Explore every episode of the podcast America’s Last Newsroom

Ever been to church? I have. What a place to be! It's got everything. Water, wine, books, pews, microphone, songs, music, and last but not least, God. This is one of the reasons church is so cool. The microphone part. The hosts of America's Last Newsroom also have microphones, and songs, and water, sometimes wine, no pews, songs, which are music, and God. You're probably wondering, God? Yep, he's here. Wait, i mean, she's here! Yes, that's right, God is a woman. I bet you didn't know that! Yep, it's controversial, but it's true. If you disagree, please email tips@americaslastnewsroom.com 

The show description writer has been on summer vacation. I'm his fill in. Did you know that 60% of all timber harvested in North America before 1980 was destroyed in wood-waste burners? Me either! Here's another one. Did you know that the Indian government declared Vishwasrao Chowgule to be the wealthiest person in India in 1976 based on wealth-tax statistics? Hah! I didn't! Did you know that, in the Old Norse saga version of the story of Sir Percival, the nature of the Holy Grail is never explained? I did know that. One fact I did not know is that that Giorgio Valensin wrote an opera while working as a banker in Florence. Reminds of that one time when I was walking down the street and a guy shouts at me asking "hey did you know that the Cook Opera House transitioned from opera to vaudeville to cinema before ending as a venue for strippers and dirty comics?" I was like, sir, I did not know that. He said, "why don't you tell me a fact and see if I know it!" I really wanted to stump him, so I asked him ... did you know that singer Kanako Wada washed the uniforms of her college's rugby team while she was a student? ..... but you want to know the fucked up thing? He did know that. I don't know who he was, but he knew that fact. I should have asked him if he knew that Carrie Smith, the leader of the 1933 Funsten Nut strike, was known for picketing while holding a Bible in one hand and a brick in the other. He probably wouldn't have known! Ahh well.  http://www.americaslastnewsroom.com

tips at americaslastnewsroom.com

Ok, please listen as far as you can. If you're a fan of hidden messages, you should contact your primary care physician and seek help. If you're willing to risk it, listen to the end of this podcast. 

The Holden Commodore (VE) is a full-size car that was produced from 2006 to 2013 by Holden, the former Australian subsidiary of General Motors. Dubbed Holden's "billion dollar baby", the car was available as the Holden Berlina—the mid-range model—and the Holden Calais, the luxury variant; utility body styles were marketed as the Holden Ute.

Succeeding the VZ series, the VE was the first iteration of the fourth generation of the Holden Commodore, a series of automobiles built between 1978 and 2020. Unlike its predecessors, which used Opel-sourced platforms adapted to mechanics and sizes that would suit the local market, the VE was the first Commodore entirely designed and developed by Holden in Australia. To minimize export redevelopment costs, features such as a symmetrical centre console housing a flush-fitting hand brake lever facilitated the conversion to left-hand drive. The VE was internationally badge-engineered as the Chevrolet Lumina, Chevrolet Omega, Bitter Vero Sport and Pontiac G8.

Holden introduced the VE body styles in stages, beginning with the sedan in July 2006. Before this, the company stated they would manufacture two parallel generations of Commodores until the launch of the station wagon and utility. Variants by Holden's performance vehicle partner, Holden Special Vehicles, were released soon after the sedan's debut alongside the long-wheelbase WM Statesman/Caprice models. The VE Ute entered production in 2007, coinciding with the unveiling of the Sportwagon concept car. The production version of the VE Sportwagon—which shared its 2,915 mm (114.8 in) wheelbase with the sedan instead of the extended wheelbase from the Caprice, like previous models—was introduced in July 2008.

Named the 2006 Car of the Year by Wheels, the VE frequently ranked as the annual best-selling automobile in Australia over its production run. Holden introduced updates to the VE as model year (MY) changes. Typically subtle, these recurring changes involved alterations to colours and trim, increased standard equipment and reduced fuel consumption. More noteworthy adjustments have come in the form of a smaller 3.0-litre V6 engine for entry-level versions and "Series II" styling revisions in September 2010.

