About the Guest

Ilana Golan is a groundbreaking entrepreneur, tech executive, and former Israeli Air Force commander. Known for being the first woman to command an F16 training squad, Ilana's career trajectory has been far from conventional. She has made her mark in Silicon Valley, succeeded in raising significant venture capital, and established herself as a respected voice on resilience and adaptive change. Currently, she is the CEO of Leap Academy, which offers strategic guidance to individuals seeking transformative career and life transitions. Ilana's journey is a testament to grit, resilience, and the power of reinvention.

Episode Summary

Prepare for an inspiring episode of Becoming UnDone with Toby Brooks as he engages with Ilana Golan, a formidable force in entrepreneurship and personal transformation. This week's conversation delves deeply into the trials and triumphs that have shaped Ilana's bold journey—from her early years training fighter pilots in the Israeli Air Force to her innovative ventures in Silicon Valley. Through heartfelt anecdotes and candid reflections, Ilana shares how setbacks have fueled her drive and commitment to aid others on their paths of reinvention.

Throughout the episode, Toby and Ilana explore pivotal moments of crisis and the clarity they can offer. The conversation touches on the concepts of resilience when facing unforeseen professional upheavals, and how Ilana has used her experiences to forge a new path with Leap Academy. This venture was born out of her tumultuous startup journey, teaching career strategy and empowering others to take charge of their professional trajectories. Offering insights into entrepreneurship, personal growth, and future directions, this episode is a rich tapestry of motivational themes interwoven with practical advice.

Key Takeaways

• Resilience in Setbacks: Ilana Golan discusses how being ousted from her startup became a catalyst for future success and personal reinvention.
• Power of Reflection: The significance of self-awareness and strategic planning in career transitions is highlighted as Ilana reflects on her journey.
• Strategic Career Leaps: A portfolio career approach and multiple income streams are essential strategies for living with purpose and adaptability.
• Phases of Life and Success: Ilana emphasizes understanding one's phase of life to redefine personal metrics of success.
• Community and Support: Creating a network of like-minded individuals who are also high achievers and driven can provide invaluable support and opportunities.

Notable Quotes

• "Sometimes wrong turns are the very ones that lead to the right place." – Ilana Golan
• "I needed to feel that regret. That regret was something I never want to feel ever again." – Ilana Golan
• "Every twist, every setback, every leap, she's redefined what it means to be resilient." – Toby Brooks
• "It's not easy, but it's simple. Execution can be difficult." – Ilana Golan
• "You want to be leap ready, even if you're staying there." – Ilana Golan

Resources

• Leap Academy: leapacademy.com

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

About the Guest

Quang X. Pham is a Vietnamese-American entrepreneur and former United States Marine Corps aviator. Initially arriving in the United States as a 10-year-old refugee fleeing a collapsing Saigon, Pham eventually became a decorated Marine Corps aviator. He is now the CEO of Cadrenal Therapeutics, a leading biotech company focused on innovative therapies. In addition to his professional endeavors, Quang Pham is a published author, capturing his incredible journey and insights in various books. His latest work, "Underdog Nation," conveys the themes of resilience and the power of seizing opportunities in America.

Episode Summary

In this enlightening episode of "Becoming Undone," host Toby Brooks converses with Quang X. Pham, a former refugee who rose through extraordinary circumstances to serve as a US Marine Corps aviator and biotech CEO. The discussion delves into Pham's dynamic journey—from navigating life as a Vietnamese refugee in Arkansas to achieving remarkable success in the Marine Corps and the biotech sector. Highlighting themes of grit, gratitude, and transformation, Pham shares how his early life challenges molded his path and helped him rise above expectations. 

Throughout the episode, Pham and Brooks examine the nuances of overcoming fear, integrating relentless action, and breaking through barriers that seem insurmountable. Pham emphasizes the significance of the ER principle—effort and result—advocating for a success mindset anchored in persistent action rather than passive aspiration. From recounting his love for baseball as a gateway to American culture to his ambitious professional ventures, Pham offers a paradigmatic illustration of the power of resilience. This episode is fully packed with discussions that encourage redefining setbacks into stepping stones and seeking out mentors across varied backgrounds.

Key Takeaways

• From Refugee to Resilience: Quang X. Pham illustrates a profound transformation from navigating life as a refugee to taking decisive steps that shaped his successful career in aviation and biotechnology.
• Overcoming Fear with Action: Pham emphasizes not letting fear stifle potential by focusing on action-oriented practices to achieve set goals.
• Effort and Results Principle: A core theme of the episode, the principle of aligning effort with expected results is explored as a pathway to personal and professional success.
• Global Sports as a Connector: The role that sports played in Pham's adjustment to American culture underscores the value of community and shared experiences.
• Mentorship Across Boundaries: Pham advocates for learning from diverse mentors—referred to as "admirables"—to foster personal growth irrespective of racial or cultural similarities.

Notable Quotes

• "I've never been a dreamer or a visionary. I was all about the mindset, which means taking action."
• "This is the number one country for underdogs. If you don't have the name, culture, or education, you could become whoever you want to become."
• "Learn English, learn how to speak, how to present, how to convince people. It's the greatest tool to be communicated."
• "Pursue your chi

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

About the Guest

Nick Peck is an accomplished author and former collegiate athlete, known for his compelling storytelling, particularly in his latest work, Only Way Out. Growing up in an abusive, alcoholic household in California, Nick faced significant trauma and adversity. He eventually found refuge in sports, earning a scholarship in football. Transitioning into journalism and authorship after retiring from athletics, Nick has made it his mission to inspire and help others through his genuine and heartfelt narratives. His works are informed by his personal experiences, motivating readers by illustrating resilience and the transformative power of storytelling.

Episode Summary

In this captivating episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks interviews author and former collegiate athlete Nick Peck, exploring themes of resilience, identity, and healing through storytelling. Nick shares his tumultuous upbringing in California, detailing how sports served as his escape from a life marred by trauma and instability. His latest book, "Only Way Out," is a compelling testament to his journey and an inspiration for others seeking solace and purpose amidst chaos.

The conversation delves into how Peck used writing as a therapeutic outlet, crafting a narrative that resonates with many. Touching on the power of family, forged in adversity, and the community found in sports, Nick offers valuable insights into how identity can be formed and reformed in the face of life's challenges. The episode also highlights Nick's journey of faith, mentorship, and the impactful role of writing in processing his past. This episode is a profound exploration into overcoming adversity and finding new purpose through creative expression.

Key Takeaways

• Sports can provide structure and a surrogate family for those growing up in chaotic environments, offering a path to new beginnings and opportunities.
• Writing and storytelling can serve as powerful tools for healing, allowing individuals to process trauma and speak truth from their scars.
• The importance of perseverance and gratitude is emphasized, with Nick underlining the mantra of "don't quit" as key to overcoming life's challenges.
• Faith evolved from a latent childhood connection into a guiding force, providing strength and perspective in overcoming adversity.
• Journaling is highlighted as a beneficial practice for mental and emotional health, encouraging reflection and preemptive coping strategies.

Notable Quotes

• "I think there's one thing that separates all great people from everyone else, and it's just that they don't quit."
• "Even though I loved my journalism gig, I was kind of looking for a purpose."
• "I was always questioning, 'Oh, why me?' But now I'm more grateful for it because it made me the person I am."
• "There's something so valuable about actually writing stuff down, especially in this ever-changing digital world."
• "Having faith in God has really helped me…there's always one person on my team, and that's God every single day."

Resources

• Nick Peck's Book: Only Way Out
• Nick Peck's Website

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

For Dr. Quincy Conley, days spent today helping faculty improve their teaching at AT Still University have become highly rewarding and fulfilling, but they weren’t exactly always what he’d expected or planned to do with his life. Self-described as a mediocre high school student who found most of his earliest successes in sports, it wasn’t until a mentor emerged later in high school that ideas of becoming an electrical engineer took root. He found himself in snowy North Dakota nearing the end of a degree with plans to be on the beach on the sunny island of St. Thomas—that is, until the terrorist attacks of 911 closed that door. A gifted teacher, Dr. Conley is also a skilled interviewer, as you’ll hear he turned the tables on me and got me monologuing about my past as only a talented researcher can. But above all, Quincy’s story is one of never being satisfied with what you know today and to relentlessly pursue your better, no matter what direction that pursuit might take you. I hope you’ll enjoy episode 41: LEARN with my friend Dr. Quincy Conley.  

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Roger Lipe, a longtime sports chaplain and author, shares his journey from a (his words!) mediocre high school wrestler to a successful sports chaplain and character coach. He discusses the importance of building trust and connection within teams, and how he helps athletes discover their purpose and passion. Lipe also talks about his new book, which focuses on developing the faith of elite sportspeople. Overall, his message is one of encouragement and inspiration, urging athletes and coaches to take risks and pursue their dreams.

Long serving Southern Illinois University Carbondale and around the globe, his most recent move is as a Character Coach for Nations of Coaches where he helps teams connect and build trust while they compete. Now a 15-time published author, his work has been translated into countless languages and has been used around the globe. I hope you’ll enjoy episode 40: CHAMPION with my dear friend Roger Lipe.  

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

It is Word to the 3rd: my reflections on purpose, life, and growth. I’m Toby Brooks, and I am a speaker, author, professor, and forever student. Each week on Becoming UnDone, I bring you guests who have dared bravely, risked mightily, and grown relentlessly—high achievers who have transformed from falling apart to falling into place. But every third episode, it’s my turn to reflect, refine, and reprocess—on Word to the 3rd.

Great to be back in the studio for another episode of Becoming UnDone! Continuing our reboot of my first foray into podcasting, a fairly short-lived show called “Better Every Week” co-hosted with my daughter Brynnan Brooks, I thought it would be great to dust this episode off, recut it a bit, and reproduce it here for my show. Now--as I was listening to our conversation, I was struck by the notion that it is pretty cool that we discussed the importance of being brave, of viewing failure through the lenses of growth, and the show was a little rough around the edges. Our microphones were pretty sketchy. The refrigerator kicked on mid-conversation. I mumbled into the mic too often. But we did it anyway. The best way to get better at something is to withstand sucking at it for a while. And we did.

