Explore every episode of the podcast Alonement
| Title | Pub. Date | Duration | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Creating Community When You Live Alone, with Marianne Power | 29 Jul 2025 | 00:42:20 | |
This week I’m chatting to journalist & bestselling author, Marianne Power. Marianne’s first book, Help Me, where she takes a deep dive into the world of self-help, was published in 25 languages and became a global bestseller. Now, she’s back with her long-awaited follow-up, Love Me: One Woman’s Search for A Different Happy Ever After. In this book, Marianne explores the potential for a life less ordinary. Living alone in east London, and single in her mid-forties, Marianne asks the question of what makes a happy life – and crucially, is it possible without a traditional romantic partner? After listening to this episode, I’ll leave you to answer that question for yourself. Marianne shares so much wisdom with me about how to build a chosen family through local community, leaning in to introversion, and what it means to be single at heart. If you’d like to hear more from Marianne Power, you can follow her on Substack at helpmenewsletter.substack.com, and of course her books, Help Me! and Love Me! are available to buy at all good book stores. Follow me on Instagram, @chezspecter and subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com Referenced in this episode: 'What Do We Do Now We're Here' - A Substack by Rosie Spinks Bella DePaulo's Single at Heart Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Solo Travel and How to Master the Art of Packing for One, with Lizzie Frainier | 21 Jul 2025 | 01:04:57 | |
My guest this week Lizzie Frainier, author of Main Character: Lessons from a Real Life Rom-Com and associate travel editor at The Times. In this episode, she shares what she’s learnt from over a decade of solo travel, which began with a transatlantic home swap inspired by the film The Holiday and continued with a romantic trip for one in Venice, an ill-fated motorcycling trip in Vietnam and an Eat Pray Love style pilgrimage to Bali. We also talk about Lizzie’s infatuation with rom-coms, and how the lessons she learnt from the likes of Notting Hill and Bridget Jones inspired her to write her memoir. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the episode – do leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, if you haven’t already. You can finding Lizzie on Instagram – her handle is just her full name, Lizzie Frainier, which is very chic. I’m on Instagram too @ChezSpecter, and you can follow my writing on Substack at francescaspecter.substack.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Carving Out Space and Time for Yourself, with Penny Wincer | 08 Jul 2025 | 00:32:51 | |
Penny Wincer is the author of Home Matters: How Our Homes Shape Us and We Shape Them, her second non-fiction book, and host of the podcast, Not Too Busy to Write, where she interviews writers on their relationship with their craft and how they make time for it. In the years I’ve been writing this podcast, I’ve learnt alonement is just about practical considerations as it is about the emotional ones. Penny’s work is a testament to that philosophy. Her work is centred around creating the time and space for alone time, even in the most challenging of circumstances - a challenge she herself navigates every day as the mother of a disabled child. Penny is a one-of-a-kind thinker and a brilliant interviewee, and I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed recording. You can follow Penny on Instagram at @pennywincer and on Substack. Her latest book, Home Matters, is available to buy now. Meanwhile, I’m on Substack at francescaspecter.substack.com and Instagram @ChezSpecter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Strengthen Your Solitude Skills, with Thuy-vy Nguyen | 30 Jun 2025 | 00:40:03 | |
This week's guest, Thuy-vy Nguyen, PhD, is one of the world’s leading researchers on solitude, and an associate professor at Durham University’s dedicated research lab, Solitude Lab. Her interest is in ‘ordinary, everyday life solitude’, the kind you’re more likely to find in the corner of a cafe than on a 10-day silent meditation retreat. It’s solitude in moderation – or what we on this podcast like to call alonement. This episode is an edifying exploration of the latest in solitude research, from how the experience of being alone affects our mental state to the pros and cons of labelling yourself an introvert/extrovert. We also talk about solitude skills, and how almost anyone can get better at it – no matter how much they hate it to begin with. You can find out more about Thuy-vy’s brilliant work on the Solitude Lab website. Meanwhile, stay in touch with me on Instagram @chezspecter and on Substack – francescaspecter.substack.com Referenced in the show: Solitude: Seeking Wisdom in Extremes - A Year Alone in the Patagonia Wilderness by Robert Kull Solitude: In Pursuit of a Singular Life in a Crowded World by Michael Harris Solitude Skills and the Private Self – Research paper authored by Virginia Thomas A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| How to Cook for One, with Eleanor Wilkinson | 23 Jun 2025 | 00:44:20 | |
Struggle to cook for one? We've got you - our guest Eleanor Wilkinson, recipe developer and author of One Pot, One Portion, has dedicated her career to overcoming some of the most common hurdles people face when cooking solo. Inspired by losing her father at a young age, Eleanor resolved to seize life's simple pleasures and make every moment count, including the meals she ate alone. Trained at Ballymaloe cookery school, she turned her skillset towards the oft-neglected territory of single portion meals. From her special take on lasagne for one to her innovative ways to use up a pack of tortillas when it's 'just you', this episode combines practical advice with a continuous love letter to the joy that is nurturing yourself, stomach and soul, in your alonement. Nigella Lawson's a fan, and you will be too after tuning into this episode. Why not leave a review to let us know what you thought? If you'd like to follow Eleanor's solo cooking adventures, her book One Pot, One Portion is out now, while she's on Instagram at @eleanorgwilkinson. She also regularly updates her website, eleanorgwilkinson.com, with new recipes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Cat Ladies of the World, Unite! With Comedian Katie Norris | 16 Jun 2025 | 00:46:18 | |
