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When Love Hurts: Inside I Love You, My Narcissist

In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, host Noelani Pearl Hernandez sits down with Ali and Stefanie Schmahl, the producers behind the powerful upcoming film I Love You, My Narcissist. Together, they explore the emotional complexity of loving someone whose behavior is manipulative, controlling, and deeply harmful.

Allie and Stephanie share what inspired them to create the film and how their research into narcissistic dynamics led them to interview survivors and experts, including Dr. Ramani, one of the leading voices on narcissistic abuse. The film blends documentary insight with fictional storytelling to help audiences understand the patterns, confusion, and emotional impact that narcissistic relationships can create.

During the conversation, they discuss the subtle warning signs of narcissistic abuse, why survivors often struggle to leave, and how manipulation, gaslighting, and power dynamics slowly erode a person’s sense of self. They also highlight why it’s important to challenge the myths surrounding survivors and recognize that narcissistic abuse can happen to anyone.

This episode is a powerful reminder that survivors are not weak, that narcissistic abuse is often misunderstood, and that conversations like these help people finally put language to experiences they may have carried silently for years.

Learn more about the film and upcoming release:

Discount Streaming 

https://tinyurl.com/Iloveyoumynarcissist

Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fh6bzqrhYc

Teaser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xjCWCuualc

Film Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/ilymn.film

Film Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/ilymn.film/

Alefcine Production Company

https://alefcinepictures.com/productions/

Alefcine Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/alefcinepictures/

Alefcine Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/alefcinepictures

Beyond Mommy Dearest

https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/

https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest

https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

If this episode resonates with you, please follow, rate, and share the podcast so more survivors can find this space.

And remember:
 You’re not crazy. You’re not imagining things. And you’re not alone.

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Silence Was Survival. Healing Became Her Voice. | Barbara, Author of Spells for Surviving a Haunted Childhood

What happens when the secrets you've carried your entire life finally find their way onto the page?

In this deeply moving episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with Barbara, author of the powerful trilogy Spells for Surviving a Haunted Childhood. Through a unique blend of memoir, poetry, magical realism, and healing practices, Barbara shares how writing helped her transform childhood trauma into a pathway toward healing.

Together, they discuss childhood neglect, abandonment, emotional wounds, trauma recovery, nervous system healing, parenting after trauma, and the journey from surviving to thriving. Barbara opens up about growing up with a mother who literally left her for the circus, navigating abuse, carrying family secrets, and ultimately discovering that healing doesn't mean forgetting. It means learning how to live alongside your past without letting it define your future.

In This Episode

• Why silence becomes a survival strategy for traumatized children
• How trauma physically impacts the body and nervous system
• The healing power of writing, journaling, art, and storytelling
• What a "haunted childhood" really looks like
• Growing up feeling unseen, unheard, and alone
• The difference between surviving and healing
• Learning to identify and name emotions
• Parenting after trauma and breaking generational cycles
• Why healing is not linear
• The impact of childhood abandonment and neglect
• How awareness becomes the bridge between the haunted and the healer
• The importance of finding safe people
• Healing from complex trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)
• Why survivors need spaces where they are believed

Trigger Warning

This episode includes discussions of:

• Childhood abuse
• Sexual abuse
• Emotional abuse
• Childhood neglect
• Suicide attempts
• Trauma and PTSD/C-PTSD
• Mental health challenges

Please listen at your own pace and prioritize your well-being.

Connect with Barbara

Follow Barbara on Instagram 

Buy Barabara books

Book 1 - https://amzn.to/49uI4Hs

Book 2 - https://amzn.to/4fN1I5d

Book 3 - https://amzn.to/4uysW4c

https://canva.link/9volf8vn68ucp1g - Feeling Wheel 

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean - ACEs

beyondmommydearest.com 

https://checkout.square.site/merchant/MLVPR1DTKQG4P/checkout/IHYS6DJ4XJCQKFSKT5ROOVXH - Drop in Session - $19.99

https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/

https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest

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Why Teens May (Temporarily) Push Their Parents Away - https://www.fosteringresilience.com/article/why-teens-may-temporarily-push-their-parents-away

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When Healing Goes Deeper: Understanding Trauma Beyond the Mind with Heather Cypel

In this episode, we sit down with Heather Cypel, an intuitive psyche specialist, energy body specialist, and sacred union coach. Heather’s work focuses on the connection between the energy body, the psyche, and the physical experience, and how unresolved patterns can shape how we think, feel, and move through the world.

