Becoming: HER with Nikki Spoelstra – Details, episodes & analysis

Welcome back to part 2 with Dr. Kat Vigo. Today we are talking about the thing no one really talks about: sex after you have a baby… Tune in to find out more! 

In this episode… 

• Sex life after a baby 
• Societal pressures 
• Perception vs. reality 
• Progesterone & estrogen 
• FOREPLAYYYYYYY FTW 
• A healthy vagina :)
• Health concerns 

Quotes

“Returning to intimacy after having a baby does not necessitate penetration and everyone thinks that.” - Dr. Kat Vigo 

“There are plenty of reasons why a postpartum vagina is not set up for success sexually.” - Dr. Kat Vigo 

“Our brains are largely rewired during and after pregnancy and it’s 100% focused on keeping that new baby alive.” - Dr. Kat Vigo

“We as women should be having the best sex of our lives throughout our lives.” - Nikki Spo

“The more we talk about these things the more people are able to ultimately come home to themselves, to feel happy and secure in their bodies and minds, and so that they can go and thrive and be the best versions of themselves.” 

Timestamps: 

0:00 - 1:25 - | Intro 

1:25 - 2:50 | Sex after having a baby 

2:50 - 4:35 | Societal / male pressure 

4:35 - 5:40 | Postpartum changes 

5:40 - 9:45 | Progesterone & estrogen 

9:45 - 13:20 | A healthy vagina for intercourse 

13:20 - 16:46 | Rest & digest postpartum 

16:46 - 21:55 | Do vaginas go back to normal?

21:55 - 24:20 | Making sense out of a postpartum vagina 

24:20 - 28:15 | Health concerns 

28:15 - 29:20 | Hope & healing 

29:20 - 31:50 | What holds women back from having these hard convos 

31:50 - 34:13 | Outro 

– 

SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com with my code THEKNOWGLOW.

Connect with Dr. Kat Vigo 

https://painlesspregnancy.com/ 

@painlesspregnancy  

Connect with Nikki 

www.nikkispo.com  

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo 

Welcome back fam to PART 2 of Divorce & Co-parenting with Michelle Dempsey-Multack. If you have not checked out part 1 it is sooo good. Anybody who is going through a divorce or separation or if you know somebody who is, I highly recommend you checking out part 1. Today we are getting started with part 2 so let's do this!

In this episode…

• Rediscovering what you like and who you are
• Becoming a better parent 
• Guilt vs. shame 
• Social media hate 
• Creating your own identity 
• Finding your co-parenting groove 
• Introducing new partners to your children 

Quotes

“You gotta make sure you’re with somebody you want and not somebody you need.” - Michelle Dempsey-Multack

“Co-parenting is underrated, it's made me a better parent.” - Nikki Spo

“You really have to understand the difference between guilt and shame. Are you guilty of doing something bad or do you feel ashamed because somewhere along the line you believed you weren’t allowed to have your own identity as a mother or a person.” - Michelle Dempsey-Multack

“Social media has become so black and white but when it comes to divorce you have to live in the gray. Get comfortable in the gray as a co-parent because that's your life” - Michelle Dempsey-Multack

“What good co-parenting is is supporting your child's relationship with the other parent, staying in your lane and letting them be the parent they need to be, and following your parenting plan. It doesn’t need to be more difficult than that.” - Michelle Dempsey-Multack

Timestamps: 

0:00 - 1:25 | Intro 

1:25 - 6:05 | Staying empowered 

6:05 - 11:40 | Co-parenting is UNDERRATED 

11:40 - 21:05 | Addressing social media hate 

21:05 - 25:55 | Finding your co-parenting groove 

25:55 - 30:15 | The importance of introducing new partners to your children 

30:15 - 32:33 | Outro 

—

SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com with my code THEKNOWGLOW.

Connect with Michelle 

https://momsmovingon.com/about/ 

@themichelledempsey  

Connect with Nikki 

www.nikkispo.com  

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo 

What’s up fam! Today we are welcoming back Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri for another conversation about narcissism and how to navigate it. This is part two of a multi-part series that we are doing and I'm really honored to have this opportunity to chat with her again. In our previous episode together, we talked about some of the different types of narcissism and narcissism in general and today we are focusing on the effects of being in a relationship with a narcissistic person. Tune in!

