Explore every episode of the podcast Amityvilleville

This one is kinda like Practical Magic. And like Harry Potter. Alex hated it, Caroline liked it. Among the least offensive of the Amityville movies, but also among the most boring. We also talk about a trip we took to the Amityville house.

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording, Witches of Amityville Academy is available on the following streaming services:

TUBI

Pluto TV

Xumo

Plex

YouTube

CONTENT WARNING THIS ONE IS NASTY

We have to bleach our eyes after watching this, and still it was far from the worst one we've seen. A gory porno with the unsexiest sex we've ever seen, Amityville Vibrator is about what happens when a director thinks they can be John Waters without any of the charm of John Waters.

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording you can watch Amityville Vibrator (don't though) on the following platforms (don't watch it):

https://ok.ru/video/16616517405253 (don't click this link)

3 Amityville projects for the price of one! This episode has NakedSword original Scared Stiff II: The Amityville Whore, the comedic short Amityville Witch Activity, and the baffling but mercifully short Amityville Cabin.

As of this recording, these movies are available on the following streaming services:

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording, these movies are available on the following streaming services:

Scared Stiff II - Falcon Studios (EXTREMELY NSFW)

Safe For Work Version

Amityville Witch Activity - YouTube

Amityville Cabin - YouTube

(TW: discussion of sexual violence in this week's episode)

Mark Polonia is back, and he's answering the question: What if Amityville but on an island. There are possessed sharks and bears, zombies, nanobots, and enough dangling plot threads to knit a sweater.

Follow Rob and Brian and listen to Box office Gross! 

Brian on Bluesky

Rob on Bluesky

Box Office Gross on Bluesky

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording, Amityville Island is available on the following streaming services:

Xumo

Roku

Tubi

Aaron Samuels from Mean Girls hammers his family to death and then his daughter joins a convent and hangs out with Stacy Dash from Clueless. Also some other stuff happens, probably. This movie is boring, but at least Autumn's here

LINKS:
Autumn on instagram

Autumn on Tiktok

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording, The (Amityville) Dawn is avaible on the following streaming platforms:

TUBI

Fandango At Home

Ooooooh boy, look at us! Amityvilleville is hitting the big time with Patrick Brice, the director of the Creep movies, the series The Creep Tapes, The Overnight, Corporate Animals and many more! Don't let the critics fool you, this movie gets some terrible reviews, but it is something completely unique in the Amityville canon: A mumblecore romantic-comedy Amityville movie! Join real-life husband and wife duo Charlie and Buzi (pronounced "bougie") as they take their time doing just about everything, and just love the shit out of one another. Does any horror happen? Not really. Is there a 5 minute montage over a song about Buzi's butt? You better believe it. It's movies like this one that keep us coming back.

Watch Patrick Brice's work! The Creep movies and There's Someone Inside Your House are on Netflix and the third season of The Creep Tapes just premiered on Shudder and AMC! 

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording, Amityville: Mt. Misery Road is available on the following streaming platforms:

YouTube

Xumo

Plex

Tubi

Hey! We're taking a week off just because our lives got so busy we couldn't watch the world's worst music. But we are very excited to be back at you next week with Amityville: Mt. Misery Road. You can watch it HERE. But why would you want to.

Hey! You like remakes? Well tough, because today we're watching The Amityville Murders with Josh Boerman of The Worst of All Possible Worlds and Ill Conceived podcasts, and it's basically just Amityville II with less incest. They even got two actors from Amityville II to show up for minor roles! Watch it. Or don't. That's kinda on you.

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording, The Amityville Murders is available for rent on YouTube. 

(AKA Against the Night) A bunch of teens go to a prison and end up in a slash movie. This one has nudity and aliens, but it doesn't have character development, or any real lighting for about 35 minutes. Never has an Amityville movie had so much promise just through its setup, and never has that promise been more squandered. 

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this writing, Amityville Prison/Against the Night is available on the following streaming services:

TUBI

Plex

We're 2 for 2 on absolute bangers. This the first major studio Amityville movie since the 2005 Ryan Reynolds remake, and it might actually be the best in the series so far? At least according to Alex and Caroline? Thankfully we have Will Rogers, co-host of the Guide to the Unknown podcast to talk sense. Belle's comatose brother James becomes the vessel for something sinister, and a lot of spooky stuff happens, and there's some good acting and some good ideas, and that may not sound like a ringing endorsement, but for an Amityville movie, it's a certified classic.

LINKS:

Will's podcast Guide to the Unknown (and other links to his work)

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording, Amityville: The Awakening is available on the following streaming services:

TUBI

CWTV

Philo

Plex

YouTube

🚨BANGER ALERT🚨This week on AVV, Caleb and Juniper from the Kill the Computer Podcast join us as we get a much needed respite from the absolute trash we've been watching. This movie has pretty much everything you could want from an Amityville movie -- ghosts, ghouls, zombies, aliens, killers, weed, men in drag, comedy, awkward sexy talk, MS Paint special effects, stock sound effects, mannequins getting their heads cut off, and actors who perform like they're in the midst of a night of heavy drinking. Seriously, this is the best movie we've watched since Vanishing Point. Caleb disagrees. lol.

