Explore every episode of the podcast Ask Christopher West
Dive into the complete episode list for Ask Christopher West. Each episode is cataloged with detailed descriptions, making it easy to find and explore specific topics. Keep track of all episodes from your favorite podcast and never miss a moment of insightful content.
Rows per page:
50
1ā50 of 410
Title
Pub. Date
Duration
Why Are Catholics Afraid of Desire?, My Wife Canāt Climax, Arousal During Adoration | ACW409
We're in our early 40s, and TOB has healed our marriage, our wounds and desires. Raised Catholic, rules protected us, but when they became the center, they created shame and fear. What drew us was not "avoid fun and desire," but "let Christ in it." What saddens us is how often Catholics who know TOB still look anxious and controlled. TOB can still sound more like "avoid danger" than "become free." Why does this instinct survive where the theology's rich, but the tone feels over-cautious and rule-centered? We'd like to witness a Christianity in which the closer Christ comes to our bodies, desires, and ordinary lives, the freer and more fully alive we become.
My wife and I have been married for 6 months, and were both virgins when we got married. For these past 6 months, she has not experienced a climax during our intimacy. We've tried a few different things including foreplay, different positions, and prolonging my own climax, but nothing seems to be helping. It is hard on her, feeling left out of the marital act, and hard as a man to feel less than adequate to please my wife. Where would you advise a young couple like us to go from here? What are your recommendations for this struggle?
I'm a cradle Catholic, happily married, 40-year-old mom of three children. My question feels very embarrassing and uncomfortable, but I don't know where else to go with it. I've recently begun going to Eucharistic adoration and have been growing my prayer life and praying for the Holy Spirit to stay close to me. Twice recently while I have been in adoration and deeply in prayer, I feel myself becoming sexually aroused. Eucharistic adoration has always brought about tears while I'm in prayer, but this feeling of arousal is new and feels shameful. Because of the feelings of shame, I've been going to adoration less often to avoid the feeling. Please help me to understand what I'm experiencing and is this sinful?ā ā
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
When He Mistakes Kindness for Love, Is the Holy Spirit Female?, & I Keep Falling Before My Wedding | ACW408
26 oct. 2026
01:01:30
This episode of ACW is sponsored by Ascensionās Alto!
I'm wondering if you have advice on how to handle a situation where kindness is interpreted as romantic interest. I want to treat others with dignity and view them the way God sees them. However, I've been in situations where a male friend will interpret this as romantic interest. Even when I politely decline and express that I only desire to be friends, I wonder if their agreement to remain friends is truly uncomplicated. I get the sense that they may still be hoping I'll change my mind. How can I navigate opposite-sex friendships in a warm and charitable way, while not unintentionally giving someone false hope or causing greater hurt?
In the 1860s, there was a dialogue amongst Calvinists that referred to the Holy Spirit as possessing womanly attributes. The thought was, since both man and woman are created in the image of God, and two members of the Trinity are decidedly masculine, there must naturally be a member who bequeathed the feminine nature of woman, leaving the Holy Spirit as the natural conclusion. I sense that this line of thought is deeply flawed, but I would love a definitive counterargument. This is purely for academic purposes and not a question of urgency or crisis of faith.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
Animation by Joshua Masterson, the Catholic Cartoonist. Check him out:
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
A Drunk Driver Killed My Family, She Rejects NFP, My Husband's Words Hurt | ACW407
19 oct. 2026
00:57:51
This episode of ACW is sponsored by Ascensionās Alto!
Questions answered this episode:
When I was 11, I was in a horrible car wreck. My mother and two younger brothers were killed, and I was critically injured. I learned to swallow the pain from my trauma for years. Six years ago, after having my first child, I got help and healing began. Becoming Catholic started my spiritual healing. A priest talked about joy in bearing our cross. I did not choose this cross, but I started thinking about inviting Jesus into my trauma. Your podcast opened a place in my soul I had closed off. I want to connect my cross to Jesus. Any tips on how I can enter into that journey?
I've been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years and thinking of proposing, but now I'm not so sure. We talked about marriage and agree on waiting a year before having kids. However, when I mentioned practicing natural family planning, she had never heard of it and felt scared and at risk. She doesn't think it's fair for a man to deposit his seed every time and suggested pulling out. Now I'm wondering whether to continue pursuing her. How can I have a better conversation with her, or handle making that difficult call? My heart is aching for an answer.
I'm a cradle Catholic, married this summer to a faithful Catholic man, and we are navigating communication challenges. While he focuses on the meaning behind words, I am sensitive to their delivery. I struggle to look past a raised or dismissive tone, partly because I witnessed my father speak harshly to my mother. Harsh words or a raised voice affect me deeply and bring me to tears. Am I being overly sensitive in wanting to be spoken to gently by my spouse? How can I become more emotionally resilient, and how much should tone and manner of communication matter within a marriage?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
Animation by Joshua Masterson, the Catholic Cartoonist. Check him out:
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
I Feel Guilty My Kids Need More Affection, Iām Angry at God Over Same-Sex Attraction, I Love Being Single but Feel Called to Date | ACW406
12 oct. 2026
01:02:26
Questions answered this episode:
I have four kids, ages 10 and under. We as humans are made body and soul, and our bodies are made to express loving connections to one another. I lean towards gentle parentingāhugging my kids often and holding their hands when they fall asleep. Sometimes I feel guilty because there isn't enough of me to go around. I feel like the older ones should need less physical touch as they grow up, yet they still yearn for it. I don't want to baby my kids, but I don't want to shun them. How can I parent in a way that balances how we are made, body and soul?
In the last two years, I've had a deep crisis trying to return to Christ after living in sin. I struggle with same-sex attraction. I believe in Catholic Church teachings and marriage, but I feel stripped away from this beauty. This thorn in my flesh forbids me from waiting for someone God will send. Priests choose celibacy, but my other choice feels like hell. Can you understand my pain? It brings anger toward God and difficulty trusting Him. Hearing about the theology of the body feels like a knife crossing my heart. What answer exists for pain so big and misunderstood as disobedience?
I've embraced being single as a gift from God for years. After recent events in my life, I thought I would be called to single life for another few years and was very excited. However, I've just met someone I feel a strong pull to and peace about dating. I love being single and have trouble giving it up. I believe this man is a gift from God, but am I allowed to remain single if I wish? How do you have the courage to say yes to dating for marriage? What are some benefits of marriage?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
The Theology of the Sacred Heart, I Want More Children But Iām Afraid of Losing Myself, and My Boyfriend Wonders If He Can Lead a Wife Older Than Him | ACW405
05 oct. 2026
00:58:53
Questions answered this episode:
My mom is going to design the glass windows of a church dedicated to the Sacred Heart. Can you explain the theology of the Sacred Heart of Jesus?
I'm in my late 20s, married with two young kids, and grew up with 10 siblings. My mom was very worn out, their marriage suffered, and they were not able to be there for me. I've forgiven my parents and appreciate their generosity, but my own births and pregnancies have been hard. Isn't it better for my family and community if I'm thriving as a person and present to others? I would really like one or two more babies, but to see a loose end date for this intense, demanding period of my life. Is that okay, or is it selfish to put my health and well-being over potential children?
I am older than my boyfriend, 1.4 years to be exact, and we're taking discernment seriously, having been dating almost two years. My being older has caused tension. My boyfriend's parents did not have a healthy Catholic marriage, and his mother is older than his father; I feel like he's projecting that relationship on ours. Though I am in engineering, my dream is to be a full-time homeschool mom should we get married. A priest recently asked my boyfriend, "How can you expect her to submit to your leadership when she's older than you?" Now that comment is causing my boyfriend reluctance and doubt.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Iām Confused About What It Means to Be Holy, Iām Single at 35 and Losing Hope for a Family, & Iām Afraid My Love for Priests Is Becoming Disordered | ACW404
28 sept. 2026
00:48:27
Questions answered this episode:
Learning to see the world through TOB lenses has given me such clarity and rest. My question today is about holiness. Could you explain what holiness actually is? I come from a Protestant background, and growing up, the word holy was reserved for God alone. It seemed using that word to describe other people, like Mary and the saints, in some way was an attempt to put them on the same level as God. Could you help me understand what it means to call someone holy and how that differs from God's holiness?
I'm a 35-year-old woman. I'm single and really have no prospects for dating. I have a fear that I'm running out of time to have children. This makes me very sad. Any advice for having trust in the Lord's plan for my life?
