Explore every episode of the podcast Boldschoolers

We discuss two keys to keeping your kids moving forward on goals that matter.

In this podcast we discuss taking ownership of your education and using SDL to chase curiosities.

Grab resources here: https://www.boldschoolers.com/toolkit

Video: https://www.boldschoolers.com/blog/SDL

Learn what particular kind of rest and relaxation is essential to optimal performance.

How to lower cognitive load and increase flow.

Learn to use the characteristics of flow.

Learn to use brain breaks to get into flow.

Have you ever been working intensely on something and you reach your breaking point? You feel like your head’s going to explode or you’re in total overwhelm. That’s a good thing gone too far. We need frequent breaks to release the pressure building up inside of us, like we do with a pressure cooker or Instant Pot. Our kids are no different. When they focus intently, the front of their brains is on overdrive, trying to make sense and encode what’s in front of them. After that kind of pressure, they need to release. I think of it like my homemade kombucha. During my first few months of making kombucha, I would second-ferment the bubbly drink in a tightly closed glass bottle for a few days to make it extra bubbly and delicious with flavored fruit. The first time I tried it, the glass bottle exploded all over my kitchen…and then… it happened again. I finally figured out that I needed to burp my bottles at least once a day. If I didn’t let the pressure out, it would literally explode. Our kids are the same way, they need to release the intensity of focus and that’s done through a brain break. A brain break is a 5-15 minute break to replenish the resources we’ve expended while focusing. I’ve talked with you, recently, about the struggle phase of learning. It’s the part where our kids are trying to learn new things. It’s a lot of work, so they need to relax and let go before an inadvertent explosion. Release allows our kids to get their conscious mind off of their work and turn on the unconscious mind to take over information processing. The brain likes patterns and it’s often very happy to sort and analyze behind the scenes while our kids’ brains do something else. Help your child learn to watch for signals that a brain break is needed. Kids sometimes get antsy or fidgety, brains start to swim or ache or eyes start to cloud over. Help kids recognize these physical and mental signals and catch them before they meander on. It seems that something mildly physical works the best for this kind of break. You don’t want your child to jump on a video game or the television because those activities keep the brain in active-mode. If we stay in active-mode, there’s no release and kids often feel more anxious and wound up. Here are some ideas for brain breaks to get you started: Drawing or doodling. Playing a musical instrument, if you have some proficiency already. You don’t want your brain actively involved. Going for a walk or kicking around a soccer ball Taking a shower, swim or stretch Building something with Lego or other modeling A brain break isn’t meant to be exhausting in any way, but instead it’s meant to replenish spent resources.

If your child stays in focus and has some skills in the area mastered and automatized, there’s a good chance of finding flow. Remember, flow is that state where you feel your best and perform your best. In flow, time slows down or speeds up, the critical voice in our head vanishes and we’re our most productive and creative self.

What often happens in flow, however, is kids are pulled out of flow through some type of interference and once they’re out, it’s back to struggle. The main sources of interference are noise and distraction. These might be in the form of siblings playing, parents interrupting, environmental factors or technology, such as a phone dinging or beeping. It often doesn’t take much to completely sideswipe a kid out of focus. The good news is that a lot of those disruptions are manageable with a little forethought. Clear the environment and place unneeded technology in another room.

Another form of interference is negative self-talk, which is harder to eliminate because it’s out of a parent’s control and you might not even be aware that it’s happening. When I talk about the little voice in our head, this is what I’m talking about. That little voice of sabotage lurking in the background to tell us we can’t or we aren’t good enough. When in flow, that voice is quiet and creativity is heightened during a flow state because the brain is busy bending, breaking and reforming what’s known into something new. If the little voice raises its ugly head, that process comes to a screeching halt.

Flow takes a lot of energy and brain chemistry to pull off. It depletes our resources dramatically, so if things like sleep, nutrition, hydration or exercise are compromised, it’s going to be pretty hard to stay in the zone reaping the benefits. These wellbeing practices are called precursors to flow for a reason. Kids need to dial them in to enable learning and performing at their best.

