How did you first learn to be intimate or sexual with someone else? For most of us, it was a guessing game— a little guidance, lots of trial and error, and the same moves repeated year after year. For others it was what we saw and copied online. But when it comes to real sex, and passionate intimacy— something that we all crave more of, we all crave more of, what we really want, is Closeness.
We yearn for the skills to satisfy and be satisfied.
The Closeness Podcast is hosted by San Diego’s #1-rated sex and intimacy coach, Tari. He takes you on a provocative and sensual journey through the most forbidden, fascinating, and essential subjects about sex and relationships. From igniting chemistry with your partner and uncovering her hidden pleasure to understanding attraction and arousal, this podcast gives you step-by-step guidance on how to touch, communicate, and connect in actionable ways that truly work.
With a unique blend of wisdom, humor, and clear, practical advice, Tari breaks down complex and often uncomfortable subjects into simple insights you can apply right now. Whether you’re navigating emotional pain, longing for deeper intimacy, or looking to turn up the heat with your partner, the Closeness Podcast is your modern guide to sexual education, passion, and connection.
Ready to take your intimacy to the next level? Tune-in, listen closely, and discover what’s possible. For more or to schedule real-world coaching sessions (in person or virtual), visit closeness.com
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Interview: Is it possible to have an unforgettable One Night Stand?
Season 3 · Episode 78
Monday, May 26, 2025 • Duration 45:43
It's been a while since we've posted an interview style format so we're bringing it backwith a bang! (So to speak) For regular listeners who are used to relationship oriented sexual material, don't worry there will still be plenty of that in future episodes. But for today's guest, Venus is here explore how to make a one night stand a special and fun experience.
Closeness also posts videos on all social media platforms. Follow us on
YouTube: YouTube.com/closeness
X and Instagram: @closenesscoach
TikTok: @IntimacyCoaching
Chapters:
0:00 Closeness is now on all social media platforms with videos and shorts
1:55 Introduction to Venus
7:43 Defining what exactly a One Night Stand is
10:55 Does she actually like them
12:45 Is people pleasing an inherently female trait?
14:19 Do you feel obligated to partake?
15:51 Do you like ONS?
16:25 The Kiss tells you everything
18:00 Other ways to tell it will be good
20:18 Is it all about a feeling or attraction or both?
21:38 What to avoid and what does it take to make a great one night stand?
25:27 Reasons why you may not want to do it
28:10 How to know if someone is going to be good or not?
30:48 Not all touch should be taken as an advance
32:55 there are two kinds of great one night stands
33:53 What is the recipe for men?
35:06 When there are fireworks on the dance floor
37:36 What women need to do to prepare for an ONS
40:06 Don't be selfish!
41:14 How do you have a passionate ONS that is connected
42:50 Final thoughts and summing up!
Photography by: Dominik Malik
What happens long-term when you deprive a woman of sex, intimacy and closeness?
Season 3 · Episode 77
Thursday, November 14, 2024 • Duration 01:00:26
For a sexual woman, or a woman who enjoys regular sex, nothing feels more devastating than being deprived of intimacy, closeness, and the feeling of being desired. In long-term relationships, this scenario is more common than many realize and can lead to her disconnecting, shutting down and even feeling deeply resentmentful. In this episode, we explore what you can do if you've been neglecting your partner ins this department.
The Pain of Feeling Undesired
When a woman feels rejected sexually, it’s not just about the lack of physical intimacy—it’s about the emotional toll it takes on her feeling unwanted. She may begin to question her worth, her attractiveness, and even the relationship itself. A hug and a peck hello won't be enough to salvage it. Meaningful actions and effort are needed to make her feel truly wanted but more so in the sensual and sexual sense.
The Initiation Paradox
Many men struggle to initiate intimacy, while many women hesitate to take the lead for fear of being judged or feeling rejected themselves. This “initiation paradox” creates a frustrating stalemate that slowly erodes sexual connection. A woman’s sexual expression often mirrors what her partner inspires in her; if she feels ignored or undesired, her sensuality can wither. To move things forward, it’s essential to break this cycle by understanding her emotional needs and taking intentional steps to get that chemistry back.
