Booze and B-Movies – Details, episodes & analysis

After catching up on some youth sports, we try to figure out if the ARC Thrift Shops in the Denver Metro area are reuse/recycle centers or just a huge garbage can.

Nutcracker Massacre: A sentient, ambulatory nutcracker kills people as it tries to find its own version of the Sugarplum Fairy. Apparently it's animated by some jewels that some dude ate one time 100 years ago. Ten minutes of exposition in the middle of the movie does all the work in making you understand how/why this is happening. One guy gets his nuts ripped off with a nutcracker. The evil creature should have been able to talk.

Nutcracker Massacre final grade:

Steve didn't even like the premise of this one. Too much drama made a movie that was already not going to cut it even worse. 2.09/5.0

Brandon At one point, it looked like this movie might hit the right spots as a "silly thing comes to life and kills people in funny ways" kinda movie, but that only happened once. The rest of it was pretty boring. 2.27/5.0

Cocktail of the Week: Spiced Cranberry Bourbon

2 oz Bourbon

1 oz Unsweetened Cranberry Juice

1/2 oz Orange Liqueur

1/2 oz Spiced Cranberry Syrup

Combine ingredients in a mixing glass. Stir to chill and combine. Strain over ice in a rocks glass. Garnish with a handful of cranberries, a cinnamon stick, and/or a dried orange wheel, if you've got one.

Cocktail Grade: Looks, smells, and tastes like Christmas in a glass. Great flavor that's perfect for enjoying around the Yule Log. Highly recommended for making this movie or holiday gatherings more palatable. 4.9/5

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The Spotify website is down at the moment, so I'm uploading this from my phone. You're not gonna get much of a description. The mythology of of this one is that Santa is actually a demon who lost a bet and is forced to be nice for 1000 years. But, now that time is up. and he can go back to killing everyone, like he used to. Santa's Slay Final Grades Steve says he liked this one more than he wanted to or thought he would. The main character's relationship with his grandpa tugs at the heart strings. 3.74/5 Brandon agrees this movie was better than expected, but still can't seem to get his thoughts together to come up with a firm opinion one wy or the other. Maybe that's the martinis. 3.28/5 Cocktail of the Week The Nice List 1 1/2 oz Vodka 1/2 oz Peach Mead 1/2 oz Orange Liqueur 1/2 oz Fresh-squeezed Lemon Juice 1/2 oz Spiced Cranberry Syrup (recipe below) Mix all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Shake to chill and combine. Double strain into a chilled martini glass. Garnish with whatever you have on hand, lemon wheels, cranberries, whatever. A nice little seasonal cocktail. The spiced cranberry syrup is the star of this one, adding a unique flavor profile that makes you think of fall. 3.52/5 Spiced Cranberry Syrup Simmer 1 1/2 cups of unsweetened cranberry juice with several cardamom pods, a bunch of whole cloves, and a cinnamon stick for about 20-30 mins. Remove from hear, discard spices, and stir in one cup of sugar. Let us know what you thought of this one @boozeandbmovies on X, Threads, Instagram, or whatever else. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/boozeandbmovies/support

First, Steve shares the feelings he has deep in his heart for #orthodontists and we go over the CSU Lady Rams Hockey season-opening victory over the University of Denver. Then, on to the movie... Maniac Cop features a cop who is a maniac, killing innocents. But, even though we find out he has severe brain damage, he's smart enough to know he needs a fall guy on whom to pin these murders. So, he frames another dude who also has a sizeable chin, Jack Forrest. Unfortunately, the NYPD's greatest detective somehow knows that the patsy isn't actually committing the crimes, and he teams up with Forrest to find the real killer.

Maniac Cop final grade:

Steve Formulaic, middle-of-the road movie. It's not the worst movie you could watch, but if you don't see it, that's fine too. 2.5/5.0

Brandon Nothing about this movie is particularly memorable or interesting. It's a fine movie to space out in front of the TV with if you like watching dudes get stabbed with a tiny sword or chucked out windows. 2.5/5

Cocktail of the Week: Whiskey Smash

2 oz Whiskey

3/4 oz Simple Syrup

Three lemon wedges

A handful of fresh mint

Drop three lemon wedges into a cocktail shaker with 4-6 mint leaves. Muddle them together, then add the bourbon and simple syrup. Shake to combine and chill, then double strain into a rocks glass over ice. Garnish with a sprig of mint.