I’m often asked if flow, once found, can be prolonged. Yes! We can use our flow boosters of novelty, unpredictability and complexity to level-up the experience. For example, you might change the environment to something new or incorporate surprise or raise the challenge level slightly to include additional information. These things cause us to pay even greater attention. A child might add in a social component, such as doing a presentation for friends, which adds an element of risk, thereby deepening flow. Get creative and have fun mixing it up.

After experiencing flow, kids need to power down and rest. As mentioned, flow is using a lot of brain chemistry. Resources are depleted and need to be replenished. When kids are learning at their best, they need to store that information in long-term memory for it to be recalled later. That encoding happens in sleep. Other than paying attention to sleep, nutrition, hydration and movement, kids can incorporate a mindfulness practice, breath work or relaxing play with friends to help them recover and reboot.

Using mindset, choice and kaizen to get through the struggle.

When asked what we want for our children, we often say that we want them to be happy. Of course, that sounds right, but when we look closer at happy, what does that actually mean? Think back to the most significant moments in your own life. Do you find happy? Maybe it’s the birth of your children. When I look back at that time, I remember being scared out of my mind, unable to control my body and in a heck of a lot of pain. Maybe it’s getting married. On my wedding day, I remember feeling nervous and worried that it wouldn’t come off as planned. Maybe it’s starting a new job. Is beginning a new job ever a walk in the park? My point is that sometimes the most important things in our lives begin with feelings other than happy. Happy comes later as most things worth doing begin in all the glorious forms of discomfort, as it provides fertile ground for meeting worthwhile goals. If we only chased what was comfortable, not much would get done and nothing new would come of it. Where do your kids spend most of their time? Where do you? We’re drawn to those things we feel competent doing and therefore we spend a lot of time in our comfort zone. Most kids spend way too much time working on things they already know how to do and not enough time pushing the edges of what they don’t yet know. Maybe we all do.

Growth springs from discomfort and that’s where we’ll find our most important achievements. And as an added bonus, it’s where we’ll find flow. Flow is a state of consciousness where we feel our best and perform our best. When we are deeply absorbed in an activity we may lose track of time or quiet that annoying and highly critical little voice in our heads. We may feel completely connected with the world or the people around us. That’s flow and it’s where we are our most productive, capable and creative, so if we want to be at our best, we’re looking for flow. You may find it flying down a mountain-bike trail or skittering across a tubular wave. You may find it within creative writing or artistic painting. Whatever your jam, it’s probably waiting there for you.

Just as with happiness, flow begins in discomfort and can be elusive. We have to pass through struggle before we can get into flow. So instead of running from frustration, embrace it, knowing that happy…in the form of flow…comes later. Yes, we want our kids to find happy and we want them to find flow, but before that, we want them to dance beyond that edge of comfort.

When learning new skills, frustration can be a sign for kids that they are moving in the right direction. A child’s brain is busy loading and encoding information when learning new things, so the brain is very active and the little voice in their head could be protesting with doubts and distractions because it’s fully awake, as well. Have breaks, but stay with the process because mastery and flow will follow focus. In flow, parts of the brain shut down and go quiet, which allows time to bend and the little annoying voice to retreat. The unconscious takes over and skills are deployed flawlessly and creatively.

Flow can only happen when our brains know enough to let go, meaning skills are solid and deeply grooved in our brains, they’re automatic. If skills aren’t there, there’s nothing to hand over to the unconscious. Creativity happens in flow, in the empty spaces between things we already know. The more kids know, the more they can find flow…and creativity, but the process begins with that struggle…yes, the one we sometimes try to avoid. We want kids to productively struggle, but not aimlessly struggle. There’s a difference.

Where do your kids spend most of their time? Are they dipping into discomfort? Or dancing with things they already know how to do?

