The Ayahuasca Retreat Podcast is about what happens before the ceremony, inside the experience, and in the life that follows.
Through honest conversations, practical teachings, and lived experience, we explore preparation, retreat safety, healing, difficult ceremonies, integration, trauma, spirituality, relationships, embodiment, and the deeper work of bringing Ayahuasca into everyday life.
For first-timers, experienced drinkers, and those who support others on the path.
Visit: https://ayahuascaintegration.org/
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What role does your family history play in your healing journey?
How might the pain, patterns, and unspoken stories of previous generations still influence your life today?
In this episode of The Ayahuasca Retreat Podcast, I explore the connection between Ayahuasca, family constellations, and ancestral healing, including a deeply personal experience from one of my recent retreats in Spain.
Trigger warning: This episode mentions a traumatic experience.
We explore:
What family constellations are and how they work in a group setting.
The three Orders of Love: belonging, place within the family system, and the balance between giving and receiving.
How family dynamics, inherited patterns, and unspoken loyalties can influence our relationships and sense of identity.
Why we can love our parents while still needing boundaries around their behaviour.
How family constellation work can help us explore relationships with people we can no longer speak to, have never met, or struggle to understand.
How Ayahuasca and family constellations can work alongside each other during a retreat.
My own experience of meeting my inner child through a constellation, confronting childhood experiences, and seeing my creative blocks from a different perspective.
Why we cannot force healing to happen on our own timeline, and what surrender has taught me about working with deeply rooted pain.
How we can explore our family history without taking responsibility for everything our parents and ancestors carried.
I also share what happened during a recent constellation at Chakana Ancestral, where I found myself facing parts of my childhood that I had worked with for years, but had never experienced in quite the same way.
Connect, Integrate & Go Deeper:
For ayahuasca integration resources, articles, circles, retreats, and programs, visit:
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
Ayahuasca Integration Retreats
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
How to Navigate a Difficult Ayahuasca Ceremony with Satya Linda Grace
Season 1 · Episode 40
Wednesday, September 9, 2026 • Duration 01:05:36
How do you manage a very difficult Ayahuasca ceremony? How do you find your way through a ceremony when you feel overwhelmed, frightened, or lost? And when the ceremony ends, how do you begin to integrate an experience you may still be struggling to understand?
What can you turn towards when the experience feels beyond your capacity?
Perhaps you went into ceremony with a prayer, an intention, and a willingness to meet yourself. But what happened was difficult to stay with. You may have felt afraid of what you were experiencing, uncertain about what was happening, or unable to find your way back to a sense of safety.
And afterwards, perhaps you were left wondering: What do I do with this? How do I speak about something I cannot fully explain? Where do I begin when I don't even know what happened to me?
These are the questions we're making space for in this episode.
I'm joined by Satya Linda Grace, one of my dear mentors and friends on the Ayahuasca path, for an honest conversation about our own difficult ceremonies and the practices we turn towards, both in ceremony and in the days and weeks afterwards.
We explore what it means to meet a difficult experience while being honest about your limits. How do you relate to the fear that comes up? How do you communicate that you need help? And what does support look like when you feel too overwhelmed to know what to ask for?
We also share:
The violet flame of protection: Satya's spiritual practice and my personal experience of working with it in ceremony.
Returning to your breath, your body, and your prayer when the experience feels overwhelming.
Asking to be held and allowing yourself to receive support.
The importance of knowing your facilitators and feeling connected to the people beside you.
Making room for rest, quiet, and integration without forcing the experience to make sense.
Naming what you experienced without judging yourself or turning it into your identity.
5 Ayahuasca Integration Practices to Stay Connected After Ceremony.
Season 1 · Episode 39
Thursday, September 3, 2026 • Duration 44:28
DOWNLOAD THE FREE MUSIC, MEDITATION AND PRAYER GUIDE HERE: https://www.ayahuascaintegration.org/five-practices
Are you struggling to stay connected to the divine experience you touched during Ayahuasca?