Cocktail Grade: Very lemony. Probably used too much lemon. Like, if Vitamin C were personified into a monster the size of the Incredible Hulk and Hulk Smashed you in the face. 3/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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First, it's not always fun and games in hockey, when you get hit in the head with a puck. Also, school field trips, and ordering stuff from a company that seems to only sort of exist doesn't always go the best. Then, on to the movie... Sleepaway Camp, is a movie that was actually intended to be scary, not one of our usual horror/comedy thing. Although this one does have enough bad acting to find a few bits to laugh at. It's apparently developed quite a devoted cult following due to its quaintness and twist ending. Long story short, don't interact with Angela, and you'll be OK. Otherwise you'll probably end up being killed or maimed in some kind of imaginative way.

Sleepway Camp final grade:

Steve An interesting spin on a thriller-type horror movie. Not particularly scary, but keeps your attention and does have the big reveal at the end. 4.0/5.0

Brandon A welcome change from the recent Andy Sidaris marathon. Done well enough to draw you in and get you invested in the characters. All-in-all, not a bad little movie cocktail with a wiener twist. 3.7/5

Cocktail of the Week: Deluxe Raspberry Collins

1 1/2 oz Whiskey

1/2 oz Ginger Liqueur

3/4 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

1/2 oz Simple Syrup

Drop four raspberries in a cocktail shaker with your liquid ingredients. Muddle them together, add ice, then shake to chill and combine. Strain over rocks in a Collins glass. Garnish with a twist of lemon and a raspberry if you're nasty.

Cocktail Grade: A light, refreshing summer cocktail. As we get into autumn, we're running out of opportunities to enjoy these kinds of drinks, so get them in now. Delicious. 4.8/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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First, a quick catch-up on #Election2024 (aka MasterDebaters), some youth hockey updates and a third installment of figuring out what gymnastics is like for eight-year-olds. Then, on to the movie...

Do or Die, the sixth installment of the L.E.T.H.A.L, a movie series that should stop doing and just die. Steve is curious to see how Andy Sedaris might refine his storytelling over the years, and it appears as though the answer is that he just decided to stop telling stories. Mister Miyagi shows up and tells our Secret Agent Women from the jump that he wants to kill them. Not exactly sure why, but whatever. Anyway, he hired six teams of assassins. Donna and Nicole have to face this challenge, sadly Taryn gets this week off. Ponch from C.H.I.P.s shows up to help the ladies. If the acting and writing haven't improved, at least they've at least got the timing of nudity/gun fight/chase scene down to a science.

Do or Die final grade:

Steve The lack of any attempt to tell a story in this one actually made it one of the better Sidaris movies. There were no draggy bits. 3.0/5.0

Brandon In the words of Mama Boucher, "Booby Movies is da devil!" 3.6980085/5

Cocktail of the Week: Gratuitous Sex on the Beach

Take a traditional Sex on the Beach:

1 1/2 oz Vodka

1/2 oz Peach Schnapps

4 oz Orange Juice

Splash of Cranberry Juice

Build the drink the the glass. Pour ingredients over ice and stir to combine.

Then add:

1/2 oz Midori Melon Liqueur

1/2 oz Malibu Rum

Garnish with a skewer of melon, peach, cherry and navel orange.

Cocktail Grade: Sweet punch-style drink. Don't check your blood sugar for a couple days. Could definitely sneak up on you though, if you're not paying attention. Much like a Sidaris movie, perfectly mid. 3/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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Picasso Trigger, the third installment of the L.E.T.H.A.L Cinematic Universe. This one crams even more pages of Playboy into the cast list. SEVEN former playmates. Sidaris has a formula. But as far as we can understand the plot: A homeless person's Ernst Stavro Blofeld vows vengeance on The Agency for having killed his brother in Hard Ticket to Hawaii. So, maybe it's more like Die Hard 3?

After several of their colleagues are rubbed out, L.E.T.H.A.L (aka Girls with Guns), with the aid of gadgets from the Professor, a Bosley from Charlie's Angels knock-off named Long Dong and leading man Travis Abilene take down the crime lord behind it all, Miguel Ortiz. Also, the first operative to die actually faked his own death and was a bad guy.

