Explore every episode of the podcast Back from the Abyss: Psychiatry in Stories | Psychotherapy, Trauma, and Psychedelics
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Are psychiatric nurse practitioners getting the training they need (and deserve)? A psych NP educator and Dr. H talk shop | 06 Nov 2026 | 01:11:51 | |
The vast majority of new psychiatric clinicians in the US are psychiatric nurse practitioners, not psychiatrists. Are they adequately prepared for the complex challenges of treating psychiatric patients? Dr. H sits down with Lyons Hardy of Virginia Commonwealth University to explore all things educational, including what excellent training looks like and some of the major issues and structural flaws of the current training environment. Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Lyons Hardy https://nursing.vcu.edu/people/directory/lyons-hardy.html Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| GLP-1s, Eating Disorders, and Body Image with Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani | 23 Oct 2026 | 01:04:39 | |
Are GLP-1s the best thing to come along in psychiatry in years…. or are they going to turn out to have a dark side, by triggering eating disorders, causing undernutrition, and narrowing what’s an acceptable body type? Dr. H sits down with nationally known eating disorder specialist and the author of Sick Enough, Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani, to explore both the hopeful upside of these meds as well as their hidden risks. Dr. Jennifer Gaudiani https://www.gaudianiclinic.com/#welcome2 Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Psychedelics and the Enneagram with Joy Gribble | 09 Oct 2026 | 01:16:51 | |
Dr. H sits down with psychotherapist and Enneagram expert Joy Gribble (Reflective Healing; Elemental Psychedelics) to explore the fascinating nexus between psychedelic-assisted therapy and the Enneagram. Joy Gribble https://www.reflectivehealing.com/about-joy-gribble-fort-collins Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| The legacy of institutionalization-- Orphanages, attachment trauma, borderline personality disorder, and C-PTSD | 25 Sep 2026 | 01:06:53 | |
This is the story of Milena, starting with her early years in a Bulgarian orphanage, then the hope and promise of being adopted by an American family, and finally the emerging and increasingly ominous consequences of early attachment trauma and institutionalization. Adoption is complicated and multi-layered….and the unforeseen consequences of adoption can play out over a lifetime. Milena thought she had won the golden ticket out of the orphanage and into a new life in America, but after the initial honeymoon period, the deeper reality of what it means to spend the first 5 years of life in an institutional setting began to swallow her up and tear her apart. Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Psychiatric Illness in Parallel-- Bipolar vs Schizoaffective Disorder, Genes vs Environment, Insight vs Anosognosia | 11 Sep 2026 | 01:02:13 | |
In this season 8 opener Rosy shares both her experience recovering from bipolar disorder and the heartbreak of watching her beloved son begin to show signs of an even more extreme form of bipolar disorder called schizoaffective disorder. This is a story in parallel, two lives deeply intertwined, yet also slowly tearing apart as her son’s illness became increasingly severe. Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Summer Special Part 2-- Laura Mae Northrup and her treatment journey | 14 Aug 2026 | 01:13:47 | |
In this second of two parts, Laura Mae Northrup shares stories of how she found a healing path through connection, therapy, and psychedelics. Laura Mae Northrup https://www.lauramaenorthrup.com/ Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| BFTA Summer Special: Healing sexual trauma with psychedelics and entheogens-- Laura Mae Northrup shares her journey | 31 Jul 2026 | 00:30:53 | |
This is the first of a two part summer special with Laura Mae Northrup, who was first featured in the original BFTA summer special back in 2022. In this first episode, in an excerpt from her wonderful podcast called Inside Eyes, we hear Laura describe her long and grueling battle with suicidality, which emerged as a result of childhood sexual abuse. In the second episode in two weeks, Laura and Dr. H dive deep into her personal healing journey— what worked, what didn’t, and how she was able to finally put her chronic suicidality to rest. Laura Mae Northrup https://www.lauramaenorthrup.com/ Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Season 7 Wrap-up...plus a farewell and a big change coming for BFTA | 15 May 2026 | 00:10:49 | |
After seven years and so many powerful stories, Craig announces a tectonic shift in the BFTA plates. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Closing song-- "Come and go" by Timber Choir Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Complex PTSD vs Classic PTSD-- Medical trauma and MDMA assisted therapy | 01 May 2026 | 01:00:02 | |
