Explore every episode of the podcast Back to the Barre
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| A Conversation with Producer Annie | 02 Sep 2024 | 00:51:41 | |
"An interview chair is fun for five minutes, but for twelve hours? Like being in the room with Abby having to interview her, a solid 40% of the time being on her phone with her lawyer because she doesn't want to answer one of the questions I'm asking? Telling me that I should have spent 15 more minutes doing my hair and make-up or listening to the stupid people in my ear? It's just like constant berating AND I was hungover. So it was a little bit of a disaster on Tuesdays." It's a special day at Back to the Barre as Christi and Kelly welcome Dance Moms Producer Annie Leonard to sit down and answer some questions and to set some records straight. Annie also offers a frank reality check that while she's friendly with our lovely Bitches, it was ostensibly her job to ruin their lives when possible since you can't make good TV without some conflict! What does the Producer's job look like day to day? What was the most difficult aspect of producing Dance Moms and how did it compare to other reality shows? Which moms were the easiest to work with and which ones made a producer's job difficult? The answer to that last one may surprise you, so tune-in to find out the answers to the se questions and more! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Follow Annie on IG: www.instagram.com/annebreiter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Too Many Maddies | 26 Aug 2024 | 00:51:07 | |
"I'm a horrible human being. Well no you aren't you have cancer so you have a pass right? Isn't that the way it goes? Yeah, and this is the cancer episode!" Well now that Kelly has an excuse and Christi is still AWOL on the second half of the Dance Moms Cares Special, it should be smooth sailing from here with no more infighting. Right? Abby even has to step out to care for her mother, thereby giving the moms some Abby free time, things have to be smoothing sailing from here. Well it never is as easy as one would hope, this is Dance Moms after all! The day of the competition arrives and the moms find themselves waiting in a gymnasium for a change, leading to some reminiscing about their days as cheerleaders. But the happy times are short lived as Leslie continues her stand-off with Kelly, whom she sees as an obstacle in Payton's path onto the team. The moms are still confused by Leslie's insistence that Payton be included, as she's clearly out of place with the rest of the girls in both height and age, but Leslie doesn't back down. The moms also point out that it isn't a fair match between Chloe and Payton since Payton has had months to prep her dance compared to Chloe's few days, but once again nothing will sway Leslie from getting her daughter the spot she feels she deserves. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Designer Imposter Dog | 24 Jun 2024 | 01:16:19 | |
"What do we do with [Broadway Baby]? Put a Big Mac inside of her!" jokes Kelly as after many months of waiting Abby finally is reunited with Broadway Baby's stuffed corpse on "The Dancing Dead". But as Christi and Kelly point out, it's pretty obvious that Broadway Baby got a bit more than a facelift at the taxidermist. While the show notes Baby has a new set of eyes, the fur looks remarkable whiter than when Baby was alive! If the fur isn't even Baby's... could you even call this Broadway Baby at all? Abby decides Baby needs a proper-Abby sanctioned tribute dance and bestows Nia with her first solo in many months, though with choreography that has Nia literally bouncing around on her butt it isn't exactly the comeback Holly hoped for. Kelly makes her contractually mandated return this week as she "invites" the moms over to her house, with the exception of Melissa who is intentionally left out over her most recent actions over the break. While the moms can't convince Kelly to bring her kids back yet, she does "agree" to join the team on their trip to Xpression Dance Competition in Florida. Of course this doesn't sit well with Abby, who decides the best course of action is to block Kelly from sitting down during the show. Kelly responds in-kind by standing next to Abby for four hours, a full on Mexican standoff. Elsewhere Kristie Ray begins to prep for Raising Asia and starts to stir the pot as best she can, even though as far as the other moms can tell she has no reason to do so! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| The Abbey | 29 Aug 2022 | 01:18:29 | |
“There are two good episodes of Chloe in ‘Dance Moms’ and this is one of them,” says Christi of the final episode of Season 1. In this episode, the girls and their moms are still in L.A., (although there is a “pickup” scene that is filmed in Studio B back in Pittsburgh and everyone had to pretend otherwise.) Chloe is chosen to portray the younger version of singer Lux in Lux’s music video, “It’s Like Summer.” This was really a competition between Chloe and Paige, and as Christi points out, Paige received high praise from producers and more camera time than even Chloe in the video’s final cut. Yet Dance Mom producers made it seem like another rivalry between Chloe and Maddie to amp up the drama. Kelly and Christi finally find an “abbey” they like. They talk about visiting The Abbey, a West Hollywood institution and wonder, not for the first time, how a group of moms from suburban Pittsburgh ever found themselves in such a crazy situation. Back then, reality stars didn’t think to brand themselves or utilize social media the way they do now. Only a few years later, other cast members like JoJo Siwa, capitalized on the mistakes and missed opportunities of the show’s original core cast. Kelly and Christi continue to share hilarious anecdotes about being recognized in their early days of fame, when people still thought they knew the ladies from the bank or from church, but we’re still waiting to hear the story about naked pizza. Quotes “Abby uses one of my favorite quotes, the one that reminds me of the night I got roofied: It’s every man for himself.’ She said that when I got roofied.” (13:37-13:48 | Christi) “It’s really unfortunate that Chloe and I are featured a lot in this episode’s interviews because these are the worst interview looks Chloe and I have ever had so far.” (22:47-22:59 | Christi) “We had the bows before JoJo had the bow-bow.” (24:49-24:51 | Christi) “Melissa looks like she’s from ‘Little House on the Prairie’ in these episodes, except with fake boobs.’ (34:19-34:26 | Christi) “We weren’t of that era. Now, when people get cast on shows they think, ‘How can I have this be on my social media? How can I leverage this? How can I brand this like JoJo with the bows?’ We had bows in every episode but JoJo had someone to brand her. And she was three years later, and watched us so she knew what to expect.” (39:13-39:37 | Kelly and Christi) “No one knew what to do with us or our kids. It was just a totally different thing. Now, if you’re on TV you can say, ‘Here’s a link to my outfit.’ Then we just thought, ‘What isn’t dirty. What can I put on my body and just crawl into the dance studio and get through the day. We were not like that. The world wasn’t like that.” (40:52-41:19 | Christi) “The kids spent 24/7 together, you didn’t really want to be in an argument with each other.” (42:42-42:48 | Kelly) “I know everyone in the audience says, ‘You could have called and met with the producer Seven.’ No, I couldn’t. Just like I couldn’t go and meet with an acting coach because I was on a TV show, and I could only do what they allowed me to do.” (43:57-44:14 | Kelly) “Let’s drink in honor of the kidnapper van. I wish it would kidnap me.” (47:43-47:48 | Kelly and Christi) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Is This Still Fun? | 22 Aug 2022 | 01:20:17 | |
“Before the show, I didn’t even know I rolled my eyes,” Christi says while recapping Episode 11 of Dance Moms. Christi’s eyes get as much of a workout this episode, which takes place in Lake Tahoe, as Chloe, whose dancing/filming schedule has been so punishing she’s starting to break down. When Abby sits the mothers down to give feedback about their daughters’ techniques, she says Chloe lacks confidence, not realizing her relentless criticism is the cause. She says Brooke and Paige are slow to comprehend things, and Kelly is quick to point out that Brooke is 13 and dancing with 6-year-olds, when she danced with senior girls as a 5-year-old. Brooke has several national title trophies, which Kelly tells Abby to shove up her ass. Kelly blows up in rehearsal because, once again, Maddie gets special treatment at the expense of Paige and Brooke. She regrets the times she got upset on camera because it let producers know what got under her skin and how to use it against her. Meanwhile Chloe and Maddie’s sweet exchanges backstage at the auditorium show how close the girls truly are without Abby’s negative and meddling influence. The moms had the same camaraderie with each other, despite producers only ever showing them fighting. While filming these episodes, the moms were becoming more aware, in real time, of how they were being portrayed, what producers were up to, and how they needed to change their behavior in order to protect themselves and their daughters. Eleven years later, there are still regrets and fresh wounds, but ultimately a hard earned sense of humor about it all. Quotes “It seems very glamorous. All these people who would come on and be featured and be told that they were amazing. They weren’t doing the grind like our kids. So, everyone thought it was super glamorous but when you really stepped into it, it was hard as hell.” (18:09-18:26 | Christi) “I think that’s a little glimpse that you get into the moms. Even though the only interaction you see is us always fighting, we would sit upstairs for hours, and 90 percent of the time we laughed our asses off..” (23:50-24:04 | Christi) “Normally, Abby is throwing us out. Last week she said, ‘You don’t need to be here, get out!’ Now, this week she wants us in. She probably wanted us to make costumes, honestly.” (25:49-26:03 | Kelly and Christi) “I am just sheer misery on camera.” (30:16-30:19 | Christi) “I don’t want my kids to be like Maddie and Chloe. I never cared if my kids got first place. My complaint always was good choreography that could compete and a good costume. I didn’t want to beat Chloe. I didn’t want to beat Maddie. And neither did they, they were always very happy for the others.” (32:45-33:04 | Kelly) “The problem with our show is Abby had too much control. If there had been people behind the scenes–which we tried to get—an off-camera choreographer, an off-camera costume people and Abby wasn’t calling the shots on everything, (33:39-33:56 | Christi) “Even for our kids to get good dances, the producers would have to almost kill Abby. They would have to bribe her, they would have to threaten her. (33:57-34:05 | Christi) “They show a shot of me, and my eye roll is absolutely ludicrous. I have one eye closed, one eye in the back of my head. It looks like I’m having a seizure. (35:28-35:38 | Christi) “Before the show, I didn’t even know I rolled my eyes.” (35:39-35:43 |Christi) “I’ve said this all along: When you have high expectations of someone, they rise to the occasion. When you’re constantly putting them down, then they feel like they’re a failure and can’t do it anyway, and think Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| It’s All Kelly’s Fault | 15 Aug 2022 | 01:21:25 | |
