You can change your life. This podcast shows you how.
“I wasn’t like this before. I was full of dreams and life.”
“I know I’m capable, but I can’t move. I feel like I’ve lost myself.”
If that sounds like you, you’re in the right place. When you’ve been through a big change, whether a job loss or a relationship ending, life feels uncertain on the outside, and it’s normal to feel uncertain on the inside too.
You haven’t lost your ability. The old conditioning that once made you successful is now blocking your natural creativity and confidence.
Hosted by Dr. Amen Kaur, a scientist and former FTSE 250 partner, this is where you finally feel heard and understand yourself. Drawing on neuroscience, philosophy and spirituality, each episode brings science-backed tools to move out of survival mode, step into your power and reconnect with your self-worth.
In a world of AI, your greatest asset is your own infinite intelligence. When you express it, you change the world simply by being yourself.
Know your value. Shift your limits. Change your life.
New here? Start with the trailer. And here’s a gift to help you begin: a free three-minute assessment that shows you what’s holding you back, and what’s possible next. amenkaur.com/quiz
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It’s Not Too Late to Heal: 3 Ways Journaling Helps You Move Forward and Prosper
Wednesday, November 4, 2026 • Duration 30:39
It's not too late to heal. Dr. Amen Kaur shares 3 ways journaling helps you move forward and prosper, the research on writing and healing, and the missing step most people skip: love
It's not too late to heal what's been holding you back. Writing about your feelings can help your body heal, but it depends on how you use it.
In one study, people who wrote about their most upsetting experiences healed from a small wound far faster than those who wrote about their daily plans. And when researchers looked for the reason, they couldn't fully find it.
In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur explains what happens in your brain when you put feelings into words, why writing can leave some people feeling worse at first, and the one step that changes everything. Then she asks a bigger question: is there a power within you that science can't yet explain?
If you want 2027 to be a different year, one where you know your own value and create from the power already within you, find out about BEYOND at amenkaur.com/beyond
3 ways journaling helps you move forward
It calms your brain's alarm. Putting feelings into words engages the part of the brain that helps quiet the amygdala, your inner smoke alarm.
It lets old pain finish. Once your feelings are on the page, you can witness them rather than live inside them.
It makes room for love. Reading back what you wrote with kindness calms the body in a way positive thinking alone doesn't.
In this episode
Why writing about pain helped wounds heal faster, and why science can't fully explain it
The brain's smoke alarm (the amygdala) and the watchtower that calms it
Why you may feel worse when you first start writing, and why that's normal
How writing helped people who had lost their jobs find new work faster
The storyteller and the witness, and what's really happening when you feel you don't know who you are anymore
The missing step most people skip: love
Why kindness toward yourself calms the body, and positive thinking alone doesn't
What the mystics and philosophers have said about the witness, the presence within you
Try the practice
Give yourself 20 minutes and a pen and paper.
Name it. Write what's been weighing on you. Name every feeling.
Witness it. Read it back the way someone who loves you would.
Love it. Write a reply to yourself, as you would to a dear friend.
Then write one small next step. Try it three or four days in a row.
If what you're carrying feels too big to face alone, please reach out to a qualified professional for support.
Common questions this episode answers
Does writing about your feelings really help you heal? Research suggests it can. In a 2013 study of older adults, 76% of those who wrote about upsetting experiences had fully healed a small wound by day 11, compared with 42% of those who wrote about daily activities.
Why do I feel worse after journaling about something painful? Feeling worse at first is common. In James Pennebaker's original 1986 study, students felt worse while writing about painful experiences, yet visited the health center less over the following months.
What is the missing step in expressive writing? Self-compassion. Writing out pain alone can leave some people harder on themselves. Reading back what you've written with kindness, and replying to yourself with love, is the step this episode focuses on.
Research mentioned
Koschwanez and colleagues (2013), expressive writing and wound healing in older adults
Pennebaker and Beall (1986), writing about trauma and health center visits
Spera, Buhrfeind and Pennebaker (1994), expressive writing after job loss
Lieberman and colleagues (2007), putting feelings into words
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
Kross and Ayduk, self-distancing
Farb and colleagues (2007), two forms of self-awareness
Leary and colleagues (2007), self-compassion and painful events
Kiecolt-Glaser and colleagues (2005), relationship conflict and wound healing
Coan and colleagues (2006), hand-holding and the brain's threat response
Holt-Lunstad and colleagues (2010), social relationships and survival
Kangaroo mother care, Cochrane review (2016)
Kirschner and colleagues (2019), self-compassion and the body's threat response
Walburn and colleagues (2009), stress and wound healing
Broadbent and colleagues (2012), relaxation and surgical healing
Wisdom mentioned
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Catherine Ponder, The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity
Have questions first? Book a free BEYOND call: BEYOND call
Instagram: instagram.com/dramenkaur
YouTube: youtube.com/@dramenkaur
Podcast collaborations: amenkaur.com/contact
Welcome to Change Your Life with Dr. Amen Kaur
Thursday, October 29, 2026 • Duration 02:33
New here? Start with this short welcome.
