Confused by your relationship? Do you catch yourself second-guessing, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally drained? Whether you’re still in the chaos or trying to rebuild after leaving, this podcast is your lifeline.
Join Dr. Kerry McAvoy as she exposes the hidden dynamics of toxic relationships. You’ll learn how destructive personalities operate, the manipulative tactics they use, and the stages of abuse—plus the practical steps to heal and reclaim your life.
If you’re ready to break free, rebuild your self-worth, and find lasting emotional freedom, hit play and start your recovery journey today.
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They Told You Who They Were on the First Date: The Narcissist Red Flags No One Taught You to Hear
Season 5 · Episode 315
Thursday, October 15, 2026 • Duration 21:07
Feeling trapped in a toxic relationship? Get my free guide, Still Torn? 7 Signs You’re Emotionally Trapped: https://7-signs.subscribepage.io/
They didn't hide who they were. They told you on the first date—it’s just that nobody ever gave you the dictionary to read it.
In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she walks through the language manipulative people use from the very beginning, drawing on Jenny Young's research into how dangerous people reveal themselves in their own words. She shares the first-date moment she now recognizes as the earliest warning sign, and a story she's never told before about the night one sentence ended her relationship: "I can't believe you'd think that of me."
Recommended Videos: 1. The Narcissist Never Knew You: How Dangerous People Cast You on Day One https://youtube.com/live/ML8QUA7jTWs?feature=share 2. The Secret Skill to Spot Dangerous Men on Dating Apps https://youtu.be/VfwNh55oAf8
In this episode, learn: 1. Why rules and non-negotiables before they even know you signal signs of high level of control 2. How "treat me right and I'll treat you like royalty" turns love into a ledger 3. The test-and-apologize tactic: pushing a boundary, then saying sorry to see how much you'll put up with 4. Why a simple question gets met with sudden hurt, and what that timing tells you 5. Three questions that reveal whether there's any room for you in the relationship
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
Why Narcissists Need Ongoing Drama: It's All About Keeping You Exhausted & Under Control
Season 5 · Episode 314
Monday, October 12, 2026 • Duration 29:13
Feeling trapped in a toxic relationship? Get my free guide, Still Torn? 7 Signs You’re Emotionally Trapped: https://7-signs.subscribepage.io/
Have you noticed how the narcissist’s apology never is an apology? How yesterday's fight get rewritten so you’re the villain?
In this episode, Kerry and Lynn Strathdee expose the hidden mechanics behind chronic antagonism. Why some narcissists need ongoing drama to stay in control and to keep you exhausted.
The history-rewriting along with the non-stop crisis cycle are to keep you under control so you’re centering your life around them. It's about supply and control.
WANT TO GO DEEPER?
In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Lynn get practical. Learn how to spot the pattern vs. a one-off bad day. Discover how to protect your energy and plan an exit.
LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism and narcissistic abuse recovery, and former educator helping adults reclaim identity after chronic antagonism.
Reactive Abuse: 4 Questions That Reveal Who Was Really the Dangerous One in the Room
Season 5 · Episode 313
Thursday, October 8, 2026 • Duration 26:50
ARE YOU FEELING STUCK? Take the FREE “Toxic or Troubled?” survey to discover your relationship type and get instant access to a complete, private mini-course—educational overviews, reflective questions, grounding techniques, and new strategies tailored to your situation. ▶ Start here: https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey
Reactive abuse isn't a sign you've become the abusive one. It's the predictable end of a setup: months of provocation, timed for the moment you finally break.
In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on the night so many survivors never tell anyone about. When you, as the survivor, lost it. She also explains why the better question isn't "What's wrong with me?" but "What was being done to me?"
In this episode, learn: • The four questions that reveal who in the room was actually the dangerous one • Why they bait you into reacting, then use it to tell everyone how unstable you are • How exhaustion, deprivation and constant provocation wear down anyone's self-control • Gray rock vs. yellow rock, and why snark is still engagement • "Is this an old feeling or a new feeling?" — the question that steadies you in the moment
Dr. Les Carter: Stop Trying to Make a Narcissist Understand You — Do This Instead
Season 5 · Episode 312
Monday, October 5, 2026 • Duration 32:27
Are You Feeling Stuck? Take my FREE “Toxic or Troubled?” survey to discover your relationship type and get instant access to a complete, private mini-course—educational overviews, reflective questions, grounding techniques, and new strategies tailored to your situation. ▶ Start here: https://kerrymcavoyphd.fillout.com/toxic-troubled-survey
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What if every explanation you offer becomes ammunition? Have you noticed how a narcissist stays one-up without ever having to raise their voice
In this episode, Kerry and Dr. Les Carter expose the hidden power mechanics that keep you arguing in circles. Many narcissists use the Gotcha Game which flips every conversation into a confrontation because it’s all about power.
WANT TO GO DEEPER? In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Les get practical. Learn how to hold your ground, take your exit, and let go of the need to convince them.
DR. LES CARTER is the creator of Surviving Narcissism, an author and educator helping survivors build self-trust, healthy boundaries, and stay out of the power trap with a narcissist. WEBSITE: https://survivingnarcissism.tv/
They Didn't Miss You, They Ran Out of Money: How Hoovering Actually Works
Season 5 · Episode 311
Thursday, October 1, 2026 • Duration 21:04
Future faking hoovering isn't a change of heart. It's a second round of grooming, aimed at exactly what the first round wanted.