One thing Christi and Kelly understood very early on in filming the show was that they had a job to do. It was starring on ‘Dance Moms,’ complete with all of the personal and familial sacrifices that come with it. This was Abby’s job, too, though she fails to recognize this or act accordingly. Once again, the moms can be seen on camera signing paperwork (signing their lives away, Kelly jokes). It also means they realize for the first time this episode, they will have to deal with the wrath of crazy fans, even in a side alley in L.A. Guest choreographer Michael steps in to give Paige the attention and instruction that is Abby’s job to give. Kelly insists she would never hire Michael in real life, but had to listen to producer instructions. After all, she had a job to do. When it comes to her role as choreographer and star maker, however, Abby has always known exactly what she was doing. She has a power lunch with Maddie (who drinks her Shirley Temple from a martini glass) to discuss Maddie’s career. Abby later tells her the dance she’s about to perform will be the one that will make her a star. This dance is widely considered to be the one that inspired singer Sia to feature Maddie in her video ‘Chandelier,’ after which Maddie’s career was launched into the stratosphere. Eleven years on, the ladies continue to work hard to keep us as entertained in these recaps as they did on the show. Hear Christi detail that first encounter with a crazy Abby fan, why she and Holly were in an alley, how weed was involved, and what made Christi shit her pants, not once, but twice. Quotes “This is the first episode after the show premiered and you can totally tell that we’ve stepped up our glam.” (6:04-:6:11 | Christi) “The producers like to make Abby look like she babysits our kids. Meanwhile, she never watched our kids, nor would we want her to.” (15:42-15:50 | Kelly) “All of a sudden out of nowhere, in 14-inch stiletto platform pumps, Shangela hits the ground—boom!—in the death drop and we shit our pants.” (25:29-25:39 | Christi) “No wonder Candy Apples was such a producer’s favorite because it’s almost like parody, the whole thing.” (30:40-30:48 | Christi) “One thing I was thinking is that Abby talked about what she gave up for the show. Well, we did, too. My ten-year-old is at home alone for the next month. I gave up things for the show, too.” (32:48-32:05 | Kelly) “The minute I hear ‘Dream on a Star’ my heart squeezes. That is my favorite, it has a special place in my heart.” (41:19-41:34 | Christi) “Then we have a weird interaction where Abby is talking to us like we’re humans. It’s weird.”(42:44-42:51 | Christi) “Abby goes on to say that it’s really unprofessional when one professional mocks another professional. But I’m thinking, ‘Isn’t it really unprofessional when a teacher mocks a student, too?” (55:22-55:34 | Christi) “This might be the dance that Sia saw and decided she was moved by Maddie, and wanted her in ‘Chandelier.’ Abby was completely right because she said this could change your life and it has. It did. Look at Maddie’s career, it’s incredible. So, Abby knew what she was doing, and we’ve always said that.” (59:58-1:00:17 | Christi) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Rumor Has It | 08 Aug 2022 | 01:23:27 | |
“I’m so fired up,” says Christi in regards to episode 9 of Dance Moms, “This is one of those episodes that I’m still pissed off about.” It’s the episode in which the crew heads to Las Vegas, where the girls do their dance routine as each of the seven deadly sins. Kelly and Christi agree the theme was simply a way for Abby to get another dig in at the girls, (e.g. Chloe is envious of Maddie and Brooke wastes her talent by being lazy). The women discuss the den of lust that was the Rumor, a sleazy and completely inappropriate hotel for young children to stay. Abby herself commits the other sins like gluttony (only filming with the girls in Rumor’s restaurant because there was ice cream involved), and she’s as full of wrath as ever for anyone who gets in her way. She even breaks some commandments as Kelly insists that Abby truly wants the girls to disrespect their parents, and she spreads false rumors about all of the mothers knowing the audience will automatically believe her.
This episode is also a watershed as it’s the first one where a group of new mothers come into Cathy’s Candy Apple studios trying to be like the “core four” Moms and Christi and Kelly agree it doesn’t work. The Moms visit an ice bar and as soon as they leave they attend the premiere of Dance Moms, which is pretty much the moment their lives completely change. Christi says the ice bar is her all time favorite moment as it’s the last time they were just Kelly, Christi, Melissa and Holly–four regular moms from Pittsburgh.
Join the party to find out why the moms were escorted out of the premiere, and the two words that Christi shares with Kelly that will haunt them both for the rest of their lives.
Quotes “I think Abby would like none of the children in the world to have mothers, so she could just rule.” (12:36-12:43 | Kelly) “It didn’t take much to make the girls happy, the producers should have done something every week to make them happy. It wouldn’t have been that difficult.” (31:21- 31:29 | Kelly) “Kelly you say, ‘I’m so excited that the girls are seeing this, because it shows what they’ve been working for.’ And then the very next sentence is Liz telling us that she works topless.” (32:02-32:15 | Christi) “The night we premiered we were still filming. We couldn’t even have the night that our show premiered off. We were working.” (37:48-37:59 | Kelly) “Let me just say, the only way they got Abby to go down there was the ice cream. She was not babysitting our children. They said you have to come down and film for 15 minutes with ice cream sundaes, or she would not have been filming.” (39:02-39:17 | Kelly) “To be fair, Holly was probably only drinking because she was trying to use the alcohol to kill any germs she picked up at Rumor.” (52:30-52:36 | Christi) “Abby tells us that I’m rude and arrogant and clueless. Funny though, Abby always talks about how I was smart and you had to watch me. It just goes to show that she knows that whatever she says, people will believe. And she says it a few other times in this episode about other things and it pisses me off because I think, ‘They’re you go, just saying shit people will believe just because you’re saying it.’” (56:28-56:53 | Christi) “We always start off strong at the beginning of the seasons, and then halfway through, by Nationals, when we get to the New Orleans episode in Season 3, you see me in New Orleans, and you when you’re sitting on the dumpster at the end of Season 2. We look like we have been ridden hard and put away wet. It’s exhausting. Rough.” (1:03:47-1:04:17 | Christi) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Flip Flop Shot | 02 Aug 2022 | 01:40:13 | |
“This is the worst dance I’ve seen yet on ‘Dance Moms,’” says Christi of Episode 8, “We look like snowbirds coming down from Cleveland.” The dance in question featured Brandon, whose mother Diane, a longtime friend of the two and member of the ALDC studio, joins the podcast to describe her experience of filming. Diane and Brandon surprised everyone by showing up in Orlando. Brandon is joining the group dance, in which he plays a photographer to the girls’ models. He and Brooke have a ‘dating history,’ going back to when they were nine, and even a decade since the episode, Diane and Kelly are convinced they might still get married. Diane makes no secret about the rushed and dishonest nature of filming the show– revealing that she was instructed to cause premeditated drama. Christi fills in gaps in the narrative to address long standing fan questions. Once again, the ethics of the show’s producers are brought into question. Throughout this episode the children are being shown in an adult light, which ranges from hilarious (Brooke reflecting on her major growth between 9 and 13), to disturbing (Abby’s ambiguous descriptions of Brooke and Brandon’s dancing; Maddie saying if she couldn’t dance, she’d kill herself). Christi explains her frustration that Cathy and Melissa got to break the rules inside and outside of the show, while she and Kelly honored the job they agreed to do and suffered the consequences for it. The watermelon game and its fallout highlight the differences in the way the moms parent, and in the way Melissa acts on and off camera. The three note the sad irony that these girls, once dubbed ‘the dream team,’ lost all of their technique due to the demands of filming the show that made them famous. The show generated fury from the dance community, further isolating the girls from the opportunities they were working so hard to obtain. Find out why Abby was furious that Brandon and Diane appeared on the show, why Chloe didn’t appear in this episode, and the haunting specter of Abby’s starfish ring. Quotes “Child abductors are what I think of when I see those vans. Then I just think of ‘Dance Moms’ and I think, “Aghh!”(9:29-9:36 | Kelly) “You see me in an interview say that I’m not shocked that Cathy isn’t here, she picks and chooses what she goes to. Which is such bullshit. Every week it’s that!” (10:21-10:35 | Kelly) “I always tell people that doing a reality show is like walking through a haunted house: you don’t know what’s coming.” (23:52-23:58 | Christi) “Seeing Abby in a hotel room is like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs. It’s unnatural, it’s weird. It’s just weird to see her out of the dance studio.” (35:45-35:5 | Christi) “We all had a life before ‘Dance Moms,’ and in Season 1 we were definitely figuring out how to make it all work. We had dropped everything. My business was totally kaput, Kelly’s son was at home. We were all making these huge sacrifices.” (36:38-36:58 | Christi) “Brooke has the best line ever: ‘I think Brandon still likes me, but I’ve moved on. I’m not the same as I was when I was nine years old.’” (43:52-44:00 | Kelly) “Wouldn’t you like to see behind the scenes what Maddie has encountered between Melissa and Abby, if she doesn’t win? What has she endured behind the scenes from them? What do they say to her to cause her that much anxiety.”(1:07:38-1:07:58 | Diane) “It wouldn’t be ‘Dance Moms’ without Melissa crying at a solo.”(1:08:47-1:08:49 | Christi) “My daughter cannot buy anything with a star on it because of Abby’s starfish ring. There was this really pretty Dior bag with a beautiful star on it that Chloe wanted for Christmas. She said, ‘I can’t have that bag, I don’t want anything with a star, I have trauma from childhood about stars from that ring.’”(1:12:25-1:12:44 | Christi) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Steve's Back! | 25 Jul 2022 | 01:21:15 | |