But after just four episodes, our good intentions were overtaken by pressures, packed calendars, and in some cases good old-fashioned excuses. But as disappointing as that may seem on the surface, there were victories. I learned how to host and post a show. I discovered some ways NOT to record and how NOT to edit. And while I’m still and forever will remain a work in progress, I got better. I persevered. And now we are closing in on our 50th episode.

The conversation was a good one, too. In this installment, then-University of Oklahoma freshman and now Junior Texas Tech University vocal performance major (and my daughter) Brynnan Brooks leads the way to talk about all the ways that competitive athletes and professional artists are different. And even more so how they are a lot alike. It’s a fun topic that I hope you’ll find informative and thought provoking.  I hope you’ll enjoy episode 39: COMPETE 

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Dr. Ram Haddas' story is one of resilience and perseverance. He emphasizes the importance of taking action towards your dreams and never stopping pushing. Comfort zones can be dangerous, and it's essential to stay motivated and be responsible for your outcomes. Ram shares a personal story of taking on a new position during COVID and not having any data to publish. Instead of waiting for his lab to open, he contacted people with existing data and taught himself how to publish in areas he wasn't comfortable with, resulting in his first systematic review papers. Ram also highlights the value of seeking feedback and learning from failures. He shares a story of getting a lower grade in class and taking responsibility for his outcome by identifying areas of improvement and working on them. Despite facing numerous challenges, Ram is a testament to the fact that it is possible to rebound from difficult situations and come out stronger on the other side. He has experience in various roles, including as an athlete, soldier, entrepreneur, researcher, and now a professor, and has learned that failure is a crucial part of the process and can teach valuable lessons.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Words matter. The choices we make the words we choose to speak and to write send powerful signals to the people we are trying to lead or inspire can make all the difference between a powerful connection or a missed opportunity. For San Diego, California transplant Reed Maltbie, decades of experience as an athlete, a coach, and as a speaker had taught him the importance of the perfect word applied at the appropriate time for the proper audience. But it wasn’t until a trusted advisor and those closest to him inspired him to stop talking about the idea and to put them to work. His newest book, just released in April 2023, The Spartan Mindset: Mastering the Language of Excellence shares powerful and personal insights that are supported by science. Hear Reed share his own story of battling through dark times and finding victory through persistence, will, and the love and support of his family in Episode 37: THE SPARTAN MINDSET.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

This week was hard. It was a wake-up call for me. I was told that several people had been asking why I hated my job. I was dumbfounded. Hate my job? I love my job. I so appreciate the opportunities I get to try to inspire and teach others. In fact, it aligns directly with my purpose to help others discover and pursue THEIR purpose. However, I’ve probably been too transparent about my ambitions. I have goals and plans to multiply my influence and inspiring on a larger platform. And after hearing that hard truth that people think I am unhappy in the now, it made me realize two things.

First of all, not everyone in your circle is in your corner. If someone really has concerns about you, why would they talk to someone else without talking to you? Brene’ Brown talks about how the person who puts themselves in the arena shouldn’t concern themselves with the critics in the stands.

I get that. I do. But secondly, I also understand that I have a role in this, too. There’s a fine line between being transparent for the sake of trying to inspire someone and the flip side of coming across like you are disrespecting your current place in life.

I just got Kobe Bryant’s book, the Mamba Mentality, in the mail yesterday. I am looking forward to reading it, but Kobe is arguably one of the best examples of extracting every ounce of ability out of life through a borderline maniacal work ethic and commitment to excellence. But when Kobe was in high school at Lower Merion with dreams of NBA stardom, did people think he hated his high school? Did critics question his drive to reach the top? I doubt it.

My goals and my aspirations are to become the absolute best version of myself that I can. I’m working on a new degree. I am being mentored by people I respect and trust. I am mentoring others who also aspire to become THEIR best. I am doing my absolute best to be healthy and fit, productive, and impactful in my world. That’s the message I’d hoped the example of my life was SENDING out into the world.

And yet somehow apparently the message that was received was that I hated my job.

I missed the mark.

This show is my latest attempt at podcasting, but it’s not my first. That would be Better Every Week, a show my daughter Brynnan and I launched during her freshman year of college. I loved it, but it was hard for us to keep to a schedule. We ended up recording and producing just four episodes. I thought it would be fun to go back and perhaps re-release or repurpose some of the content here on my show now. And wouldn’t you know it: the first episode, we talked about how off-putting my drive and ambition has been even to my own family.

That said, I hope you’ll enjoy this look back to a show my daughter Brynnan and I recorded during the first semester of her freshman year of college when she was at the University of Oklahoma.

And I am also happy to say that she and her friends are working on a new show of their own, hopefully launching soon. So while Better Every Week was a well-intentioned but fairly short-lived effort, we don’t view it as a failure. It was simply a step on the path toward success. 

I hope you’ll enjoy episode 36: TOXIC MOTIVATION

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Sometimes, life can throw us curveballs that, in retrospect, can set us off in new directions. For California native Stacie Salazar, it was a series of chance happenings and encounters centered mostly around softball early in her formative years that started her toward a life in sport. When her father was diagnosed with cancer early in her childhood, he set out to spend as much time with his family as possible, she started playing catch with him in the backyard. From there, her love of softball grew through rec leagues and early experiences on the diamond. However, when she wasn’t picked for her 12U all-star team, she decided to get serious about the sport and that pursuit eventually led to elite travel ball teams, specialized coaching, and college scholarship opportunities. Along the way, she realized that the field of athletic training was a great fit for her love of sport and medicine, eventually leading her to Texas to pursue a graduate degree and a series of jobs that have provided not just a career but a purpose. Listen in to Episode 35 with Stacie Salazar: CHANGE UP 

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Dr. Julie Partridge is a well-respected Professor and Sport Psychologist at Southern Illinois University Carbondale. Growing up in rural Kansas, her earliest dreams were to become a classically trained professional musician as a violinist. However, over time, those dreams made way for sports where she found success as a softball and a volleyball player. With her playing days done after two years of college, she felt drawn toward a career as a sport psychologist, ultimately earning both a masters and doctoral degree in the field. Today, she serves as a graduate program director and professor of sport and exercise psychology, but in 2019, she unexpectedly found herself in an emergency room with a diagnosis of a pulmonary embolism that could have cost her her life. Since then, she’s combined her skills as a speaker and researcher along with her experiences as a patient to raise awareness through work as an advocate of the National Blood Clot Alliance in Episode 34: PROFESSOR GEN X

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Just.

In some contexts, we want things to be just. If I’m taking a test or standing in front of a judge, I want everything to be just. Just is fair. Just is unbiased. Just is something to strive for.

But when it comes to comparisons, just is a thief. What a disappointment it is to just get to talk for a few minutes. How sad it is if just a few people tune in. How discouraging it is to feel like your work is just making a little impact.

Speaking of impact, the inspiration of this show, Dave Holmes and his show, Waiting for Impact…out of the blue emailed me this week. Dave Holmes is a celebrity. He was a real-live MTV VJ in the late 90s and early 2000s and he is now involved with several great shows over all types of media. He also was the guest of Episode 16: IMPACT.  So out of nowhere, Dave emails me just to encourage me, ask how things were going, and offer up assistance if I needed it.

I reached out to Dave as a bit of a hail Mary via social media way back in October, not thinking he’d ever bother to return my message. After all, I was JUST some random guy in Texas with a dream to build a show. No episodes. No idea what I was doing. Literally JUST a guy and a dream.

Not only was Dave kind enough to respond, he went beyond and sat for an interview. And now he’s continuing to reach out.

That’s the kind of human I aspire to be. These aren’t JUST guests. You aren’t JUST listeners. Like Dave, I want to be the type of person who helps breathe life into people’s dreams. I want to inspire my friends and beyond to try bold things, not let either fear or failure get in the way, and to always remember what it was like to be starting out.

So for the 60 or so of you I was referring to when I told my wife that it was JUST how many ever, I am deeply sorry. I am thankful and appreciative of every single one of you.

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

For McKinney High School Athletic Trainer Dustin Emery, it started as a life of athletic success. A member of the 2007 Texas 5A State Champion Euless Trinity Trojan football team, Dustin was a 4-sport athlete in high school. A torn ACL and a life-threatening blood clot nearly derailed his career, but he was given the opportunity to continue playing at Hardin Simmons University in Abilene Texas. From there, our paths crossed when he decided to hang up his cleats and go to grad school, where he moved to Lubbock to study athletic training at Texas Tech. Today, he serves as a critical member of a McKinney High athletics program that consistently churns out Division 1 athletes like few places in the world.

But for many of his athletes, he’s just Coach Emery. They don’t realize that he’s been there and done that. He’s not just the jacked CrossFit guy patrolling their sidelines with his trademark cap on backwards and sunglasses on. He’s not even the TikTok star they’ve love to watch in their spare time.

He’s a driven, committed, and caring professional who doesn’t just HOPE his patients get better. He’s lived it. And he’s better for it. Join me for Episode 32: REMEMBER THE NAME with Dustin Emery 

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

About the Guest

Jaclyn Emery is a high school athletic trainer working at McKinney Boyd High School, just outside of Dallas, Texas. She has an extensive background as a multi-sport athlete, having excelled in basketball and track during high school and continued to play basketball at the collegiate level at Hardin-Simmons University. Jaclyn is passionate about advocating for student-athletes and helping them transition through the challenges of their sports careers. Alongside her professional responsibilities, Jaclyn is also building a significant presence on social media, sharing insights on athletic training and her experiences as an athletic mom.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks talks to Jaclyn Emery, a high school athletic trainer whose personal journey sheds light on the complexities of ending a sports career and redefining one's identity post-sport. The conversation begins with Jaclyn discussing her early years as an athlete, where she excelled in basketball, dreaming of playing for elite teams like UConn and pursuing a career in the WNBA. As life unfolded, she found herself at Hardin-Simmons University, balancing her athletic career with her educational pursuits in athletic training. Jaclyn shares the intense pressure she faced, the challenges of a coaching change during her college years, and how her competitive spirit powered her through those difficult times.