In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on what's actually happening when someone shows up with flowers, apologies and a raked pile of leaves after months of silence — and why the answer has almost nothing to do with you.
In this episode: • Why not being hoovered is a read on what you had left to give • Hoovering is a role vacancy, not a longing • Love bombing and hoovering: one objective, two stages, two sets of tools • Why "pathetic chasing behavior" isn't your flaw — it's how humans are built • The two questions that decode any hoover: what do they need, and why now?
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sadist? Does Naming Your Abuser's Personality Type Actually Help?
Season 5 · Episode 310
Monday, September 28, 2026 • Duration 29:30
What if naming the disorder never actually got you out? And what if the thing you've been calling proof was really just a way to feel in control?
In this episode, Kerry and co-host Lynn Strathdee take on the debate splitting the recovery world right now — one universal predator type, or many distinct subtypes.
You can know exactly what someone is and stay anyway. You can't choose your neighbor, your coworker, or the parent sitting next to you at the PTA meeting. Understanding the diagnosis is not the same as being protected from it.
Certainty feels like safety — and that's precisely why it's worth questioning.
WANT TO GO DEEPER? In the exclusive podcast extra, Kerry and Lynn get practical: learn a technique from Kerry's clinical supervision for reading a person by reading your own reaction to them. Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you subscribe today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse
LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.
Gray Divorce and the 30-Year Con: Why Covert Narcissists Never Wanted You to Leave
Season 5 · Episode 309
Thursday, September 24, 2026 • Duration 19:18
Gray divorce isn't a midlife crisis. For a lot of people, it's the end of a con that ran for decades.
When researchers ask why people divorce after 50, the top answer from women isn't money or infidelity — it was abuse.
In this highlight from Kerry's weekly live Q&A, she takes on why so many people stay in psychologically abusive marriages for 20 or 30 years, and why leaving late isn't a failure of judgment.
In this episode: * Why boomers are divorcing at four times the rate of 1990 * Why the mask falls on the honeymoon, in pregnancy, or after the baby arrives * The attribution bias that made you call a pattern a mistake * Why every "fresh start" was engineered — and why you weren't foolish, you were fooled * The staircase of escalation: from control to criticism to being told you "just don't think" * Why leaving late is a sign of strength, not weakness
Narcissistic Love Withdrawal: Why You Chase Their Affection and Lose Yourself
Season 5 · Episode 308
Monday, September 21, 2026 • Duration 43:16
Why did you do things you swore you'd never do, just to get their love back?
In this episode, Kerry and researcher Dr. Karen Mitchell unpack why affection from a narcissistic or predatory partner can feel like a drug. It's intense and strategic, and then it's suddenly withdrawn. They also explore who predatory people target: honest, kind-hearted people. And why recovery can take years.
This was never about you being weak. The pull you felt was engineered, and understanding it is how you break free.
WANT TO GO DEEPER? In the exclusive podcast extra interview Dr. Mitchell unpacks the hidden mechanics behind spotting human predators. Get immediate access to this and 100+ premium interviews when you subscribe today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse
DR. KAREN MITCHELL is a researcher and author of Human Predators, behind the largest global study on predatory behavior and neurological differences outside of prison settings. She advocates for a new framework — 20 attributes and 25 tactics — to identify human predators and expose how they control, isolate, and escape accountability without physical force.
DARVO Exposed: How Manipulators Make YOU the Abuser When You Confront Them
Season 5 · Episode 307
Thursday, September 17, 2026 • Duration 17:30
Why did the narcissist’s collapse look so real — curled on the floor, shaking, sweating, begging you not to leave — yet nothing changed after?
What looks like a breakdown is often a temporary loss of status, not a loss of identity — the defensive structure drops for 30 seconds, then rapidly reconsolidates and the manipulation continues. This is a highlight from a recent live Q&A, repurposed here as our second weekly podcast segment.
In this episode, Kerry unpacks the hidden mechanics behind narcissistic collapse and what it takes to step out of that role:
• Why the dramatic display is often a performance to block abandonment • Why true collapse requires remorse and self-reflection • How the defensive structure drops when challenged, then reframes and re-hardens • Why they demand you affirm they are still good
Why Narcissists Ruin Your Sleep: Don't Miss This Nasty Bedtime Control Tactic
Season 5 · Episode 306
Monday, September 14, 2026 • Duration 27:21
What if the reason you feel like you're always “nagging” has nothing to do with you being difficult — and everything to do with deliberate provocation?
In this episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy and Lynn Strathdee break down the hidden mechanics behind pathological provocation — why abusers poke, prod, and sabotage your boundaries at bedtime and beyond. How they insist on misunderstanding you, wear you down, and then recast you as the “whining nag” to make themselves the victim. This isn’t about the victim — it’s about the dysfunctional nature of the abuser.
Podcast Extra Exclusive Segment Want to go deeper? Become a Substack paid subscriber and learn why owning the traits you don't want people to see in you (your "difficult" side) is actually what protects you from being exploited.
Get immediate access to this and over 100 other interviews when you subscribe today. Join here -> https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse
Bring your questions live — Tuesday 60-min Live Stream (4 PM CDT/5 PM ET) & Wednesday Live Q&A at 11 AM CDT / Noon ET.
LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).
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