On this episode of Back to the Barre, Kelly is operating with a broken hand. Without giving away any spoilers, it’s related to a pair of burst water boobs, and more loosely related to the time she fell into a manhole during filming. She and Christi are reviewing Episode 7 of Dance Moms, Titled “She’s a Fighter.” This was the first episode filmed since the show became a hit and was picked up for a new season, so everyone is about to head out on the road to film for the next six weeks. Their first stop is at a week-long competition which takes place at a casino, and so Abby expects everyone to pack a themed outfit for each day. Melissa discusses her relationship with her late mother, for whom Maddie is dancing in tribute. Abby continues to be unfair (and culturally insensitive) to Nia. It only serves to bring out Nia’s sweet nature, and what would become Holly’s trademark gracious indignation. Vivi continues to foil Cathy’s pretentiousness with her deadpan honesty. Abby’s studio continues to be an unsanitary “shithole,” and Kelly and Christi vow to mention it every episode. A recurring source of frustration while filming the show was that the moms didn’t get a chance to respond against false accusations–neither from Abby nor from producers. Abby accused them of not paying their bills, and production never showed the women’s response setting the record straight. During confrontations, Abby talked over everyone and walked out before anyone could get a word in. Kelly expresses sadness over the deterioration of her family’s long, close relationship with Abby. Christi says that the show would have been so different if it showed all the light moments they enjoyed, where the girls were just having fun. Join the party to find out why Melissa was always telling Maddie to go to the bathroom, why they had to wear the same clothes day after day, and what Holly carried in all of those big bags. Quotes “Holly was holding her bag again in Pyramid. I think she doesn’t want to leave it in the den because it’ll end up full of ants. I swear to God.” (13:49-13:59 | Christi) “Abby says, ‘I’m proud, and I don’t say that often.’ And we’re like, ‘You’re right, you don’t.’ And she’s also proud of the moms because we kept our mouths shut.” (15:00-15:09 | Christi) “And then we get the interview of Abby, and she’s glowing! And she says, ‘Maddie is doing a breathtakingly beautiful lyrical routine in a stunning white costume.’ I think she creamed her jeans.” (21:50-22:03 | Christi) “Remember she told me I wasn’t paying my bills? They always cut out our responses. My bill was paid a year in advance.”(28:53-29:04 | Kelly) “My cousin works for the police, and they were down there because they knew I was on the show, and they said that Abby was such a pain in the ass. She was always calling them there for stupid shit. They think she’s ridiculous.” (29:19-29:41 | Kelly) “Abby has her stack of papers. That is her move. She feels important when she comes in with her folder of papers. And she doesn’t let you speak first, she just goes at you, so you don’t have a chance to tell her what you think. She just goes at you with these papers. And when you’re responding to her, she just walks out.”(30:39-30:56 | Christi) “Vivi is a mood. All day, every day.”(35:01-35:04 | Christi) “Abby always asks why our kids look dumbfounded. It’s because they have to respond to dumb shit!” (36:43-36:49 | Christi) “Nobody else would have ever gone up to Abby while she was sleeping and put a gummy worm in her mouth, but my kids were close enough to her that they would do that kind of stuff because they had that kind of relationship. It’s just sad for me to see that we had that kind of relationship in Season 1 and then coming to 2 and 3, that ends. It’s sad.” (49:01-49:20 | Kelly) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Three Pound Lobsters | 18 Jul 2022 | 01:30:52 | |
Best friends Kelly and Christi are back! Today they are reviewing Episode 6 of their hit show Dance Moms called “Dying to Dance” (a title which they both agree is messed up.) It refers to the dance “Where Have All the Children Gone,” (which Christi nicknamed The Seven Dwarves of Suicide”) that the girls are performing this week, one of the most beloved by the company and viewers alike. Christi continues to point out more instances of “frankenbits,” where different moments of recording are spliced together to put words in people’s mouths, creating a false narrative for the audience. When they arrive at the competition, Brooke doesn’t have a costume. Cathy offers Brooke Vivianne’s but then takes it away only minutes before Brooke is scheduled to perform. Meanwhile, it’s Kelly’s 40th birthday, and at Cathy’s passive aggressive urging, the ladies all go to get Botox. The women later gather at Kelly’s house for a birthday celebration and though they never showed the fortune teller who came to the party, they did show Melissa telling the world that Kelly has never had an orgasm. Later, Abby’s dog Broadway Baby makes a cameo, and Christi and Kelly reveal that she used to feed the dog her own Nutrisystem meals and then tell everyone she lost three pounds. Christi gets bad news about her grandmother and she takes Chloe back to her childhood home. Join the party to hear about Kelly’s long lost golfing days, what she would like to ask Cathy now, and what “greeking” is. Quotes “Remember Abby said that she’s adding a little edge, because abduction is not edgy enough she had to add a suicide to it.” (22:02-22:06 | Christi) “Producers probably told Cathy to say something about my nose because they know I was really insecure about camera angles.” (43:04-43:11 | Christi) “Just so you guys know who ask, ‘How can Kelly who is such good friends with Christi not know about her sisters?’ I do not have a relationship with either of my sisters, so I don’t talk about them.” (45:02-45:10 | Christi) “That was the first time I said Spanx on TV, and honestly Spanx should have sponsored us for the amount of time we talked about them.” (45:39-45:45 | Christi) “You can tell when the days are long and who’s at the end of the interviews by how crazy we look.” (48:15-48:20 | Christi) “We always filmed at my house. And it was like, I have three kids, and filming all day, and you tell me when I’m leaving at 10:30 at night that you’re coming to my house at 8 in the morning. My son and my husband have been using it like a bachelor pad, so it’s a disaster. Ugh, I used to hate it. ” (49:16-49:35 | Kelly) “I’m not the most love-y, touchy, feely kind of person and they have me come over and hug you and try to console you and I’m thinking, ‘Oh, you’ve got the wrong girl for this.” (56:49-57:00 “ | Kelly) “Brooke probably knew…Usually the kids knew when something like us hugging and consoling was going on, sometimes it was bullshit. It wasn’t something major going on. At this point, your grandmother really was sick, but usually it wasn’t. So, the kids could have cared less what we were over there talking about, because they figured oh, it’s nothing.” (59:04-59:25 | Kelly) “When Chloe started dancing you can hear Paige in the background go, ‘Come on, Clover!’ If you watch any episode, Paige is always in the wings cheering her friends on. And then when they come on and off, she’s always hugging them. She’s the ultimate hype girl.” (1:04:15-1:04:35 | Kelly and Christi “When they leave Brooke is carrying Kenzie in the background, it’s cute. She says, “Come on, Kenz!’ and picks her up and carries her. You have to pay attention to the back, there’s a lot of cute stuff.” (1:19:13-1:19:23 | Christi) “I actually loved Candy Apple weeks because I knew Abby was going to leave me alone.” (1:23:56-1:24:01 | Christi) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| A Plethora of Headbands | 11 Jul 2022 | 01:12:11 | |
On this episode of “Back to the Barre,” Kelly and Christi discuss the girls learning the “Sugar Daddy” dance complete with its unruly props, while the mothers endure the humiliation of learning and performing a dance choreographed by Cathy. In between learning all the dances for the upcoming ALDC showcase, the girls also audition for a Broadway producer who is casting for the musical Annie. Christi gives some major backstory on the show when she explains that nearly half the clients in Abby’s studio left the summer before the show started, and Christi nearly did, too, as they were tired of Abby’s poor behavior. Shortly thereafter, though, Chloe was declared a national title holder, which meant she was forbidden from leaving her studio. As usual, Abby’s words and behavior contradict each other. She wants the girls to come to her and look up to her, but then she bullies them and pushes them away when they show her affection. Again, the girls are shown to be crying over petty things when actually, in footage that’s never shown, they are being bullied by Abby. Abby continues to make Nia feel bad for Holly’s absence, while Holly graduates from her PhD program. Find out which actor Kelly and Christi ran into while handing out flyers for the ALDC showcase, Kelly’s favorite dance that the girls did, and when Christi knew the show had become a hit. Quotes “The bullying is so apparent when you watch the show back. I saw it but I didn’t realize it.” (20:04-20:11 | Christi) “This is when I flip out and say ‘No one wants to see a bunch of fatass old moms on stage.’ I stand by that.” (30:03-30:10 | Christi) “Abby says she can’t be in the dance because of insurance. OK. I’m thinking maybe it was the video we saw of the purple leotard. I don’t think it was insurance reasons.” (55:37-55:46 | Kelly) “The gif of us toasting- I see this gif all the time. I promise you if you go on your phone and you put in ‘Dance Moms’ for gifs, this gif will come up. This gif is everywhere.” (36:37-36:50 | Christi) “People don’t realize how stressful it was for all of those kids. Brooke being injured, then McKenzie having a stomachache and Vivi saying her head hurts. It’s because they’re under so much stress. People just don’t understand what kind of stress those kids are under.” (52:00-52:17 | Kelly)
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| We Need Therapy | 27 Jun 2022 | 01:31:59 | |
