Darren and Donny explore self-abandonment's impact on our lives and relationships, discussing familiar behaviors like people-pleasing and conflict avoidance. They share personal stories, emphasizing the importance of recognizing our self-worth and taking charge of our lives.

Offering practical tips for self-care and breaking free from societal conditioning, the hosts conclude with a powerful reminder: by valuing ourselves, we can authentically pour love into others. Join this empowering conversation to start a journey toward self-love and fulfillment.

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DONNY STARKINS  

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In this episode, Darren and Donny spotlight the essence of the holiday season: prioritizing presence over presents. They advocate for cherishing moments with loved ones, emphasizing human connections over material possessions. Encouraging listeners to set boundaries and be fully engaged in relationships, the conversation urges a shift towards meaningful experiences. They delve into self-love, authenticity, and reevaluating life's pursuits, inspiring a reflective and uplifting perspective on the holiday season and beyond.

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Darren Waller and Donny Starkins invite you to join them on an incredible journey of love, resilience, and redemption in the upcoming episode, "Love Unbroken." Cybill Fox and Rob Richardson share their deeply personal story of enduring 21 years of incarceration while keeping their love and commitment alive. Beginning as high school sweethearts and enduring a tough separation through incarceration, their account highlights their enduring love and indomitable resilience. Their story embodies hope, illustrating that determination and unity can conquer the most formidable adversities. Prepare to be moved and inspired by their transformative journey as they lead with heart and purpose, defying all odds to emerge stronger together.

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Danica Patrick, one of the most successful and recognized female racers in the world, shares her story of what she learned during her career, on and off the track. Learn about why a growth mindset was key to Danica’s success growing up as a racer, the vital importance of setting lofty goals, and why self-love is the best foundation for real relationships in life.  

• Danica is one of the most successful and recognized female racers, having been the first female to lead the Indy 500, the first female to win the Poll position in the Daytona 500, and won the Indy Japan. No other female has come close to what Danica has achieved in her racing career.
• Danica grew up in Illinois and life was very normal, but she admits that she hasn’t experienced anything else so most people will think their childhood is pretty “normal”.
• She began racing at the age of 10 so being competitive was a source of struggle and conflict with her father, but Danica doesn’t have many specific memories from her childhood.
• Danica’s first real teacher was her father. She doesn’t recall having any role models in particular. One of the first lessons she learned from her father was that wherever your eyes are, that’s the direction you will go. This has become a metaphor that Danica has taken to heart.
• Danica is a future thinker and gets very attached to outcomes. This makes her willing to work through the pain when she sets a goal so that she can achieve it.
• Professionally, one of Danica’s lowest points was when her sponsor left in 2017. She had to face the possibility of being done racing and how that was going to change her life. Personally, she’s dealt with a lot more sadness in grief in her relationships.
• Danica realized that the times where she happiest were when she was performing her best, and that when she was happier she also performed better. Recognizing the dynamic of her own joy and how her well-being affected her performance was a big realization.
• If people grow up in a household that only rewards success they tend to refrain from taking on new challenges because of their fear of failure. A growth mindset is critical for every aspect of life.
• Home is a state of being. It’s inside you and you carry it with you. As a culture, once we wrap our head around how powerful the mind is there will be some drastic shifts in the world.
• So much of who we are is hidden in the subconscious mind. Once you recognize that everything in your reality is there to show you who you are, it becomes informational. We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are.
• The body follows the mind. When it comes to football or racing, success is 90% mental and 10% physical. The fear of failure is more impactful than the physical skills of the body. Belief in yourself carries an immense amount of weight of the end result.
• If you set your goal to be ambitious and lofty, the halfway point will still involve achieving great things. If you make your goals small you end up selling your potential short.
• Small incremental goals along the way will keep you motivated and give you perspective on the progress you’re making. Compliment your lofty goal with smaller goals along the path.
• To set the proper goals for yourself, you need to know who you are and what your values are.
• Boundaries are not about placing limitations on other people, it’s about what you will and won’t allow into your space. Being able to say no from a place of love is a very important life skill or you can find yourself giving away your energy to people and things that don’t resonate with you. Without boundaries, there is no way to really know who someone is.
• Values are the bedrock of who we are, and we teach people how to treat us.
• Knowing who you really are is hard. Work, life, kids, activities and other people make it very difficult to get to know who you are. You need time alone to figure those things out, and once you know who you are you know what you are willing to put up with and be around.
• Change is not part of the process, it is the process.
• The ego is impatient because it knows its time is limited but the soul is patient because it knows that it has forever.
• The more you love yourself the more other people can love you. Without that self-love, you won’t be able to accept the love of someone else because you won’t believe that it’s true.
• Accountability is one of the most important dynamics in personal and professional relationships. Danica’s most grateful for being accountable because it empowers her to shape the direction of her life. Without accountability you won’t follow through and will end up with more of what you don’t want.
• If you can recognize in yourself that you are stuck against a roadblock you are already most of the way there. People often walk through life passively and can’t see the obstacles in front of them, they just believe that’s the way life is. Pick up a book, listen to podcasts, and consume information about what you want and let that information reprogram your brain.
• You are in a hormonal addictive loop to something. Whatever it is that you don’t want anymore, your body is really good about asking for it. Wherever you are really uncomfortable, that’s where the real shift can happen.
• Danica’s comeback shoutout goes to her family. They’ve always been a soft place to land for her no matter what is happening in her life.
• Community is especially important. Giving back to your friends, group, or tribe, even when it’s uncomfortable, is important to nourishing the relationships that make up life.

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Mike Bayer shares his story of growing up and struggling with his sexuality, and tells how that pain led to a meth addiction that almost destroyed his life. Learn how Mike realized the source of his pain and how he turned his story into a platform for helping thousands of people overcome their addictions and live more fulfilling lives.

• The theme of any great change is relentless honesty.
• Everyone has a different upbringing and we all have a different relationship with our upbringing. Mike grew up playing basketball and from the outside it looked like everything was going well but he never felt okay with his life. He started doing drugs at a young age largely due in part to being gay but being unable to admit it.
• Shame is a cloak of toxicity that eventually seeps into all areas of your life. Growing up was only okay when Mike was stoned, and doing drugs became a slippery slope into misery and addiction.
• For athletes, teachers are usually coaches. Mike didn’t have any great mentors when it came to athletics. It wasn’t until Mike’s parents sent him to therapy when he was younger where he felt comfortable enough to admit to someone that he was gay.
• The issue wasn’t so much that Mike was gay and accepting that, it was an issue of not feeling good enough to be accepted by his peers. Therapy is what allowed him to connect the dots and identify where the pain was coming from.
• Therapy is like physical exercise. When you want to get deeper into why you feel a particular way, therapy is a way to put in the work.
• Mike’s low point was simple. After suffering for months from a brutal meth addiction, he looked in the mirror and realized that he was sick and tired of being a loser. He had no purpose and was on a downward trajectory that wasn’t going to change unless he changed it.
• Mike shares the story of his sugar momma and the crazy experiences he had when he was under the influence.
• Awareness is the key to change. When it comes to hitting bottom, you can always go a little deeper. Mike found himself going back to drugs the day after he would throw them away in the effort to quit. Mike’s awareness and realization was that he was not the man he was supposed to be.
• We have to own our lives and take ownership for where we are right now and the actions we took to get us here.
• Mike got sober at 22 and he never thought he would be a person who could help other people to do the same thing. After being six months sober, Mike started working in treatment while also working other side jobs and did whatever he could to get into the field of counseling. He went from being a counselor to doing interventions and the work continued to evolve.
• According to Mike, an attitude of gratitude keeps away the bad attitude. Mike is incredibly grateful for the life that he has today because he never thought that his life would be the way it is now.
• If Mike could send a message to his younger self, he would essentially tell himself that a person has to make a choice to be better and to always stay coachable. If you’re going to be a coach you have to be able to listen. People aren’t going to remember what you say to them, they are going to remember how you made them feel.
• Donny and Darren tell the origin story of the Comeback Stories podcast and how their friendship developed.
• Asking for help is a transaction. If you ask for help, you have to be willing to do what it takes when you receive that help.
• Mike uses the SPHERES acronym to help identify which area of a person’s life needs work and what type of help they should be asking for. To use it, you need to rate your Social Life, Personal, Health, Employment, Relationships, Education, and Spiritual Development.
• We all have blind spots and assessments are a great way to figure out the root cause of an issue.
• Knowing your purpose helps you eliminate confusion. If you’re not sure in the moment, look for your purpose and redefine it if you have to.
• Everything is one decision away from what we want. Most of the decisions we make each day are made on autopilot but there are also decisions that we can control that can significantly improve our lives. There is usually a single decision you can make everyday that can change things for the better.
• Life is better when we show up being who we truly are. That way we don’t second guess who we are and are just content in the moment.
• Mike’s comeback shoutout goes to his first sponsor Mark Hertz.

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A quick check-in with Donny. A few words of inspiration and why sobriety is the best thing that ever happened to him.

Continuing to show up. 

Freedom from myself. 