LINKS:

Be sure to check out the incredible kill the computer website: https://killthecomputer.com

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording, Campfire Tales II: All Hallows Eve Horror is available to stream on the following services:

PLEX

From the creators of Amityville Toybox comes a new movie that is about 30% comprised of reused footage from Amityville Toybox! Join us and special guest Matt Farley as we encounter a new nadir in the already struggling Amityville franchise.

Don't forget to listen to Matt Farley's music and watch his movies!

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this recording, you can stream Amityville Clownhouse on the following service:

TUBI

It's holy war at the Dukane house as some haunted lumber turns mild mannered Amy into a goo spitting demon! Will she pose seductively in the forest for a creep? Will her alcoholic dad believe the priest sent their to warn him? Will anything happen in this movie? Who knows! Who cares! ALSO VERY IMPORTANT UPDATES ON THE ERIC ROBERTS SITUATION.

As of this writing, Amityville Exorcism is available free on the following streaming platforms:

TUBI

Pluto TV

LINKS:

The Cameo

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

This week a bunch of people end up in Blair Witch in 2016 and a lady ends up in Paranormal Activity in 1997, and the two plots kinda talk to one another? Will they escape? Well, the answer's right there in the title. The movie is whatever, this week's episode is all about the chattin'. 

As of this recording, Amityville: No Escape is not available on any streaming services due to the director trying to find a new distributor (I asked him on Twitter). If you're dying to see it, it can be purchased directly from director Henrique Couto's website:

Puchase Amityville: No Escape

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

Is the Conjuring 2 an Amityville movie? Some (Caroline) might argue it is, because the first 15 minutes or whatever take place inside the Amityville Horror Home itself. Alex’s old friend, noted vampyr hunter and mortal enemy of the Lutz family Dr. Stephen Kaplan even shows up in a speaking role!! So yeah It’s an Amityville movie, and we’re watching it because if we don’t take a break from the post remake indie films for a week, the Horror will drive us to commit acts of terror and violence never before seen on OR OFF the silver screen. 

Follow @amityvilleville on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter and Bluesky

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this writing, The Conjuring 2 is available on the following platforms:

HBO Max

Join Julia, Jennii, Jeanne, Jade, Brittany, Breana, and a rest of the Jansen family as they do nothing for 70 minutes and mostly die offscreen. Thrill to the exploits of the sex shaming senile granny, behold the spookiness of the color gels they use on the lights, and fear the haunted monkey that doesn't seem to do much of anything.

Alex's Amityville Movies Ranking

Caroline's Amityville Movies Ranking

As of this writing, Amityville Toybox (AKA Amityville Legacy) can be found on the following streaming services:

Tubi

Plex

Fandango

An interview with Paul (Duck) Tucker and Jeff Van Gerwen the creators of the 88th Amityville movie, Amityvillenado!  We talk about the making of the movie and their relationship to the franchise. A wonderful time was had by all! Check out their movie and their podcast.

You can find Amityvillenado on the following streaming services: 

TUBI

Plex

The Roku Channel

Also check out Jeff and Duck's Amityville podcast!

This is another horny one, folks. An unsuspecting family moves into the "Amity House" and finds more than they bargained for. What did they find? You know, the usual stuff, possession, incest, etc etc. Join daughter Jessica as she pisses and moans about everything and carries around a crossbow while she tries to uncover the house's terrifying secret. And join us as we are like "wtf."

Caroline's Letterboxed Rankings

Alex's Letterboxed Rankings

As of this writing you can stream The Amityville Terror on the following services:

TUBI

FUBO

Pluto TV

🚨AMAZING MOVIE ALERT🚨

Join us as we watch Bermuda and Brigitta and Sentinel as they navigate the death of their friend Margaret. A belly dancer dances backward to punk rock, an FBI agent ****** on some baseball cards, Lloyd Kaufman shows up to dispense some esoteric wisdom. Do we have any idea what we're watching? Not really. Did we enjoy it immensely? Oh, you know it. 

Content warning: even by the standards of this show, this episode has some pretty explicit sex conversation, so best not to listen around kids.

LINKS: 

Dylan's Greenberg's band Theophobia

Interview with Dylan Greenberg

Caroline's Letterboxed Rankings

Alex's Letterboxed Rankings

As of this writing, Amityville Vanishing Point is available on the following streaming platform:

Troma Now

"Is this it?"
"Well...what did you expect"
"I don't know but it looks kinda...boring." 

You can say that again, characters in Amityville Playhouse (AKA The Amityville Theater)! It's time to watch a movie where nothing happens and then some more nothing happens? Will Fawn survive? Will Kyle stop being insufferable? The answer to these questions and more is "who cares!" Join us as we learn about some scheme for immortality, a bunch of bland white rooms, and a bunch of canadians who cant act. This is a rough one, gang. 