Amidst a long catalog of previous BFTA stories featuring complex or developmental PTSD, today’s story is one of classic DSM-style PTSD, it’s a story of both medical and parenting trauma, of facing the fear of annihilation and death. In this three part story, first we hear Tracy tell of the increasingly severe medical challenges of her children, then Tracy flashes back to describe her own terrifying emergency hospitalization as a 5 year old, then finally we trace Tracy’s treatment journey through traditional psychotherapy and eventual MDMA-assisted therapy as she tries to find a way to calm her nervous system and find peace. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| The Hidden Minefield of Positive Countertransference | 17 Apr 2026 | 00:14:02 | |
In this solo episode Dr. H shares his thoughts on the unexpected risks of feeling too much positive energy and/or identification with a patient. This talk is also a sneak preview into the workshop that Dr. H teaches with Dr. Hillary McBride called "I Love You I Hate You...Are You My Mom?' Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| The gasoline and the match— Bipolar disorder, THC, and manic activation | 03 Apr 2026 | 00:49:06 | |
Today’s story is one of genetic predisposition, environmental triggers, and finally a psychiatric flame thrower. Whitney’s uncle had a particularly severe form of bipolar disorder and she too began to develop mood instability and depression as an adolescent. When we think of environmental triggers for mania, we tend to think of sleep deprivation, substances, and the postpartum period. And through her 20s and 30s, Whitney began to have more serious bouts of hypomania during times of sleep deprivation or in her postpartum periods. But it took an increasingly severe weed habit to bring her to the horrors of mania with psychosis. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| How can we actually prevent suicide? Guns, access to means, and the hope of Donna's Law | 20 Mar 2026 | 01:01:10 | |
The US has a major suicide problem, around 50,000 people every year, and 60% of these suicides are gun suicides. The number one risk factor for completed suicide is not depression or anxiety or addiction….it’s access to means, and it turns out that it’s actually not that easy to impulsively kill yourself, unless you have ready access to a gun. We are finally starting to talk about ways to keep guns out of the hands of potentially suicidal people, and a concrete step in that direction is something called Donna’s Law— a program where people can voluntarily be put on a no-sell list during times of psychological crisis or instability. Donna’s Law is named after Donna Nathan, who impulsively bought a handgun in 2018 in New Orleans and shot herself during a period of psychiatric crisis. There were no barriers in place, no waiting period or no-sell list...Donna found easy access to means and paid the ultimate price. We first hear the voice of Katrina Brees, Donna’s daughter. Katrina tells us more about who Donna was, how she lived and how she died. After we hear from Katrina, Dr. H leads a discussion with two prominent Colorado voices for both Donna’s law in particular and suicide prevention in general— Dr. Dave Iverson is a Denver-based psychiatrist, a board member of Colorado Ceasefire, and lifelong advocate for society’s most vulnerable folks, including those on the streets or in the justice system… also Ginny Mack joins the conversation, she is a Ft Collins-based psychiatric nurse practitioner, a Navy Veteran, and a longtime advocate for suicide prevention efforts on the state and local level. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Donna's Law for Suicide Prevention Donna's Law for Colorado https://www.donnaslawforco.com/ Colorado listeners who would like to get involved in the awareness campaign for Donna's Law, please email: Golden Gate suicide study https://www.goldengate.org/assets/1/6/suicide-deterrent-seiden-study.pdf Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page | |||
| A somatic therapist and her apprenticeship of grief | 06 Mar 2026 | 01:04:50 | |
Today’s story explores how we love, how we grieve, and how we eventually find some sort of equilibrium thereafter. This episode is a heartbreaking, yet beautiful story by Colorado-based somatic therapist Darci Meyers about her journey through multiple losses, grief, and ongoing recovery. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Darci Meyers Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| A gift of therapy- Discovering the wisdom of the body with psychedelic-assisted therapy | 20 Feb 2026 | 00:47:52 | |
