Explore every episode of the podcast Ancient Intelligence

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In this episode I dive into a core truth about men and women based on a phrase that I heard that is so simple, yet profound.

This can help us tease out why logic, clarity, and accountability matters so much to the masculine and presence, connection, and belief matters so much to the feminine.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

02:00 — Parable about men and women

06:00 — Lessons about men and women

08:45 — Tuned into Integrity

12:00 — Telling the Truth

17:00 — A woman’s connection to faith

20:00 — Calling a man forth

23:00 — Faith in men

____________________

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In this episode I dive into some observations about the masculine and feminine based on Kabbalistic principles, female dignity, some important sex differences, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

01:45 — Why I love being Jewish

03:00 — Foundations of truth

08:00 — Is a woman the infinite?

10:30 — A Woman’s dignity

13:00 — What is the dark feminine?

18:30 — Story of Rabbi Akiva and Rachel

22:00 — Lessons about feminine power

25:00 — Sex differences in attunement

31:00 — Outro

____________________

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In this episode I sit down with my favorite couple, Meg and Jacob O’Neill for a raw conversation exploring men’s work, women’s work, ancestral rites of passage, and what it takes to build a devotional relationship between a man and a woman.

Listen in to learn about exactly what ‘doing the work’ means, the nervous system of community, ego obliterating love, releasing codependency, the three stages of relating, and so much more.

Meg O’Neill is a Sex & Relationship coach and Jacob O’Neill is a Men’s Leadership Coach. They are both doing powerful work in their respective zones of influence. They are always running workshops, retreats, and virtual courses so find them on Instagram to get into their work:

Connect with Meg -   / the.meg.o  

Connect with Jacob -   / thejacoboneill  

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

01:30 — What is Men’s Work?

04:00 — What is Women’s Work?

06:45 — Meg & Jacob’s Relational Journey

10:00 — Nice Guy & Controlling Woman Dynamic

12:40 — Initiation into Manhood

17:00 — Masculine capacity & feminine fullness

20:00 — A woman’s deepest wound

23:00 — Reverence for the opposite sex

30:00 — Ego obliterating love

33:00 — Sacrifice over compromise

35:45 — Nervous system of community

39:00 — Sacrifice in love

42:30 — Three stages of relating

47:00 — How Meg relates to Jacob

50:00 — What is a safe woman?

52:00 — Conclusion

____________________

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In this episode I get into the nice guy and girl archetype, and why many of us learn to hide who we are and what we need out of fear. I get into where this pattern comes from, why we feel so much shame around having needs, how it shows up as self blame instead of honest communication, and my top three tips for recovering from nice guy and girl behaviors.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

03:00 — How Nice Guys and Gals Get Created

04:00 — Avoidance of Self

06:00 — Constant Self Blame and Overthinking

07:30 — 3 Parts of the Nice Archetype’s psyche

10:30 — Covert Behavior

13:00 — 3 Things to Practice

14:00 — Number One

15:00 — Number Two

21:30 — Number Three

23:00 — Storytime

____________________

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In this episode I riff on important differences between men and women and how we've lost the language for appreciating the masculine. I get into masculine love and devotion, men's instincts towards the bigger picture, what frustrates young boys more than anything, initiation rites, and the important difference between being a siren and a muse as a woman.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

03:00 — Men and Navigation

05:00 — Men and Patience

07:40 — Why Boys Need Men

12:00 — Men as Teachers

15:00 — Little Boys as Heroes

17:00 — Inspiring Men as Women

____________________

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In this episode I sat down with evolutionary biologist Dr. Dani Sulikowski to explore her thesis of female intrasexual competition and how it can explain various aspects of our society from body image trends to modern feminism to the ever-present anti-natalism within our culture.

Learn about how female reproductive suppression can be seen as an MLM-like structure, how western women directly parallel Roman women, the lifecycle of a civilization, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

03:00 — Introducing female intrasexual competition

07:30 — Male versus female competition

11:30 — Understanding emergent group level behaviors

16:00 — Why are women more affected by groupthink?

22:45 — How feminism has undermined courtship rituals

27:00 — Feminism and Marxism

32:45 — Civilizational rise and collapse

52:00 — Social signaling of high status women

59:00 — Is feminism rich women abusing poor women?

01:00:00 — At what point does reproductive suppression denigrate men?

01:06:00 — Young girls are overwhelmingly stressed

01:18:00 — Dr. Dani’s message to young girls

____________________

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In this episode I sat down with men’s rights activist and researcher, Evan Campbell aka Existential Evan to discuss the systemic challenges facing boys and men across education mental health, the workplace, and dating.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

03:00 — What are boys struggling with?

04:00 — Gynocentrism in the education system

07:30 — Evan’s background in research

12:00 — We need more men in teaching

15:00 — Predatory female teachers

18:30 — Fluid Intelligence of Boys and Men

23:00 — Curriculum targeting Australian boys

29:00 — Feminist contradictions

34:00 — Mental health crisis for men

35:20 — Discrimination against men at work

42:00 — Hypocrisy of equality at work

45:30 — Has feminism always been misandrist?

53:00 — The value of the mythopoetic movement

01:02:00 — Paradox of choice in dating

01:13:00 — The case against casual sex

01:18:00 — Last thoughts on men and boys

____________________

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In this episode I explore both the biological case for why casual sex is bad for women and the spiritual case for why casual sex is bad for both sexes. I get into how the fundamental disagreement on morality is the real root of our cultural divide. I discuss the data on casual sex, relationships, how I define soulmates, and why male strength is actually what matters in terms attraction.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

01:40 — Disagreements on Morality

04:00 — Utopian Thinking

05:20 — Why We Must Critique Feminism

06:35 — Biological Case Against Casual Sex

09:30 — The Data on Casual Sex

15:00 — Putting a Stake in the Ground

20:00 — Sex is Sacred

24:00 — The Real Definition of Soulmate

26:00 — Michelangelo’s masculine creativity

28:00 — Strength of Men Study

____________________

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In this episode I explore how I experience masculine presence and why no amount of provision or resources can make up for it. Inspired by a coaching client, I break down four signs a man lacks presence. I trace the root cause back to childhood and make the case that a man’s inner connection with himself is what makes a present, confident man that has authority.

Book - Unbound by Kasia Urbaniak

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Why present is missing

05:45 — Number one

07:53 — Number two

15:15 — Number three

16:54 — Number four

20:40 — Dominance and Submission

____________________

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This is pt 2 of a 2 part series focused on men’s style. Here I help you understand your style archetype and how to align your clothing with your individual identity.

**Note: I have created these archetypes based on my extensive experience in the men’s fashion industry as well as over a decade of time spent working in branding and advertising.

If you haven’t watched part 1, I recommend doing so first. That will ground you in a brief but comprehensive understanding of the history of European and American men’s style (ancient to present).

https://youtu.be/112lPzmnFkw?si=YoNW66ulXFooY85g

Let me know what ya’ll think!

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

04:00 — Understanding archetypes

06:45 — The Rugged

10:20 — The Scholar

12:44 — The Athlete

18:25 — The Creative

22:50 — The Refined

26:20 — Men with combo archetypes

____________________

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This video essay explores a condensed history of menswear from the ancient world to the present. It is part 1 of a 2 part series. Understanding the history is foundational to developing your personal style. Part 2 will address style archetypes and how to align clothing with your individual identity (coming next week).