Heather’s journey into this work began through her own healing. After experiencing health challenges that traditional medicine couldn’t resolve, she turned to energy work and became deeply committed to understanding the relationship between human behavior, the psyche, and the energetic body.

With a background in history, anthropology, and a lifelong study of human behavioral patterns, Heather now helps others explore the deeper layers of their experiences and begin shifting patterns at the energetic level.

✨ About Her Work

Heather offers a range of services designed to support emotional, relational, and energetic healing. Her work centers on creating space for clients to understand their patterns, release what feels stuck, and reconnect with themselves in a more intentional way.

Her services include:

• Energy sessions focused on the energy body and stored patterns
• Exploration sessions and coaching around emotional and behavioral dynamics
• Relationship and sacred union coaching
• Classes and trainings on energetic and spiritual concepts
• Trauma-focused energy recordings to support release and integration

Her approach is rooted in the belief that healing happens when we begin to understand what we’ve been carrying… and allow it to move.

🔗 Connect with Heather

• Website: https://www.heathercypel.com/about-heather.html
  
  
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heather.cypel/
  
  

🌿 What We Explore in This Episode

• The energy body as a blueprint for lived experience
• How trauma can become stored and show up as patterns
• The connection between the psyche, energy, and behavior
• What it looks like to begin releasing what’s been held

💛 Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you, make sure to follow and subscribe to Beyond Mommy Dearest so you don’t miss upcoming conversations.

You can also follow us on Instagram for more trauma-informed content, reflections, and updates from the community.

Your support helps us continue creating these conversations and reaching more people who need them.

Support the show

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Narcissistic Abuse & the Nervous System: Why Healing Feels So Hard (and Why You’re Not the Problem) | With Alea Coburn

🎧 Show Notes
What is the real cost of healing after narcissistic abuse?

In this deeply honest and emotional episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with Alea Coburn to talk about what it actually feels like to heal after growing up with a narcissistic and emotionally neglectful mother.
We explore the concept of choosing peace at the cost of aloneness, and why for many survivors, being alone can feel safer than being unseen, dismissed, or emotionally erased.

Alea shares her personal story of survival, including the physical impact of trauma on her body, experiences with performative care, and the moment she realized she could no longer stay in relationships that compromised her well-being.

Together, we unpack:
Why narcissistic abuse is so difficult to name
How shame gets internalized in daughters of narcissistic mothers
What “social invisibility” does to your nervous system
The difference between real care and performative care
How trauma shows up physically in the body
Why anger is not toxic, but a source of wisdom
Red flags in relationships that survivors often miss
The emotional cost of staying vs. the courage it takes to leave
This episode is raw, validating, and at times intense, but it is also deeply empowering.

If you’ve ever felt like you were “too much,” “too sensitive,” or responsible for your own pain, this conversation will help you begin to untangle what was never yours to carry.

💬 Key Takeaways
You are not too much. You were unmet.
Your body is not broken. It is responding to what you lived through.
Anger is not the problem. It is information.
Being alone is sometimes the first step to no longer being invisible.
Healing may feel isolating, but it is also where you begin to come home to yourself

🧠 What We Talk About
Narcissistic mothers and emotional neglect
Nervous system dysregulation and trauma responses
Shame, identity, and overcompensation
Performative care vs. real support
Physical symptoms of emotional abuse
Red flags in relationships
Boundaries, anger, and self-trust
Choosing aloneness as a path to healing

🔗 Work With Alea + Learn More
Alea Coburn is a truth-teller, pattern seer, abuse survivor, and advocate who helps women rebuild trust, intuition, and health after narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, and systemic trauma.
Her work is for women who feel unmet, unseen, and ready to reclaim themselves.
✨ Connect + Explore:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rusticpeach/
Website: aleatamar.com
Substack: aleacoburn.substack.com
YouTube: youtube.com/@aleacoburn
Self-Reprogramming Toolkit + Offerings: Available via her website
Live Event: Building Attunement For Her (2nd Run – April 3)

🔗 Resources + Links
Follow the podcast: Beyond Mommy Dearest
Work with Noelani: www.beyondmommydearest.com
Follow the instagrm: https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

Support the show

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🎙️ Too Sensitive or Trauma Alert? Intuition, Narcissistic Abuse, and Healing with Spiritbird Holton

✨ Episode Summary

In this powerful and grounding conversation, I sit down with Spiritbird Holten, a shaman and intuitive guide who has spent over two decades helping people navigate emotional pressure, relational dynamics, and major life transitions.

We explore what it really means to reconnect with your intuition after growing up in environments that taught you not to trust yourself. If you were conditioned to put others first, question your instincts, or believe everything was your fault, this episode will hit deep.

