Agreement #4: Always Do Your Best
“Under any circumstances, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next.”
The Fourth Agreement is the action of the first three, enabling them to become habits. It is the agreement that asks you to do just enough, but not too much. Perfection is not the goal .. Doing your best means falling down and getting back up.
Ruiz says “If you try too hard to do more than your best, you will spend more energy than is needed, and in the end, your best will not be enough. When you overdo, you deplete your body and go against yourself, and it will take you longer to accomplish your goal. But if you do less than your best, you subject yourself to frustrations, self-judgment, guilt, and regrets.”
Surrender to what flows easily. If something feels heavy and overwhelming, it means I’m pushing against the Universe and trying to force it. And when I use force, nothing works.
When you try to get someone to love you, it depletes your energy… and it doesn’t work. When you people-please for acceptance, it robs you of yourself. Forced effort doesn't feel good. On the flip side, have you ever done something where you felt tired afterward, but also invigorated? This kind of effort comes from joy, and it’s never depleting.
Ruiz says, “When you are doing your best just for the pleasure of doing it, you are taking action because you enjoy the action. Action is about living fully.” Lead with your heart without an attachment to the outcome and opportunities will open up.
“If I create from the heart, nearly everything works; if from the head, almost nothing.”
–Marc Chagall
Doing Your Best in Co-Parenting Relationships
While each agreement is simple, executing them consistently is not easy, especially in our coparenting relationships. When you are emotionally triggered, taking something personally, it usually happens on autopilot. The point is not to avoid being triggered (which isn’t really possible), but rather to use those moments as an opportunity to feel your way through the negative beliefs that surface.
Doing MY and DOING YOUR Best
I’ve read “The Four Agreements” several times over the past six months and I get something from it each time. What I do know is whenever I force something or put forth effort that drains me, it doesn’t lead to what I want.
“If you’re doing your best, you will feel good about yourself even if you still make assumptions, still take things personally, and still are not impeccable with your word.”
Answer the below questions in your journal or the
- What is something you constantly overdo or put extra effort towards that depletes you? It could be work, making dinner, cleaning, keeping in touch with people, caring for a parent, etc. .
- What is something you put effort into that you love?
Every day from this day forward, write the below in your journal as a reminder of the agreements you have made with yourself:
Today I will do my best to speak my truth and be impeccable with my word.
Today I will do my best not to take things personally, remembering it’s about them, not me.
Today I will do my best not to assume I know what other people are thinking or feeling.
Today I will simply do my best… no more, no less… and it will come from my heart.
“If you do your best in the search for personal freedom, in the search for self-love, you will discover that it’s just a matter of time before you find what you are looking for.”