It's that day again, it's podcast day. Let it be known that today is the podcast comes out. Always on a Thursday, this week it will once again be released on a Thursday. Thursday, aka Donnerstag, because Donner means thunder, and Thursday is really Thor's Day, or Thursday, is probably the best day for our podcast to come out. Why Thursday? Not sure, Devon said, let's release the podcast on Thursdays. I'm sure it has something to do with his schedule. Our schedules are none of your business, so don't ask any of us about those, just know that Thursday, or Thor's Day, is the podcast day. Let's raise a glass, to Thor!

Three figures tumbled out of a dusty station wagon at the edge of a misty pine valley, their sneakers crunching on gravel still warm from the day's sun. One carried a half-deflated yoga mat under his arm like a battle shield. Another clutched a thermos of herbal sludge that smelled like regret and lawn clippings. The third dragged a cooler rattling with electrolyte packets and mysterious unmarked jars.They claimed the creaky wooden lodge as their kingdom for the season. Dawn brought them to the dew-soaked meadow, legs folded like pretzels gone wrong, eyes squeezed shut while a distant gong hummed. Breaths rose and fell in ragged unison until one snorted at a mosquito and the circle dissolved into giggles that echoed off the hills.By midday the wrestling began. It started innocently enough—one tried to demonstrate a "grounding pose" and ended up shoulder-tackling another into a patch of wildflowers. Soon it was ritual: shirts optional, victory declared by whoever pinned the other while reciting made-up mantras backward. They rolled through dandelions, limbs flailing, laughing until their ribs ached, then collapsed in sweaty heaps to stare at clouds shaped like question marks.Evenings found them cross-legged again on the lodge porch, candles flickering as they attempted deeper silence. One night the tallest of the trio swore he heard faint bleating inside his own skull. "It's the anniversary," he whispered, eyes wide. "Thirty years since that Scottish sheep took the world by storm." The words hung strangely in the air. Suddenly the meditation deepened into absurdity: they visualized perfect copies of themselves sprouting from petri dishes, woolly and confused.The next morning they built a shrine from twigs and old socks—an effigy of a sheep with button eyes. During the afternoon grapple, the smallest slipped on a banana peel someone had mysteriously left in the grass and landed nose-first in the shrine. He rose covered in lint and pine needles, bleating triumphantly. The others tackled him in celebration, a writhing pile of limbs chanting cloned nonsense syllables until the sun dipped low.As fireflies blinked their lazy codes around the meadow, the three lay panting on their backs, chests heaving, staring at the same stars they'd ignored for years back in the world of buzzing phones and endless emails. One reached out and playfully noogied his friend's head. Another countered with a half-hearted headlock. The sheep effigy watched over them, slightly lopsided, woolly witness to whatever this summer was becoming. Far off, another gong sounded—real or imagined, it didn't matter. They breathed together once more, ready for tomorrow's inevitable tumble.

What a world we live in, eh? Sometimes it's hard to believe that this is the world we live in. In this episode's description slot—yeah, the one that's supposed to hook you with timestamps and guest bios—let's just cut the crap and wrestle with what quantum reality actually means before our brains melt: the Copenhagen crew insists measurement collapses the wave function into crisp probabilities, turning the universe into a dice-rolling observer-dependent haze where "reality" only snaps into focus when looked at, no hidden variables allowed. Counterpunching is the Many-Worlds gang, screaming that nothing collapses—every possibility branches into its own parallel reality, so Schrödinger's cat is both alive and dead forever, just not in your branch, making the cosmos an infinitely splitting deterministic tree with no special role for consciousness. Then Bohmian mechanics sneaks in with pilot waves guiding particles along definite paths through a non-local, deterministic universe that respects hidden variables but laughs at relativity's speed limits. Throw in objective collapse models that say the wave function randomly fizzles on its own at large scales, QBism treating quantum states as pure personal belief updates, and the relationalists insisting everything is just correlations between systems with no absolute state at all. Is the universe a participatory illusion, a vast multiverse vending machine, or a hidden clockwork conspiracy? Tune in to this weeks episode where we discuss none of this and the boys focus on much more benign aspects of reality, like Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, the teen cigar club from Massachusetts, and Air Canada's best pilot. 