Spiritbird breaks down how emotional patterns are formed, why so many of us feel disconnected from our inner knowing, and what it actually looks like to begin coming back home to yourself in a way that is real, grounded, and sustainable.

🔑 What We Talk About

• What a shaman is in real, everyday language
• How trauma and conditioning disconnect us from intuition
• Why you were taught to doubt yourself and how to undo it
• The difference between fear and inner knowing
• Emotional patterns that keep you stuck in overwhelm and confusion
• Reclaiming your voice, your truth, and your sense of self
• What it looks like to move through life with more clarity, peace, and trust

🧠 Key Takeaways

• You are not broken, you were conditioned
• Your intuition did not disappear, it was overridden
• Healing is not about becoming someone new, it is about returning to who you were
• You can learn to trust yourself again, even if it feels unfamiliar

🌿 Connect with Spiritbird Holton

🔗 Explore her work and offerings:
https://holtonhealingarts.com/links/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

🧘‍♀️ Emotional Reset (signature tool for overwhelm + clarity):
https://pages.holtonhealingarts.com/the-reset_gl=1*1s3uo9w*_ga*MTg4NjM0ODQzMi4xNzcxMDE3Njk4*_ga_PGB8ETED8J*czE3NzM4ODQ5NDQkbzMkZzAkdDE3NzM4ODQ5NDQkajYwJGwwJGgw*_ga_D7ZY8MJJ9V*czE3NzM4ODQ5NDQkbzMkZzAkdDE3NzM4ODQ5NDQkajYwJGwwJGgw

🎙️ Listen to her podcast:
https://holtonhealingarts.com/links/?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

Spiritbird’s work focuses on helping people release emotional patterns, reconnect with their intuition, and move through life with more clarity, confidence, and peace.

🎧 Listen + Watch

Make sure to subscribe, follow, and turn on notifications so you don’t miss conversations like this.

🎥 Watch on YouTube
🎧 Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and everywhere you stream

💬 Share + Connect

If this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it.

Follow Beyond Mommy Dearest for more conversations on healing, identity, boundaries, and coming home to yourself.

🖤 Your Reminder

You were never too sensitive.
You were responding to something real.
And you can learn to trust yourself again.

Support the show

Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

What does it really look like to break generational trauma while raising children of your own?

In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, I sit down with Isabel Lopez, host of Parenting Without Permission, to talk about healing from a narcissistic mother while actively parenting in real time.

We explore what happens when you grow up in survival mode, become the “invisible child,” and then have to figure out motherhood without a blueprint.

From immigrant family dynamics to being put in anger management instead of being heard, to consciously raising empathetic sons in a culture shaped by machismo, this conversation is raw, honest, and deeply validating.

Breaking the cycle is not easy.
It is intentional.
It is exhausting.
It is brave.

If you are parenting while healing childhood trauma, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Growing up as the invisible child in emotionally unsafe homes
• Moving from Colombia to the U.S. and navigating immigrant family trauma
• Emotional neglect vs. physical survival
• Being put in anger management instead of being listened to
• Why many survivors of narcissistic parenting don’t remember large parts of childhood
• How trauma affects the nervous system and conflict responses
• Shutting down, freezing, or exploding after being pushed too far
• Breaking machismo and raising emotionally aware sons
• Letting your children fully express themselves
• Reparenting yourself while raising your kids
• Why “breaking the cycle” is much harder than people think
• Finding joy while still healing

Support the show

Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani Pearl Hernandez sits down with trauma-informed therapist and neuropsychology specialist Dr. Victoria Liu-Johnson to explore the deep attachment wounds created by narcissistic mothers.

Using the famous Harlow monkey experiments, real-world examples like Punch the baby monkey, and decades of trauma research, this conversation unpacks:

• Why daughters of narcissistic mothers still long for their mothers
• How attachment trauma rewires the brain and nervous system
• The difference between having a parent who provides and a parent who feels safe
• How culture, colonization, and family hierarchy complicate narcissistic abuse
• Why self-blame is a trauma response, not a truth
• What healing looks like through a biopsychosocial and liberation-oriented lens

This episode is for anyone navigating the mother wound, complex trauma, emotional neglect, and the lifelong impact of growing up with a narcissistic or emotionally unsafe parent.

You are not broken.
You were wired for connection.
And healing is possible.

Support the show

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Breaking Free: Healing Narcissistic Wounds and Rebuilding Self-Trust

🎙️ Episode Show Notes

Guest: Andressa S. Lopes

In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani Pearl Hernandez sits down with author and healing guide Andressa S. Lopes to explore what it truly means to recover from a narcissistic mother. Together, they talk about naming abuse, releasing lifelong guilt, and learning how to choose yourself without shame.