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I don’t know who I am anymore,” this podcast is for you.
When life feels uncertain on the outside, it’s normal to feel uncertain on the inside. Dr. Amen Kaur, a scientist and coach, shares science-backed tools and real stories to help you find your real power, come through change and create the life you want.
Find out what's really holding you back. Take the free three-minute assessment: Free assessment
Ready to go further? Explore BEYOND, the 4-month immersion with Dr. Amen Kaur: BEYOND
Have questions first? Book a free BEYOND call: BEYOND call
Instagram: instagram.com/dramenkaur
YouTube: youtube.com/@dramenkaur
Podcast collaborations: amenkaur.com/contact
How to Stop Self-Hate and Learn to Love Yourself: 5 Lessons
Wednesday, October 28, 2026 • Duration 37:53
If you've tried to love yourself first and it hasn't worked, there's nothing wrong with you. Dr. Amen Kaur explains why self-love is learned through connection, what happens when you stop feeling you deserve good things, and the place inside you where you discover you are love.
Have you been told to love yourself first, tried hard, and still felt stuck? You're not failing. Research on attachment shows we learn how to treat ourselves from how others treated us, so self-love was never meant to be learned alone.
In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur shares her own story of learning self-love, a client story of going from burnout to promotion, and five lessons to help you stop being so hard on yourself and reach your next level.
Take your free assessment: find out what's really holding you back in about three minutes. Go to linktr.ee/dramenkaur and tap "Take your free assessment."
In this episode you'll learn:
Why you are the hardest person in your life to love
Why self-love is taught through connection, not figured out alone
What attachment research says about how we learn to treat ourselves
How hidden guilt and "I don't deserve it" stop you reaching for opportunities
The difference between soothing yourself and truly loving yourself
Why your brain predicts rejection, and how to test that prediction
How naming a feeling helps your brain settle
Why self-love is presence, and you are love
Can you learn self-love on your own?
You can, but it's slow and hard. Most people learn self-love through how they're treated. Research on earned security shows that adults who started out insecure can become secure later in life, often helped by mentors, partners, teachers or a supportive group.
Why is it so hard to love yourself?
Because you see everything about yourself, including choices nobody else sees. That closeness makes self-judgment easy. But being hard on yourself doesn't move you forward. It keeps you stuck.
How to know what you truly want (and what’s blocking you)
Wednesday, October 21, 2026 • Duration 28:57
Free assessment: find out where your core block sits in three minutes at linktr.ee/dramenkaur
How to know what you truly want (and what's blocking you)
Not sure what you want right now? Or do you think you know, but can't make yourself move toward it? In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur explains why we often want things so we'll be seen, rather than for how they make us feel, and how to tell the difference.
The short answer: ask how it will feel, not how it will look. Research shows people get more happiness from experiences, and from things they buy in order to experience something, than from objects owned for status.
In this episode:
1. The question isn't how you look. It's how you feel.
2. What you wanted might not fit anymore.
3. Where the need to be seen comes from.
4. The three things that block you: emotions, thoughts and your body.
5. Why love is the repair.
Research mentioned:
- Van Boven and Gilovich (2003) on experiences versus possessions
- Guevarra and Howell (2015) on experiential products
- Brickman, Coates and Janoff-Bulman (1978), and Diener, Lucas and Scollon (2006), on hedonic adaptation
- Kasser, Ryan, Zax and Sameroff (1995) on upbringing and materialistic values
- Lisa Feldman Barrett on the brain as a prediction machine
- Heinrichs and colleagues (2003) on social support, oxytocin and stress
- Arnsten (2009) on how stress affects the thinking brain
- Holt-Lunstad, Smith and Layton (2010): across 148 studies, people with stronger social relationships had a 50% higher likelihood of survival
You Are Not Too Sensitive: Why You Help Others Succeed But You Feel Stuck
Why can I help everyone else succeed but feel stuck in my own life? If you are a highly sensitive person, or you have been told your whole life that you are too sensitive, the answer is in how your brain is wired, not in your effort or your ability.