The hosts put on a good show, I will give them that. I do listen to the episodes. They're good. These guys know what's good, and what's funny. Sorry, I have a phone call ... brb

Well here we are again. Still can't believe the hosts of this podcast haven't read any of these descriptions I've been writing. It was fun to reminisce last week, in the podcast description, about my old technical writing days. I'm thinking of doing more creative writing, but I'm not sure what I should be writing, creatively. I guess romance novels are popular. I was at Target and walked down the book aisle (btw, slim pickin's these days ...) and most of the slop they had was romantic novels based on romance. Seems like something I could do. Imagine that, "guy who wrote the manual for the Sanyo answering machine is now writing raunchy romance!" The guy's back at the writing workshop wouldn't believe it. Anyone remember Readers Digest? I've eaten a few of the issues, and let me tell you, very hard to digest! I wrote that for Readers Digest jokes about 30 years ago, they rejected it. My career, outside of the Sanyo answering machine technical instruction manual, has been a career of rejection. Anyway, good ep. Lots of laughs. 

You think this podcast description stuff is easy, don't you? I've said this before, but I'm employed as a podcast description writer. I have a PhD in technical writing and here I am, writing podcast descriptions. This is the only show the hosts forgot to tell me what I should be writing for podcast descriptions, so I use this description space to vent. This shit isn't easy, podcasting descriptions. You're probably wondering how I got into this game, right? Well, back in 1990 I was commissioned by Sanyo to write the translation of the owners manual and warranty card for the TAS 3450 Sanyo Answering Machine, which was known as having one of the most detailed, yet elegant owners manuals in all of electronic goods. I'm not talking elegant like, Carol Alt, Kim Bassinger, or even Princess Diana, I'm talking elegant in the technical sense: achieving maximum clarity and impact with minimal complexity. My work on the TAS 3450 really caught everyone's attention in the industry, and I went on to have a very successful technical writing career. Fast forward to 2026 and I'm writing descriptions for America's Last Newsroom, and NYTimes The Daily, and many many more. The difference between America's Last Newsroom and The Daily is unbelievable. Every time I've submitted a podcast description to The Daily, which is every day, they send back copious amounts of notes and changes that need to be made. America's Last Newsroom has never once read what I have written and approve it within seconds, making me think it's some sort of automated system they have (i'd love to know, maybe I could write a manual about that system). Never once have they opened an email, read my work, or even given positive feedback. So here we are, I get to use their show description as a diary, and you get to understand how technical writers are now writing podcast descriptions. I know no one reads this. Even you, why are you still reading? There's no information in here about the podcast ...

We need to talk. Yes, you. We need to talk. Sit, please. What? No, nothing's wrong, we just have to talk. No! Nothing! I swear, nothing's wrong, we just haven't talked ... a check-in. You only have a few minutes? Because of previous commitments? Well, could you perhaps call your friend and let them know we're having a talk. We haven't talked in a long time, as I mentioned, and I feel like we need to check-in. Ok, just call them. No! It's not a bad thing. Just a check-in. Let me know when you're finished. We just need to chat. Nothing serious. Just a chat. 

April's showers, bring May's flowers, but nothing of June? March? Nothing? I understand "poetic license", but there are MANY more months, at least 12 ... and to only be using a few of them for your little song? Odd. Anyway, good ep, but let me tell you about my dream last night ... I was driving a car through the lobby of a movie theater. It was more like a bike type thing, and I kept being like "ope, scuse me, ope, watch out" - somehow Hillary Clinton was there? She asked me what I do I said podcast and she talked about how she'd done a lot of podcasts, OH OK HILL', I was like, lets move on, anyway, I went outside, and my car was covered in snow, ON THE INSIDE! Crazy isn't it? Also saw a bus nearly tip over.  Anyway, back to the show, it's good! ENJOY!

Wow what a show we have here. You're going to love it, I can tell. No, I'm not a hypnotist, I'm a hypnotic specialist! The hypnotists, hypnotist. Yes, that's right. Don't believe me? You will, in, 3, 2, 1 ... 