How does one separate a priest from Christ and from the graces we receive through the priest? When I have received a grace through a priest, I've found something in me grasping. I am happily married and love the priesthood, but on one level, it moves me to a greater love for our Eucharistic Lord, while on the other hand, there's perhaps something disordered in me that clings to the priest. This is further complicated by an experience where I wounded a priest due to lack of discretion. Now, when I have experiences of grace linked to a priest, I spend too much time examining my motivations and fearing self-deception, hoping you might shine some light.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
I Love My Baby So Much I Want to Eat Him, I'm Terrified Another Baby Will Destroy Our Finances, & How Can Singles Experience Marital Ecstasy? | ACW403
21 sept. 2026
01:02:34
Questions answered this episode:
I have a little girl, about 5 months old, and I was visiting a friend with a baby boy the same age. While visiting and playing with our babies, we both at one point pretended to eat our babies' feet, cheeks, and legs, and were talking about how we just wanted to eat them. And we really meant it! Obviously, we don't want to do our babies harm, but there is something in us that just wants to eat them. What is that desire?
I'm a devout practicing Catholic, conflicted over contraception in marriage. We have three children already, yet the idea to continue to have more children because church teaching is contraception is not allowed makes me feel like there's a gun to my head. I despise the idea of sinning against God using contraception, yet to continue to have children would leave us in financial ruin and reduce how much time my wife and I can spend with each child. Simple abstinence doesn't make sense to me within marriage, and natural family planning doesn't necessarily work without a regular period. Clearly, most Catholics must be using contraception. I am so conflicted. Please help.
How do marital union and climax give us a glimpse of heaven and eternal ecstasy with God? How do single people experience this foretaste of the feast to come? Are we SOL?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
I'm a single woman trying to discern if I'm called to marriage, but I'm not sure it would be responsible for me to have kids. I manage my depression, anxiety, and OCD well now because of downtime, sleep, and control over my day-to-day. However, I'm really bad at sleep deprivation and fear the stress, isolation, and lack of routines in early motherhood would cause my mental health to take a serious downturn into another depressive episode. As a Catholic, I know my marriage would need to be open to life. Is it fair for me to date while I'm unsure whether I should have childrenānow, or maybe ever?
Can you explain the logo of the Theology of the Body Institute? What is the meaning, the symbolism of its design, and who came up with the design?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Breastfeeding Changed How I Dress, God Is Calling Me to Heal Through Touch, & Iām Terrified to Face What Iāve Done | ACW401
07 sept. 2026
00:49:54
Questions answered this episode:
My question is regarding modesty for moms, particularly. Growing up and in dating and marriage, I was always careful to dress modestly. However, now that I'm a mom and breastfeeding especially, I find it a lot easier and more comfortable to wear shirts that are a little bit more low cut. It makes breastfeeding a lot easier. Part of me feels like my stretched out boobs aren't going to tempt anyone. I'm not trying to be self-deprecatingāI know my husband finds me beautiful, but I'm not the shape most men find conventionally attractive. If the whole point of modesty is to keep from leading men astray, and my mom body isn't going to be distracting anyone, does it really matter if I dress modestly or not? Especially when it comes to comfort and ease of breastfeeding, is it a big deal if it shows a little bit of cleavage? My aim isn't to lead anyone astray, but I feel like I'm not turning any heads no matter what I wear. What are your thoughts?
I was called into the world of healing, and God provided the funds for me to enter massage school. I'm a licensed massage therapist doing specialty bodywork, and I've witnessed incredible healing on my table. Many times, bodywork turns into talk therapy with my female clients, where the Holy Spirit moves me to reveal truths about our bodies and how we are organically connected to our creator. For the last year, I keep sensing I need to study the Theology of the Body. I'm looking into coming to a course in Pennsylvania. What course will be most applicable to my work?
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a gift. I feel like I'm at the beginning of my journey, but it is difficult because of my past, marked by periods where I lived far from God's love. I carry wounds I've caused to myself and others through sin. I have confessed them, but often hid them from myself without facing the damage left behind. I now understand that not only the acts, but their consequences need God's mercy. I know it's necessary to allow these wounds to heal, but I'm afraid. How can I look at these wounds without fear, without the desire to run away overwhelming me?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Did Jesus and Mary feel sexual desire without lust?, My daughter transitioned and Iām grieving the body I raised, & Why am I nervous about my wedding night? | ACW400
31 aoƻt 2026
01:08:50
Questions answered this episode:
I was listening to an episode in which you were asked whether Jesus and Mary had sexual desires. And you said they had natural sexual desires, but not lustful desires. The distinction between these two concepts is not obvious to me. I'm wondering if you can elaborate more on what Jesus and Mary experienced in more concrete terms related to sexual desire.
My daughter is 29 and identifies as transgender. We are a devout Catholic family, and after an emotionally turbulent time, we now have a relationship with this adult child. Although she no longer practices our faith, she supports our family. My most religious friends and family have been most distantāignoring birthdays and excluding herāwhile our secular family and friends have been welcoming and supportive. This contradiction hurts, since I believe God is working in each of our lives. Recently, my daughter told me she stopped taking testosterone, giving me hope that no one's journey is worth giving up on. How come my brothers and sisters in Christ can cut and run so easily? The loss of my daughter's breasts, ovaries, and womb is a deep sadness. It is the body that I washed, diapered, fed, and cuddled. The idea that a doctor had a more fitting design is a lie and a ruse. How come this is considered mutilation, but other cosmetic surgery is not? Someone has a body part they don't like and they change it to a "better look"? Please help me understand this.
I'm engaged to a wonderful man and we're getting married soon. I am a virgin; he's not. We have saved sex for marriage throughout our relationship, thanks be to God. I enjoy being affectionate with him by cuddling and kissing, but I am nervous about sex. In fact, I'm a little bit afraid. Is it because this is new to me, or because I grew up in a household where we never talked about these topics except 'don't do it'? Is this something you've come across in your work before? Any advice would be appreciated.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Carried My Exās Heaviest Sin but He Broke My Heart, Dating a Friend from Highschool After Seminary & Does My Gray Hair Make Me Undesirable? | ACW399
24 aoƻt 2026
01:02:29
Questions answered this episode:
Last year, I broke up with my boyfriend of three years, whom I really believed I was going to marry. One of our struggles was his porn addiction, which sadly led him to abuse his sister. Devastated, I chose to forgive and love him, reasoning that if God forgives us, I should do the same. He even introduced me to TOB. But now I wonder: how can he and his sister heal when she acts like he doesn't exist? How can TOB apply here? I'm angry because I was willing to carry this cross with him, but he didn't fight for us.
I went to high school with a woman who I became friends with senior year. At no point in high school were we ever interested in the other. After high school I went to seminary for two years before discerning to leave seminary. I left about 10 months ago, and about one month ago started dating this woman from high school. We both value our friendship, have similar goals and dreams for the future, and take our faith very seriously. I asked her out to see if God could be doing something here, and we're giving it time to see if physical attraction for each other grows through the process. Before asking her out, I found a lot of fear in wondering what others, especially friends from high school who really aren't true friends, would think. Do you have any advice for me?
I struggle with feeling like I need to look "physically perfect" in order for a man to like me and to want to enter into a relationship with me. Part of this comes from messages that I've received from my parents since a young age, such as receiving comments when something is out of place or pointing out when something is less than desirable, such as a pimple on my face. In addition to hearing negative comments about other people's weight and physical appearance, a big part of it also stems from hearing that men are more influenced by the physical than women are. Now that I'm pushing 30 and I'm getting more gray hairs, I'm left feeling like no man will desire me now and enter into a relationship with me. On the flip side, I also feel at a loss since there have been men in my life who seek me out for my physical appearance, but then lose interest once they get to know me, leaving me feeling like my personality is lacking. As I age, I'm left feeling like I will have nothing left to attract the husband I so desire, even though some part of me knows cognitively that's not true. Do you have any insight or advice about this from a TOB perspective?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Attracted to pregnant women, Rigorist Priest Quoting Saints on Sexual Intimacy, & How Wendy Coped with Christopherās āCluelessnessā| ACW398
17 aoƻt 2026
01:10:06
Questions answered this episode:
How can you tell if you're looking at someone with lust or with proper reverence? I saw a beautiful woman during mass one day, and I just wanted to look at her and admire her beauty. But I feel like there's a fine line between awe and lust that I can't quite pinpoint. Or another example: for some reason, I find a woman's pregnancy attractive. But am I looking at them just for pleasure or with awe of the fact that they have another life within them?