8 years sober this Wednesday. 

#dothework 

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Holly Whitaker shares her struggle with substance abuse and addiction, and how her experience led her to creating the digital recovery program Tempest. Holly is on a mission to change the conversation about alcohol in society after realizing that her seemingly successful life was just a show, and that there is a different path to recovery available to everyone.

• Growing up, Holly’s life was fairly idyllic. Her mother was a stay-at-home mom and her father ran his own business. They lived a nice middle-class life but Holly has memories that something that wasn’t right. A big part of Holly’s recovery was identifying the incidents that put her on the path to struggling with substances.
• The biggest impact on Holly’s life happened when her parents got divorced after her father came out of the closet. This forced Holly to confront her own sexuality at a very young age and resulted in her and her mother struggling financially. Up to that point, Holly had always been industrious but that all changed after the divorce.
• It often doesn’t matter what your childhood was like. We can all end up in the same place.
• Holly’s first memory of pain was her early story of feeling like the “other” in her family. At a very young age, Holly experienced a significant feeling of not belonging anywhere.
• Holly’s experience with teachers was frustrating. As a high-energy child, Holly didn’t have a teacher who was invested in her development until high school. Her first teacher put Holly onto a trajectory of being disliked for many years.
• When we get close to the bottom, we can either stop and tell ourselves the truth of what’s happening or we can claw ourselves out and keep it going. Holly had many moments of being near rock bottom where she knew that she needed help to escape, but it took six months after her worst moment before she finally got sober.
• Trying to live up to the image of who she was told to be held Holly back from accepting that she wasn’t happy. It wasn’t until she realized that she had a choice. She could either keep the toxic relationships in her life and die, or sever those relationships that weren’t serving her.
• You don’t have to live up to other people’s standards. Be okay with being a mess. You have to work every single day on your own life, you will improve and you will encounter the same sorts of problems each day, just in a different form.
• Our values are the bedrock of who we are, and if we make decisions that are not in alignment with our core values, things get messy. If you know what you are and what you stand for, the criticism you receive won’t cut as deep. Knowing who you are creates a solid ground for you to stand on.
• Holly didn’t go to Alcoholics Anonymous until she was already six months sober. She started her recovery by researching alcohol and addiction and those books led her to other sources. Eventually she realized that there was something wrong with our society and alcohol’s place in it. The evidence pointed Holly to a choice to either keep drinking or invest in her recovery and learn how to stop. She went to AA because she was tired of being afraid of failing and it gave her a sense of community with people who were struggling with the same experiences as her.
• Holly created her company to put people instead of institutions at the center of the recovery process. She gathered all the different elements of recovery into one program.
• Historically, we used to believe that people suffering from addiction had lost the right to make decisions for themselves. The existing system often coerces people and takes away their choice instead of reminding people what they have forgotten.
• We help people by reminding them of things that they have forgotten, showing them the possibilities, and reminding them of the power that they have.
• Your hardest challenges are the ones that make you. They are the most fertile ground for growth that you can have.
• For Holly, being in recovery is part of her everyday life. She has to uphold the tenets of her recovery each day by doing the work and living as authentically as possible.
• Holly wrote her book not just for women, it’s meant for everyone because she wanted to change the conversation around alcohol. If we are talking about true liberation, we have to look at everything we are doing that is keeping us from our power.
• Everyone has something to be grateful for. Holly tries to practice gratitude for everything that comes her way because she knows it’s so easy to think we don’t need it.
• Learn to suffer. Suffering is not a mistake, the mistake is trying to cover it over with whatever you can.
• Holly’s friend Colleen gets her comeback story shoutout. Comeback stories are not just the before and after comparisons, they are also the stories of people who continue to stay with it and show up everyday.
• Holly’s life has been filled with ups and downs over the past 6 months and the one thing that has kept her centered has been meditation. She still resists meditation even a decade later but she still puts in the work because it’s worth the effort.
• You’re not trying to escape the cycle of substance abuse, you’re trying to have compassion for yourself. If you can love yourself, you change the way you treat yourself and won’t have to drink to escape your self-criticism.

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Learn about how Inky Johnson turned a career ending injury into a story of inspiration and personal growth. Inky shares his experience in dealing with an injury that completely changed his life and how he went from struggling to understand it to using it as a platform for spiritual growth and service to other people.

• Inky Johnson grew up in a city outside of Atlanta, born to a young mother of just 16 years of age. His early years were hard but they were some of the best years of his life. Growing up that way shaped and molded him, and gave him the motivation to improve his family’s life.
• Inky loved football growing up but he also played basketball, baseball, and competed in track and field sports. An influential coach helped him make the decision to pursue football seriously.
• The one thing we all have in common is that we will face opposition and adversity. One of Inky’s earliest memories of pain was experiencing a police raid when he was a child. He will never forget how that experience and ones like it shaped his decision making and choices as a young man.
• Inky’s first real teacher was his eighth grade teacher and basketball coach. He recalls a moment where his teacher told him that he was better than the environment he was growing up in. The teacher took Inky under his wing and began picking him up each day before school, teaching him proverbs, and encouraging Inky to write about his dreams, goals, and aspirations. He continued to do that throughout high school and it completely changed his life.
• Inky’s greatest moment of adversity happened when it looked like he was set to achieve everything that he wanted. During a simple practice, Inky suffered a life threatening injury and woke up in the emergency room, being told that his football career was over.
• The greatest challenge was in trying to understand. When a person goes through something that they don’t understand and is painful, it can prevent them from moving into their purpose. The opposition can be so heavy and strong that it makes seeing why and what you should do very difficult.
• Inky turned and faced his situation and instead of trying to understand it, he focused on just surviving it. Once he attained a certain level of peace around his new situation, he was able to accept it and see where it fit into his purpose.
• We all get to a point in the journey where we yield to our circumstances. Whenever you are going through something and trying to change your life, it’s a “you issue.” Don’t blame other people or circumstances, getting back into balance is down to you. Inky had to yield first to get to a place of understanding.
• Inky has been speaking for the past 14 years and the husband and father in him wouldn’t change what happened to him. He noticed that what happened to him started to affect other people and impacted their lives in positive ways. By serving a greater purpose than just himself, Inky has found an incredible amount of peace, which he is very grateful for.
• Purpose is about finding your natural gifts and talents and then using those to be of service to the world. For Inky, that means leaving the world better than he found it and leaving a legacy of action for his children.
• The beauty of opposition, adversity, and challenges are that they introduce us to who we really are and help us identify with other people and have a level of empathy for their struggles and their journeys.
• Inky’s comeback shoutout goes to his mother. She always let young Inky chase his dreams and gave him the space to pursue his goals.
• Never forget that you’re worthy and that all of us go through struggles. Three of the hardest words for a person to say are, “I need help.” Don’t go through it alone; ask for help and you may be surprised by the answer you get. Once you get through your struggle, find someone who is dealing with what you made it through and help them through it.
• It’s selfish of us to go through what we go through and to hold that experience to ourselves. We can only keep what we have by giving it away.

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inkyjohnson.com

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Internationally successful motivational speaker Trent Shelton talks about his story and struggle with fear and depression, and how his life changed completely once he accepted the power of his voice. Learn about the challenges Trent encountered during his professional football career and how those struggles became his message that he now shares with over 12 million followers every day.

