Explore every episode of the podcast Charting Toward Intimacy
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Immaculate Conception is a Celebration of the Marital Act | Ep. 250 | 08 Dec 2025 | 00:10:01 | |
Please take a moment to rate and review Charting Toward Intimacy! It helps other women find the podcast and transform their marriages. In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway explores the Feast of the Immaculate Conception through a powerful and rarely considered lens: the sanctity of the sexual union that conceived Mary. She reflects on how Anne and Joachim’s openness to grace reveals God's profound affirmation of the dignity of sex within marriage. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Stop Expecting Mind Reading | Ep. 249 | 01 Dec 2025 | 00:07:33 | |
Please rate and review Charting Toward Intimacy! It helps other women find the podcast and benefit from it! In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway dives into the damaging expectation that your husband should be able to read your mind (especially when it comes to emotional and sexual needs). She explores why this belief undermines true intimacy and reframes what genuine, loving actions look like in marriage. Ellen breaks down the importance of asking clearly for what you want, and how your husband's choice to respond, even reluctantly, can still be deeply loving. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| What is Edging? | Ep. 240 | 29 Sep 2025 | 00:08:47 | |
Get the Orgasm Course for Catholic Women right here! In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen Holloway explores the concept of edging, a technique that can enhance pleasure, comfort, and unity in your sex life. She explains how edging works, its benefits for those seeking to extend intimacy or synchronize climaxes, and how it can help make sex more enjoyable and comfortable, especially for women who experience discomfort or have not yet reached orgasm. Ellen also discusses important cautions, particularly for men, to ensure the practice aligns with Catholic teachings on sexuality. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Are You Too Tired For Sex? | Ep. 151 | 08 Jan 2024 | 00:17:38 | |
In this episode, we discuss the common scenario of feeling too tired for marital intimacy. We'll talk about the importance of identifying the root cause, be it a heavy workload, miscommunication, or simply needing more sleep. Here's some of the big takeaways: understand each other's perspectives, engage in active communication, take a fresh look at sex, viewing it not as a chore but as a way to enhance intimacy and connection. Sex is vital in reinforcing the bond and renewing wedding vows, so being too tired for it is not an option. It's time to make some changes in your life. Looking for more pleasure in your sex life? Or maybe just looking for any pleasure at all? Get The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Pornography, Sex Manuals, and Sex Therapy, Oh My! with Dr. Sarah Bartel | Ep. 150 | 01 Jan 2024 | 00:36:04 | |
Ellen is joined by Dr. Sarah Bartel for part 2 of their conversation on licit and illicit acts. The episode focuses primarily on pornography, sex manuals, sex therapy, and imaginative role-play in marriage. They stress the importance of respecting both the unitive and procreative functions of sex in Catholic teaching. Please go listen to the episode prior to this one titled Sex Toys, Lingerie, and Orgasms, Oh My! with Dr. Sarah Bartel before listening to this follow up conversation. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Sex Toys, Lingerie, and Orgasms, Oh My! With Dr. Sarah Bartel | Ep. 149 | 25 Dec 2023 | 00:29:47 | |
Ellen discusses sex and intimacy within the confines of Catholic marriage with guest Dr. Sarah Bartel. The primary focus is on demystifying varying questions related to sexual acts in Catholic marriage, ensuring they respect both the procreative and unitive aspects of sex. These include discussions on topics as varied as the use of sex toys, wearing lingerie, and the acceptance of different sexual acts. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Never Give up on Intimacy: A Deep Dive into Despair | Ep. 148 | 18 Dec 2023 | 00:25:42 | |
Ellen and Kathleen are discussing on how to overcome despair and struggles associated with intimacy in a marriage. They emphasize that giving in to despair only strengthens the negative forces affecting our lives. They stress the importance of holding onto faith and prayer, and provide tips for dealing with difficult periods. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Can Catholics Record Sex? | Ep. 147 | 11 Dec 2023 | 00:14:12 | |