Highly sensitive people are not broken. They are more sensitive instruments. The same wiring that lets you read a room, feel what someone needs and solve their problem before they have finished speaking is the wiring that makes your own success feel exposed and painful to go after. That is why you can grow someone else's business, confidence or career and still freeze on your own.
In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur, trauma-informed coach, former scientist and host of Change Your Life, explains what the research says about sensitivity and what to do about feeling stuck.
What you will learn:
Why being sensitive is measurable and real. A 2003 brain imaging study at Wake Forest University (Coghill) gave people the same heat stimulus and found the people who reported more pain showed more activity in the pain-processing regions of the brain. Same input, different experience, visible on the scan. A 2014 fMRI study (Acevedo and Aron) found highly sensitive people show more activation in brain regions linked to awareness, empathy and action planning.
Why sensitive people help others succeed but stay stuck themselves. Most people carry a self-serving bias that softens criticism. Sensitive people often have less of it, so judgment of their own work lands fully. Eisenberger's 2003 UCLA research found social rejection activates brain regions that overlap with physical pain. Add scaffolding (Wood, Bruner and Ross, 1976), the way every skill is learned with someone holding the structure, and Lisa Hooper's research on children who became the carer in their family and grew up skilled at giving and unable to receive, and the pattern makes complete sense.
Why the usual advice fails sensitive people. "Put yourself out there" and "fake it till you make it" assume an average dose of confidence is enough. For a sensitive person it is not. Teresa Amabile's research at Harvard Business School shows simply expecting to be evaluated reduces creativity, and that the biggest driver of how people feel about their work is small progress on something that matters to them. The way through is to build where no one can see, until the evidence about who you are comes from you.
What does it mean when you say "I don't know who I am anymore"?
It means you lost the things that were telling you who you were. A job, a marriage, a home, a parent, a version of your life you expected to keep. Your sense of self was resting on those, so when enough of them go, it goes with them. It is not a sign that something is wrong with you, and it is not a weakness. It is what happens when the labels come off.
In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur explains why losing your identity and losing your motivation are the same thing, why they arrive in that order, and what brings both of them back.
Why don't I want anything anymore?
Because wanting something you believe you can no longer have is painful, so the mind withdraws it. A 2015 meta-analysis of 90 studies by Colin Leach and Atilla Cidam found that shame leads people to act when a failure feels repairable, and to withdraw when it does not. A marriage that ended cannot be unended. A job that let you go cannot be undone. So the system stops reaching. Your desire did not die. It was pulled back to protect you.
Why does losing a job or a marriage feel like shame rather than disappointment?
Because the standard you fell short of was probably never yours. Research on the self finds that shame tracks the gap between who you are and a standard you have taken in, and the standards that bite hardest are the ones that came from other people. Married by thirty. Successful by forty. The one who made it out. Disappointment is what you feel when your own plan fails. Shame is what you feel when you fall short of someone else's.
Why can I still enjoy things but not want anything?
Because enjoying and wanting run on different brain systems. Kent Berridge at the University of Michigan spent thirty years showing that wanting (the pull toward something) and liking (the pleasure once it is here) are separate. One can go quiet while the other is intact. That is why you can have a lovely afternoon with a friend and feel no pull toward anything afterward, and it is not evidence that you are broken.
Dr. Amen Kaur is a trauma-informed somatic coach and the host of Change Your Life. She spent over twenty years in recruitment and career development, latterly as a partner at a FTSE 250 company, and holds a PhD. She works with professional women rebuilding a sense of self after a major loss.
Finally Get What You Want: 4 Words That Reveal Why You're Stuck (& What to Do Instead)
If you lost your job, were laid off or made redundant, or came out of a divorce, and you know what you want next but cannot make yourself move, the problem is not discipline. In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur explains the science of why working harder stops working after you have been devalued, why you have no motivation even though you know what to do, and what actually switches motivation back on.
In this episode you'll learn
The four words that reveal where your energy is going: should, have to, need and want, and why only one of them moves you forward
Why shame keeps you repeating the exact behavior you are trying to change
What the still-face experiment reveals about attention, motivation and feeling stuck
The difference between being seen and being validated, and why praise never fixes it
The real cause of burnout according to burnout research, and why rest alone does not fix it
The two ways people cope with feeling unwanted, and why both keep you stuck
A simple one-week experiment to find your motivation again
Why do I have no motivation after losing my job?