Questions to Ask Yourself
If intimacy has stalled in your relationship, it’s time for some tough self-reflection. Effort is sometimes too strong of word, but are you putting in the effort or energy to make her feel desired? Are you addressing your own low libido or other barriers to connection? If you’re in a sexless or low-sex relationship, ask yourself whether this is a dealbreaker—or if you’re willing to put in the work to change the dynamic. Recognize that women still crave intimacy and fantasize about passion, even if the spark has dimmed in their own relationship.
This emotionally charged episode goes deep into the challenges of intimacy deprivation and offers actionable advice for reigniting connection and restoring balance.
How to inspire a woman to FEEL sexy and sexual towards you
Season 3 · Episode 76
Monday, September 23, 2024 • Duration 01:01:20
How to Inspire a Woman to Feel Sexy and Sexual TOWARDS you.
This episode of Closeness is a game-changer for anyone looking to create deeper sexual chemistry with their female partner. You may think your parter is sexy when you look at her or think she is sexy enough all on her own, but, can you make her feel sexy and sexual when she’s with you? This is a totally different story. There’s a world of difference between a woman feeling good about herself in general as a woman, and her feeling those hot and spicy feelings towards you. If you want to elevate your relationship both in and out of the bedroom, this episode is for you.
Men often think it’s a woman’s job to be sexual and sexy: expecting their partner to bring all the heat while changing nothing about themselves. But the truth is, inspiring sexual energy starts with you, as a man. Physical touch isn’t the only way to spark attraction—it’s about eye contact, your masculine energy and presence, confidence, and being intentional in how you show desire. When a woman feels you’re fully present and genuinely interested in her, she’s more likely to feel that electric chemistry.
Stop Waiting for Her to Do All the Work
Many men expect women to initiate intimacy or keep the spark alive, often lamenting how she “used to be” but isn’t anymore. This mindset misses the mark. The beginning phases of the relationship have, for many, been gone for quite some time. We evolve and grow over time.
Women can and should do their part to maintain healthy sex and intimacy in the relationship, but you must lead the charge. When women feel guided and safe in your presence, they’re more likely to relax into their sexuality and let go.
Practical Tips to Build Connection
Your sexual gaze—how you look at her—can ignite feelings of attraction almost instantly. And if you want her to feel sexy with you, speak up! Let her know what turns you on, and maybe get comfortable with adding some toys to your repertoire. A woman’s desire isn’t sparked by accident—it’s cultivated through your words, actions, and energy.
Ready to Come Closer?
13 Easy to fix roadblocks that are keeping you from having sex right now… and what to do about them
Saturday, April 6, 2024 • Duration 01:01:58
In this episode, we tackle 13 common barriers that can stand in the way of a thriving sexual connection with your partner. Whether it’s logistical issues, bad timing, or emotional disconnection, these roadblocks can quietly chip away at intimacy. The good news? Every one of these obstacles can be addressed easily, paving the way for better connection, desire, and satisfaction.
It’s Not Just About Desire—It’s About the Setup
Sometimes, logistics are the real problem. Are there too many pillows on the bed creating a barrier to even touch? Is your couch too small or your bed too uncomfortable for sex to happen? Even practical issues like pets sleeping on the bed or family members out staying their welcome can disrupt your ability to connect. It's easy to create a space that feels inviting, private, and comfortable. A lock on the door, rearranged furniture, or a cozy setup can work wonders.
From Platonic to Passionate
Another common roadblock is behaving too much like a platonic friend. If you’re not making sensual or sexual gestures beyond a quick peck or a hand on her shoulder—it’s hard to shift the energy toward intimacy. Sensual or sexual gestures need to happen on the regular. Women crave and need progressions that build tension and desire, so don’t just stop at a hug. Small, intentional actions, like lingering eye contact, touch, or even flirting, help reignite the spark and move you closer to a meaningful connection. In this episode you'll learn much more about how to act in a way that really gets her attention.