Here are some tips:

1. Automaticity typically happens after skills are mastered slowly and consciously…that’s the uncomfortable part, but we can ease that discomfort by making sure kids are working on skills that are just above their ability levels, not too easy and not too hard.
2. We can also make sure that kids are receiving enough immediate feedback to course correct and keep moving forward.
3. Poor mood can tank our ability to learn new things. Create an environment of positivity and optimism and tackle a poor mood with practices such as mindfulness, gratitude, and ample breaks throughout the day.
4. Dial in the precursors to flow: ample sleep, nutrition, hydration, plenty of movement and recovery.

As homeschoolers, when attention starts to drag, it's time for a state change.

How can you, as a homeschooling parent, take on clear goals that are not too hard and not too easy.

Getting quality feedback helps you to most effectively reach your goals.

Setting clear goals that matter to you as a parent can uplift and transform your day homeschooling.

As a homeschooler, finding space for yourself is vital for health and well being.

Homeschoolers balance out screen time with a high-quality leisure life.

A conversation about screens and finding time with our own thoughts. How can we create balance and wellbeing for our kids?

Threat leads to stress and a poor mood, none of which is good for learning. In this episode you'll learn about threat, how to identify it and how to eliminate it from your learning environment.

We continue to look at helping our kids develop a deep focus.

We explore why focus is important and discuss tips for helping our homeschooled children find it.

Learn the value of persisting through the struggle and what awaits on the other side.

In this episode, we discuss how to help your child through frustration by building awareness to be able to select the right tool at the right time.

We discuss upstream methods to build knowledge in order to prevent downstream frustrations when homeschooling.

In this episode, we talk about increasing daily connection to fill your homeschooling day with positivity and optimism.

Giving away choice when homeschooling can lead to cooperation and ownership over learning.

In this video we'll look at the different types of motivation and build awareness as to when we experience them and when we use them.

This magical state of flow is not only a major key to learning, but also to overall happiness. In today's episode we'll look at where our children spend the bulk of their time.

Learning HOW to learn is perhaps the most important focus we can have when homeschooling.

In this episode we'll discuss optimal learning, my own story of my three kids, and perhaps the most important questions to ask when you're homeschooling.

In this episode we'll look at how we can help children become aware of the little voice in their heads and shift that voice towards positivity.

You'll learn:

--How to begin to raise awareness of self-talk

--How to use a reference point to influence self-talk

--How to talk to your child about the little voice in your head

Help your child self-direct learning by learning how to chase curiosities.

You'll learn:

--A sample daily and weekly rhythm

--How to identify curiosities

--How to select curiosities

--How to develop an ability to focus

--How to determine if a curiosity can lead to a passion

Homeschooling families can follow children's curiosities and interests to create a highly motivating learning environment.

Incorporating small, daily habits can make homeschooling easier and more joyful.

Learn how your child can maintain focused attention through a daily homeschooling rhythm.

https://www.boldschoolers.com/blog/how-to-create-an-easy-rhythm-to-the-school-day

Learn to start and end your homeschooling day with a brief, focused and intentional meeting.

https://www.boldschoolers.com/blog/scrum

Focusing on processes, rather than content can help us know that our children are learning the right things for future success.

Homeschooling tips on following curiosities and goal setting, including how to boost intrinsic motivation.  

Working with kids can sometimes feel like a series of bribes and threats. In this episode you'll learn how you might create a more positively motivating experience for everyone involved.  

You'll learn:  

How to identify interests and curiosities  

How the brain filters information  

How to create daily goals that build upon your child's interests 

Homeschooling families can create an environment of positivity by framing throughout the day and helping children see alternative perspectives and opportunities for value.

Consider jotting down a few notes, perhaps in a journal or notebook.