“This is the least funny we’ve been, this is the least fun we’ve had, because this episode is hard to do,” Christi admits on the latest episode of Back to the Barre. The fourth episode of Dance Moms planted the seeds of years of misunderstanding. Here Christi and Kelly reveal behind-the-scenes elements of the story that reveal that the two were not, as many fans accused, crazy and jealous of the other children. They were simply demanding fairness for their daughters, both from Abby and the other mothers, and in the way their girls were being portrayed on the show. Both Cathy and Melissa demand and receive special treatment, with Cathy refusing to lend the kind of support and camaraderie she receives from the other mothers. Melissa makes sure that Maddie gets plenty of extra time to rehearse and attention from Abby despite performing a dance she already knows. This means that the other girls only have hours before a competition to learn their routines and get comfortable with their music. This results in Paige freezing and running off stage mid-performance. More infuriatingly, Cathy accuses the other mothers of ostracizing her, and Melissa accuses Christi of being willing to do anything for her daughter to win. Kelly plays a clip of the Lady Gaga song that Paige rehearsed to for months, and compares it to a clip of the song that Paige had to dance to in competition. Not only did the song have different beats, but none of the lyrics that informed major parts of the choreography were there. Christi explains the complicated history behind the infamous fight with Melissa. In later episodes, Kelly pulled Paige out of solos to spare her further humiliation, thus making her look demanding and petulant. This is the debut of Abby’s increasingly gaudy plastic jewelry, and Melissa’s acid washed floral jeans. Christi continues to regret the harsh overhead lighting they film under. While this episode is hard to bear, there are still plenty of lighthearted moments, as usual. Learn what the Moms were watching on their phones while waiting to go into the competition, what McKenzie said in an interview that made Melissa so mad, and the origins of putting your arms above your head and holding your breath when going under a bridge. Quotes “A lot of the dances were like, ‘Fuck your mother.’” (25:11-25:14 | Christi) “It’s not jealousy, it’s the inequity, or inequality of it. And we’re like, ‘OK, if this is the case, then fine, but don’t make it out like we’re crazy, because we’re not.’” (26:24-26:35 | Christi) “I love when people would always show up at the studio after the show premiered and they’d come in and say, ‘Oh! It’s smaller and dirtier than I thought it might be.’” (28:21-28:28 | Christi) “Did I want my daughter to win? Of course! We all wanted our kids to win. But I would look at those girls and think, why would I take away a chance for them? Chloe doesn’t need two.”(36:36-36:46 | Christi) “And this is my problem throughout the whole show is that we had to do things knowing that our kids were being set up. I sent my ten-year-old out there knowing that this was going to happen in front of millions of people on a television show, and there wasn’t a single thing I could do about it.”(1:07:27-1:07:49 | Kelly)
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Steve from Wine Fest | 20 Jun 2022 | 01:21:22 | |
“This is going to turn into a big fun party,” Christi says as she and Kelly marvel at how many people are enthusiastically embracing Back to the Barre, rediscovering their hit show ‘Dance Moms,’ and telling the two how much they’ve enjoyed hearing from them all these years later. The party continues as they review Episode Three of “Dance Moms” over drinks. In this episode, Abby is teaching the girls an acrobatics routine, and it’s Vivi’s turn to receive special attention from Abby. Abby and Kelly’s long and complicated history starts to surface and Abby tells Kelly’s children Brooke and Paige to not waste their lives like their mother. Christi and Kelly drink every time Abby appears in another one of her infamous headbands. Throughout the podcast, Kelly and Christi continue to set the record straight about long-standing fan questions and criticisms. They address why they didn’t schedule more privates, why they were late, the good reason for Brooke looking so miserable, and continue to critique each other’s old fashion moments. As reality show veterans now, they are able to put themselves in the minds of producers, and guess what random moments, like apple sauce exploding in a lunchbox, may have meant in terms of storyline (a foreshadowing of drama at Candy Apple Studios). This was the episode of Dance Moms where they all started to realize truly what they had signed up for. On this episode of Back to the Barre, the friends discuss Cathy’s nosiness, their thoughts on kids being kept in kennels, and what Christi considers the best line uttered in the history of reality TV. Quotes “It’s like we alternate weeks of who’s going to be tortured, me or you. Last week it was you, this week it’s me.” (4:54-5:01 | Kelly) “The lighting on me in that room is so good! It’s good lighting! Our lighting was always such shit and you could see into our pores! No wonder the Kardashians bring their own ring lights everywhere.” (12:13-12:34 | Christi) “When you’re on a reality show, you could be thinking something in your head and the audience never knows. So, you have to say it out loud so that they know what the storyline is.” (23:12-23:24 | Christi) “Abby has nothing to go home to! So how did I settle? I have a husband and a family to go home to and what does she have? When everybody leaves the studio, what does she have to go home to? She had her dog.” (28:03-28:16 | Kelly) “Why does Cathy want to know about our husbands? She doesn’t even know anything about us!” (32:42-32:46 | Kelly) “Everyone would say, ‘If you don’t like it, why don’t you get more privates?’ We tried! We couldn’t get them because Melissa was the one scheduling them.”(34:47-34:56 | Christi) “Again, first three episodes, I don’t know why anyone would like me, because so far, I’ve just been a nasty bitch the whole time.”(40:07-40:12 | Christi) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Boil on the Butt of Humanity | 17 Jun 2024 | 00:53:51 | |
"Crabapples? I wonder how many things we can say that's not Candy Apples? We really go for it." observes Christi as the second half of "Clash of the Dance Moms" boils down to quite a lot of name calling and not much else. This week the ALDC is competing at Believe National Talent Competition in Lancaster, PA with Payton and Leslie filling in for the Hylands. Leslie is gunning for a permanent position, dragging Kelly's name through the mud every chance she gets and keeps reminding eveyroen to imagine a world in which she's a permanent ALDC fixture. While the insults to Kelly are music to Abby's ears, the rest of the ALDC unsurprisingly feels different as the only thing Payton brings to the table is sass, and they already don't need more of that! Even Abby's patiences gets tested by Payton's when the young dancer is revealed to be unprepared with her costuming, something Kelly and her girls rarely ever dropped the ball on. Anthony and Cathy continue to bicker over in the Candy Apples camp. Anthony threatens to leave if Cathy doesn't give him his space, he wants to insult her dancers as he sees fit. The show brings out Anthony's mother to admonish all those who would insult her son for his actions, expertly ignoring how vitriolic he is to everyone else. If there's one thing in Season 3 that continues to be annoying above all else it's Anthony being cruel and suffering no consequences for it! Tune-in to find out which fight this week was A LOT more tense in-person. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Kelly's Banana Clip | 13 Jun 2022 | 01:21:00 | |
Best friends Christi and Kelly are back to discuss episode two of their hit series ‘Dance Moms,’ where the daughters head to Lancaster, Pennsylvania to perform their “Electricity” number. The moms are as concerned as ever about the age-appropriateness of their daughters’ dance moves and outfits, especially in religiously-conservative Lancaster, PA. Abby is overstepping her bounds and confusing her role as dance teacher with a role as parent. Though Kelly and Christi are the only two to be seen complaining about it, there is resentment among all the moms about the special praise and attention lavished on Maddie, and the pressure it puts on the other girls. Sewing the girls’ costumes before competitions was a job–and a source of drama– unto itself. Tune into this week’s episode to hear about the debut of Abby’s infamous flip flip tee-shirt, and the exclusive stories that never made it to air, like what Cathy threw at Christi, and why Abby called Kelly white trash. Quotes “All the little girls who were our kids' age are now watching as young adults and they all like us moms now. Whereas Before, they only liked the kids..” (5:03-5:10- Christi) “Abby says we as moms live through our kids and that we shouldn’t go to the competitions. And the kids should do what she says, not what their mom says. Who tells a kid that?”(13:55-14:11 | Kelly) “Abby says that when kids from other studios come to her studio, no one knows terminology and I do agree with that. She definitely taught terminology.” (46:39-46:50 | Kelly) “That is legit. Abby used to do it on Sunday nights when there were no cameras around, and we would be coming home and all of us would be on the bus ready to kill ourselves, and she would be screaming at the bus driver for going in the wrong direction.”(1:03:10-1:03:20 | Christi) “It was only episode two and Abby already wanted us gone.” (1:15:28-1:15:31- | Kelly) Links
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| Just the Two Bitches Are Left | 03 Jun 2022 | 01:19:27 | |