We're talking about why recording sexual encounters between spouses is not in line with the Catholic understanding of marital intimacy. The discussion explores the sanctity of sex within marriage, emphasizing the importance of privacy and mutual self-gift. Ultimately, the episode underscores the importance of present commitment and love in sexual relationships rather than objectifying and recording the act. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Your Assumptions Are Killing Your Sex Life | Ep. 146 | 04 Dec 2023 | 00:28:37 | |
Ellen and Kathleen discuss a myriad of assumptions women often make about sex, how they negatively impact one's sex life, and how to overcome them. They delve into the concepts of responsive and spontaneous desires, discuss misconceptions about men and women's sexual needs, emphasize the importance of communication in sex, and highlight that sex is an individualized experience, unique to each couple. Get The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women ON SALE in honor of the Immaculate Conception! Codes available through December 8, 2023 at 11:59 pm PT Use code IMMACULATE49 for $49 dollars off (only 8 available) Use code IMMACULATE29 for $29 dollars off (only 16 available) Use code IMMACULATE for $19 dollars off (unlimited available) ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Arousal Curves and Getting Past Plateau | Ep. 145 | 27 Nov 2023 | 00:14:16 | |
Ever been stuck during arousal because you hit a plateau and you don't know what happens next? This episode is for you. Ellen outlines two main models for understanding and navigating female sexual arousal in this episode.
Get The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| How Do You Find Peace When Sex and Family Planning Don’t Go as Planned? | Ep. 144 | 20 Nov 2023 | 00:33:12 | |
Ellen and Kathleen discuss the topic of finding peace when sex and family planning don't go as planned. They delve into how controlling sexual outcomes can hinder the freedom and fullness that are inherent in marital intimacy. They suggest that recognizing the divine role in every sexual act and outcome, and surrendering the need for control, can lead to peace in family planning, even when things go awry. They also discuss the pressure of societal norms vis-a-vis family size, and encourage listeners to pray for peace in surrendering their families to God's divine plan. The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Embracing Patience: A Journey Toward Holiness and Intimacy | Ep. 143 | 13 Nov 2023 | 00:16:34 | |
In this episode, Ellen discusses the virtue of patience, particularly in the context of sex, marital intimacy, and pregnancy. She explores the connection between patience and our spiritual, emotional well-being and offers practical tips to make waiting more bearable. Her key messages underline that patience is a stepping stone to holiness and is not a burden. She emphasizes the need to embrace patience and view it as an opportunity for growth and spiritual development, going so far as to associate it with joy. Toward the end of the episode, she provides some strategies for practicing patience, like seeking holy distractions and understanding the root cause of any frustration or anger associated with waiting. APPLY NOW for the 2024 GIVEN Cohort Thank you to the GIVEN Institute for sponsoring this week's episode. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| What if my husband doesn't agree with just reasons to use NFP? | Ep. 142 | 06 Nov 2023 | 00:24:51 | |
In this episode of 'Charting Toward Intimacy', Ellen is joined by Kathleen's husband Michael. We'll explore how couples should handle disagreements on Natural Family Planning (NFP). We delve into varying perspectives on the justifiable reasons for using NFP, and consider the implications when one spouse does not agree with its use. The conversation covers the importance of effective communication, recognizing personal desires versus pleasure, and the significance of divine judgement in one's decisions. The episode emphasizes the need for empathy, understanding, and mutual alignment in a marriage with regards to NFP, while acknowledging the individual uniqueness of each relationship. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| What is the Male Equivalent of Flowers? | Ep. 239 | 22 Sep 2025 | 00:26:28 | |
Get the Catholic Sex Positions Guide right here! In this episode of Charting Toward Intimacy, Ellen and Kathleen explore the question: "What is the male equivalent of flowers?" They discuss the importance of pursuing your husband with small, thoughtful gestures that make him feel seen and loved, even if those gestures look different from traditional gifts like flowers. The conversation covers why flowers are meaningful to women, how men may appreciate simple things like snacks or a favorite meal, and the value of intentionality in marriage. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Spontaneity is Crap | Ep. 141 | 30 Oct 2023 | 00:24:22 | |