LINK:

Interview I mentioned in the intro: https://blog.fitnyc.edu/artanddesign/2020/10/16/anya-shakhmeyster-reimagines-russian-style-with-a-new-sensibility/

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

04:00 — Ancient to Medieval

09:00 — Three Status Symbols

10:00 — Renaissance to Baroque

17:15 — The Birth of Modern Menswear

21:26 — Influence of Sport, Leisure & Military

26:20 — Three Schools of Menswear

28:33 — American Sportswear - Final Frontier

____________________

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This is a fun episode where I analyzed the 2025 film Song Sung Blue starring Hugh Jackman and Kate Hudson as real life couple, Mike and Claire Sardinia. I use the film to illustrate core themes of masculine and feminine identities, healthy pair bonding, and how this film illustrates love, trust, connection, and understanding.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction about respect

04:00 — Masculine Identity

06:00 — Men Are Energetic Geniuses

08:00 — The Secret of the Seed

10:35 — The Shadow Masculine

13:10 — Feminine Confidence

15:35 — The Shadow Feminine

18:30 — Core Themes

24:00 — Final Tragedy

____________________

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In this episode I explore the reciprocal nature of how feminine nourishment feeds masculine respect which then gives back to the feminine. I trace the roots of disrespect towards men back to Marxist feminist ideology. I show examples of respect in the micro and macro and make the case that genuine respect is one of the most powerful things women can do.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction about respect

02:00 — Story about a client and respect

03:45 — Feminine Nourishment

06:50 — Respect for the Masculine

11:45 — If Men said no to paid work

14:10 — Story about masculine elder

18:55 — Feminism is Marxist

22:00 — Why did women buy into this?

25:30 — Feminists skewed reality

28:00 — Tyranny of the minority

28:44 — Masculine knack for prioritization

31:00 — Dominance backed by care

32:00 — South African ritual

____________________

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Most women carry three core desires in their hearts. In this episode I explore how these three desires are written into female nature and how feminism has worked against all three resulting in the frustration, cognitive dissonance, and disconnection from men that are being felt in the world.

Reference: Captivating by Stasi Eldredge

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

04:00 — Three things a woman wants

07:50 — What is beauty?

12:30 — Feminism goes against beauty

15:00 — Being irreplaceable

16:20 — My passion for men’s styling

17:00 — Woman as life producer

19:40 — Masculine and feminine love languages

22:00 — Women’s rights Versus Feminism

24:00 — female weapon versus gift

25:00 — Being worthy of pursuit

26:30 — The glue of life is connection

____________________

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I’ve been mentioning how much I have been impacted by Stephen Jenkinson’s work for a while on this show now, and here he is in honor of Ancient Intelligence’s 150th episode (you can access all 150 via Spotify or Apple).

We discuss themes from his work, particularly his forthcoming book Trembling, Still: The Awful Clarity of a Mind in Eclipse - a book shaped by a difficult neurodegenerative diagnosis. We explore culture work, the meaning of animism and paganism, beauty, and maintaining our humanity in this postmodern world.

LINKS:

Pre-order Stephen's latest book: https://orphanwisdom.com/trembling-st...

Stephen has two upcoming in-person events: https://orphanwisdom.com/event/stagge...

https://orphanwisdom.com/event/brain-...

Learn more at: https://orphanwisdom.com/

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Introduction

04:00 — Artificial Intelligence Versus Reality

12:00 — Why are the youths convinced?

17:30 — Animism and Paganism

30:00 — Beauty and Duality

46:00 — Cultural Poverties

50:30 — Trembling Still and Closing Wisdom

____________________

Stephen Jenkinson, MTS, MSW, is a teacher, author, culture worker, farmer, and founder of the Orphan Wisdom School. He is the author of Die Wise, Come of Age, A Generations Worth, Matrimony, and most recently Trembling Still: The Awful Clarity of a Mind in Eclipse. His work explores grief, elderhood, dying, and the deep obligations of being alive in a time of unprecedented consequence. He has a master's degree in theology from Harvard and a master's in social work from the University of Toronto, and spent years as a program director in a major Canadian hospital, where his work focused on the care of the dying. He lives on a farm in the Ottawa Valley with his wife Nathalie Roy.

Resource:

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About This Episode

I came across an essay that blames “the patriarchy” for the sexual disconnection that married women feel towards their husbands. This is a critique offering a nuanced take at some of the causes for disconnection that include attachment wounds, hormonal birth control, communication failures, gaps in self-knowledge, disdain for men, fear and shame, and more.

The viral essay - https://celestemdavis.substack.com/p/patriarchal-sex

Link to episode I mentioned with Nakula Das - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IBwAfoAy7xI

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro 

02:00 — Claims About Patriarchal Sex

06:00 — Refuting Claims

08:45 — The Myth of Male Power

13:00 — A Woman Not Connected to Herself

23:00 — The Women As Property Claim

26:00 — The Four Stages of Sex

28:00 — Sensuality Examples from Pop Culture

____________________

Resource:

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We’ve experienced a massive cultural shift from a ritual based to performance based society. I use the examples of matrimony and clothing to illustrate this. We’ve traded in ritual matrimony for elaborate weddings as well as appropriate dress for costumes.

LINKS:

Quote from beginning - Matrimony by Stephen Jenkinson

Advocate for children I mention - Katy Faust https://thembeforeus.substack.com/about‍ ‍

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Shift from Ritual to Performance

05:00 — Eras of Pair Bonding

11:00 — Performative Weddings Versus Ritual Matrimony

16:00 — Marriage in Performance Culture

20:00 — New Way of Relationship

____________________

Resource:

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The masculine need for space contrasted with the feminine need for connection. Exploring some elements of polarity and differences in communication.

00:00 —Space as en essential element

04:00 — male well being and space

11:00 — feminine versus masculine communication

16:00 — John Muir is calling

___________

Resource: FREE 50 Essential Books & Films - https://ancientintelligence.kit.com/t... Weekly newsletter - https://anyashakh.substack.com Beyond the podcast, I work 1:1 with men: Read what other men have said - https://share.google/oScXWNergQbnLknbA Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

The data on young women and three big problems

Major data points also laid out here: https://anyashakh.substack.com/p/the-... Based on the recently published piece by The New Statesman: https://www.newstatesman.com/cover-st...‍ ‍

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

01:27 — New data on young women in the West

04:14 — The big picture behind the data

05:35 — The most alarming statistics

07:00 — How anti-man sentiment is spreading

09:18 — Anti-man culture in everyday conversation

11:06 — Why criticism of women gets avoided

12:40 — The first big problem: confusion about men

14:56 — How feminism reshaped female identity

17:09 — What women were doing differently before

19:17 — Misplaced empathy and emotion-driven behavior

21:19 — Feeling unloved and looking for meaning

22:54 — The third problem: misunderstanding God

25:03 — Why women avoid wrestling with deeper truths

25:47 — God, masculinity, and authority

26:35 — The collapse of real community

27:00 — The three fundamental problems

28:08 — Outro

Resource: FREE 50 Essential Books & Films - https://ancientintelligence.kit.com/t... Weekly newsletter - https://anyashakh.substack.com Beyond the podcast, I work 1:1 with men: Read what other men have said - https://share.google/oScXWNergQbnLknbA Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

In this episode I unpack one of the most misunderstood phrases in our culture - Behind Every Great Man Stands a Great Woman. I talk about why it’s not about comparison or jealousy, but authority and responsibility.

The moment it becomes a competition, the masculine and feminine dance is done.

Listen in to hear why a woman standing in front of her man will never be loved as deeply as she wants, the Captain of a ship analogy, why a woman’s creativity rests on protection, why historic couples like the Churchills and Adamses are a masterclass in this dynamic, and much more…

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

01:19 — How the idea of “standing behind a man” came up

02:30 — Feminism and the shift in how women view support

04:03 — The umbrella analogy

05:12 — Masculine and feminine through a Christian lens

06:06 — Letting go of praise and front-runner status

07:08 — Why stability creates life

08:08 — Women’s fear of what others think

09:01 — The garden and the gardener analogy

10:12 — The unseen influence behind great men

11:00 — Phyllis Schlafly and public influence

12:14 — Defining a couple’s shared mission

13:05 — When partnership turns into competition

14:00 — “Never rely on a man” and trauma-based messaging

15:15 — Historical examples of women finding joy in support

16:38 — Spiritual emptiness and the search for meaning

17:55 — How we’re meant to live together

18:49 — What young boys are starving for

19:39 — Putting stakes in the ground

20:37 — Outro

_______________

Beyond the podcast, I work 1:1 with men who are ready to experience their innate power and potency. I support you in creating real, lasting change through a safe space where you can practice presence, timing, and confidence without the hidden cost of a relationship.

Read what other men have said - https://share.google/oScXWNergQbnLknbA

Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today, help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend, leave a comment, or leave a review on Spotify or Apple.