Maybe it has been one week or one year since you last met the grandmother. Perhaps you are carrying dense energy you cannot move, purge, or even name. Or maybe it feels like grief: your frequency has fallen from the highest connection you have ever known into an old familiar low.
In this episode, I share five simple practices for restoring that connection to your own highest frequency of bliss, love, and flow, while remaining connected to Ayahuasca and the spiritual dimension.
These practices can help you continue the work without constantly returning to ceremony. They create greater capacity to hold the light and release the energies that have completed their dance with you.
THE FIVE PRACTICES:
ANANDA MANDALA MEDITATION The most potent meditation I have found during ten years on this path. I share how it helped me release the chains of my old life, calm my nervous system, move dense energy, and experience profound spiritual states without medicine.
MEDICINE MUSIC Begin your morning with sacred songs that reconnect you to the plants, the ceremony, your body, and the medicine community. You will also receive our retreat Spotify playlist featuring songs we sing and share at Terrapacha.
THE FIVE-POINTED PRAYER A prayer built around five movements: Thank, Release, Receive, Reclaim, and Remember. Prayer becomes the bridge between everything you cannot fix or understand and the divine intelligence available to help you.
PROTECT AND HOLD THE ENERGY After ceremony, many of us unconsciously pull ourselves back into the suffering that feels familiar. I share how I used to destroy my connection within days, and why learning to hold love, light, and sexual energy is part of real integration.
12 Dangers of Ayahuasca Without Integration
Season 1 · Episode 38
Wednesday, August 26, 2026 • Duration 59:51
What happens when you drink a lot of Ayahuasca but never integrate what you receive? Today we dive into the dangers everyone on this path should be aware of, and the 12 questions you should ask yourself after an Ayahuasca ceremony, before you dive into the next.
Ayahuasca can open your consciousness incredibly quickly. But your capacity to embody what you receive may develop much more slowly.
And that gap can become dangerous.
You can accumulate profound insights without taking responsibility for them. Your spiritual identity can expand while your body, relationships and practical life become increasingly ungrounded. Sensitivity can grow without discernment. Intuition can become mixed with fear. Spiritual experiences can feed the ego instead of humbling it. You can become isolated from people who no longer understand your world, increasingly dependent on ceremony for answers, or overwhelmed by everything you have opened but never fully processed.
You can know more and more about yourself while becoming less capable of actually living what you know.
And eventually, another ceremony can become easier than integrating the last one.
In this episode, we look at what can happen when consciousness expands faster than your ability to integrate it, and the 12 areas you should examine before asking Ayahuasca, another medicine, or another spiritual experience to show you something new.
Connect, Integrate & Go Deeper:
For ayahuasca integration resources, articles, circles, retreats, and programs, visit:
🌿
Ayahuasca and the Wounds That Still Control You: The Forgiveness Process
Episode 37
Saturday, August 22, 2026 • Duration 01:06:10
Trigger warning: This episode includes personal stories of childhood abuse and murder.
Download the free companion workbook for this episode here: https://ayahuascaintegration.org/guides/wounds-that-still-control-you
What if the person who hurt you is gone from your life, but still has access to your consciousness?
What if the event ended twenty years ago, but one memory can still pull you into anger, resentment, shame or hours of rumination?
And what if healing is not about endlessly revisiting the wound, but learning when the wound has already taught you what you came here to learn?
In this deeply personal episode, I explore the wounds that continue to control us after ayahuasca, and the difference between processing trauma and becoming possessed by the emotional pattern around it.
I share my own journey with my biological mother, childhood abuse, rage, grief, betrayal and the long road toward acceptance. I also explore something I began noticing while living at an ayahuasca retreat: when one old wound stopped dominating my mind, another story would often take its place.
Different person. Different situation. Same energetic signature.
This episode asks a different question from “How do I forgive?”
What still has power over my consciousness?
We explore how old wounds become maps for the way we interpret relationships, why attention can keep reinforcing the very emotional states we want to leave, how to recognize when you are back inside an old trauma trance, and why forgiveness should never be used to bypass anger, grief, truth or accountability.