Picasso Trigger final grade:

Steve Sidaris' movie-writing skills are trending in the right direction. This one is probably a *better* movie than either Hard TIcket or Malibu Express. The nod to James Bond with all the gadgets was fun. 2.79/5.0

Brandon The plot of this movie is ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, again, nearly impossible to track. The boring bits of this one are exacerbated by the lack of...visual distractions...to draw your attention away from any monotony. Gotta give this one a similar score as the others, but the magic may be wearing off. 3.69/5

Cocktail of the Week: Ranch Water

1 1/2 oz Tequila Blanco

1 oz fresh-squeezed lime juice

Sparkling water

Build the drink the the glass. Pour ingredients over ice and stir to combine. Garnish with a lime wedge.

Cocktail Grade: A fine tequila-based spin on the Gin Rickey, low-sugar, low calorie, all health. 4.5/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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The one kicks off with some gardening chat, complaints about the Amazon return process at Kohl's when a person in line in front of you has no honor and youth sports seasons starting up.

As far as the movie goes, we check out Malibu Express, out of sequence in the L.E.A.T.H.A.L Cinematic Universe. Much like it's follow-up, Hard Ticket to Hawaii, which we reviewed in Ep 20, this one features more than its fair share of Early/Mid 80s Playboy Playmates, although the...exposure...they give and receive in this one outstrips Hard Ticket by quite a bit.

A poor-man's mash-up of Bo Duke, Fletch and Fred from Scooby Doo "investigates" computer sales to Soviet Communists, but that plot of the movie never really happens. Then there's another part about a guy with gambling debts who blackmails high-society women with explicit photos and videos. Then there's like three other unconnected storylines. This movie is basically the fever dream of a teenage boy with a Playboy subscription from 1982-1984.

The TL;DR version of the movie goes like this: Car, boobs, moustache, boobs, butt, car, gunfight, boobs, explosion, car chase, gunfight, boobs, helicopter, explosion, boobs, butt, The End.

The last ten minutes of the movie is devoted to a couple monologues by the good guy and the bad guy that are intended to help you understand what happened. They didn't help.

Malibu Express final grade:

Steve Entertaining only for being so ripe with opportunity for mockery. Soooo many topless women that it actually detracted from the story. 2.69/5.0

Brandon Plot was...tough to follow?...non-existent? Andy Sidaris doesn't know how to write a movie, but he does know how to employ Playboy Playmates trying to kick off a film career. 3.80085/5, if you were a kid with a calculator in the 80s

Cocktail of the Week: The Pineapple

2 oz Malibu Coconut Rum

4 oz Pineapple Juice

Build the drink the the glass. Pour ingredients over ice and stir to combine.

Cocktail Grade: A trip down memory lane to the old days in Columbus, OH. Delicious and nutritious. We did amp it up a bit by adding some 151 proof rum on a future round to turn it into the Caribou Lou (h/t Tech N9ne) 4.8/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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The school year has started here in Colorado, so we're adjusting to life after summer break. Maybe it's a parents' break then?

This week's movie, Cockneys vs Zombies, puts our two main characters in a real pickle. Their grandad's retirement home is about to be closed. They need cash to try to save it. So, what should they do? Assemble an Oceans 11-style crew of East End Dufuses (except for Katy, she seems pretty bright) to rob a bank. When their plan inevitably fails, they're just about to get nicked when...A GOD DAMNED ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE BREAKS OUT. Now they've really stepped in it. They've got to get way with the cash and save grandad and his friends from certain death.

Oh yeah, Honor Blackman is in this. She was Pussy Galore in Goldfinger (1964).

Cockneys vs Zombies final grade:

Steve Another well done zombie flick. Interesting characters, good humor, and decent writing make this a movie well worth your time. Less-than-spectacular gore effects get then knocked down a peg. 4.13/5.0

Brandon This one hits in all the right places. It falls a bit short of Dead Snow, but still a well-done, entertaining horr-medy. Dialogue and sight-gags combine to make a good-quality flick that is easily re-watchable. Guns, guts, and a punted baby. What more could you ask for? 4.48/5

Cocktail of the Week: Bramble

2 oz Gin

1 oz Fresh Squeezed Lemon Juice

A little squirty of simple syrup

1/2 oz Blackberry Liqueur

Combine gin, lemon juice, and simple syrup in a cocktail shaker and shake to chill. Strain over ice in a rocks glass. Float blackberry liqueur on top to create two-tone effect.