Okay, if I said to you ... "How do you spell the letter H?" .. what would you answer with? Hhonestly, hi dhon't heven know. I was trying to show you how crazy the letter H is. I'm doing a bit. I'm flexing language. That's what I do!  I also write podcast 'show notes'. lmao Who reads these things? No one. I know. I've never read one in my life. I know you see it, underneath the episode title ... but you're not going back and looking to see what's there, are you? You can't be, you're listening to a podcast, why would you want to read? You've made up your mind, you're going aural for the time being. Maybe later, you'll do some reading -- but I imagine that last fucking thing you'd be reading ... are the show notes from a podcast that has many thousands of loyal listeners.  Anyway, good ep. The editor said he thought it was the funniest yet. It's kind of a "oh thanks" situation. Like, okay? Thank you man. He knows it better than anyone but also like ... we're all trying our best here. idk. 

Enjoy the show. 

Wake up! It's time for the podcast! Yes, the podcast! The one you've been listening to and the one you're always telling your friends about. IT's a new episode, it packs all the punches, it let's you take a moment to contemplate, it then returns and slides you into home base like a baseball player stealing home. Imagine stealing a whole home, if you weren't a baseball player. Some sort of masked crusader, that isn't a baseball player, "stealing home" lol, it would be insane. Your whole house would be gone. Where would you put it? 

Well, well, we meet again. You, the reader, me, the writer of the show notes. The standoff begins. This is when we face off. Just you, the reader, me, the writer of the show notes. Once again, we're here, your eyes slowly moving, locked in on my writing, my words, my whole being (which I put into these descriptions). I know I leaked a few episodes ago in the show notes that I confused America's Last Newsroom episode description with another podcast description I was writing. I just wanted to say that I will never let that happen again.  But here we are. You and me. The writer, the reader. You're still reading my words, pisses you off a bit doesn't it? You can't stop reading what I'm writing, and it's agitating you a bit. It's fine, I get it. I've been there. Seems like you like reading. That's good. They say it helps build your vocabulary. I think that is Tremendous and also significant. I do more writing than I do reading. But wait ... 

When I go to download the episode, on my way to upload it to the 'machine', I'm told by Google, that the file is too large, for Google, to scan for viruses - but I do it anyway. It's been ages since I've had a virus. Viruses are virulent, don't get me wrong, but I just don't know if computer viruses are a thing anymore. Sure, phishing, smishing (SMS phishing), Pig butchering, Carding, Catfishing, Click fraud, Clickjacking, Cramming, Cryptocurrency scams, Cybercrime, and CyberThrills are everywhere ... and those are the ones that mainly start with the letter C, but it's been a long time since I've seen a computer virus. Computer virus starts with a C too lol. I really hope I don't get a virus now that I'm talking about not being "in tune" with the computer virus news of late. You, the reader, probably don't even know who I, the author, am, and I intend to keep it that way, you.  Anyway, one hell of an episode here. Dinosaur bones are yours to have, the Orkneys are doling out bananas, Kit Kats are missing, Mark is running for office again, and sharks are on all sorts of drugs, including caffeine. Terrible, I know.  Fascinating stuff happening around the world, and we are here to report on it, for you, the listener. 

(Me on the phone) ... "Yep, sounds good, okay, sounds good, alright bye!"  Hey there listener, sorry, I was on the phone. Important call! Anyway, new ep right here. We hit all the topics you, the listener, love. Family trees, stumps, airbnbs, arrests, warrants, flashing lights, ticking clocks, the sounds of train horns blasting through your window at night as you sleep. Wait, sorry, the train horn sounds were for another podcast! Train Horn Monthly. You know it? You listen to it? Not to toot my own horn, but I also do the descriptions for Train Horn Monthly, the Podcast. Also, it's a weekly podcast. I'm always like, what the heck you guys, your podcast is called Train Horn Monthly but it's coming out every week? Talk about misleading! A train horn is a sonic beacon, it CANNOT mislead. If the train horn were to mislead, we'd be in deep doo-doo every single day. A single pull of the string that's attached to some pneumatic canister of air, sent through a horn, and out of a horned bell, and into your ears, that's how the train horn works. Nothing misleading about that. Well, this podcast episode is similar to that, except it's less about train horns and more about hard hitting global news. Enjoy!