Timing and Effort: Make It Count
Sex in long-term relationships requires effort—it won’t always feel spontaneous or like it happens on its own. Interestingly, women will constantly criticize a man’s “bad timing” without initiating intimacy themselves or letting him know what good timing actually is. Don't worry, we'll talk about that too. Good timing is actually a skill you can develop together.
Steady progress with visible changes
Intimacy is a journey, not a switch you flip that stays on forever. Don’t rush in expecting your partner to feel ready after minimal or no effort. Small progressions—playful teasing, seductive gestures, lingering touch, or shared laughter—lay the groundwork for deeper sexual connection. By addressing these roadblocks and taking thoughtful, intentional steps, you can transform your relationship and bring passion back into the bedroom.
What to do with an extra horny wife or girlfriend… when your libidos are mismatched
Season 3 · Episode 74
Tuesday, December 12, 2023 • Duration 50:15
Ah the case of the extra horny wife!
What to do when your wife or girlfriend has a high sex drive and you’re struggling to keep up? This episode looks at one of the biggest challenges in relationships today. Whether you’re dealing with mismatched drives, low libido, or confusion about how to take the lead, this episode gives you actionable tips to handle the situation with confidence and connection.
Understanding the Problem
When a woman has a higher sex drive than you, frustration and discouragement can creep into the relationship. Sometimes, men have a low libido, feel shy, or simply don’t know how to initiate intimacy effectively. Lack of experience can also cause this situation to worsen even more so.
Sometimes a man thinks he’s giving it his all in the bedroom, but it will often read as a paltry attempt by his female partner and often still falls short of what his partner craves. Understanding this gap is key to bridging it—and it starts with being present, proactive, and a willingness to learn and take action as a man.
Take the Lead—Action Over Consolation
If your partner looks discouraged or unfulfilled, don’t wait for her to spell it out. And especially if she's frustrated sometimes, consoling her isn’t the solution... but seducing her may be. As a man, it’s essential to take action in suggestive and often sexual ways that she can read to show her that you desire her. Women often want their partner to lead with confidence and passion, and waiting for her to guide the experience, take the lead or show interest, can cause disconnection. Your willingness to take the initiative not only meets her needs but also deepens your connection.
The Role of Authentic Attraction
Here’s the hard truth: if you’re not physically attracted to your partner or genuinely desire her, the imbalance in your sex drives will only worsen. Authentic desire and attraction is critical for intimacy when it flows from a man to a woman. Otherwise you both are going to feel like you're doing her a favor. While you can’t change your own libido drastically, you can work on fostering finding ways that you find her attractive.
20 Things to consider when dating a woman who has children
Season 3 · Episode 73
Sunday, November 19, 2023 • Duration 01:11:38
In so many ways, dating a single mother is an entirely different experience compared to dating someone without children. In this episode, we explore the unique dynamics, challenges, and many rewards of stepping into a relationship with a single mother. From navigating your needs, to her unique priorities and needs to understanding her relationship dynamic with her ex, this episode breaks down the 20 essential things you need to know to make the relationship work—or decide if it’s the right fit for you.
When dating a single mother, her children will always come first, and rightfully so. From middle-of-the-night emergencies to the emotional minute by minute demands of raising kids, you have to be prepared for her attention to shift instantly away from you and the relationship when something goes wrong. If you’re someone who struggles with ranking lower on the totem pole or who feels competition around children, this dynamic might not be for you. You’re stepping into a pre-existing family system, not just a relationship.
Be Ready for Complexities
Single moms often carry the emotional weight of past relationships, whether it’s lingering emotional pain with an ex, very real divorce baggage, or balancing co-parenting arrangements. The question of whether her children like you or not can also have a huge impact on the relationship. And while single moms are often incredible caretakers, that care may be directed more toward their children than you. This dynamic requires understanding, patience, and creativity, especially when it comes to topics like discipline, finances, and meeting the extended family.