• Trent grew up in the New Orleans area with his two older brothers and family. Sports were a major component of Trent’s life and his parents were always supportive of him and the things he pursued.
• One of Trent’s earliest memories of pain was because he was asthmatic and had a lot of difficulty breathing when he was younger. It was so bad that during one coughing episode Trent burst the blood vessels in his eyes. His mother drove him to the hospital where Trent stopped breathing and blacked out. He spent a week in the hospital and it was then that he realized how fragile life could be.
• Trent learned to never take life for granted and realized that God has a plan for his life. The pain was not there to break him, it was there to build him, and it gave Trent a lot of emotional resilience from a young age.
• Trent’s parents were his earliest teachers. He learned how to have faith and resilience from his mother and he learned how to be a supportive father and husband from his dad.
• Trent grew up across the street from people that went on to play professional football and that showed him the fruits of hard work. Hard work can make any reality and dream come true. Get around people that make your dreams tangible and make you feel like you can accomplish them.
• Trent found some success as an athlete when he was in school but during one of his first drafts, he found himself being left behind. Athletes put a tremendous amount of significance on their performance, and it was the first time in his life where Trent really felt like he wasn’t enough. A couple of weeks later, Trent was cut from the team.
• He went back to his parent’s place and sheltered himself. What you suppress will turn into your depression, that's what happened to Trent. For the following three years he lost himself in the journey to try to make it as a professional football player.
• Instead of the love of the game, everything was based on the fear of being cut for not living up to what people expected.
• It’s hard for athletes to look within and accept that they need to heal. The selfish season is about making sure you take the time for you so you can show up in your life in the way that your family or your team needs you to.
• It’s about doing the dark work, the work nobody sees. That can be reading books, listening to podcasts, taking care of your body, and having the difficult conversations you need to have. Selfish season is about burning whatever necessary bridges you need to burn, the ones that are leading your life to destruction.
• Fear controls so many people’s lives and it prevents people from becoming the person they were created to be. The fear of staying the same has to outweigh the fear of change.
• Failure is just a feedback sample. You have to look at the cost of inaction and what you’re going to pay for not pushing forward.
• Your perspective is under your control. It’s the window of how you see the world and it can be one of two things: the prison perspective or the power perspective. The prison perspective holds you back, the power perspective puts you in the driver’s seat.
• How you see life will determine how you feel about life, how you feel about life will determine what you do with your life, what you do with your life will determine what you get.
• The clarity of your perspective is determined by the quality of your practices. Self-love and self-care are crucial.
• No matter what you have, if you don’t fix yourself at a core level, you will still have nothing. Once the thrill of external things wears off, you will still have to deal with the pain.
• Trent hung onto his football career, not because he loved it, but because he didn’t know who he would be without it. In order to accept reality, he had to release it.
• Most of the time we try to solve things at a surface level. To harbour true strength, we need to conquer pain at its deepest level. Once Trent released his fears and the things holding him back, he began the process of repairing the holes left behind.
• Trent is an introvert so he did not expect himself to become a speaker. It wasn’t until a friend saw that Trent had something within him and encouraged him to speak to a group of high school kids did he discover what he was capable of.
• Your transparency can become someone else’s transformation. Realizing your past had a purpose can bring incredible healing to your life.
• You are more than your sport.
• Detach your emotions from the outcomes and strive to stay in the middle.
• At some point in your life, your moments turn to memories and memories are all you have. Fulfilling memories with the people that are closest to Trent are now the most important things in his life and what he’s most grateful for.
• Ask yourself why you feel like you are being held back. Is your fear really yours or did somebody give it to you? You have to understand where your mindset comes from before you can address it. Be open to working with other people who are willing to coach you and get around those people.
• There is nothing great you can do without a vision.
• If Trent could send a message to his younger self, it would be “It all starts with you.” We usually live in a blaming and complaining mindset, but if you want to change your life and be better you need to take responsibility for your life and take your power back.
• Trent’s mom gets his Comeback Story shoutout. She instilled faith and perseverance in Trent and taught him that there was always something bigger than him in his life.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Straight Up with Trent Shelton podcast

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Jon Gordon, best selling author and motivational speaker, shares his hard-won insights into happiness and fulfillment, and talks about the power of positivity in transforming your life. Learn how Jon escaped a life of misery and depression and turned his life around, by pursuing service instead of his ego and focusing on encouraging and inspiring one person at a time. 

• Jon grew up on Long Island New York in a Jewish-Italian family. It was not a very positive household overall and he often got into fights with other neighborhood kids. It often felt like he was battling for survival.
• He played lacrosse at Cornell University, where he learned about culture, leadership, and teamwork. He didn’t originally plan on playing lacrosse but an instrumental high school coach convinced him to stick with it and showed him that coaches can change your life forever.
• Basketball was always Jon’s favorite game, so the transition from lacrosse wasn’t the worst. The real challenge was when Jon’s wife almost left him when he was 31. He had experienced a rollercoaster of bouncing around between law school and a dot-com job and blamed her for the circumstances for his life. It wasn’t until she said she was leaving that he started to question why he was so miserable.
• He was addicted to trying to prove himself and earning the validity of someone successful. The more he chased that idea, the more miserable he became. Jon started taking walks of gratitude, praying, and meditation, and those things helped him escape the rut he was in.
• We are all addicted to something, and it’s not always the usual substances. Many people are addicted to their work, or their smartphone, or social media.
• Your past is a part of who you are and your soul has wounds that define you. For Jon, his biological father leaving was deeply impactful on him and shaped his attitude on life. A major life-changing moment for Jon was forgiving his biological father and letting go of the past.
• We all have wounds, and we all try to fill those wounds. Your wounds are your constraints and you can either heal them and rise above them or the wound can become infected.
• We are not strong enough on our own. That’s why every addiction program includes a higher power.
• The most important first step in Jon’s turn around from misery was in committing to serving others instead of just building up his ego. You become a person of significance when you make others significant. This became the foundation for Jon’s future work writing books, speaking, and sending out his weekly newsletter.
• Ironically, the greatest self growth strategy of all is to help others grow. When you are focused on yourself, you don’t grow very much but when you become a conduit for others, your growth rises to a whole other level.
• Jon wasn’t successful right away. His first book was rejected by 30 publishers and not one book store in the US would carry the book. He decided to go on a 20-city tour that he paid for himself to promote the book and even when there were only five people in the crowd he knew his mission was to encourage and inspire as many people as possible, one person at a time.
• When Covid hit, Jon went back to the rookie mindset and continued to push his vision, even though his talks were being cancelled left and right.
• When he got started, selling five million books was never the goal. It all comes back to what your intention is, where your heart is, and what you focus on.
• Don’t chase things to build up your ego.
• So many people struggle with feeling unworthy. People aren’t afraid of success, they feel like they are unworthy of success. When we forget who we are, we forget the power we have inside us.
• Would you choose to have a negative thought? Ideas and thoughts emerge from your subconscious all the time and some of them will discourage, distract, and divide you. Recognize those thoughts as lies and speak truth to them. Greatness and potential are within you and once you start speaking that to yourself, you will start walking with power.
• The key is to unite the self. This can be done with meditation, prayer, and mindfulness.
• Success is doing what you love and loving how you do it. Success doesn’t have to be tied to your performance, that’s the mistake that many athletes and professionals make. The fear of underperforming will drain you.
• Perform for an audience of one.
• The narrative of the universe is a battle of good versus evil. We are spiritual beings on a human journey and we each experience this epic struggle in our lives every day.
• We can always change our story. As a coach, you have to know the story someone tells themselves so that you can help them tell a better story.
• So often, our minds don’t need fixing, it’s our souls that need healing. No matter what is happening outside of us, it’s always about what is happening on the inside.
• Talk to yourself, but don’t always listen to yourself. Write down all the negative thoughts that come into your mind and then flip the paper over and write down words of encouragement. Make refuting your negative thoughts into a daily practice. Take small action steps each day to feed your positivity and at the end of the day think about what went right. What you look for you will find.

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jongordon.com

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Tim Storey, the acclaimed author, speaker, and life coach to world-famous celebrities and athletes, shares his wisdom on the Miracle Mentality that he wants everyone to be able to achieve. Learn how Tim helps his clients create their own comeback story through forgiveness and insight, and how you can use his teachings to better understand yourself and live a more full life.

• Tim Storey is known as the Comeback Coach and has helped a number of popular celebrities, business people, and athletes.
• Everyone is on a journey in life and begins with a lot of momentum, but we usually run into obstacles that we need to overcome, and it’s those life turning points that Tim helps people with.
• Structure was missing in Tim’s family because of financial stresses. It wasn’t until Tim was in 4th and 5th grade did his teachers really start to take notice of him and those teachers played a big part of his growth as a person.
• When you have a set back, you have choices. You can sit in it, you can settle, which is what most people do, you can cement yourself, or you can push through it. When you feel the sting of a set back, God is preparing the comeback.
• Tim recalls a memory of a race when he was in school where he forfeited his opportunity to win in order to help someone else who was having an asthma attack. That’s when he realized that he’s a humanitarian that will gladly give up his chance to win to help an underdog win.
• Sometimes you just have to sit with someone when they are in crisis. Tim is always looking for people he can help, regardless of who they are.
• Tim’s brother died from his addiction and that experience helped him understand that addiction is widespread and plenty of people need help.
• The average person nurses, curses, and rehearses their problems. To get past that, you have to be awake, take an inventory, and partner with the right people. That’s Tim’s strength. He’s not afraid to ask for help or get therapy if he needs to. He’s smart enough to know that he needs an infusion of strength into him as well.
• It’s rare that someone will change quickly. A slow transformation is the one that lasts.
• A lot of celebrities are surrounded by people who want to take advantage of them, so trust is always an issue. They face the same challenges as most people, but they get amplified by their celebrity status.
• There is a price to do what we do. The deeper Tim goes with someone, the more he needs to know in order to help them.
• Tim tells the story of a famous football player that believed that his problems were taking over his life, but when he went back to his childhood school, he reconnected with his innocence and put his life into perspective.
• We talk about triggers in recovery as a negative thing, but there are positive triggers as well. Tim triggers himself every day by reconnecting with the music of his childhood and that helps keep him grounded.
• A lot of what we are looking for is momentum, but there are a number of people that will come into our lives that will want to hold us back. Their offense towards you will put you on the defense and kill your momentum. If you’re too offended, you will pass by the things that really matter. You have to forgive in order to keep moving forward. Freedom comes from forgiveness.
• Not everyone will accept your apology. Not everybody is going to be supportive of your comeback story.
• Meditation has changed Tim’s life. Every morning, Tim prays and meditates which puts him in such a state of peace that people ask him what he does to stay so calm. Meditation allows Tim to stay calm, cool, and collected no matter what happens in his life.
• The Miracle Mentality is how we think when we’re kids, and we need to relearn how to release it to make great things happen.