There is an old saying about podcasts. I can't remember what it is, but I'm sure you already know it! Your grandpa probably said it to you at least once a month. If I think of it, I will tell you. If I can't well, then we're both sh...it out of luck. What the hell's that one mean? That's a pretty old saying. Damn! Even "there's an old saying" is pretty much an old saying by now. When did it hit the "old saying" quotient? Like when did the "there's an old saying" become an old saying? What's older? The shit out of luck one or there's an old saying? I'm completely unsure if anyone reads these. The show is good, what more do you need to know? I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just curious. I guess I never read these, but it depends on the podcast. Some podcasts, if it's like serious stuff, I think I'll read the 'show notes', but otherwise, I probably don't. I always see the text, but I'm never reading it I guess. Anyway, there's an old saying about podcasts. I'm sure your grandpa has said it before ...

Hello listeners! We are back from the deepest caves and caverns, and we think we will be OK, we think.

This week's episodes hits some of our favorites in terms of "news" - stuff like telephones, Barbie dolls, Guinness Book of World Records, oryx's and antelopes, and the great state of Tennessee. We cover, roosters, dieting, murder and more!

 

Please enjoy this here episode, we know you will like it!

Dear listeners, We are currently on the first annual Come Spelunk With Us trip deep inside the deepest caverns, caves, and dwellings the United States of America has to offer. We are worried Jon has left us. We will talk again next week.

It's time for some news. It's News O'Clock and the hosts of America's Last Newsroom have it RIGHT here. We encourage you to listen with your best pair of earbuds, or in your most suitable automobile, and dig in. I say this with MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE. This week we learn about pigs, we an elected official who is a Dingus, Waffle House pugilists, frying pan wakeup calls, and we learn a lesson from a piece of the Reese family. May Dick Van Dyke Live Forever - MDVDLF

The news hits, we cover it. It's hitting all the time. We cover it.  Lots of news to catch up with on this episode. Yep that's right, we're back at the Olympics Desk, the Winter Olympics Desk to be exact. Plenty of news, very little booze, available at these Olympics, but fear not, there are other things happening at the Olympics that we'll cover, if you just listen to the podcast. I don't feel like I need to explain the full episode. Take your own notes? I donno.  Ok, love you, bye bye!

And just like that, we finished another week, and of course, with that - comes a lot of news. With news, comes our highly unique perspective. Our perspective ... well, it's highly unique. That's our news guarantee.  Anyway, the stories we did this week range from The Beatles causing absolute panic, the graciousness of Thai people, armed Olympians and Little Caesars pizza! More to come, next week ...

Yellope! News here. Got some news for ya. Lot's going on.

Sid Vicious the bassist, well known bassist, he died in 1979, but he died the week of ... the week this comes out, but in 79'. Same week, but in 1979, not now, he's been dead for a while! Anyway, we get to a lot of other stuff like the UK Navy not being able to drink as much as they have been able to drink since time immemorial, a vacuum'er, emphasis on the cuum, allegedly ... gay sheep, a World War I bomb up a guy's chute, and what is Punxsutawney Phil exactly? A groundhog, I know that ... but like, what's going on here?  Join us. 

Hello listener. This is the hosts of America's Last Newsroom. We are each typing out one letter each at a time to write this episode description. It's taking a long time, but we are doing this because we care about you, the listener.  This week is jam packed with news from all over the globe. We start with deciphering history and the words of Bill Clinton. He claims one thing, says another, it's a whole mess. We then find out about some brothers who love each other, a beach filled with onions and Frenched fries, a doctor to be that is a bad test taker, and a lost cat who didn't seem to be lost at all. Dick Van Dyke is still alive, and the Belgian authorities want to put a 12 year old driver in front of judges.  It's almost the perfect amount of news, all for ... you. 

Welcome back dear listener. It's time to get down to the business of news. Yep, that's right, news is our business and we are the certified vendor of hard hitting news for you.

This week is one hell of a recap on this past week's events, and we even get to learn about Marilyn Monroe and Joltin' Joe DiMaggio!  We go near and far. From the private but substantial ponds of Louisiana, to the supermarkets of Germany. We even go to Target, the store. Hey did someone steal a baculum from a South Jersey cheesesteak shop? Let us know! Orlando Bloom is also featured prominently in this episode. He used to date Katy Perry. 

bye bye

Hey everyone, we're cordially inviting you to join us on an official America's Last Newsroom spelunking trip, where you, the listener, can join us in some of America's deepest and darkest caves. What will we find there? Unsure, but we want you to come with us, and you can drive us because that will be easier for us. All expenses paid, by you! Stay tuned for more information. The news just didn't stop this week, here are some of our stories: Archie Bunker was a guy named Carol, man stuck in cave for 17 days, tiny Victorian shoes are washing up to shore in Wales, Pineapple cutting records are being broken, castration has medical advantages, Dick Van Dyke's horoscope, and the HOT BLOB.  See you next week! 