Iām struggling with scrupulosity around marital intimacy and differing opinions among Catholics about what is permissible. I came across a rigorous podcast by a priest imposing strict boundaries using Saint Alphonsus and Saint Thomas Aquinas. His guidelines are much stricter than what most modern theologians teach. I'm confused, afraid, and feel my soul is on the line. As a traditional Catholic, I worry itās safer to follow the more rigorous opinion, though Iād rather take the simpler, more enjoyable approach. How do I know what is right, approach the marriage bed without fear, and be confident that modern theologians are safe to follow?
Just yesterday, I listened to your testimony on the podcast Restore the Glory, where you talked about sexual healing and your growth in loving your wife Wendy better. It was such a blessing for me. While I was listening, I wondered what Wendy's side of the story was, how she lived and felt in those first 10 years of your marriage, how she struggled, how she realized you didn't have a clue, and mostly, how she coped to love you deeply, rightly, and truly, even though she felt immense hunger for your true love. So, Wendy, could you please share your side of the story?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
When we profess we believe in the resurrection of the body, we're saying that when Christ returns, we will be reunited, body and soul. I've heard that because of this, Catholics aren't supposed to scatter ashes. If God is omnipotent, why does that matter? What is the difference between ashes being scattered over a lake or bodies decomposing into the soil? It pains me to think someone won't experience resurrection because their family sought closure. Further, does this affect the Catholic stance on donating organs after death or donating your cadaver to medical students?
I'm a 26-year-old Catholic. My question is about being single and experiencing sexual desire. Some days, I feel at peace being single, but other days, I deeply long for a husband, sex, and intimacyāto become one flesh and know that I'm loved and wanted. I understand in my head that marriage and sex aren't the ultimate fulfillment, but sometimes that truth falls on a deaf heart. Why would God place such a strong desire in us and ask us to wait, or possibly never experience it? How can I learn to open my heart and trust Him in that tension?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
My C-Section Still Haunts Me, What Does the Church Say About Contraception After Rape?, & My OCD Makes Me Hurt Myself | ACW396
03 aoƻt 2026
01:10:13
Questions answered this episode:
In the Theology of the Body, you speak about how the female body reflects God's love through its capacity to receive, nurture, and bring forth life. After a traumatic first C-section, I struggle to understand how this truth applies to my story. Although I later had a second C-section, it's the trauma of that first birth I continue to carry. At times I feel my body failed me and find it difficult to see it as a gift. How can I understand my body through Theology of the Body after this trauma and find healing?
I recently read that there's some debate among Catholic theologians on whether contraception in the case of rape is permissible. The source said, after confirming that conception has not yet taken place so as not to inadvertently end the life of a conceived child, contraception can be taken so as to prevent a pregnancy resulting from rape, almost as a form of self-defense. Is this true? I had always thought contraception was intrinsically evil, meaning it is never allowed to be used in any circumstance whatsoever. I was wondering if you could shed some light on it.
How can TOB relate to mental disorders? After all, the brain is an organ too, which can suffer from incurable illnesses. For example, I recently learned I have obsessive-compulsive disorder, which leads me to hurt my body through compulsions like scratching and self-punishing. I also struggle with post-traumatic stress symptoms causing unpleasant physical sensations during flashbacks. It is hard enough to see my body as something good, and even harder to love my brain. I feel a tendency to view this as a brain versus body division, and I'm wondering how to live more in the brain-body connection.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Should I Keep My Chastity Streak?, Why Does Virginity Sound Holier Than My Marriage?, and Is Sex Okay When We Feel Maxed Out? | ACW395
27 juil. 2026
01:09:39
Questions answered this episode:
I'm a young man currently discerning the priesthood and applying to enter the seminary next year. For most of my life, I've struggled with lust and masturbation. Even though I'm in control today, I know this is a cross I have to bear for the rest of my life. What is your opinion on day counting or keeping streaks as an additional way of motivating myself to stay pure and chaste? Second, is this journey of growing in chastity for the priesthood perhaps a way for God to actually prepare me for marriage and to treat a future wife rightly and well?
Iāve been doing the 33-day consecration to St. Joseph, and Iām on day 13. Iām deeply disturbed by the readings today, especially ones that talk about the virginity of St. Joseph and even the virginity of St. John the Apostle. Somehow, in the entire text, it gives the idea that remaining a virgin is somehow better, more pure, and more chaste than being married and trying for children. I understand why Mary was virgin, at least a little bit now, mostly because of TOB. But the fact that St. Joseph and even St. John the Apostle are virgins simply because it is pure, and God will only give Mary to a virgin, somehow discourages me greatly from performing my marital duties to my husband. Why is being a virgin pure, and marriage not pure?
My husband and I have four children, ages six, four, two, and almost nine months. We both work full-time and have always been open to life. But at the moment, we do really feel at capacity. I am still exclusively breastfeeding the baby. We understand the church's teaching on contraception, and we're not using contraception. But I would like to know what the church teaches on sex in a marriage when you do not feel open to life in the season that you're in.
Deep sea diving into your spouse's heart, Theology of a newborn's first cry, and Financial help for vasectomy reversal | ACW394
20 juil. 2026
00:46:19
Questions answered this episode:
1. You talk on your podcast about how a spouse is vast and deep interiorly, using the analogy of deep sea diving. If you commit to exploring that interior life, you'll never be bored. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. Recently, some things from our pre-marriage days came up. That hurt deeply, but helped us grow deeper together. The past seems like the most obvious place to go deep sea diving, but we don't want to constantly hash out past events. How can we apply your analogy to the present and future? What does this practically look like?
2. I was recently watching a video of a doctor trying to save a newborn's life since he was not breathing. Someone said in the comments, "That cry was all I wanted to hear." That led me to ask myself: why is crying the first thing we do when we are born? And why is that cry basically vital in order to know the baby's okay? Do you think that has something theological to tell us? Is it like some cry of the heart that's manifested through our body as we come out of our mother's womb?
3. I had a vasectomy before I converted, and now would very much like to get it reversed. Obviously, the cost is a huge hurdle, and I understand that you have helped many people find the resources to have this done. I'm wondering how I can achieve this. Thank you in advance, and God bless you for the incredible work that you do.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Finding a spiritual director without replacing your spouse, TOB & hunting, and Panic attack during the marital | ACW393
13 juil. 2026
00:50:52
Questions answered this episode:
1. I've been married for over 10 years. My spouse and I have a good solid faith filled relationship. Sometimes, however, the thought of having a spiritual director sounds interesting to me. I just wondered what spiritual direction looks like for a married individual. Part of me feels like having a spiritual director would take the place of sharing deep things with my spouse. How can spiritual direction build upon an already solid marriage without detracting from it?
2. Does theology the body teach us anything about hunting? I'm an avid deer hunter. I respect the lives of animals. But I also know that God commanded man to have authority and care for the animals, allowing us to eat meat. However, I feel this tug at my heart in regards to hunting that I didn't feel before. I've come to realize that taking the life of an animal can be profound and treated with respect. I've hunted with guys who not feel this respect. They have more of a warlike mentality. Do you have any thoughts for me?
3. I'm a licensed clinical social worker working through sexual issues with a client. The wife reports they were taught TOB in college that they should not end the sexual encounter until the wife has an orgasm. The issue is that the encounter is going really long; the husband is becoming frustrated and tired, and the wife will often have a panic attack due to the stress while trying to climax. They are devoutly Catholic and want to follow what the church teaches. What would you tell someone experiencing psychological or emotional distress during the sexual encounter, according to Theology of the Body?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Spontaneous prayer with your boyfriend, The raw truth about fornication, and What to do when making love hurts. | ACW392
06 juil. 2026
00:59:02
Questions answered this episode:
I'm currently dating a good Catholic man. I feel we may be called to marriage, and a deepening of our prayer life together may help us better discern that call. We pray the rosary together every night, which has been a tremendous blessing. But I feel the need to expose my heart in prayer with him in a way that the rosary does not fully allow. I was not raised in a family that prayed aloud, so I'm not sure how to start this practice with him. What are some practical ways dating Catholic couples can deepen their prayer life together?
