Coaching Culture with Ben Herring – Details, episodes & analysis

What if the best parenting lessons come from the locker room—and the sharpest coaching insights come from home? I share how a sudden end to a playing career and the birth of my first child collided, starting a sixteen-year stretch where coaching and parenting ran in parallel and taught me the same truths about growth, standards, and care.

We unpack tough love the right way: not harshness, but honest care with clear expectations. I explain how to deliver hard feedback without breeding resentment—whether it’s a non-selection talk with an athlete or a boundary with a teenager—by building real rapport before you need it. You’ll hear simple rituals that make a big difference, like one-on-one walks, hot chocolate chats, and pre-practice conversations about life that signal, I see you and I’ve got your back. When people know you care, facts can be heard even when feelings run hot.

Tone control becomes the secret weapon. If you yell all the time, no one hears you when it counts. If you vary your delivery and save your strongest voice for true urgency, your words land. I share practical ways to build that range—yes, even Toastmasters—so your voice works like an instrument, not a siren. From there, we focus on culture: creating environments that invite ownership, encourage experimentation, and make people proud to be part of the team. The target is simple and bold—be the coach or parent they’re proud of, not because you were easy, but because you were fair, consistent, and deeply invested in their growth.

If you’re raising kids, leading athletes, or both, this conversation gives you a usable framework: build rapport, shape tone, and lead for long-term pride. If something here sparked a shift for you, subscribe, share this with a friend, and tell me what you’ll try this week. Your reflection might become the next topic—drop me a message on LinkedIn and let’s keep growing together.

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What if the best culture you ever built came after a 90-point loss? That’s not a stunt—it’s the backbone of our Sunwolves story, where people, not facilities, carried an underdog through brutal travel, language barriers, and constant roster churn.

We dig into a season that forced clarity. With 13 cultural backgrounds and minimal prep, we taught through images and objects, opened meetings with music, and played noughts-and-crosses to train communication and poise. We asked players to share three personal facts so the room saw humans first, jerseys second. Then we redefined success: not chasing wins we couldn’t control, but tracking meaningful improvement across four-week blocks—smaller losing margins, more tries created, defensive effort counted honestly. After a tough day at Loftus, we sang the team song anyway, then beat the Bulls weeks later in Tokyo. That wasn’t luck; it was a deliberate culture choice.

You’ll hear how leadership language shapes buy-in, why “aces in their places” prevents personality overload, and how individualized coaching can turn a senior skeptic into your strongest messenger. We talk coach self-awareness under stress—who runs to novelty, who doubles down on basics—and how blending both keeps a team stable. And we follow Sam’s journey beyond pro rugby into Polynesian youth pathways, where identity and skill development meet. When young players see role models who share their blood and story, their effort deepens and their ceiling rises.

If you lead a team in sport, business, or anywhere people perform under pressure, this conversation is a playbook: actions over slogans, rituals that lower stress, success defined by improvement, and connection that outlives the scoreboard. If this resonated, subscribe, share it with a coach or teammate, and leave a review telling us your favorite culture ritual—we’ll feature the best on a future show.

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The hardest weeks test more than your game model—they test your culture. When results wobble and the temptation is to drown the room in clips, we take a different route: start with why, connect the people, and then coach the work. Drawing on stories from pro rugby and lessons from coaches who’ve been in the fire for decades, we map out five anchors that keep a team steady when the scoreboard isn’t your friend.

We begin by reshaping the meeting everyone dreads. Instead of leading with 34 errors, we set a clear purpose for the week—restore pride, honor the jersey, make amends to supporters—so the details serve a shared why. From there, we explore belonging before pressure, showing how the best coaches switch cleanly from fierce feedback to warm human connection, making criticism about craft, not worth. The conversation then moves to growth before outcomes, using smart film work to find repeatable actions after wins and losses alike, so the session plan becomes a lever, not a lecture.

Leadership gets a rethink too. Rather than clutching the reins, we seed “leaders everywhere”: primed players take the floor in reviews, speak with confidence, and spread accountability across the group. And we close by protecting joy—the secret fuel in a collision sport that asks people to put their bodies in dark places. With an on/off training rhythm, sharp intensity at the whistle and laughter between sets, teams build bonds that endure pressure and perform when it counts.

If you’re a coach or leader who wants a room that stays connected, learns fast, and doesn’t fracture after a tough weekend, this one’s for you. Subscribe, share it with a fellow coach, and leave a review with the anchor you’ll try first—purpose, belonging, growth, leadership, or joy.