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

About This Episode

In this episode I sat down with Austin Milne aka Brother Oz - a deep thinking and passionate pastor from Vancouver who defends Christianity through apologetics and funny videos.

We connected in our shared desire to uncover what is good, beautiful, and true.

Listen in to learn about the purpose we have as men and women, why women want love and men want respect, why fatherhood comes from God, what are the consequences of feminine worship, why consensus culture is so dangerous, how to define masculinity and femininity based of God’s nature, and much more.

Connect with Austin:

https://www.youtube.com/@Brother_Oz

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00:00 — Intro

00:03:46 — Growing up in a Brethren community

00:06:46 — The turning point in faith

00:10:06 — How Christians understand God’s nature

00:13:12 — Christ revealed through the Old Testament

00:16:48 — Criticism, grace, and human weakness

00:19:58 — The soul, identity, and embodiment

00:23:22 — Why God can’t be divided into parts

00:27:04 — The image of God and the word

00:30:23 — Marriage, glory, and biblical symbolism

00:33:59 — A husband’s role in marriage

00:36:58 — Why so many young women distrust men

00:40:50 — Masculinity, being chosen, and purpose

00:44:33 — Why giving advice to women feels complicated

00:47:45 — Wild at Heart and masculine longing

00:50:44 — Women’s deeper fear of being unloved

00:54:05 — War, power, and masculine drives

00:57:43 — Free love, pair bonding, and social order

01:01:43 — Why some values are objectively good

01:05:25 — Monotheism, purpose, and hierarchy

01:08:50 — Why modern campuses feel disconnected

01:12:30 — Consensus vs Truth

01:15:37 — Community as protection from radical ideas

01:18:50 — Tension between male and female narratives

01:22:30 — Cultural trends and shifting beliefs

01:26:33 — Outro

_______________

Beyond the podcast, I work 1:1 with men who are ready to experience their innate power and potency. I support you in creating real, lasting change through a safe space where you can practice presence, timing, and confidence without the hidden cost of a relationship.

Read what other men have said - https://share.google/oScXWNergQbnLknbA

Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today, help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend, leave a comment, or leave a review on Spotify or Apple.

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I explore the collapse of sex separated or sex sacred (as I like to say) spaces in our society. By charging into men’s spaces (i.e. Boy Scouts) women have actually lost so much of the respect and affection from men that they crave.

Listen in to hear why same-sex spaces aren’t about exclusion but protection, a story about an Aboriginal tribe’s view on it, a reaction to women entering Australia's bars for the first time in 1974, the confusion about female sexuality and empowerment, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

02:05 — Why privacy and boundaries matter

04:23 — When women overshare in front of men

06:04 — The push to make men and women interchangeable

08:03 — Misunderstanding masculine boundaries

10:10 — Why same-sex spaces matter

11:57 — The Aboriginal tribe example

14:29 — Why male intrusion changes the environment

15:29 — The problem with public eroticism

17:29 — The misunderstanding of female empowerment

20:18 — The container is wrong

21:23 — Boundaries, sacred spaces, and women’s lodges

22:46 — Men’s groups and healing the feminine

23:39 — What this could look like for women

24:37 — Outro

_______________

Beyond the podcast, I work 1:1 with men who are ready to experience their innate power and potency. I support you in creating real, lasting change through a safe space where you can practice presence, timing, and confidence without the hidden cost of a relationship.

Read what other men have said - https://share.google/oScXWNergQbnLknbA

Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today, help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend, leave a comment, or leave a review on Spotify or Apple.

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I break down a common pattern that I see in relationships - men falling into the wrong relationships out of a scarcity mindset. This causes disempowerment, resentment, and frustration for everyone.

Listen in to learn about the mismatch between men and women in the early stages of dating, the key biological and hormonal differences (back by Huberman Research), how certain behavior from men can trigger pre-mature attachment from women, what it looks like when a man doesn’t lose his frame, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

01:46 — How relationships get misled from the start

04:14 — Desire phase vs commitment phase

06:18 — Why men need to lead the stages properly

08:06 — Why women read future signals too early

10:15 — Future talk and false intimacy

12:23 — What happens when polarity collapses

14:30 — A healthy example of pacing and attachment

16:30 — Why respecting the stages matters

18:38 — Outro

_______________

Beyond the podcast, I work 1:1 with men who are ready to experience their innate power and potency. I support you in creating real, lasting change through a safe space where you can practice presence, timing, and confidence without the hidden cost of a relationship.

Read what other men have said - https://share.google/oScXWNergQbnLknbA

Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today, help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend, leave a comment, or leave a review on Spotify or Apple.

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

About This Episode

13:17 ** Correction - I meant 800% (not 1800%)

This is PT 2 of Flirting and Courtship where I pick up from where I left off in PT 1 (Medieval Europe). In this episode I take us from Renaissance through the Colonial Era through the Victorian era into the Industrial Revolution and the turn of the twentieth century.

PT 1 -    • Flirting and Courtship Pt 1 - Vikings, Rom...  

In this episode I explain what the biggest distinctions were in courtship and flirtation before and after the Industrial revolution.

Listen in to learn about how we invented the concept of dating and why, what the three biggest changes were that brought on the shift in how young people got together, the major distinctions between courtship and dating, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

02:24 — Courtship moves into the public sphere

04:39 — How pre-industrial courtship worked

06:55 — Romance starts reshaping expectations

09:23 — What love starts to mean

11:47 — Rules and structure begin breaking down

14:06 — The rise of a new “third space”

16:18 — The idea of the “charity girl”

18:12 — How courtship was changing

20:36 — What broke down over time

23:01 — Outro

_______________

Beyond the podcast, I work 1:1 with men who are ready to experience their innate power and potency. I support you in creating real, lasting change through a safe space where you can practice presence, timing, and confidence without the hidden cost of a relationship.

Read what other men have said - https://share.google/oScXWNergQbnLknbA

Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today, help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend, leave a comment, or leave a review on Spotify or Apple.

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I explore the myth and history behind the courtship practices of a few select ancient societies.

Listen in to learn why courtship was known as the most dangerous pastime for the young Icelandic man, where the origins of the madonna/whore complex may have come from, the difference in courtship between Rome the Republic and Rome the Empire, how did Romans think about matrimony, what was the chivalric code of honor, the medieval origins of ‘happy wife, happy life’ and much more.

RESOURCES:

https://www.vikinganswerlady.com/

https://www.youtube.com/@JacksonCrawford

https://feminaeromanae.org/matrimonium.html

https://www.supersummary.com/the-art-of-love-ovid/summary/

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

02:18 — Pre-Christian views on relationships

04:05 — Influence and control dynamics

06:12 — Why it seemed appealing

08:20 — Marriage as a social structure

10:07 — Psychological roots of attraction

12:15 — The “third way” idea

14:12 — How things used to be different

16:08 — Consequences and exile

18:20 — Purpose beyond procreation

20:35 — Marriage tied to wealth and land

22:42 — Honour, loyalty, and core values

24:50 — Masculinity and Chivalric Code

27:05 — Understanding infatuation

28:55 — Final takeaways

30:22 — Outro

_______________

If you found some value today, help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend, leave a comment, or leave a review on Spotify or Apple.

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I am joined by the lovely Rivkah Krinsky - wife, mother of 8, matchmaker and founder of One Soul matchmaking, podcast host, and health coach.

We explored what it means to have faith as a Co-creator with God as we touched on dating, marriage, motherhood, and more.

Listen in to learn about the Kabbalistic wisdom behind soulmates, why women are the foundation of faith, the difference between love and infatuation, as well as a few biblical stories and Jewish wisdom thrown in the mix.