“People always wanted to see more of us,” says Christi Lukasiak, one of the breakout stars on Lifetime’s long-running hit reality dance show “Dance Moms.” Eleven years after the show’s 2011 debut, she and Kelly Hyland, best friends and fan-favorite duo, are giving the people what they want by reacting to the show’s pilot episode “The Competition Begins.” With glasses of wine in hand, they relive the show’s most famous scenes, offer insider memories and trivia, and fill in what was often the chasm between reality and reality TV. While the audience watched their young daughters master and perform intricate choreography as members of Abby Lee Miller’s dance studio in Pittsburgh, Christi and Kelly, along with the other moms on the show, were subject to their own choreography of sorts behind the scenes. As normal suburban moms, they were unprepared for how much of the show was fabricated and subject to multiple takes, how differently they and their children would be portrayed on TV, and how much criticism they would receive from viewers for the silliest things. On this episode of Back to the Barre, Christi and Kelly set the record straight, address longrunning questions they’ve received from fans over the years, and decide which, if any, of their outfits they would ever wear again. Quotes “The thing that I think is the most fun, or the part that’s really interesting is that we lived it. So there’s so much that we can talk about that people never saw.” (2:30-2:40 | Christi) “I do think that’s one of the reasons why the show was really successful, because it wasn’t in New York or L.A. We were just normal Pittsburgh people.” (11:08-11:18 | Christi) “What people don’t realize is when we were in pyramid, it’s three seconds on the show, but it took us hours and hours to film.” (15:26-15:36 | Kelly) “It was just to humiliate us. She just needed a reason to humiliate us.”(19:23-19:27 | Kelly) “That was our first big red flag of editing mistakes. Where did that come from? That wasn’t there when we were filming.” (23:48-23:56 | Christi and Kelly) “And that was my first real ‘Holy shit. People are going to hate us for stupid reasons’ moment.” (30:24-30:30 | Christi) “That’s what they always did and it made Paige look like a crybaby. Meanwhile she was tortured….But they don’t show that.” (40:17-40:29 | Kelly) “When I talk to people they say, ‘Oh, Abby was so mean.’ I’m thinking to myself, ‘Are you kidding me?! You think she’s that mean and they only showed ten minutes of it?” 40:35-40:47 | Kelly) “That’s what was so hard a lot of the time for me–the way she treated my kids. She was like my family. Her mom and her would come to Paige and Brooke’s baptisms and communions and things. And then you treat them like that and not care about their feelings.” (43:33-43:52 | Kelly) “I always thought Brooke had an unfair edit because I think that Brooke is way more fun than they ever showed her to be. And she was always the most caring. She always took care of those kids, and they just showed her as the miserable little bitch.” (46:34:46:47 | Christi and Kelly) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Be Careful What You Wish For | 10 Jun 2024 | 01:02:36 | |
"We're not going to lose to that evil woman. I'm the only evil woman in your life. Well that's for sure." jokes Kelly while enjoying the fact she's still in exile during this week's episode. As "Clash of the Dance Moms" kicks off Abby is makes her disdain for Kelly's absence abundantly clear as Paige and Brooke are slotted at the bottom of the pyramid. With Kelly unable to criticize Abby, attention turns to Holly who is upset at Nia's middling placement on the Pyramid. Holly says she believes Nia is not receiving the attention from Abby that she needs to excel the way Abby insists that she wants, though Abby's attention is a double edged sword and our Bitches wonder if Holly isn't quite thinking through what might happen. This week's competition pits the ALDC against Cathy and Abby is taking no chances. For the group dance Abby gets ambitious and choreographs a piece entitled "Open Waters" which will require a prop shoreline that the girls will have to dance around. If they're not going to use it why bother with the stress of it? The creative direction leaves the moms somewhat in the cold, and Kelly's absence continues to add to the confusion of the group direction. To fill in the Kelly filled-hole in the group, Abby brings in Leslie and her daughter Payton, which of course "excites" everyone! But with Black Patsy back on the Candy Apples side, it might be useful to have a little Leslie in your corner. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Take that Solo and Shove It | 03 Jun 2024 | 01:35:33 | |
"We're not three minutes in and I want to puke," groans Christi as Dance Moms moves away from recaps and back into the thick of it with "Recital Rebellion". It's time once again for the annual ALDC recital and, in the intervening weeks since filming, it seems that something has gone amiss because even before Pyramid begins its clear everyone is on edge. No one more-so than Kelly, who is immediately greeted with Paige being placed at the bottom of the Pyramid for a minor error. When Kelly points out Maddie wouldn't have been held to such a standard, Abby punishes Paige by making her the only child who has to learn a new solo for the recital. This outrages Kelly as it's a clear attack against her daughter, but Abby won't budge. Consequently Kelly pulls her daughters from the recital, resulting in Abby staging a scene demanding another child take Paige's place, which nobody wants to do (so of course she has Maddie take it). Admits the prep for the recital Abby gifts the girls pieces from her new clothing line. Christi notes this is less of a gift and more of "Free Abby Promotion" with the girls as her billboards. The girls in turn also compete for the cover of Dance Track Magazine, which despite Abbys best efforts to skew the costume choices, doesn't go to a Ziegler for once! Plus can Jill make Pyramid with her own recital performance? Tune-in to find out! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| 87 Shots of Wine | 20 May 2024 | 00:50:14 | |
"We want to know how long it's going to take for somebody to come and try and arrest us. Wouldn't that be hysterical if we got arrested here? It would be a full circle moment and obviously about a decade in the making," our lovely Bitches observe as they reunite in person for a visit back to the old ALDC studio (wine bottle in hand and 100% not trespassing in any way) to cover Season 3's "Abby's So Far This Season..." Yes, it's yet another another recap episode! Why wasn't this aired after the Chatter episodes instead of just one episode after resuming normal episodes? Your guess is as good as ours! These episodes aren't notoriously well liked, but this one does offer the rare opportunity to see extended dance sequences in full, which includes some of Paige's best moves that Lifetime never bothered showing the first time around. Quotes
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| No More Recess! | 13 May 2024 | 01:24:24 | |
“This next scene is genuinely one of the wildest scenes I’ve ever seen on television. I cannot believe the words that are going to come out of Melissa’s mouth,” notes Christi as Abby's long not-awaited return to the ALDC heralds just as much drama as one would fear on "Tap Versus Hip Hop". If Pyramid weren't enough to dredge back up the Chloe loosing to Maddie debacle from the previous competition, Abby once again pits the two girls against one another with dueling solos. While Maddie gets a tap number that plays to her strengths, Chloe gets saddled with a Hip hop dance that is practically doomed form the get-go. The moms fume over Melissa's betrayal of their oath not to let their kids appear of AUDC, but Melissa plays dumb and acts as if anyone would have accepted the offer. Christi flys a little to close to the sun with her insults and brings out the worst in Melissa, who starts making outlandish claims about how the other moms treat her children. Melissa often finds success by getting on Abby's good side, but when Maddie underperforms ever so slightly at competition, it becomes clear that Melissa has a limit to what she'll tolerate. Quotes
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| Rejecting Abby's World | 06 May 2024 | 00:59:33 | |
“You get so much accomplished without ever moving all that much. God he keeps bringing that up!” Christi and Kelly note as even the guests struggle to breath life into "Dance Moms Chatter: Part 2". Although Abby is still in LA filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she stuck around long enough for a sit down talk with Melissa, Jeff, guest comedian Alec Mapa and blogger Nadine Rajabi. But unlike last week where the producers could bring out Black Patsy and showcase drama clips in an attempt to enrage Chrisiti and Kelly into beefing, they can't go after Abby! What remains is the guests attempting to drum up some fun with pre-scripted humor, which just can't compare to that off-the-cuff savagery of our Bitches! No attempts are made to engage with Abby's behavior or question Melissa at all. Instead we're presented with such colorful conversations as whose the worst dressed, which results in Abby somehow picking Kelly!? Even Christi will be the first to admit she dressed much worse than Kelly, and that's not even mentioning Jill! Quotes
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| A Special Message from Us | 29 Apr 2024 | 00:01:59 | |
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| Say Amen, Christi | 22 Apr 2024 | 01:09:51 | |
"My obnoxious level in this episode escalates very quickly," notes Christi as before "Dance Moms Chatter Part 1" can even begin she's already pretty drunk. But in a rare occurrence, Christi and Kelly don't have to hide their booze in coffee cups because this week, martini glasses are out in the open! With Jeff Collins moderating it's clip-show week on Dance Moms with special guests Patsy, internet blogger Nadine Rajabi and comedian Lisa Arch. Christi is famously not a fan of these episodes as it served as little more than an excuse to get replay value out of their fights and trauma, but this week at least it appears Christi simply was too drunk. The amount of "Amen to that!" coming from Christi is enough to make anyone cringe, but especially Christi. Segments include a Dance Moms trivia contest between the guests, with Jeff shilling out all of $10 for the winner! Plus what would a Jeff Collins hosted talk show be without some classic Jeff "comedy". We also get some quality hot-takes, like who Patsy thinks the biggest crybaby is on Dance Moms. However, do Christi and Kelly find themselves wishing they had made more of a connection with Patsy? Could she have been the ally against Abby they needed all along? Also is Kelly wearing Christi's clothes!? Quotes
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| A Manly Bunny | 15 Apr 2024 | 01:25:07 | |
"I could watch a 24 hour live stream of the shit that Cathy and Vivi talk about," remarks Christi as Season 3's "No Room for Rotten Apples" is another Cathy-centric episode. It's not the most eventful of affairs as the producers even included an inordinate amount of dance footage this week to compensate, but what is there is... deeply weird. For example: Cathy puts Vivi in charge of cataloguing her entire collection of ceramic bunnies. Why? Who knows! Cathy introduces The Apple Tree, her Cathy-themed replacement for Pyramid, and Jalen and Mari are squarely at the bottom. If they don't shape up during this week's competition in Columbus, Cathy is threatening to remove one of them from the team. Why does she need to cut anyone though? She has an ideal seven kids to match Abby, is this a production developed conflict? To make the conflict extra needless, Cathy insists that Jalen perform his first contemporary and triple pirouette, something Jalen isn't remotely ready to pull off. The undue extra attention on Jalen's teaching starts to upset Mari's mother, who is worried her daughter will be comparatively unprepared for her solo. It's up to Anthony to prep them both, but the best he can do is give Mari a literal panic attack! Meanwhile Abby continues filming for Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, bringing Maddie out to LA to perform a solo. But where is the rest of the ALDC? Tune-in to find out how Maddie really ended up solo. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Foreshadowing Kelly's Life | 19 Aug 2024 | 00:58:46 | |