Body is self, inseparable from soul because we are a body-soul composite. Fornication is a real bodily union, which must mean total union of persons. Doesn't union mean self-gift? But I thought real self-gift can only happen in marriage. I thought for a while in fornication it was less of a gift of the body and more like giving access to the body, but that would seem too little in light of 1 Corinthians chapter 6 verse 16: "Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, the two will become one flesh."
I converted two years ago after listening to your episode, and I've now been married for two months to a wonderful Catholic man. We focused on second virginity, and at first, everything about our marital union was incredible. Then it became difficult for me to reach climax at the same time as him. Even though afterward he tries to help me, I'm not able to, and I end up feeling upset and in pain. It has been very draining and sometimes makes me not want to have sexual relations at all, thinking about the emotional toil and potential pain. Do you have any encouragement for this frustrated wife?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Were We Really Married That First Night?, My Boyfriend's Secret Lust Broke My Heart, and Should Boys Still Be Circumcised? | ACW391
29 juin 2026
00:56:20
Questions answered this episode:
Suppose a couple marries in the Catholic Church but mutually agrees to use contraception initially, intending to have children later. On their wedding night, they engage in marital relations. After seven years, they stop using contraception and have two children. In this situation, would their marriage be considered consummated from the wedding night, even though they were not open to life then, or would consummation occur later when they open themselves to having children? Additionally, if they return to using contraception after their second child, how does this affect the understanding of their marriage's consummation and integrity?
My heart aches because Iāve struggled with my body image since youth, fueled by social media and boys rating girls. I don't have those drastic curvy proportions guys find ideal, and I feared Iād never be a manās first choice. When I met my boyfriend, he made me feel like the only girl in the world, and I finally started loving my body. However, I recently found out he was hiding secret lustful habits. Iām shocked and my past pain is back. How can I ever feel beautiful or get married now? I just want to wear loose clothing and make my body disappear.
Is it still important for boys to be circumcised now that Jesus has come to establish the new law? I've heard arguments for both sides, and I'm confused.
I've been wrestling with one thing you said about gender and how only men can be priests. The context, from what I recall, was that only men can be priests because the priest is the groom, or is acting as Christ in the mass, who is the groom. That makes the congregation the bride. If women can't be priests because they are women, how can a man be a bride in the congregation?
Five years ago, my dad committed suicide. The experience left me in shock, and I still feel that shock today. At the time, I felt the need to be strong for my mom and sister, holding everything together. Now, I sense God is inviting me to revisit this wound and allow myself to grieve more deeply. However, I find it very difficult to access my emotions; I want to cry, but I can't. Recently, through learning more about TOB, I've found myself struggling to understand how to interpret what happened, especially in relation to the dignity of the body and suffering.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Dark fantasies threaten marriage, Did Jesus have a body before birth?, and Vaginismus fears | ACW389
15 juin 2026
01:13:03
Questions answered this episode:
Hi Christopher and Wendy, this is Matt. I wrote previously regarding a season of deep relational pain and sexual brokenness in our marriage. First, we have to share a miracle. The sacrifice you suggestedāasking the global community to fast for our healingābrought a new wine of healing and self-giving love that seemed impossible. We're now in a golden hour of intense reconnection. However, as this fire wakes up, we've discovered deeper roots of lustful fantasies. We're committed to total transparency to avoid past secrecy, but we're struggling with the prudence of sharing. How do we navigate total transparency without that sharing becoming over-arousal or fueling the concupiscence we're trying to purify? We aren't sure how to face our desires without being taken by them.
My question is about something that I've been thinking about for a while. I'm thinking about transfiguration. If Jesus has always been part of the salvation plan, and always exists, was the true bodily reality of Jesus what the apostles saw that day at the transfiguration? It makes me wonder, did Jesus have a bodily nature before the incarnation and entering into history? How? Or did his complete and true nature begin at that moment in history? Am I understanding it wrong?
I'm in my 20s and about to get engaged to a wonderful man. We've been working through your Love and Responsibility series together, which has been a blessing. However, I struggle with vaginismus, mainly traced back to a traumatic experience at the doctor's office when I was 14. I'm starting physical therapy soon, but this is a major place of fear for my future marriage. How do we talk about this appropriately before marriage and work through it together? What advice would you have for us in dealing with this woundedness? How do I heal physically and spiritually to cultivate openness towards the Lord's love and my future spouse?
Is Latin Mass superior?, He wants me in revealing clothes, and Coming back to Church risks my marriage. | ACW388
08 juin 2026
00:56:07
Questions answered this episode:
I just wondered about Latin Masses in the Catholic Church. I live in the United States, and no one speaks Latin here, so I wondered what the draw is to go to Latin Masses. It feels like in Catholic circles those who go to Latin Masses are considered more Catholic. If God made our bodies and speaks to us through our bodies, shouldn't it be more helpful to go to a mass that we can understand using our sense of hearing? Or am I just not as far along in my faith life as those who appreciate Latin Mass?
My husband and I have been married for almost four years. We're both Catholic, but my husband doesn't think I look beautiful unless I wear tight, revealing clothes. We struggle a lot when he suggests I wear something with a lower neckline or that's skin tight. I'm not comfortable wearing stuff like that, but he feels that I'm not trying to be beautiful for him, even if I wear nice, slightly more modest clothes. How can I love my husband and not be hurt by his wanting me to wear more revealing clothes? And how can we find a middle ground here?
My wife and I were married outside the Catholic Church. For the past eight years, I've not practiced my faith. However, as of late, I have had a deep and real call back to the church. In some way, my wife was blindsided by this decision, and not thrilled. I've taken a step back from re-entering the church out of fear of conflict between my wife and me. This has made for some serious challenges in our marriage. Is it sinful for us to come together in our nuptial embrace outside of the church where I've found the truth to be? Is our marriage invalid for this same reason?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Why is Jesus clothed on the Cross, I'm terrified my baby will see us, & I feel grossed out by intimacy | ACW387
01 juin 2026
01:01:40
Questions answered this episode:
While meditating on the crucifixion, I wondered why our Lord is not completely nude in art portraying it. My research pointed to reverence for Christ and preserving his dignity, reading that he "voluntarily accepted humiliation, but it need not be perpetuated." While this makes sense, I wonder how to look at this through a TOB lens. Why does it feel irreverent to depict Jesus nude, when other art depicting naked bodies, like in the Sistine Chapel, is praised for showing the beauty of the human body? Is it because of our fallen nature, or is there something more theological I'm missing?Ā
As a newlywed, my husband and I just celebrated our two-year wedding anniversary. Six months ago, we were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. My postpartum journey was difficult, and we are trying to navigate intimacy in this new stage of life. I especially struggle with a new anxiety, petrified that I will do something wrong and mess up my daughter. This has translated into me showing less attention to my husband. My brain does not seem wired towards the same level of intimacy as before. Also, our daughter's crib is right next to our bed. I am terrified she will wake up, see us in the marital embrace, and it will scare or scar her for life. Any advice?
I'm 25, serving full-time in college ministry. One thing I've been terribly afraid to address is when my dad had "the talk." Instead of discussing marriage, he simply said of masturbation, "It's normal and natural, just make sure to clean up after yourself." At 12, this left me with a view of my sexuality akin to poopingājust a natural thing you clean up after. Now, called to marriage, I see the beauty of the theory, but I frustratingly feel grossed out by the reality of the marital embrace. How can I partner with Christ in untwisting this in my heart?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Eight miscarriages echo Mary's grief, Is polygyny Biblical?, and When period cramps prompt masculine wishes. | ACW386
25 mai 2026
01:06:16
Questions answered this episode:
I hope you can help connect the dots with something stirring in my heart. In your Marian mystery course, you discussed when the Bible mentions Jerusalem, it's ultimately a reference to Mary, and how a woman opening herself to conception participates in Mary's Fiat. Since then, I've suffered eight miscarriages. On Palm Sunday, hearing Jesus was entering Jerusalem, I felt intense pain. Given the Jerusalem-Mary connection, I thought of my children whose innocent bodies faced death in my womb, reflecting on Mary holding her innocent Son's body. Are these connections appropriate? If Jerusalem represents Mary, why did Jesus enter there to die? How do we connect this to the hope of resurrected life?