Kari reconnected with her birth mother in her 40s and finally began to understand the suffering for which she had no words. This is a story of adoption and reunification, of forgetting and remembering, of finding a truth without words in the wisdom of the body. Kari’s birth mother was able to see something deep in Kari that she had never had words for….and thus began her path toward healing. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Elemental Psychedelics Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy Training https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ketaminetraining Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| A Nurse + Grief + Alcohol + Adderall— Finding Hope for Healers | 06 Feb 2026 | 01:04:48 | |
Kate started her addiction journey at a young age, using substances as a salve for her terrible grief. Later, drugs and alcohol helped her to cope with the transition to nursing and the unending demands of a hospital setting. But as with all addicts, this strategy worked until it didn’t….Kate eventually had to find a new way to cope if she was going to survive past her 30s. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Kate Gibson (The Coleman Institute) Kate@thecolemaninstitute.com; Kate.gibson.dnp@gmail.com Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| The Scary Med List-- A Case Consultation with Dr. H | 23 Jan 2026 | 00:22:57 | |
Dr. H dives deep into a patient's scary, confusing, and ill-advised list of psych meds to illustrate some deeper truths and lessons about psychopharmacology and the med management model of psychiatry. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, Ketamine, and Psychiatry 3.0 | 09 Jan 2026 | 01:11:12 | |
Dr. H sits down with Dr. Elizabeth Fenstermacher, Medical Director of the TMS Clinic at the University of Colorado- Anschutz to explore the growing role of TMS and neuromodulation in psychiatry. They explore questions such as: •How should we think about TMS vs ketamine in the treatment of depression? Trauma? OCD? •Who are the best candidates for TMS? •What are the relative merits of intensive TMS (SAINT) vs standard protocols? •How might TMS and ketamine work together to promote psychiatric stability? Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Dr. Elizabeth Fenstermacher https://som.cuanschutz.edu/Profiles/Faculty/Profile/33013 Patient selection for TMS- Case report with Dr. Fenstermacher Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| When psychiatric illness isn't just psychiatric-- The immune system, PANS, and psychiatric mimicry | 26 Dec 2025 | 01:20:45 | |
There is a growing awareness in psychiatry that not all psychiatric illness is psychiatric— some percentage of what presents in psychiatric settings is actually triggered by autoimmune responses to various pathogens and insults. In the late '90s a syndrome called PANDAS (pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with strep) came on the scene with cases of sudden onset OCD and tics that appeared in conjunction with strep infections. The theory behind PANDAS was that parts of the basal ganglia of the brain had exterior cell proteins which were very similar to those of the strep bacteria, and as the immune system began to attack the strep bacteria, it also began an autoimmune assault on parts of the midbrain, including the basal ganglia, thus producing a sudden onset of OCD or tics. In recent years PANDAS has evolved into a broader concept called PANS— pediatric acute onset neuropsychiatric syndrome— which includes a vast array of neurological and psychiatric symptoms and syndromes that can potentially be triggered by autoimmune reactions. It can be tricky to diagnose PANS….this is probably why it is still a somewhat controversial diagnosis in some arenas. We don’t have a clear and consistent set of labs or biomarkers to positively determine PANS, and because the syndrome is so broad in how it can present, clinicians struggle to come up with a modal or average presentation that they can put in their pattern recognition systems. One feature that seems fairly classic for PANS is that the symptoms tend to increase during and/or right after a concomitant infectious illness, presumably because the immune system activation is reigniting the autoimmune attack on the central nervous system. Today’s story features a mom, Kari, and her daughter, Zoe. Zoe had lots of illness and immune system issues as a young child, first fatigue and then GI symptoms, then profound mood instability, and then she eventually developed horrific treatment resistant anorexia which did not respond to the best treatments psychiatry had to offer. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| 10 Questions to Deepen Psychotherapy-- Inviting the Here and Now | 12 Dec 2025 | 00:16:11 | |
Psychotherapy can often get stuck in a there and then storytelling mode....how do we shift the therapeutic encounter into the immediacy of the Here and Now? Here Dr. H shares 10 questions which shine a spotlight on what's happening (and not happening!) between therapist and patient. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| Is DID real? Parts, alters, exiles, and what's allowed in the therapeutic space | 28 Nov 2025 | 01:07:37 | |