"Jersey Shore is not doing this shit. Teen Mom is not doing this shit. No, the Dance Moms are. Housewives they would never!" Christi notes as there really is no other show on TV that would make someone unbox a stuffed Broadway Baby, who makes their grand return to haunt all those who lay eyes on it. This week we jump ahead just a little bit to the first half of the "Dance Moms Care Special", which aired during Season 4 but was filmed immediately after Nationals. You can tell it was filmed right after Nationals because Christi is nowhere to be found, still enjoying some time on the beach while Abby decided last-minute to enter the ALDC into an Atlantic City competition to support the fight against breast cancer. It's a topic that hits close to home for Abby whose mother has been battling cancer for some time. The moms agree to take a mammogram for the program, the results of which are eerily predictive given Kelly's current diagnosis. We'd like to use this opportunity to remind all of you that preventative treatment is the answer, please get checked-up! Maddie is presented with a solo entitled "Maddie" that's a tribute to... well Maddie. It's truly the zenith of Abby's favoritism towards Maddie, enough so that Jill seems to finally catch on! Elsewhere Leslie continues to try and stir up trouble with the other moms, determined to make the most of Payton's limited time as Chloe's replacement on the team. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Live from Ohio University | 08 Apr 2024 | 01:13:52 | |
On this special episode of Back to the Barre, Christi and Kelly invite you to join them live from Mom's Weekend at Ohio University for a moderated Q&A in front of a nearly 1000 person crowd! With so many great questions from both the moderators and the audience, it only seemed fit to share them with our little Bitchettes as we're certain you've all been dying to ask some of these questions yourself! Like what do Christi and Kelly think of the Jojo Siwa rebranding? Do they care about the Jojo Siwa rebranding? Do they even really know Jojo Siwa? There are also many non-Jojo Siwa related questions that are certain to spill the tea you're searching for. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Candy Apple Land | 01 Apr 2024 | 01:33:27 | |
“You were in Aruba and I had to work on my vacation, so I deserved a coffee cup,” Kelly says as she reflects on how unfair it was that even though the moms were ostensibly promised time off while Abby was filming Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition, she still got stuck being a stooge for the production this week while Christi enjoyed some R&R. Season 3's "An Apple a Day Keeps Abby Away" doesn't quite shake the ALDC entirely, but it's a Candy Apples centric episode this week as the producers see if Cathy might be able to sustain her own spin-off (spoilers she didn't). The episode begins with Abby in Los Angeles searching for a new location for her LA studio. Not content to leave the moms with nothing to do, she send Kelly, Jill and Holly to spy on Cathy's team in order to see what she's up to. Cathy meanwhile is bringing on new talent to try and round out her team with recruits Hadley Walts, Mari Dudash and Campbell Reynolds. We also see the return of Nicaya and Black Patsy, who are ready to go toe to toe with the ALDC once more. It's a volatile mix of people that the producers hope will lead to some drama, or at the very least Black Patsy assaulting Jill's nose? Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Two Girls, One Cup | 25 Mar 2024 | 01:11:38 | |
“This is like Top of the Pyramid for Suckular behavior,” says Christi as things really do suck on "Two Girls, One Solo". First of all, what sicko thought it was ok to name the episode THAT!? There are children here! Second, this episode is easily in Christi's Top 3 worst Dance Mom experiences so you know it's a rough one. Abby preps the next "powerful" group number, one that's dedicated to those living with cancer. It's a subject she cares about deeply, having lost her father to cancer. It hits especially close to home for Melissa who also lost her mother... but for some reason the show also wants to convince you that Kelly's dad died as well? Is this about Kelly's fight with Christi somehow? Meanwhile Abby decides to pit Maddie and Chloe against each other by giving them the same solo to perform. Christi notes this isn't fair to Chloe who isn't receiving secret training the way Maddie is, but Abby could care less. When Abby's little ploy doesn't go as planned, she takes matters into her own hands. Tune-in to hear the full story of what the cameras didn't show. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| The World’s Biggest Squirrel | 18 Mar 2024 | 01:02:23 | |
What could have ticked Kelly off enough to once say, “I always knew in the back of my head that the day would come where Christ would stab me in the back, and you know what? She did...”? If you ask either Kelly or Christi now they'd be hard pressed to give you an answer! It's time once again for Christi and Kelly to be fighting one another for some reason as the second half of "Boy Crazy, Mom Crazy" just about has everyone up in arms. Jill still believes Kelly is taking the opportunity Abby has given Brooke for granted, but Kelly is still worried about what Abby has in store for her daughter. What she might not have expected was Abby setting Brooke up on a date with her fellow senior dancer Kevin. For all the talk about "No Boys Allowed", Abby sure seems to love to make exceptions. Jill also starts a spat with Cathy as the ALDC arrives at competition, which only manages to worsen Cathy's already fragile state as Anthony has continued to increase tensions over at their own studio. Mickey is strongly considering transferring Gino to the ALDC, and Cathy could seemingly care less whether any of her dancers stick around. But how do Jill and Kelly end up fighting? Are these Bitches still going on about not calling that one time? Somethings never change it seems, though stick around for a rare moment of Abby being unambiguously nice for once! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Descent into Ugly | 11 Mar 2024 | 01:46:06 | |
“I’m ready to shoot myself” is not something you want to hear aloud too often, but this week our beloved Bitches find themselves repeating that A LOT as they struggle to get through what might the first episode to really push them over the edge. "Boy Crazy, Mom Crazy" is such a wild episode that this recording managed to be almost two hours long and we still only managed to cover half the episode! Abby is unsurprisingly upset with the ALDC after losing again to Cathy and spends Pyramid calling Kendall a crybaby, pretending Nia mad a ton of mistakes for some reason, and somehow complimenting Brooke but still placing her on the bottom. She singles out Paige with praise for standing up to Cathy and Anthony... even though Abby made her do that and still somehow victim blames her for letting it happen? Abby assigns Brooke to the Senior Group to join their upcoming performance. Kelly worries Brooke is being set-up to fail as Brooke hasn't received the same year of prep the rest of the group has had. Jill takes offense to Kelly being "ungrateful" and tattles to Abby about it! And yet somehow Kelly and Christi are the ones who end up in a huge fight about it?! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| We’re Not Boob Jealous | 04 Mar 2024 | 01:26:33 | |
"On a regular Dance Moms episode you drink on a scale from one to five. A reunion is a one to ten scale," says Christi as the Bitches start the 2nd Part of Season 3's reunion special "Tell All". While it might be a pretty easy episode for Christi herself, there's still enough Abby depravity to go around! Kristie Ray joins the discussion and goes on the offensive, taking the other moms to task for complaining about Asia crying. This is confusing to Jill as she professes that none of the moms care that Asia cries, only that they think it's weird it's being showcased as something to be ashamed of and that Asia isn't being held to the same standards as their own children. Abby and Kristie respond to the by calling Chloe a crybaby! Soon Cathy joins the mix and things get heated quickly. Paige opts out of her solo performance so she can avoid dancing in front of Cathy, leading Kelly to take Cathy to task for her recent conduct at competition. Cathy can barely manage to defend herself before getting into an argument with Abby. Professionally speaking Abby doesn't handle it well. Tune-in to see what nice words Abby has for Cathy's mother! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Whoopi Heals | 26 Feb 2024 | 01:17:13 | |
“This is not an opportunity to set the record straight, HERE is the opportunity now 10 years later to set the record straight,” explains Christi as even when the moms got to explain themselves, they were never REALLY allowed to. Consequently there's no hell for our Bitches quite like a Dance Mom's Reunion episode, and Season 3's "Tell All" is a two parter to make matters worse. It's always an excuse to get everyone riled up, and it riles these moms still a decade later. From the awkward stools the moms had to sit on to the bizarre choices made by hair and make-up, Christi and Kelly each despised the experience. Yet they also somehow managed to completely forget they fought in this episode, and over the same old-nothing argument they'd had earlier this season no less! Well... at least the girl's dances this week were pretty good? Things get off to a rocky start with Abby immediately gunning for both Christi and Kelly, though saving her worst remarks for Chloe that contain a level of indecency that remain unmatched. Melissa and Jill receive softball questions, but Abby chastises Melissa for not allowing her wedding to be public and filmed for the show. Meanwhile Holly discusses Abby's fashion advice, which she admits is genuinely good. It's funny that Abby can't seem to take her own fashion advice, but at least she isn't dressed as badly as Cathy! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Cracker Barrel Hostess | 19 Feb 2024 | 01:22:27 | |