I've recently come across a couple conservative Protestant guys, one a pastor, arguing in favor of polygamyāspecifically, polygyny. It got me thinking about why we no longer practice this. They're not arguing to make it standard, but rather to allow it as one of three moral options for some people, alongside celibacy or traditional monogamous marriage. One argument they made is that God never changes. Since saints in the Old Testament practiced this, they argue it is not intrinsically sinful like homosexuality. I realize polygamy can lend itself to a lot of abuse. But, could there be situations where it could be a legitimate God honoring option? If not, why not and is polygamy sinful?
I'm a 31-year-old single woman. Is it sinful to wonder what it would be like to be a man? Don't get me wrong, I enjoy being a woman. However, it's easy to get frustrated dealing with a monthly period, pain, and PMS. Half of each month feels thrown out of whack, and sometimes I think it would be easier to be a man. I don't want to change my body or gender; I just get frustrated. A friend said these difficulties make us strongerāis she onto something? I pray thanking God for how I was made, but I don't feel all that thankful. Do you have advice?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Enduring gossip of a former partnerās promiscuity, Losing physical affection after enforcing a strict kissing boundary, and Shifting from same-sex desires to fantasies. | ACW385
18 mai 2026
01:03:52
Questions answered this episode:
In my previous relationship, we were trying to abstain from sex. I knew he was watching porn and working on that too. A week after breaking up, he started sleeping with someone else and since has been sleeping with many people. Word that I don't care to hear spreads quickly in a small town. I'm trying to identify the lie from the enemy in this. Right now, I just know that it hurts very deeply. I'm also trying to find the truth in all this pain.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months. Early on, we discussed physical boundaries. I shared that kissing with the intention of increasing arousal crosses a line for me, while he felt anything short of sex was acceptable. A few times I've pulled away because the kissing becomes too arousing. This causes him to shut down and get hurt, feeling he has done something wrong. Now, his response is to show barely any physical affection. How can I navigate this in a way that honors our boundaries without hurting him or falling into lust?
I'm a 27-year-old man who has struggled with same-sex attraction my entire life. In recent years, I've gained control over my desires through inner healing, dedicating time to embracing my masculine identity and building good male friendships. Listening to your podcast, I realized navigating my disoriented attractions is not about repressing my eros out of shame, but asking God for moreāthat He might help me see the true beauty in all things, even women. I sometimes entertain fantasies of women, seeking companionship and human connection. I enjoy these because they seem more ordered than my desires for the same sex. I'm not sure if this is what it means to expand my eros.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Crying through the liturgical year, Standing firm on chastity, and Healing from a boyfriendās hidden lust. | ACW384
11 mai 2026
00:54:13
Questions answered this episode:
āI cry every Christmas season when I reflect on the baby Jesus. Like if I imagine myself holding him. And it's not just at Christmas, I've also cried during Advent, Lent, Holy Week, especially the Easter Vigil, Easter Sunday, and Pentecost Sunday. Sometimes I cry more than the prophet Jeremiah. Do you think I'm experiencing the gift of tears or just something else entirely?ā
"I feel passionately about living out the teachings of Theology of the Body in my life and future marriage. Iām finding a dilemma that many men, Catholic men, want to break off a relationship when they find out I donāt want to have sex or engage in any acts where orgasms are sought separate from sex open to life in marriage. Iāve tried to explain it is about making love and loving one another in the way God loves. But I havenāt been able to get any man to see the beauty and desire this with me, and Iām starting to get discouraged. Iām trusting in Godās plan, but Iām finding temptation to put up with occasional sin in my marriage, hoping that the holy sex will change the manās heart one day. Can you give me advice?"
āI feel heartbroken. I found out that my boyfriend's pornography use and social media lust, which I previously thought was in the past, had relapsed and continued throughout our relationship for years without me knowing. He has now stopped and is almost free of this issue. What can I do to make this pain go away? I feel sad to think of him looking at other women that way. How can I still feel like our marriage will be special in that way, if while he was dating me, he chose to look at other women without me knowing? I just want this pain to go away so I can move forward in our relationship without feeling like I won't be enough for him or comparing myself to these women."
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Proving Recovery from Porn to a Partner, Re-evaluating Male Shirtlessness & The Ethics of Menstrual Cups | ACW383
04 mai 2026
00:50:01
Questions answered this episode:
I want to fully understand Theology of the Body but struggle due to a history with porn addiction. Exposed at 13, I fell away from the Church and entered an ill-advised marriage where porn use was encouraged, ending in divorce. Now, by the grace of God, itās been several months since Iāve slipped. Resources like the Matt Fradd show, Internal Family Systems, and Covenant Eyes have helped immensely. Iāve met an amazing woman, but when I told her about my addiction, she expressed concern that I haven't done enough to address it. How do I know if Iāve done enough? What resources would you recommend?
Are there any feminine hygiene products that are not acceptable? Tampons are required to go into the body, and menstrual cups or disks even require a woman to actually reach her hand up her vagina to insert and to remove. This feels a little bit like the line towards masturbation is being pushed.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Healing Sexual Performance Wounds, Wearing āSexyā Attire in Marriage & How Find Godās Gaze | ACW382
27 avr. 2026
01:06:02
Questions answered this episode:
I have a question about Second Chronicles, chapter seven, verse fourteen, which says: 'If my people, who are called by my name, humble themselves, pray, seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.' My question is: how do we seek Godās face? I hear it all the time, but Iām not sure exactly how to do it. Is it through adoration, reading scripture, or sitting silently in His presence?"
My wife and I have been married for 11 years with six children. Before we met, she had a four-year romantic relationship that was not chastened. Through the Lordās work, we lived a call to chastity in our engagement and marriage. While there has been healing from her past wounds, we realize more is needed. When we married, my wife was shocked that she had less desire for sex than in her previous relationship. We also struggle for her to reach climax, which wasn't a problem then. This leaves me feeling unworthy, incapable, and unloved, despite her deep love for me. Weāve tried applying Theology of the Body to our struggle, but we donāt know how.
Can you talk about lingerie or cute short dresses only used within the privacy of a husband and wife in Catholic teaching? I always thought about it as something beautiful that looks good and that I would love to wear, but not outsideāsomething that my husband could enjoy between us privately. Iām worried it is not good to wear anything āsexyā or short, flattering on the body, and clearly inviting even for your husband. I donāt know if this is scrupulosity or fear that it will be bad for our marriage, for him, or for me. For context, Iām not married yet but soon will be and Iām preparing excitedly.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Finding Beauty in a Drooling Pope, the Sexual Desire of a Single Woman, and a Widow's Exhausting Loneliness. | ACW381
20 avr. 2026
00:52:20
Questions answered this episode:
As a teacher of Theology of the Body, I was presented with a picture of Pope John Paul II by a former student. Before seeing it, I hoped for an image of his younger, energetic selfāskiing, hiking, or writing. However, it was a close-up of him as an elderly man, hunched in a chair. I felt a wave of disappointment, realizing I struggle to see the beauty in the entirety of life and the aging body. I know I have healing to do in my heart; how do I begin to see the whole life cycle as a gift?
As a single woman, is it wrong to have sexual desires? I donāt think about men lustfully; itās more of a deep ache to be loved, married, and have sex. At random times, I wish I had someone to hold, caress, and embrace in the marital act. My body also shows physical signs of arousal, especially during certain times in my cycleāperhaps Godās way of giving me a foretaste of the New Jerusalem. Iāve tried offering my desires to God in prayer, but I still feel this ache in my heart and body.
I am 60 years old and have been a widow for eight years. My husband and I were looking forward to a new chapter of intimacy after our children moved out, but then he died. In my anger and grief, I invited a deviant sexual spirit upon myself, feeling it was ridiculous to live without sex or marriage at my age. Though I have since repented, I feel heartbroken and betrayed by God. I feel I was created to be a wife, yet I am exhausted from being alone with no mate in sight. I simply want to know: why?
---
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
Joyfully Surrender to a Crying Infant, Is God In Vulgar Art, & Trading Pornography For True Intimacy. | ACW380
13 avr. 2026
01:02:01
Questions answered this episode:
Iām a first-time mom to an almost six-month-old, and motherhood is both the most beautiful and difficult thing Iāve ever done. I struggle with knowing what it means to lay down my life as a parent. In other relationships, weāre taught to set healthy boundaries and ensure our needs are met, but in motherhood, even my basic needsāsleep, exercise, seeing friendsāfeel like sacrifices. The other night, a failed attempt at extra sleep left me frustrated with God, my baby, my husband, and myself for not sacrificing more joyfully. I genuinely love my daughter, but how do I truly learn to joyfully surrender? Why does the Lord ask so much of me?