Throughout the episode, Jaclyn reflects on the key moments that shaped her outlook on life beyond basketball. She candidly shares how the unexpected end of her college sports career due to a coaching change was a pivotal moment that required emotional resilience and introspection. Her experiences have fueled her passion for helping young athletes navigate personal challenges and maintain a balanced identity that goes beyond sports. Toby and Jaclyn also delve into the broader implications of athletic identity, touching upon the significance of mental health and the crucial support networks that bolster athletes during transitions.

Key Takeaways

• The transition out of sports requires a redefinition of personal identity, moving beyond being solely an athlete.
• Supportive relationships, including family and mentors, play a crucial role in navigating challenging transitions.
• Mental health is a key consideration for athletes and should not be overlooked amidst physical training and achievement.
• The role of athletic trainers goes beyond physical care, assisting athletes in managing emotional and mental challenges.
• Personal setbacks and experiences can fuel one's passion to serve and guide others facing similar challenges.

Notable Quotes

• "Basketball was really where my passion was. I liked the pumpkin thump, thump."
• "It was the hardest year of my life, I can tell you that."
• "My dad having a conversation at the dinner table… said, you can be a mom and still be a former athlete."
• "God works in weird ways. That little voice was saying, it's okay, it's good."
• "You never know what's going on between that kid's ears."

Resources:

• Jaclyn Emery's Social Media: 
• Instagram:

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Mike Pinto III is a man of many talents, and a series of careers as diverse as they are cool, he’s been everything from a high producing real estate agent, a highly sought-after motivational speaker, a championship-winning minor league baseball manager, and now a professional musician. Through it all, he’s shown how being more prepared than the competition can pave the way to opportunity, how being your best means connecting with people, and how some seasons, no matter how hard we try, have to come to an end. But in the process of seeing one door close, others inevitably open. Join me as Coach Pinto tells me about his life on the diamond, in the dugout, and now behind the drums in Episode 31: PLAY. 

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Toby Brooks is a speaker, author, professor, and forever student who hosts the podcast Becoming Undone. On the third episode of the podcast each week, Toby reflects on purpose, life, and growth. He recently realized that he had not been able to stick to his goal of three episodes a week since the start of the show, and that he had taken a week off for spring break. Toby admits to being off track for his vision of 150 episodes in the first year, but is determined to get back on track and continue exploring the topics of purpose, life, and growth.

The speaker talked about all the long overdue stuff they got done around the house such as setting up the new studio space, getting the daily driver car squared away, and cleaning the shop. Despite all this, they did not manage to get any shows done and thus, they missed their audience. The speaker then discussed their lack of patience and how they are terrible with names, sports, and are insecure. To further illustrate their lack of patience, they discussed how they won't even wait in lines and if they have to go to the doctor, they resent the fact that they have to wait and the mere existence of a room dedicated to waiting.

This conversation discusses the difference between health care for athletes and for the general public. The athlete is often given priority and seen much faster than the average person, such as having an MRI done that same night or surgery done in the early morning hours. The speaker is frustrated with their lack of success in applying for jobs and speaking engagements in the past three years, despite their qualifications and drive to get better. They have applied for jobs at the Olympic Training Center nine times, with no response. They urge the center to improve its culture.

The speaker is feeling frustrated because they are not getting the results they want and feel like they are stuck in a waiting room. In order to move forward, they decide to take a step back and reflect on the positives of their situation. They use the basketball analogy of bricks and buckets to describe their highs and lows of the week. The speaker's bucket for the week was getting accepted to present at the 2023 Digital Teaching Symposium, and two other colleagues from their department also got accepted to present their work. The speaker is excited for the new paths of leadership and scholarship that are opening up for them.

TIMESTAMPS 

0:00:00   Reflecting on Purpose, Life, and Growth: Becoming Undone with Toby Brooks - Episode 3

0:01:41   Reflection on Long Overdue Tasks and Patience

0:02:55   Reflection on Impatience and Professional Pursuits in Athletics

0:06:06   Bricks and Buckets: Reflecting on the Highs and Lows of the Week

0:08:27   Word to the Third: Health Care Teaching and Education

HIGHLIGHTS 

It's amazing to me just how antiquated health care teaching and education can be across our country. I'm thankful and grateful to work with great people who take their roles as educators seriously and are constantly honing their craft.

I've thoroughly enjoyed my career as an AT educator these past two decades, but it is exciting for me to see new paths of leadership and scholarship start to show up in my world.

Each week on Becoming Undone I reflect back on the highs and lows of my week in Bricks and Buckets. Bricks are attempts that miss the mark, while buckets sail through the net clean and true.

As I was thinking about this, it occurred to me, I'm a health care professional too, but working in athletics has just fed the flames of my impatience. We once had a football student athlete who needed to see a neurologist so that he could get a form signed from the NCAA that would let him play with a tinted eye shield in his helmet.

Back in

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Competing at the highest levels requires a rare combination of ambition, ability, drive, and opportunity. For highly decorated pitcher Katie Burkhart Gooch, she can recall authoring and signing mission and vision statements for herself before she’d even become a teenager. Ambition: check. 

Early successes on the softball field led to a steady stream of newer and greater opportunities as an athlete. Grand visions of Olympic victory might have seemed far-fetched at such a young age, but Katie believed that she had both the resolve and the talent to make them a reality. Ability and drive: check and check.

Eventually, she found herself at Arizona State where, as a senior, she helped lead the Sun Devils to a 66-5 record and a National Championship in 2008. Awarded College World Series MVP honors, Katie was soon drafted first overall in the National Pro Fastpitch league where she remained dominant, posting 13 wins and a sparkling 1.87 ERA in route to NFP Player of the Year honors as a rookie. Opportunity: check.

After wrapping up a successful professional career in the US and abroad, she moved on, dabbling in coaching and other pursuits. It was a fairytale story of athletic success.

Except it wasn’t, exactly.

There had been signs along the way. Behind a steel exterior and a crafted persona as a dominant and hungry competitor, Katie wrestled with doubts and with feelings of being an imposter. Tragically, as a freshman in college, she found herself picking up the pieces following a date rape, wondering if she would even continue to play. Struggles with alcohol had crept in over the years, and by 2017, she found herself at what she would describe as her rock bottom.

From the pain and anguish, a new Katie emerged. Surrounded by those she loves and with new creative pursuits that allow her to express a different side than the dominant former pro athlete, she’s found herself in the unlikely but satisfying space between thrash and Zen; Limp Bizkit and meditation; diamonds drawn in chalk and those set in gold.

And she’s not done yet.

Join me for the inspiring story of Katie Burkhart Gooch in Episode 29: DIAMONDS  

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Whether in business, sports, the arts, or almost anywhere in between, the ability to assemble and grow a high- functioning team can be the difference between success and failure. And in some elite teams like the US military’s Special Ops, such can literally be the difference between life and death. Growing up in a pre-internet age with Cold War rhetoric and a steady stream of staples of my youth like GI Joe, the lure and appeal of groups like the Army Rangers and the Navy SEALs made them stuff of legend. They were real-life superheroes surrounded by mystique and trained unlike any others. At the same time, if you were like me and my friends, you didn’t know much about them like how to get in, how they trained, or what they did once they were admitted into their elite ranks.

And you couldn’t just Google it at the time, either.

Early in life, Rich Diviney wanted to fly. The appeal of being a pilot and serving his country was tremendous, and he found himself growing up in Connecticut with a dream to take to the skies. At the same time, Rich was also influenced by James Bond films and the U.S. Special Operations Forces, so the idea to pursue a career as a Navy SEAL took root, eventually leading him to Purdue University where he joined the Navy ROTC program.  Upon graduation, Rich was able to complete BUD/S training and serve for over 20 years as a Navy SEAL Officer. During his career he held several leadership positions, to include the officer in charge of training for a specialized SEAL Command - where he focused on defining and refining the ways in which the cadre could successfully identify the candidates who would be best suited to serve in the Navy’s most elite and storied unit. As a result, the Attributes emerged, ultimately leading Rich to write and publish his highly informative and pragmatic book that can help leaders identify the aspects of specific team members that can help improve the way units train and operate.

Listen in as Rich explains his journey from young aspiring pilot to Navy SEAL, from Navy SEAL to military team and leadership expert, and eventually to author, speaker, and influencer in Episode 28:  PRECISION AGGRESSION 

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

This past week, we had family in town and Taye started his baseball season for junior year, so I chose to take a break from the show for a minute and enjoy this season. Guilt-free. 

And as I reflected back on my last two guests Bridgette Borzillo of CaZo Dance and Bill Benjamin of the Last 8% Academy, I realized that that was the right decision. In both interviews, the thing that resonated with me the most was the idea of being present and being brave in the face of big transitions in life.

For Bridgette, it was stepping into entrepreneurship and founding her own dance company after a career as a college athlete and then as a dancer in other companies. For Bill, it was a similar decision to move from the safety of a good-paying job in the computer software industry to the possibilities of making a bigger impact in the world with the transformational teaching of lifelong friend JP Paliew-Frye. In both cases, the “safe” solution would have been to push forward in a career path that was predictable. But for both, the call and the potential of a deeper purpose became too much to ignore.

So they pivoted. And they went all in in a new direction. Fully present.

Taye’s head football coach and Athletic Director Chris Softley has several great coachisms, but a personal favorite of mine has become his encouragement to his players to “be where your feet are.” It took me a second the first time I heard it to really “get” what he meant by it, but it is more important today than it has ever been in my lifetime. See, in today’s world, it is easier than ever to be distracted by our technology or our thoughts. 

I’ve spent more time than I care to admit being physically present at important events but mentally somewhere else. Whether a wandering mind or a device that—ironically—connects me to the outside world while making me absent from the one I’m actually in, if my mind isn’t focused on the moment where my feet are, I miss out.

Sometimes being where our feet are requires real discipline. As Bill talked about in his episode, our emotional regulation through the limbic system serves as a reward system that can be hard to shake. Dopamine release is a motivator no different than many other forms of addiction. If you don’t believe me, see what it would feel like to consider how it would feel if you accidentally left your phone at home for a day. 