It’s important to recognize that stepping into a relationship with a single mom doesn’t mean stepping into a parenting role unless this is explicitly agreed upon. You don’t have to raise her kids, but being a support system to them and a friend to them can be phenomenally rewarding to everyone involved!
And while single moms may have high standards for their partner, you’re allowed to have your own (high) standards too. A relationship works when both partners feel supported, respected, and seen.
The Rewards of Connection
While dating a single mother has its challenges, it can also be deeply rewarding. Building a connection with her kids, even if they’re not yours, can bring immense joy and purpose to your life and this is something that most people cannot know until they've experienced it themselves.
The incredible experience of knowing when a woman is in love with you… and how to reciprocate back! 15 ways
Season 3 · Episode 72
Saturday, November 11, 2023 • Duration 59:17
In this heartfelt episode of The Closeness Podcast, Tari explores the subtle yet profound ways a woman expresses love towards you and how to nurture that connection. Love isn’t just a feeling, you can also see it written all over her face, as well as in her actions and gestures towards you that reveal her affection and devotion. From admiring glances to shared laughter and vulnerably sharing herself with you, this episode offers 15 clear signs to help you recognize when a woman is truly in love with you and, more importantly, how to reciprocate that love in meaningful ways.
Love can be seen in the smallest details: the way she looks at you, her willingness to support you in tough times, or her playful texts and videos that show you she’s thinking of you. Whether it’s through physical intimacy, kind gestures like little notes or gifts, or her desire to spend time with you or be near in proximity to you, feminine love manifests in actions that reflect her care and attention. Tari emphasizes that recognizing these signs requires presence and attentiveness, as love often speaks in whispers rather than grand gestures.
Love Is a Gift and a Responsibility
Feminine love also needs to be nurtured in return. Reciprocating her love means being present, appreciating her unique ways of showing affection, and putting in the effort to keep the relationship thriving. But unexpected areas like leading her, protecting her, and being decisive with her is important too.
Shared humor is another way to reciprocate but it's important to not always be sarcastic or cracking jokes at another expense. But playful banter, a little wit and wry humor can go a long way to make your connection feel fun and lively.
From her desire to be sexual with you to introducing you to her friends and family, a woman in love shows her affection in countless ways. This episode helps you decode her actions and highlights the importance of stepping into her perspective to understand how she experiences love.
Ready to Come Closer?
Tune in to learn how to recognize, appreciate, and deepen love in your relationship. For more insights into intimacy and connection, visit .
Sexual Tension. What it is, how to play with it and why you must build it with your partner
Season 3 · Episode 71
Tuesday, October 31, 2023 • Duration 58:59
This episode dives into that unspoken, magnetic force that women love, men are strangers to and has the ability to keep relationships alive: sexual tension.
To begin, do you know what it is? How would you describe it to someone? Far from a fleeting moment of attraction, sexual tension is a dynamic between you and your partner. An energy that is felt. A strong feeling. A deliberate energy that fuels desire, excitement, and intimacy in long-term and short term relationships alike. Whether you’re looking to reignite a spark or keep the flames burning, this episode breaks down why sexual tension matters and how to master it.
Another way to think of sexual tension is the unspoken, electrifying connection that builds anticipation and desire between partners- but ESPECIALLY for women. It’s not about rushing to the finish line but about creating a charged space where passion can thrive. For men, this often means embracing assertiveness, confidence, healthy dominance and masculinity in a way that engages their partner. For women, it’s about responding to that energy and feeling desired. Without this interplay, relationships can feel stagnant, leading to a drop in attraction and intimacy over time.
How to Build Sexual Tension
Keeping the spark alive requires intentional effort- and again usually on the part of the man. From maintaining steady eye contact to spontaneous, consensual touch, the art of creating tension and seduction can lie in subtlety. Non-verbal cues, intense or even mischievous, playful teasing, and a willingness to show your desire (instead of asking for it) all play a role.