I know Christopher has mentioned in the past that music and movies can be a pathway to feeling the Lordās love and grace. But what about movies and music that are vulgar or sexually explicit? Is this holy in its own way, or is it something that should be avoided?
In a YouTube video, I heard Christopher distinguish between "being gay" and experiencing same-sex attraction. I began to understand that my sexual dimension doesn't define my whole person, yet that "something more" has become invisible due to pornography. I mostly feel desire, longing, and conflict. I felt that if I fought my inclinations, there would be nothing left of me; need for love and pleasure became so intertwined I couldn't distinguish them. I viewed my lack of a physical partner as proof Iām unworthy of love. After much pain, Iām asking if thereās another way to fill this voidāone that seeks deep, soulful closeness rather than just pleasure.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Does God Command Mutilation?, Struggling with feeling loved because of weight, & Why is Mary the Star of the Sea? | ACW379
06 avr. 2026
00:54:57
Questions answered this episode:
In Matthew 5:30, Jesus says, 'And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you...' In the spirit of the theology of the body, the idea of cutting off one's own hand seems like a gross insult to God's image in which we are made. I can understand amputation for medical reasons, but I cannot help but think that sin is a matter of will, so no kind of concupiscence could merit amputation. But in believing that, I would seem to be going against Christ's guidance here. How are we to understand this commission to go so far as to irrevocably alter the body in service of mitigating concupiscence?
I struggle to believe that I can be loved because of the way I look. Growing up, I'm told that no man will ever love me because I'm fat and that in order to be lovable I have to be skinny. I was diagnosed with PCOS, which explains the uncontrollable weight gain. I do my best to take care of myself but my body does not lose weight so easily. Recently, there has been a guy who has been flirting with me, but I have a hard time believing he's interested because how can someone love me looking the way I look? I don't know what to do or how to change my concept of myself.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
The girl who I thought I would marry had suddenly broken up with me. I'm happy to report that the Lord's healing has been present, and He has worked a lot of good in my heart. However, I find that my romantic desire is seemingly broken. After two or three dates, I feel like my heart just gives out. Like a battery in a TV remoteāit comes back on for a little while and then it goes back out. How can I cultivate eros again? I know that Iām supposed to feel it.
My husband and I will celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. I am now navigating perimenopause and have been diagnosed with potentially dangerous ovarian cysts, adenomyosis and endometriosis. Doctors have suggested medically inducing menopause to stop ovarian function and potentially stop the progression of these conditions. My husband made the remark that inducing menopause artificially is a way of making me intentionally sterile. I am now torn by the idea that I would be committing mortal sin.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
My Mom Hates Her Body, Surprise Baby Shame, & Jesus as Bridegroom Feels Wrong | ACW377
23 mars 2026
00:55:13
Questions answered this episode:
Growing up, my mom has always talked poorly about her body. As a kid, I remember her asking my dad if other women were attractive and making demeaning comments about women who weighed more than her. Now Iām engaged, and as she chooses a dress, she keeps saying sheāll lose 10 pounds and worries because my future mother-in-law is thinner. She didnāt have parents who delighted in her and often seeks reassurance from us. Should I keep saying, āYouāre beautiful,ā or is there something better I could say?
My wife and I just found out weāre pregnant with our third babyāonly four months after our secondāand weāre only 25. Weāve worked with NFP coaches and followed different methods, yet here we are. We would have chosen abstinence if we knew it wouldnāt work, but itās too late now. I feel anxious and ashamed, like I didnāt sacrifice enough. People around us donāt understand this lifestyle, and I feel tempted to hide the pregnancy. How do I talk to others about this, and how do I embrace this child with love?
I struggle with the idea of Jesus as the bridegroom. Iāve heard you talk about it, but I still donāt understand. In one episode, a woman in abusive marriages longed for Jesus instead, and you said she could offer her suffering for others. I donāt know her situation, but the Church teaches against divorce, so how does that fit? Isnāt marriage about leading your spouse to heaven? I also struggle with the idea of not being married in heaven. I donāt want to offend GodāI just donāt understand.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Why Do Men Have Nipples, The Beautiful Girl Never Chose Me, How Do I Share Christ Without Being That Guy | ACW376
16 mars 2026
00:55:29
Questions answered this episode:
Is there any insight through the lens of theology of the body as to why God gave male humans and male mammals nipples? It has always baffled me.
When I was 14, I watched the first person I ever loved choose my best friend instead of me, right in front of my eyes. This event seared into my body a story, or perhaps a lie, which is: the most beautiful one will never choose me. Since then, I've been obsessed with finding the perfect girl and somehow convincing her to love me. As you can imagine, this has led to several failed dating relationships that all followed the same pattern of initial infatuation, disillusionment, and finally separation. I recently went back to confession for the first time in several years, and after telling the priest this story, he counseled me to meditate on the doctrine of electionāthat God, the most beautiful one, has already chosen me. I am so thankful for God's love, but I can't help feeling it is insufficient to meet this need and heal my wound. After all, didn't God choose me purely out of His own grace and love rather than because of anything in me that was desirable or beautiful? How then can I trust that I am worthy of love?
As a disciple of Christ, I feel a desire to take his call to evangelize more seriously. I love my faith and want others to taste and see its beauty too. However, Iām not sure of the best approach. I have some secular coworkers, and the lifestyle they talk about seems so out of touch with the gospel. Iām not sure how to relate it to them without coming across as a goody-two-shoes. How can I go about spreading the word in situations such as those and shining the light of Christ?
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Is Suffering a Type of Spiritual Intercourse?, Anxious About Mutual Climax, How Do I Hear God About Marriage? | ACW375
09 mars 2026
00:49:03
Questions answered this episode:
You often say the cross is the marriage bed. If Jesus took on all suffering there, can embracing our own suffering be a marital act? When we accept daily sufferingsāfrom trauma to small annoyancesādoes that become, bluntly, a kind of spiritual intercourse? What would that mean practically? Iād love your thoughts.
My husband and I have been married three years and have never climaxed at the same time. I feel frustrated and even scrupulous about it. Iāve heard that simultaneous climax is ideal, but I donāt understand how thatās physically possible. When Iām left unsatisfied after my husband finishes, I worry itās sinful for him to help me climax afterward. How can we pursue mutual climax without becoming scrupulous or overly technical?
Iām almost 33 and have been with my boyfriend for five years. Weāve grown deeply in faith, and heās a wonderful Catholic man. I long for marriage and children, but Iām stuck discerning whether heās the one. Iāve prayed fervently, gone to adoration, and tried to surrender my anxieties to God, yet I feel no clarity. Time feels like itās running out, and heās patiently waiting. How do I truly hear Godās voice in such a big decision?Ā
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
I understand that the only place for a manās seed is the womanās garden, but what about during pregnancy? Since itās not possible for the couple to conceive another child, Iām not sure if or why it would matter.
Iāve always had a special devotion to Jesus in the Eucharist and knew from a young age that it is truly His body, blood, soul, and divinity. I receive Him with great joy, awe, and delight, but sometimes after Communion I feel an ache in my heart for an earthly spouse. By Godās grace, Iāve remained chaste for 38 years and would joyfully give my virginity to my future spouse if God wills marriage. Why might this desire arise after receiving the Eucharist?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
A man in his 50s had a vasectomy years ago and, after a conversion, is now discerning marriage with a Catholic woman of childbearing age. Must he attempt a reversal for the marriage to be valid? If itās possible and not life-threatening, should he try to restore his generative power? If it fails and he remains sterile, that wouldnāt invalidate the marriage if she knows. But if he refuses to consider reversal, is he excluding the procreative meaning of marriage? Can fear of risks justify not attempting it?
The Catholic Church teaches that Mary was a perpetual virgin. The Church also teaches that a man and woman are not truly married until the marriage has been consummated. So how can we call Joseph the spouse of Mary if their marriage wasnāt consummated, and why is it important that Mary remains a virgin?