Being where our feet are allows us to respect the past, but to savor the present. Understanding that distractions can pull our focus and realizing that goals and dreams—as helpful and motivating as they may be—can rob us of the joy of the moment, we need to pay attention both when and where we are. 

For so many of my guests, the real tendency for the high achiever is to plow forward after both successes and failures alike and be on to the next challenge is on one hand admirable. And on the other hand a missed opportunity. We never know when or even IF we will get a chance to come this way again.

So my takeaway this week is to pay attention. Respect the past. Aim for the future. But relish the present and be all-in for the season in which we find ourselves. 

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Bill Benjamin grew up in Canada and initially found his success in the software industry after earning degrees in mathematics and computer science. On the surface, such would seem an odd combo of experience and training for someone who now serves as a highly sought-after speaker and coach who is a recognized expert in leadership training and developing emotional intelligence. However, when you consider the fact that his work today is all based on evidence about how humans communicate and lead most effectively, it all makes sense. Pull out your notebooks for this one, friends, because Bill has quote after quote that can inspire and direct as he talks about his story, the Last 8% academy, and how learning to control your emotions and thoughts can be the critical key to all your successes in Episode 26: THE LAST 8%

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

If you’ve ever spent any time at all in the incredibly competitive world of travel sports, you know that it’s not difficult to become so singular in purpose that every spare moment, every spare dollar, and every spare opportunity (and then some!) can be consumed with a pursuit of being seen, hopefully capturing the attention of a recruiter or college coach. And sometimes, parents, coaches, and even the athletes themselves can feel the pressure to become great in this one aspect of life at the expense of all others. That can leave anyone—especially those with an artistic spirit—feeling unfulfilled and unnecessarily painted into a performance corner.

For Bridgette (Caron) Borzillo, her love of sport actually came second in life behind a passion for dance.  Choreographing for the first time at the age of six, she finally took her first formal dance class freshman year at Fallbrook High School in San Diego, California. Meanwhile, the talented athlete/artist also competed as a three-sport athlete in soccer, softball, and field hockey while also serving as a cheerleader, a member of the Dance Team, and a host of other activities. 

Ultimately, sport won out—at least for a while. The talented outfielder made her way to San Diego State and later Arizona State as a D1 softball player. But her love for dance continued to grow. Following graduation, she went all-in in dance, performing as a member of a number of different production companies. Ultimately, she took the plunge to form a company of her own, founding CaZo Dance in 2014. 

Working tirelessly to create and share her art and her lifelong love of dance, she—like so many—felt the effects of the global pandemic with full force when the world seemed to close for business, especially the performing arts. 

Hear Bridgette share her store of art and sport peacefully coexisting in her world, facing down the fear of entrepreneurship, and overcoming the Lost Season of the Pandemic in Episode 25: DANCE.

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

This past week, I was on the road, travelling to North Carolina for work and trying furiously to claw my way back to some semblance of not-behind at work. Losing battle, I know. My most recent two guests both had inspiring stories, with Krickitt Carpenter overcoming a near fatal accident, a marriage she didn’t remember, and story that’s been chronicled in books, movies, and television the world over. Meanwhile, Rob Simms overcame the loss of his dad to cancer at an early age to go on to play four years of baseball at Division II Truman State University. After graduating and searching for his identity elsewhere in sports media and communication, he found a new career as a development and fundraising expert. 

Both undoubtedly have lived through their share of ups and downs. What I recognized is that they both have been able to remain positive despite incredible setbacks by relying on their faith and the connection it provides to other like-minded folks. But it didn’t just “happen” this way for them. 

For both, success and happiness have been a consistent and sometimes difficult active choice.

Hear me discuss the LINE OF CHOICE in this Word to the Third Wins-Day and the BRICKS and BUCKETS (entropy and baseball, respectively)!

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Growing up in a family of rabid fans for their hometown St. Louis Cardinals, Rob Simms recognized his love for baseball early in life. However, after Rob’s father passed away suddenly due to cancer when Rob was just 6 years old, baseball soon become more than just something to watch. It became something to live and something to be. Rob discovered peace and solace in the hours spent practicing and playing. Eventually, his efforts led to success in high school that opened the door to an athletic scholarship to Truman State University in Kirksville, Missouri.

After four years of hard work both on the diamond and in the classroom, Rob endured the painful crossroads of the nearly simultaneous end of an athletic and academic career that had for so long been his identity. A career in sports media followed, eventually leading to a position as a sports information director at Creighton University in Omaha, Nebraska. Over time, he began to realize that his goals as a husband and dad were increasingly at odds with the demands of his job, and he left to pursue a career in non-profit fundraising, ultimately finding success in helping clients raise more than $100 million in capital while still getting to serve as a broadcaster as the voice of the Creighton Bluejays Women’s Basketball team for the past 21 years.

Hear Rob tell his story of overcoming the painful loss of his dad early in life to eventually find his passion on the baseball diamond, jobs in professional sports and a Division I athletics department, and eventually a highly successful career as a non-profit fundraiser in Episode 23: GETTIN’ HECTIC   

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

"From Elite Gymnast to Near-Death Accident: Krickitt Carpenter's Amazing Story of Resilience"

SUMMARY 

Krickitt Carpenter was an Arizona native and college gymnast whose dreams of a scholarship came true when she competed and earned her way to the Cal State Fullerton team. A knee injury cut her career short, but she managed to graduate with a degree in exercise physiology. An unexpected encounter led to a relationship and eventually a wedding, but a car accident that nearly took her life left her with a brain injury that erased all memories of her courtship, wedding, and husband. After a long recovery, Krickitt and her husband tried dating again and eventually remarried. Their story of unwavering commitment and refusal to turn their backs on their vows became a best-selling book and a hit movie. However, their marriage eventually ended.

Krickitt was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona and grew up in the gym her mother owned, Mary Pappas. She was naturally talented in gymnastics, competing at a high level, and her goal was to get a gymnastics scholarship for college. Krickitt overcame adversity and fought to overcome the emotional pain she was going through. She is now a successful motivational speaker and advocate for those who have gone through similar ordeals.

This conversation is about the guest's journey from being a collegiate gymnast to transitioning out of sport and into the corporate world. The guest had gone to Cal State Fullerton on a gymnastics scholarship and had a great career, but blew her knee out her senior year. She transitioned into being involved in a great church in Southern California and shifted her focus from being in the gym all the time to being able to serve others. After graduating, she was connected with a sportswear company called Jammin Sportswear and was successful in sales. While working there, she met her husband, whom she married a year later in September 1993. They moved to a small town in New Mexico, where she worked as an exercise physiologist. On the day before Thanksgiving, they were driving to Phoenix to visit her parents when her husband got sick.

The speaker was in a serious car accident just outside of Gallup, NM where he was t-boned by a one-ton Chevy truck. He was taken to a hospital and flatlined twice on the way, but miraculously recovered due to people praying around the world. When doctors asked her questions to assess her memories, she remembered her mom, dad, and unexpectedly, her husband, Todd, who was an old boyfriend. The speaker made a miraculous recovery and was able to tell her story.

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

About the Host

Toby Brooks is a dedicated podcaster and storyteller, passionate about exploring the human story behind success and adversity. Known for his insightful and compelling docuseries, Toby seeks to uncover life lessons from influential figures across various domains, including sports, leadership, and personal growth. His podcast, "Becoming Undone," delves deep into transformative journeys and provides listeners with valuable insights into overcoming challenges.

Episode Summary

In this heartfelt finale of the docuseries on Coach Dick Tomey, Toby Brooks ties together the narratives of leadership, resilience, and the indelible impact of coaching beyond the confines of the football field. As Toby navigates through listener interactions and personal reflections, he highlights the profound influence of Coach Tomey on countless athletes, coaches, and individuals enriched by his legacy.

This episode dissects the core values instilled by Coach Dick Tomey, such as leadership, loyalty, and culture-building, which transcended his remarkable career achievements. Toby Brooks delves into lessons learned throughout the series, emphasizing the legacy left by Dick Tomey that continues to inspire both in sports and life. Through compelling anecdotes and interviews with former players and colleagues, the narrative crafts a blueprint of purpose-driven leadership, illustrating how Tomey's vision cultivated a lasting legacy of character and connection.

Key Takeaways

• Leadership Beyond Titles: Dick Tomey exemplified that true leadership is about trust and making individuals feel valued, rather than relying solely on positional authority.
• Building Belief Through Belonging: Tomey’s coaching philosophy centered on creating a sense of belonging before instilling belief, fostering environments where athletes could thrive personally and professionally.
• Legacy of Loyalty: Tomey’s unwavering loyalty to his team and community highlighted the importance of commitment over personal advancement.
• Cultural Architect: Through his approach to team culture, Tomey established an ethos of relentless effort and unity that laid the foundation for success.

Notable Quotes

• “People perform best when they feel like they're part of something that values them as individuals first.”
• “Belief can be the seed, not the fruit; let it tip the balance for someone to start believing too.”
• “His loyalty inspired theirs…it’s about commitment to a place and a people, even a contentment, but never a complacency.”
• “Culture shapes behavior when no one is watching, setting the standard for how people treat one another.”
• “True impact isn't about how many people know your name; it's about how many lives you can make better.”

Resources:

• Becoming Undone Podcast: Listen to more episodes here.
• Contact Toby Brooks: Email - toby@undonepodcast.com
• Bubs Naturals: bubsnaturals.com/undone

Dive into the complete episode to experience the full journey encapsulated in Coach Tomey's legacy, and stay tuned for

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Toby Brooks is a speaker, author, professor and student who interviews guests who have achieved success by taking risks and growing. Every third episode is dedicated to his own reflections, and this week, he is running behind in his plan to deliver a Word of the Third on Wednesdays. He has been using the Done app on his phone to help him keep track of his habits and this past summer, he completed the challenge of doing 75 hard.

The speaker completed the 75 Hard challenge, an intense program that lasts 75 days and has strict requirements. They now use the Done app to keep up the good habits they developed during 75 Hard, but without the guilt or punishment of having to start over if they are not perfect. They also gained a love of reading after reading David Goggins' first book and were motivated to sign up for a 10K race. However, they pushed themselves too far and ended up injured. The speaker has now found the balance between being tough and being wise.

