In "Am I Doing It Wrong?” Doctor Becc & Kristeen Barker have the vulnerable conversations all doctors need to remind us "You're not crazy, life as a doctor is". You'll feel seen & connected again & you'll also get actionable strategies to be able to show up as your favourite version of you as a doctor regardless of the daily challenges.
Dr Kristeen Barker, nephrologist at Alfred Health, runs online medical education courses for physicians & trainees.
Doctor Becc (Dr Rebecca Nothrop) is coach & host of Dare, Darling—a transformative group coaching program for doctors who are people-pleasers.
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92: Why Is It So Hard to Be Yourself as a Doctor? It’s Time to Stop Hiding.
Season 1 · Episode 92
Wednesday, January 7, 2026 • Duration 36:19
Hello Doctor Humans 💛
This is Part 2 of last week’s conversation — but this episode isn’t really about picking a word for the year.
It’s about something deeper.
Why is it so hard to be yourself as a doctor?
Why does visibility feel uncomfortable?
And when did humility quietly turn into hiding?
In this episode, we unpack how clinician conditioning shapes the way we see ourselves — and how even the most caring, capable doctors can end up turning their volume down without realising it.
Using our 2026 words as a lens, we explore why real growth doesn’t feel neat or motivating — it feels uncomfortable, exposing, and sometimes downright scary. And why that discomfort is often the clearest sign you’re moving in the right direction.
In this episode, we explore:
Why being “fully yourself” can feel unsafe in medicine
How humility can quietly become a way of shrinking
Why goals often trigger resistance before results
What it really means to stop judging yourself (and others)
Why visibility and self-recognition are deeply uncomfortable — and deeply necessary
How choosing a word can act as a compass back to who you actually are
If last week helped you choose a word, this week is about understanding why that word might feel hard to say out loud — and why that’s the point.
If you’ve already chosen a word for 2026, we’d love to hear it. And if you haven’t, let this be your permission to slow down, reflect, and choose a word that doesn’t just sound nice — but asks you to show up more fully in your own life.
💜 Work with Dr Becc
Inside Dare, Darling Coaching, Becc helps doctors become UNSHAKEABLE.
💌 Want FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE? 💌 Just drop your email here: https://2ly.link/27dxJ
📚 Study with Kristeen
If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here. Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago.
91: One Word That Can Change Your Entire Year (Doctors, This Is Powerful)
Season 1 · Episode 91
Wednesday, December 31, 2025 • Duration 25:24
Hello Doctor Humans,
Welcome to 2026 with us, Kristeen Barker and Doctor Becc!
Today we’re sharing a simple but powerful tradition that completely shifted our 2025: choosing one word to anchor the year. Not goals, not resolutions — an identity. A compass we carry into every consult, every boundary, every decision. This episode is for every doctor who wants to thrive without burning out, invest in what truly matters, and step into the next version of themselves with intention and courage.
In this episode, we explore:
One “Word for the Year” works as a compass and filter for decisions and boundaries
Our 2025 words (like intentionality, impact, discernment, double down) shaped our identity, behavior, and clinic energy
The word should represent a stretch or transformation, not safety or convenience
Accountability hack: share your word publicly so your community holds you to it
Use your word on a vision board or environment reminders for effortless reinforcement
Reflect first: Ask yourself what aligned, what didn’t, what keeps knocking on your mind
If we’re honest, 2025 was incredible because we were intentional — and 2026 will be even bigger, braver, and more aligned.
We’d love to hear your reflections — What word are you choosing for 2026? Drop it in the comments, tag us, or share a story where truth-telling or intentional decisions changed your clinic or life.
Inside Dare, Darling Coaching, Becc helps doctors become UNSHAKEABLE.
💌 Want FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE? 💌 Just drop your email here: https://2ly.link/27dxJ
📚 Study with Kristeen
If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here. Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago.
Today, we’re diving into a topic every single one of us deals with: procrastination.
We’re breaking down why we avoid the simplest tasks, why it has nothing to do with the task itself, and how procrastination is really just emotional discomfort in disguise. We walk through the 3 step process we use ourselves to move through procrastination with compassion, curiosity, and way less drama. If you’ve ever wondered, — this episode is going to make you feel incredibly seen and get you back on track
89: Doctors, Rock the Boat — It Won’t Sink (and Neither Will You)
Season 1 · Episode 89
Tuesday, December 2, 2025 • Duration 19:56
Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
💜 In the Dare, Darling Group Coaching Membership, Doctor Becc makes doctors who feel never enough UNSHAKEABLE💜 Want to apply for a NO-COST CONSULT with Becc to learn how Dare, Darling can make you unshakaeble? Book here: https://2ly.link/27dxL
Hello, Doctor Humans!
