A team of artists telling THE GREATEST BEST FRIEND STORY that the galaxy has ever seen!
While everybody else is out saving the world, we’re just trying to find the next best place to eat.
Join us on our haphazard adventure.
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The Bastards are partnering with D8 Dungeon on the D8DungeonDrive 2026! They are rolling dice and auctioning off a seat at their table for you and yer friends! Head over to https://tinyurl.com/epictables26 to see what's up for grabs, place your bids, and get ready to RUMBLE!
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S4E14 OVER
Season 4 · Episode 14
Friday, August 7, 2026 • Duration 01:08:03
The party is split.
Ze and Boris are riding the rails, while Cleo, Robin and Trevor take to the skies aboard Jordan to reclaim their hard-won spoiler and rescue R.E.E.S.E. from the galaxy’s worst parking job.
They hatch a quick plan with a healthy dose of “Robin diplomacy” Somehow, the Terrans, the Synths and the Wraiths all seem to be working together for once, forcing Cleo into yet another lesson on why “just smoke everyone” is not a reliable conflict resolution strategy.
With the train’s resident explosives enthusiast in tow, Team Bastard attempts a mid-air rescue, complete with body-snatching, questionable ethics, and far more confidence than planning.
For once, everything actually seems to be coming together.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by - Reda
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
Distributed by Realm
Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards
If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
Join our Discord!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
HOMEGAME 01 | Seventeen Thirty-Eight
Friday, July 17, 2026 • Duration 02:45:30
Far east of Rhalloran, a caravan winds its meager way through the woods. We find ourselves on the trail, with a mercenary, an alchemist, an old witch, and a hundred score displaced by the wars of empire. Within the myriad worlds of the caravan, there is great coin to be made tonight. Unfortunately, the alchemist isn’t the only one who knows it.
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON
This is HOMEGAME, a Patron exclusive return to our fantastical Bastard roots- the high fantasy worlds of Rhalloran! We’re keeping in the derail, the rules chat, the meta of all metas, and dammit, we’re eating snacks at the table while we do it. Pull up a chair, and grab a brew- because we’re bringing you into our HOMEGAME!
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Pencerdd Cwenhild the Unhale -- Taylor van Biljon
Siege -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by - Bjorn Hurri
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
Distributed by Realm
Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON
If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
Join our Discord!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
HOMEGAME 00 | The set up chat
Friday, July 17, 2026 • Duration 02:31:50
For nearly six years, we have roamed the far reaches of outer space.
But once upon a time, we were magic. We were pirates! We were sword and shield fighters in an arcane land..
..we were also recording on headsets and eating crisps into the microphone.
So it’s high time we return to the fantasy, and high tail it back to the grind of pre-plumbing!
Tonight we’re building characters, and we’re spilling out all of our ideas. This is the episode zero of our HOMEGAME, so pull up a chair and meet Cwenhild, and Siege- the raw, rough edged dream-vessels of our first “casual” game in at least 600 years.
Magic?? Crossbows? Table snacks? WE’RE BACK BABY.
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON
This is HOMEGAME, a Patron exclusive return to our fantastical Bastard roots- the high fantasy worlds of Rhalloran! We’re keeping in the derail, the rules chat, the meta of all metas, and dammit, we’re eating snacks at the table while we do it. Pull up a chair, and grab a brew- because we’re bringing you into our HOMEGAME!
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Pencerdd Cwenhild the Unhale -- Taylor van Biljon
Siege -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by - Bjorn Hurri
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
Distributed by Realm
Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our PATREON
If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
Join our Discord!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S4E13 Boris is on a train
Season 4 · Episode 13
Friday, June 19, 2026 • Duration 01:11:39
Team Bastard is winning the race, but losing the war.
Turns out, leaving a spaceship full of stolen bioweapons in a parking lot after live streaming the theft to the whole galaxy was not the best plan. R.E.E.S.E. has sounded the alarm and called for help as mysterious interlopers kick down his door. Our racers face a tough call: how do you keep one foot in the race but steal your ride back at the same time? As usual, the answer is somewhere in between teamwork, theft, and trains.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by -
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
Distributed by Realm
-
Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards
If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
Join our Discord!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S4E12 It's heating up
Season 4 · Episode 12
Thursday, May 28, 2026 • Duration 01:12:44
The dangers of the track chew into the racers like they’re free fried tentacles with extra sauce.
Things are heating up in the second stretch, and the Bastards aren’t the even the only ones that brought explosives! Despite that, they manage to power through AND teach young Robin something about the virtues of family, while enjoying a trains-eye view. (You’ll get that joke later. Maybe.)