"I like spontaneity when it comes to sex, scheduled sex just seems too bland or routine" "Sex shouldn't be something you have to schedule a good sex life just happens" "If you schedule sex then you take out all the fun of it" These are all lies and awful ones at that. In this episode we're going to talk about why the idea of spontaneous sex is really not the approach you should be taking when it comes to your sex life. In fact, sex should be quite the opposite of spontaneous, it should be a priority. But we're not just talking about scheduling sex, we're digging into what people really want when they say that sex shouldn't be scheduled it should be spontaneous. Links: ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| How to get out of a sex rut | Ep. 140 | 23 Oct 2023 | 00:30:51 | |
Feeling like you're in a rut? Looking for some suggestion on how to get out of said rut? This is the episode for you. Ellen and Kathleen share from personal experience some of the best ways to get out of a sex rut. The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women is available now. Sign up for lifetime access. We highly recommend checking out Pray More Novenas if you have trouble remembering to complete a novena! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| All the Touches We Don't Want | Ep. 139 | 16 Oct 2023 | 00:27:21 | |
Touched Out and Bristle Touch. These are the two types of negative reactions to touch that we are talking about on the podcast today. We'll explain what those two things are and give you tips to combat them! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Oversexualized Culture | Ep. 138 | 09 Oct 2023 | 00:32:55 | |
Kesey Skoch joins us this week to talk about how our oversexualized culture is hurting our marriages, especially in the form of pornography. We talk about the real definition of pornography and how most of us have been exposed to pornography way more than we even realize. To hear Kelsey's story or get more information on how to be free, click here. The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women is available here. Special launch pricing of only $50 ends on October 6th, 2023. After that it goes up to $99, so get it now. If the link doesn't work for you, send me an email at podcast@ellenholloway.com ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Authentically Catholic Sex Education | Ep. 137 | 02 Oct 2023 | 00:23:32 | |
How was your sex education? Probably bad and not enough. In this episode we are diving into what is needed today in the church for adults: authentically Catholic sex education. We'll talk about what that is, where to find it, and why it's needed. The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women is LIVE. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Pregnancy Sex! | Ep. 136 | 25 Sep 2023 | 00:30:38 | |
We are answering a listener question in a full episode this week. We got a question about pregnancy sex and how it works with all the hormones, things feeling different, and positions. Listen in for tips ranging from positions to emotional support broken down by trimester. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Initiating | Ep. 135 | 18 Sep 2023 | 00:27:56 | |
Do you initiate regularly? If you don't, we think you should. But believe us, we're not sitting on our high thrones looking down on you with this topic, we're right there in the thick of getting more comfortable initiating ourselves. In this episode we're talking a little bit about why you should initiate more often, the conversations you need to have with your husband BEFORE you start initiating more regularly, and some ways to initiate if the idea of saying the words "Do you wannna have sex tonight?" makes you want to want to hide under your pillow or blush with embarrassment. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Rule Breaking | Ep 134 | 11 Sep 2023 | 00:28:38 | |
People pleasers and rule followers unite! We're talking about breaking the NFP rules in this episode and what that looks like for your marriage, potential pregnancies, and how your NFP instructor really doesn't care if you're choosing to break the rules. But also, if you "break the rules" meaning you use days within your fertile window, you should fully expect a possible pregnancy. Don't get mad at your body for working the way it's suppose to work. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Myth Busting NFP | Ep. 133 | 04 Sep 2023 | 00:33:59 | |