Mentioned in this Episode:

The Miracle Mentality by Tim Storey

timstorey.com

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Alex Smith shares the story of how his promising NFL career was derailed by a broken leg which led to an infection which threatened everything. Hear how Alex found a new mindset while in recovery and rehab at the Center for the Intrepid and how he became the Comeback Player of the Year in 2020 after he was told he would probably never play football again.

• Alex grew up on the mean streets of San Diego as the third child of four. He was fortunate enough to have a supportive family and not really know adversity as a child.
• He distinctly remembered being frustrated in his youth, and his dad helped him cultivate the mindset of accepting that certain things will happen and how to move on. That helped Alex avoid being distracted from what he was trying to achieve and stay focused.
• It’s easy for us to have tunnel vision with what’s going on in our own lives. Alex’s parents helped him understand the wider vision which helped him be grateful for what he did have.
• After Alex left college, his best friend fell into a deep depression and ended up taking his own life. It was during a time where Alex was concerned with what was happening in his own life and he missed his chance to make contact with him. It’s one of the first big challenges in Alex’s life and one of the things he regrets.
• The more comfortable we can be with death, the more grateful we can be for each day that we are alive.
• Alex’s adversity begins with when he broke his leg. So much of his identity was wrapped up in being a football player and when infection set in and they had to remove so much of his leg, he wasn’t sure what his life was going to be like. It took months for him to come to terms with it and he had to relive it each morning when he woke up.
• The mental battle and doubt was the hardest part of Alex’s struggle. Seeing his kids live their lives kept Alex motivated to try to get his life back.
• The Center for the Intrepid is the center for all limb injuries and they offer treatment to civilians that have injuries that are deemed warlike enough. In return they get to study you so they can continue to improve their treatment and rehab process. It was there that Alex started his rehab and found a new outlook on life.
• The Center allowed Alex to enjoy the process of recovery and to focus on simply taking one step at a time. Putting all the focus on a single small step made it achievable instead of overwhelming.
• Alex struggled with the weight of the expectations he felt when he was first drafted and it became a self-perpetuating circle that was unhealthy and unproductive. He went from loving football to feeling like it was a burden. It wasn’t until he flipped his mindset and he realized that he needed to “just live” and enjoy the moment because it wasn’t going to last forever.
• The times when Alex doubted it was going to work out were just before something good came around the corner.
• “Just live” became a mantra for Alex and it’s the message he would send back to his younger self. Don’t try to be perfect or worry about other people’s validations.
• Being mindful and present in your life is how you accept the stresses and frustrations of life. Even in a sports context, being present is how you perform at the highest level.
• The main things in life you control are your effort and your attitude.
• Alex eventually returned to the football field once he had recovered enough. He was determined to see how far that road went and that it would have been disrespectful to walk away from the opportunity that was put in front of him.
• Alex’s comeback shoutout goes to his wife. She managed to keep their whole life going while he was getting through his recovery and has been extremely supportive.

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George Mumford shares the wisdom he has learned during his life as a coach to some of the highest performing athletes in history, and what he learned from his personal struggle with addiction and pain that nearly cost him everything.

• Michael Jordan credits George Mumford with the transformation of on-court leadership of the Chicago Bulls that led to 11 NBA National Championships. He has worked with a number of world-class athletes and helped them achieve at some of the highest levels of their sport.
• His coaching method is focused on the whole being approach and treating athletes as people instead of a performer.
• Principles are universal and timeless. They allow you to make choices that are aligned with the feedback that you get and let you live in recovery.
• George was one child of thirteen and remembers the theme of his childhood being “be seen, not heard”. He learned how to cope by living in his own personal world and holding his sensitivity within. He was injury-prone in school while playing sports because of the stress placed on his life.
• He found himself in a strange place where he had to mature quickly and know a lot about life, but without knowing what to do with them.
• In college, George realized that he could be more social when he was taking pain medication which led to an addiction to painkillers. That developed into alcoholism and drug abuse until his spiritual rock bottom.
• He went into a 21-day detox program and realized that the person that comes out of the program has to be different than the person that went in or nothing was going to change.
• One of George’s memories of pain involves his father humiliating him before his sister’s wedding. This experience made George feel like he couldn’t ever ask for what he needed and led to him becoming self-reliant. Trauma can take many subtle forms and understanding that is the only way to heal. In many ways, George’s father was just acting in the way that he was taught.
• People are doing the best they can with what they have. Seek to understand rather than be understood, and the best way to help yourself is to help others.
• George’s first real teacher was his grandmother. She would give him a card on his birthday and call him Master George, rather than simply George. At the time George didn’t understand what she meant she was trying to impart that he was equal to other people and beneath others.
• He also found a number of mentors growing up in the athletes he knew like Muhammad Ali and Jim Brown.
• In terms of comeback stories, George admires Frederick Douglas, Malcolm X, Nelson Mandela, and Harriet Tubman.
• We all have a masterpiece. Our job is to break through our shell and share our divinity with the world.
• The spirit is the life, the mind is the builder, and the physical is the result. George allowed the world to be his teacher because great men are open to new experiences and continued learning and growing.
• George encountered a number of struggles growing up, especially being injury prone and getting injured enough to lose his place on his sports team. It was a real challenge to be in school and not be an athlete because he didn’t know who he was at that point. He struggled considerably once his addiction got to the point where he realized that no matter how many drugs he was too much and not enough at the same time.
• After getting clean, George’s doctor explained to him that his nervous system never dealt with the world on the world’s terms. Once George was off the drugs he had to find an alternative solution to dealing with his pain which led him to meditation, mindfulness, yoga, and taichi.
• Instead of a curse, it was an opportunity to learn how to be with himself.
• George began listening to that small sensitive voice within himself while meditating and he realised that one of the things he was missing was being intellectually stimulated. For the past 36 years, George has read a book a week and began sharing the wisdom he’s learned. He wanted to learn as much as he could to help people see things as stepping stones instead of roadblocks.
• There are four steps to self-knowledge. The first is you are your own best teacher. The second is to be responsible with no excuses. The third is you can learn anything you want to learn. The fourth is that true understanding comes from reflecting on experience. Understanding and living this gives George more joy and purpose than he’s ever felt before.
• No matter who you are or how good you are, at some point your athletic career will end. When it does you will need to know who you are.
• George is committed to living now and enjoying the journey. He’s grateful for the opportunity to share what he’s learned and to continue to grow and evolve.
• What you develop spiritually is the only thing that will stick with you for your whole life. Winning isn’t about winning championships, it’s about knowing that you got better today.
• Pain comes from identifying what we do with who we are, so when we can’t play sports or lose our ability to perform we become lost.
• If George could send a message back to his younger self it would be “you can be anything you want to be” and “no struggle, no sweat.” Embrace whatever comes and believe it can be overcome.
• You need to integrate your darker self, but also choose to embrace the positive aspects of your mind. You can create a space between stimulus and response and control your habits. 90% of our long-term happiness is predicated on how our nervous system interprets our experience. You can choose to interpret things in a way that empowers you.
• If George had to shout out someone he would choose the avatars like Jesus Christ, the Buddha, Muhammed, and others. George focuses more on the wisdom of the teachings and the archetypes rather than individuals in particular.
• Any experience is an opportunity to learn profound teachings if the student is ready to learn.

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Get ready for a captivating exploration of self-discovery and transformation in this episode of Comeback Stories. Join your hosts, Darren Waller and Donny Starkins, along with their special guest, Zach Skow, as they uncover the incredible story of Zach's redemption, a journey profoundly shaped by the life-altering power of rescue dogs. As the co-founder of Marley's Mutts, Zach's personal experience with addiction inspired the creation of a transformative organization connecting dogs and incarcerated individuals.

During their discussion, Darren and Zach emphasize the search for purpose in life, spotlighting how Zach's devotion to rescue dogs has grown into his life's core mission. They take a deep dive into the transformative potential of dog rehabilitation and its profoundly positive impact on the dogs and the individuals participating in the program.

Take advantage of this inspiring conversation filled with raw emotion and heartfelt moments. Tune in to learn how Zach's story of redemption and the love of rescue dogs have become a beacon of hope and a catalyst for change. 

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DONNY STARKINS  

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Listen to the incredible story of Andre Norman, who went from violent prison kingpin to the Ambassador of Hope for thousands of people trapped in the cycle of incarceration. Learn about the key lesson that turned Andre’s life around and helped him escape his past of violence and trauma, and eventually become a Harvard fellow and respected leader who helps people overcome their own addictions and negative behavior.