As of this recording, Amityville Playhouse is available on the following streaming services:

Amazon Prime

TUBI

Plex

Caroline's Letterboxed Rankings

Alex's Letterboxed Rankings

BANGER ALERT - a truly bonkers movie from start to finish. A warlock (possibly celebrity dad and sibling Eric Roberts) resurrects a witch to take vengeance on the town of Amityville, and delivers a plague of unconvincing composite effects, a bunch of people with oatmeal on their faces, and, of course ... the witches teat. Can't recommend this one enough folks. 

As of this recording, Amityville Death House is available on the following streaming platforms:

TUBI

What could be scarier than a cult running a sanitarium , hoping to achieve immortality? Horrifying british accents! This week we watch 2013's Amityville Asylum and learn the horrifying truth about what's going on in the spooky psychiatrict hospital that was built right where 112 Ocean Avenue once stood. And it turns out -- barely anything! Just a lot of standing around? Why do they have so many British patients? Why do the leads sound like they're doing awful American accents? Why won't Caroline stop doing terrible british accents? Can anything be done to stop the madness???

As of this writing, The Amityville Asylum is available for streaming on:

TUBI

The Roku Channel

YouTube

We have reached the indie Amityville movies, and woof -- what a flick to start off with. Join us as not much happens for 90 minutes in this "extream" found footage horror movie. There is a guy named Cut in here though. And a kid named Donny Reddit. Whatever.

As of this writing, The Amityville Haunting is available on the following streaming services:

TUBI

Sling

Pluto TV

Fandango at Home

I thought we just did this movie like 10 movies ago. Oh this time though Ryan Reynolds is acting his butt off. And his shirt off. Like his shirt is off for this entire movie.  

As of this writing, The Amityville Horror (2005) is available on the following streaming services:

TUBI

The Roku Channel

Pluto TV

This week we watch a documentary about Danny Lutz, son of Amityville haunting victim George Lutz, about his experiences growing up in a haunted house. Honestly this one might more harrowing than all the movies we've watched up until this point. 

As of this writing, My Amityville Horror is available on the following streaming services:

Xumo

Philo

Roku

This one is set in the desert for some reason and has nothing to do with Amityville as far as we can tell, but there's spiders, wasps, rats zombie dads, and reused props from other movies Alex has seen. 

Oh and incest. There's more incest.  

As of this writing, Amityville Dollhouse is available on the following streaming platforms:

Pluto TV

The CW

Tubi

Roku

Plex

TW: Suicide

Amityville is a mirror now, I guess. And like in LA? It’s somewhere, but it ain’t amityville. But there's a guy named Keyes Terry. Oh and Locke from Lost is here.

As of this writing, Amityville: A New Generation is streaming on the following services:

Sling

Roku

Plex

Tubi

Amazon

The horror is a sexy clock now, and it can turn you into a baby. Frankly, that's none of my business.

As of this writing, you can watch Amityville 1992: It's About Time on the following streaming services:

Pluto TV

Sling

Plex

Roku

Tubi

Look, Caroline wants to fuck the lamp. I'm no happier about this than you are. 

In this week's movie, a bunch of annoying Canadians go to a house that has nothing to do with the Amityville house, never utter the word Amityville and infuriate the shit out of Alex and Caroline for 90 minutes. To be clear, this episode of the podcast is a banger. But the movie is terrible.

As of this writing, The Amityville Curse is not streaming anywhere, unless you count this 480p version on YouTube with Croatian subtitles. But But of all the films in the series you could possibly skip, this is the one. This movie is not even so bad it's good. 

And fuck Marvin.

This time the horror is a lamp. And maybe a cat?

As of this writing, you can watch Amityville the evil escapes on the following platforms

TUBI

CW

Xumo

Sling

Roku

Here's how my mom and dad fell back in love after my dad bought a haunted house that killed me and then exploded.

As of this writing, Amityville 3-D is available (lamentably, in 2-D) on the following streaming services:

TUBI

Pluto TV

If you are just discovering this podcast, please consider listening to Alex's other podcast, Hyperfixed

We're on the second movie and already deeply upset. The Montellis (not the Lutzes) move into 112 Ocean Avenue, and things go down hill quickly (both for the Montellis and for the viewer).

As of this writing, Amityville II: The Possession is available for streaming on:

Tubi

Pluto

If you are just discovering this podcast, please consider listening to Alex's other podcast, Hyperfixed

The movie that started all. Josh Brolin and Margot Kidder run afoul of priests, pigs and the paranormal. 

As of this writing, The Amityville Horror is available to stream for free on:

Tubi

Sling TV

Pluto TV

If you are just discovering this podcast, please consider listening to Alex's other podcast, Hyperfixed

In this introduction to the Amityville series, Caroline schools Alex about the real life history of the DeFeo family killings, as well as the subsequent "haunting" of the Lutz family. 

A trailer for the new Amityvilleville podcast. Follow us on social media everywhere @ amityvilleville