My roommate, who is Catholic, just told me sheās moving because sheās dating a woman. I had no idea sheās been experiencing same-sex attraction for years. She said sheās talked with the Lord and doesnāt feel Heās telling her this is wrong. Sheās not looking for guidance in resisting it or open to correction. How do I love and support her without compromising my beliefs? She asked me not to tell anyone, but I feel very alone and troubled. Will she keep going to Mass? Would she receive the Eucharist? Why does she feel such a deep connection and love with this woman?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
How do you put into words what a soul is, especially when explaining it to a child in light of theology of the bodyāthat our bodies and souls are both important and are meant to be together in heaven one day?
I struggle with premature ejaculation and, despite years of sincere effort in marriage, havenāt found a real solution. I want to be a true gift to my wife, but this makes it hard for her to reach climax and leaves me ashamed, even though sheās loving and supportive. Most advice is secular and recommends āedging,ā which feels morally wrong. Iām stuck between wanting help and staying faithful to Church teaching. Are there faithful resources or approaches youād recommend?
Iām a sophomore who recently ended my first relationship with a Catholic convert I met at the Newman Center. After two painful months, he broke up with me, taking the blame and telling me to pray. Since then, daily Mass and prayer have changed my heart. I realize I made him an idol and have surrendered this to God. I feel called to apologize and try again, but he asked for time. Should I move on or risk rejection and seek his forgiveness?
I am a single man in my twenties and have committed to reserving sex for marriage. People often try to dissuade me by bringing up āsexual compatibility,ā telling stories of couples who waited and later divorced because they werenāt compatible in the marriage bed. I struggle to respond since I canāt speak from experience about what sexual compatibility or good sex really means. My gut tells me thereās something selfish in this reasoning, yet every married couple hopes sexual intimacy will be wonderful for both spouses. So what is sexual compatibility, and is it really possible for a man and woman to be sexually incompatible?
I am a young woman with a fantastic boyfriend. When we kiss, it usually lasts for only a second, but Iāve found myself wanting a kiss from him that is longer and more intimate. I also have this desire when it comes to being held by him or cuddling. Thankfully, we both love theology of the body and desire to grow in chastity in our relationship, but Iām not sure how prudent these desires are because I donāt want to use him for physical pleasure. Is it okay for me to want these things from him even though we arenāt married? Can they be done in a chaste way? Having had unchaste experiences with men Iāve dated in the past makes me feel as though Iād be tainting my current relationship by doing these things, and the feelings that arise feel more like lust and crossing a boundary.
I recently came across your work and have been listening to your podcasts and interviews incessantly. It is truly life-changing material. Youāve referenced a few times a retreat where a priest asked you to perform various exercises to help stir up your desires so that you could really learn how to pray. What were those exercises? I havenāt been able to find them through all the listening Iāve been doing.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
I have been a consecrated man for 40 years. Through theology of the body, I came to understand that my masculinity was not denied by my vow of chastity, but lived in another way. I learned to integrate natural bodily movements and the struggle for purity into my path of sanctification. Recently, due to age, these experiences have largely disappeared. I feel I now have less struggle and less of a felt experience of my masculinity. My testosterone levels have decreased, which brings sadness. Does this suffering make sense, and should I try to restore my testosterone to offer my virility to God as self-gift?
My boyfriend and I have dated for a year, and the topic of pornography has never really been discussed. I have no reason to believe that he currently watches, but Iām finding more and more that I need reassurance that this is not a potential threat to our sweet relationship. Would it be out of place for me to ask my boyfriend if he has watched or still watches porn? It feels so critical and unkind to ask him such a question. Do you have any suggestions on how I should approach this conversation?
I am currently dating a wonderful girl, and we have both been raised extremely well in the faith and theology of the body. We were talking about the beauty of reserving sex for marriage, and she mentioned that she has never felt the desire for sex once in her life. I was a bit shocked by this. Is that something that will grow as we continue to progress toward marriage in a holy way, or does that mean she will never have the natural human desire for sexual union in the marital act? Iām just worried about how that may affect a marriage. What is your thought?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Asking my husband to reverse his vasectomy, When bridegroom language feels abusive, What is appropriate within dating? | ACW369
26 janv. 2026
01:02:28
āThis episode is sponsored by Truthlyā
Questions answered this episode:
About 10 years ago, my husband and I rushed into a vasectomy after my third child in 3.5 years and intense anxiety/depression. I wasnāt in favor, but agreed thinking heād reverse it if we wanted more kidsāthen I learned he never intended to. For eight years I felt despair and our union felt unrepairable. In recent years, Christ has healed me, and discovering TOB helped transform my husbandās heart; heās apologized and wishes he could take it back. But he fears reversal because of painful complications. Should I ask him to reverse it for me, or leave it up to him? How does this relate to TOBās āspecial responsibilityā of the man to reestablish the balance of the gift?
My question is about where the marriage imagery of Christ and the Church can fall short. Sometimes I find it hard to love God when I know that if I donāt, He has the power and authority to cast me into hell, and if this were a relationship between two sinners, it might seem abusive for one spouse to punish the other for lack of loyalty. Ezekiel 16 portrays God doing this in a spousal context, and it deeply troubles me. When I struggle with this, I shy away from Christ as Bridegroom and turn to other analogies, like Him as the vine. Can you shed some TOB light on this?
Iāve been in a relationship for four years. Weāre both believing Christians and try to live our relationship in the light of theology of the body, but lately weāre struggling with physical affectionānever knowing what is too much or what is healthy since weāre not married. Weāve talked a lot, and it seems Iām having a harder time than he is. My problem is that I often find myself troubled after the fact. Iād really appreciate some advice.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Why blood belongs inside, Physical abnormalities & the TOB ideal, My Husbandās Desire Feels Twisted | ACW368
19 janv. 2026
00:53:39
āThis episode is sponsored by Truthlyā
Questions answered this episode:
Recently I had mole excision surgery that led me into some unexpected reflection through a TOB lens. I was awake with only local anesthesia and watched the doctor use a scalpel to cut into my skin. Seeing the blood flow out made me lightheaded and nauseous, and I wondered why many people feel queasy at the sight of blood. In TOB terms, is this like āyour seed belongs in her gardenā? Might blood also feel like something that belongs inside the body? How does this connect to Christās Sacred Heart being pierced and his blood poured out for usāand why donāt medical professionals react this way?
Iāve been listening to an introduction to theology of the body you gave, and my heart is stirred with a desire for all the beauty and goodness that is offered to us through the truth of our bodies. I canāt help but wonder as I listen how this truth of what is intended for our bodies applies to those who experience unusual circumstances such as infertility, reproductive disorders, or illnesses, and the smaller percentage who are born with physical abnormalities that affect their sexual or reproductive organs. How does the ideal of the theology of the body reconcile with these natural realities?
My husband and I have been married for 38 years. I came into marriage with insecurities and abandonment woundsāmy father died when I was 3, my mother never remarried, and my older siblings left home after marrying. My husbandās love language is touch and quality time, and he didnāt receive much of either from his parents. Because of our woundedness, we had immoral patterns in our marriageādressing inappropriately and spending at least 10 years going to nudist resorts. Iām further on my journey through counseling and our Catholic faith, but Iām not sure where he is. I feel pressured when he comments on my body, stares, and wants us naked at home. What steps can I take to have a healthier response to my husband?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
My āearlyā miscarriage feels unreal, Desire makes me spiral into fantasy, and Why didnāt they recognize risen Jesus? | ACW367
12 janv. 2026
00:53:48
āThis episode is sponsored by Truthlyā
Questions answered this episode:
Iām experiencing my third very early miscarriage, and Iām having a lot of difficult feelings because the loss is so early. I never saw a doctor to confirm pregnancyājust a few days of faint positive tests that never got darker and eventually turned negativeāand Iām dreading the coming bloodshed. Iām struggling with feeling like I shouldnāt grieve; I know life begins at conception, but Iām confused, and it feels unfair to people with ārealā miscarriages. My husband doesnāt really understand, and I feel alone with two toddlers. Any insight appreciated.
I understand God gave us sexuality as a gift, making us sexual beings. If he knew weād be tempted to misuse it, why didnāt he make it so weād be attracted to beauty but not feel sexual desire until after vows in the sacrament of marriage? Since thatās not how he designed itāand many look forward to that dayāhow do we look forward without unchaste thoughts or fantasies? My love language is touch, and I ache to be held, but my yearning slips into fantasies and then self-abuse. Any encouragement or advice would be welcome.