Timing (another important thing to most women) is everything—knowing when and how to initiate intimacy is key to making your partner feel wanted without overwhelming her or taking her by surprise in a bad way. Remember, many women want to experience that rush of being taken or feeing desired—not asked for sex like a mother / child dynamic. But the being taken part can only be done when trust and consent are firmly established.
Why Men Must Take the Lead
This episode highlights the differences in how men and women initiate intimacy. While men often hesitate or misinterpret cues, women are looking for confidence and decisiveness in their man. Women want to feel pursued, but that doesn’t mean bulldozing past boundaries. The solution? Lead with your energy, make your intentions clear with your CALM body language, and leave the overthinking to her. Sexual tension thrives when both partners lean into their natural dynamics, with men taking initiative and women responding to the energy.
Understanding how your partner starts fights and provokes you… and what you can do about it
Season 3 · Episode 70
Tuesday, June 13, 2023 • Duration 01:11:42
How to Navigate Conflict and Stop the Cycle of Petty Fights
As much as we want our relationships to be full of passion and connection, they can also be bogged down by repetitive, exhausting conflicts. In this dense yet insightful episode, we dive into the dynamics of how fights start, why some partners provoke or blindside you, and what you can do to handle conflict in a healthier way. Fighting over petty issues often leaves couples feeling drained, disconnected, and unsure of what they were even arguing about. Let’s unpack how to break that cycle and focus on building true intimacy.
The Root of Conflict: Repetition and Provocation
Most conflicts in relationships stem from repetitive actions or patterns—someone keeps doing something that bothers their partner, sometimes seemingly intentionally, without resolution. Some partners even unconsciously provoke fights to validate their own emotions, to make things "interesting" or gain control of the dynamic. Understanding this cause-and-effect loop is critical. Whether your partner is direct in their frustration or engages in 30 minutes of subtle bad behavior before finally blowing up, recognizing these patterns helps you respond with presence or confidence instead of defensiveness.
Why Vulnerability Is So Elusive
One of the biggest challenges in resolving conflict is that many people don’t know how to be vulnerable. Instead of opening up, they engage in psychological warfare, from blindsiding their partner with unrelated grievances to diving into text battles that escalate emotions without resolution. Your feelings are important and matter sure, but they don’t always need validation if they’re clouded by negativity or misinterpretation or are based in things that never happened. Healthy communication requires us to distinguish between intuitive insights and overreactions.
How to Navigate and De-escalate Fights
Defending yourself constantly and at every turn often escalates the situation instead of resolving it. Instead, put your attention on what’s working in your relationship rather than fixating on its shortcomings. That sounds so basic but it's extremely powerful and effective. Where is your attention?
Ready to Come Closer?
Listen now for insights on how to overcome mismatched libidos, rebuild desire, and create a more fulfilling relationship. Visit Closeness.com for more resources on intimacy and connection.
Are you ready to come closer?
CHAPTERS
0:00 Introduction
5:12 Disperate sex drives and libidos
8:35 Why can't women just initiate themselves?
9:35 Female Nature
12:27 No man wants a starfish. No woman wants someone who doesn't desire her
13:14 The initiation paradox
14:55 Words vs Actions
16:26 Men find it hard to initiate when
19:06 For things to work, women need to offer these secret ingredients
23:42 Mens false promises?
24:40 This is how it looks when a woman feels undesired
25:52 A hug and kiss is not the bare minimum
26:50 Damage control due to lack of promises
30:32 For men with low sex drives / libidos
38:00 If you can't imagine the previous recommendations, ask yourself these hard questions
44:30 Is lack of sex a deal breaker for you or your partner?
