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The Defence Chiefs song - I'm Deluded and I'll Never Quit
Russia’s raising the stakes, risks crossing the line,
Most dangerous time in my thirty-five-year grind.
I warned them of a £28 billion hole in the ground,
But here comes the DIP with fifteen — and I’ll sign it down.
Day-to-day funding’s squeezed till the training runs dry,
We’ll dial back the ops, watch readiness say goodbye.
I know we can’t do the job with this budget so thin,
But the uniform’s comfy and the pension kicks in.
[Chorus]
I’m deluded and I’ll never quit!
Accepting the plan though I know it’s bullshit.
I could speak truth to power, walk out with my pride,
But I like the position and the stars on my side.
No moral courage, just comfortable lies,
I’m deluded and I’ll never quit — watch the forces die!
[Verse 2]
Future tech? They say the plan fails on that score,
Too much on old ships while the cutting edge is poor.
I wrote to the PM, met the chiefs in the room,
Expressed “deep concerns” — then swallowed the doom.
Healey resigned, Carns walked, they had the spine I lack,
I stay in the chair and pat the government’s back.
Longer conflicts coming, we’re not ready at all,
But I’ll toast the DIP at the next NATO ball.
[Verse 3]
I know the men and women deserve better gear and drills,
Operational pressure building, breaking iron wills.
Unaffordable plan that can’t be delivered right,
But criticising ministers? That wouldn’t be polite.
They call my warnings dramatic, overblown and loud,
I nod and agree — blend back into the crowd.
Deluded by the title, the briefings, the power,
I’ll ride this sinking ship till my final hour.
[Bridge – spoken/sung slower, bitter]
Russia probing the skies… threats growing every day…
I could fight for the funding that keeps us from decay…
But why rock the boat when the perks are so fine?
Moral courage is messy — I’ll just fall in line.
[Final Chorus – louder, mocking]
I’m deluded and I’ll never quit!
Accepting the plan though I know it’s bullshit.
I could speak truth to power, walk out with my pride,
But I like the position and the stars on my side.
No moral courage, just comfortable lies,
I’m deluded and I’ll never quit…
God save the forces… while I save my career!