Because a layoff, a redundancy or being managed out is an experience of being unwanted, and the human system goes still when attention and value are withdrawn. That is not laziness and it is not a flaw. It is the same response the still-face experiment shows in infants. Rest and pressure do not fix it, because neither one is the missing input.
Why can't I make myself do what I want?
Wanting is not willpower. Effort runs on wanting, and wanting runs on being seen. When something cuts the third one, the other two fail behind it. Motivation returns when you are seen for who you actually are, not when you push harder.
Know your value: Take back your confidence from difficult people
A difficult boss, a toxic relationship, or people who never saw your worth can leave you doubting yourself, even when you know you're good at what you do.
So when someone finally praises you, you brush it off. Or it makes you want to cry. The problem isn't that you can't take a compliment. It's that difficult people chipped away at your sense of your own value, and your brain is still predicting from that old map.
In this episode, I share five lessons to help you know your value again and take back your confidence:
Why deflecting praise is a signal, not a flaw
How judgment and shame keep good things out, and why the people who can't see you may not have the capacity to
Why comparing your weaknesses to other people's strengths hides your real value
How self-compassion gets your problem-solving brain back (the one most people get backwards)
Why your value grows as you express it
Along the way, we look at the brain as a prediction machine, a famous experiment with kittens, and what the research says about judgment, stress and self-doubt.
Know your value. Express your value. Receive your value.
Take the three-minute quiz to see what's holding you back and where to start:
Baumeister et al. (2001), Bad is stronger than good
Tangney, shame and guilt
Blakemore and Cooper (1970), visual development in kittens
Festinger, cognitive dissonance and social comparison
You're Not a People Pleaser. You're Proving Something.
Wednesday, September 16, 2026 • Duration 37:01
Find out where you are being held back. The quiz takes three minutes: amenkaur.com/quiz
You have been trying harder than you have ever tried, and it is not working. This episode looks at what actually happens to your sense of worth when you lose the thing you had been proving it with, why affirmations can make it worse, and two things that genuinely help.
Underneath most people-pleasing there is one thing going on. We are trying to prove we are worth something.
But proving your worth and feeling your worth are two different things, and one does not lead to the other.
In this episode I look at what actually happens when the thing you had been proving yourself through is taken away. Why effort stops working at exactly the point you need it most. Why the advice you have been given, including affirmations, can make it worse rather than better. And two things you can do this week that actually restore something.
I also share what happened in my own working life, a client of mine who went from being made to feel less than to thriving in a different environment, and a wasp at my daughter's window.
In this episode:
Why losing a role can feel like losing yourself
What the pursuit of self-esteem actually costs you
Rigid persistence, and why trying harder is not the same as trying well
What stress does to the part of your brain that makes decisions
Why affirmations backfire for the people who need them most
The open tab, and why unfinished things drain you
Two things that give you your capacity back
The research referenced:
Jennifer Crocker and Connie Wolfe, Contingencies of Self-Worth, Psychological Review, 2001
Jennifer Crocker and Lora Park, The Costly Pursuit of Self-Esteem, Psychological Bulletin, 2004
Robert Vallerand and colleagues, on harmonious and obsessive passion, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2003
Amy Arnsten, Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function, Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 2009
I'll eliminate your self-sabotage forever (the five-beat loop and how to break it)
You get close to the thing you want. The promotion, the business, the conversation you've been meaning to have. And something in you pulls back.
That's not weakness, and it's not a mindset problem. It's an old map doing its job.
In this episode I walk you through the exact five-beat loop your self-sabotage runs on, so you can catch it happening in real time. Then I show you how to break it, working backwards, starting in the one place most people refuse to start.
I also run my own through it. The boardroom, the seizing up, the boss who'd put his neck out for me, and the rule underneath it that I didn't know I was following.
What you'll take away:
The map you were handed early in life, and why self-sabotage is what happens at its edges
The five beats: want more, trigger, the body reacts, escape, relief, shame, and why the relief is what makes it sticky
Step one: start at the shame, and why love is the only thing that stops it fueling the next round
Step two: go back to the trigger and listen, with a short practice you can do while you listen
Step three: give your body one new experience, and the trick I stumbled into when I couldn't do it for myself
The deeper layer: what the Bhagavad Gita, the first letter of John, and the Guru Granth Sahib were pointing to long before the neuroscience caught up
Your next step: You now have the method. What you don't know yet is which of your five systems is holding the edge. Take the three-minute quiz at amenkaur.com/quiz and find out what to focus on first.
