**WARNING! This episode contains adult content and language. Listener discretion is advised.**

Staff Infection - This is a story you can just shove right up your ass.

Etsy's Testes - This is a story about a curse, a labyrinth, and an explosion. But not your typical explosion. This one is much much more painful.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Potion Commotion - In this tale, we’ll learn about taking risks. You see kids, sometimes, taking a risk can payoff bigtime! And sometimes… well, you’ll see.

Robots Don’t Float - This is a story about improvising. The best kind of solution is a creative one! Especially when it goes wrong. 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

The Ultimate Wingman - This is a Fairyfail first! A love story. We’ll hear about the paladin who tried to woo a princess, and the wizard who saved the day! Or rather, saved the date.

Cartwheel of Death - This is a story about one barbarian who defies the laws of physics. Because why walk or run when you can cartwheel?


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Well, Well, Well  - This is a story that teaches us you should choose your friends wisely. For instance, if the paladin in your party is evil, he might just try and kill you as a joke. Like an asshole.

Death by Chocolate - This is a story about kidnapping, ransoms, murder, and a lot of deception. We’ll learn first hand how to murder a guy and still come out a hero.


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

As a Matter of Artifact - This is a story about how one hero used his quick thinking and ingenuity to take down a whole pirate ship by himself. 

In Terror Gate - In this story, we’ll hear a new tale about the idiot brothers Tomax and Xamot and how they deal with assassins. 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

No Guts No Glory - This is a story about a choice. A choice between life and death. Helping yourself or seizing the glory. 

 Show and Fail - This is a story about a ghost and the heroes that try to help her. It’s not spooky, but it is pretty funny. 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Ritual Impossible - This is a story about stealing the show. Why should the Big Bad Evil Guy get to hog the spotlight? 

Captain Coot Roars Again - In this story, we’ll hear about another amazing take down by the great Captain Coot! Or… at least he says he did. 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Tone Deaf - This is a tale about finding that silver lining. Creating hope and happiness in the face of darkness and evil. Even when it’s really inappropriate.

Mimicking the Mimic - This is a story about not taking any shit. If someone throws something at you, you throw it right back. And if someone tries to take a bite out of you, well you just bite them right back.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Rotten Richard and the Chef’s Special - This is a story about a King who was kind of a dick, and the chef who saves the day.

Hrrrgggffffsss!! - This is a story about intelligence. Or rather, lack thereof. 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Work Smarter, Not Harder - This is a story about planning out your every move. Even when it’s not necessary.

Don’t be a Worrywart - This is a story about the importance of respecting mother nature. Don’t pet the wild animals, or you just might end up being attacked by giant frogs. 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

 Another Case of Mistaken Identities - This is a tale about distractions. Specifically very destructive distractions. It’s also a tale about why Chonk the barbarian is no longer allowed to touch magic items.

Lethe-al Tongue Twister - This is a story about the value of honesty. And also the value of wood to a woodchuck. 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Mistaken Identity -  This is a tale about resourcefulness, ingenuity, and a complete misunderstanding.

Goatsrider (Goat Scream) - The same submitter that gave us “The Tale of the Dragonborn Brothers”, now brings us a fantastic tale about a Ghostrider, an arch nemesis, and a cursed goat.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Barry's Pickaxe - This is a story about striking first and investigating later. It’s always better to risk catastrophe than spend an extra 2 minutes making sure your plan is safe.

Sirlyre on Fire -  In this story, we’ll learn that it’s bad to die. I mean, we all know it’s bad to die. But when facing a Death Tyrant, you really REALLY don’t want to die.


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Trigwix's Towertop Troubles - This is a story about having brawn over brains. I know it’s usually the other way around, but sometimes, you just have to rage a little.

Damn Nature, You Scary, Huh? - This story is from the same campaign as the story “Aww Rats” in which Krutch drank a potion and turned into a rat as a prank. But this time we have a story about Krutch drinking a different potion and turning into a rat as a prank.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies - This story comes from the live play D&D podcast, Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies. Or R.F.E.D. for short. And this is their origin story. A story about fails, successes, and everyone dying.