We're myth busting some common NFP Myths this week with special guest Agata! Ever wondered how to respond when people come at you with misunderstandings or just plain wrong info about NFP, fertility awareness or female fertility in general. We've got some answers and responses for you right here! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| You Can Do Hard Things | Ep. 132 | 28 Aug 2023 | 00:29:06 | |
God calls us to some very difficult situations especially concerning chastity and sexual ethics and morality within marriage. This comes up a lot during the fertile window when a couple is trying to avoid pregnancy and therefore needs to abstain. This week we are talking about how God will never put you in a situation that you can't get through without his grace. You just have to be open to that grace ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| What does the Church Teach About Female Orgasm? | Ep. 238 | 15 Sep 2025 | 00:15:05 | |
Check out the Orgasm Course for Catholic Women right here! In this episode, Ellen Holloway addresses the often confusing topic of female orgasm within Catholic teaching. She clarifies what is morally permissible, explains the importance of female pleasure in the context of marriage, and dispels common myths rooted in purity culture. Listeners will learn when and how female orgasm fits into the marital act, why it matters, and how both spouses can work together to foster unity and enjoyment. If you’ve ever wondered about the boundaries or significance of female orgasm, this episode offers clear, compassionate guidance. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Defining Licit and Illicit Actions | Ep. 131 | 21 Aug 2023 | 00:32:28 | |
How do I know if something is morally good or bad? Is there a way to judge the things we do in life (especially in the sexual realm) to know if it's the right thing to do? Yes! there is a way to judge human actions. The Church gives us a very clear, step-by-step process to evaluate the morality of an action. Ellen will talk you through these steps in this week's episode! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Do You Talk About Sex Everyday? | Ep. 130 | 14 Aug 2023 | 00:30:04 | |
Talking about sex can be very intimidating. We urge you to talk about "it" with your spouse regularly on this podcast, but how do you get into the habit of communicating about sex We'd like to introduce you to a new idea on how to bring the topic of sex into conversation on a regular basis and why it is important to regularly communicate about sex. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| The Banquet | Ep. 129 | 07 Aug 2023 | 00:29:40 | |
What is the Eternal Banquet, the wedding feast of the Lamb? What is that really? I mean honestly we don't know, but God gives us windows to peer in and see tiny glimmers of the glory that await us in Heaven. Sometimes we turn those windows, those icons to heaven into idols. Sex is one of those things that we idolize. In this episode we'll pose the question that you need to regularly be asking yourself, am I making an idol out of sex or am I allowing it to be the icon that it was designed to be? Disputation of the Holy Sacrament - This is the one we didn't know the name of! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Overcoming Pain | Ep 128 | 31 Jul 2023 | 00:29:05 | |
Pain with Sex is not normal. Let me say that again. Pain with sex is not normal. If you're experiencing pain, let this episode be the wakeup call you need to do something about the pain you're experiencing. Kathleen and Ellen share some of their experiences with pain and discomfort and give you some tips if you are experiencing pain! Links: Tighten Your Tinkler use code CHARTING50 for $50 off! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Living Your Best Life Throughout Your Cycle | Episode 127 | 24 Jul 2023 | 00:35:44 | |
Every heard the term cycle syncing? well that's not what we're talking about in this episode. We're talking about ways to understand how to live your life to the fullest through the different phases of your cycle. How can you maximize your energy levels and focus on family time in ways that won't make you stomp around your house wanting to throw everything out! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Your Mindset Around Sex | Ep 126 | 17 Jul 2023 | 00:30:52 | |
We're talking mindset when it comes to sex for those of us ladies. This is a huge topic and we just scratch the surface on opening up some of the reasons we think and act the way we do around sex and some tips on how to improve your mindset when it comes to sex! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Characteristics of a Healthy and Mature Sexual Relationship | Ep. 125 | 10 Jul 2023 | 00:37:17 | |