Connect with Rivkah:

From the Inside Out Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs3Ysmgqfam1prT2qn9YPqg

Onesoul.org

https://www.instagram.com/rivkahkrinsky/

Resource Discussed:

Hannah's Children by Catherine Pakaluk

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00:00 — Intro

00:03:43 — Background and personal story

00:07:27 — Purpose and mission in life

00:10:59 — Traditional roles and dynamics

00:14:53 — Why dysfunction shows up

00:18:24 — Early reflections on relationships

00:22:16 — Agreeing on core ideas

00:25:38 — Importance of honesty and authenticity

00:29:19 — Reinforcing key relationship dynamics

00:33:20 — Self-improvement and influence

00:36:55 — Appreciation for the perspective

00:40:28 — Transition in conversation

00:44:21 — Work and daily life pressures

00:47:58 — Career ambition and struggle

00:51:31 — New paradigm in relationships

00:55:18 — Expanding on the idea

00:58:55 — Deeper reflection

01:02:38 — Philanthropy and meaning

01:06:17 — Real-life social examples

01:10:14 — Personal life reflection

01:13:47 — Outro

_______________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today, help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend, leave a comment, or leave a review on Spotify or Apple.

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

While there are many topics that must be addressed to resolve the partnership between men and women including work, dating practices, and rights there is one fundamental breakdown that sits at the root of it all - the broken agreement between men and women about our respective evolutionary purpose.

Listen in as I explore how fringe opinions get turned into perceived consensus, the evolutionary mismatch at the heart of modern dating, the unspoken agreement between men and women that has broken down, and more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

01:58 — Obsession with individual freedom

03:45 — Not realizing you're in it

05:28 — Loud voices shaping perception

07:12 — What’s fundamentally interesting

09:03 — The core idea explained

10:52 — Social dynamics at play

12:40 — Traditional roles vs modern shift

14:28 — Loss of certainty over time

16:15 — Romance vs reality

18:02 — Real relationship example

19:58 — Breaking it all down

21:45 — Final takeaway

23:41 — Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I explore what happens to society when we lose the sacred, when meaning, ritual, and honor gets replaced by spectacle and consumption backed by a larger distrust. Drawing on my background in brand strategy and research mixed with my psychology training, I bring together history, culture, and real stories to highlight some of our dysfunction.

Listen in to learn about the lost art of ritual and ceremony, what happens when moral clarity goes away, what’s worse than keeping up with the Joneses, what honor actually looks like, female entitlement versus female support and admiration, and much more:

References:

Matrimony by Stephen Jenkinson

The Way of Men by Jack Donovan

'Inside the Manosphere' by Jack Donovan: https://mrjackdonovan.substack.com/p/...

'Sacred or For Sale: Why We Can't Have Both’ by Anya Shakh: https://anyashakh.substack.com/p/sacr...

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro & Episode Overview 

01:09 — Reading "Matrimony" & Bursting Into Tears 

02:42 — Sacredness vs. The Marketplace 

04:21 — The Netflix Manosphere Documentary 

05:09 — Symptoms of a Dying Culture 

07:10 — The Manosphere as a Clown Show 

08:52 — Platforming Caricatures of Men 

10:37 — The Gaping Hole of Support for Young Men 

11:04 — Why Young Men Listen to Toxic Influencers 

13:43 — Honoring Chief Warrant Officer Eric Slover 

15:45 — The Humble Local Gym Trainer 

17:46 — Quiet Masculine Strength & Integrity 

20:13 — Ayaan Hirsi Ali on What Women Innately Want 

20:57 — The Feminine Frequency & Fanning the Flame 

21:36 — The Story of Rabbi Akiva & Rachel 

23:56 — Modern Female Entitlement 

26:14 — Singles Events: Entitlement vs. Lack of Courage 

30:43 — The Post-MeToo Dating Marketplace 

31:17—Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I explored the duality of patrimony and matrimony. While we barely discuss matrimony in our culture, we definitely don't think about patrimony. Our dismissal of patrimony's importance in sustaining a healthy society is one of the reason's we are unraveling.

Listen in as I draw on myth, tribal wisdom, and an exploration of the meanings of patrimony and matrimony and how they work together.

Referenced in this episode is Stephen Jenkinson's book, Matrimony - Ritual, Culture, and the Heart's Work: https://orphanwisdom.com/store/matrimony/

I wrote a short piece about this in my newsletter last week: https://anyashakh.substack.com/p/patrimony-matrimonys-other-half.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: Matrimony vs. Patrimony 

02:05 — The Breakdown of Modern Marriage 

02:48 — The House Metaphor: Wiring vs. Warmth 

04:34 — Home as the Amniotic Sea of Human 

06:55 — Ancient Tribes & Genetic Diversity 

08:45 — The Role of Elders in Matchmaking 

10:28 — The Grimm Brothers & The Devil's Three Hairs 

12:15 — The Danger of Hyper-Romanticizing Life 

13:39 — Patrimony as the Aisle of Matrimony 

16:16 — The Mother Work of Matrimony & Lost Traditions

20:00— Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I continue with the exploration of men, women, and work. Last week I looked at how the Industrial Revolution broke the initial bond between men and women and what has occurred since then.

Watch it here: How the Bond Between Men and Women Broke D...  

I continue on here with the question - how can men and women find harmony today? I argue that if we continue to look at life from an autonomous egalitarian perspective, we won’t be able to.

Listen in as I discuss three pillars that we need to come together on if we’re going to have a chance. Learn about the different schools of feminist thought pre-suffrage, the importance of motherhood, sacred time versus market time, a recent paper on fertility from Denmark, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — The Cost of Equality & Motherhood 

00:42 — Intro: Working Together in the AI Age 

01:32 — How the Industrial Revolution Divided Us 

02:02 — Why "A Man Provides" is a Harmful Mantra 

03:30 — The Modern Search for Meaning 

05:28 — The 1960s Shift to the Public Sphere 

08:01 — The Unquantifiable Value of a Mother 

10:04 — Prioritizing Ritual & Community 

11:20 — The Danish Fertility Paradox 

13:06 — Feminism of Freedom vs. Feminism of Care 

17:09 — Masculine Vision & Feminine Manifestation 

19:32 — Workplace Double Standards & Maternity 

20:47 — Embracing Natural Biological Strengths 

21:43 — Building Complementary Businesses Today 

24:46 — Why people aren’t having kids

25:28 — Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a mindset coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Ready to make some life changes? Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I explore what really happened to men and women when work first left the home.

The effects of the Industrial Revolution on the bond between men and women is something that is not spoken about often. In the name of productivity, progress, and consumption - we have traded many things most of all meaning.

Listen in as I highlight some pieces of history that are important in putting together the puzzle of male and female dynamics.

Learn about why the temperance movement started, what first separated men and women, why male vices grew in the nineteenth century, and much more.

Perhaps this is all a transition to a more beautiful and whole future state? What do you think? That is something I’ll explore in the next episode.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: Masculine & Feminine Dynamics

00:41 — Welcome & Episode Overview

01:22 — Men's Coaching Announcement

02:10 — The Industrial Revolution's True Impact

03:42 — 1913 News & The End of the Dowry

06:09 — Complementary Opposites: The Sun & The Moon

09:33 — The Pre-Industrial Reality of Women's Work

11:51 — The Heavy Plow & Mechanization of Labor

14:46 — Stephen Jenkinson & The Monetization of Goods

15:29 — Overworked Men & The Rise of Male Vices

17:20 — Why Women Started the Temperance Movement

19:14 — Suppressed Grief & The Feminization of the Church

21:55 — Post-WWII Comfort & The 1950s Housewife Trap

23:38 — Confusing Earning Power With Co-Creational Energy

25:40 — Returning to Harmony & Future Dynamics

26:51 — Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a men's mental health coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Ready to make some life changes? Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

About This Episode

In this guest episode I sit down with Professor Marc J. Defant, Professor of Geology and Geochemistry whose work spans the physical sciences and evolutionary psychology.

Recently he published a peer-reviewed paper in Sexuality & Culture titled “Evolutionary Psychology and the Crisis of Empirical Rigor in Feminist Studies” - https://rdcu.be/eOkjZ

The paper argues that much of modern feminist scholarship is ideology and not grounded in any truth. Professor Defant and I discuss how social constructivism has created confusion about relationships, work, masculinity, and femininity. We explore human evolution, parental investment theory, cross-cultural studies of mate selection preferences, and much more.