Welcome to season 10 of Alonement! Katie Norris, an award-winning comedian and confirmed cat-cherlorette (OK, I came up with that) is my guest on the first episode of this season. Katie adopted her 'lockdown baby', Atticus, at the start of the pandemic. He's been her companion as she's established herself as a stand-up comedian, and taken a prolonged dating hiatus. She shares how she's claiming the much-maligned 'childless cat lady' stereotype (with a middle finger up to JD Vance). Plus, the highs and lows of solo comedy (after years of being a double act) and maintaining self-esteem in the face of criticism. This is a conversation about following your heart, as Katie has done, towards a life that feels right for you – romantically, and creatively. Whether you’re a fellow pet owner, a single person, a comedy fan or simply someone curious about all of the above, there will be something here for you. Happy listening – and if you love this episode, do leave a glowing review! Now for some handles! You can find Katie on Instagram at @katienorris26 – while Francesca is on Instagram @chezspecter and writes a Substack newsletter, francescaspecter.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Maggie Smith: Financial Independence, Relearning Vulnerability & Dating After Divorce | 09 Jan 2024 | 00:42:03 | |
Maggie Smith is a poet & writer who found overnight fame when her poem, ‘Good Bones’, went viral on social media in 2016. Later on, her life was to take a further change when her husband of 19 years, and the father of her children, announced he wanted a divorce two years later. Her memoir, You Could Make This Place Beautiful, published in April 2023 – explores the connection between these two events, how become a hit writer led to the breakdown of her marriage – and what could be found in the disruption that followed it all. Throughout it all, Maggie’s love of creativity and solitude has been a constant – something she speaks to me about in this episode. We also talk about finding love in middle age, and the joy of a relationship that’s free from the pressure of milestones. Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device. Takeaways
Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Small Talk 03:33 Exploring the Meaning of Alone 04:27 Aloneness as a Positive and Restorative Experience 05:24 The Irony of Being an Introverted Writer 06:24 The Challenges of Being an Introverted Writer in the Public Eye 08:15 Navigating Life After Divorce 09:43 The Loneliness of Incompatible Partnership 10:41 Living Alone vs. Living Without a Partner 11:36 The Myth of Partnership Solving Loneliness 13:29 The Shift in Attitudes Towards Being Alone 14:52 The Impact of Age on Relationship Choices 16:13 The Pressure to Settle Down and Have Children 17:32 Financial Independence and Self-Sufficiency 18:45 The Liberation of Not Racing Through Relationship Milestones 19:58 The Freedom of Choosing a Relationship Without Merging Lives 21:20 Balancing Independence and Vulnerability 22:48 The Lack of Cultural Models for Non-Traditional Relationships 23:44 The Beauty of Constant Companionship 24:43 The Negative Side of Hyper-Independence 25:39 The Importance of Alone Time for Creativity 27:29 Learning to Accept Help and Support 28:54 Returning to a Special Place for Solitude 31:43 The Restorative Power of Writing Alone 33:09 The Impact of Professional Success on Relationships 35:31 The Evolution of Creativity After Having Children 39:21 The Joy of Having Unstructured Alone Time Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Alice Vincent: A Garden of One's Own | 02 Jan 2024 | 00:43:54 | |
There are certain rites of passage that take place after a major break-up. For some, it’s a hair-cut or a big solo trip, or a regrettable rebound with someone the polar opposite of your ex. My guest this week, Alice Vincent, departed from the cliches: for her, it was growing plants. In her partly autobiographical books, Rootbound and more recently Why Women Grow, Alice chronicles how she came to growing plants as a way to heal and regain a sense of control after a break-up in her late twenties. As her life has changed – Alice is now married with her first child – gardening has remained a constant for her. In this episode, we discuss how Alice has navigated the changes of the past seven years, how gardening has allowed her to maintain a version of independence throughout it, and why she never feels lonely while out in the garden. Later, Alice also shares her tips for beginning your gardening journey by yourself, whether it’s just growing herbs on a windowsill, using a balcony space or joining a community garden. Takeaways
00:00 Introduction 04:34 Transition to Writing 06:27 Exploring Alonement 07:43 Defining Alone 09:38 Aloneness in Different Life Stages 10:35 The Luxury of Alone Time 13:04 Navigating Alone Time 14:28 Themes in Rootbound and Why Women Grow 15:21 Finding Solace in Gardening 19:46 Creating Space for Oneself 20:46 Gardening as a Solitary Activity 24:41 The Meditative Nature of Gardening 27:03 Living with a Partner and Maintaining Independence 30:16 The Ambivalence of Sharing Space 34:32 Choosing Relationships on One's Own Terms 38:52 Creating Personal Space 43:37 Tips for Starting a Growing Journey 47:21 Taking Time Alone 50:07 Ultimate Alone Time Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Leslie Stephens: The Joy of Living Alone, Plus How To Design a Home for One | 26 Dec 2023 | 00:49:30 | |