What constitutes a healthy sexual relationship? How do you know if you and your spouse have a healthy and mature sexual relationship? We dive into the characteristics of a healthy sexual relationship in this episode so that you can take stock of your own relationship. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Sex, Contraception, the Mass, and Blasphemy | Ep. 124 | 03 Jul 2023 | 00:33:29 | |
The Sacrament of Marriage and the Sacrament of the Eucharist have some incredible connections. In fact, marriage acts as a sort of analogy for the Mass. We're going to dive into this and even more in this episode. If marriage is an analogy for the Mass, what kinds of connections can be made about the use of contraception in a marriage and what that would look like analogously in the Mass? We'll answer that question too! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Why All the Rules? | Ep. 123 | 26 Jun 2023 | 00:27:25 | |
We are talking today about rules--the rules of our faith and how the rules around our faith are not arbitrary or oppressive! The church should not be viewed as oppressive, especially in regards to our sexuality. There's a really good reason it's not just free for all, and we're going to get into that in this episode. The Screwtape Letters by CS Lewis ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| You Have to Ask for What You Want | Ep. 122 | 19 Jun 2023 | 00:33:04 | |
Guess what! You and your spouse are different people who have different wants and needs. Your spouse is not going to want the exact same things you want and you're not going to want the exact things your spouse wants. In fact, you spouse might not care one bit about something you want, and THAT'S OK. Here's why, it's your job as spouse to communicate your wants and needs to your spouse. Your spouse isn't going to care unless you share how important it is to you. Sometimes that means you have to ask more than once. Sometimes it means you have to ask more than 10 times. Sometimes it means you have to charitably ask every single day for multiple years until it becomes clear how important it is. This applies both in and out of the bedroom too! Listen in for more on this topic and examples of how we've seen this play out in our marriages. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| How Open to Life Do We Really Need to Be? | Ep. 237 | 08 Sep 2025 | 00:22:22 | |
Grab the Catholic Sex Positions Guide right here! In this episode, Ellen and Kathleen discuss the real-life challenges of fertility decisions and what it means to be "open to life" from a Catholic perspective, emphasizing that openness is a posture of the heart rather than a checklist of actions, and encouraging listeners to seek God’s will through prayer, discernment, and honest conversation with their spouse, trusting that peace and clarity will come in many forms—whether through family, marriage, or deeper faith. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| One Surefire Way to Improve Your Sex Life with Dr. Sarah Bartel | Ep. 121 | 12 Jun 2023 | 00:30:19 | |
It might not sound as sexy as you think. The one thing you can do to improve your sex life is to work on your marriage as a whole! Looking for Abundant the full marriage course we mentioned on the podcast? Click right here! If you sign up through this link, you'll get a free one hour coaching session with Ellen alongside the course! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Sex is a Team Sport | Ep. 120 | 05 Jun 2023 | 00:30:01 | |
Here's the deal, you're not going to get good at sex by yourself. It takes two to tango! Sex is a team effort, and it takes practice to get good! The best sex happens when each spouse is focused more on the other than on themselves. If you're looking to get to have all-star sex, you need to train like an athlete. That means practice, communicate, and practice more! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Spontaneous Vs. Responsive Desire | Ep. 119 | 29 May 2023 | 00:27:08 | |
Did you know there are two main types of desire? Spontaneous and Responsive. If you feel like your desire is always lacking or you "never" feel like having sex, you might have responsive desire. Guess what: You're not broken at all. In fact, you're completely normal. When it comes to desire, sometimes just the knowledge of what kind of desire you have can help so much! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Sacramentality of Sex | Ep. 118 | 22 May 2023 | 00:36:05 | |