Listen in to learn how feminism might have broken an old template but has gone too far in denying human nature, why suppressing sex differences actually clarifies them more, the real roots of the pay gap, and what’s really going on between men and women today.

Get in touch with Professor Marc J. Defant here: https://www.marcdefant.com/about/

-Watch his TED talk here: https://youtu.be/_nCOhrYV7eg?si=SmxngOyM1fTCaO1aTIMESTAMPS:

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro & Attraction Differences

01:00 — Introducing Professor Marc J. Defant 

01:56 — Background in Evolutionary Psychology 

03:11 — Feminist Critiques of Biology 

04:00 — Social Constructivism vs. Instincts 

06:48 — Motherhood & Changing Priorities 

08:44 — How Fatherhood Changes Men 

10:11 — Human Evolution & Brain Size 

11:51 — Male Parental Investment 

14:25 — Cross-Cultural Mate Preferences 

14:56 — Why Men Value Youth & Beauty 

16:26 — Modern Women Providing Resources 

18:51 — The APA on Toxic Masculinity 

20:06 — High-Earning Women & Divorce 

21:33 — The Crisis in Feminist Studies 

23:44 — Fat Studies & Health at Every Size 

25:52 — Body Positivity & Reproductive Suppression 

28:16 — Unrealistic Beauty Standards 

29:32 — Societal Pressures on Young Men 

31:24 — Objectification vs. Natural Attraction 

32:20 — The Importance of Inner Beauty 

33:53 — Women's Long-Term Mate Preferences 

35:28 — Hetero-Pessimism & Dating Apathy 

36:21 — Female Entitlement & Independence 

37:04 — The Patriarchy & The Pay Gap 

38:35 — Flexibility & Occupational Choices 

40:01 — Women Dominating Modern Fields 

42:00 — Rethinking Societal Expectations 

44:36 — Male Competition & Workplace Dynamics 

46:08 — Did Early Feminism Misunderstand Needs? 

47:00 — The Alternative Path of Early Feminism 

49:15 — The Biological Reality of the Sexes 

51:45 — Consequences of Blank Slate Theory 

54:10 — Equal Opportunity vs. Equal Outcomes 

56:30 — How Men & Women Communicate Differently 

59:00 — The Importance of Complementary Roles 

01:01:20 — Fixing the Modern Dating Market 

01:03:45 — Advice for Young Men Today 

01:06:15 — Navigating Career vs. Motherhood 

01:08:45 — Building a Meaningful Partnership 

01:12:46 — Discussing Marriage Expectations Early
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a men's mental health coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Ready to make some life changes? Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I highlight the pervasive heteropessimism that exists in the culture today (on both sides of the aisle). Inspired by this recent article written by Mana Afsari - https://thepointmag.com/examined-life...

I dive into one of the blind spots I see happening in dating: categorical thinking. I wrote a short piece about this - find it here: https://anyashakh.substack.com/p/the-...

Listen in to learn about what categorical thinking looks like and how we’ve decoupled humanity from the opposite sex. I also link this idea to the historical example of what was happening in the Weimer Republic in Germany 100 years ago and how today's struggles can be an analogue to that time (inspired by https://www.louiseperry.co.uk/p/weima...)

One thread I’d like to continue to pull on is how to separate romantic love and pair bonding. Romantic feelings won't get people to their gold wedding - this is an important piece of the conversation.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

02:18 — Setting up the main idea

04:42 — Where people misunderstand this

07:05 — The emotional dynamic at play

09:29 — What this reveals about relationships

11:53 — The deeper psychological layer

14:17 — How this pattern shows up in real life

16:41 — Why most people miss this

19:06 — The consequence of ignoring it

21:30 — What actually changes things

23:54 — The core takeaway

26:25 — Outro
___________________________

Beyond the podcast I'm a men's mental health coach. I help you reprogram the patterns and belief systems that are sabotaging your power, peace, and love life. Ready to make some life changes? Book a free consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/discov...

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I dive into a teaching that can help us understand the difference between solid and sturdy love versus insecure attachment (or filling a void).

In the midst of the gender discourse, conversations about love and humanity can get skipped over. There is a foundational human-ness that exists in men and women that is found through trust, respect, and appreciation that must exist first. Then we can layer the masculinity and femininity conversations on top of this.

Listen in to learn about where most modern relationships go wrong, the two human souls, how healing works, where masculine and feminine energy comes in, why the Sound of Music is a great example of true love in film, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

02:40 — Why The Sound of Music still resonates

05:25 — Remembering impact over details

08:05 — When ideals clash with reality

10:47 — Admiration, respect, and integrity

13:30 — The voids shaped by childhood

16:13 — How pain turns into darkness

18:52 — Reflection and pause

21:37 — What a trustworthy man looks like

24:58 — Integrating the lesson

27:01 — Outro
___________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Ready to make some serious moves in your life? I offer 1:1 mentorship, healing, and coaching to help you get unstuck, experience your full range of power, and find ease and connection in love and relationships. Book a consultation today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/1on1se...

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

In this episode I am joined by Igor Vasilevitsky, a counselor, father, and exceptional writer on all things healing, masculinity, and femininity. He works with archetypes to help men and women heal and grow (he has helped me on my own journey).

We dive into the benevolent or divine father archetype and unpack why he is so important in our world. The father represents guidance towards what is good and it’s very clear how we as a society deeply long for our collective 'dad' to come home to us.

Listen in as we dissect the masculine archetypes, demystify the healthy father, discuss power and love, how anyone can learn to father themselves, and so much more.

Igor, as a father himself, has created an online community hub for men who are seeking to mature into the healthiest, most benevolent and generative versions of masculinity. You can find the group here:   / 1599769308033077  

Other ways to get in touch with Igor:

Book a session: https://taplink.cc/igor_healing

Find him and his writing on facebook:   / igor.vasilevitsky

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro & The Journey to Fatherhood 

01:05 — Welcoming guest

02:06 — Defining Archetypes: Blueprints of the Soul 

03:00 — The Evolution of Feminine Archetypes 

03:45 — Cultural Conditioning vs. Inner Truth 

06:40 — Healing the Father Wound

07:45 — Embodying the Benevolent Father Energy 

10:00 — Creating Safety for Women & Children 

11:05 — Defining True Masculine Presence 

13:40 — Reading Igor’s Writing on the Father 

14:35 — From Atheism to Divine Fatherhood 

16:15 — Surrendering the Ego to Something Greater 

18:40 — The Rise of the Feminine & The Missing Masculine 

20:00 — Moving Past "Bad Dad" Tropes & Misandry 

21:00 — The Universal Longing for a Father 

22:30 — Expressing Anger at the Absent Father 

24:10 — Developing an Inner Moral Compass 

24:55 — The Tyrant vs. The Nice Guy 

26:15 — Shadow Work & Reclaiming Power 

27:35 — Spiritual Atheism & The Narcissistic Ego 

29:20 — Fathering Yourself vs. Being Run by Impulses 

29:50 — Example: How the Benevolent Father Handles Anxiety 

32:00 — Replacing Shame with Benevolent Guidance 

34:05 — The NFL Statistic: Fathers & Success 

34:40 — The King Archetype Defined 

35:40 — King vs. Father: The Difference 

37:45 — Developmental Paths: Lover vs. Warrior Boys 

39:10 — Why We Need Guardrails 

42:25 — The Purpose of the Warrior Archetype 

44:40 — Why Boys Need Duality (Good vs. Bad) 

46:25 — The Magician Archetype: The Alchemist 

47:30 — The Shadow Magician: Intellectualization 

48:40 — Example: Shaping Relational Reality 

52:00 — The Lover Archetype & The Heart 

53:35 — The Danger of Getting Lost in Emotion 

56:00 — The Mother Wound & Failure to Launch 

57:00 — Rites of Passage & Cutting the Cord 

59:20 — The Benevolent Father Course Details 

01:04:23 — final thoughts/Outro
___________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Ready to make some life changes? I offer 1:1 mentorship to help you get unstuck, experience your power, and find ease in love and relationships. Book a breakthrough session today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/1on1se...