RIP Sonny Bono, you are still missed. Didn't know about the whole steel conkers thing. Condoms are being taxed, your butt is being surveilled, the poop industry's books are all f'd up, pizza in Germany is laced, steel conkers.

 

xo

Well gang, we're back. Yep, that's right, we're back. We are so back! The Blue Men Group aka Global Examiner is now AMERICA'S LAST NEWSROOM.  It's as though we have never left and we are picking right back up where we left off. In fact, here's where we go in this episode. Follow along, with your ears. 

This Week in History: Glenn Miller disappears over the English Channel. Still missing.

Royal Caribbean served a guy 33 drinks, he died in custody, they put him in the fridge. Lawsuit incoming.

New Zealand cops waited six days for a swallowed $19K Fabergé pendant to make its exit. Patience is a virtue.

A different Fabergé egg sold for $30 million. Turns out the Romanovs had taste.

Thailand finally lets you buy beer at 3pm. Government workers rejoice.

Thai woman found alive in her coffin right before cremation. Her brother: "eh."

Hero of the Week: Man trips over his cat, breaks basically everything, lies in blood for 14 hours. Still loves the cat.

Dick Van Dyke turned 100. His horoscope says slow down. He will not.

The Olympics are finished, and now the stories come out. With coverage that is almost live, Global Examiner is, perhaps up there at the top, or at least near the top, or somewhere within a reasonable distance of the top of the podcasting news world. In fact, many of our stories were stolen, at the Olympics. I bet you didn't hear about that! 

Please join us for our aspiring award winning news coverage.

Global Examiner, on behalf of Peter Turquoise CEO

Loyal listeners, we've been tasked to record another episode of Global Examiner. Join us as your hosts travel the world of news, globally! 

Welcome to Global Examiner.

Blue Men Group podcast, and all of her assets have been bought by Peter Turquoise.

We are proud to announce the inaugural episode of Global Examiner, a closer look into the most pressing issues of the day, around the globe. 

We are thankful to our sponsor: Storylines luxury cruises for their generous contribution to the news.

Keep your eyes and ears open for changes to this podcast channel.

Hi friends, we sold our show. Our extremely strong numbers in Slovakia, and business advice from an Argentine listener led us down a path to complete independence from sponsors and bosses. Please join us on a Blue Men Group adventure around the globe. Join us next week for the debut episode of _______________!

Topics on this week's show include:

1. Live From The Garbage Dump

2. This Week In History

3. Drunk Soldier Poops Pants

4. Virile Viscount

5. DeBeers™ Says Millenial Won't Like Lab Grown Diamonds

6. Solidarity With Sino-Sissies OF THE WEEK

7. The Final Week's Numbers

Ahoy, hoy! Did you know that's how Alexander Graham Bell wanted us to answer phones? To say, AHOY-HOY! LOL, that would never work. Anyway, here's the topics that are discussed on this episode:

1. Boston Tea Party - party or protest?

2. Cheating scandal in the Camel Beauty Contest

3. The Next James Bond will be a British Man

4. AI generated poetry is terrifying

5. MAD THAI TV

6. Real Quick Yogurt Stop of the Week

7. Our Podcast is For Sale

8. Last Week's Numbers

Hello dear listeners. What a time of year for news. It's almost unstoppable at the rate it's coming out. Almost daily, the Blue Men Group gathers to assess the news, and these are the stories that we have found fit for your ears. Please listen to these topics, which include:

1. The Royal Family's Fairytale Wedding

2. IKEA Sleepover

3. New Dog Sized Dinosaur Just Dropped

4. Trampoline Park Brawl

5. Heroic Sex Act of the Week

6. Last Week's Numbers

Well HELLO there listener, welcome to another episode! We're here, and we're delivering you the news. Just as you like to hear it, through your ears. Some of the topics we've discussed here this week include: 