Andressa shares her personal journey of growing up with conditional love, emotional neglect, and chronic self-doubt, and how therapy became a turning point in recognizing the pattern. Noelani and Andressa also discuss how cultural expectations, family pressure, and generational trauma can make distance or no contact feel impossible, and why chosen family and community are often essential to healing.

This conversation centers survivors and reminds listeners that they are not broken. They adapted to survive, and healing is possible.

✨ What You’ll Hear in This Episode

• Why acknowledging pain is the first step toward healing
• How conditional love shapes people pleasing, guilt, and low self-worth
• The role of therapy in waking up to narcissistic abuse
• Why many narcissistic parents do not seek real accountability
• Guilt, grief, and fear around low contact and no contact
• How narcissistic parents use power, money, and third parties to control
• Cultural and immigrant family dynamics that intensify silence
• How abuse impacts adult relationships and boundaries
• Breaking generational cycles and protecting future children
• The power of chosen family and supportive community
• Why healing is nonlinear and happens one step at a time

🔥 Key Themes

• Acknowledging pain without minimizing
• Reclaiming identity and self-trust
• Breaking emotional dependence
• Cultivating self-worth
• Choosing peace and freedom

📚 Resources Mentioned

• Rising from the Ashes: From Pain to Empowerment: Overcoming Your Narcissistic Mother – Andressa S. Lopes
• Six Ways to Live a Better Life Without a Narcissistic Mother (free guide) – Andressa S. Lopes

👤 About the Guest

Andressa S. Lopes is the author of Rising from the Ashes and creator of a healing guide for daughters of narcissistic mothers. Her work helps survivors move from confusion and emotional dependence into self-trust, self-worth, and freedom. She creates educational content across social platforms to raise awareness about narcissistic abuse and recovery.

🔗 Connect with Andressa

Find Andressa on Instagram, TikTok, and access her books and resources through the link in her bio.

💛 Connecting with Beyond Mommy Dearest

Guided support spaces and facilitated discussions focused on boundaries, guilt, grief, self-worth, and nervous system healing. 

Low-cost support options outside the group through Zoom or WhatsApp.

A paid ongoing support group for deeper healing and consistent community.

• You do not have to do this alone.
• You deserve support.
• You deserve clarity.
• You deserve a life that feels like yours.

Support the show

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🎙 Episode Notes

In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, host Noelani Pearl Hernandez, trauma-informed executive coach, sits down with Brittanni Hendricks, MBA, ACC (ICF Associate Certified Coach), ICF-certified Leadership Alignment Coach, speaker, author, and creator of the Playful Power Method.

Together, Noelani and Brittanni unpack why workplace dynamics can feel eerily familiar for adult daughters of narcissistic, emotionally immature, or unsafe mothers. They name how survival mode follows us into leadership, why gaslighting at work is so destabilizing, and how high performers often confuse self-abandonment with resilience.

This conversation is for the overachievers, the emotional regulators, and the leaders who carry the invisible load. 

🧠 Topics We Cover in this Episode

• Why narcissistic family dynamics show up so clearly in workplaces and leadership environments
• What workplace gaslighting sounds like and why it destabilizes survivors
• Overfunctioning, people pleasing, and “masking” as professional survival strategies
• Why high performers burn out from responsibility without alignment
• Emotional load: what it is, how it builds, and why it compounds over time
• Conflict cycles at work: overexplaining, self-editing, avoiding hard conversations
• The hidden cost of silence: the price of not having the conversation
• Body signals of misalignment (brain fog, sleep disruption, tension, numbness, stomach aches)
• Why peace can feel unfamiliar after chronic chaos
• Recalibration vs pushing through: how to rebuild self-trust
• The Playful Power Method: reclaiming joy, playfulness, and agency without force

You are not broken.
You adapted.
Alignment is available.

💛 Work With Noelani / Beyond Mommy Dearest

Monthly Support and Trauma-Informed Small Support Groups
Support that is steady, not overwhelming. Community without chaos. Structure without judgment.

Guided Support Program
https://www.beyondmommydearest.org/supportgroup

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest

Podcast Page
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-mommy-dearest-podcast/id1871995241

⭐ Guest Bio: Brittanni Hendricks

Brittanni Hendricks, MBA, ACC (ICF Associate Certified Coach), ICF-certified Leadership Alignment Coach, is a speaker, author, and creator of the Playful Power Method. With more than 15 years of leadership experience in talent development and organizational effectiveness, Brittany supports leaders and working parents carrying a high emotional load. Her work centers high performing humans who are not lazy, broken, or unmotivated. They are often misaligned, and ready to stop compensating and start leading from clarity, peace, and power.