Leslie Stephens is the writer behind Morning Person, a top 10 Substack newsletter that chronicles her life in Portland, Oregon. In August last year, shortly after her 30th birthday, Leslie announced to her readers that she was separating from her husband. Over the past 18 months, she’s chronicled her journey of living by herself for the first time, including her recent solo house purchase – which we chat about in this episode. She also shares her advice – as a former food and lifestyle editor – of establishing a home by yourself, and – crucially – for yourself, rather than designing around the absence of someone else. Whether or not you’re already familiar with Leslie’s work, this conversation is full of gems for any kind of solo living – I hope you get as much from it as I did. Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device. This season of Alonement was edited by Pineapple Audio Production. Chapters 00:00 Introduction 01:00 Learning to Make a Home for One 02:25 Designing a Home as a Solo Liver 05:22 The Challenges and Mistakes of Designing Alone 06:47 Designing with a Partner vs Designing Alone 10:59 The Lack of Resources for Solo Living 11:55 Creating Content for Solo Living 13:17 Making Changes in a Solo Living Space 14:44 The Importance of Solitude in Designing a Home 19:44 The Lack of Resources for Designing a First Home Alone 21:08 Building a New Relationship with a Parent 22:32 Navigating the Grey Areas of Life 25:16 Coping with Weekends and Sundays Alone 27:07 Finding Joy in Cooking for One 32:29 Creating Recipes and Experimenting with Cooking Alone 38:11 The Inspiration Behind the Novel 'You're Safe Here' 46:26 Maintaining Solitude in a Relationship 47:45 The Ultimate Alonement: Movement and Stillness 10:00 The Importance of Self-Awareness 20:00 The Role of External Validation 30:00 Navigating Comparison and Social Media 40:00 The Impact of Internal Dialogue 48:40 Conclusion Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Max Dickins: On Male Friendship & Overcoming Weekend Loneliness | 19 Dec 2023 | 00:42:17 | |
Getting engaged to your partner is typically a time for celebration. But for today’s guest Max Dickins, it was …. more complicated. As he prepared to propose to his girlfriend, Naomi, he had an uncomfortable revelation: he couldn’t think of anyone to ask to be his best man. This prompted a personal crisis for the writer and comedian – one which inspired him to address the dwindling friendship connections in his own life …… and to investigate the topic of male mental health and loneliness more. The result was his brilliant non-fiction book, Billy No Mates: How I Realised Men Have a Friendship Problem. This is a wide-ranging discussion, which actually opens with a chat about the romance of solitude – sometimes Max has always valued, but once used as an excuse for why he sometimes had no one to see at weekends. We also cover gendered attitudes towards both solitude and loneliness, which was really interesting and definitely opened my eyes. I hope you enjoy listening. Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device. Takeaways
Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 03:00 Gendered Perspectives on Solitude 06:00 Toxic Masculinity and Extreme Solitude 09:00 The Rationalisation of Solitude 10:00 Loneliness vs. Solitude 12:00 The Social Biome and Balance 15:00 The Friendship Problem for Men 20:00 Exploring Masculinity and Gender Conditioning 23:00 Gendered Behaviours and Barriers to Connection 29:00 Weekend Loneliness and its Impact 34:00 Reevaluating the Value of Solitude 38:00 Reflections on the Book and the Importance of Conversation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Anita Bhagwandas: Finding a Social Balance When You Live Alone | 12 Dec 2023 | 00:49:39 | |
My guest this week is Anita Bhagwandas, an award winning beauty director, and more recently the author of Ugly: Giving Us Back Our Beauty Standards, a book that examines the damaging impact of narrow beauty ideals and serves as a brilliant manifesto towards a more inclusive attitude. The book explores the importance of practising self care on your own terms, not what the beauty industry tells you - something Anita knows a lot about after 15 years in the industry. Anita also lives alone in London, like me, and we discuss the creative joys of cooking for one, getting to plan a week that perfectly balances quiet night doing laundry with going out to gigs with friends - something Anita loves – plus an honest discussion of why getting flaked on can affect you much harder when you’re single or live alone. Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device. Takeaways
Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Speed Friending 02:14 Being Good at Time Alone 03:10 Introverts and Only Children 05:39 Alone Time During the Pandemic 08:05 Journalist Mode in Social Situations 11:12 Solo Hobbies 15:31 Changing Relationship with Alone Time 18:04 The Myth of Self-Care 27:57 Counteracting Myths Around Self-Care 32:30 Navigating External Reinforcement of Self-Care 35:08 Overcoming Only-Me-ism in Cooking 36:45 The Joy of Cooking and Makeup 38:20 The Danger of Makeup as a Tool to Hide 39:17 Rediscovering the Joy and Creativity of Makeup 40:30 The Solo Process of Makeup and Self-Criticism 41:35 Cooking for Yourself vs. Cooking for Others 43:58 Escaping Beauty Standards in Alone Time 44:49 Choosing What Beauty Work to Enjoy 47:25 Picking and Choosing What Makes You Feel Good 48:21 Alonement: Journalling and Checking In with Yourself 49:36 The Joy of Writing in a Nice Notebook You can follow Anita Bhagwandas' Substack at anitabhagwandas.substack.com, and mine at francescaspecter.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Jessica Pan: The Introvert's Guide to Socialising | 05 Dec 2023 | 00:50:54 | |