47:45 Understanding mens issue with too much consent
51:41 Understanding why your wife doesn't initiate now even though she used to
53:00 A woman is only as sexual as you will allow or inspire her to be
54:10 Even in a sexless marriage, women still fantasize and want sex and intimacy
57:20 How to get help with this right now
58:44 Outro
Learn how to inspire your partner to feel sexy and sexual with you. For more insights on intimacy, passion, and connection, tune into The Closeness Podcast or visit Closeness.com.
Chapters:
0:00 Intro
4:45 It's not only about physical touch
8:20 Men think it's their partners job to be sexy
8:44 Men want all the sexiness from her while changing nothing about themselves
13:55 Only women can get away with existing
15:05 Women have their own work to do
17:45 Men think women should initiate out of nowhere
20:45 She used to be this way but no longe is
22:00 Wearing lingerie
25:10 Intro to being the director
32:15 Being specific
35:35 Speak up!
41:15 Women get a little woozy when they're submissive
43:15 No half assed leading allowed
46:05 Often women don't even know what is sexy or what is sexy to you
48:30 Toys!
55:29 Eye contact
Ready to Come Closer?
Learn how to identify and overcome the barriers standing between you and a more fulfilling sex life. Tune in now, and visit Closeness.com for more insights on intimacy, connection, and desire.
Are you ready to come closer?
CHAPTERS:
0:00 Introduction
3:42 1:Logistics
8:03 The three categories of affection
11:33 Logistical problem 1a: Your furnishings
13:37 Logistical problem 1b: Lovers can't find the time
14:12 2. Family, extended family and kids
15:58 3. No locks on your doors
18:30 4. The zoo that lives with you
19:57 5. Energy
22:35 Not wanting to. Needing it to feel natural
29:25 7. You're not there emotionally
32:01 8. She shuts down emotionally, feels defeated and broken
36:04 9. Your timing is off!
43:40 Often women don't even know what bad timing is
46:05 10. Pressure
50:36 11. Not putting yourself in your partners shoes (empathy and understanding)
54:15 12. Too many broken promises
56:50 13. Not making small progressions towards sex
If you're a man used to doing grand gestures and showing her how much she means to you with fancy trips and gifts, this strategy may need to be revised. Remember, your sexuality and you desire for her in this dynamic is what she finds exciting. Yes, your needs and your sexuality matters too, but if you’re not engaged, the relationship may struggle to thrive.
This episode also sheds light on an often-overlooked dynamic: that women can and do pressure men for sex. For men navigating this challenge, knowing that it really is ok to say no is huge. But if you tell someone no all the time, there is something much deeper going on.
Ready to Come Closer?
Learn how to confidently navigate mismatched libidos, seduce with intention, and bring passion back into your relationship. For more tips and insights, visit Closeness.com.
Are you ready to come closer?
CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro and the types of relationships that are like this
2:34 Women who want it but their husbands drive is not there
3:42 You're trying, you're having good sex but it's still not enough for her
5:06 Thoughts on what to do if you have a very sexual wife or girlfriend
11:26 Distinguishing between a woman who doesn't want you vs someone who is turned off from you
15:02 If you're super aggressive or a non-affectionate man this doesn't apply
15:52 it's imperative as a man to take action if she has a high sex drive
17:45 What to do if she looks discouraged
21:30 She doesn't know what to do but you DO
25:24 When men get discouraged or don't understand what to do
27:35 Your sexuality matters too - but if you don't desire her you're in trouble
29:35 In search of answers...
30:22 If you don't authentically desire her, you'll probably blow it
35:40 You really can't change someone's desire, libido or sex drive too greatly
37:34 It turns out your sex drive does matter too
41:40 Women actually pressure men to have sex too...
46:02 Final thoughts, summary and wrap up
Image by Racool_studio on Freepik
Gaining emotional maturity, patience, and empathy for navigating this unique relationship dynamic will come with time. If you’re ready to embrace the complexities of loving a single mother, this guide will help you do it with care and intention.
Tune in to learn how to navigate dating and intimacy with a single mom while building a meaningful connection. For more tips on relationships and intimacy, visit Closeness.com.