1. The next time you feel a somewhat significant negative emotion, try asking yourself, “Is it true?” This may be challenging in the heat of emotion, but once you’re able to take a breath, see what you might uncover with that question.
2. Incorporate a gratefulness practice. This might be a short 5-minute practice you do with your child each day or perhaps it's a simple phrase of appreciation that you remind yourself of when life gets challenging. Some examples might be: "Lucky, I'm loved/rich/healthy/strong, etc." Pick something that resonates with you.
3. Start to identify the frames you put around the activities in your life that you get to do versus the activities that you have to do. What frames do you offer up for your children to experience?
4. Can you identify any activities or events that your child enjoys that you don’t particularly take pleasure in? Consider making time and space for those experiences.
5. Incorporate at least one environmental enhancer this week and note the result. You might suggest reading by flashlight under the kitchen table or taking a brain break up in the backyard tree. You might bake a special snack together or wear hats during writing time. The ideas are endless.
6. Try highlighting one of your fails of the week to your child. It might be a poor decision or something you tried and just aren’t good at yet...a place where you're developing your skills perhaps. Whatever it is, talk about it with a light, open and honest conversational tone.
7. Think about an activity that might celebrate current learning. Maybe it’s a themed party in the backyard with friends or family or maybe it’s a special field trip. How might you celebrate and cement learning in small and/or big ways?

Feel free to review last week's recording on environments of optimism.

 https://www.boldschoolers.com/blog/positive-frames

 If you enjoyed this content, please share it with someone that might benefit!

 Click this link for the free ebook, Milestone or Meltdown?

 At this time, I’m going to explore the idea of offering new content on a bi-weekly schedule. I’m finding that I’m spending so much time creating new content each week that I’m not having the time to create new products that will ideally provide even more value for you long term. My idea is to put out a vlog/blog/podcast/YouTube video every other week alternating with application and reflection ideas for that week’s content. You’ll still hear from me every week and it will build in some reflection time to let thoughts percolate and also time to try out new ideas, as well.   

Kids learning at outside of school may wonder if they are actually learning the things they need to know. In this episode, we'll discuss how to know when to level-up learning.

Including keeping confidence up by:

• Getting the Challenge/Skill level right
• Setting clear goals
• Giving effective feedback

In last week’s post, we discussed finding the Challenge/Skill Balance and building paper-thin progressions into daily clear goals for your child. Let’s spend a moment understanding these ideas, which might be a completely new way of thinking or perhaps some new language about how your child learns new things. Find the post, How do I know if my child is learning?  HERE.

When learning new things, we want children to be working on things that aren’t too easy and aren’t too hard. The Challenge/Skill Balance is the sweet spot you’re aiming for and typically it’s just barely above your child’s current competency level.

Examples:

Mathematics

1. Your child has mastered single-digit addition and is wanting to move to double-digits. You’ve explored the concept using real-world examples and now your child wants to try manipulating some actual numbers. In this instance, you might choose to start with addition facts that your child is most comfortable with and can recall quickly. Maybe smaller numbers are easier for your child or maybe your child wants to use manipulatives in some way to support the process. You’ll start small and build in probable wins to start. You may choose to be nearby for your child to lean into. You may choose to walk through several problems together (i.e. modeling) before slowly pulling back. This example uses paper-thin progressions that very slowly add complexity and balances out the challenge and the skill level so work is not too hard/easy.

 What is a new challenge that your child is interested in pursuing?

Do you have a good idea of where to start and how you might build understanding from that starting place?

1. Your child has started to notice patterns in the world: repeating shapes in the bathroom tiles and the patterns within pine cones and flowers in the yard.

Where might you find real world examples of a concept you are working on understanding?  Start to highlight such examples through conversation, games or in other novel ways.

To introduce the idea that patterns follow rules, you might introduce simple function machines. You might start very simply and take turns trying to figure out each other’s pattern rules. See an example below.

Leave the box in the middle blank and your child can try to figure out the pattern between the numbers on the left and on the right. A paper-thin progression would entail using slightly more complex functions within the box and then perhaps even moving to two or more function boxes or finding patterns both vertically and horizontally. In the example below, there is also a pattern of +3 moving vertically down the column of numbers.