• Andre had a rough childhood being raised in a household with violent parents. Early on, at the age of 9, Andre learned three lessons that went on to define his life. He ended up in prison because of those lessons.
• When you quit on everything positive, all that’s left is negativity, and negativity takes you to one of two places: prison or the graveyard. The lesson Andre learned about quitting is what led him to prison where he met thousands of people, all with essentially the same story as him.
• Andre became quite a skilled trumpet player in sixth grade, but he was forced to quit playing in order to keep his friends. This was the point where Andre gave up on his dream, and without it, his life took a dark turn.
• The opposite of addiction is connection. Some games you win by not playing, some of the scenarios we face in life we are choosing to play when we should be walking away from the table.
• As we grow up we start to make agreements with ourselves that lock us onto a particular path. We have to make space to make choices.
• Andre’s first really important teacher was his 3rd grade teacher. She taught him how to read and showed him the capacity he had and how to access it. On the negative side, Andre’s cousin taught him how to rob people and sell drugs at a high price.
• Being taught it’s okay to quit was foundational to the way Andre learned to live his life. We can only do what we see, and when we’re taught that drugs and alcohol are the solutions to our pain, it’s no wonder that’s what people resort to.
• Andre didn’t become an addict, he became violent as an outlet for the pain and trauma in his life. Addicts convince themselves they are okay and their reality is fine. Addiction is like being the frog in a slowly heating pot of water, eventually the water boils and you die. 80% of the problem is believing the false stories we tell ourselves.
• It was in prison where Andre started to see the truth of his situation and realized that he was the king of nowhere. The first thing he decided was to establish the goal of going to Harvard to begin the process of change.
• Andre started listing all the obstacles in his way and began working down the list improving the different problem areas in his life.
• If you are locked up in a scenario that is unhealthy for you, that is a complete waste of time. Without a purpose, you are wandering through life, but not really living. Andre understood that he needed to change his purpose if he wanted to change his life.
• There are millions of dollars being made behind the walls of prisons, trading in illegal contraband. The people who are lost in the system are struggling everyday for a share of this shadow economy.
• Being free is a concept that means you have the ability to impact people’s lives. It’s not about your ability to move around. Andre became free six months before he was let out of prison when he freed his mind.
• There is nothing more powerful than mental freedom. That’s when you understand that you are more powerful than bad days or addiction.
• Andre’s plans were initially all about him, but that’s not what life is about. A key mentor entered his life to show him that service is the key to getting out of your own way.
• For Andre, helping people stay alive supersedes the material aspects of life. The realization that he could actually save people’s lives became the core motivation for Andre’s work with the Academy of Hope.
• Two and half years ago, there was a riot in a prison in South Carolina where multiple people died. The administration locked down the whole prison to avoid retaliation and called Andre in after 5 months of lockdown. Andre spoke to the whole prison population in a voice they understood. He showed them the administration cared and drastically improved the situation.
• The prison system is not based on education, it’s based on punishment. One of the bigger initiatives of Andre’s organization is bringing in the great thinkers to the prisons and providing books that teach real, powerful lessons.
• If Andre could speak to the fifteen year old version of himself, he would tell him to find a professional counselor. He had real issues and needed professional help, in the same way you don’t go to your girlfriend for a toothache.
• When it comes to emotional issues and mental trauma, we often take the advice of people with no skill set. Counselling and therapy are the key, and when you go, you need to be 100% honest. When seeking help, the worst thing you can do is tell a lie.
• Once Andre determined that he was no longer a quitter, his whole life changed. It took him 25 years to accomplish his dream of graduating from Harvard but he never gave up.
• Andre’s comeback story shoutout goes to Gordon Hoss. He was the man who saw that Andre wasn’t going to quit and pointed Andre in the right direction. Gordon gave him the key to unlock his future.

Mentioned in this Episode:

andrenorman.com

cafeofhope.com

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Listen to James May as he tells the story of his life as a heroin and cocaine addict, and how he went from consistent run-ins with the wrong side of the law and a near-miss with a violent death, to accepting the truth of his situation and starting a treatment program for people in recovery.

• James is coming up on seven years in recovery from a crippling heroin and cocaine addiction. James grew up in a poor family in a wealthy neighborhood, and that mismatch had a profound impact on his life.
• His first run-in with the authorities was in 3rd grade after James set some toilet paper on fire in his school’s bathroom. As a child, James tried to find the approval of the wrong crowd and found himself stealing and vandalizing.
• James’ first memory of pain was from 2nd or 3rd grade, where he was humiliated and traumatized after being rejected from the girl he liked and deceived by who he thought he was a friend.
• The kids who made fun of James when he was younger became the target of his rage as he grew older, and one of the underlying reasons he began selling drugs was to try to ruin their lives.
• James’ grandfather was his first real teacher who showed him how to live well. No matter what happened in his life, James’ grandfather still showed up every day of his life. James’ grandparents were as much parents to him as his real mother and father.
• James started smoking marijuana in 8th grade, and that quickly escalated to oxycontin and other harder drugs in high school. He sold a considerable amount of drugs at that time and eventually went to jail for dealing drugs.
• James got arrested in 2008 and charged with a violation of the Georgia RICO Act. He was part of an operation that was selling marijuana and Xanax through the mail.
• After that incident was James’ first attempt to get sober. Unfortunately for him, James burned every bridge in his life and life became very dark. He developed a resentment towards God and ultimately was hoping to die from his drug use. This whole time was a three year period of despair.
• The biggest thing holding James back was accepting the truth of who he was and what was happening in his life. James believed that it was everyone else’s fault and wanted to prove everybody wrong. He was at odds with the world, and it wasn’t until he came to grips with the fact that he was molested as a child did James start the path to recovery.
• James’ lowest point was right before he got sober. He remembers a crazy interaction where his drug dealer got into a shootout, and shortly afterward James got pulled over and finally asked for help. After being in jail for two weeks and the withdrawal symptoms passed, James finally felt free.
• The reality was that James needed to change his pattern. The path of reconstruction and healing his wounds was the only way James could achieve peace in his life. Just stopping the drugs and alcohol wasn’t enough.
• None of us can do this alone. Even a star athlete has a support system around them that allows them to perform at that level.
• James’ life is now completely different. When he finally got sober James lived at a homeless shelter where he got the passion he has now to help others. He has made it his mission to help other people and started a sober living program for men. The program started slow but now it’s serving 50 to 60 people at a time.
• Service work is now the most important aspect of James’ life at the moment. The work is what gives James’ life meaning.
• James is most grateful for the guy or girl that wants to get sober. He has found a renewed belief in God and being able to help others recover is the fuel in James’ tank.
• If James could send a message back to himself it would be to keep going and not lose the drive. Stay humble, put your principles into practice, keep growing, and don’t put a limit on what God can do in your life.
• Don’t be afraid to ask for help. The biggest thing that holds people back is the judgment of the world. Addiction doesn’t define you, it’s just a journey to go through. Connection is a powerful piece of the recovery process.
• James’ comeback story shoutout is Spencer Stein, the person who went through the recovery process with James the first time and who is now James’ business partner in helping people.

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Seane Corn shares her experiences with childhood trauma and sexual abuse, and how that put her on a path of self-discovery. Listen to Seane’s story of growing up as a hypersensitive child with obsessive-compulsive behaviors that she used to manage her anxiety, pain, and grief, how she learned to process her emotions, and the teachers along the way that showed her how to release her anger and allow Seane to help others do the same.

• For Seane, growing up was complicated. On some levels, it could be considered the ideal childhood and at others, she felt unsafe, unprotected, and ungrounded. As a young person who was hypersensitive to the world Seane could feel when something was off.
• Due to the lack of support for her sensitivity and feelings, her natural reaction was to shut down and dissociate and create compulsive behaviors to try and regain control. Seane wouldn’t change her experiences because those complexities were what made her do the work to become who she is now but she would prefer people like her had more mentors to show her the way.
• Seane’s earliest memory of trauma was a sexual assault at the age of 6. As a result of that, she developed an obsessive-compulsive disorder which only became more exacerbated as she got older. What she wasn’t aware of was those compulsive patterns were a way for her to self-regulate her nervous system. Any time she felt anxiety, the patterns helped her feel calm, and this self-regulating effort developed into drug and alcohol consumption later on in her life.
• These survival mechanisms were a response to a trauma that wasn’t allowed space to discharge.
• It was once Seane moved away from home and lost her family support system that her random partying became more intensified. The patterning no longer staved off the anxiety and isolation, and drugs and alcohol became the only way to help her feel comfortable socially.
• Everyone in Seane’s life has been a significant teacher, including her abuser. The reason that Seane has so much self-awareness at this point in her life is that she went into therapy at the age of 18 and did the work.
• It wasn’t until she was in therapy that Seane even realized that the trauma of her childhood was the source of her compulsive behaviors. It was then that she understood that she was going to have to stop drinking and using drugs, to commit to sobriety at every level if she was going to heal.
• Your coping mechanisms work for a while but eventually they turn on you. They became the biggest obstacle from living the life you actually want. For Seane, the anxiety was always living in her body without ever being discharged or processed. This led to her always being triggered and seeking more control, which resulted in a vicious cycle of compulsive behavior.
• Sobriety is a lifelong journey. Seane’s patterning still comes up, but when it does, she recognizes it as anxiety and a need to breathe through the grief that’s underneath.
• Seane’s low point occurred when she was bartending and high on drugs to the point where she was genuinely scared she might die. She never wanted to experience that again. Seeing other people die from overdosing became a vivid visual example of her destiny had she continued down that path.
• Seane’s narrative continues to grow and evolve, even now. As a young person she just wanted to be liked and accepted, and love and hurt became synonymous. She had to work very hard to reclaim her love and beauty and separate it from her pain.
• The more that cultivate self-esteem, the more in relationship we will be to spirit. Otherwise, we look to the external world for validation and will never feel fulfilled.
• All the moments that invoke the shadow is what gives us fodder to learn about the light that teaches us patience, acceptance, and love. Life is a constant process of dismantling our identities so that we can continue to move into the right relationship with our highest essence.
• Your identities and narratives aren’t bad. They serve a purpose and a part of the essential journey we are all on.
• Once we own our wound we can write the ending of our story. Until then, the wound will hijack your life.
• Seane is deeply grateful to be part of a community that is helping break the shame and pain that many people have. In a world damaged by trauma, many people are responding to hate with hate, and it’s an important time to be able to show the world another way.
• If Seane could send back 140 characters to her younger self her message would be to simply cry. Her suppressed grief manifested into rage and other problems and she often wonders that if her younger self had space to cry would her path have changed. She would also want her to know that she will be okay and that pain is inevitable, but suffering is a choice.
• Seane has two comeback story shoutouts. The first is her mother, as someone who showed her what a strong, independent, fiery woman could look like. The second is her teacher Mona Miller, who was the first person to teach her anger work and help Seane develop her relationship with God.