I also share the forgiveness framework I now use in my own integration work:
Face what actually happened. the meaning you created around it. the emotion beneath the story. the reality that cannot be changed. what still belongs to you.Allow to blossom when it is ready.Let become the completion of what no longer needs to repeat.
After Ayahuasca: Choosing What To Integrate - The Tree of Integration
Your ceremony may reveal many truths. Your life may only have space to live one of them right now.
Which insight is ready to become real in how you live?
Which one is simply the loudest?
And what can be preserved without being forced into action?
In this episode, David Vox introduces the Tree of Integration, a seven-part framework for moving from an Ayahuasca ceremony into grounded, lived transformation.
This episode is for anyone who has returned from ceremony carrying visions, emotions, teachings, memories, and possible directions, but does not know what to focus on first.
Instead of changing your entire life around one experience or allowing the ceremony to become a distant memory, the Tree of Integration helps you distill what you received and identify the one truth you have the trust, space, and capacity to embody now.
THE SEVEN-PART TREE OF INTEGRATION PROCESS:
RAIN OF REMEMBRANCE Capture everything you received before interpreting or acting on it.
SOIL AND THEME Identify the territory, atmosphere, or central theme that became open.
ROOTS AND TRUST Meet the emotional, subconscious, bodily, ancestral, symbolic, or spiritual material beneath the surface.
TRUNK AND TRUTH Recognize the new reference points you experienced and the deeper truths they revealed.
BRANCHES AND TRANSFORMATION Choose one area of your life where one truth can begin to take form.
FRUIT AND TRANSCENDENCE Notice what becomes possible as your consciousness blossoms beyond the old pattern.
Ayahuasca Chooses You. Integration Changes You.
Season 1 · Episode 35
Sunday, August 9, 2026 • Duration 01:14:23
What if transforming your karma is not about suffering your way through it?
What if it happens when you step fully into your dharma, into the life that makes you happiest, most purposeful, and most alive?
Today, we have the honor of meeting Yerumael, whose path with Ayahuasca began through a sequence of events she could never have planned.
After leaving a successful career in Swiss banking, she moved to London and entered the worlds of music, yoga, nutrition, and spiritual practice before eventually encountering Ayahuasca. Then, a stranger contacted her through Facebook and told her that he had seen her during a ceremony and believed she was meant to study with him.
Six months later, she was in the Peruvian jungle.
What followed were years of traditional dietas, apprenticeship, intense personal initiation, and eventually guiding others and serving the medicine. Yerumael spent 17 years working with Ayahuasca. Yet after almost two decades, the medicine’s deepest teaching was not that she needed another ceremony.
It was that she needed to stop.
For Yerumael, this was not a rejection of Ayahuasca. It was the recognition that Ayahuasca was never meant to become the final destination. At some point, the search for healing can become another identity. Another ceremony can become a way of postponing the changes that the previous ceremony already asked us to make.
The visions may be extraordinary, but the real test begins when you return home. Can you remain present with your child? Can you communicate differently with your partner? Can you translate what you were shown into choices that genuinely change the way you live?
This conversation explores what happens when Ayahuasca stops being the center of the path and life itself becomes the ceremony.
In this episode, we explore:
• How an unexpected Facebook message led Yerumael from London to an apprenticeship in Peru• What 17 years of ceremonies, dietas, and service taught her about the real purpose of Ayahuasca• Why being “chosen” by the medicine is an initiation, not a guarantee of transformation• Why seeking ceremony after ceremony can become another form of avoidance• Why Yerumael considers integration to be 90% of the work• How to translate visions and revelations into one clear change you can actually live• Why trying to integrate 50 insights at once can prevent any of them from taking root• Why facilitators carry a responsibility to support participants after the ceremony ends• How karma and dharma relate to purpose, pleasure, responsibility, and service• Why living your dharma may transform your relationship with suffering• When healing stops being the purpose of your life and living finally begins
Receive the Love You Already Have: A Ritual of Self-Celebration
Season 2 · Episode 34
Tuesday, July 21, 2026 • Duration 32:55
Do you know how to give, serve, and support others, but struggle to fully receive?