Brittanni is the author of It’s My Turn, a part memoir, part manifesto for people who have performed perfection long enough and are choosing alignment over approval.

🔗 Connect with Brittanni Hendricks

Website
https://www.brittannihendricks.com

Instagram
@playfulprofessional

Book a Free Alignment Audit to identify emotional load, body signals, and next steps toward alignment.

Support the show

Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

🎙 Episode Notes

Healing After Narcissistic Abuse: Trauma Bonds, Gaslighting, and Rebuilding Self Trust

In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, host Noelani Pearl Hernandez sits down with Laura Richards, international podcaster, speaker, and #1 bestselling author of Married To A “Nice” Guy: Getting Over Narcissistic Abuse.

Laura Richards shares her personal recovery journey after a 32-year marriage to a narcissistic partner and names the patterns many survivors live inside for years without having language for. Together, Noelani and Laura explore how narcissistic relationships form, how they escalate, why they are so difficult to leave, and what healing actually requires on a nervous system level.

This conversation addresses love bombing, future faking, mirroring, boundary violations, intermittent reinforcement, trauma bonding, and the long-term effects of gaslighting. They also talk about shame, grief, rebuilding self-trust, setting boundaries, and how survivors can begin creating a life that feels safe, steady, and their own.'

🧠 Topics We Cover in this episode

• Early signs of narcissistic relationships
• Trauma bonding and intermittent reinforcement
• Why survivors struggle with decision-making after abuse
• Nervous system dysregulation and hypervigilance
• Boundaries and self-love as protection
• Grieving the life you thought you would have
• Breaking generational cycles

This episode is for anyone who has questioned their reality, blamed themselves for staying, or wondered if it was “really that bad.”

You do not need permission to leave.
 Your body’s no is enough.
 Healing is possible.

💛 Work With Noelani / Beyond Mommy Dearest

• Coming Home to Yourself Guided Support Program
   https://www.beyondmommydearest.org/supportgroup
• Instagram
   https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest
• Podcast Page
   https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/beyond-mommy-dearest-podcast/id1871995241

⭐ Guest Bio: Laura Richards

Laura Richards is an international podcaster, #1 bestselling author, and speaker dedicated to empowering women. Through her global podcast, That’s Where I’m At, and her bestselling book Married To A “Nice” Guy: Getting Over Narcissistic Abuse, Laura shares her personal journey of recovery from a 32-year marriage to a narcissist.

Laura’s mission is to shine a light on narcissistic abuse and remind women they are never alone and healing is always possible.

🔗 Connect with Laura Richards

Instagram
 https://www.instagram.com/thatswhereimatpodcast/

YouTube
 https://www.youtube.com/@thatswhereimatpodcast

Facebook
 https://www.facebook.com/thatswhereimatpod/

Website
 https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/

Podcast

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thats-where-im-at/id1704083491

📚 Laura Richards’ Book

Married To A “Nice” Guy: Getting Over Narcissistic Abuse
Available on Amazon and major book retailers.

Support the show

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🎙️ Beyond Mommy Dearest

Episode One: Breaking Free: Healing Narcissistic Wounds and Rebuilding Self-Trust

In the first episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, host Noelani Pearl Hernandez, trauma-informed coach, mother, and wife, explores the lasting impact of narcissistic, emotionally immature, and abusive mother-child relationships and  Kimberly Weeks, Trauma recovery coach and Founder of Global Trauma Institute discuss their Jounery to Healing.

This conversation is for adult daughters who grew up in families that looked functional but felt unsafe, confusing, or emotionally heavy. Those praised for being strong or mature, yet never emotionally protected or believed.

Joined by guest Kimberly, a survivor of generational trauma, the episode examines how early survival patterns follow us into adulthood, shaping relationships, self-worth, and the nervous system.

Noelani challenges the “just grow up” narrative often used to shame survivors who create distance or boundaries, reframing those choices as conscious, adult, and often necessary for healing and generational change.

This podcast is not about blame or revenge. It’s about understanding impact, trusting yourself, and choosing clarity without shame.

Support the show

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This Is Not In Your Head: The Neuroscience of Narcissistic Abuse

In this deeply validating and eye-opening episode, Noelani Pearl Hernandez sits down with Meghan Woods, Licensed MFT, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional II, and Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician, for a powerful conversation about the long-term impact of narcissistic abuse on the brain, nervous system, body, and identity.