Dr. H sits down with Jade Miller, a peer support specialist and advocate for public education about DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). In the first part of this episode, Jade shares her story and how she came to understand that the puzzling gaps and often frightening incongruities in her life were caused by her rotating through a number of dissociated identities or alters, initially protecting her… but eventually leaving her powerless to stop repeated traumatization. Jade and Dr. H then talk shop about DID and Jade challenges some of Dr. H's long held beliefs. Jade Miller https://peersupportformultiples.com/ Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| Parenting through the storm-- Adoption, trauma, acceptance, and humility | 14 Nov 2025 | 01:01:04 | |
BFTA storyteller Frank shares the joy, confusion, chaos, utter fear, and deepest gratitude when he and his partner Brad adopted and raised two boys, ages 4 and 2, from the foster care system. Twenty years ago, when Frank adopted the boys, trauma was not in the public awareness as it is today, and he was told that these little boys, who had spent some time in a meth house, might well have some challenges…..but he never could have expected what awaited. Can love overcome trauma? Can stability and structure and patience and compassion adequately compensate for profound early childhood neglect and abuse? Frank’s story is just one example, but it’s a beautiful one, these two dads trying to find a way to heal deep attachment wounds without a roadmap. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support
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| When our minds forget our bodies remember-- A trauma therapist comes back to life | 31 Oct 2025 | 01:13:41 | |
Rachael, a trauma therapist and today's storyteller, describes how her early childhood abuse was buried by the protective mechanism of dissociative amnesia. As Rachael wrote to Dr. H, “The only way I could continue to live, with no way out, with no one to tell, with no words even to describe what was happening to me, was to forget what was happening to me….when our minds forget, our bodies remember.” Rachael saved herself by forgetting, then was forced to finally face what happened to her when her body carried out its ultimate rebellion in the context of having her third child, her first girl….a little baby girl, with no one to protect her….or at least that’s what the terrible and unrelenting obsessions began to say. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Rachael Parsons Svendsen https://www.rachaelsvendsen.com/
The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| Treatment-resistant bipolar disorder-- Finding stability at last | 17 Oct 2025 | 00:54:40 | |
This story is a mirror to Elizabeth’s story from season 1 episode 1. Today’s storyteller Sarah was so moved by Elizabeth’s story that it helped her to trust Dr. H's recommendation to take a pretty scary medication, the extremely powerful antipsychotic and mood stabilizer called clozapine. So why tell this story again? As they say, history doesn’t repeat itself, but it does often rhyme, and Sarah’s story rhymes beautifully with Elizabeth’s. Both had severe and treatment resistant bipolar 1 disorder, formerly known as manic-depression. Both tried all the meds, did all the things, then eventually reached a point of utter hopelessness and despair….and then they had to trust Dr. H enough to try one more thing. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ | |||
| Hiding in plain sight-- Life, work, and therapy on the autistic spectrum | 03 Oct 2025 | 01:05:04 | |
In today’s story we explore what it’s like to be on the autistic spectrum, and more specifically, how a later life diagnosis can totally change the way you view the world and yourself. Aurelie, our storyteller today, was an autism expert, a clinical psychologist who had trained with some of the premier autism experts in the country…yet she didn’t discover her own autism until she was 40 years old. This episode explores why women on the spectrum are so often missed, how women on the autistic spectrum are so often masters of masking, which means imitating the mannerisms and behaviors of neurotypical people, thus allowing them to both fit in and also to be left hiding in plain sight. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Dr. Aurelie Welterlin https://www.ncawag.net/our-team/dr-aurelie-welterlin "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| Trapped in secrecy and shame-- A boy, his coach, and healing trauma with MDMA | 19 Sep 2025 | 01:36:25 | |
How do you rebuild trust amidst the ashes of trauma? This is the story of Sean, an up and coming star tennis player whose coach carefully selected him and then groomed him for years of sexual assault. His trust destroyed, Sean had to find a way to try to trust again…..and after many years of hiding and pretending and near self-destruction, Sean finally was able to share the details of what happened to him. Thus began his therapeutic journey of finding compassion for himself and trust toward others…with the guidance of his two devoted therapists and the assistance of MDMA. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Sean (tarheelmcdermott@gmail.com) "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| BFTA Summer Special-- The Wisdom of the Psychedelic Therapy Underground | 14 Aug 2025 | 01:01:39 | |