If this episode did something for you: Rate the show wherever you're listening. Share it with the one person who came to mind. And if you have a minute, a few words in the reviews about what shifted. I read every one.
Research mentioned:
Neff, K. (2003). Self-compassion: an alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity.
What is self-love, really?
Self-love isn't telling yourself you're wonderful. It's bringing love, understanding and compassion to the parts of you that you'd rather avoid, including the parts you judge, hide or feel guilt about.
Research mentioned:
Hazan and Shaver (1987), adult attachment styles
Roisman and colleagues (2002), earned secure attachment
Lieberman and colleagues (2007), putting feelings into words calms the amygdala
Work with Dr. Amen Kaur:
BEYOND is a 4-month immersion with Dr. Amen Kaur, built on her Human Intelligence Framework. It uses science, neuroscience and research to help you let go of the limits holding you back, through love and awareness, so you can reach your next level in your career or business. It includes a live Mastermind every Monday, direct Mentorship, and lifetime access to Self-Mastery training. Limited places each month.
Free assessment: find out where your core block sits in three minutes at linktr.ee/dramenkaur
About the host: She has spent over 25 years working with leaders, coached more than 1,000 people, and seen more than 200 through her programs. amenkaur.com
This episode is for you if you are a highly sensitive person, an empath, or someone who has been called too sensitive, and you are tired of helping everyone else move forward while your own business, career or next chapter stays on hold.
Free assessment: find out which part of you is carrying the most right now, your body, your emotions or your thinking, and where your core block actually sits. Go to lWhy can I help everyone else succeed but feel stuck in my own life? If you are a highly sensitive person, or you have been told your whole life that you are too sensitive, the answer is in how your brain is wired, not in your effort or your ability.
Highly sensitive people are not broken. They are more sensitive instruments. The same wiring that lets you read a room, feel what someone needs and solve their problem before they have finished speaking is the wiring that makes your own success feel exposed and painful to go after. That is why you can grow someone else's business, confidence or career and still freeze on your own.
In this episode, Dr. Amen Kaur, trauma-informed coach, former scientist and host of Change Your Life, explains what the research says about sensitivity and what to do about feeling stuck.
What you will learn:
Why being sensitive is measurable and real. A 2003 brain imaging study at Wake Forest University (Coghill) gave people the same heat stimulus and found the people who reported more pain showed more activity in the pain-processing regions of the brain. Same input, different experience, visible on the scan. A 2014 fMRI study (Acevedo and Aron) found highly sensitive people show more activation in brain regions linked to awareness, empathy and action planning.
Why sensitive people help others succeed but stay stuck themselves. Most people carry a self-serving bias that softens criticism. Sensitive people often have less of it, so judgment of their own work lands fully. Eisenberger's 2003 UCLA research found social rejection activates brain regions that overlap with physical pain. Add scaffolding (Wood, Bruner and Ross, 1976), the way every skill is learned with someone holding the structure, and Lisa Hooper's research on children who became the carer in their family and grew up skilled at giving and unable to receive, and the pattern makes complete sense.
Why the usual advice fails sensitive people. "Put yourself out there" and "fake it till you make it" assume an average dose of confidence is enough. For a sensitive person it is not. Teresa Amabile's research at Harvard Business School shows simply expecting to be evaluated reduces creativity, and that the biggest driver of how people feel about their work is small progress on something that matters to them. The way through is to build where no one can see, until the evidence about who you are comes from you.
This episode is for you if you are a highly sensitive person, an empath, or someone who has been called too sensitive, and you are tired of helping everyone else move forward while your own business, career or next chapter stays on hold.
Free assessment: find out which part of you is carrying the most right now, your body, your emotions or your thinking, and where your core block actually sits. Go to https://linktr.ee/dramenkaur and tap Take your 3 minute free assessment.
Research mentioned: Coghill et al. 2003, Wake Forest University. Acevedo, Aron et al. 2014. Eisenberger, Lieberman and Williams 2003, UCLA. Wood, Bruner and Ross 1976. Hooper on parentification. Amabile, Harvard Business School, on evaluation and the progress principle.
Would getting the job or the relationship back fix it?
No, and most people already know this because they have had the thing before and it did not settle them then. Jennifer Crocker's research on contingencies of self-worth found that staking your worth on achievement produces the volatility without the payoff. In one study, students who based their self-esteem on grades reported studying more and did not get better grades.
So what actually helps?
Self-compassion, which is the opposite of what most people assume. Juliana Breines and Serena Chen ran four experiments in 2012. People given a self-compassionate response to their own failure were more motivated to fix the weakness, and spent longer studying after failing a test, than people given a self-esteem boost. Easing up on yourself does not cost you your edge.