In this episode, we enter the medicine of self-celebration and explore how to expand our capacity to receive the love, beauty, support, recognition, and goodness already present in our lives.
We dive into one of the most powerful rituals I have ever witnessed and experienced: the Celebration Circle. This practice becomes a living technology for expanding our inner container so we can truly see, feel, and receive the medicine already surrounding us.
Through the reflections of people from different chapters of our lives, we begin to see the qualities, gifts, and impact that may be difficult to recognize from inside our own experience. Each person becomes a different mirror, revealing another facet of who we are.
This ritual also touches the parts of us that resist being loved, seen, witnessed, honoured, and celebrated. The parts that know how to give but struggle to receive. The parts that dismiss appreciation, move away from affection, or believe love must be earned through service, achievement, or usefulness.
Ayahuasca integration is not only about facing another wound. It is also about returning from the journey and creating enough space within ourselves for the gifts, love, and light we encountered to land in our ordinary lives.
Alongside this episode, you can explore The 7-Day Celebration Experience, a workbook created to help you practise receiving beauty, warmth, appreciation, support, pleasure, your own gifts, and the loving reflections already held by the people around you.
Because celebration is not something we earn after completing the work. Sometimes, celebration is the healing work that brings us into completion.
12 Gifts of Ayahuasca Integration: Living the Gifts You Already Carry
Season 1 · Episode 33
Saturday, July 18, 2026 • Duration 01:11:01
What gifts has ayahuasca already awakened within you?
In this episode of the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast, I explore the 12 Gifts of Ayahuasca Integration and the question that follows every ceremony:
How do I live the gifts that medicine has already shown me?
Many of us remain focused on what still needs healing. We search for the next wound, the next breakthrough, the next ceremony, or the next part of ourselves that needs to be fixed.
But ayahuasca integration also asks us to recognize what has already returned.
Together, we move through four stages of integration:
Returning to yourself through healing, the inner child, the body, and truth.
Learning to hold what has returned through self-love, structure, creativity, and joy.
Belonging more fully to life through community, connection, nature, and spiritual relationship.
Bringing your gifts into the world through purpose, service, and creation.
You will be invited to notice where healing is already visible in your life.
Maybe you recover more quickly after being triggered. Maybe your relationships are healthier. Maybe you can feel more deeply, speak more honestly, receive love more openly, or create without waiting for permission.
We explore the inner child not only as the part of you that was wounded, but as the keeper of your original aliveness, imagination, freedom, and divine blueprint.
Ayahuasca & The Four Movements of Surrender: How to Let the Medicine Truly Guide You
What if the life you built is not wrong, but simply too small for who you are becoming?
What if Ayahuasca is not asking you to understand more, prepare more, or control the ceremony better, but to surrender more completely to what is already trying to move through you?
In this episode, I sit down with Steve Cullen for a conversation about success, surrender, men’s work, plant medicine, and the deeper courage it takes to leave behind the identity you once thought was your life.
Steve spent decades inside a world that many people are taught to chase. Career success. Money. Status. Stability. A life that looked complete from the outside.
And yet something deeper kept calling.
This conversation follows the thread of that calling. We speak about what it means to walk away from a life built around achievement and enter a life built around healing, service, and devotion. We explore the hidden wounds beneath success, the old survival patterns that shape our relationships, and the way Ayahuasca can reveal what has been quietly directing our lives for decades.
At the heart of the episode is Steve’s simple and powerful framework for surrendering to the medicine:
Let Go. Let In. Let Be. Allow.
These four movements are not just for ceremony. They are a practice for integration, relationships, grief, fear, love, and every place in life where we are still trying to control what is asking to be felt.
We also explore men’s work, emotional honesty, fatherhood, marriage, accountability, and what happens when men finally have a space where they can stop performing and begin telling the truth.