Mentioned in this Episode:

SeaneCorn.com

Revolution of the Soul by Seane Corn - https://www.amazon.ca/Revolution-Soul-Through-Radical-Conscious/dp/1622039173

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Tyrann Mathieu talks about how his childhood without parents shaped his life and how he realized that chasing the love of other people was taking him in the wrong direction. Learn how Tyrann almost lost everything, and how he changed the narrative so that experience would drive him to even greater success.

• Growing up for Tyrann was a mix of both worlds. His parents weren’t around because his father was in prison for murder and his mother wasn’t responsible enough to raise him on her own.
• Tyrann was raised mainly by his grandparents and aunt and uncle. Tyrann remembers asking his mother why he didn’t live with her and she couldn’t provide an answer, which has always been a source of pain for him.
• It was lucky for Tyrann that his grandmother instilled structure in his life because that allowed him to get into sports and stay out of trouble.
• The pain of his relationship with his mother still comes up, but he reminds himself that he’s not in that situation anymore and it shouldn’t determine his life.
• An early memory of pain was when Tyrann’s grandmother sent him to live with his uncle. At the time he didn’t realize why she did it, but looking back on it now he can see that it was probably the best thing she could have done for him.
• If you can shift your perspective you can find meaning in your pain. It’s not the event that happens, it’s the meaning that we attach to it.
• Tyrann’s high school coach was his first real teacher. He made Tyrann realize that football could take him places if he took it seriously, and could be the foundation for a greater mission.
• If that particular teacher had not come into Tyrann’s life he would not have chased his dreams the way he did.
• Tyrann’s fall from grace was in being kicked out of school and not being able to play football. Not having football in his life forced Tyrann to put his trust in himself, and a lot of his success in the NFL he attributes to that early struggle.
• The lies that Tyrann told himself were the things that held him back. Tyrann wanted people to believe in him and to feel like he was enough for them.
• We have to go through those low moments to find the real answers in our life.
• Going to jail for possession of marijuana was where Tyrann realized that everyone was watching him and he let people down.
• Tyrann had to stop chasing love from the people in his life before he could start telling his comeback story. We all have the story in our heads where we are not enough.
• Tyrann had to stop believing what other people were telling him and believe in himself. If we don’t address the narrative of not feeling enough you’re going to get stuck and it won’t matter what success you have in your life.
• If that feeling is hijacking your mind you will never escape the feeling of inadequacy. Much of what we are experiencing in the world right now is a result of unfaced fear and unresolved trauma.
• Tyrann is most grateful for his children and being able to give them the life that he never had. The things we can’t put a price on are things we become the most grateful for.
• If Tyrann could send a message to his younger self it would be to keep going and to smile first.
• As a kid, he didn’t know that people were looking to him for inspiration and that there is value in pushing forward for more than just yourself.
• Trust in the process and enjoy the journey.
• Don’t just crush your goals, have a good time doing it.
• If you feel like you are being held back, dig deep and take the blame off others. Figure out what your part in your situation is your responsibility and what you can do about it.
• Patrick Peterson was one of the first people to believe Tyrann was an elite talent and helped him believe that about himself.
• Having Patrick in his life has given Tyrann someone to look to for inspiration.
• For those days where you are struggling to find gratitude, think about the people that have always been there for you.
• Your comeback story is not about freedom for yourself, it’s about freedom from yourself. Being patient and accepting of yourself is the beginning of self-love.

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Donny Starkins reveals his journey from a star baseball player with the world and success ahead of him to a drug addict that couldn’t escape his pain until he hit rock bottom. Find out how Donny realized he needed help, and how his experience with drug addiction and pain allows him to help other people free themselves from addiction and tell their own comeback story.

• Donny’s childhood was easy and his parents always tried to make the best of a bad situation. Sports came easily to him and one of his early dreams was to play professional baseball.
• He ended up playing at Arizona State, the same school as his father, where he suffered multiple injuries to his knee. His fifth surgery was experimental and resulted in unbearable pain, to the point where Donny realized that he would never play baseball again which sent him into a downward spiral of addiction to pain medication.
• He avoided physically hurting anyone else over the course of his addiction other than himself. Even after overdosing in Mexico and having his brother-in-law pick him up in the middle of the night, Donny still didn’t believe that he had a problem.
• His family wanted to help so Donny went into Alcoholics Anonymous solely to get his family off his back. It took a lot more pain and worry before Donny finally surrendered and accepted the fact that he had a problem. That was when he started to really hear the message that people were sharing during the meetings.
• After three and half years sober Donny had a relapse because he stopped doing the work. Another knee injury led to Donny relapsing for 8 months. At the time, Donny felt ashamed for relapsing, but now he looks back on that as a major turning point in his life.
• An early memory of pain for Donny was waking up from that surgery and losing his purpose. Baseball had been Donny’s life up to that point and he didn’t want to feel the emotional pain of that loss. The void was filled by taking pills.
• Another painful memory is not being present with his grandfather before he passed away. It wasn’t until after his death was Donny able to make amends.
• You need to show up for your family and friends, and when you do that it’s like living amends and it releases the shame and guilt of the past.
• Donny’s first teacher was his father. His father kept Donny humble and showed him the benefits of thinking about the game of baseball differently. He taught him that you never know who’s watching and you always have to give 100%, which ultimately led to Donny landing scholarships.
• Accepting the change from baseball star to drug addict was extremely difficult and prevented Donny from getting help and getting sober.
• The feeling of neutrality and indifference to the substance he was addicted to was one of the biggest reliefs and spiritual experiences of his life. It was his unwillingness and ego that were holding him back from experiencing that.
• The overdose was not the lowest point in Donny’s life. Donny’s lowest point is a memory of waking up and the very first thing he wanted was to take his pills. At that point, everything in Donny’s life revolved around getting pills. He isolated himself from everyone else in his life and his only friend was his dog.
• Donny made a lot of bad decisions that hurt a number of people in his life. He felt buried by his guilt and shame, and it wasn’t until he released that shame did Donny get access to a higher purpose for his life.
• Your mess is your message. Donny’s experiences and pain allow him to help other people through their own pain and tell their own comeback story.
• Gratitude changes the way we see the world. Donny is grateful to be sober because without that every other good thing in his life goes away.
• Yoga has also become an important aspect of Donny’s life. After a lifetime of thinking yoga was not for him, Donny took one class and realized that he was going to do yoga for the rest of his life. The greatest gift, beyond the physical benefits, has been the relationships and people that Donny has been able to meet because of his yoga practice.
• If Donny could share something with his younger self it would be: Know your values, live your values, love yourself first, you’re here to serve so share your gifts with the world.
• Donny never understood his values growing up, but by knowing his values now he knows exactly who he is.
• Fill your own cup first. It’s selfish not to do what you need to do to feel full, because by avoiding self care you are not able to give more to others.
• The only story that matters is the one we tell ourselves. Our thoughts create our reality and we can change that by changing the story we tell ourselves.

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Darren Waller (Las Vegas Raiders, tight end) delivers an incredible message in the inaugural episode of the Comeback Stories podcast and talks about his struggle with addiction and drugs and how his life story and struggle has transformed into his most powerful asset. Learn how even an accomplished professional football player can struggle with doubt and anxiety, and why the story you tell yourself is the only one that matters. 