In this fourth annual summer psychedelic special, Dr. H sits down to hear some hard-earned wisdom from a therapist colleague who has been doing underground MDMA and psilocybin work for years. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ | |||
| Chris, Craig, and Special Guest Fish in Fishbowl 6 | 06 Jun 2025 | 01:51:33 | |
Chris and Craig invite Antonio Sacre, an LA-based professional storyteller, author, and BFTA super-advisor into the Fishbowl to deconstruct season 6. BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ | |||
| Psychiatric Nurse Practitioners in the Treatment Landscape | 23 May 2025 | 01:02:13 | |
Craig sits down with his mentee and colleague Mandy Bliss, a psychiatric NP in Louisville KY, to explore the compelling and complex challenges of meeting the ever-expanding need for psychiatric care. Unlike in psychiatric residencies, much of the current training of psychiatric NPs is done online. Does this constitute adequate training? And what of psychotherapy? Mandy Bliss MSN, APRN, FNP-BC, PMHNP-BC BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ | |||
| The Enneagram in the Therapeutic Relationship | 09 May 2025 | 01:18:09 | |
Craig sits down with Colorado-based psychotherapist and Enneagram expert Joy Gribble (Elemental Psychedelics; Reflective Healing) to explore how the Enneagram can predict the strengths, fears, and blind spots of both the therapist and the client/patient in the complex dynamics of therapy. Joy Gribble https://www.reflectivehealing.com/about-joy-gribble-fort-collins "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Meds can't fill the trauma hole-- Attachment, maternal wounding, and the challenges of coming off meds | 25 Apr 2025 | 00:54:53 | |
Here Dr. H sits down with Lisa, a pediatric nurse practitioner, to witness her story of developmental trauma, concomitant chronic depression, and eventually her path of healing and rebuilding trust and connection, largely through psychotherapy. During her years of intermittently crippling and suicidal depression, she was put on various psych meds, which might have helped at the time, but later became shockingly difficult to try to taper and stop. This is a story of overcoming shame, a story that looks at the question of whether people need meds for life….and it turns out, surprise surprise, that what’s causing or driving depression actually really matters….and when that’s a Mom wound, most psych meds are really just acting as flimsy bandages. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, May 28-30 in Victoria BC BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Desperately seeking safety -- A trauma healing journey with Koelle Simpson | 11 Apr 2025 | 02:05:54 | |
Craig sits down with Colorado-based equine and somatic therapist Koelle Simpson to witness her harrowing and moving story of healing from repeated sexual assaults through a deep psychospiritual connection with horses, then learning how to trust her male psychotherapist, and finally coming to face the darkness and shame head on through the use of psilocybin mushrooms. A heads up-- this episode contains graphic descriptions of sexual assault, please be mindful of whether this is the right time for you to hear this. Koelle Simpson "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" A intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, May 28-30 in Victoria BC BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| The Art of Deprescribing | 28 Mar 2025 | 00:22:39 | |
Dr. H breaks down the complex task of deprescribing into six clear steps, starting with the most important and challenging question of all: Who is the patient and why are they suffering? "Bringing Therapy into Med Management"-- a psychotherapy training intensive with Dr. H for psych NPs and PAs this October in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/training/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Developing field awareness: Working with transference and countertransference | 14 Mar 2025 | 01:10:36 | |
This is an interview that Dr. H recently did on a podcast called "The Web: Weaving Psychology and Soul in Circle" where he goes deep into his own journey learning how to work with transference and countertransference. Carrie Haynes and "The Web" "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ "Bringing Therapy into Med Management"-- a psychotherapy training intensive with Dr. H for psych NPs and PAs https://www.craigheacockmd.com/training/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Sex Hormones and Psychiatric Illness with Dr. Neill Epperson | 28 Feb 2025 | 01:03:40 | |