In this episode, Jessica Pan discusses her book 'Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come' and her journey of embracing extroversion. As we discuss on the show, Jessica is almost the opposite to me – she’s an introvert who learnt to be more extraverted, whereas I started exploring Alonement as a means of dealing with my fear, as an extrovert, of being alone. She tells me about her journey to embrace solo travel, socialising with strangers and making new friends, all with the help of her 'extrovert mentors'. What this following episode touches on is the importance of balance and choice around how we spend our alone time, plus how learning to integrate more connection in your life can help you fall back in love with your solitude. We also touch on the loneliness of big cities, particularly London, and how Jessica has managed to curate her own tiny village within the UK capital. Jessica also talks about starting her Substack newsletter, It'll Be Fun, They Said, based on part-time job working in a local independent bookshop. Finally, she shares her favourite kinds of alone time, which involves reading by the ocean and journaling in a cafe. Takeaways
Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 02:21 Different Journeys, Same Goal 03:42 The Fluidity of Introversion and Extroversion 04:10 The Pleasure of Working in a Bookshop 05:31 Starting the Substack Newsletter 06:30 Choosing Pleasure and Storytelling 08:25 The Enchantment of Working in a Bookshop 09:50 The Joy of Working in a Bookshop 10:46 The Aspirational Lifestyle of Working in a Bookshop 11:02 Balancing Work and Alone Time 12:57 The Privilege and Prison of Being Alone 13:57 Choosing to Be Alone 14:25 The Nuance of Enjoying Alone Time 15:24 The Universal Loneliness Problem 16:48 The Counterintuitive Decision to Be an Extrovert 17:18 The Loneliness of Metropolitan Life 19:10 The Surprise Solo Travel Experience 23:12 The Challenges of Solo Travel 25:08 The Benefit of Extrovert Mentors 32:50 Favorite Extrovert Adventures 36:36 Gaining Compassion for Introverted Parts 40:05 Tips for Spending Time Alone 45:27 Appreciating Introverted Parts of Yourself 46:26 Creating a Village in the City 49:21 Curating a Community 51:17 Creating Connections 52:15 Favourite Alone Time Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device. You can follow Jessica Pan's Substack at jesspan.substack.com, and my own at francescaspecter.substack.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Poppy Jay: From Arranged Marriage to Falling in Love with Singlehood | 28 Nov 2023 | 00:42:09 | |
My guest on this week’s episode is Poppy Jay, best known as the co-host of Brown Girls Do It Too, which won Podcast of the Year at the British Podcast Awards 2020. She’s also a BAFTA-nominated documentary maker, devoted to chronicling difficult, real-life stories for BBC Three and Channel 4. But she’s also been honest about her own: after entering an arranged marriage at the age of 19, Poppy got divorced at 25 – and has spent the past decade exploring her identity. In a Times interview earlier this year, she said – ’I’m 37 and and my whole life has been riddled with shame. Now I try to live by confronting it and owning it.’ And that’s exactly what she does in this episode – we talk about everything from the self-knowledge that comes from being alone, doing nothing, to why Poppy’s trying to be more honest for her need to be by herself after casual sex – and the unexpected beauty of a mutual, respectful break-up in your 30s. Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Thomas Curran: The Dark Side of Perfectionism | 21 Nov 2023 | 00:43:39 | |
'That's the root of perfectionism: that chronic deficit thinking, the belief that we're not good enough. That we're not attractive enough, smart enough, fit enough, whatever it might be. In order to compensate for those feelings, we project on to the world a perfect persona that we feel like everybody wants to see – that we should be, essentially. And it's exhausting if you have to keep that up in every single interaction.' Welcome back to another season of Alonement. My first guest on this season is Dr Thomas Curran, a world leading expert on perfectionism and the author of The Perfection Trap: The Power Of Good Enough In A World That Always Wants More. Endorsed by the likes of Adam Grant and, more recently, Gwyneth Paltrow, The Perfection Trap is the culmination of years of academic research, interwoven with other expert voices, and as well as being rooted in academia it’s also chatty, engaging and honest, which was not something I expected from an academic text. In this conversation, we chat about the relationship between alone time and perfectionism. This includes how solitude can sometimes be used as a space to recover from perfectionism, for practising a hobby that you’re not, technically, very good at – purely for the joy of it. But also the danger of bringing your own perfectionist tendencies along, like trying to get a PB every time you go for a solo run. We also touch on the potential loneliness of relocating you have to do as an academic professor – or any lifestyle, like digital nomadism, that involves rootlessness and moving around a lot. Finally, we discuss how time outside – specifically cycling in nature – is Thom’s favourite kind of alonement, and how sometimes finding joy in solitude can come to our rescue in our lowest moments. Thank you to our season sponsor Sensate, a palm-sized infrasonic stress and anti-anxiety device. Visit getsensate.com/alonement for 10% off your first device (you can also use the code ALONEMENT at checkout). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Vex King: How To Practise Self-Love Through Your Actions | 17 Aug 2023 | 00:49:48 | |
You can’t really love anyone until you love yourself. While we see this a lot on Instagram, it’s something that actually requires a lot of exploration – and it’s my guest this week, the bestselling author and mind coach Vex King, that many of us have turned to over the past few years to teach us the true power of self-love, through his books, first in 2018’s Good Vibes, Good Life and later in 2021’s Healing is the New High. Now, Vex is back with his new title – Closer To Love – an essential guide to bringing those lessons into dating and romantic relationships. In this episode, he shares a little sample platter of that wisdom. We discuss everything from how Vex’s difficult upbringing made him the person he is today - how he’s navigated what he calls the verb, or action, that is love, in his own relationship with his wife. Finally, a fresh approach to self-love: how to demonstrate it to yourself through actions, and how to self-love if you’re looking for a relationship but haven’t found one yet. We discuss, among other things:
Cultural references from our conversation:
You can purchase all of Vex King’s books from Vexking.com Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Thank you so much to WestLab for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions,T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023. Twitter: * * Instagram: * Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Ruby Warrington: My Marriage Wouldn't Work With Children | 10 Aug 2023 | 00:49:15 | |
My guest this week is Women Without Kids author, Ruby Warrington. We're are at a fascinating time in history – where, both in the UK, US, and across almost every developed nation like Switzerland, Italy, Japan and South Korea, adults are having children later in life – or, indeed, not at all. While statistics vary, it is a recognised trend – and that trend is relevant to all of us whether we have children now or in the future, or don’t. Author Ruby Warrington, for this week’s episode, has tackled that subject in her latest book, Women Without Kids – a timely non-fiction investigation into what it means to be, as it says on the tin, a woman without children today, with the help of expert insights from philosophers, anthropologists, social scientists and other writers. This is naturally a topic that lends itself an alonement slant, too – we all know that parenthood isn’t exactly famed for its abundant alone time, but what about a life, and heterosexual relationship, that takes place without it? Ruby, who is now in her mid-forties and has been with her husband Simon for over 20 years, shares the answers to that question, and many more – offering so many insightful perspectives into being childfree by choice. We discuss, among other things:
You can purchase Women Without Kids from all good bookshops, and online. Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Thank you to WestLab for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Their bestselling Dead Sea bath salt range is a skin hero, containing a unique blend of magnesium, calcium and potassium, which is brilliant for protecting and repairing your skin barrier and managing conditions like eczema, psoriasis, acne and sensitive skin. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions,T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023. Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Donna Lancaster: Alone Is Where I Meet Myself | 03 Aug 2023 | 00:49:56 | |
Donna Lancaster is a coach and therapist, best known as the co-creator of The Bridge, a retreat designed to help attendees navigate grief and loss, and the author of a book of the same name. More recently, Donna has published a pocket book called Wise Words for Women, full of advice on how to live a rewarding, connected life. I know we hear a lot of these buzzwords like authenticity and pain, but equally I think what a lot of us are searching for day to day is that person who emanates gentle, universal wisdom, that comforting phrase that catches you at the right time. Donna refers to herself as a ‘trainee elder’, and to those she touches with her work, that’s what she is. This is a conversation about how to find wonder and creativity in alone time; how to connect with nature; and just generally how to find a bit more joy in our lives. We discuss, among other things:
You can purchase Donna’s latest book, Wise Words for Women, now online and in bookstores. Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Thank you so much to WestLab for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Their bestselling Dead Sea bath salt range is a skin hero, containing a unique blend of magnesium, calcium and potassium, which is brilliant for protecting and repairing your skin barrier and managing conditions like eczema, psoriasis, acne and sensitive skin. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions,T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023. Twitter: * * Instagram: * Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Naoise Dolan: Autism, (Un)happy Couples & The Joy Of Being A Foreigner | 27 Jul 2023 | 00:42:10 | |
This week’s guest is author Naoise Dolan. I am absolutely thrilled to have Naoise on this season – she’s widely consider of the millennial generation’s most talented writers, ever since her Sunday Times bestseller debut novel Exciting Times was published in 2020. It’s currently being adapted into an Amazon Studios TV production starring Phoebe Dynevor. We’re here to discuss her hotly anticipated follow up book, The Happy Couple, which is a sort of anti-rom counting down to the wedding of a boy and girl who probably shouldn’t get married. During this recording, we chat about Naoise’s experiences of being an expat in Berlin – where she’s lived less than a year. Fans of Naoise, who is originally from Dublin, will know that she is no stranger to the experience of living abroad – her first book, Exciting Times, was heavily inspired by her own expat experience living in Hong Kong, while she’s also lived in Singapore and Italy. From an alone time perspective, this is an interesting position to be in – and Naoise describes how this sense of being a foreigner has enabled some of the incredibly perceptive social observation in her writing. We also discuss Naoise’s autism diagnosis, and how it might or might not reflect itself in her writing – plus, whether framing writing as ‘neurodivergent’ is useful in the first place. I found Naoise incredibly thoughtful and intelligent – she has a dark sense of humour, which I really appreciate, and she has one of the best laughs I’ve ever heard on this podcast. I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did. We discuss, among other things:
You can purchase Naoise’s book, The Happy Couple, now online and in bookstores. Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content. My book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Thank you so much to WestLab for sponsoring this season. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, expires 31st August 2023. Twitter: * * Instagram: Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Caggie Dunlop: Overcoming Anxious Attachment In A Relationship | 20 Jul 2023 | 00:48:52 | |
My guest for this week’s episode is podcaster and author Caggie Dunlop, whom you might also recognise as a former cast member on the rather well known reality show called Made in Chelsea. Caggie has since reached a whole different audience. Her show Saturn Returns – which explores the coming of age happens somewhere around your late twenties and early thirties – has united a community as they navigate the shared challenges and opportunities that come with this age. I discovered the show last year – unsurprisingly, just as I was coming into this life stage – and was lucky enough to be Caggie’s guest on an episode released this May. Afterwards, Caggie generously agreed to come on and talk all things alone time with me – together with discussing her debut book, a memoir meets guidebook co-written with astrology expert Noura Bourni. In this episode, we talk about everything from the loneliness that Caggie faced when she pursed her singing career in LA, to, on the more positive side, how to navigate the vulnerable early stages of a blossoming relationship in a healthy way. I also ask Caggie how solo holidays work out when you’re a recognisable former reality TV star. We discuss, among other things:
You can purchase Caggie’s book, Saturn Returns, now – while her podcast of the same name is available to listen to wherever you get your podcast. Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Thank you so much to WestLab for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions,T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023. Twitter: * * Instagram: * Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Adam Gopnik: Solitude And The City, Edward Hopper & The Joy Of Being Alone In A Crowd | 13 Jul 2023 | 00:40:39 | |
This week's guest is Adam Gopnik, a long-standing staff writer at the New Yorker, and the award-winning author of a frankly intimidating number of books, most recently The Real Work: On the Mystery of Mastery, which explores the process of learning a new skill. And then there was his recent Hollywood debut – those who’ve seen Oscar-winning film Tar might have also spotted Adam playing himself, as an interviewer, alongside Cate Blanchett in the film’s opening scene. Today, we’re talking about solitude – and how it’s played out in Adam’s writing career and life more broadly. As a true New Yorker, Adam tells me how his version of alone time manages to integrate a great deal of companionship too, from his love of working amid the hustle & bustle of others in his office days to the more collaborative strands of his career, including writing for musical theatre. Alone time, for Adam, is best spent pacing around a crowded city listening to what he still still refers to as a walkman – alone in a crowd. He also shares with me how his childhood, growing up as one of six in a crowded noisy house, has shaped his love of being around others in modern life. Finally, we discuss the beauty of solitude as depicted by the art of Edward Hopper – which Adam and I share a love for. We discuss:
References from our conversation:
You can purchase all of Adam Gopnik’s books, including The Real Work, at adamgopnik.com/books. Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow her personal writing plus podcast bonus content. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, based on this podcast, from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Thank you so much to WestLab for sponsoring this season Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions, T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Dr Nicole Lepera: How A Fear of Being Alone Feels In Your Body | 06 Jul 2023 | 00:46:00 | |
This week’s guest is Dr Nicole LePera, whom you might be more familiar with as the Holistic Psychologist – the handle of her somewhat insanely popular Instagram account. She’s also the author of multiple books, including her New York bestseller How To Do The Work, and her latest title, a workbook called How To Meet Your Self. With fans including Elizabeth Day, Dr Rangan Chatterjee and Mel Robbins, Nicole’s popularity is justified – with her succinct but hard-hitting social media posts bringing therapeutic insight out of the expensive and often inaccessible clinical space and in front of the 9 million people who follow her on social media. We discuss, among other things:
You can find links to Dr Nicole Lepera’s latest workbook on howtomeetyourself.com. Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Thank you so much to WestLab for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions,T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023. Twitter: @ChezSpecter @theholisticpsych Instagram: @ChezSpecter @the.holistic.psychologist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Amy Key: Single For 22 Years – A Life Story Told Through Joni Mitchell Songs | 30 Jun 2023 | 00:49:05 | |
This week's guest on the podcast is the poet Amy Key. We're here to discuss her first work of prose, Arrangements in Blue: Notes on Love and Making a Life, which is a memoir inspired by the work of Amy's beloved musical icon, Joni Mitchell. Aged 44. Amy has been single for 22 years. Her book challenges us to consider the claim that life can both be wonderful in the absence of romantic love – and that it is yet still valid to want it nevertheless. Described by The Guardian as a ‘cathartic meditation on singledom’, Arrangements in Blue is a book that reflects on the universal question of what makes a life rich and whole, in a way that resonates regardless of your relationship status. It is also a nuanced discussion of different kinds of alonement, from the luxury of living alone (it's worth mentioning. Amy speaks to me from her flat in London, where the walls are painted a gorgeous shade of pink, and there's a piano and her books in the backdrop) to the highs and lows of solo travel. We discuss, among other things:
You can purchase Arrangements in Blue now at all good bookshops. Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Thank you so much to WestLab for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Their bestselling Dead Sea bath salt range is a skin hero, containing a unique blend of magnesium, calcium and potassium, which is brilliant for protecting and repairing your skin barrier and managing conditions like eczema, psoriasis, acne and sensitive skin. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions,T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023. Twitter: * * Instagram: Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Susan Cain: The 'Quiet' Author On Free Falling Through Her Early 30s, Plus Why She Married An Extrovert | 22 Jun 2023 | 00:49:44 | |
The Alonement podcast is back! And for the first episode of this season, I’m speaking to one of the most-requested guests since the show began: Susan Cain. Susan is the author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking, a book which spent eight years on the New York bestseller list after its publication in 2012. The book was inspired by her former career as a Wall Street lawyer, a profession where she came face-to-face with what she identified as a Western bias towards extroversion in the workplace. In Quiet, she celebrates the traits of introverted people, including their capacity for reflection and solitude. In April 2022, Susan published Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, which is an exploration of how embracing life’s sadness, as well as its positive moments, can be the pathway to a greater appreciation of beauty and wonder. We discuss, among other things:
Cultural references from our conversation:
You can purchase all of Susan Cain’s books, including Quiet and Bittersweet, on susancain.net/books. Subscribe to my weekly email newsletter at francescaspecter.substack.com to follow my personal writing plus podcast bonus content. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Thank you so much to WestLab for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Their bestselling Dead Sea bath salt range is a skin hero, containing a unique blend of magnesium, calcium and potassium, which is brilliant for protecting and repairing your skin barrier and managing conditions like eczema, psoriasis, acne and sensitive skin. Visit westlabsalts.co.uk/products/dead-sea-salt and quote the code ALONEMENT15 for 15% off when you spend £10 or more, excludes subscriptions,T&Cs apply. Code expires 31st August 2023. Social links: @ChezSpecter on Instagram & Twitter, while Susan is @susancain on Twitter and @susancainauthor on Instagram. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Introducing... The Shoulds | 04 Nov 2022 | 00:00:46 | |
Hello Alonement listeners! So, a quick announcement to share that I've just launched a new project called The Shoulds. The Shoulds is an online Substack publication and community space that explores the hidden rules and stories that shape our lives. In many ways, this newsletter will be just like this podcast covering a lots of similar topics around psychology, authentic living, and relationships. But also it will be a space for us to have two-way conversations and get to know each other a little bit better. I would love to see as many of you possible over there at Substack. To follow, just type francescaspecter.substack.com into your web browser and enter your email address to receive updates directly to your inbox. You can also follow me on Twitter and on Instagram – @ChezSpecter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Konnie Huq: Why Everyone Needs Anchors | 24 Oct 2022 | 00:09:43 | |
This clip is taken from my guest interview with former Blue Peter presenter Konnie Huq, first released in August 2020. Konnie speaks about the sustaining power of having 'anchors' – close friends and family whom you know are at the end of the phone – and how this prevents loneliness, even when you are alone. Twitter: @ChezSpecter @Konnie_Huq Instagram: @chezspecter Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Dr Marisa G. Franco: Why ‘Secure’ Attachment & Alone Time Go Hand In Hand | 20 Oct 2022 | 00:46:47 | |
Season 7 finale! How did that happen?! We are, however, going out with a bang... This week, I have the pleasure of chatting to friendship expert & psychologist Dr Marisa G. Franco, whose new book Platonic: How Understanding Your Attachment Style Can Help You Make and Keep Friends combines two of the most zeitgeist-y lifestyle topics of the moment: attachment theory and the value of friendship. After interviewing Marisa, I was actually invited to provide the cover endorsement (!) for the UK edition, which I couldn’t have been more honoured to do. Here’s what I said about it: ‘Relationships take work. We’ve always accepted that romantically – but, curiously, rarely do we apply the same adage to friendship. Marisa G. Franco’s Platonic is the book that changes that. It not only champions the essentiality of friendship for a happy life and gives a generous reflection of the author’s own experience, it also gives you the toolkit for deepening existing friendships and making new ones. This is all done through the fascinating lens of attachment theory, once again something you may have applied to your romantic relationships but likely never before to your friendships. This is a timely, unique guide to approaching friendship, often the profoundest source of connection in your life, with the love (and self-reflection) it deserves.’