Together, they unpack why survivors often struggle to trust themselves, how gaslighting rewires the brain, and why narcissistic abuse is so much more than “just emotional abuse.” Meghan explains how trauma bonds mimic addiction through neurochemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, cortisol, and adrenaline, leaving survivors trapped in cycles of confusion, hypervigilance, dissociation, and self-doubt.

This episode explores:

• Why survivors often think they are the narcissist
• How narcissistic abuse impacts the nervous system
• Trauma bonds and the addiction-like cycle of abuse
• Hypervigilance, dissociation, doomscrolling, and nervous system shutdown
• The connection between trauma, autoimmune disease, shingles, stress, and chronic illness
• Why healing is not linear
• The difference between talking about trauma and actually processing it
• EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS) explained in accessible language
• Why boundaries and no-contact can feel terrifying
• How unresolved childhood trauma shows up in adult romantic relationships
• The importance of rebuilding self-trust and listening to your gut
• Healthy communication, nervous system regulation, and “take a break” techniques for couples
• Why narcissistic abuse survivors are not weak, broken, or “too sensitive”
  
  

“This is not in your head. This is physiological. This is neurological. This is psychological.”

Whether you’re healing from a narcissistic parent, romantic partner, workplace, or high-control environment, this episode offers validation, education, and hope.

Meghan Woods is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional II, and Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician specializing in trauma recovery, EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and narcissistic abuse treatment.

She is the founder of Connecting Pathways Trauma & Marriage Therapy Inc. and works with clients navigating trauma, attachment wounds, narcissistic abuse recovery, and nervous system healing.

Learn more about Meghan and her work at:
Connecting Pathways Trauma & Marriage Therapy Inc.

https://www.instagram.com/mwoodslmft/

Connect With Beyond Mommy Dearest

Beyond Mommy Dearest 

beyondmommydearest.com 

https://checkout.square.site/merchant/MLVPR1DTKQG4P/checkout/IHYS6DJ4XJCQKFSKT5ROOVXH - Drop in Session - $19.99

https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/

https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest

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Used in this episode 

Noelani’s Cup - https://amzn.to/3RlHA05

Heating Pad - https://shop.madeinsantacruz.com/page7.html

Axolotl Squishy Stress Relief Toy Glitter - https://amzn.to/4doyisK

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need this conversation today. Healing happens in community. 💛

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What do cult leaders and narcissistic mothers have in common?

More than most people realize.

In this gripping episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with Mark Vicente for a powerful conversation about narcissistic abuse, coercive control, cult psychology, trauma bonds, and the shocking similarities between cult leaders and narcissistic family systems.

Mark shares how his experience inside a manipulative organization led him to become obsessed with understanding narcissism and emotional control. What began as a search for answers eventually became the foundation for The Narcissist Playbook, where he interviewed self-confessed narcissists in an attempt to finally understand the mindset behind manipulation, gaslighting, shame, and coercive control.

Noelani and Mark unpack the eerie parallels between cult leaders and narcissistic mothers, including:

• Love bombing and emotional conditioning
• Data mining and psychological manipulation
• Trauma bonding and control
• Gaslighting and self-doubt
• Shame as a weapon
• Idealism and exploitation
• Why survivors blame themselves
• Why narcissists target empathetic people
• The connection between cults and family systems
• Healing from narcissistic abuse
• Learning to trust yourself again
• Why boundaries are essential for survival

They also discuss the emotional aftermath of leaving manipulative systems, the grief that comes with realizing you were psychologically controlled, and how healing often requires rebuilding your relationship with yourself from the ground up.

This episode is validating, emotional, eye-opening, and deeply important for anyone recovering from narcissistic abuse, toxic family dynamics, coercive control, or cult-like relationships.

If you’ve ever asked yourself:
 “How did I not see it?”
 “Why do narcissists all operate the same way?”
 “Why do I still feel trapped emotionally?”
 “Why does this feel so similar to a cult?”

This episode is for you.

The Narcissitic Playbook 

Make a donation and get a early screening, May 30
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What happens when love, manipulation, control, and confusion all exist in the same relationship?

In this deeply validating episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with counselor and criminologist Shalina Lodhia to unpack the hidden realities of narcissism, coercive control, intergenerational trauma, and emotional abuse. Together, they explore how subtle manipulation slowly erodes self-trust, why survivors often blame themselves, and how the body keeps score long after the abuse begins.