Sex is a window to something greater. It is an icon, or image, of God's love for us. Even within good, faithful Catholic marriages, sex can be a point of contention because we aren't seeing God through sex and our sexual relationship. We're looking at sex not through sex. When you switch your mindset and start to look through sex toward God, it becomes easier to love your spouse. (not EASY, it becomes EASIER!) ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| What the Heck is NFP? | Ep. 117 | 15 May 2023 | 00:28:20 | |
Want to get started with NFP but don't know where to go? Heard of NFP but you don't really know what it is? Have some questions about Natural Family Planning that you haven't been able to get a clear answer on? Look no further than this episode. Kathleen and Ellen answer the basic question of "What the heck is NFP?" We go over the cycle, methods of fertility awareness, the difference between birth control and using NFP, and a bunch of frequently asked questions about NFP like "why does is cost money?" and "do I need to have an instructor?" Looking for the method match course or coaching we talked about in the episode? Click here! ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Tips for Your First Time | Ep. 116 | 08 May 2023 | 00:49:48 | |
Got questions about your first time? We have answers! Kathleen and Ellen share a little bit about their own first times to make you feel like you're not alone if your first time is.....not so great. We touch on questions like "what lube should we use?" "How do we figure out positions?" "What if we're tired on the wedding night?" "My friend told me about bleeding, what's the deal with that?" Our Lube recommendations: Almond oil or Jojoba Oil Mentionables (get 10% off with code Ellen10) ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Sexual Wounds and Your Vocation with Sr. M. Karolyn Nunes | Ep. 115 | 01 May 2023 | 00:44:13 | |
Sister M. Karolyn Nunes is joining us this week to talk about sexual wounds and healing. As the vocation director of her community, Sr. Karolyn helps to direct many women discerning religious life to start their own healing journeys when they have sexual wounds. One of the things lacking in marriage prep is ensuring that the healing process has begun for sexual issues, baggage, addictions, etc. Sr. Karolyn is chatting with us about how we can integrate this healing into our own lives whether we are preparing for marriage or we've been married for 25 years. Interested in the book Sr. Karolyn mentioned? Into Your Hands Father by Wilfred Stinissen ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Can NFP be Used Selfishly? | Ep. 114 | 24 Apr 2023 | 00:30:32 | |
Let's talk about selfishness and NFP! This episode is stemming from a lot of talk about "contraceptive mentality." We're not really talking about contraceptive mentality in this episode, we're talking about the underlying question behind the conversations about contraceptive mentality: Can NFP be used selfishly? what about if you change the semantics and ask this question: can fertility awareness be used selfishly? The answer is actually different and we dive into what those answers are and why they're different. Here's a hint at the answers: NFP is not self correcting system where if your reason to avoid pregnancy is not "good enough" or "serious enough" you and your spouse won't be able to abstain for the fertile window. That's just not true for many couples. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Holiness is Hard | Ep 113 | 17 Apr 2023 | 00:30:46 | |
Ever heard the phrase "It's just not supposed to be this hard!" Maybe you've said it yourself. Well when it comes to your sanctification, it actually probably is supposed to be that hard. Holiness is hard, really hard. We're talking about how holiness is hard in relation to married life. A lot of the time engaged and married couples have a lack of understanding that marriage is for the other person and for sanctification, it's not for you and your happiness. The goal of marriage is to get you to human flourishing, but it's not through easy, it's through hard. When things start getting hard in your marriage, that's when you know you're actually on the right track. Here's some things that are hard in marriage, that actually aren't supposed to be easy: -NFP -Sex -Abstinence -Kids -Pregnancy -Finances In this episode we're going to be discussing that while life is hard, and holiness is through hardship, we're not just called to sit back and let the hard make us miserable. We should be actively engaging in the hardness and asking ourselves: how can I grow in holiness in this time? Work like it all depends on you, but pray like it depends on God. Interested in checking out the episode we mentioned about marriage being a battleground? A Letter from St. Valentine to Married Couples | Episode 104 Interested in checking out the Tighten Your Tinkler signature program? Click Here Use the code CHARTING50 to get $50 off. Check out Episode 70 with Jenn: Your Pelvic Floor is not a Magical Unicorn ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Scheduling Sex | Ep. 112 | 10 Apr 2023 | 00:23:17 | |