Why did the apostles not recognize Jesus after the resurrection?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
My brother wants to be āAuntieā, God is letting my mom waste away, and TOB talk gets awkward in midwifery school | ACW366
05 janv. 2026
00:47:41
āThis episode is sponsored by Truthlyā
My wife and I have been married almost 1.5 years and we just had our first daughter 2.5 months ago. One challenge weāre struggling to discern is that my younger brother is transitioning from male to female and calling himself āAuntieā in front of my daughter. I love my brother dearly, and this has been a long journey tied to brokenness I and others caused when he was younger. We want to raise our daughter in the truth of Godās plan for sexuality while still loving my brother well. What language and approach would you recommend?
My mother is nearing the end of a six-year battle with a very rare condition that is eating away at her body. My father continues to struggle with the āwhyā behind this suffering, crying out, āWhy would God allow this?ā
Iām a student midwife, and sometimes my faith comes up with my teachers and the other students. They often ask me questions about chastity, and I always try to explain it in the light of Theology of the Body, but I find it so hard when the other person has never heard of it. Do you have some ideas for how I could startāand keep goingāon with those conversations?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
St. John Paul talks about woman being master of her own mysteryāhow a man must stand at the door and knock, then wait for her to open, even in marriage, respecting her right to reject his advances to the marital embrace. In light of this, how do we understand 1 Corinthians 7:4ā5 (āthe wife does not rule over her own bodyā¦ Do not refuse one another except perhaps by agreementā¦ā)? What does this mean? It seems to contradict JP2. Iāve also heard it used against NFPāhow can I understand it in light of TOB and the Churchās teaching?
How do you handle sharing Theology of the Body in the current context, where our own leaders in the Church seem to more and more embrace the way of the world? Can you give advice on ways to share and teach the TOB message within our own diocese in this contextāespecially when facing barriers from our own priests and bishops?
Iām a happily married man in my early 60s. I had a vasectomy in my 20s after our third child, became Catholic in my 50s, and deeply regretted what Iād done to my body. Iāve gathered that when I make love to my wife it isnāt considered a truly marital act because my body is in a contraceptive stateāeven though sheās past menopause and cannot conceive. Iāve considered reversal, but I canāt afford it and Iām told itās unlikely to work at my age; my non-Catholic wife isnāt supportive. Have you any consoling thoughts?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
I am a theology teacher of high school students at a Catholic school. How do I joyfully proclaim Theology of the Bodyāor any Church teachingāwhen my students look like the walking dead? A coworker calls them spiritually dead. They donāt seem to care and they fall asleep in class. Satan has used all of that to make me question whether Iām in the right career. I think, if I was truly called, my studentsā faith would come alive. How can I share this beautiful message with anyone who seems spiritually dead?
At age 60, Iām no longer interested in the marital act, and it is most painful and unpleasantātherefore, not happening. I am TOB savvy and preach it to everyone, but Iām not living it. I know the marital act rocks my husbandās world, but I cannot tolerate it. Iāve had medical procedures contributing to the unpleasantness. I probably should seek medical attention, but would rather not.
I am a priest and a religious. Throughout my formation, the emphasis was mostly on the challenging, sacrificial dimension of celibacy, but TOB has brought joy into living it. Celibacy feels like a continual discovery of Godās closeness and of living with the people entrusted to me. But I donāt know whether this fulfillment brings joy to the parts of me that desire a deeper, more personal gazeāand whether that gaze is reserved only for God. Iām not sure if Iām loved for my vocation or if I, Andrea, am worthy of love as a person. Can you help me understand this?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
There are many stories of Catholic men who experience same-sex attraction and go on to marry and have families, even though their predominant attraction remains toward men. Many encourage others not to dismiss marriage before exploring whether God could be calling them to it. Iām honestly confused. Would it be right for me to pursue a relationship with a woman without being attracted to her, without longing to share in the marital embrace? Some say attraction to their wives arose later in dating, but it doesnāt seem right to start a romantic relationship without attraction.
Iāve been struggling for many months with the sexual past of my boyfriend. Itās been really difficult not to take it personallyāfeeling deeply hurt and offended that he didnāt wait for me, even though we didnāt know one another when those things occurred. He is now committed to living chastely after realizing that fornication was unfulfilling and a lie, thanks be to God. How can I place the proper weight on his past without taking it personally in a way that sabotages the beautiful relationship weāve built?
I converted to the Catholic faith 7 years ago from an atheistic background. From my parents I have a strong inclination to be a perfectionist, even during the marital embrace. Iām anxious not to fail, and I often think I will be a failure if we donāt get 3 children. We have 2 on earth and 1 in heaven. I feel unworthy compared with traditional huge Catholic families. How can I get rid of this anxiety and be free?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
I love marriage and my wife, but weāre facing our biggest challenge: understanding sex and its rightful place. We stayed chaste before marriage; I was a virgin and sheād been abstinent for years. I desire union daily, and while she enjoys our intimacy, she doesnāt need it as often, though she still wants affection. Weāre trying to discern how often sex should happen within Godās plan. She fears being used because of past wounds, and I fear rejection when sheās not ready. I worry her ānoā means Iāve failed her. Since marrying, sex dominates my thoughts, and itās becoming a burden.
About ten years ago, at 45, I learned I carry a genetic marker for several cancers. Two of my sisters with the same marker developed endometrial and ovarian cancer. I later became a breast cancer survivor, another cancer on the list. My doctor told me thereās no good screening for ovarian cancer and strongly urged a hysterectomy, since pregnancy was unlikely and ovarian cancer is often detected too late. I chose the hysterectomy to prevent cancer, not pregnancy. But after studying Theology of the Body, Iām questioning that decision. What does the Church teach in a case like mine?
My wife and I had two miscarriages this year, and the pain has been deep. She is angry with God, and I realized I repressed my own grief until recently. Now I often fight back tears and long for our two children. We keep asking God why. I canāt imagine how this suffering could be glorified here. Are some sufferings only understood in heaven? I also wonder whether physical imperfections like illness or miscarriage are Godās doing or simply consequences of human freedom. I doubt whether prayer can change anything, yet I still love God even as I struggle with doubts about His omnipotence.
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
Iād like your opinion on popular songs that celebrate the pleasures of sexual union, like that Marvin Gaye song. Can their meaningāor the passions they stirābe redeemed within marriage? It seems many of these songs arenāt good in most contexts, especially those that objectify people. But are some of them acceptable for married couples to listen to privately, if the lyrics donāt violate the personalistic norm and actually draw oneās mind to the joy of union with oneās spouse? Iād love to hear your thoughts.
Iām a young Catholic woman still in love with a man I met in high school. Back then I felt something spiritual between usāa quiet sense of God saying, āBehold your husband.ā He was the first person I ever saw receive the Eucharist kneeling and on the tongue, and it struck me deeply. Though we never acted on anything, seven years later my feelings remain, even though heās dating someone else and has made choices against his faith. I pray for him daily, but Iām torn: do these prayers honor God, or keep me stuck? Should I keep praying for him or prepare my heart for the husband God intends?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.
*If you are in financial need and honestly cannot afford a book or resource recommended on this podcast, contact: ā ā michele@tobinstitute.orgā ā
Foolish for not chasing marriage?, Is our intimacy a sin, Are my natural arousals sinful? | ACW360
24 nov. 2025
00:50:27
Questions answered this episode:
Iām a 24-year-old single woman who has never dated. I want to be married, but itās a passive desireāIām content and open if something comes my way. I donāt ache for marriage the way others do, and I donāt feel called to chase it. People tell me Iām wasting my twenties and question if I even want a family. I do want marriage, just no one has interested me yet. I donāt think God is asking me to hunt for a spouse. Does that make sense, or am I being foolish?
My husband and I have used NFP for 20 years, but during my fertile times he tempts me daily for intimacy. I resist for a few days but usually cave once a month, leading to intercourse where only I climax. Itās very hard to stop, and Iām always the one trying, which leaves me feeling guilty. I love our intimacy but resent his lack of restraint. A priest once told me confessing this monthly means itās mortal sin, but I canāt find why. Can you shed light on this?
Ask Christopher West is a weekly podcast in which Theology of the Body Institute President Christopher West and his beloved wife Wendy share their humor and wisdom, answering questions about marriage, relationships, life, and the Catholic faith, all in light of John Paul IIās beautiful teachings on the Theology of the Body.