“God, the first statement [of the episode] irritated me” says Kelly as she straps in for "The Mother of All Specials", Dance Mom's own Mother's Day celebration. For a show with plenty of moms you'd imagine the producers could focus in on pretty much any one of them, and yet this is an Abby centric episode. As Abby says, "Whom knows more about being a mother than Abby Lee Miller?" As these Bitches would like to point out, Abby does not have kids! But Abby does have her own mother, Maryen Lorrain Miller, whom she heads out to visit as clips about motherhood from previous seasons play out with new Abby "insights". We would sincerely like to know how much Abby was paid to say nice things, as she laboriously details how caring of a pseudo-mother she has been to the girls of the ALDC. She reframes past events where she was paid to be nice as signs of her benevolence, yet still manages too sprinkle a few insults towards Brooke in there. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| I'd Rather Be a Whole Apple | 12 Feb 2024 | 00:47:47 | |
"How does Abby get to call him an ass like that and then acted shocked when he responds back," wonders Christi as things begin to go downhill fast on the second half of "Candy Apple Showdown". With the ALDC arriving at the Masters of Dance Art Invitational, Kelly preps for what remains one of her worst Dance Mom memories. Things get off to a rocky start with Cathy and Vivi M.I.A., so Abby has to start taunting Cathy's Dance Dads instead. But Dance Dad Rick's aggressive response to these gestures proves to be the first of many heated confrontations. Not too long after, Anthony accuses Christi of touching Candy Apples's props and gets a little too handsy. By the time Cathy returns she's making loudly clear with Anthony how poorly she believes Paige is performing during the Kids With Guns group number. Abby, overhearing these jabs, decides to make a spectacle of the situation and informs Paige directly what they were saying about her, and encourages her to stand up for herself. It's a sad state of affairs this week; certainly going to need more than three beers for this episode. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| It’s About Fun, Stop Crying! | 05 Feb 2024 | 01:16:14 | |
Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod “This is a drinky episode,” says Christi as she announces drink four only three lines into the first page of the "Candy Apple Showdown" notes. Though Bitch #1 and #2 are both incapable of drinking along this week, unfortunately for them this hulking two hours of an episode was just too much for one sitting, so they best prep themselves for when things get really dicey because The ALDC is back up against Cathy's Candy Apples and things are already off to a bumpy start. Abby's stint hosting The View was fun, but it cut into group rehearsal time with competition only days away. So Abby's focus is of course solos, no need to get that potentially controversial "Kids with Guns" group dance in order! With everyone focusing on solos, Kelly takes Brooke to a music producer to start getting a leg up on her career. Afterwards the moms take all the girls out for ice skating in the city, but ice skating is one of Abby's explicitly prohibited activities and the fallout is something none of the kids want, but comply after undue pressure from the moms (Melissa even makes Maddie cry!). Meanwhile tensions are growing between Kristie Ray and the other moms. First she doesn't allow Asia to skate with the girls and then she starts picking fights with Christie?! Even Cathy's camp is getting into shouting matches with one another! There's only one outcome to all this and it ain't looking pretty. Quotes
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| Season 3 Nationals... Over at Last! | 12 Aug 2024 | 00:52:05 | |
"Those kids on that team want to beat you! Yeah I kind of think thats what happens when everyone there wants to beat you." On the second half of "The Big, Not So, Easy", its finally time for the ALDC and the Candy Apples to go head to head. "Coincidently" both teams show up at the same time, and the Candy Apples take up the opportunity to throw some shade over their missing members. Undeterred, the girls go out to give it their best. Mackenzie goes first with Dance Doctor, with the aim of retaking her title from the previous year. She does exceptionally well, but to the shock of both Abby and Melissa she fails to take first place. We don't get to see the child who did win, but Melissa assures the audience it was a phenomenal dance (though as Christi and Kelly point out, it was very unlikely Melissa saw that performance at all). Following her is Kendall with VooDoo Doll, and while she pulls it off with grace, the number was clearly choreographed with Chloe in mind and falls short of overtaking Maddie, who stuns with Amazing Grace for first. It all comes down to the ALDC group number Home Again and Candy Apple's entree VooDoo. The results of who won may not be surprising if you see the clear signals the show puts out, but Christi and Kelly's opinion of who should have won may surprise you! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Levitate, Levitate, Levitate! | 29 Jan 2024 | 01:38:18 | |
"The foot is done!" exclaims both Christi and Kelly as the arduous Mackenzie's Broken Foot Saga finally comes to a close. After all, would Melissa let Mackenzie's foot stay broken if it meant not getting to dance on The View? On Season 3's "The View From the Top", the ALDC hits New York for a special appearance on The View that is being guest hosted by Abby, all the while prepping for Masters of Dance Art Invitational the following day. In short the group needs to learn and rehearse five routines in two days time while combating Abby's ever inflating ego (one of those days is for The View so technically make that one day). The Mackenzie vs Asia rivalry hits a breaking point for Melissa when it seems, even if just for a moment, that Abby might choose Asia over her daughter for The View performance. Setting aside the ridiculous notion that Abby would ever let that happen, the possibility does make Melissa feel momentarily that she too could be treated like a Hyland or a Lukasiak. Between Kristie Ray's thank you card, Abby's weird threatening speech to Mackenzie and Melissa's pleading, it's a lot of spilled milk in one episode for a conflict that as our Bitches have repeatedly made clear is very obviously going to end with Mackenzie performing on The View! Meanwhile, Cathy is holding auditions to fill out her Candy Apples team in preparation for the New York Invitational. Her hopes to land a new boy on the team hit a snag when only one boy shows up for the audition! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Disservice | 22 Jan 2024 | 01:07:10 | |
"Do you want to vomit on her, or do you want to vomit on her?” asks Christi as things are as painful as ever on "May I Have This Dance". After coming in second yet again, Abby is fed up with everyone (but Maddie) and is starting to get particularly cruel with her comments during Pyramid (of course except for Maddie). Paige's treatment of the flag was supposedly so bad that she did "a disservice to this country," meanwhile Maddie was so good that Abby dubs her "America the Beautiful". It's a new level of awful that certainly caused no psychological damage whatsoever! Abby somewhat cheers up when she gets the call that she's been asked to co-host an episode of The View with an ALDC performance. The only person more excited than Abby about this news is Melissa, who franticly tries to make Mackenzie presentable as completely healed from her damaged foot and ready to dance. This strikes the moms and even Abby as suspicious, so Asia instead practices with the group for The View, but that won't keep Melissa from doing everything she can to get Mackenzie a spot in that line-up. In the meantime the girls are set to perform at Energy in Ohio, and Maddie has been "promoted" to co-choreographer and won't be joining in the group dance. Abby claims this is to teach the group self reliance so they don't just follow Maddie, but the moms point out that the girls are always being told to follow Maddie's lead! It wouldn't be a Dance Mom's lesson without contradictions! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Humping the Hula Hoop | 15 Jan 2024 | 00:58:11 | |
"Life is just a lesson," remarks Christi, "My Instagram bio literally says I make mistakes...some are on TV." At least she can be assured that on the second half of "The Politics of Dancing" the only one making mistakes as per usual is Abby, who is determined to pit the kids against one another no matter the cost. As the ALDC arrives in Philadelphia for Powerhouse Dance Invitational, Abby is already setting the girls up for failure. The group number "Free the People" requires the girls to dress in American Flag regalia, which means the moms have to get creative with their costume sourcing as they know if they cut-up a real American flag the controversy the producers are hoping for will be unbearable. Plus Abby wants the girls to vote between Maddie and Chloe over who performs the best solo (like it's a democracy?). Abby believes this will encourage the girls to do better, but the results might as well be a foregone conclusion considering Maddie is always given the best choreography. It's just an excuse to make Chloe feel bad because Christi won't kiss Abby's ass. Asia and Christi continue to be a thorny presence for the rest of the group since... well that's why they were brought on the show! Though the other girls clearly like Asia, she isn't reprimanded for crying or messing up choreography as every other girl would be. It's enough to rile up both Jill and Kelly, who call out the double standard but are framed as coming after a young child. It's just Abby's world and they're suffering in it. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Cringing Over Props | 08 Jan 2024 | 01:16:28 | |
Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code [BARRE] at LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod "You are 15 you piece of shit," is not exactly what Abby said to Brooke, but Christi couldn't have summed up the mood better as Abby froths at the mouth after losing to Cathy. As "The Politics of Dancing" begins, Abby is already throwing everyone under the bus, except for newcomer Asia whom Abby claims is upstaging the rest of the girls and putting them in their place (despite the fact Asia took first with non-Abby choreography and the girls did relatively fine in competition). To showcase her new star, Abby designs a patriotic group number that will feature Asia prominently waving an American flag. But as any Dance Mom will tell you, nothing scares them more than the dreaded "prop". Could Abby's pro-Asia stance be one prop fumble away from ending? Melissa meanwhile is focused on getting her children homeschooled, with the aim of letting the kids have more time to practice dance. While Holly preaches the importance of education, as far as the show is concerned it's dancing first and school second. It doesn't make much difference to Mackenzie, however, as she's still sidelined with a bad foot. How will her rivalry with Asia ever get off the ground if she can't? Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Loading Abby's Tears | 25 Dec 2023 | 00:47:08 | |