Today, we’re unpacking the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways the medical system teaches us to stay quiet, overwork, and accept “normal” as “okay.” This one’s all about reclaiming your worth, speaking up respectfully, and understanding that gratitude for your job doesn’t mean surrendering your basic rights. If you’ve ever been afraid to “rock the boat,” this is the reminder you didn’t know you needed.
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
Just because something is normal in medicine doesn’t mean it’s acceptable.
Gratitude for your role should never equal giving up your boundaries or rights.
You’re far more valuable to your workplace than you think — hospitals depend on you showing up and thriving.
Self-advocacy isn’t arrogance — it’s a reflection of self-respect and professional maturity.
Recognize the difference between “rocking the boat” and simply standing up for what’s reasonable.
Mindset + understanding your rights = empowerment that changes how you show up.
When you value yourself, you teach others how to treat you — including your peers, seniors, and the system itself.
88: Doctors, You’re More Capable Than You Think — Here’s the Proof
Season 1 · Episode 88
Tuesday, November 18, 2025 • Duration 24:55
Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
💜 In the Dare, Darling Group Coaching Membership, Doctor Becc makes doctors who feel never enough UNSHAKEABLE💜 Want to apply for a NO-COST CONSULT with Becc to learn how Dare, Darling can make you unshakaeble? Book here: https://2ly.link/27dxL
Hello, doctor humans!
Today’s episode is one of those raw, real, “we almost didn’t record this” moments.
We’re talking about the times you think, “I can’t do this.” But here’s the truth — every single time you thought you couldn’t… you did. Today, we’re inviting you to pause, take stock, and remember the times you’ve proven yourself wrong. Because sometimes, our greatest growth comes from those messy, imperfect moments when we just show up anyway.
Those “I can’t do this” moments are often the doorway to discovering how much capacity you really have.
You’ve already done hard things — and you’ll do them again, often more beautifully than you think possible.
Life rarely gives us perfect conditions. You can still create something meaningful even when you’re tired, sick, or overwhelmed.
Knowing when to rest and when to push through is part of emotional mastery — both are essential skills.
Asking for help isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom. Sometimes the reason we can do the impossible is because we’re not doing it alone.
87: Doctors, Why Can’t You Leave Work On Time?
Season 1 · Episode 87
Tuesday, November 4, 2025 • Duration 45:06
Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
💜 In the Dare, Darling Group Coaching Membership, Doctor Becc makes doctors who feel never enough UNSHAKEABLE💜 Want to apply for a NO-COST CONSULT with Becc to learn how Dare, Darling can make you unshakaeble? Book here: https://2ly.link/27dxL
Hello doctor humans!
Today, we’re diving into a topic that hits every doctor’s nerve: why we don’t leave work on time.
If you’ve ever found yourself staying late to finish that “one last thing,” or if you’ve felt guilty walking out on time while others keep working — this episode is for you. We’re unpacking the seven hidden reasons we stay past our shifts, from the sneaky “hero complex” to cultural expectations and even our perfectionist brains chasing that sweet, sweet dopamine hit of a cleared to-do list. We promise — this one’s going to stir up some feelings, but also offer a whole lot of clarity and compassion.
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
The Hero Complex – That internal belief that “if I don’t do it, everything will fall apart” — and how this noble intention can quietly burn us out.
Being Overly Available – How being too approachable and visible keeps you stuck doing extra work that isn’t yours.
86: Doctors, can you handle your team’s emotional emergencies?
Season 1 · Episode 86
Wednesday, October 22, 2025 • Duration 35:59
Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
💜 In the Dare, Darling Group Coaching Membership, Doctor Becc makes doctors who feel never enough UNSHAKEABLE💜 Want to apply for a NO-COST CONSULT with Becc to learn how Dare, Darling can make you unshakaeble? Book here: https://2ly.link/27dxL
Today’s episode is especially close to our hearts because we’re diving into what it really means to show up as a positive leader in medicine. Whether you’re managing a whole team, supporting a stressed-out colleague on night shift, or holding space for a loved one who’s struggling, this conversation is about navigating emotional emergencies with compassion, calm, and true leadership.