Are you ready to come closer?
Chapters:
0:00 Intro
2:25 Disclosures
3:45 Connecting with your children is not something that ever ends
28:50 6. The way she'll have sex with you and what she's willing to do
35:30 Putting yourself in her position
41:12 7. Little notes and mementos
42:56 8. Gifts
45:57 9. She wants to talk to you and be near you all the time
48:30 10. She gives you her softness
50:47 11. She's more sexual and sensual outside of the bedroom
51:50 12. Exchanging videos, memes and all number of cute things
52:30 13. She shows up for you and is there when you need her
54:44 14. She loves to have fun with you and play with you
56:30 15. Her family and or friends know about you and love you or like you lots
Becoming a Sexual Being
To satisfy your partner fully, you have to embody your sexual energy—not as a forced persona, or actor, but as a natural extension of who you are. Sexual tension isn’t about planning or being mechanical and it's not about role playing; it’s about creating a playful, passionate buildup that keeps both partners excited. Whether you’ve been together for a year or a decade, becoming a sexual being is about consistently showing up with intention, curiosity, and confidence.
Ready to Come Closer?
This episode will teach you how to spark desire, keep intimacy alive, and master the art of sexual tension in your relationship. For more tips on creating passion and connection, visit Closeness.com.
Are you ready to come closer?
CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro
1:39 Men and women show sexual interest differently
3:41 Puppy dog love
8:34 Men and women initiate differently
12:33 What does it look like when a woman makes herself sexually available to you
14:23 Finding the right "time" to initiate
15:58 How to be sexual with your consensual partner
18:37 Why men have a hard time with timing
21:14 Don't ask her to do it, show her
22:16 What it means to bring your masculine energy to the relationship
24:25 Distinguishing consent from asking for sex
28:14 Why can't women initiate?
29:18 Why you must initiate with her
30:14 When women actually do want to initiate
31:44 When is the right time to initiate sex with your partner
35:34 She wants you to take her
39:24 Getting all those bad boy qualities into... you
43:17 How to create a nice sexual buildup
46:20 Be careful of being mechanical and planning it all out
47:38 You must become a sexual being or a sexual person to satisfy her
49:22 All about sexual tension
57:55 Outro
But remember, you’re not obligated to tolerate bad behavior endlessly. Setting boundaries and not giving in to your pervasive desire to play the role of an armchair psychologist for your partner’s unchecked emotions is key to maintaining your own emotional well-being.
This episode is a masterclass in recognizing patterns, staying present, and disengaging from toxic cycles. It’s not about being infinitely patient but about creating space for accountability, understanding, and meaningful connection.
Ready to Come Closer?
Tune in now to learn how to approach conflict in a way that builds intimacy instead of tearing it down. For more tools on creating healthier relationships, visit Closeness.com.
Chapters:
0:00 Introduction
1:59 Conflict is usually the result of a repetitive action
3:20 Cause and effect
9:54 Some partners enjoy provoking you
11:10 Indirect vs direct: 20 minutes of bad behavior
24:02 Another 10 minutes of bad behavior
30:30 A logic based universe
32:30 When something parasitic occurs in the brain
37:22 No one actually knows how to be vulnerable today
38:56 Blindsiding your partner will lead to confusion and negative reactions
40:25 The elusive world of feelings
42:15 When people think all feelings are valid and should be validated
48:45 Understanding intuition
50:45 Text fights
53:30 Engaging in psychological warfare
53:56 When you're already a present, honest and accountable partner but they keep tanking
55:30 When you've done nothing to violate trust
58:00 Defending yourself is often not in your best interest
1:03:00 Are you focusing on what's working or the lack of it?
1:04:05 When you just have a stormy partner
1:05:25 It's natural to get defensive after poking the pair or being prodded
1:06:15 You cannot be infinitely patient with bad behavior
1:07:28 Stop playing the armchair psychologist
1:10:46 Outro
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