“Somebody has to fight with her,” remarks Kelly as we go through the motions of introducing Kristie Ray into the mom group on the second half of "Watch Your Back, Mack". Even though the moms (and especially our bitches) are on their best behaviors, tensions still seem to mount as Kristie begins to try and push the mom's every button. Though the show implies Melissa should be the one worried as Asia is being held up as the Mackenzie replacement, Melissa could seemingly care less and it's up to the other moms to pick up the dramatic slack. From Jill getting technical about who gets to sit where on the bus to Kristie trying to share some welcoming advice, new Kristie is having none of it and seems to be here solely to stir up the pot. More distressing to our moms however is that Cathy's team has come more than prepared to wipe the floor with the ALDC at this week's competition. Mackenzie is still out of circulation due to increasingly absurd foot problems, and the group dance doesn't offer much in the way of innovation or pizzaz. In fact the theme of the group dance theme reincarnation still comes off as confusing at best, indecipherable at worst. With Cathy's team running a well oiled machine under the tutelage of Abby's friend John, it might not be obvious to Abby quite yet but this is not going to be the best week for the ALDC. Also enjoy Christi and Kelly's attempt to go full Zapruder-film breakdown as they try (and somewhat succeed?) in studying footage of Abby's in-real-time breakdown towards the end of the episode. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Build-A-Broadway Baby | 18 Dec 2023 | 00:55:47 | |
"You know what I’m going to do? I’m going to postmates a drink," Christi jokes as she's booze-less going into what may be one of the strangest episodes of Dance Moms yet. Season 3's "Watch Your Back, Mack" is most notable for the introduction of Asia Monet Ray, the newest member of the ALDC and a former competitor on Abby's Ultimate Dance Competition. But to these bitches it will always be best remembered for one of Abby's truly unhinged decision to get her dearly departed Broadway Baby stuffed and displayed! Where was Abby storing the body for so many months? Why does she not think this is creepy and insane? Why did Melissa recommend it to here?! But Asia's presence, and by extension her mother Kristie's presence, is of more concern to Jill who is worried about the outsiders coming in (getting a little taste of her own medicine). Abby is setting up Asia to directly compete with Mackenzie in the hopes their rivalry will encourage them both to improve. Will Abby's method of trial by fire work out in the end? Has it ever? Abby better hope it does as she'll be facing off against Cathy once more at Energy Dance, and the Wicked Witch is feeling extra wicked this week. Cathy is prepared to make Abby eat her words and hires one of Abby's own choreography friends as a ringer to put the ALDC in their place. Mackenzie might not be the only one who has to look out for her competition. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Special Episode: After Party 2 | 11 Dec 2023 | 00:34:12 | |
Due to techimical difficulties, we're replacing this week's epsiode with two bonus After Party episodes. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Special Episode: After Party 3 | 11 Dec 2023 | 00:26:23 | |
Due to technical difficulties, this week's episode is being replaced by two After Parties. Enjoy! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Bite a Bat with Paigey Mack | 04 Dec 2023 | 01:38:13 | |
“In a 30 second span, two of the most iconic Dance Moms moments happen back to back,” Christi exclaims as "She's a Maniac" has those and more iconic moments to spare. To mark the occasion (and to celebrate one of her few episodes where she doesn't suffer) the Bitches welcome Paige Hyland to the Barre! Abby brings in Broadway dancer Rachelle Rak to choreograph the Golddigga group number. It's a not too subtle jab at Melissa, who was just secretly married, but it sure is fun to have to explain what a Gold Digger is to the kids! Perhaps more pressing is whether Abby will be able to square away her desire for control with Rak's non-Maddie centric choreography. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Follow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertes Follow Paige on IG: https://www.instagram.com/paigehyland1 Follow Paige on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@paigehyland_3 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Inappropriate Since Four | 27 Nov 2023 | 01:04:48 | |
"I can’t drink I’ll die!" laments Christi as she nurses a migraine while trying to still overcome the fact Jill really seemed like she wanted Kendall to play Rosa Parks. It's the second half of "The Apple of Her Eye" and it's time for Power House Dance Competition where the ALDC is up against Cathy's boys once more, and this time losing to Cathy isn't an option. The last time Abby went head to head with Cathy, it ended in a water bottle fight and plenty of screaming, something neither Cathy or Abby is going to let the other forget. Cathy hires "bodyguards" to keep her safe and Abby taunts her for purse assault (despite the fact that Abby started it). But it all comes down to who bests who on the stage, and the ALDC brings their A-game. There are mishaps to be had on both sides however, and Kelly consequently has some very unkind words for Jalen that may cross a few lines. But will it cross as many lines as Paige and Chloe's outfits? For Christi and Kelly, they might just have to cross a line to put into words just how shocking those outfits even were! Also remember, today is your last day to order Back to the Barre merchandise if you want guaranteed Christmas delivery! https://www.jakenothing.com/collections/back-to-the-barre Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Follow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Season 3 Nationals... Finally! | 05 Aug 2024 | 00:48:04 | |
“We are doing an episode this week that I have been dreading for 12 years," mourns Christi as she can't wait any longer now that the ALDC is finally heading to nationals once more! It's been a long and arduous Season 3, but it all comes to a head on "The Big, Not So, Easy". Fair warning: this episode has a lot to take in so it's a two parter. Don't yell at us we've warned you! Nationals are being held in New Orleans so the ALDC settles into Off Broadway Dance Studio (or at lease a place nearby) to prepare. Things get off to a rocky start with the final Pyramid of the season. Payton is included even though she hadn't competed in the week prior, and even more baffling is the fact bellow her is Kendall who's duet was last week's standout performance. Abby then announces that the girls will be paired off against one another in solo matches to determine who will move on to Nationals, though as the moms note based on the choreography of each solo it's really obvious who Abby intends to win each pairing. But those plans hit a speed bump when all hell breaks loose over drinks at a local bistro. The moms are goofing around with voodoo dolls when Kristie informs them that Asia will be leaving the ALDC tomorrow to explore opportunities in LA. While that was obviously planned for (wink, wink), Christi and Leslie getting into a drunken fight was not. A producer has to step in to break up the fight and Christi unsuccessfully tries to get Leslie arrested. At least for Christi it's all downhill from there. Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| YUUUUUGE Announcement! | 22 Nov 2023 | 00:02:44 | |
Order your official Back to the Barre merchandise by Monday, November 27 to guarantee Christmas delivery!! https://www.jakenothing.com/collections/back-to-the-barre XO, Christi & Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| It's a Furry Episode with Jill | 20 Nov 2023 | 01:59:42 | |
"Red plastic rhinestone crap, blue plastic rhinestone crap," utters Christi as one of her most iconic scenes comes into play as these bitches cover the first half of the massive Season 3 episode "The Apple of Her Eye". Joining our moms is none other than newly dubbed Bitch #3, Jill Vertes! There could be no better guest for the occasion as this episode features one of Jill's most infamous attempts to bolster Kendall's standing with Abby, so she's here to explain herself! After a finishing a disastrous 7th place in last week's competition, Abby is determined to bring the ALDC back to the top with a rematch against Cathy at the next competition. With Nia being the only stand-out dancer from the previous routines, Abby decides to focus the next group dance around her with a contemporary dance themed for Civil Rights icon Rosa Parks. But in order to encourage Nia to be the best and "earn it", Abby implies the role of Rosa Parks is up for grabs?! This is especially shocking to everyone involved as the idea of any child not named Nia portraying Parks would be disastrous. Though Jill is seemingly up for the task and begins to promote Kendall for the role of Rosa Parks! Between this development and Abby's nicer than normal attitude, the ALDC is certainly in for an eventful week! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Follow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Naked Adjacent | 13 Nov 2023 | 00:51:56 | |
"We're not very smart, we haven't done Back to the Barre for a while," Christi confesses as the bitches get ready to ease back into the Barre with a quick look at some of Season 3's Promos. It's been a busy few weeks of filming and traveling for both Christi and Kelly. Between producing and Dance Moms Reunions, they managed to miss a whole episode! But fear not Bitchettes as this week they're dissecting two classic Dance Moms promos, featuring homages to both Flashdance and Take on Me. For 30 second clips they sure do take a long time to film, and no mom came out unscathed. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get hurt when a whole group of moms rush a door at the same time! And how giddy was Abby when she got to douse the moms with ice cold water? The answer won't surprise you! Quotes
Links Subscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarre Thank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510 Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiak Follow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||