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What transforms a drinking club with a rugby problem into championship winners? According to Alando Soakai, it begins with crystal-clear values that everyone truly lives by.

In this captivating conversation, Alando takes us through his remarkable coaching journey from player-coach to his current roles with Moana Pacific and the Tonga national team. His perspective on culture development comes alive through concrete examples rather than coaching platitudes – from filming players embodying team values to translating core principles into Japanese to ensure true ownership at Kubota Spears.

"The rugby will happen no matter what," Alando reveals, highlighting his philosophy that technical aspects are secondary to human connection. He distinguishes between merely "knowing" players and truly "understanding" their circumstances, particularly within Pacific Island communities where cultural context shapes everything.

There's something refreshingly authentic about Alando's approach to coaching diverse teams. At Moana Pacific, morning prayer sessions bring together Christians and non-religious players alike, creating a daily ritual of connection before training begins. Working alongside rugby legend Tana Umaga, he appreciates how the head coach "saves his bullets" – speaking with measured purpose rather than constant commentary.

Perhaps most inspiring is Alando's revelation about his vision board. Years before securing positions with Super Rugby and Tonga, he visualized these exact roles. His pathway wasn't just technical excellence but curiosity-driven professional development that opened unexpected doors.

For coaches at any level, Alando's insights on creating diversity within coaching teams offers a fresh perspective. Different coaches connect with different player personalities, creating a complementary unit that reaches everyone effectively.

Ready to transform your coaching approach? Listen now to discover how understanding people deeply leads to championship results.

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Have you ever had a moment when someone's casual comment completely transformed your thinking? In this deeply personal reflection, I share three unexpected insights from players that revolutionized my coaching philosophy over decades in professional rugby.

The first revelation came in Japan, where after stubbornly trying to implement systems that worked at Leicester Tigers, a captain gently explained, "Just because it works there doesn't mean it works here." That simple observation fundamentally changed how I approach new environments—reminding me that context and culture matter profoundly in leadership. The second awakening came when a player simply asked "Why?" during a warm-up drill, and I realized I had no substantive answer. This taught me that purpose must underpin every aspect of coaching if you want genuine buy-in. The third transformation happened after I missed celebrating a player's debut due to post-game frustration, when he quietly said, "Stay with us, coach"—a powerful reminder about emotional consistency and authentic leadership.

What fascinates me is that none of these insights came from coaching courses, books, or planned development. They were golden nuggets that appeared unexpectedly in the stream of daily interactions. Coaching isn't about mining harder for knowledge; it's about developing the awareness to recognize wisdom when it passes through your hands—often from the very people you're trying to lead. The question isn't whether there's gold in your coaching river, but whether your eyes are sharp enough and your hands steady enough to catch it when it appears.

Are you listening closely enough to catch the wisdom flowing past you every day? Subscribe now and join me each Wednesday for more Coaching Culture Reflections that might just spark your own leadership breakthroughs.

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Have you ever wondered what truly makes a championship team culture? Dan McKellar, current Waratahs head coach with a coaching resume spanning the Brumbies, Wallabies, and Leicester Tigers, cuts through the noise with refreshing honesty and clarity.

"Culture is just the actions of the people in the building," McKellar explains, offering a deceptively simple yet profound definition that frames his entire leadership approach. "When the last person at night shuts the door and turns the lights off, the culture goes with them. And then in the morning it comes in with the first person that walks in."

McKellar opens up about the personal sacrifices required at the highest levels of coaching, candidly admitting that family sometimes comes second – a difficult reality of high-performance environments. Yet he balances these demanding standards with genuine compassion for his players as people first, athletes second. His authentic leadership style is summed up perfectly: "If you sway too much away from what you are as a head coach, it's bullshit."

From his early days as a 25-year-old player-coach at Wicklow Rugby Club in Ireland leading men a decade older than himself, to his current role transforming the Waratahs culture, McKellar shares the leadership principles that have guided him. He emphasizes the critical importance of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and being physically present with players rather than constantly hidden behind laptops and analysis.

The conversation explores how small moments of connection with players compound over time, building the relationships that drive performance in the most crucial moments of games. Whether you're coaching at grassroots level or leading a professional organization, McKellar's insights on balancing discipline with enjoyment, maintaining perspective after losses, and creating environments where players genuinely want to be will transform your approach to leadership and culture building.

Listen now to discover why McKellar believes the dressing room – not the trophies or salary – is what coaching is truly about.