In this conversation, the speaker is discussing the new book by David Goggins, and how it has resonated with him. He then talks about his own life story, which is vastly different from Goggins. His parents got married when they were 18, and his father worked hard in a coal mine to provide a safe and stable life for his family. While his father was working, the speaker felt resentment towards the coal mine, and wished he could have had his father around more. His father was simply doing his best to provide him with the life he never had as a child. He then talks about how his father inspired him to find something he enjoyed and go all in, and how he eventually ended up working nights, weekends, holidays and birthdays, until he came home exhausted one day and saw his daughter walk for the first time. This realization made him understand the importance of being present for his family.

The speaker reflects on how his father missed out on his first day of school due to having to work, and how this has caused the speaker to be overly cautious in providing his own children with everything they need. He reflects on how he gave up on his dream of becoming an NFL athletic trainer and chose to move his family to Florida for a season of Arena Football, which was a great decision. He reflects on the words of Goggins about how effort should be the priority instead of enjoyment and how his parents taught him the value of effort more than anyone else. The speaker concludes by talking about the modern snow day, where due to the pandemic, there is no such thing as a true day off anymore.

Timestamps

0:00:19

Word of the Third: Reflections on Purpose, Life, and Growth with Toby Brooks

0:01:42

Reflection on Completing the 75 Hard Challenge and the Impact of Reading David Goggins' Books

0:03:36

Reflection on David Goggins' "Discipline of Discipline" and Its Impact on My Life

0:07:43

"The Value of Effort: Reflections on Growing Up and Working Hard"

0:09:10

"Opportunity: A Reflection on Growth and Resilience"

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Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Some corners of the internet can be scary places. Social media in particular can be rough, with self-proclaimed experts on every virtual corner at the ready to tear us down, be critical, and just generally tell us why we don’t stack up.

However, bright spots exist, and hope remains. Take for instance Canadian Jonica Bullock. An interior designer by training and experience, she is in the midst of a major life transition to coaching and personal training, as years of hard work and experienced earned through relentless dedication not only changed her life, it changed the lives of those around her.

While Jonica never intentionally set out to inspire her corner of the world, that’s what happened as she steadily became the face of the FitBod workout app’s Facebook group—not to mention the curator of the page’s “Flex Friday” and an instrument of hope and light who provides genuine, heartfelt encouragement to others who are also on the path of their fitness journey. The work eventually led to her being asked to regularly contribute to a new podcast that helps tell the stories of one of the most encouraging social media communities ever.

It hasn’t been an easy climb for her, though. Overcoming the shame, stigma, and unhealthy habits of an eating disorder that first showed itself during her teens, her condition got better for a season, then reemerged like an angry monster in her early 30s. Jonica will forever be grateful  for the persistence of a concerned physician and the family and friends who supported her. Through lengthy, deliberate, and difficult work to heal and a steady resolve to learn and live through healthy habits, she discovered her voice and found her power…with that power being at an all-time high thanks to a disciplined approach to healthy fueling and serious work in the gym. And with her healing, she also discovered that she has a true gift for helping others navigate similar paths.   

Hear Jonica tell her story of overcoming disordered eating, her road to recovery, and her current efforts to help others find success in Episode 20: INSPIRE.     

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Growing up in Germany, Sabine Ehgoetz learned early on what it meant never to be enough. Raised by a physically and emotionally abusive mother who made her believe she wasn’t smart enough, pretty enough and simply not loveable the way she was, she soon internalized these messages. Despite evidence to the contrary – a master’s degree in political science in her late 20s, modelling jobs, and a successful career as an editor, her self-doubt manifested in eating disorders and often blind, harmful ambition.

Despite her constant drive and commitment to overcome the generational curse passed down through her mother and heal in order to earn the right to become a mother herself, despite years of therapy and personal development, she found herself in a toxic and abusive marriage – repeating the unhealthy patterns and dynamics she had associated with what love should feel like.
 
As hard and frightening as breaking free from this marriage was, by now alone in Canada and single mother of barely 3-year-old twins, it was equally liberating and empowering. Having lost everything, Sabine set out to continue her journey of overcoming and becoming the strongest and best version of herself, driven by the purpose of loving herself the way she always longed to loved, being the mother she always wanted and empowering other women to be at their best so they could do their best.

Competitive bodybuilding spoke to her ambitious nature, forever driven to get better, be better, be “enough”, but by the time she entered the sport, she has already done most of her healing work and was able to do so from a place of self-love, with a healthy body image and a healthy relationship with food. Bodybuilding for her has always been about much more about mental growth than physical growth – it has become her tool to consequently step outside her comfort zone, face any limiting beliefs she has left and to inspire other women to go after their dreams, no matter their obstacles and circumstances.

Today, with a successful career in marketing and in pursuit of earning her pro card as a bikini competitor in the IFBB, she passionately shares the strength and healing she found on her own journey through her own business as a mindset advocate and fitness and empowerment coaches, helping others navigate their own paths towards radical self-acceptance and boundless self-love.

Hear Sabine tell her story of early wounds and eventual healing, persistent doubts and hard-earned confidence in Episode 19: FLEX.    

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

This week, we were fortunate enough to have not one but TWO guests who have made their mark in the performing arts. For Dave Holmes, a four-year stint as an MTV VJ has turned into a successful career as an actor, comedian, author, and most recently podcaster. If you haven’t listened to his 10-part Waiting For Impact show on Exactly Right Media, you are missing out. It is informative, entertaining, and actually was a critical part of my motivation to do THIS show.

My second guest, Jonathan Fruge is a world class performer who has taken stages and captivated audiences around the world in productions including choir, musical theatre, and vocal performance. He overcame tremendous adversity—most recently from the pandemic that shut down his show for months and resulted in him being furloughed and forced to make ends meet picking up a job at a supermarket. 

What stood out to me in talking with both of these wonderful guests was that they were careful to not ascribe blame to anyone or anything as they described their less-than-ideal situations. For Dave, he was even so bold as to specifically point out that his obstacles were almost exclusively of his creation. And for Jonathan, while 2020 certainly proved to be the most difficult year of his life, he recognized that it served an important purpose of putting him back on the right track in his relationship with God and redirecting him toward building his faith again.

To me, this unabashed and unapologetic ownership of the bad without completely piling on and destroying themselves with negative self-talk was inspiring. Far too often for me, I have either side-stepped my role and looked for the person of the circumstance I could blame for my poor outcome OR I took the martyr’s role of taking responsibility while also verbally abusing myself in the process.

There is a fine line between expecting our decisions and behaviors to be sound and demanding perfection. If we can’t seem to muster any grace for ourselves, we become victims of our own abuse. The gashes on our backs and the scars in our minds remain long after, and it was us cracking the whip the whole time.

I’m learning that try as I might, I simply cannot be perfect. At best, I can usually approach “pretty good.” Admitting that and giving myself some credit for the effort is an important step, because if I expect perfection, then I will absolutely be disappointed in myself. And when I am disappointed in myself, it isn’t hard to just throw my hands up in disgust and quit.

I expect best effort. I expect commitment. Those are attainable and those are possible. But perfection? Not going to happen.

Likewise, for both Dave and Jonathan, their “undones” went beyond self. Dave went from an unhealthy butt of jokes late in his career at MTV in the early 200s to a competitive triathlete, marathoner, and crossfitter today. Jonathan’s goals for the future involve sending his two beautiful daughters to college and also seeing them come to Ch

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Finding our way in life can oftentimes be a difficult thing to do. Somewhere mixed between our passion, our opportunities, our skillset, and our purpose is what author and speaker Ryan Leak characterizes as our “Sweet Spot.” Oh sure, maybe you inherited a massive business from your family and you’re good at running it so it hits on the opportunity and skillset part of the equation. But if it isn’t something you’re passionate about and it doesn’t align with your purpose, it will always feel somewhat unfulfilling.

The challenge for most of us is that—when considering our futures and our jobs, at least—it can be so difficult to adequately know whether or not something will provide that magical alignment where what we love, what we have a chance to do, what we are good at, and the purpose we feel in our soul is ours to fulfill can all align.

Making things even harder still, some careers are particularly difficult to find your way into, with sports and the performing arts chief among them.

For Lubbock, Texas native Jonathan Fruge, singing and performing wasn’t necessarily the dream early on, but it was always there. Through time and practice, it became clear that he had the passion and the skill to make it his work, but jobs in the performing arts aren’t exactly plentiful in the dusty plains of West Texas. With time and trials and an ever-present love for the power of music, he made a career of it and found success, resulting in opportunities to perform on stages around the globe.

Then Covid 19 hit.

Perhaps no industry was as decimated by the global lockdowns as the live entertainment business, and Jonathan found himself at a crossroads. With a beautiful young family to support and flickering professional dreams an uncertainty, he did what he needed to do for a season and put those dreams on hold. And while the future still remains unwritten for the talented and hilarious Tenor from Texas, one thing is certain: he was born to inspire.

Hear Jonathan tell his story of overcoming fear and adversity while entertaining audiences around the world in Episode 17: SING. 

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Becoming UnDone was born from the collision of four ideas in my mind, not the least of which was the Dave Holmes podcast Waiting for Impact..

And fittingly, the guest I absolutely KNEW I had to get on the show, the guy whose work had inspired the idea to begin with, was the absolutely perfect example of resilience on his own path to victory. 

I did my research and learned all I could about Dave Holmes.

I discovered that after MTV, he’d gone on to become an actor and an author. he’d written and published a book, Party of One, in 2016. I immediately ordered it. When it arrived, I plowed through it in a couple of days, struck by just how in many ways he and I are so dissimilar in many ways. Yet so alike in so many others. 

I listened to Waiting for Impact in its entirety another four times. With each listen, I was less focused on being entertained and more focused on reverse engineering a show that could be so true to the research and journalistic integrity of telling the story in True Crime fashion, yet also be so wildly fun and entertaining. 

If podcasting was the house I intended to build, then Waiting for Impact was the blueprint I intended to follow.