3                                 5

6           (+2)             8

9                               11

12                             14

Writing

1. When learning about setting, you might begin to describe the places you experience around your house and then your neighborhood and then perhaps traveling to interesting settings in your larger community. You might discuss broad characteristics of setting, down to the smallest details. The large branches of the backyard mulberry tree reaching upwards as, the smaller branches droop with the weight of the ripe fruit, the juicy footprints left on the kitchen floor as the boy runs through the house after playing outside, the smell of fruit in the air and stains on his hands, etc. You get the picture. You might layer an understanding of a place across several weeks and start to move from simple identification and description to written expression of setting, refining descriptive language and word choice as proficiency develops. At some point your child may even start to think about how authors use setting as another character in a story, using examples from great writers.

In this example, paper-thin progressions start with what your child is already familiar with and slowly layer more and more detail atop that knowledge. A paper-thin progression may include starting with a verbal discussion and then moving to written language and then to more and more complex usage and application of an idea.

Watch for signs of boredom or anxiety when your child is learning. These are signs that learning may be too easy or too hard. If a child is shutting down, wandering off, full of distraction or complaint, you might also consider breaking learning down into smaller pieces if too hard or adding complexity if too easy.

In this episode, we’ll learn that motivation isn’t something you wait for, but rather something you build.

You’ll learn:

• How to use identity to propel kids forward
• How to celebrate mistakes and failure
• How to use feedback successfully with your kids
• How to leverage experts and mentors

In this episode, we discuss the Flow Learning Cycle and discuss the importance of flow and recovery in releasing stress, anxiety and keeping burnout away. You’ll learn about the play/work dilemma and why it’s not really a dilemma at all.

Including:

• How to use the four stages of the flow, learning cycle
• How to develop perseverance
• Boosting motivation and competence from small win to small win.

Our kids want to play and often adults want them to work. In this episode, Play vs. Work, we'll discuss the value of play and how "work" can be experienced as play. We'll also have a brief discussion on video gaming and why it's attractive to many kids.

In this week's episode, I thought it would be useful to answer some of the questions that I get from the families that I work with and my subscribers. You can feel free to ask me anything and I'll give you a few thoughts to consider. I may change my mind as I learn and grow, but these are my thoughts off the top of my head today.

Today, we are chatting about:

- Self-directed learning

- Video games: https://www.boldschoolers.com/gaming

- Independent and responsible students

- Attention

- Comparing to others

- Parent burnout

The ability to focus intently for any period of time is a rare and valuable skill. Developing such a focus into a practice of deep work is one of the greatest skills you can help your child master.

In this episode, we'll discuss how the brain learns in different ways and how you can help your child develop a superpower.

• Focus Mode
• Diffuse Mode
• The Pomodoro Method

When homeschooling there’s often a pull to replicate traditional schooling at home, even if we consciously want to educate differently. Being aware of that pull can help us to make choices that are more aligned with our own personal values.

In this episode, we’ll examine the use of workbooks to meet educational goals, including:

• When to question using them
• Times to use workbooks
• How to use them effectively
• Other alternatives

Are we asking the wrong questions? A new perspective to invigorate your homeschooling experience.

• There’s a lot of noise out there about choosing the “right” curriculum for your child, but the questions quietly whispering underneath all that noise may be what’s most important.

In this episode, we’ll introduce the following ideas:

• Why discussions about curriculum may not be the most beneficial to your child’s success.
• The value of extreme focus.
• The value of playful engagement and full immersion.
• The meaning of the Japanese word kokoro and how it applies to learning.
• The foundational blueprint behind the Boldschoolers logo.

Hello Beautiful Homeschoolers! In this brief welcome, I'll share a little bit about who I am and my intention of what I would like to share with you on this podcast on learning to learn.

In these episodes you'll meet many of the homeschooling children I talk with every week. What are their concerns? What are their hopes and ambitions? What isn't working for them and how might we address the needs so that we continue to get closer to optimal learning. You'll hear real-life wins and challenges and understand learning from a whole different point of view. Kids' opinions matter and you'll get to hear them here.

Welcome to the Boldschoolers Be Bold Blog!