Shalina shares how her own lived experience witnessing domestic violence and coercive control in her South Asian community led her into counseling and advocacy work. The conversation dives into trauma bonds, gaslighting, narcissistic family systems, emotional invalidation, and the exhausting cognitive dissonance survivors experience when kindness and cruelty coexist in the same relationship.

This episode also explores:

• The connection between narcissism and coercive control
• Why survivors constantly question themselves
• The subtle signs of emotional abuse most people miss
• How trauma shows up physically in the body
• Why self-blame becomes a survival mechanism
• The difference between healthy conflict and manipulation
• The long-term effects of chronic emotional stress
• Why narcissists rarely seek therapy
• How to begin rebuilding self-trust after abuse
• The importance of journaling and external anchors
• Why healing starts with internal validation

We discuss cultural silence around abuse in Filipino, South Asian, and immigrant communities, and why these conversations are critical for breaking intergenerational cycles.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering:
 “Is it me?”
 “Am I overreacting?”
 “Why do I feel anxious all the time around this person?”

This episode is for you.
 
 https://www.instagram.com/counsellorshalina

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https://tr.ee/SxQNVoVxt9 - Free Guide: Narcissism & Coercive Control

Beyond Mommy Dearest 

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Male Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Story: Covert Narcissist Wife,  Gaslighting, Financial  Abuse & Smear Campaigns

🎙️ Abuse has no gender.

In this powerful episode of the Beyond Mommy Dearest Podcast, Noelani sits down with Doug Buggle, featured in The Narcissist Playbook, to talk about surviving covert narcissistic abuse, navigating the aftermath of psychological manipulation, and rebuilding self-trust after years of emotional chaos.

Doug shares his firsthand experience of being married to a covert narcissist, the confusion and trauma that followed, and the difficult journey through divorce and healing. Together, they unpack the difference between toxic relationships and true narcissistic abuse, how trauma impacts the nervous system, and why survivors often question their own reality long after the relationship ends.

The conversation also explores co-parenting, emotional safety, gaslighting, recovery, and what healthy relationships can actually look like after surviving abuse.

This episode is a reminder that survivors come in all genders and healing is possible.

✨ Topics Include:
• Covert narcissistic abuse
• Male survivors of abuse
• Gaslighting and psychological manipulation
• Trauma and nervous system responses
• Co-parenting after toxic relationships
• Rebuilding self-trust
• Healing from emotional abuse
• What healthy conflict looks like

🎧 New episode drops Friday.

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When Your Own Family Betrays You: The Breaking Point That Leads to No Contact

In this episode, we’re talking about the kind of betrayal that changes everything.

Joy shares the moment she uprooted her life to take care of her family… only to be discarded without warning. No conversation. No accountability. Just a notice on her door giving her 30 days to leave.

This isn’t just about conflict.
 
 This is about calculated harm, control, and the reality of what happens when narcissistic family dynamics reach a breaking point.

We also dive into:
 • What it feels like to be used and then discarded
 • The guilt of being “the only one left” to take care of your parents
 • How narcissistic parents rewrite reality to justify their behavior
 • The moment clarity hits and you finally say, “I’m done”
 • What it takes to start healing after deep betrayal

This episode is raw, honest, and validating for anyone who has ever questioned their reality or stayed too long out of guilt.

Key Takeaways:

• Betrayal from family hits differently, especially when you’ve been conditioned to stay
• Narcissistic dynamics often involve control, tracking, and rewriting the narrative
• Guilt is one of the biggest barriers to going no contact
• You are not responsible for sacrificing your life to take care of people who harm you
• Walking away is not weakness, it’s clarity

If this episode resonated, make sure to follow, rate, and share with someone who needs to hear this.

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Episode Summary

In this powerful and deeply validating conversation, Noelani sits down with Kylie B., author of The Narcissist’s Daughter, to explore what it really means to grow up with a narcissistic mother and the long road to healing.

Kylie shares her journey from confusion and self-blame to clarity, self-trust, and ultimately going no contact. Together, they unpack the emotional, psychological, and physical toll of narcissistic abuse—and what it takes to rebuild your identity when it’s been shaped by survival.

This episode is a reminder that healing is not linear, that your experience is real, and that you are not alone.