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What if the secret to building championship teams isn't found in tactics or talent, but in a single, powerful word? 

Pat Lam, architect of the Bristol Bears' transformation from strugglers to European powerhouse, offers a refreshing perspective on leadership that challenges conventional wisdom. At the heart of his philosophy lies an unexpected foundation for team culture: love, defined as "sacrificing oneself for the benefit of others."

This conversation reveals how Lam has masterfully cultivated environments where players willingly put themselves at risk for teammates - from a 75kg scrum-half throwing his body into a ruck to protect a ball-carrier, to coaches offering spare cars when colleagues face transportation troubles. Rather than abstract concepts, Lam demonstrates how culture manifests in daily actions, large and small.

The discussion explores Lam’s innovative approaches to leadership development, including requiring players to apply and interview for leadership positions, having them present their personal "why" to teammates, and establishing a middle tier of leadership to develop future team leaders. His practical wisdom on giving honest feedback ("No one will respect you if you're saying one thing but meaning something else") and managing relationships creates a blueprint for coaches at any level.

Perhaps most compelling is Lam’s perspective on setbacks. Having been fired from the Blues in New Zealand, he reframed the experience for his children as an exciting new adventure, believing that joining the ranks of world-class coaches who have been sacked is a "privilege" - provided you learn and grow from the experience.

Whether you're leading a sports team, managing a workplace, or simply trying to bring out the best in others, Lam’s insights on building trust, fostering genuine connection, and creating environments where people willingly sacrifice for each other will transform your approach to leadership.

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What truly defines a coach's legacy? For Jim Mackay, it's not the championship trophies or international honors – it's the journey of becoming and the meaningful experiences along the way.

In this enlightening conversation, Jim shares his remarkable path from coaching amateur clubs in England to leading the Queensland Reds to Super Rugby glory and eventually becoming Australia's attack coach. His story is a masterclass in resilience, culture-building, and authentic leadership.

Jim reveals how he defines culture as "how we're perceived and how we want to be perceived," emphasizing that values must emerge collaboratively rather than being imposed. Through vivid examples from his time with North Walsham, the Cornish Pirates, and the Reds, he demonstrates how connecting team identity to local history creates deeper meaning and belonging.

The transformation of the Queensland Reds offers particularly valuable insights. Working with young talents like Will Genia and Quade Cooper, Jim helped shift a losing mentality by raising awareness, teaching game management, and building relationships. This player-centered approach, combined with clear strategic frameworks, turned perpetual losers into champions within two years.

Most compelling is Jim's perspective on setbacks. From club closures that left him jobless to the challenges of coaching internationally, he views each difficulty as formative rather than definitive. "A coach's journey is not one of being, but of becoming," he explains, highlighting how experiences – good and difficult – shape your evolution as a leader.

Whether you're coaching at grassroots level or aspiring to international heights, this episode offers profound wisdom about leading with authenticity, building culture intentionally, and finding meaning in the journey rather than just the destination. Listen now to transform how you approach coaching and leadership.

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Ever wonder how a guy who started his working life digging holes transformed into a rising star in rugby coaching? Ryan Schultz's journey from manual laborer to head coach at Canberra Vikings reveals the gritty reality behind professional coaching success.

In this illuminating conversation with host Ben Herring, Ryan peels back the curtain on his coaching philosophy built around three core pillars: connection, development, and performance. He candidly shares how his early experiences – from pumping up footballs at his old school to coaching cricket teams – shaped his unique approach to leadership and culture-building in rugby.

What sets this episode apart is Ryan's refreshing honesty about navigating the pressure of coaching at a prestigious club with expectations of immediate success. "I did struggle with that at times," he admits, "wanting to make sure I was achieving for the club." His innovative solution to club unity – creating "Valhalla," a dedicated social space where players from all levels could connect – demonstrates how thoughtful leadership extends beyond training sessions and game plans.

Perhaps most thought-provoking is Ryan's controversial belief that "maybe the scoreboard doesn't matter." This perspective challenges conventional coaching wisdom while emphasizing the profound impact coaches can have on players' lives beyond rugby. His approach to stakeholder management – whether dealing with parents in school rugby or managing a team with 13 different nationalities – offers valuable lessons for leaders in any field.

Whether you're a coach seeking fresh perspectives, a player curious about leadership development, or simply fascinated by the human elements of sports culture, this episode delivers remarkable insights from someone who truly understands the transformative power of authentic connection. Listen now to discover how digging holes prepared Ryan for coaching excellence – and what that might mean for your own leadership journey.

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