In this episode… 

• Spectrum of personality traits 
• Relationship patterns of narcissism 
• Love bombing 
• The 3 C’s
• Red flags 
• Trauma bonding
• DIMMER - what it means and what to look for
• Gaslighting 

Quotes:

“Narcissists come across as being really curious about you, but really what they're doing is they're collecting as much information so that they can use it against you.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

“Trauma bonded is trauma occurring within the relationship and that is the bond between the two.” - Nikki Spo 

“Gaslighting mostly occurs by a person who you trust.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

“Lying is a denial of reality and gaslighting goes on to dismantle the target.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

“I've learned over the years that I can't control how other people treat me or what they do to me or what they say to me or how they try to make me feel. I can only control my reaction to things and how I respond to those situations.” - Nikki Spo 

“You can't gaslight me because I know myself. I know who I am. But when you are in a space of not knowing who you are and slowly your self-worth is being chipped away at and that breaks down over and now you feel like your self-worth is completely diminished, that person is easy to gaslight.” - Nikki Spo 

“Gaslighting is the pathologically insecure person who's preying on the conventionally insecure person.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

“Let's not blame the victim. Let's give them the support that they need. Let's give them the understanding.” - Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

Timestamps: 

0:00 - 2:10 | Intro 

2:10 - 5:20 | Relationship patterns of narcissism 

5:20 - 8:25 | Breakdown of narcissistic relationships: Love bombing  

8:25 - 11:55 | Identifying the red flags 

11:55 - 14:05 | Trauma bonded 

14:05 - 15:55 | The devaluing phase 

15:55 - 22:40 | Manipulation 

22:40 - 34:05 | Gaslighting

34:05 - 39:45 | The D and R of DIMMER 

39:45 - 42:40 | Hoovering 

42:40 - 46:05 | Having a narcissistic partner 

46:05 - 48:55 | Cognitive fallouts 

48:55 - 51:15 | Emotional or interpersonal fallouts 

51:15 - 52:10 | Fallout of identity 

52:10 - 53:25 | Physical and behavioral fallout 

53:25 - 55:50 | Giving support 

55:50 - 57:44 | Outro 

– 

SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com with my code THEKNOWGLOW.

–

When shopping for a new car, Toyota of North Miami has to be at the top of your list. Toyota of North Miami is a Miami based dealership that offers you a superior selection of new Toyota vehicles as well as a large inventory of used vehicles and certified pre owned Toyotas. Right now, you can lease a new Toyota Corolla for just $79 a month and get free car washes for life. Be sure to check out Toyota of North Miami for all of your car purchasing needs. 

Connect with Dr. Rachna Buxani-Mirpuri 

https://buxanicare.com/rachna-buxani-mirpuri/ 

@bruxanicare 

Connect with Nikki 

www.nikkispo.com  

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo 

Ladies and Gentlemen.... WE are DONE suffering. There's no trophy or award that goes out to She Who Suffered the Most. And if there were, I wouldn't want it. Join me this week as I chat about what a Trophy Life is NOT and catch my tips for limiting your suffering and learning how to delegate.

Connect with me:

www.nikkispo.com

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo

For info on collabs/sponsorships, email brands@nikkispo.com.

--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nikki-spo/support

Raising Standards with Kornelija Slunjski

SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com with my code THEKNOWGLOW.

Kornelija Slunjski is an unstoppable woman who is next-level passionate about female empowerment. She lives her inner-knowing daily by helping others boost their confidence and take control of their lives. This episode is packed with relationship advice, ways to stay true to yourself and love yourself, how to shift your mindset, and ways to make positive changes. Tune in to learn how to be the best version of yourself.

In this episode:

• Building yourself up
• Hitting rock bottom
• Finding your truth
• Rebuilding yourself
• Giving advice
• Taking control
• Making changes
• Cosmetic procedures
• Not letting beauty standards define you
• Relationship Advice
• Staying true to yourself
• Not letting haters get to you
• How to find the right person
• Taking care of yourself
• Mediation
• Ways to feel good
• Putting your phone down
• Being happy
• Making genuine positive changes

SOUND BITES YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS:

“Focus on yourself. Live your life and the right man will come when you are happy”

“What makes me the happiest is when I get messages from girls that say ‘if it wasn’t for you, I would still be entertaining that toxic relationship.’ They are understanding their worth.”

“Sometimes you just need to take control. Your life is your life. No one should control how you are feeling.”

“I am trying to teach women to listen to themselves.”

“I was called high maintenance. I AM high maintenance. I know exactly what I want and exactly what I am going to ask for. I am not going to change my preferences.”

“Relationships are very complex. You should never have to compromise on your fundamental needs.”

“A lot of people are trying to change other people’s personalities. But why? Find someone who shares the same vision, lifestyle, and views of a relationship.”

Connect with Nikki:

www.nikkispo.com

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo

Connect with Koko:

https://kornelijaslunjski.com

@kokobeaute

For information on collabs/sponsorships please contact brands@nikkispo.com.

--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nikki-spo/support

Join me for a mini solo episode where I talk about Life Mountains. Everyone is facing their own challenges whether those are in work, love, health, or life in general, and this week I am hopping on the mic to encourage you to keep climbing. Seth Godin's book The Dip is super relevant here, and I talk about some of the ideas outlined in the book that really helped me determine what/when to quit vs when to keep going. Enjoy!

xoxo

Nikki Spo

Connect with me:

www.nikkispo.com

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo

For info on collabs/sponsorships, please email brands@nikkispo.com.