Dr. H sits down with Dr. Neill Epperson, chair of the University of Colorado Department of Psychiatry, to talk all things hormonal. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" A intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, May 28-30 in Victoria BC | |||
| Adventures in Exposure Therapy (Re-release) | 14 Feb 2025 | 00:44:49 | |
This is a re-release of an episode called "Adventures in Exposure Therapy" which first published in 2020. That episode was the second of a two part exploration of OCD, the first episode was called "OCD in the Time of Corona." In brief, "OCD in the Time of Corona" was the story of Dr. H's patient Erin, who suffered from disabling OCD that focused on a catastrophizing fear of cold sores and the herpes virus. Dr. H initially treated Erin, then referred her to Dr. Amy Indermuehle, a CO based psychologist and OCD expert, who then took over the exposure therapy. "Adventures in Exposure Therapy" is a conversation with Dr. Amy both about the fascinating specifics of Erin’s OCD tx, as well as a ton of wisdom and guidance about how to do exposure therapy for various presentations of OCD. Dr. Amy Indermuehle "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" A intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, May 28-30 in Victoria BC | |||
| Can MDMA save a marriage? One couple's story | 31 Jan 2025 | 00:53:04 | |
Today’s story is the story of so many marriages— starting off with hope and excitement, then settling into careers and kids and unforeseen challenges, then facing emerging disenchantment and mounting frustrations, then maybe even reaching a breaking point, where the marriage seems unable to withstand all the stuff life is throwing in its path. For Daniel and Mindy, their initial years of love and hope and adventure were slowly buried by layers of physical and emotional pain, by Daniel’s chronic and worsening depression, by Mindy’s frustration and anger and shame. Teetering on the edge, they decided to begin working with MDMA, hoping to rediscover what they had somehow lost. | |||
| Psychedelics, psychiatric meds, and the question of tapering | 17 Jan 2025 | 00:18:06 | |
One of the more interesting and difficult challenges of integrating psychedelics into psychiatry is how to deal with the fact that so many of the folks who will seek out care for their treatment-resistant depression or OCD or body dysmorphia or PTSD or attachment trauma are on psychiatric meds, many of which can have very significant and even dangerous interactions with certain psychedelics. | |||
| In the room with Hillary McBride and Saj Razvi--- A moment to moment exploration of psychedelic somatic trauma therapy | 03 Jan 2025 | 01:05:00 | |
Saj Razvi and Hillary McBride return to BFTA, this time together, for one of the most compelling and fascinating episodes we have featured on the podcast-- an in depth, in the room exploration of the moment to moment unfolding of a psychedelic-assisted trauma session. During her training to work with Saj’’s psychedelic somatic model, called PSIP, Hillary did a profound session with Saj that led to some very unexpected gifts for Hillary. Interestingly, the psychedelic used for this session was THC— Saj has spoken extensively in past BFTA episodes why he considers vaped THC a particularly potent catalyst for somatic trauma work, to rapidly cut through dissociation and heighten autonomic reactions. First we’ll hear Saj give some background context and an introduction to the theory of his work, then we’ll hear Hillary enter into a very emotional and often physically grueling session, with both Saj and Hillary weighing in occasionally with commentary about the process, then finally we hear them both summarize what happened, how they understand the meaning and the story. A heads up, Hillary’s session gets very intense at times, if you don’t feel ready to hear someone walk the fires of their nearly annihilating trauma, maybe save this episode for another time. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4-6 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/
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| Recognizing and Treating OCD | 20 Dec 2024 | 00:21:48 | |
In this solo episode, Craig synthesizes the most salient aspects of identifying and treating OCD, with some cool musical interludes to boot-- in just over 20 minutes! | |||
| Therapists in the abyss: A journey back to self | 06 Dec 2024 | 01:12:52 | |
You don't end up working in psychiatry/mental health by accident-- therapists and psychiatrists almost always come from their own place of emotional pain. Here Dr. H sits down with his colleague Kristen, a well-respected Colorado psychotherapist who always appeared to have it all together, while battling her own inner demons of feeling like a fraud-- broken, unworthy, irredeemable. This is Kristen's story of finding a way through her double life, of coming to peace with what she survived, how she coped, and how this helps her to help others. | |||
| What I'm thinking about now: Working in the Here and Now; Polypharmacy; Diagnostic Parsimony; Ketamine Microdosing; Psych NP Training | 22 Nov 2024 | 00:23:56 | |