• Growing up for Darren was confusing. He was blessed with a good family, a good neighborhood, intelligence, and athleticism, but he was always sensitive to the harsh words of other people.
• Despite access to a number of resources, Darren found himself going down a dark path.
• Darren grew up in suburban Atlanta, Georgia playing a number of sports with the friends he grew up with. His earliest memory of pain is being told that he wasn’t black enough by his peers. He adopted that as truth when he was younger and didn’t realize the pain that it would cause him throughout his life. Even now, Darren still struggles with doubt despite being one of the best players in the game.
• Pain is part of the shared human experience. If you’re alive, you’re going to go through the pain and that is what connects us and is the essence of common humanity.
• Darren’s first real teacher was his father. He saw the way his dad treated his mom and respected her, and that became the template for how Darren treated women in his own life.
• In terms of balance, Darren understands that no matter how well things are going, they could get worse, and if things are going badly they will eventually get better.
• The way that Darren’s father loved him is how Darren thinks about his other relationships and it allows him to live a better life because of it.
• The feeling of not being good enough led to Darren trying to earn people’s approval by becoming better at football, and it was around that time that he started experimenting with drugs in an effort to escape the anxiety of trying to please people all the time.
• As his football skills improved, Darren felt worse and worse internally. After becoming a pro athlete, instead of feeling better the anxiety and pain only got worse and his drug use increased exponentially.
• The status and lifestyle were something he thought he wanted but none of it gave Darren happiness or peace. Darren ended up sabotaging his own success and getting suspended from the team. He had to go through the process of recovery and relearn the value of hard work before getting another chance at football a few years later.
• The biggest thing holding Darren back was trying to get approval and respect from others before he showed it to himself. Other people’s approval was either making or breaking him and he had to shed that mindset to stop trying to fill the void inside himself with other people’s approval.
• Darren’s lowest point was fourfold: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. It was August 11, 2017, when Darren overdosed in his Jeep. He had said that he had changed but his behaviors didn’t match the declaration. He ended up reliving all the pain he had been trying to mask in his life and that’s when he realized he had to change his life completely.
• If you’re at your lowest point, you’re not alone. Darren had to stop telling himself that what makes him different is what is wrong with him.
• The real story is what makes him different is what makes him special. He had to free himself from giving his power away to other people.
• All that arises starts with our thoughts. You can train your mind to work with you instead of against you. Darren is grateful for his recovery because so much has come because of it. By surrendering all the things that he thought would make his life worth something, he has allowed himself to learn and grow in ways that weren’t possible before. All the things that Darren was afraid to talk about have become his greatest asset. Just because you’re striving for greatness that doesn’t mean that you have to be perfect.
• Choose progress over perfection every day. Being authentic and sharing your story, complete with imperfections and mess, connects you more than trying to project a fake facade. Darren’s life used to consist of hiding nearly everything about him in the belief that it would make him feel free, but he’s done hiding.
• As people, we tend to see others clearly but we’re not able to see ourselves very well. We need to be around other people that want the best for us and who are willing to guide us when we need it. If you’re not addressing your fear you’re going to keep getting the same results in your life.
• Look at your pain and fear and figure out what it’s teaching you. In the depths of his addiction, Darren’s greatest fear was having other people see him the way he saw himself. He bent his life around making sure that other people told him what he wanted to hear instead of what he needed to hear.
• Fear is now an opportunity for Darren to trust himself and his belief that he’s doing the right thing.
• Fear is now an opportunity to be the best he can be. We’re all recovering from something right now.
• We all have a comeback story within us, and sometimes we have to change our story to make something new happen.

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Here's the first minute of Comeback Stories.  Launches 2/4/21.

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Step into a world of personal growth and unwavering faith as hosts Darren and Donny welcome Deborah Joy Winans. In this episode, Deborah brings her extraordinary journey to life, imparting the wisdom she gained from turning 40, surmounting life's hurdles, and uncovering the transformative force of self-love. Deborah's remarkable strength shines as she candidly discusses her personal battle to conquer a challenging pregnancy. Join us for an episode of 'Comeback Stories' that promises to enrich your soul and renew your sense of self-love and faith. Deborah Joy Winans' heartfelt words will remind you that, regardless of life's challenges, you are indeed on the right path and cherished unconditionally.

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In this thought-provoking episode, we embark on a journey into the heart of leadership. Join Darren and Donny as they share their incredible stories of self-discovery and transformation. Learn how their past mistakes and moments of selfishness have become the very building blocks of their inspiring journeys as purpose-driven leaders. This conversation is a testament to the remarkable transformation that is possible when we lead with heart and purpose.

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Co-founder of Sacred Sons Aubert Bastiat doesn't hold back when catching up with Darren and Donny. Aubert courageously revisits the night he nearly ended his life but instead started a relationship with God. He also grieves his sister, who died by suicide, and outlines how he transformed his pain into guiding others toward peace.

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In this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren and Donny reunite with Trent Shelton, the former NFL player who reshaped his life as a motivational speaker. Join them as they revisit Trent's upbringing in New Orleans and the transformative moments that defined his journey. Delve into 'the dark work' as Trent and Darren share their personal battles with instant gratification and self-numbing. Trent's poignant reflections on coping with the loss of his mother provide profound insights into the 'art of fulfillment.' Don't miss this empowering episode that encourages you to release your potential and rekindle your passion for life.

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Join Darren and Donny for an insightful discussion on the art of being present. In this episode, they explore the significance of using physical reminders to stay grounded in the moment, including Donny's tattoo and Darren's jersey number change. Listen as they share personal anecdotes, drawing parallels between their experiences and their strategies for managing stress and impulsive behaviors. Gain valuable insights from Darren's perspective as the "new kid" with the New York Giants and Donny's candid journey to overcome mindless eating and endless scrolling.

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ESPN Senior NFL Insider Adam Schefter calls the show while driving to the airport — a perfect glimpse into a day in the life of America's foremost football news-breaker. He takes Darren and Donny back to the beginning, explaining how he stumbled into his renowned journalism career by accident after a series of rejections. Darren is curious about how Schefter deals with pressure, and Donny gives Adam the space to honor Joe Maio, his wife's former husband who tragically died on 9/11 and is the subject of his The Man I Never Met memoir. Before jetting off (literally), Adam defines what "comeback" means to him. 

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New Orleans Saints tight end Foster Moreau reunites with Darren after they both left the Las Vegas Raiders in the offseason. Foster admits why he hasn't come on the podcast before now and how his perspective has shifted. When Foster began exploring free agency, he was focused on the frustrating tight end market, but that all changed when his visit to the Saints uncovered a rare form of Hodgkin's lymphoma. Foster walks Darren and Donny through every painful and revelatory detail, and Darren recalls the moment Foster told him about his diagnosis. Donny and Foster also give Darren his flowers for being such a steadying presence in their lives. Now in remission, Foster looks ahead and unpacks his complicated emotions around suiting up for his hometown team.

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Uncover the untold story of rapper Armani White’s journey from West Philly to the center stage as he shatters misconceptions of instant success with his hit “Billie Eilish.” Join hosts Darren and Donny as they delve into Armani's resilience in the face of adversity - overcoming house fires, relentless house fires, relentless gun violence, his father's battle with cancer, and discovering how Armani, through vulnerability, learned to embrace bravery, celebrating small victories while embracing the uncertain future. Discover how music and fitness served as therapeutic outlets for Darren and Armani, and watch as Donny reveals Darren’s rap talents.

0:00 - In West Philadelphia Born and Raised

9:48 - The Seed of Inspiration

24:23 - Planting Your Feet

41:20 - Get Out of Your Own Way

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Join Darren and Donny as they sit down with Graham Mertz, the University of Florida's quarterback, in an episode filled with inspiration and resilience. Discover Graham's journey from a football-loving youngster to overcoming self-doubt and finding faith. He emphasizes the joy of serving others and the importance of leaving a meaningful legacy. Tune in as Graham shares his wisdom on goal-setting, fulfillment, and how his love for golf aligns with life and football.

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Co-Founder of Inflection Point Entertainment and esteemed sports journalist Michael Smith takes Darren and Donny on a deeply personal journey, sharing stories from his days as a church kid in New Orleans to becoming a trailblazing sports host and analyst. Michael reveals how he overcame professional obstacles, navigated change, and ultimately found empowerment in launching a production company and The Inflection Network. Michael’s “comeback” story is one of passion, persistence, and proper perspective.

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Comeback Stories hosted by New York Giants tight end Darren Waller and mental health and mindfulness coach Donny Starkins is back! And we’re proud to announce we’re part of Michael Smith’s Inflection Point Entertainment's new podcast network family!

On this episode entitled, “Back Like We Never Left,” Darren and Donny come back together after a summer full of change. After a trade from the Las Vegas Raiders to the New York Giants, Darren shares how he's adapting to his new surroundings while maintaining his recovery and healthy habits. Donny also gives an update on evolutions in his life.

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“Comeback Stories,” hosted by New York Giants tight end Darren Waller and mental health and mindfulness coach Donny Starkins, joins Michael Smith’s Inflection Point Entertainment's new podcast network with the debut of a new third season.

The show will continue to spotlight real-life tales of resiliency including insight into the hosts’ ongoing recovery journeys and interviews with guests whose stories illustrate a broad spectrum of “comeback” stories.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined virtually by Steven Pressfield, an American author of historical fiction, non-fiction, and screenplays, for a part 2!