Stong Hand - This is a thrilling murder mystery that has it all. Murder. And Mystery.

R.F.E.D. Website - https://rfedpod.com/

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Sandpoint Show-offs - This is a heartwarming story about one rogue’s journey to save her brother. It’s also a lesson in the dangers of showing off.

Baaaad Idea, Great Execution - This a tale that seems to belong more in a cartoon than D&D. We’ll hear about how one party saved a wizard who just happened to currently be a sheep.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Tummy Time - This is a harrowing tale about rescuing a party member.

The Tale of the Dragonborn Brothers - This is a tale about two brothers. Not real brothers though. They didn’t share blood, but they did share one very distinctive trait. They were both really dumb.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Diacon the Digested - This is a tale about how you can’t always trust your own eyes. Things aren’t always as they seem. And your friends aren’t always as stupid as you think they are.

What's Kraken? - This is a tale about biting off more than you can chew. And also mutiny.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Here, Have a Poison - This is a story about misunderstandings and straight up forcefulness. 

Hurry Up Already! - We could use so many old sayings to describe this story like “Patience is a virtue” or “Curiosity killed the cat”, but the one that fits best is that old saying we all know and live by. “Don’t yell at the fighters who are carrying a heavy chest through goo.”

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Just Say No - This is a story about… well, drugs. Don’t do drugs kids. Especially if they’re a tainted batch of mystery drugs.

Getting Unlucky - This is a story that teaches us when something seems too good to be true, it probably is.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

DOOOOOOMED -  In this story, we’ll learn about the power of sacrifice and taking one for the team.

The Roar of Captain Coot - This is a story about finding your voice and standing strong in the face of certain death. 

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

You Can't Get Blood From a Stone - This is a lesson in risk taking and resourcefulness. And teaches us the value of a level head.

Jim, Enchanted - This is a charming story about commitment to friendship.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

A Wolf in Street Clothing -  In this story, we’ll learn some of the best ways to get noticed when you’re trying to be stealthy.

Tickets, Please! - In this tale we’ll learn that there is always more than one way to complete a task. Some people do it the easy way, and some people make things unnecessarily complicated.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

**WARNING** This episode contains adult content not suitable for children. 

The Virgin Voyage - In this story, we’ll learn about the importance of being humble and knowing when to fight, and when to run. 

 Snow is Water - In this tale, we’ll learn about why it’s important to stay calm and not panic. Otherwise, you may forget that there’s a very simple solution right under your nose. 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Anything For You! - This is a thrilling tale of dedication and loyalty. Even if it’s involuntary. You can check out the AllD20 podcast here: https://alld20.com/

Don't Be So Hasty - This is a story about never giving up. Even when things seem and probably are impossible. 

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

That's Using Your Head - In this story, we’ll learn about the power of creative thinking, and value in keeping things you would normally throw out.

Aww, Rats! - This is a tale about how even the best laid plans can backfire. Let alone the plans that haven’t exactly been thought through.

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Curse that Dragon - This is a story about how sometimes, it really is all about the journey. 

Sadness and Sweets - This is an epic tale about a doomsday device, some pretty intense psychoanalyzing, and a very important donut.

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Dragon Tales - This story is about resourcefulness, thinking outside the box, and being really really strong. 

Stupid is as Stupid Touches -  Keeping with our theme tonight, this is also a lesson in resourcefulness. Never work harder when you can work smarter. Or in this case dumber.

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

A Birthday Suit Bash - In this story we’ll learn about how you should never give up no matter the circumstances. Even if they’re super embarrassing.

The Massacre of the Twig Blights - This is a story of some brand new heroes off on their very first adventure. And they’re a little too eager to fight some bad guys.