In the show, Dave acknowledges his own journey, failing out of college at Holy Cross as he battled depression and addiction. He’d been publicly outed as one of the only gay students at the conservative Catholic school. In his own words, he managed to pull out of the emotional nose dive of his “shame spiral,” clawed his way back in, and ultimately graduated with a degree in advertising. 

Taking a series soulless jobs in New York followed. On a whim that would forever change his life, he worked up the courage to take a shot at MTV’s reality contest Wanna Be a VJ. He finished runner-up out of a veritable sea of contestants, just missing the offer of a dream job. But he’d impressed network execs along the way enough to land his dream gig as a VJ anyway. 

A smoker and drinker who had been criticized in his MTV days for being overweight eventually become an avid Crossfitter and competitive triathlete. Through later experiences as an actor, author, and Editor at Large of Esquire, Dave has been open, honest, and vulnerable in sharing both his struggles and his triumphs on his path to a life of both success and significance.

It seemed as though for every yin of disappointment, Dave had discovered and embraced a yang of accomplishment. 

If ANYONE knew what it meant to go from falling apart to falling into place, it was Dave. 

He had done so countless times. And in countless ways.

Enjoy Dave share his story of getting kicked out of college before clawing his way back in, rolling out of bed at 4 am to change his life forever, and his current plans to continue to grow as a burgeoning podcaster and new media mogul on Episode 16: IMPACT with Dave Holmes.

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

It is Word to the 3rd Wins-Day: my mid-week reflections on purpose, life, and growth. I’m Toby Brooks, and I am a speaker, author, professor, and forever student. Each week on Becoming UnDone, I bring you guests who have dared bravely, risked mightily, and grown relentlessly—high achievers who have transformed from falling apart to falling into place. But every third episode, it’s my turn to reflect, refine, and reprocess—on Word to the 3rd Wins-Day.

As you may be able to tell, my voice is not cooperating and I’m a bit under the weather. If the past few years have taught us anything, maybe distance yourself a bit from your airpods or speakers just in case I’m contagious.

I don’t think what I HAVE is spreading, but it seems like word of the show IS, which makes me giddy. It has been yet another great week for me, and although this marks only the fifth Word to the 3rd, I thought it was time for a bit of fine-tuning and tweaking of the brand. I like the idea of a recurring mid-week show where we get to go back and examine what our most recent guests have taught us. At the same time, it’s also a chance for me to tell some stories from MY past or from stuff I’m learning that I think might be helpful for your growth journey. That said, Wed-nes-day seemed like as good a day as any, but I figured let’s spell it like we say it—and also celebrate the victories together on a Wins-day.

This week, I had a great time interviewing both new connection author Steve Safranek and my long-time friend Branda Anderson. Both played Division I sports and both shared a new twist on what had started to emerge as a trend of lost identity following the end of competitive athletics. Namely, the identity shift that occurs when sports are eventually over.

For Steve, as a walk-on on the Nebraska football team, he quickly realized that he was out over his skis a bit when he arrived on campus as a linebacker who was getting out run, out lifted, and generally overmatched by defensive backs and wideouts. It was a rude awakening, but he took it in stride and enjoyed the moment. For Steve, he said the realization that he was never going have any shot of playing at the next level, which really took hold in his mind two or three years into the program, was actually liberating. It allowed him to let go of sport gradually and without the pain we’ve heard from other guests whose careers ended more abruptly.

Likewise, Branda Anderson had a painful and honest conversation with her coach following her junior year where she was informed she wasn’t going to see much of the floor as a senior. While it hurt to hear in the moment, it gave Branda a chance to really drink in the team experience and understand that her role was to help prepare her teammates for battle rather than to equip herself week in and week out. As a result, she spent less time bitter and angry that basket

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Any high-functioning team typically has a number of people playing their role to the best of their ability. Whether a Broadway cast, a team of entrepreneurs for a new startup, or a sports team, most groups of people have a few stars, some up-and-comers, and a number of role players. When everyone understands their unique contribution to the shared success, then the unit can fire on all cylinders.

Eagle River, Alaska native Branda Anderson never had aspirations of playing in the WNBA or even dominating the paint in college when she first started playing basketball in middle school. However, her growing skills and tireless work ethic eventually led to a storied high school career, capturing four total team state championships (one in basketball and three more in track), a state championship in shot put, and All-State and State Tournament Team honors in basketball. Such opened opportunities to continue pursuing her athletic aspirations in college, and she found herself on full scholarship at Division 1 Southern Illinois University in Carbondale shortly after.

But things would not be so easy. A full 5-day journey from home and finding herself buried deep on the bench, she had a decision to make: quit altogether, go somewhere else, or be the best she could be at the role she’d been given. While it proved challenging, she stayed the course and finished her career as a respected and valued member of the team.

In the years that followed, she’s balanced ministry service, teaching, coaching, and graduate school. And after nearly 20 years in the high school classroom, she recently made the decision to switch to a new role Teaching and Learning Specialist at the Holocaust Center for Humanity in Seattle, Washington while she works toward a PhD in Holocaust and Genocide Studies.

Hear her tell her story of resilience, hard work, and being a servant leader before it was trendy and cool in episode 15: SWITCH 

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Life can take us on some unexpected journeys, and there’s little doubt that Omaha, Nebraska’s Steve Safranek has seen his share of twists and turns on his path forward. From his days dreaming of gridiron glory, to years spent working in retail management, to a quick detour in the snack food industry while—of all things—getting his fitness and wellness business off the ground, it has been a rewarding and meaningful climb. But along the way, he realized that he'd learned so much from coaches, teammates, colleagues, and coworkers that he finally decided it was time to also add “author” to his bio. Releasing his book, the Sh!t No One Wants to Hear: How to Accept and Embrace the Uncomfortable Truth in Our Lives  in 2022, he also made a dramatic shift from his career path of nearly 20 years in retail and sales to fitness, wellness, and development as a yoga instructor and owner of a fitness studio. Hear Steve share how he ended up a Cornhusker, how he simultaneously became a health-conscious vegan while working for Frito Lay, and how the former linebacker traded his shoulder pads for a yoga mat in 

Episode 13: NAMASTE with Steve Safranek! 

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

This week, I had the opportunity to interview a couple of highly decorated former athletes, with former pro basketball player Josh Washington in episode 10: REBORN, and former pro football player and Winter Olympian Johnny Quinn in episode 11: PUSH. Both shared their stories of overcoming incredible challenges, adversities, and doubt to ultimately navigate through to victory. What jumped out to me was their common themes of identity and faith.

For Josh, early success on the basketball court helped him avoid bullying and unwanted attention that a stutter likely would have brought. He went all in on his hoop dreams, ultimately receiving countless awards and honors as an athlete before being offered more than two dozen scholarships to prestigious college programs across the country.

For Johnny, it was a similar journey in terms of success in competition, but dramatically different in terms of opportunity. With just one Division 1 offer coming through at the last minute before signing day, he headed to college with something to prove.

For both, sport naturally grew as an extension of who they were as people. Josh Washington the basketball player and Johnny Quinn the football player were badges they both wore with pride.

But as they say, pride cometh before the fall.

But what I absolutely love about both Josh Washington and Johnny Quinn is that they made it through. A personal, professional, and spiritual wasteland awaits all of us when that thing we used to define ourselves is taken…or even given…at the end of a season in our life. It is human nature to try and bandage those wounds as best we can, pick up the pieces, and press on. 

What about you? Do you find yourself in that wilderness now, reaching for purpose? Or maybe you’ve already managed to walk through it, living to tell someone else about how you survived. I’d love to hear about it. 

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

About the Guest

John Ulsh is an inspiring public speaker, author, and survivor who has transformed personal tragedy into a powerful mission of resilience and motivation. At 37, John's life dramatically changed following a nearly fatal car accident involving his entire family. Despite undergoing over 45 surgeries and extensive rehabilitation, John emerged with a renewed sense of purpose. Now, he dedicates his life to inspiring others as a motivational speaker and author of his book,  The Upside of Down, while balancing his career in real estate and his family life in Pennsylvania.

Episode Summary

In this compelling episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks engages with John Ulsh, whose life was irrevocably changed by a devastating car accident. With unyielding courage and resilience, John recounts the physical and emotional barriers he overcame after the collision that nearly claimed his and his family's lives. John's journey to recovery, marked by over 45 surgeries, serves as a testament to human perseverance. He shares how he turned immense pain into purpose, aiding his transformation from adversity towards helping others facing their own "purpose storms."

Throughout the episode, John explores the deeply personal psychological journey he undertook en route to recovery, including suffering from survivor's guilt and battling narcotic dependency. He introduces key concepts such as finding meaning through serving others, embracing the process over the finish line, and being intentional in the face of life's upheavals. Both Toby and John reflect on the delicate balance between humility and the imperative to share one's story to uplift and inspire others with its authenticity. This conversation not only inspires, but also equips listeners with tangible strategies for overcoming their own life obstacles.

Key Takeaways

• The importance of community and support systems in navigating severe trauma and recovery.
• The role of intentional decision-making in shifting from survival to recovery and thriving.
• Finding new purpose and contributing to others' healing as a means to heal oneself.
• Overcoming psychological barriers like survivor's guilt and the complexity of mental health issues post-trauma.
• The power of physical fitness and setting intentions in reclaiming control over one's life and body.

Notable Quotes

1. "I survived, only to have to undergo years of intensive rehab and over 45 surgeries and counting."
2. "Somewhere in that nursing home, I kind of realized I wasn't going to die. Now somewhere in the nursing home, I started wishing I would have died."
3. "I miss my old daddy, the one who would come out and train with me."
4. "In the end, it's this constant, like I was battling it today…to how much to let things pull you and how much to push it."

Resources:

• John Ulsh's Website
• John Ulsh on Instagram

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Author Adam Barone once wrote that the American Dream is the belief that anyone, regardless of where or what class they were born into can attain their own version of success in a society in which upward mobility is possible for everyone.

While that definition seems clear and fitting enough, for McKinney, Texas native Johnny Quinn, it wasn’t quite so simple. Dreams of professional football took root early, and Johnny worked hard to be the best high school athlete he could be, eventually leading the football-loving state of Texas in receptions and finishing second in TD catches by his senior season. By most accounts, such performance SHOULD have opened the floodgates of scholarship offers from colleges across the country.