This episode is for anyone preparing for an Ayahuasca ceremony, integrating a medicine experience, or standing at the edge of a life transition where the old identity no longer fits.
Working with your journal and choosing which parts of the experience need your attention first.
We also speak about the questions that can follow a difficult ceremony: Did I fail? Is something wrong with me? Why did someone else experience bliss while I was moving through fear or shame?
There needs to be room to speak honestly about what remains unresolved, alongside the beauty and the love.
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
Ayahuasca Integration Retreats
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
RETURN TO YOUR JOURNAL Your journal is not a souvenir from ceremony. It is a living connection to your own grace, courage, and wisdom. Return to it daily and witness how the threads of ceremony are being woven into your life.
Ceremony opens the connection. Practice teaches your body how to hold it.
Download the free practice kit, guided meditation, and medicine playlist through the links in this episode description.
Connect, Integrate & Go Deeper:
For ayahuasca integration resources, articles, circles, retreats, and programs, visit:
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
Ayahuasca Integration Retreats
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
Ayahuasca Integration Retreats
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
For me, forgiveness is not the seed. It is the flower.
It does not mean saying the abuse was acceptable. It does not mean reopening the relationship. It does not mean abandoning boundaries. It means reaching a place where another person’s darkness no longer determines the frequency from which you live.
At the end of the episode, I share a song that came through while walking this process myself.
You can also download the accompanying workbook, created to help you explore this process in your own integration.
Connect, Integrate & Go Deeper
For ayahuasca integration resources, articles, circles, retreats, and programs, visit:
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
Ayahuasca Integration Retreats
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
SEED AND CONTINUATION Preserve the remaining truths without pressuring yourself to integrate everything now.
You do not integrate an Ayahuasca experience by explaining every vision. You integrate it by allowing what was true in the ceremony room to become real in the way you live.
By the end of this episode, you will have a practical way to organize what you received, choose what is ready to be cultivated, and protect what needs another season.
Connect, Integrate & Go Deeper
For ayahuasca integration resources, articles, circles, retreats, and programs, visit:
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
Ayahuasca Integration Retreats
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
Ayahuasca Integration Retreats
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
The Sacred Integration Journey: Experience Your Own Celebration Circle
Join a five-month journey devoted to cultivating the gifts the medicine has already awakened within you. At the end of the journey, step into your own Celebration Circle, where 10–20 people who love you reflect your light, gifts, and impact back to you.
A journey of wholeness, celebration, and deep integration.
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
We look at the body as a source of truth and present-moment intelligence. We explore self-love as forgiveness, structure as devotion made visible, creativity as life taking form, joy as a capacity that can be strengthened, and belonging as the experience of being fully yourself while remaining connected to others.
This is not an episode about finding twelve new problems to solve.
It is an invitation to recognize the gifts you already carry, give them a place in your ordinary life, and build the structure that allows them to grow.
This episode is for anyone exploring ayahuasca integration, inner child healing, embodiment, self-love, creativity, joy, belonging, spiritual connection, purpose, service, and how to bring the gifts of an ayahuasca ceremony into everyday life.
The medicine may have shown you the gifts.
Now it is time to build a life that can hold and express them.
Connect, Integrate & Go Deeper
For ayahuasca integration resources, articles, circles, retreats, and programs, visit:
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
The Sacred Integration Journey
Join a five-month journey devoted to cultivating the gifts the medicine has already awakened within you.
Each week, you will take meaningful action, build supportive structures, deepen your expression, and create a life that can hold more of your gifts and light.
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
Home of the Ayahuasca Integration Alliance and the Ayahuasca Integration Podcast.
Sacred Integration Journey
Join a five-month journey devoted to cultivating the gifts the medicine has already awakened within you.
Each week, you will take meaningful action, build supportive structures, deepen your expression, and create a life that can hold more of your gifts and light.
Join an integration focused ayahuasca retreat with deep preparation, one-to-one support, integration circles, rituals, and ten complementary healing modalities.