Everything is looking pretty golden when they get a little call from R.E.E.S.E. on the walkie.
He’s got company, and they left him unattended in the parking lot with a hull full of powdered bioweapon and a universe full of heat.
Weird choice in hindsight.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by - Daniel Matthews
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
Distributed by Realm
-
Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards
If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
Join our Discord!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S4E11: Let the race begin!
Season 4 · Episode 11
Friday, May 15, 2026 • Duration 01:21:41
The flag drops, the crowd roars, and the Bastards are gunning it.
Jordan is pulling, Trevor is driving (sort of), Cleo, Boris, and Robin are in the back doing something that smells like chemistry- and Ze is hanging off the back on a wheel and wreaking havoc.
The race starts out behind a massive spiked train filled with secrets. There are wraiths on the track, three-legged synths, the musical stylings of Bad Snax, and a mess of rowing Terrans.
But Bastards are a family with a mission, and they cannot lose. Not after everything they’ve been through, and certainly not in front of Robin!
They have a weapon called The Doctor. They have a plan. They have.. Tomatoes.
And when they round that first corner and a cart gets wrecked- it almost seems like that plan is working.. That those suspicious figures that fled through the stands were just another family of losers.. Just one less obstacle between them, the family fun lesson of a lifetime, and that shiny new spaceship spoiler..
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by - Skia
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
Distributed by Realm
-
Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards
If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
Join our Discord!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S4E10: COME ON DOWN
Season 4 · Episode 10
Sunday, April 26, 2026 • Duration 01:06:30
The Bastards have Robin, and the whole dang universe is watching.
They’re cruising around when a radio broadcast cuts through the noise: family fun racing, open entry, and first prize is a brand new ship plating kit with a genuine, certified, SPACE SPOILER.
It’s BYOracecar, and you can’t leave the ground- so the Bastards head down into the belly of the R.E.E.S.E. to see what they can mod.
They rip the roof off of Cleo’s red rover, plan some creative compartments for weapon crafting (because this is a zero plasma production! That means no blasters, no energy blades, no nothin’!), and of course, a plan for a very specific amount of tomatoes.
Just Jordan the engine, a sprinkle of Bastard ingenuity, and a weapon called The Doctor hanging off the back.
They’ve got a heading and a dream. Maybe they’ll teach Robin the meaning of family after all…
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by - Skia
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
Distributed by Realm
-
Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards
If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
Join our Discord!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
S4E09: Bad Seed
Season 4 · Episode 9
Friday, March 27, 2026 • Duration 01:11:46
The Bastards make it to the black hole, ready to dispose of their universe-ending problem.
Unfortunately, Robin got there first.
Now bigger, weirder, and in control of a sentient armada, Robin has a plan- and it’s not exactly “leave the galaxy untouched.”
It doesn’t take long for the crew to vote for violence; but Cleo would like to try a bigger weapon…
Meanwhile, their location is blown, Biolife is calling (rude), and more ships are arriving by the second.
With Robin on the brink of doing something truly irreversible, The Bastards have to make a call:
do what they always do… or listen to Cleo.
This has kind of worked before. Technically.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Episode art by - Skia
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
Distributed by Realm
-
Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards
If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
Join our Discord!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
BONUS | SideArm The Big Light
Thursday, March 12, 2026 • Duration 01:04:09
The big bad of scheduling hit us! After all this is still a game that is a podcast, even us heroes roll nat 1 on scheduling hehe. But so that ya have something here is an episode from behind the Patreon. Love you all and we will be back on time again asap.
Black Hole Son wont ya come! . . .
The crew is back and absolutely nobody is staying on topic. This episode: the Big Light gets the analysis it deserves, the definitive sexy foods tier list is finally settled, and an important debate about shower hydration concludes. Bodie joins the chaos. You're going to want to hear this one.
Starring:
DM Dick Dynamite the Dungeon Master -- Richard Kimber-Bell
Cleo deCap / M8 -- Taylor van Biljon
Dr Ze/Doctor Zafrey Elektra -- Daniel Matthews
Yorp -- Bodie
Ambiance sound support by Jamie Nord and Michaël Ghelfi
Synth Music Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio
Episode Edit / Sound design by Daniel Matthews
Distributed by Realm
-
Send inquiries and fanart to backwaterbastards@gmail.com
Support the show and gain access to extra content by joining our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Backwaterbastards
If you love what you hear, share us with a friend! Find everything else on our website at www.backwaterbastards.com
Join our Discord!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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