Unfortunately, they didn't.

Lightly recruited by a few programs at lower levels, Johnny finally received his first and only Division I offer from nearby University of North Texas just one day before the end of signing period.

He took it.

Disappointed but undeterred that his on-field production hadn’t translated to the opportunities he anticipated, he did what he always does in the face of adversity: he worked. Johnny committed to transforming his body in the weight room and went all-in on developing fully in the hopes of making his childhood dreams of professional football come true from UNT. Eventually, those efforts helped his team to three bowl appearances, a degree in pre-law, and legendary status as his alma mater’s all-time receptions leader.

Surely the NFL, the prestige, and the money that come with it were within reach.

Except they weren’t.

Johnny went undrafted in the 2007 NFL Draft. In eerily familiar fashion, he found himself being productive on an elite level but without the recognition that you might expect. Disappointed but still determined, he did what he does: he worked.

A professional career as an NFL free agent and later a signee in the Canadian football league followed. And when the door to football finally closed, Johnny literally and figuratively broke it down as a member of the U.S. National Bobsled Team, competing as a member of one of the two the 4-man teams who competed in the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia.  

Now a successful author and highly sought-after professional speaker, Johnny has leveraged all the good that has come from his years as a high performing athlete and translated those lessons into stories that both encourage and inspire. Hear Johnny tell his story of grit, determination, and relentless pursuit—and why he always checks his pocket for his keys—in Episode 11: PUSH.

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Imagine for a moment that you are a young high school athlete. As your performance on the field and on the court continues to improve, the accolades roll in. Recruiting offers from across the country pour into your mailbox daily. You are told that you are among best basketball players to ever come from your modest city, and when you sign with your chosen University, you’re also told that you’re the best recruit in school history.

Where do you go from there? If you’re Lubbock’s Josh Washington, high hopes of leading his hometown Red Raiders to new heights were soon dashed with the cold realities of life at the next level. Through trials and circumstances that an introspective Josh fully admits he played a role in, his time at Texas Tech grew increasingly dark, with playing time scarce, anxiety and depression high, and spiritual battles raging as he tried to hold things together.

In a pre-transfer portal world that required any athlete who changed schools to sit out a year, Josh finally acknowledged that he needed a new start. He transferred to Texas A&M Corpus Christi where he regained his footing, restored his confidence, and eventually led the nation in 3-point shooting percentage as a senior

Those experiences led to professional opportunities overseas, where he concluded a successful career and headed back to Lubbock older, wiser, and more mature.

Today he serves as a basketball official and is the Owner and Founder of Josh Washington Elite Basketball, where he continues to pour not only on-court skills into the minds and bodies of some of Lubbock’s best and brightest hoops prospects, but also their hearts.

Listen as Josh opens up and shares his journey of triumph, heartbreak, and resolute determination to succeed while helping and serving others in Episode #10: REBORN. 

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

What a week! I launched 6 days ago and the response has been better than I expected. Several people have reached out to encourage me and congratulate me for starting the Podcast, and I have really been excited to hear what people think so far. This is certainly a step outside my comfort zone and I’m still getting over trivial things…say for instance my dislike of the sound of my own voice or not fully knowing the ins and outs of proper audio production. Bet I’m getting there. I am not done yet.

And that’s kinda the whole point of this thing, now, isn’t it??

As promised, Word to the Third is my chance to reflect on the episodes of the recent past. This week, I dropped episode 7, fearless  with former gymnastics coach Bill Ryden and episode 8, Recovery founder of Take Action Today Michael Tyson. Now, on the surface these two stories couldn’t have been different. But as I reflected I realized that they had one thing in common: the power of one person.

For Bill Ryden, it was undoubtedly Diane Monty, the rising young star gymnastics student who helped Bill become a coach in the first place, then later petitioned her college coach to bring Jim Gault to bring Bill on staff at Arizona.

For Mike Tyson, it was his wife Crystal who stood steadfastly by his side through incredible ups and downs, never giving up and never surrendering no matter how hard it got.

For me, there have been more “one persons” than I can count. However, I thought it would be fun to share a story I recently shared with one of them, Dr. Jonah Rice.

Forever “Jody” to me, Dr. Rice is now the president at Southeastern Illinois College where I started my collegiate career almost three decades ago. What follows is an adaptation of a story I wrote and sent to him a couple of weeks ago.

And I promise: The cool Sky Walker Nike Dunks you see in the image art are part of the story, too. Listen to find out how!

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Helen Keller once said, “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” 

For Georgia native Michael Tyson, that trial and suffering started early. A tough upbringing found him growing up relatively poor and lacking much direction. By his mid-teens, he ended up in real trouble, eventually entering the juvenile justice system for the first time at the age of 15. Years of turmoil lay ahead, and after aging out of that system that had largely shielded him from the pain and spiral of addiction, he found himself battling a life that was headed toward destruction. 

Over time, he eventually experienced healing and recovery, with his relationship with God, his wife Crystal, and his community of friends providing much-needed support along the way. 

Soon after, he found steady income, benefits, and an identity working in the coal mines of Southern Illinois. But a sudden firing coupled with growing burnout and a search for purpose launched him in a new direction. 

Today, he finds himself in graduate school while leading Take Action Today, a non-profit faith-based recovery community organization that has flourished from a few volunteers meeting in a community park a year ago to three and soon to be four community resource centers and a staff of 15 professionals serving the needs of those struggling with addiction and lack of community in Southern Illinois.

Hear Mike’s inspiring story in episode #8: RECOVERY.

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

What would you do if you were an aeronautical engineer—a literal rocket scientist—but you just couldn't quite shake the feeling that there was more to life then lending your considerable brainpower to the creation of weapons of mass destruction?

If you are Colorado native Bill Ryden, you'd set your first professional career aside and get back in the gym. Growing up in the Rockies as a self-professed adrenaline junkie, Ryden spent his youth racing dirt bikes. But eventually he found his way into a gym, where he quickly fell in love with the sport--especially the high bar. 

After a highly successful collegiate and brief exhibition career as a competitive gymnast, Bill thought he'd hung up his grips for good and turned to the life of a working stiff at Lockheed Martin. But the lure of the gym kept calling him back, and a chance to jump back into the sport as a coach was just too much to resist. A job offer at the University of Arizona in 1990 changed his life forever.

Leaving the safety and security of the engineering world for the uncertainty and grind of college coaching was tough, but he followed his heart. Mentoring, coaching, and pushing young gymnasts to success in the gym and in life consumed the next two and a half decades of his life, eventually being named Head Coach of a Pac-10 program in 1998 where he stayed until 2015. 

But it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows from there. It was road trips and recruiting trails, exhilarating wins and gut-wrenching losses, and relationships--always relationships that made the journey simultaneously so very hard yet so very rewarding. And like every wild motorcycle ride at Mach speed with his hair blowing in the wind he'd taken years before, as exciting as it was, eventually it had to end. 

Hear Bill tell his story of dirt bikes and trampolines, Cold War science and chalked grips, and just how happy he is to have coached in an era BEFORE transfer portals and NIL agreements in Episode 7: FEARLESS

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

On this 2nd of January, gyms are packed. People are eating better. A new year promises a new beginning. Motivation runs high.

But none of my first four guests said a word about motivation. I never heard any of them complain about they were able to accomplish their goals because they’d been magically gifted an extra helping of internal drive. 

Because success isn’t ABOUT motivation.

I heard a great quote this morning: motivation has an expiration date. And when motivation dies, discipline must take its place.

That’s what Joseph, Kara, Brad, and Mike all said. Whether outright or in reading between the lines, they told me consistently that the way they found success and overcame failure was not because they were motivated. It was because they were disciplined.   

So 2023 for me is a year of discipline. I will not just start well, but I will plan strategically. I will work and pursue relentlessly. I will set personal bests physically. I will finish the book I have been working on most recently. And I will commit to the process of making Becoming Undone something I can be proud and that serves to inspire people around the world.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

What would you do if your wildest dreams came mostly true, but then the door closed before you were able to step through and enjoy it?

For Tucson, Arizona native Mike Meyer, big league dreams started early. But baseball was never supposed to be a profession to have as much as a passion to pursue. He knew he loved the game from the moment he began to understand the basics as a toddler. And the game loved him right back. 

From his early days playing on rec league teams to invite-only scrimmages and a starting spot on his highly competitive varsity squad before he was old enough to drive, success on the diamond came early and often. 

It was only natural, then, that those abilities would open opportunities for the future. And they did. A scholarship athlete at the University of Arizona, eventually he signed with the St. Louis Cardinals organization, spending three seasons in affiliated ball before completing six more in the independent leagues.

When it was finally time to hang up his spikes for the last time, he--like so many--struggled with what was left after the critical core of his identity had been taken away. But after a cold and lonely search for meaning and purpose, he found his true calling...back in a dugout in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.

Hear Mike tell his story of blue-collar work ethic, the relationship between study skills and grade point average for college athletes, and how a rockstar college gymnast changed his life on Episode 5: SOMEHOW I MANAGE

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Did you ever get exactly what you wanted, only to discover that maybe it wasn't exactly what you'd bargained for?

Wisconsin native Brad Arnett landed a highly coveted Assistant Athletics Director and Head Strength and Conditioning position at his SECOND Power Five NCAA Division I school when he left the University of Minnesota for the desert of Tucson and the University of Arizona in 2000. A monumental responsibility and honor for anyone, Brad did it before he turned 30. 

One of the brightest, most creative, and most effective minds in the business, he ultimately decided to listen to the feelings of a new purpose and a new direction, leading him to step down just five years later and help launch a business of his own.

Since then, his programs, his business savvy, and his ability to build relationships have all contributed to making NX Level Sports Performance one of the premiere facilities of its kind in the world, boasting a client list that includes JJ Watt.

Hear Brad tell his story of resilience, bold action, and why he thinks every strength coach needs a couch in their office on Episode 4: STRENGTH! 