In this solo episode Dr. H shares his current thoughts on working in the here and now; polypharmacy; the root causes of suicidality; diagnostic parsimony ; ketamine microdosing; and online psych NP training programs. | |||
| Reconstructing the narrative-- Trauma, dissociation, psychedelics, and working in the negative transference | 08 Nov 2024 | 01:20:00 | |
Kate lived for many years in a hazy and numbing dialectic, thinking that her life was “perfect”, but also having a vague and gnawing sense that just under the surface something was terribly wrong. This is a story of forgetting and remembering, a story of finding a therapist who was willing and able to sit through years of hateful negative transference and let Kate work through her parent-child wounds. And finally this is a story of MDMA and psilocybin helping someone move forward through the minefield of trauma. | |||
| I had to rebuild who I was-- Finding trust and a pathway out of psychosis | 25 Oct 2024 | 00:57:39 | |
Very few people are willing and/or able to share and describe their descent into psychosis— in part because memory formation and consolidation are so impaired during episodes of psychosis…..and also because there is often so much fear and shame tied up in the experience of losing one’s mind. Video made by Corben to accompany his story https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nIJcriJjggA BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast | |||
| Why med management is mostly doomed to fail-- The top 10 (12!) reasons with Dr. Will Van Derveer | 11 Oct 2024 | 00:57:54 | |
The prevailing model of psychiatric care in the US is called "med management"-- this typically means a 10-15min appointment to review symptoms and choose medications. Here Dr. Will Van Derveer of the Integrative Psychiatric Institute sits down with Dr. H to deconstruct this deeply flawed model and posit a more holistic and hopeful way of thinking about psychiatric care. | |||
| How do you learn to do psychotherapy? An exploration with Dr. Erin Jacklin | 27 Sep 2024 | 01:17:05 | |
In this season 6 opener Dr. H sits down with Dr. Erin Jacklin of the Catalyst Center in Denver to explore how we learn to the deeply complex and consistently challenging work of doing good therapy. "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ | |||
| BFTA Summer Special-- How to Change Your Mind About Mushrooms with Dori Lewis | 05 Jul 2024 | 00:59:17 | |
Craig sits down with Dori Lewis of Elemental Psychedelics to explore the myths and realities of working with psilocybin mushrooms, including: | |||
| Fishbowl 5 | 31 May 2024 | 01:00:39 | |
Chris and Craig go meta to deconstruct season 5, explore the art of storytelling and music selection, and answer listener questions. | |||
| When Mom is mentally ill-- A story of resilience | 16 May 2024 | 00:54:02 | |
Christina grew up with a tumultuous and mentally ill mother, an older brother who decompensated into psychosis and frightening aggression, and just one healthy family member, her father. Dr. H and Christina explore both the wounding of having a desperately ill parent, as well as the profound gift of having another parent able to provide love and support. Christina suffered terribly from these maternal wounds, but she was also able to finally emerge as a healthy, grateful, wise, and deeply caring adult….initially drawn to nursing, she eventually transitioned into working as a psychiatric nurse practitioner. This story is in two parts— first Christina shares her moving story, then she and Dr. H go meta and explore the behind the scenes preparation for this episode. Two of the themes that emerge in this latter part are storytelling as integration, and vulnerability as part of healing. Christina beautifully describes how the process of pulling her story together and unearthing these often brutal memories allowed her to find a deeper sense of peace, acceptance, and self-affirmation. | |||
| A Psychiatrist Goes to War | 03 May 2024 | 00:49:06 | |
Dr. Russell Carr was a career Navy psychiatrist for 20 years and served in Iraq, where today’s story begins. This is a story of a healer, then a terrible wounding, then the healer trying to find his way amidst the chaos of war. This story is about a rite of passage, one that not every psychiatrist faces, but most do at some point-- that of losing the first patient to suicide, then trying to find the strength to move forward. | |||
| My dog saved my life-- Understanding the story of depression | 19 Apr 2024 | 00:56:30 | |
A huge problem with current psychiatric diagnosis is that it often lumps completely unrelated things under the same vast and vague tent, such as with the diagnosis of "Major Depressive Disorder". Here Craig sits down with his patient Rebecca to try to make sense of her complex early onset depression and how it played out via addiction, anorexia, and pathological caretaking and how she was finally able find the grace and compassion to prioritize care for herself. | |||