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

Girls and women are driven by one central evolutionary purpose - to protect their bodies well enough to create and sustain life. A woman’s survival strategy and inner drive is fundamentally different from a man’s because while his is focused on the macro, hers is on the micro.

I get into the evolutionary psychology of boys and men in the previous episode which can provide context here.

Listen in to learn why girls are hyper-vigilant, show higher rates of anxiety and depression, avoid risk, and invest heavily in politeness and emotionally driven relationships, and much more.

SOURCE: Joyce Benenson’s book ‘Warriors & Worriers’

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: Why Parents Treat Girls Gently 

00:37 — Warriors and Worriers: The Psychology of Girls 

01:26 — One-on-One Coaching Announcement 

01:54 — The Core Evolutionary Drive: Self-Preservation 

03:23 — The Number One Fear: Dying Before Motherhood 

05:08 — Historical Mortality Rates & Female Caution 

06:19 — The Nursery Study: Susceptibility to Fear 

08:18 — Parenting Bias: Protecting the Stronger Sex? 

10:31 — Risk Perception: Why Men Do "Stupid" Things 

11:51 — Agoraphobia, Claustrophobia & Social Fears 

13:06 — Reliability in the Home: Daughters vs. Sons 

15:15 — Intellectual Risk: Sticking to the Status Quo 

16:19 — Male Fluid Intelligence vs. Female Verbal Skills 

17:12 — The Trap of Misdirected Empathy 

18:33 — Mothering the Community & Grandmother Wisdom 

19:35 — Hypervigilance: Reading Intentions Instantly 

20:39 — The Historical Threat of Poisoning 

21:37 — Assessing Vulnerabilities in Female Friendships 

22:23 — The Politeness Experiment: Disappointing Gifts 

25:39 — Textiles, Creativity & Individual Affirmation 

28:18 — Outro
___________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Ready to make some life changes? I offer 1:1 mentorship to help you get unstuck, experience your power, and find ease in love and relationships. Book a breakthrough session today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/1on1se...

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

Boys and men are driven by a foundational fear that modern culture has forgotten about - the enemy. The inner drive that boys and men have is to defeat the enemy and keep us safe - this is one of the most noble things that exists in our world and yet it is ignored and misunderstood today.

In this episode I break down why boys are naturally drawn to competition, strategy fighting, and testing themselves against opposition. Based on Joyce Benenson’s book, ‘Warriors & Worriers’ I explain the natural skills and behaviors that boys have and why we should uplift and support them.

Listen in to learn about how boys brains function differently than girls, why boys communicate, how they play, why they are such great innovators, and much more.

Next week I will be diving into the psychology of girls.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — INTRO; Fluid Intelligence Teaser 

01:33 — Joyce Benenson & "Warriors and Worriers"

02:54 — The Core Male Fear: The Enemy 

05:32 — Rough & Tumble Play Psychology 

06:00 — The Balloon Study: Hitting vs. Hugging

07:58 — The Empathy Study: Brains & Electric Shocks 

10:32 — Cultural Critique: Decriminalization & Safety 

12:28 — "Killing the Dragon" & Securing the Family 

14:38 — Peak Fluid Intelligence (Ages 18-25) 

16:32 — Single Focus vs. Relationship Connection 

18:19 — The Street Crossing Analogy 

19:57 — The Education Crisis for Boys 

21:33 — Male Communication Styles & Directives 

22:54 — Conflict Resolution: The Valuable Relationship Hypothesis 

27:07 — Outro
___________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Ready to make some life changes? I offer 1:1 mentorship to help you get unstuck, experience your power, and find ease in love and relationships. Book a breakthrough session today - https://calendly.com/anyashakh/1on1se...

Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: https://anyashakh.substack.com (Insights about men and women in your inbox every week)

One thing that gets missed often in discussions about men and women is how little men around the world experience non-sexual touch and affection. This goes hand in hand with the lack of care our culture exhibits towards men.

Listen in to learn about three myths and truths reflecting men, the data behind touch, how testosterone and attachment work together, the origin of the word wife, and much more.

Ready to dive into 2026 crushing your goals and being fully supported? Join TRUE NORTH - my 3 month long mastermind for men. We start next week. This is an intimate space with limited spots available - book a 1:1 call here to secure your place: https://calendly.com/anyashakh/truenorth

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: The Crisis of Non-Sexual Touch 

00:44 — Welcome Back & "Year of the Horse" 

01:43 — True North Mastermind Announcement 

05:09 — The Touch Deficit in Boys 

06:25 — Testosterone & Delayed Attachment 

07:56 — The "Man Up" Narrative 

09:40 — Myth: Men Just Want Sex 

11:00 — The Sterilization of Affection in Society 

13:00 — Social Differences: Slumber Parties vs. "Go Play" 

14:32 — The Shift at Age Six: Joining the "Men's Tribe" 

15:54 — When Sex Becomes the Only Outlet for Touch 

16:51 — Myth: Men Lack Emotional Expression 

17:48 — The Fear of Overwhelming Emotion 

19:40 — Men’s Fear of Their Own Sexuality 

20:56 — The Origin of the Word "Wife" 

22:20 — The Male Archetype: Protector & Provider 

24:00 — The "Cosmic Wife" & The Power of Trust 

26:51 — Outro
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Happy New Year Everyone!

In this episode I unpack why healthy male power is actually a force for good in the world and why the true danger lies in powerlessness.

I trace how unacknowledged boys can grow into passive or angry men and I talk about the three most important ways that a young boy finds his healthy power as he grows up.

Listen in to learn about the differences between male and female power, why being of service in the world is impossible without power, the difference between power and force, and so much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: Power & Male Happiness 

01:05 — Client Wins: Vision & Success 

02:46 — The Healer’s Story: Releasing Trauma 

03:38 — The Spectrum of Powerlessness: Rage vs. Passivity 

05:37 — The "Nice Guy" & People Pleasing 

06:41 — Defining True Power vs. Force 

08:23 — The Extreme Consequence of Isolation 

10:51 — Phase 1: Affirmation from Mother 

12:52 — The Trap of the "Mother’s Son" 

14:37 — Phase 2: The Father’s Nod of Approval 

16:08 — Phase 3: Self-Mastery & Purpose 

17:45 — The Impact of a Critical Father 

18:44 — Three Traits of an Attractive Man 

20:54 — Releasing Trauma from the Body 

22:21 — Female Power: Devotion to Love 

24:07 — Attraction: Male Power & Female Devotion 

25:39 — Balancing Internal & External Worlds 

27:07 — Mastermind Announcement 

28:33 — New Year Wishes

30:09 — Outro
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In this episode I break down gamma bias - what it is, why it matters, and how it’s hurting relationships between men and women. I break down the 4 areas of gamma bias and how it shapes headlines, culture, and media reporting. I look at data around domestic violence and women in universities.

Listen in to learn about how gamma bias has eroded female accountability, why we don’t publicly celebrate men, and what it’s going to take to heal relationships between men and women on a macro scale.

If you’re a man who feels frustrated and apathetic right now, I have something for you. I’m currently accepting applications for TRUE NORTH - my 3 month long mastermind for men. If you’re serious about starting 2026 with clarity, grounding, momentum, and accountability - apply here:https://anyashakh.com/true-north-the-...

Article about gamma bias: https://anyashakh.substack.com/p/men-...

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: The "Bad Man" Narrative 

01:34 — True North Mastermind Announcement 

02:29 — Understanding Gamma Bias 

04:11 — Alpha vs. Beta Bias 

05:49 — The Four Quadrants of Gender Perception 

08:12 — Why Society Ignores Male Heroism 

09:50 — The "Default Bad" Narrative for Boys 

11:57 — The Data on Female Perpetration & Domestic Violence 

13:03 — Case Study: The Aurora Theater Shooting 

14:44 — Deconstructing Myths of Male Privilege 

17:08 — Female Privilege & The Education Gap 

18:35 — Victimhood Culture & The "Me Too" Fallout 

19:50 — The Silent Crisis: Homelessness, Suicide, & Sentencing 

21:09 — Evolutionary Biology vs. Modern Narratives 

24:05 — Creating a Future of Mutual Accountability 

27:24 — Final thoughts/Outro
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I've got something special for you. This episode gets into the root cause of why we can feel dissatisfied, overwhelmed, and avoidant in our lives while introducing TRUE NORTH - a 3 month mastermind to combat that. It's a safe space for intelligent men to tap into their power, potency, and purpose across all domains of life.