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

I am a musician. I have been a drummer since beating on my mom’s pots and pans when I was three. I love most music—especially hip hop. When I was 16, I tore my ACL and had to have surgery. The day I got home from the procedure, I was stuck in bed and I had gotten a new CD in the mail from Columbia House: a new release by the hip hop group Third Bass. I listened to that disc on repeat for the next week, and the catchy beats and fun, light-hearted lyrics helped pull me out of what I now know was post-op depression. It seems fitting, then, that one of my favorite cuts from that album would serve as the name of the recurring segment that will appear every third episode on my show about pulling out of our low places and finding our new victory.

Leadership expert John Maxwell once said, “I’ve discovered that the price of change usually comes sooner than you think, is higher than you imagined it would be, and must be paid more often than expected.”

I’m learning that if I want to find success in my life—true success that is lasting and worthwhile, it requires me to knowingly and willingly pay the price.

This past summer, I completed the 75Hard challenge made popular by podcast personality and entrepreneur Andy Frisella. To complete the challenge, you have to commit to 75 straight days of 5 things: two 45-minute workouts with one of them being outside, sticking to a meal plan with no alcohol and no cheat meals, drinking a gallon or more of water, reading 10 pages in a development book, and taking a progress photo. If you miss even one thing on any day, you have to start back at day one. It’s tough. But it isn’t called 75 easy.

Maxwell says that paying the price is a three-stage process, and I can’t argue. First, we have to LEARN. Every day should be tackled with curiosity. “What do I need to learn today that I didn’t know yesterday?” I was NEVER a reader growing up. In college, I struggled with the assigned readings. But as I’ve become more focused on growth, I have come to realize how important that reading assignment is, and it is serving me well.

The second stage is UNLEARNING. “What do I need to let go of today that I held onto yesterday?” Pride and arrogance make us hard to teach. It’s tough to hold new ideas in hands that are gripping tightly to old ones. Unlearning means being vulnerable and open. It is rarely comfortable. But the toughest questions and hardest answers are necessary steps to the richest growth.

Lastly, Maxwell says we have to RELEARN. “What do I need to change today that I was doing yesterday?” New habits, new strategies, and new ideas are all mandatory if I hope to claim new territories in my life.

For me, this has taken the shape of a three-step process that I repeat to myself regularly each and every day: Strategic in Purpose. Relentless in Pursuit. Better Every day.

Plan the work. Work the plan. And move the needle ever so slightly in the pursuit of being better. I don’t always achieve it. But that’s the goal. Not better than you. Not better than some arbitrary standard. Better than me yesterday.

That’s the goal of Paying the Price, and this has been Word to the 3rd. I’m Toby Brooks, and I am Un-Done. 

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

Friedrich Nietzsche once said “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.” 

For the high achievers among us, the purpose and the enormity of our WHY can pull so forcefully and so relentlessly that we are willing to endure almost any HOW.

Competitive athletes are often celebrated for their singleness of focus and for their commitment to making their dreams reality. But sooner or later, those dreams inevitably have to end.

For many, the days, months, and even years that follow a career in sports can be empty and painful with a search for new purpose common in most. Sometimes that "thing" within the high achiever that drives them toward elite performance--at least in retrospect--is the very thing that makes it almost impossible to enjoy the journey while they're on it. 

However, for those who ultimately recognize that their task remains unfinished, that same drive and passion can fuel new successes. It is those who discover that the end of a chapter isn't the same as the end of the story who find true significance. 

Take Nazareth, PA native Kara Fry Meyer for instance. She might have spent two years on the United States Women's Gymnastics team, beating out millions of other aspiring young athletes in the process. She finished seventh in the 1994 World Championship Team Trials , appearing on ESPN one day and sheepishly brushed off questions about it back in her high school classroom the next. She might have even spent a moment of her life just a tantalizing millimeter away from the Olympic stage that had been her singular focus from her earliest years on. 

But it was the six who finished in front of her, not the million-plus behind her and the things that WEREN'T rather than the things that WERE that seemed to consume her efforts and energy. Hear Kara share her inspiring and introspective story with bravery and vulnerability in Episode 2: PERSPECTIVE

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

About the Guest

Nanci Kincaid is a celebrated novelist known for her emotionally resonant storytelling and authentic voice. She gained notable acclaim for her book Balls, published in 1998, which offers insights into the life of coaches' wives. Nanci was married to the late legendary coach Dick Tomey, whose coaching career spanned several successful programs, including Hawaii, Arizona, and San Jose State. Nanci has been an influential voice among spouses of sports professionals, providing a unique perspective from the sidelines of major college football. Her insights into life with a prominent coach and her own career as an author make her a compelling storyteller and personality.

Episode Summary

In this episode of Becoming UnDone, host Toby Brooks engages with Nanci Kincaid, the widow of iconic football coach Dick Tomey, to explore the legacy and lessons left by her late husband. Known for transforming underdog teams into contenders, Coach Tomey's leadership style was both demanding and compassionate, a hallmark of his illustrious career. His driving belief that "great coaches go into impossible places and make them possible" embodies his approach to coaching and life. Nanci shares memories and insights from their life together, painting an intimate portrait of a man who, despite the demands of a high-stakes profession, maintained deep personal connections and a commitment to character-building.

The episode delves into the challenges of the 2000s season, a pivotal point in Coach Tomey’s career, capturing the emotional weight of leading through difficult times. Nanci recounts how Tomey's belief in forgiveness, optimism, and continual growth helped both him and his teams succeed against odds. From discussions on leadership principles to personal anecdotes about life beyond the field, this episode offers a profound exploration of the values that Dick Tomey instilled not just in his players, but everyone around him. The conversation encapsulates the essence of maintaining cultural integrity, choosing happiness as a decision, and the significance of leaving a legacy defined by love and loyalty.

Key Takeaways

• Legacy of Leadership: Coach Dick Tomey's leadership style was marked by compassion, forgiveness, and a commitment to developing character in his players.
• Life Beyond Football: For Coach Tomey, football was not only about winning games but was a medium to teach important life lessons and foster personal growth.
• Resilience Through Challenges: The 2000 season was a testament to Tomey's resilience and ability to remain focused on team and individual values amidst professional turmoil.
• The Power of Forgiveness: One of Tomey’s greatest strengths was his ability to forgive, enabling others to grow and learn from their mistakes without fear of retribution.
• Cultural Impact: Coach Tomey's influence went beyond his formal coaching role, as he developed lasting relationships and left a timeless legacy in multiple communities.

Notable Quotes

1. "Great coaches go into impossible places and make them possible." – Nanci Kincaid
2. "I'm a learner. And that was the most romantic feeling thing I had ever h

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

My very first guest is Joseph Skrajewski, National Director of Business Development at the Hazelden Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage, California. Listen to Joseph's harrowing story of pursuing his dreams of high finance on Wall Street, surviving 9/11, overcoming addiction, and going on to become a world-renowned leader in bringing awareness, funding, and impact to the treatment of addiction disorders. His high energy and insights are sure to inspire!
 
His episode, Episode 1: PIVOT tells the tale of a bright young dreamer who found his purpose in an unexpected but most profound way on his journey to Becoming Undone. 

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

YOU. AREN'T. DONE YET.

Achievers aim high. 

But to fall short? Well—that’s human. 

Sometimes we fail. 

Sometimes we just run out of time. 

Either way, it is what we do with the end of one chapter that can make all the difference in the next. 

Are we broken into pieces?

Or can we see the bigger picture and realize that we aren’t finished?

Can we recognize that the end of a chapter isn’t the same as the end of the story. 

Becoming UnDone is the podcast for those who dare bravely, try mightily, and grow relentlessly.

Join me, Toby Brooks as I invite a new guest each episode, including artists, athletes, entrepreneurs, and other high achievers as we examine how to change the way we look at failure and shift from falling into pieces to falling into place.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. 

About the Host

Toby Brooks is an introspective speaker, coach, and author with experience in helping high-performance athletes and high achievers from diverse industries such as the arts, military, and entrepreneurship to navigate significant transitions in their lives. Through his personal journey from being an athlete to becoming a mentor and coach, Toby developed a keen insight into the identity shifts that accompany career and life changes. He has developed the UN.D.O.N.E. (tm) coaching model, aimed at helping individuals rebuild their lives and careers from the inside out.

Episode Summary

In this podcast episode, Toby Brooks explores the deep emotional journey many face as they transition from roles that once defined them. As someone who once sat in a locker room dealing with the loss of his identity as an athlete, Toby draws parallels between his experience and the struggles others face when their professional or personal identities change. He delves into what he terms "purpose storms," moments when individuals must confront the daunting question of who they are now that their previous roles have ended.

The episode further unpacks the journey of self-discovery and identity evolution. Toby highlights that losing an identity, whether it's as an athlete, a military leader, or a corporate executive, does not mean an end but rather a shift towards becoming something new. Using the story of Olympian Michael Phelps, he illustrates the profound impact identity loss can have and the need to grieve one's past identity to embrace new opportunities. This thoughtful discourse also introduces Toby's own UN.D.O.N.E. Method (tm), a framework for personal growth and transformation designed to guide people through significant life shifts with intention and courage.

Key Takeaways:

• Identity transitions are a common and challenging experience that many people face, irrespective of their profession or achievement level.
• Experiencing the end of a significant role or identity can lead to a deep period of introspection referred to as "purpose storms."
• Grieving past identities is essential to moving forward and embracing new opportunities and roles in life.
• The "Undone Method," Toby Brooks' coaching model, offers a structured approach to navigating personal and professional transitions.
• Identity does not disappear with the loss of a role; it evolves, and with support, the shift can lead to new, fulfilling paths.

Notable Quotes:

1. "Endings aren't just about what stops. They're about what shifts."
2. "Identity doesn't evaporate. It evolves."
3. "You might not be the athlete anymore, but maybe you're the mentor, the coach, the author, the entrepreneur."
4. "You have to grieve the old before you can greet the new."
5. "Even when it feels like it's over, it might just be the beginning."

Resources:

• Toby Brooks' Website: tobyjbrooks.com

Tune in to the full episode to engage with Toby Brooks' insightful journey and learn more about navigating life's transitions. Stay tuned for more compelling discussions on identity, purpose, and transformation in upcoming episodes.

Reach out to Becoming UnDone! Text Toby here!

Support the show

Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.