In this episode we are talking about scheduling sex--pros and cons, when it works and when it doesn't. Scheduling sex is a tool in the arsenal of ways to improve your sexual relationship. But here's the thing, scheduling does not work for every couple. Maybe it works for both of you, neither of you, or maybe it works for one spouse and not the other. For example, Here's a pro for scheduling sex: We give priority to things that are on the schedule. Are you prioritizing sex? If scheduling sex allows you to anticipate it, then scheduling might work great for you! But here's an example on the other side: sometimes life is unpredictable. Flexibility is so important; you need to have that flexibility. When scheduling sex becomes a pressure to have sex even if you have a really hard day, it could set you up for disappointment and duty sex (which is never a good thing). When it comes to scheduling sex, it's not going to work for everybody. There are a lot of different ways to go about scheduling sex and that's what we're talking about in this week's episode. Give it a listen, and maybe give it a try! Interested in checking out the Tighten Your Tinkler signature program? Click Here Use the code CHARTING50 to get $50 off. Check out Episode 70 with Jenn: Your Pelvic Floor is not a Magical Unicorn ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Arousal Doesn't Just Happen To You | Ep. 236 | 01 Sep 2025 | 00:15:27 | |
Stop dreading sex and take steps to get in the mood with the Getting in The Mood Guide right here! In this episode of Ellen Holloway breaks down the myth that arousal just happens on its own. She explains why arousal is an active process and shares practical strategies for inviting desire and enjoying intimacy more fully. Ellen discusses the importance of mindset, environment, and intentional actions in cultivating arousal, and encourages listeners to take positive steps to strengthen their marriages. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| Foreplay categories! | Ep. 111 | 03 Apr 2023 | 00:31:26 | |
Ellen and Kathleen are back with another Charting Toward Intimacy episode. This week, we are talking about foreplay. What is foreplay? We have two basic categories for you Anticipatory Foreplay and Escalatory Foreplay Anticipatory Foreplay is simply things that make you anticipate sex at some point in the future. Anticipatory is more emotional in nature, but can still be physical. Escalatory Foreplay is things that lead to arousal and then sex. Escalatory is more physical in nature, but can still be emotional. Anticipatory Foreplay can last a day or two or a week. Escalatory is more immediately leading to sex within the next few minutes or hour (ish), it's different for every couple. Interested in checking out the Tighten Your Tinkler signature program? Click Here Use the code CHARTING50 to get $50 off. Check out Episode 70 with Jenn: Your Pelvic Floor is not a Magical Unicorn ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| A Watched Pot Never Boils | Ep. 110 | 27 Mar 2023 | 00:33:25 | |
Have you ever felt like it's impossible to actually desire sex or to get turned on? Like the pot that doesn't boil until you walk away from it, you might be like us and not get turned on if you're thinking too much about it. It's not until you walk away, or focus on something else that your desire pokes its head out and looks around. We'll talk strategy and tips for getting your own pot to boil! Interested in checking out the Tighten Your Tinkler signature program? Click Here Use the code CHARTING50 to get $50 off. Check out Episode 70 with Jenn: Your Pelvic Floor is not a Magical Unicorn ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||
| God Is the Model of Intimate Sexual Communication | Ep. 109 | 20 Mar 2023 | 00:31:34 | |
God is the model of intimate sexual communication...excuse me, what?!? In this episode we're discussing how because our marriages are an image of the relationship God wants to have with us, the ways that God communicates with his people in the Old Testament is a model for us of how we should be communicating in our most intimate relationships. Namely, God is EXTREMELY specific, and you should be too! We'll give you some tips, our own experience, and some more background on this concept. Interested in checking out the Tighten Your Tinkler signature program? Click Here Use the code CHARTING50 to get $50 off. Check out Episode 70 with Jenn: Your Pelvic Floor is not a Magical Unicorn ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.com | |||