If you’ve ever wondered how to balance empathy with effectiveness—or how to hold space without trying to “fix” everything—this episode is for you.
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
Why doctors step into leadership without formal training—and why that matters.
How to handle emotional “emergencies” from colleagues (or even loved ones) without rushing to fix them.
The hidden cost of trying to make distress “go away” (and how it can backfire).
The power of validating, normalising, and simply holding space for emotions at work.
Three real-life scenarios to practice your own responses as a leader and support person.
Why your own emotional self-work is essential to leading with empathy and impact.
85: Doctors, What If the Easier Path Is Enough?
Season 1 · Episode 85
Tuesday, October 7, 2025 • Duration 33:57
Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://2ly.link/27faR
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://2ly.link/27faO
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faP
💌 Want FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE? 💌 Just drop your email here: https://2ly.link/27UJX
💜 In the Dare, Darling Group Coaching Membership, Doctor Becc makes doctors who feel never enough UNSHAKEABLE 💜 Want to apply for a NO-COST CONSULT with Becc to learn how Dare, Darling can make you unshakaeble? Book here: https://2ly.link/27UJ6
Hello, doctor humans!
In this episode we’re unpacking a familiar but sneaky story many doctors carry: the belief that “if it isn’t hard, it isn’t worthy.” From choosing a specialty, to surviving exams, to finally finishing training and wondering why we can’t just relax. We talk about where that drive comes from, how it shapes our choices, and how to intentionally choose ease (without shame) so we can build a fuller life beyond constant struggle. If you’ve ever felt like you must earn your worth through effort, this one’s for you.
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
The “no pain, no gain” narrative is common in medicine and leads us to equate worthiness with hardship.
Many doctors choose harder paths (or avoid ease) because of an underlying sense of “not enough.”
Finishing training often leaves a weird limbo — we expect relief but can feel guilty for wanting ease.
Practical examples: specialty-choice paralysis, doing medical reading on holiday, and abandoning hobbies during exams.
How to spot the drivers behind decisions: look at the thoughts, beliefs, and emotions that push you toward hard or easy choices.
84: This is the ’sweet spot’ that makes doctors thrive in clinic
Season 1 · Episode 84
Tuesday, September 23, 2025 • Duration 29:04
Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://2ly.link/27faR
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://2ly.link/27faO
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faP
💌 Want FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE? 💌 Just drop your email here: https://2ly.link/27UJX
💜 In the Dare, Darling Group Coaching Membership, Doctor Becc makes doctors who feel never enough UNSHAKEABLE 💜 Want to apply for a NO-COST CONSULT with Becc to learn how Dare, Darling can make you unshakaeble? Book here: https://2ly.link/27UJ6
Hello, doctor humans!
In this week’s episode, we’re diving into something that feels like a game-changer for both of us in clinic and beyond—finding what we’re calling “The Sweet Spot.” It’s that place where we’re not in survival mode, not overextending ourselves trying to be the “perfect” doctor, but instead showing up authentically, with enoughness at the core. We can’t wait to share it with you because we know so many of you will resonate with the tug-of-war between “not enough” and “trying too hard.”
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
Kristeen’s breakthrough in clinic: discovering “The Sweet Spot” between survival and over-performance.
Why both extremes—barely coping and overextending—leave us drained.
How subconscious narratives of “not being enough” sneak into our work and self-image.
The idea of the —why the “I’m not enough” story can never be proven wrong if we keep feeding it.
83: Doctors, your little white lies are hurting you more than you think.
Season 1 · Episode 83
Tuesday, September 9, 2025 • Duration 34:31
Hang out with Kristeen & Becc on more social media! 🌎
📽 Kristeen's Youtube: https://2ly.link/27faR
👋 Kristeen's Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faF
📽 Becc's Youtube: https://2ly.link/27faO
👋 Becc's Instagram: https://2ly.link/27faP
💌 Want FREE 1-line mindset upgrades every M/W/F to make you more UNSHAKEABLE? 💌 Just drop your email here: https://2ly.link/27UJX
💜 In the Dare, Darling Group Coaching Membership, Doctor Becc makes doctors who feel never enough UNSHAKEABLE 💜 Want to apply for a NO-COST CONSULT with Becc to learn how Dare, Darling can make you unshakaeble? Book here: https://2ly.link/27UJ6
Hello, doctor humans!
In today’s episode, we’re diving into a topic we know so many of us can relate to: that tempting urge to pretend. Whether it’s in front of patients, colleagues, or even friends, there are those moments where we feel pressure to act like we know more, feel less, or have it all together.