If you want to start 2026 experiencing big momentum, if you're ready to expand and transform then TRUE NORTH is calling. Listen in to learn about how this mastermind experience can be a game-changer for your self-development and whether you're a good fit.

We start in January with early bird special pricing live through Christmas Day. This is very intimate space with limited spots.

APPLY HERE: https://app.youform.com/forms/u299chuh

Read more about it here: https://anyashakh.com/true-north-the-...

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro & The Search for Freedom 

00:50 — Announcement: Special Program for Men

01:15 — The Pain of Not Being Seen 

02:02 — Understanding Overwhelm & Loneliness 

03:55 — Accessing Your Highest Potential 

04:23 — The Five Essential Human Needs 

05:16 — Introduction to the Mastermind Concept 

06:13 — Defining True North: Program Goals 

07:02 — The Ubuntu Philosophy & Tribal Wisdom 

08:04 — Breaking Negative Reinforcement Patterns 

08:42 — The Art of Receiving & Integration 

09:14 — Finding Your "True North" 

10:01 — Healing Through Relationship Dynamics 

11:22 — Integrity & Intimate Group Spaces 

11:59 — Curating a Space for Transformation 

12:53 — Quantum Leaps: The Hero’s Journey 

14:05 — From "Mr. Fix-It" to Self-Prioritization 

15:16 — Action-Oriented Coaching vs. Therapy 

16:11 — Attachment Theory & Somatic Work 

17:45 — Why This Approach Works for Men 

19:12 — Direct Feedback & Hotseat Coaching 

21:28 — Setting Three-Month Transformation Goals 

24:35 — Program Logistics & Commitment 

26:17 — Final Call to Action & Conclusion

29:21 — Final thoughts & outro
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I had the privilege of sitting down with Paul Elam for this enlightening conversation. Paul is a well known advocate for men’s rights. He is the founder of ‘A Voice for Men’ - the international conference on men’s issues. He inspired the making of ‘The Red Pill’ movie that aired in 2016. He’s been a men’s advisor and counselor for many decades now, and I appreciate how deeply he cares about supporting men.

It was a pleasure to talk to him and I learned so much - I know you will too!

We unpack the hidden assumptions about dating and marriage in the west under the ‘romantic model.' We also spend time getting to the bottom of why men are still so misunderstood in the west and what men need now more than anything.

Listen in to learn about the origins of the romantic model, different priorities of men and women, what’s missing from the mythopoetic movement, the change in male consciousness, the biggest killer of men, what a woman owes her marriage, being a ‘guardian of respect,’ and so much more.

Connect With Paul:

Via X: https://x.com/RealPaulElam

Via Substack: https://paulelam.substack.com/

XY Crew: https://paulelam.com/xycrew/

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro & Preview: "Coddled Princesses" 

00:32 — Welcome: Introducing Paul Elam

01:53 — A Brief History of the Men's Movement 

02:36 — From 1920s Protests to the Mythopoetic Movement 

04:36 — The "Red Pill" Explosion & Its Flaws 

05:49 — The Missing Piece: Accountability for Women 

07:05 — The Critical Question: "What Do You Bring to the Table?" 

08:52 — How We Got Here: Family Courts & The Romantic Model 

10:24 — Hostile Dependency & Asserting Autonomy 

11:24 — Contradictions: Feminism, Girlbosses, and Tradwives 

13:07 — The Origins of Gynocentrism & Courtly Love 

15:40 — Why the Romantic Model Failed After Divorce Stigma Lifted 

18:12 — Trying to Satiate the Insatiable 

20:22 — The "Simp" Dynamic: Groveling Breeds Resentment 

21:58 — Why "Wild Man" Retreats Avoid the Real Issues 

24:55 — Peeling Back Gynocentrism: Treating Each Other as Human 

26:28 — Evolution vs. Socialization in Attraction 

28:22 — The Paradox of Women's Unhappiness 

30:19 — Disconnection from the Feminine Body 

31:36 — The Necessity of Being Complete Before Relationships 

33:30 — Understanding How Men Are Manipulated by Shame 

35:49 — "Human Doings": Men's Value Tied to Provision 

39:11 — Paul's Stance: Rejecting Legal Marriage 

40:58 — Biblical Roles & The Myth of the 1950s Housewife 

43:40 — Critique of the "She Has No Worries" Mindset 

46:13 — Controversial Advice: Stop "Dating" Entirely 

48:51 — The Transactional Nature of Modern Dating 

50:00 — Debunking the Soulmate Myth 

52:41 — Men, Silence, and the "Defective Women" Therapy Model 

53:44 — Men Heal Through Action (The Michael Jordan Story) 

56:06 — The Erosion of Male Spaces & The Bystander Effect 

59:43 — Daniel Penny & The Risks of Male Protection 

01:01:49 — Personal Safety: Agency vs. Expecting Protection 

01:02:45 — Most Men's Issues Stem from Relationship Choices 

01:04:18 — The Mirror Test: Taking Accountability for Abusive Partners 

01:05:54 — Self-Esteem vs. Self-Respect 

01:08:35 — Paul’s Relationship Secret: Being the "Guardian of Respect" 

01:10:52 — Teaching Women the Definition of Respect 

01:13:23 — The Ultimate Power: Willingness to Walk Away 

01:15:09 — Conclusion & Where to Find Paul Elam
___________________________

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In this episode I dive into an excerpt from G.K Chesterton’s essay, The Emancipation of Domesticity, which gives us an important insight about the roles of men and women. Chesterton argued that men are specialists and women are generalists and paired with the greater male variability, we can use this insight to uncover many of the cultural, domestic, and social issues that exist between us.

Listen in to learn about what Chesterton thought a woman’s duty was, why the west have the most free women on the planet, why modern women want to quit their high-status outside of the home jobs, why women are more geared towards generalization, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro: Ancient Intelligence

01:22 — Announcement: True North Mastermind for Men 

02:53 — G.K. Chesterton & The Emancipation of Domesticity

04:35 — The Woman’s Duty: The Ultimate Generalist 

05:37 — Evolutionary Psychology: Competition vs. Connection 

07:16 — Industrialization & The Male Specialist 

09:12 — Are Women Second Class Citizens in the West? 

13:08 — Greater Male Variability & IQ Distribution 

14:05 — Understanding the "Mental Load" 

16:07 — A Story of Two Mindsets: The Club vs. The Podcast 

17:40 — How Industry Displaced the Generalist 

18:24 — The Happiest Women: Monetizing Passion 

20:30 — Final Thoughts  

21:17 — Outro
___________________________

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This week I thought it would be interesting to do a deep dive into the ‘Cool Girl’ archetype because it’s so prevalent in our culture. Most of us can relate to either being her, knowing her, or dating her.

Listen in to learn about what drives the cool girl, how she relates to men, where her biggest pain point is, why the ‘nice guy’ is her opposite-sex mirror, and much more.

The first part of the video is all about the cool girl and her motives, while the second part of the video is an analysis of two films that help us paint the picture of distinction between the ‘cool girl’ and the ‘feminine woman.’ (My Best Friend's Wedding and The Fighter).

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

00:38 — The cool girl always loses  

02:24 — The gold in the shadow  

04:50 — She always seeks outside herself  

07:17 — The big mistake she makes  

09:45 — Men pick up on the low self esteem  

12:11 — Jungian frameworks  

14:38 — My Best Friend’s Wedding Analysis 

17:04 — Cool Girl Versus Feminine Woman 

19:30 — Feminine Vulnerability is strength  

21:57 — Female Psychology

24:23 — The Fighter Analysis  

26:50 — True Feminine Leadership  

28:37 — Outro
___________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

Interested in TRUE NORTH? An intimate group mastermind to help you get unstuck and experience power and potency in all domains of your life. Join the waitlist to experience first access, epic discounts, and the best bonuses: https://forms.gle/MpNiUgg8VtHbnZ3x9

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In this episode, I unpack the question - could much of the frustration and difficulty in dating and mating be attributed to (at least in part) to hyper-elite women practicing what is known as ‘Reproductive Suppression’?

