples to whom we'd say a hard YES, PLEASE!

We're joined by one of our all-time FAVORITE facilitators at the L.A. LGBT Center, Maggie Tielker! For the past eighteen months, Lauren and Maggie have been Zoom-facilitating together nearly every Monday night. But at age twenty-seven, Maggie herself went through the Center's Women's Coming Out Workshop! Maggie shares her suspiciously feminine childhood crushes (Hanson, Jared Leto...you get it), the pressure of the "relationship escalator," and her experience with VERY DIRECT queer elders!

@maggietielker

We cover some entirely new ground this week in a fantastic conversation with disability advocate AJ Detwiler! AJ lives at the intersection of queer, female, and disabled, but many of her dating experiences have sadly revealed our community to be...less "body-positive" than we'd like to imagine. AJ discusses the pressure she feels to prove her physical autonomy in relationships, and we talk about the huge moment of sexy disabled visibility that occurred just this past weekend on The L Word!

@zoominrainbow

Comedian and author Sophie Santos literally wrote a memoir about her coming out story, so needless to say she knows it well! Sophie was the only girl in her middle school's tackle football league, but pulled a super-femme 180 the moment she got her period ("I am now a swan"). She muses on the "copious" amount of men she slept with while in an Alabama sorority to try to convince herself she was into dudes (spoiler: she wasn't), the summer at Wellesley that changed her life, and whether or not she's "futch."

The pod welcomes its first ever Singaporean guest, Tania De Rozario, whose memoir "Dinner on Monster Island" comes out next week! At the time that Tania was growing up in Singapore, positive representations of queer people were literally illegal on public television. Since this was long before streaming platforms and the prevalence of the internet, this meant that all of Tania's childhood teachings about "homosexuality" came from her Evangelical-convert mother. Things culminated in Tania being subjected to a gay exorcism (or as it was called at the time, a "casting out") when she was just twelve years old. Tania, who now lives in Vancouver, shares this and other stories from her past with a good deal of perspective, and an admirable amount of levity. Plus, we discuss how the horror genre is intrinsically linked with queerness, which is a real bummer if you hypothetically can't watch scary movies because they give you nightmares HYPOTHETICALLY.

Follow Tania on Instagram at @_tania.de.rozario_ (make note of all the underscores and periods!) and at @TaniaDeRozario on Twitter. "Dinner on Monster Island" comes out February 6th; find out where to pre-order/purchase it at linktr.ee/TaniaDeRozario, but also check your local bookstores!

We dyke out with Melody Kamali, comedian and co-host of one of our favorite podcasts, Dyking Out! Melody shares the pivotal moment she had with *that* scene in True Lies, talks about getting "heterocurious" in her early 20s, and discusses the flack she's gotten for claiming the word "dyke" as someone who identifies as bi/pan. Plus, we get pumped about queer Persian representation in The L Word and beyond, and muse over what straight girls masturbate to! Let us know, straight listeners!!

@melodykamali

The podcast hits an important milestone when we talk to our first EX-NUN! Kelli Dunham dropped out of Bible college in the late '80s and went to Haiti to volunteer at a school. However, she ended up volunteering at a Haitian missionary instead, which ultimately led her to join the Missionaries of Charity, an especially strict order (even by Catholic standards!). Now a comedian, Kelli regales us with stories of her former life, including the steps that convents take to discourage "nun-on-nun action."

Hey. Hi. How're you doing? Feeling a bit stressed? Maybe a tad overwhelmed? Wow, that's so crazy; us, too! Haha!! HahahahAHAHAHA!!!! With everything that's been going on...everywhere, we thought we'd take the opportunity to do a li'l mental health check-in: just the two of us, sitting in our respective closets, getting candid about how we've been feeling lately. We both come out about some big mental health decisions we've recently made in our own lives, talk Simone Biles, and more.

You're doing great :)