Steven is filled with so much knowledge and continues to share all that he has learned in this journey called life. In this episode Darren, Donny, and Steven talk about how desperation saved them, making the most out of the time you have here on earth, getting uncomfortable, being selfless, and so much more! 

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined by Steven Pressfield, an American author of historical fiction, non-fiction, and screenplays, including his 1995 novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance, and 2002 non-fiction book, The War of Art. The War of Art has sold over a million copies globally and has been translated into multiple languages.

He joins Comeback Stories to share the process of becoming an author and the lessons he's learned along the way. Steven wrote for 27 years before he got his first novel published, he was 55. During those previous years, he worked 21 different jobs in 11 different states. Steven also goes into great depth about how resistance has been his greatest motivation.

Today Steven has written over 20 books, some of which are best-sellers, some that have been turned into movies, and many that have changed the lives of those who read them.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined by Emmanuel Acho, a former NFL linebacker turned analyst for Fox Sports 1. Emmanuel shares how his story as a Nigerian-American shaped his childhood and his father's continuous impact as an adult. 

He then explains how he was able to partner with Oprah on his book, “Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man” as well as work with a mystery caller who pushed him to find his purpose as a communicator and fine-tune his revelations to those who will listen.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined virtually by Austin Ekeler, a top running back in the NFL. In the last two seasons, Austin has led all running backs and wide receivers in touchdowns and has become the most valuable player in the fantasy football community.

He joins Comeback Stories to share a little about his childhood and how growing up in his household helped him develop mental toughness at an early age. Austin credits how gaining that mental toughness early on as why he is as successful as he is today. He also walks us through his underdog story and how growing up his size he was constantly overlooked and doubted. 

Austin has a relentless work ethic in the gym and is passionate about prioritizing his mental health and physical fitness. He shares his take on the importance of working hard and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone in order to achieve the goals you set out for yourself.

Austin also has a heart for helping others and started the Austin Ekeler Foundation with the mission to help create opportunities for people to fulfill their passions and ultimately their lives. He is now heading into his 7th season in the NFL and is excited to see where he is going to end up next. 

Whatever locker room gets him is a lucky one!

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined virtually by CC Sabathia, a former MLB pitcher, six-time All-star, Cy Young Award Winner, and 2009 World Series Champion. CC talks about how his childhood and being so young in such a big game led him to become an alcoholic. CC details his battles with losing his father, depression, alcohol dependency, and lack of identity during what should've been the peak of his career.

He then describes what led him to the point where he was fed up and offers his experiences and perspectives for anyone currently trapped in a similar situation. He provides hope that there is another side to this thing!

CC has now been sober for seven years and is co-hosting a podcast called “R2C2,” he is passionate about helping inner-city kids through his foundation and works to stop the stigma around mental health and alcohol dependency. 

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny welcome David Nurse, a 2x best-selling author, and speaker. David is known for his expertise in player development and mental toughness, with his motivational coaching business, he has helped thousands of employees and athletes develop unshakeable mindsets. 

David breaks down how he bounced back after being cut from his semi-pro team, and the impact his family had on him. He then describes how to leave the fear of other people's opinions off the court

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny welcome Napheesa Collier, 2x WNBA All-Star & 2019 WNBA Rookie of the Year. Napheesa talks about the competitive drive instilled in her at a young age, and how her determination took her to UCONN where she sharpened her skills against the best of the best. She details the mindset of being "too black for the white people, and too white for the black people", and how that can lead mixed-race children to become people pleasers.

Napheesa explains the challenges female athletes face on the road to motherhood, and how the blessings of a child outweighs any potential negative effects on a career. She then describes how she finds the time to take care of herself mentally, while keeping a tight schedule for her daughter.

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Join us for a profound exploration of self-discovery and empowerment with BC Serna on the newest episode of Comeback Stories Podcast. Darren and Donny engage in an stirring conversation with BC, uncovering the adversities he faced in his early years, his relentless pursuit of belonging, and the pivotal moments that fueled his unwavering journey towards leadership. BC's introspective journey from a nomadic lifestyle to embracing fatherhood resonates deeply, echoing profound gratitude for the chance to inspire and nurture connections. It serves as a testament to the innate potential within us all to unearth purpose and cultivate impactful relationships. This episode is a catalyst for emotional reflection and resilience, urging you to craft your own triumphant comeback story.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny welcome Branden Collinsworth, Nike Master Trainer, yoga instructor, human performance coach & compassionate humanitarian. Branden explains his journey "from the streets to the sky" drawing on life lessons learned while growing up in the projects on the East Side of Las Vegas. Brandon talks about becoming an addict at a young age, dropping out of high school and how immersing himself in literature turned his life around.

Branden dives deep into his evolving yoga practice and how you should strive to separate the physical benefits from the mental. He reinforces how yoga can help you find your true self if you show up with intention, compassion and a purpose of inching toward enlightenment.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny catch up once again with Zac Clark, star of ABC's The Bachelorette & founder of Release Recovery. Zac begins by explaining how a new year can be an opportunity to reset priorities and center yourself around areas of growth. He talks about the full spectrum of relationships, and applying principles of close connections to even people seeking autographs or selfies with him.

Zac talks about being real and opening up on The Bachelorette, and how he became well conditioned to break himself down after therapy. He then describes the art of "The Comeback" and how we all make mistakes, but the beauty lies within the opportunities we have to embrace those mistakes and bounce back better.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined by Eben Britton, a former NFL offensive lineman, health advocate, cannabis activist & host of The Eben Flow podcast. Eben describes growing up as a child of divorce, and how pressure quickly mounted to be the "alpha" of the household at a young age. Eben explains how he then found an escape in athletics, and believed that "doing battle" usually solved all his problems.

Eben talks about having a "thinking disease" being in a family line of alcoholics, and how a transformative treatment helped him gain a real sense of hope. Eben explains how he now values time above all, and how turning to hot yoga & psychedelics enriches his life today.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined by Zion Clark, an All-American / world record-holding athlete, actor & musician. Zion talks about being born without legs (caudal regression syndrome), getting bullied and having those experiences drive him to sports & wrestling specifically. Zion says one specific coach and his family embraced his disability and gave him the positive outlook to flip his perceived weakness into a strength.

Zion talks about the success of becoming the first in his family to go to college, and the realization that dropping out was his true path to happiness. He ends the conversation by explaining his routine to keep mentally sound amongst all the different roles he's taken on recently.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined by Zay Jones, a former teammate of Darren's who now plays for the Jacksonville Jaguars. Zay talks about his upbringing in a house with five siblings and how his parents' sacrifices paved the way for his success. He goes on to describe how injuries, unwanted criticism and an arrest in his early NFL years had his career flashing before his eyes.

Zay reveals how those hardships turned into his strength and how he uses that energy to serve & support other teammates. Zay talks about the rigors of football and how love & positivity on the field can have a ripple effect on other aspects of life.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined by Michael Vick, 4x Pro Bowl Quarterback and the NFL's 2010 Comeback Player of the Year. Michael starts by talking about his childhood and burying the trauma of physical abuse while being raised in a rough neighborhood. He then goes on to recount how football gave him a purpose, and how the community supported his eventual journey through college and into the NFL.

Michael talks about how his swelling arrogance as a star player led to eventual imprisonment, where his perspective on family and freedom did a complete 180 degree turn. Michael describes how he's made it a point to change lives through working with charities like the Vick Family Dream Fund and Boys & Girls Clubs of the Virginia Peninsula.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined by Neal Brennan, a comedian, writer, producer, director & podcaster. Neal talks about his days creating, writing & producing Chappelle's Show, and how his life suddenly changed when the show came to an abrupt halt. Neal talks about achieving goals and the toll that road to success can take on a successful person's mind & body.

Neal talks about his podcast, highlighting career and mental health "blocks" for some of the most famous comics, and the concept of how male vulnerability is changing in today's modern society. Neal also talks about going from believing nothing, to almost believing anything when it comes to the world of healing...no matter how embarrassing it may be!

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined once again by Mark Groves, human connection specialist, host of The Mark Groves Podcast & founder of Create the Love. Mark picks up where he left off in talking about becoming best friends with yourself and aligning your choices with your values.

Mark talks about relationships, and how men can embrace feedback from their partners in a way that leads to evolution. He talks about being a good friend when someone goes through a bad breakup, and how keeping your distance may foster a quicker/healthier recovery through the grieving process.

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On this episode of Comeback Stories, Darren & Donny are joined by Mark Groves, human connection specialist, host of The Mark Groves Podcast & founder of Create the Love. Mark starts by recounting his childhood, and how weight & appearance issues turned him into a people pleaser. Mark says in today's world men aren't supposed to be emotional, but in fact that's exactly what men need to exhibit more consistently.

Mark talks about learning through relationships and how every connection needs to be nurtured in a very unique way. He also reveals a "sensitivity superpower" and how it becomes a method of celebrating love.

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