Vogue published an article titled ‘Is Having a Boyfriend Lame?’ Which prompted Rob Henderson to put forth his hypothesis about Reproductive Suppression in this brilliant piece titled ‘Girl Boss Gatekeeping’ - https://www.robkhenderson.com/p/girlb...

I draw on research from Rob Henderson and Dr. Dani Sulikowski as I break down female intragroup conflict and why all the body positivity, you don’t need a man, and red flag culture that seems like it’s in solidarity with women might actually be a covert strategy to keep women from finding mates.

Listen in to learn about how high-status females (including chimps) keep low-status females away from mates, how modern tech amplifies ‘aspirational’ lifestyles, why rom-coms feel like castration for men, how dark-triad traits correlate with anti-natalism, and much more.

This one is an evolutionary psychology nerding out episode - enjoy!

TIMESTAMPS:

00:53 —Intro 

01:03 —One on one coaching spots

03:15 — The Question of Elite Women as "Mean Girls"

05:00 — The Proximate and Ultimate Reasons for Elite Women's Behavior

06:16 — Intergroup Conflict and Covert Passive Aggression in Women 

07:36 — Unconscious Competitive Strategy to Keep Women from Mates 

10:12 —  Girl Boss, Body Positivity, & Female Entitlement 

13:16 — Technology, Consumerism, and the Tornado of Reproductive Suppression

14:37 — Heartbreak of Women Who Prioritised Career Over Family 

17:00 — Reproductive Sabotage: Disrupting Women's Mating Preferences 

18:01 — Demonising Traditional Masculine Traits & Rom-Com Castration

20:50  — Proximate vs. Ultimate Summary & Lying to Women

21:58 — Elite Women's Access to Resources and Protection

23:55  — Male Envy and Psychopathic Insanity 

24:50 — Dark Triad Traits and Lack of Introspection

25:52 — The Frustration of double standards

27:16 — Historical Examples: Elizabeth Cady Stanton & Victoria Woodhull 

28:54 — The Narrative of Oppression vs. Reality for Elite Women 

29:57 — The Twisting of Pain into Man Envy (Betty Friedan) 

31:17 — Conclusion & Call to Action for Harmony

32:24 — Outro
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In this episode I get into a soulful conversation about what it means to be a woman. I break down the three deep desires a woman has and how they are perfectly complementary to the three desires a man has. I get into why women don’t seem to be very inspiring to men these days.

Listen in to learn about what a woman’s rites of passage look like, what a woman teaches a man if she’s tuned in, what is missing from women in the mainstream, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro 

00:35 — The Purpose of Womanhood 

01:14 — What Men vs. Women Truly Long For 

04:17 — The Core Wound: Feeling "Not Beautiful" 

05:33 — Womanhood's Power: Comfort with Uncertainty

06:22 — A Woman's Biological Rites of Passage

07:47 — Archetypes: Man as Logos, Woman as Eros 

09:16 — On Faith: Trusting the Unknown 

13:40 — Eros & Logos: Why Control Backfires

4:59 — Example: The 'Pretty Woman' Dynamic 

17:50 — Final Thoughts: Trust & PRO-Vision 

22:51 — Outro
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In this episode, I get into the harmony that exists between dominance and submission through the lens of masculine and feminine energy. I break down what true dominance looks and feels like and why domineering energy is not dominance. I reflect on ancient rites of passage with an example from Africa and bring in an example from salsa dancing as well.

Listen in to learn about the spiritual purpose of rites of passage for men, why dominance without care becomes domineering, why the stages of development matter so much for boys, and more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 — Intro

00:34 — Welcome: The Yin & Yang of Submission

00:55 — A Word on Coaching 

01:28 — What Women Want: Dominance & Devotion 

02:14 — True Dominance is Service 

02:45 — To Be Dominant, You Must Be Submissive

03:20 — Rites of Passage: The Bullet Ant Ritual 

05:37 — The Difference Between Dominance and Domineering 

06:00 — Submitting to a Higher Purpose 

06:57 — Life Stage 1: The Bond With Mom 

09:39 — Life Stage 2: Building Self-Worth With Dad 

13:04 — Life Stage 3: The Male Mentor 

14:40 — A Lesson in Service From a Salsa Class 

15:40 — The Sioux: Warriors & Lovers Without Shame 

18:11 — Conclusion & Outro
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Last week I read this (https://www.compactmag.com/article/th...) article by Helen Andrews called 'The Great Feminization.' There's been loads of discourse around this and I want to offer my take with this week's episode. I also published a short essay on my substack you can read here: https://anyashakh.substack.com/p/why-...

Listen in to learn about what happens when masculine work culture goes too far, when feminine work culture goes too far, the difference between masculine and feminine communism, why men care more about precision and women care more about the experience over the results, do women or men have lower status, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - 00:30 - Intro

00:31 - 01:20 - Set Up

01:21 - 01:58 - Work With Me 1:1

01:59 - 02:44  - Groups matter more

02:45 - 05:18 - Comfort over Truth

05:19 - 07:57  - Basic Yin and Yang Principles

07:58 - 10:36  - Tyranny or Chaos

10:37 - 11:59 - 75% masculine culture

12:00 - 14:20 - What is toxic bro culture?

14:21 - 15:15 - Positive Aspects of Masculine Culture

15:16 -  16:36 - What is toxic female culture?

16:37 -  18:19 - The rules have changed for women

18:20 -  20:00 -  Male and female status is different

20:01 - 23:40 - Balancing masculine energy

23:41 - 25:47 - Training and salsa analogies for this

25:48 - 26:33 - Outro
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This episode is part 2 of Understanding sex differences in work and lifestyle.

I share observations and insights based on data collected by evolutionary psychologist, Stephen Stewart-Williams. This research is important because it negates the big narrative that says women are behind men in prestige and financial gain because of biases and barriers against them.

The data tells a different story.

Part 2 is focused on how money is no longer a masculine contribution, how men have lost the fulfillment in meaning in work that used to be there, how important apprenticeships are for young men, and trying to understand what is work actually for and is the answer to that different for men and women?

00:00 – 00:21 Trailer

00:25 – 00:45 Introduction 

00:45 – 04:19 Women vs Men Narrative 

04:19 – 06:27: Why Fewer Female CEOs Exist 

06:27 – 07:27 Screen Share: Life Values Data 

07:27 – 09:00 Women’s Primary Motivations Beyond Money 

09:00 – 10:00 Why Work Feels Unnatural for Women 

10:00 – 11:23 Societal Pressure vs Personal Values 

11:23 – 12:20 Biological Influence on Preferences 

12:20 – 14:17 Closing Reflections on Purpose and Work

14:17 - 14:26 Outro
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In this episode I share observations and insights based on data collected by evolutionary psychologist, Stephen Stewart-Williams, on work preferences between men and women. This research is important because it negates the big narrative that says women are behind men in prestige and financial gain because of biases and barriers against them.

The data tells a different story. It’s much more to do with women’s actual preferences versus what they say they want.

Listen in to learn about what men and women value most when it comes to work, a simple way to think about a woman’s hormone cycle, what makes work fulfilling, and much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - 02:37 Men and women see work differently

02:37 - 02:53 Stephen Stewart WIlliams

02:54 - 03:24 Work with me one on one

03:25 - 04:13 Men and women as complementary vs competitive

04:13 - 05:58 Understanding gender roles and balance

05:58 - 07:47 Key insights and reflections

07:47 - 10:05 Evolution of modern work and purpose

10:05 - 12:22 Redefining meaning in work and identity

12:22 - 14:30 What makes work enjoyable

14:30 - 16:36 Women’s perspectives and real-life stories

16:36 - 18:46 Picking up motivation and direction

18:46 - 21:10 Cultural pressures and gender expectations

21:10 - 23:40 How life and community have changed

23:40 - 25:39 Final thoughts and reflections
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