Key Topics Discussed

• What it’s like growing up without language for narcissistic abuse
• The moment everything “clicks” and you realize your experience isn’t normal
• The long, emotional process of going no contact
• Guilt, grief, and the internalized voice that follows survivors
• Rebuilding identity when you were never allowed to fully form one
• The impact of hypervigilance and emotional exhaustion
• Learning to trust your body and emotions again
• The role of chosen family and safe relationships in healing
• Inner child work and reconnecting with the self
• Why healing is a lifelong journey—not a destination

Important Links

Kylie’s Books

https://www.narcissistsdaughter.com

The Narcissist's Daughter : From Breakdown to Breakthrough - https://amzn.to/4mPYPCk

The Little Phoenix: A Story of Finding Home - https://amzn.to/3QsQgBk

Ellie the Little Phoenix: A Story of Finding Home - https://amzn.to/42wLoh7

The Phoenix Rising Journal Hardcover – https://amzn.to/3Oq5cQa

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🎙️ Let’s Get Your Shift Together: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse & Rebuilding Self-Trust

In this episode, we’re talking with Adriana Bucci about the kind of shift that actually changes your life, not the surface-level “just think positive” kind, but the deep, nervous-system, identity-level shift that happens when you start untangling from narcissistic conditioning.

Because let’s be honest…
when you were raised by a narcissistic mother, your “normal” was never actually normal.

💥 What We Get Into:

• Why healing isn’t about becoming someone new, it’s about coming back to who you were before survival took over
• How narcissistic conditioning shapes your thoughts, reactions, and sense of self
• The difference between coping mechanisms and true healing
• Why awareness alone isn’t enough and what actually creates change
• The subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways your nervous system keeps you stuck
• What it looks like to shift from survival mode into self-trust

🧠 Key Truths From This Episode:

• Your patterns are not personality flaws, they are adaptations
• You don’t need to fix yourself, you need to understand yourself
• Healing is not linear, but it is possible
• You are allowed to outgrow roles you were forced into
• The shift happens when you stop abandoning yourself

🔥 A Moment That Hits:

There’s a point where you realize…
it wasn’t you.

And everything starts to change after that.

🛠️ Connect with Adriana

https://www.instagram.com/letsgetyourshifttogether/

https://letsgetyourshifttogether.com/

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Follow, rate, and review so more survivors can find this space.

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In this episode, Noelani sits down with therapist Kirsten Cheong, LMFT, Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician, for a grounded and validating conversation about what it really means to grow up with a narcissistic or emotionally immature parent. They explore how anxiety, perfectionism, fawning, hypervigilance, and overthinking often trace back to childhood environments where safety depended on reading the room, staying small, and keeping a parent regulated.

Kirsten shares how her early clinical work with adults in addiction treatment and children in foster care helped her see the long-term throughline of trauma, especially the way childhood emotional abuse often shows up later as relationship anxiety, people-pleasing, and internalized fear. She explains why many high-functioning adults look calm on the outside while internally spiraling, and how that pattern can be a survival strategy rooted in narcissistic family systems.

Together, Noelani and Kirsten talk about fawning as a nervous system response, the impact of walking on eggshells, the way narcissistic parents block healthy individuation, and how survivors often struggle with authenticity because they were never allowed to safely become themselves. They also discuss the “introjected parent,” that harsh internal voice that keeps policing behavior long after the parent is no longer present.

The conversation also goes deep into no contact. Kirsten shares why she created her guide for cycle breakers considering no contact with family, especially for those carrying guilt, shame, and cultural conditioning around being a “good daughter” or “good son.” Both Noelani and Kirsten are clear that no contact is a personal choice, not a mandate, but they name how life-changing it can be for people leaving abusive family systems.

They also talk honestly about the limits of AI in healing work, the importance of finding a therapist who truly understands narcissistic abuse, and why feeling cared for in a therapeutic relationship matters so much for survivors.

In This Episode, We Talk About

• How anxiety and perfectionism can grow out of narcissistic family systems
• Why high-functioning survivors often look fine on the outside but are overwhelmed inside
• Fawning, hypervigilance, and constant scanning for danger
• The long-term effects of walking on eggshells
• Why narcissistic parents see autonomy and authenticity as a threat
• The “introjected parent” and the critical voice survivors carry inside
• How guilt keeps adult children stuck in abusive patterns
• What it can look like to choose no contact
• Why therapy with the right fit matters so much in narcissistic abuse recovery
  
  

About the Guest

Kirsten Cheong is a licensed therapist in California and a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician. She specializes in working with high-functioning, anxious, perfectionistic adults, especially daughters of narcissistic mothers and survivors of emotionally immature family systems.

Resources Mentioned

• Beyond Mommy Dearest - Noelani Pearl Hernandez
  • Beyond Mommy Dearest Instagram 
  • Beyond Mommy Dearest Website
  • Drop in Session Special - $19.99
• Kirsten’s Guide for Going No Contact with Family
  • Kristen's Instagram
  • Kristen's Website
• I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

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