Who this episode is for
Professional women some months on from a layoff, a divorce, a bereavement, a home lost, an inheritance, children leaving, or an ending they did not choose. People who have done the work, know roughly what they want next, and still cannot make themselves move.
Chapters
00:00 "I don't know who I am anymore" and what it actually means 00:00 Why the labels were never yours to begin with 00:00 Why your wanting went quiet 00:00 Wanting and liking are different systems 00:00 Why getting it back would not settle it 00:00 The question underneath all of it 00:00 A short practice you can do right now
Research referenced
Colin Leach and Atilla Cidam (2015), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, meta-analysis of 90 samples on when shame leads to constructive action
Kent Berridge, University of Michigan, on wanting and liking as separate systems
Jennifer Crocker and Connie Wolfe (2001) and Jennifer Crocker and Lora Park (2004), on contingencies of self-worth and the cost of pursuing self-esteem
George Bonanno and Charles Burton (2013), Columbia University, on the fallacy of uniform efficacy in coping
Juliana Breines and Serena Chen (2012), on self-compassion and motivation to improve
Rupert Spira, on the awareness of being
Come and talk to me. I am offering a twenty minute coffee and a chat this week. You tell me where you are, and we look at the pattern underneath it. Click this Link
The four words
Should looks at what is missing. Have to looks at obligation. Need looks at lack. Want looks at the thing itself. Want is the only one that pulls you toward your goal.
Research mentioned
The still-face experiment, Tronick and colleagues, 1978
Donald Winnicott on the mirror role of the mother and the false self
Carl Rogers, 1957, on the core conditions of therapeutic change
Norcross and Lambert on the therapeutic relationship as the strongest predictor of outcome
Maslach and Leiter, the six mismatches that drive burnout
Hebbian learning, neurons that fire together wire together
Joe Hudson on shame, wants and the 10 percent more enjoyment experiment
Try this week
Pick one thing you keep telling yourself you should do. Drop the should. Ask how you could enjoy it 10 percent more, without changing it or buying anything for it. Then notice which of the four words you are using.
Coffee and a chat?
If you are capable and still feel stuck, grab a coffee and let's talk it through. Twenty minutes, no pitch, nothing to prepare. We will look at what might be keeping you stuck and what could help. Book here: Coffee & chat
About Dr. Amen Kaur
Dr. Amen Kaur is a trauma-informed somatic coach and former FTSE 250 partner with over 20 years in recruitment and career development. She helps professional women rebuild confidence and get what they actually want after major life and career transitions. Learn more at amenkaur.com.
Topics: no motivation after layoff, no motivation after redundancy, lost my job and feel stuck, can't motivate myself after losing my job, how to find motivation again, identity after redundancy, lost sense of self after job loss, feeling unwanted at work, managed out of a job, burnout recovery, career transition, feeling stuck after divorce, self-compassion, being seen, should vs want, still-face experiment, science of motivation
Dickerson and Kemeny (2004), stress and social evaluation
Gerber, Wheeler and Suls (2018), social comparison meta-analysis
Vazire (2010), self-other knowledge
Arch et al. (2014), self-compassion and stress
Crocker and Wolfe (2001), contingencies of self-worth
Vallerand, harmonious and obsessive passion
Arnsten, stress and the prefrontal cortex
David Linden, Johns Hopkins, and Lisa Feldman Barrett on the predictive brain
Joanne Wood, Elaine Perunovic and John Lee, Positive self-statements: power for some, peril for others, Psychological Science, 2009
Kitty Klein and Adriel Boals, Expressive writing can increase working memory capacity, Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 2001
Gabriel Radvansky and David Copeland, Walking through doorways causes forgetting, Memory and Cognition, 2006
Marily Oppezzo and Daniel Schwartz, Give your ideas some legs, Journal of Experimental Psychology, 2014
Find out where you are being held back. The quiz takes three minutes: amenkaur.com/quiz
If this episode landed, rating the show is the single most useful thing you can do to help someone else find it.
Gilbert, P. (2009). The Compassionate Mind. Constable.
Kirschner, H. et al. (2019). Soothing your heart and feeling connected: a new experimental paradigm to study the benefits of self-compassion. Clinical Psychological Science.
Texts mentioned:
Bhagavad Gita 6:5 to 6:6
1 John 4:18
Guru Granth Sahib, Ang 441
This episode is for reflection and education. It isn't therapy or medical advice.