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Babies and Booty Calls - The listener behind "The Whale Incident" has sent us another amazing story! This is a tale of heroism, sorrow, and one fateful snap decision. 

Please Stop Helping Me - This is the story of Tarion the warforged fighter and his very very short time with a group of adventurers who were only trying to help.

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

In this special collaborative episode, we teamed up with the live play podcast Caffeine Check to teach you what to do and what not to do when gathering information. But mostly what not to do. 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

A 'Miner' Mistake - In this story we take a trip into the Deadlands and learn that you should always look before you leap. 

The Whale Incident - This is another story about not quite thinking things through first, and making the best use of the things you have at your disposal. Kind of.

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Cayde's Blade Escapade - This is the story of how one dragonborn tried to take his luck a little too far.

It's Not What It Looks Like! -  In this tale we go back to basics and learn that things aren’t always what they seem.

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Judge Georgie - This is a tale that teaches us that spiking your party members' drinks is a terrible idea. It can lead to things like hot shirtless men, court rooms, and some really awkward mornings. 

Half-Pint Horrors - There's nothing to fear but fear itself. 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

How Not to Break the Ice - This is a story about looking before you leap. You should always make sure you fully understand the situation, before taking action. Especially when the action is lethal.

Third Time's the Charm - This is a story about death. Lots of it. But the worst part is that it just keeps happening to the same person over and over.


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Mad Mages - This story is about a wizard who dreams big. Very big. Like, definitely too big.

A Divine Robbery - A story about the power of deceit and persuasion. All for a good cause of course.

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Monk-ing Around - In this story we'll hear how one monk brings down the house with his fist of fury. 

Battle of the BFFs - This is a tale about the power of friendship, and also about the power of Stronkth the barbarian. 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Bee-lieve in Youself - In this story, we’ll hear about how a bard, a gnome, and a 20 foot cube of bees vanquish an entire clan of orcs.

Llama Drama - We’ll be hearing the tale of some cunning heroes who take a page out of the Trojan book. Kind of. 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Eldritch Blast Only Hits When it's Inconvenient - This tale is about a very unlucky warlock named Malethir. You can probably guess the rest. 

Bear Door - Tonight’s story is about a party who finds themselves caught up in the world of what if’s and maybe’s.

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

What's Bedtime FairyFails? Come get a good feel for the show. 

Free music for non-commercial use from https://www.fesliyanstudios.com

Grog - This is a classic style FairyFail, complete with a kidnapped princess, a dragon, and lots of treasure. 

Jkar You Kidding Me? - This is a story that teaches us the value of checking for traps. It also teaches us the dangers of throwing your weapons at your party members.


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Bad Ax Barbarian - This is a story about taking risks. Sometimes the safe solution is just boring, and you need to spice it up with some unnecessary danger. 

Crabs, Grannies, and a Wild Magic Surge - In this tale, we’ll learn how sometimes you can do everything right and things still don’t work out in the end. Some things are just unpredictable. But then, why else would you play a wild magic sorcerer? 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/
Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Look Out Below - This story teaches us the importance of letting the sneaky characters do the sneaking. Just because you can do it, doesn’t always mean that you should do it. This is

Kobold or Go Home - This is a story about using whatever you have at your disposal and looking like a total badass while doing it. 


Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

Tunnel Vision - This is a tale about how you should never rush into battle. Especially if the battle is in a narrow tunnel full of explosives.

Fire and Fails - This is a story about the importance of stealthiness. If you’re trying to sneak up on a bad guy at night, the last thing you want to do is start a fire and be as loud as possible.

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com

The Greased Werewolves Incident - In this story, we’ll hear about one of those rare instances when a spell does exactly what you want it to do. Which is great news for our heroes, and terrible news for the werewolves trying to kill them. 

This is Two Foes One Mug - In this story, we’ll hear about how one dwarf struggled to get along with a big scary bouncer. 

Theme Song by Joseph Gregory 

Music: https://www.purple-planet.com/

Sound effects from https://www.zapsplat.com