Cocktail Grade: Another pleasant spin on the "Liquor X/Sour" combination, of which we are a fan. We did add a little club soda on a subsequent round and that did seem to take it up a notch. Maybe berry liqueurs work better, for us, with a few bubbbles? 4.4/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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This one takes Steve on a trip down memory lane, as it's set in an early 1990s movie theater. Everything down to the black bow tie reminds Steve of his youth, except for the nudey movie.

The crew at a theater stumbles upon an old adult film, after a crazy weirdo crashes through a previously unknown doorway to a movie archive. The staff decides to watch the movie, thereby unleashing an evil succubus, who will kill them, crush their nuts, and rip off their wienies. Can this crew of AMC's past fight off a sex demon, or will they fall victim to their own vices?

More frontal nudity than you can shake a stick at, plus dismembered members and mutilated scrotums for your viewing pleasure.

Porno final grade:

Steve "Too many dongs for my taste," but overall a good movie. An interesting spin on the "found an ancient relic" horror trope. This production crew may have a future ahead of them. 4.00/5.0

Brandon A competently done movie. Not a "funny" movie, as far as the dialogue in concerned, but there are plenty of penis jokes to be had. Hits all the "horror movie" standards. 4.00/5

Cocktail of the Week: Pornstar Martini

1 1/2 oz Vanilla Vodka

1 oz Passion Fruit Puree

1/2 oz Passoa Passion Fruit Liqueur

1/2 oz Simple Syrup

1/2 oz Fresh-Squeezed LIme Juice

As much sparkling wine/champagne/etc. as you like

Combine all ingredients except sparkling wine into a cocktail shaker. Shake to chill, then strain into a chilled martini glass. Serve the sparkling wine on the side. Very classy.

Cocktail Grade: A fine martini. Sweet, but not overly so. Passion fruit puree isn't an easy ingredient to come by, so that knocks it down a bit. 4.325/5

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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We jump right into our highlights of #Olympics2024, everything from the cycling, to the triple jump, to ping pong. If you missed any of the big moments from Paris, tune in here to get caught up.

On to the movie, Mad Cow:

A mad scientist vows to continue his quest to create the perfect super-soldier by Frankensteining a bunch of body parts from powerful physical specimens. What could go wrong? Well, if the only head he has access to is that of a Holstein Friesian, things can go sideway quickly...and boy do they ever. Luckily a crack squad of very special police and the T.W.A.T are around the protect the citizenry.

Mad Cow final grade:

Steve This one would be an easy top-shelfer, were it not for the last 10 minutes. Bad acting, but funny writing that draws from other classic comedies was great. Unfortunately, gotta dock them for the extended ending. 3.69/5.0

Brandon There were plenty of laughs in this one, but at some point, it seemed like they were trying to hard. The good jokes could have hit better with more setup. Trying to do a Monty Python/National Lampoon/Every other funny move ever got a little busy. 3.56/5

Cocktail of the Week: Gin Daisy

1 1/2 oz Dry Gin, but it was good with "Gin" too

1/2 oz Fancy Grenadine

1/4 oz Benedictine Dom

3/4 oz Fresh-Squeezed Lemon Juice

Topo Chico or other sparkling water

Add all ingredients to a shaking tin. Shake over ice to combine, then strain over ice in a rocks glass. Top with Topo Chico. Garnish with lemon wheel.

Cocktail Grade: Another Anders Erickson homerun. Delicious, refreshing. Goes down faster than you'd think. 5/5

Fancy Grenadine Recipe

450 g granulated sugar

300 g 100% Unsweetened Pomegranate Juice

20 g Pomegranate Molasses

5 ml Rose Water

Heat sugar, juice, and molasses to a saucepan. Heat and stir to dissolve sugars. Cool and then stir in the rose water. Yields about one quart.

------------------ Contact us with feedback or cocktail/movie recommendations to: boozeandbmovies@gmail.com X: @boozeandbmovies Instagram: @boozeandbmovies Threads: @boozeandbmovies www.facebook.com/boozeandbmovies

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