1. Enron, is it an energy company?

2. Wright Lovers Update

3. Emotional Support Cat

4. Robots Can Reproduce

5. Brown Friday

6. Our One Argentinian Listener Call In

Hello! It's all of the hosts of Blue Men Group typing one letter each to let you know what is on this week's podcast. Well, here is the list of things we discuss:

1. Parachutist Dan Cooper

2. Lady Eats an AirPod

3. There's a NEW Celine Dion in town

4. Report from World Table Tennis Championship

5. IMPORTANT LEGAL UPDATE

6. Emergency Airlift of the Week

7. Last Week's Numbers

Hello! This week's Blue Men Group is guaranteed to be exciting for your ears. We pride ourselves on delivering to you, the listener, the greatest listening experience - and that's just what we have here! Topics on this week's episode include:

1.  Elizabethan Things
2.  Swiss Sharpshooter
3. Millionaire Dog 
4. Swearing Parrots
5. The Abby Report: Generation A - Back To The Beginning
6. Naked Guy at Airport Security
7. Last Week's Numbers

Listeners! Welcome to toilet week, where we discover all sorts of news items regarding toilets! Some of the shitty news stories we explore this week include:

1. Two Guys Meet in Africa
2. Marathoners Shit Themselves Often
3. Sometimes They Make It To The Porta Potty
4. SpaceX Doesn't Even Have A Functioning Toilet On Their Spaceships
5. Do You Know What A Cenotaph Is?
6. Vegan Toilet Sex Cult
7. Parked Car Of The Week
8. Last Week's Numbers

Helllo, listener! It's the Blue Men Group Midnight Sleepover Special! Celebrating one full year of episodes, with fireworks, and more!

Join us as we cover a few new stories then as we regale each other in memories of Blue Men Group's past.

We love you very much and thank you for listening! 

Hi listener. Today's episode is explosive. Here's the rundown:

1. John Glenn: did he forget something?

2. Ciggy Sales Have Increased A LOT

3. Six Flags Meal Pass

4. Yuengling Lady

5. Abby's Visit To The Metaverse

6. Cocaine Hippos

7. Numbers

Hello loyal listener. Jon returned, we don't know where he went, but he's back. These are some of the things we chatted about on this here episode:

1. Thomas Alva Fucking Edison

2. Anthrax

3. Maine's Fucking License Plate Problem

4. Boosting Seamen Morale

5. The Drawing That Shook Hawaii

6. Prank or Murder of The Week

7. Last Week's Numbers

Hey listeners, we've got some news for you. The news topics we cover are found below:

Old Timey Baseball

Lost At Sea for 29 Days

Rotating House in Bosnia

Rwandan Milk Bars

Hacked Flight Systems

Last Week's Numbers

Hello listeners! Sorry that the original file was incorrectly uploaded, we have fired the individual who committed this grave error.

Please forgive.

 

This is a Blue Men Group Special News Update from Ron Ecstasy.

Hello listeners, we are happy to inform you that the host shortage has been resolved. Please welcome Abby Fiscus to the show. Topics in today's show include:

• Abby Get's An Official Welcome
• Gerald Ford, unelected and from Michigan
• Sex was invented in Scotland
• Herpes fish in Lake Orion
• USB In Penis
• Russian Popeye MMA Guy's Arms
• Upworthy! 
• Last Week's Numbers

Today's episode of Blue Men Group is brought to you by Price Waterhouse Cooper. Topics on today's show include:

• Our Host Search Continues (Brought To You By Price Waterhouse Cooper)
• Toy Hall of Fame New Inductees
• No More Drug Tests
• Time To Bring Back The Wooly Mammoth
• Disney iPad Tours
• Massachusetts National Guard School Bus
• Last Week's Numbers

Well hello there listeners! On today's show, Ron and Devon discuss:

1. Mao and Elvis

2. Pope Sweets

3. Pope Gelati

4. China's War God Statue

5. Our New Artery

6. Legal Victory of the Week

7. Last Week's Numbers 

Here is a SPECIAL NEWS UPDATE from Ron Ecstasy of the Blue Men Group.