--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nikki-spo/support

SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com with my code THEKNOWGLOW.

--

In this episode, we have a serious, yet necessary conversation. We discuss the Columbine shooting in Denver, Colorado on April 20th, 1999. Nikki interviews Will Beck, a survivor of the Columbine High School shooting. In this powerful, truthful, and emotional episode, Will recounts this horrific day and walks us through his memories. This episode goes beyond Will’s story and talks about recovering from pain and trauma. It is important to take the time to tell these stories so that they don’t become myths. It’s real, and it is happening today.

In this episode…

• Remembering Columbine
• Surviving Columbine
• Will Beck’s memory of that day
• Friendship
• Suffering from loss
• Getting through absolute pain
• Telling your story
• The aftermath of a traumatic event
• Processing trauma
• Feeling lost
• Holding your friends close
• Realizing the importance of life
• Living your life to the fullest

Connect with Nikki

www.nikkispo.com

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo

--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nikki-spo/support

Big Thank you to our Sponsor Pillow Cube for presenting today’s episode of The Know with Nikki Spo. Head on over to pillowcube.com and use my code NikkiSpo10 for 10% off of your next Pillow Cube Purchase. The Side Kick Cube is my personal favorite but if you’re all stocked up on your side sleeper pillows… I HIGHLY recommend you give the KNEEZY pillow a try. You won’t regret it! Oh! And Don’t forget to use my code NikkiSpo10 for your 10% discount.

www.pillowcube.com

CODE: NIKKISPO10

__

There's no way around it. Some days are really, really difficult. In this solo episode, I go through some of my go-to coping methods, how they has changed over time, what I try to avoid, and why it's so important to have a network of trusted friends I can turn to. I also discuss how I try to honor painful emotions, stay grounded, and keep things in perspective without forcing gratitude or participating in toxic positivity.

I chat about honoring my essence. I chat about the great balancing act of life. And I chat about the concept that it is okay to not have it all together.

Enjoy!

Connect with Nikki:

www.nikkispo.com

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo

For info on collabs/sponsorships, please email brands@nikkispo.com.

--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nikki-spo/support

SANA SKIN STUDIO is my #1 go-to spot for self-care. My favorite facial is the Super Glow, and you can get $25 off of your first facial when you book at www.sanaskinstudio.com with my code THEKNOWGLOW.

-

Charell Star is a Brand + Partner Media Manager in the FinTech Field, an online journalist, contributor, and featured lifestyle, tech, and fashion expert for on-air segments. As a former foster care youth, she now advocates as an appointed Board Member of CASA NYC and City Living NY.

The strength and vulnerability of Charell Star are magnified in this episode of The Know as she discusses her experience in the foster care system. Charell tells us her story and how she has become successful. This was not because of the system, but because of her hard work, research, and the kind people who empowered her on her journey. Charell uses her platform today to speak out against the broken system and works to give our youth a voice. Listen in to learn about how the system works, the stigmatism surrounding our vulnerable youth, and how we can all help to begin fixing the system.

In this episode…

• The vulnerability of the foster care system
• Abuse within the foster care system
• Healing from childhood abuse
• Learning how the Foster Care system works
• Trauma being relative to you
• How to begin helping the system
• Using your platform to empower others
• Being the voice for other individuals
• All the ways that everyone can be proactive to help our youth
• How our youth are penalized for doing nothing wrong
• Stigmatism around foster care
• Not being afraid to stand up
• Assuming children do not deserve resources
• Helping others
• How we can help

Connect with Charell

www.charellstar.com

@charellstar

Connect with Nikki

www.nikkispo.com

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo

--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nikki-spo/support

Okay! So this week on The Know I'm giving you all the info on what I learned the two times I gave birth. I had my first son in 2018 and my second son in 2019... and with my baby girl on the way, I've been reminiscing about what I was taught about childbirth. When you're pregnant, there are usually a ton of people who love to tell you what to do with your body (ummmmmmm... let's not even start with how BIG of a problem that is)... and I am not here to tell you what to do with yours. But! I do want to give you some insight into how I made decisions regarding the birth of my two children, and how I worked together with my doctor, my partner, and my doula. Also - I share some tips and tricks about.... pushing... that I picked up along the way.

Please keep an open mind! I am truly speaking from personal experience. As always - do your own research, consult with your doctor, and come up with a plan that works best for you!

xoxo!

Nikki Spo!

Connect with me:

www.nikkispo.com

@nikkisappspo / @theknowwithnikkispo

For info on collabs/sponsorships, please email brands@nikkispo.com.

--- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/nikki-spo/support