Today, we’re unpacking what’s really happening underneath that urge (often shame, fear, or people-pleasing) and exploring how telling the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable, can free us and deepen our relationships.
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
Why the instinct to “pretend” shows up in professional and personal spaces.
How people-pleasing and small “white lies” can erode trust over time.
If you’re preparing for physician exams — or just want to truly understand immunology & renal medicine — start here. Kristeen’s FREE 7-Day GN Kick-Start Challenge gives you the clarity you wish someone handed you years ago.
💜 Work with Dr Becc📚 Study with Kristeen🔗 Connect with us & go deeperHang out with Kristeen & Becc on socials 🌎
“Why am I avoiding something so easy?”
In this episode, we explore:
Why procrastination is rarely about the task itself
Emotional avoidance as the hidden driver
Step 1 — Identify the emotion you’re avoiding
Step 2 — Commit to feeling it (timers help!)
Step 3 — Gather real-life evidence that you survived it
The surprising difference between overwhelm vs boredom
How to build confidence by celebrating the smallest wins
A gentle reframing of productivity as emotion regulation, not discipline
What’s one tiny task you’ve been procrastinating on, and which step are you starting with today? Tell us in the comments!
We’d love to hear from you — what’s one situation where you realized your value as a doctor?
Or maybe where you forgot it for a while?
Real leadership (and real humanity) isn’t about perfection — it’s about presence, imperfection, and compassion for yourself.
If this conversation resonated with you, we’d love to hear from you. Share your own “I thought I couldn’t do it — but I did” story in the comments or send us a message.
Your story might just remind another doctor-human that they can too. 💙
In this episode, we’ll dive into:
Toxic Culture & Expectations – Why hospital culture normalizes staying late — and how to start challenging it (with empathy and courage).
Short Staffing ≠ Your Responsibility – Learning to set limits, advocate for yourself, and stop carrying an entire team’s workload on your back.
The To-Do List Trap – The myth of “finishing everything” and how chasing that relief keeps you stuck in an unhealthy cycle.
Self-Worth & Avoidance – Exploring how staying late can sometimes be about avoiding our own lives outside of work.
Redefining What Makes a ‘Good Doctor’ – Choosing alignment over exhaustion and giving yourself permission to go home.
If this episode hits close to home — if you’ve found yourself torn between being a “good doctor” and taking care of yourself — we’d love to hear from you.
Share your thoughts with us in the comments or DM us on Instagram. Tell us: What’s the hardest part about leaving work on time for you?
We’d love to hear from you—what’s been your biggest leadership challenge when supporting someone in distress? Did your medical training give you the tools to deal with it?
Drop us a comment or DM us on Instagram. Your stories help shape this community, and we can’t wait to continue the conversation with you. 💌
Hello, doctor humans!
The cost of always choosing hard: missed presence, relationships, creativity, and micro-moments we can’t get back.
Small experiments to test a new way of living: try bringing work to the beach and being present, or deliberately choosing the easier route and noticing the outcome.
Reframing: acknowledging we are already enough and that ease, joy, and presence are valid, valuable ways to live.
We’d love to hear from you — do you feel confident enough to choose the easier path? Or does the idea of not having your foot heavy on the accelerator terrify you?
Share this episode with a colleague who needs permission to take their heavy foot off the accelerator — let’s normalise choosing ease together.
infinite hypothesis
What changes when we stop performing and simply show up as our authentic selves.
How feedback from patients and colleagues can affirm that who we are is already enough.
Why aging, life experience, and self-awareness can open the door to releasing old narratives.
We’d love to hear from you—do you know this feeling of neutrality or is it a new concept for you? Have you found your own “sweet spot” in medicine or life?
Experiment in your clinic and report back. We can’t wait to keep this conversation going with you.
A vulnerable story about missing commitments and the pull to hide versus choosing honesty.
The powerful role of shame in driving us to cover up—and how truth is the antidote.
Why patients, colleagues, and loved ones can handle the truth—and why it honors them when we share it.
How practicing authenticity sets healthier expectations in both personal and professional relationships.
What situations have tempted you to pretend, and how did you handle it? Drop us a comment, send us a message, or share this episode with someone who might need the reminder that honesty really is the more powerful path.
Will you challenge yourself to come on a truth-telling journey with us? Even for the ‘little’ white lies? Tell us in the comments if you’re in!