In this episode, recorded just before the book release, we discuss:
You can order Dr Marisa G. Franco’s book, Platonic: How Understanding Your Attachment Style Can Help You Make and Keep Friends, now on Bookshop.org
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Dr Emma Hepburn: Finding 'Flow' | 17 Oct 2022 | 00:08:05 | |
In this clip, we hear from psychologist and Instagram sensation Dr Emma Hepburn – with one of my favourite pieces of wisdom from our original recording, released in April 2021. Emma Hepburn’s book, A Toolkit For Modern Life, discussed in this episode, is available to order now. * My book, Alonement: How To Be Alone & Absolutely Own It, is available to order on Amazon, Waterstones, Bookshop.org and all good booksellers. Instagram: @chezspecter @thepsychologymum Twitter: @ChezSpecter @@EmmaNeuropsych Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Nihal Arthanayake: We Need To Talk About Male Loneliness | 13 Oct 2022 | 00:51:32 | |
This week my interviewee is radio and TV presenter Nihal Arthanayake. While I’ll be asking the questions today, Nihal is most used to playing the other role, having interviewed countless household names, including Minnie Driver, Ricky Gervais & Benedict Cumberbatch on his regular BBC 5 Live show. He’s recently written a book, Let’s Talk: How To Have Better Conversations - based on what he’s learnt through his job, which we’ll be discussing as part of this episode. We discuss, among other things:
You can order Nihal's latest book, Let's Talk: How to Have Better Conversations, now from Bookshop.org.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * @TherealNihal * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Daisy Buchanan: Life Advice From A Former Agony Aunt | 10 Oct 2022 | 00:10:35 | |
Another week, another bitesize mini-episode from Alonement archives. This conversation with journalist and author Daisy Buchanan comes from the first season of Alonement, recorded in person at my flat in November 2019. Before pivoting towards writing books, Daisy worked as an agony aunt for Grazia magazine, answering reader questions around everything from work to relationships. We discuss the philosophy underlying all of her advice: that, actually, her role was to empower people to recognise their own capacity for self-knowledge, and to, in the least woo-woo way possible, realise that they had the answers within them. As ever, Daisy is kind, soothing and wise in this clip - I hope you enjoy listening. Twitter: @ChezSpecter @NotRollerGirl
Instagram: @ChezSpecter @alonementofficial @thedaisybee
Get in touch: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Holly Bourne: The Alternative Version of 'Happily Ever After' | 06 Oct 2022 | 00:47:52 | |
This week I have the absolute pleasure of speaking to one of my favourite authors, Holly Bourne. After beginning her novel-writing career in the young adult genre, Holly has released three brilliant titles for adults over the past few years, which are full of wise reflections on relationships, navigating social pressure and recovering from trauma. She’s influenced, in part, by the five years she spent working as an online agony aunt for a youth charity, specialising in relationships and mental health, and her present role as the youth ambassador for Women’s Aid. Her honest, empathetic writing has made me, and so many other that I know, feel less alone – saying that, I can’t wait to see what she has to say about alone time, and what it means to her. We discuss, among other things:
You can order Holly's latest book, Girlfriends, now on Bookshop.org. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Erling Kagge: London Is Lonelier Than Antarctica | 03 Oct 2022 | 00:10:28 | |
Erling Kagge, one of the greatest living polar explorers – and the first in history to reach the 'three poles' – is the guest that we hear from in this week’s mini episode, taken from our longer conversation released in February 2022. Speaking to me from his home in Norway, Erling shares touchingly in this clip how the time he spent living in London in early adulthood was more lonely than the period he spent 50 days and 50 nights alone traversing the South Pole. Our conversation is a reflection on what it truly means to experience alonement; to be lonely; and everything in between. Twitter: * @ChezSpecter * Instagram: * @ChezSpecter * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Salma El-Wardany: Heartbreak Made Me Whole Again | 29 Sep 2022 | 00:41:55 | |
In this week’s episode, I interview poet, BBC radio presenter and author Salma El-Wardany. Salma’s debut novel, These Impossible Things, has been a breakout international hit. It’s a novel about three British Muslim women whose close friendship falls apart one devastating night, and covers the themes of platonic bonds, identity and growing up.
We discuss, among other things:
You can order Salma El-Wardany’'s debut novel, These Impossible Things, now from Bookshop.org.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Sophia Money-Coutts: Egg Freezing & The Option Of Solo Parenting | 26 Sep 2022 | 00:09:21 | |
Journalist and novelist Sophia Money-Coutts is the star of this week’s mini-episode, first released in a longer form in August 2020. In this clip, we discuss a really important, timely topic of egg-freezing – undoubtedly one of the most important advances in fertility medicine like, ever. Sophia is wonderfully honest about her decision to freeze her eggs in her thirties, and discusses the ups and downs of going through the process as a single woman. You can order Sophia Money-Coutts' latest novel, Did You Miss Me, now at Bookshop.org.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Dr Kat Lederle: Does Sleep Count As 'Me-Time'? | 22 Sep 2022 | 00:46:39 | |
Ever wondered about the relationship between sleep and ‘alone time’? That’s the topic of this week’s episode with Dr Kat Lederle, a sleep scientist and chronobiologist (read: ‘body clock scientist’). I don’t know about you, but as someone who occasionally sits up for hours in the early morning with insomnia, I’d never considered how a lack of ‘me-time’ in the day might turn into a sleepless night… this conversation truly opened my eyes, and gave a fresh view on why quality alone time is just so important, not only for our waking hours but for our sleeping ones too. We discuss, among other things:
You can learn more about Dr Kat Lederle and the Somnia sleep clinic on the Somnia.org.uk website.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Vick Hope: Why I Am My Own Soulmate | 19 Sep 2022 | 00:09:15 | |
Talk about an alonement icon – radio DJ & broadcaster Vick Hope is a woman who radiates everything this podcast is about, as a sunny, ambitious, beautiful soul with an infectious passion for life, or as she puts it 'a gratitude for being alive'. This episode was recorded in September 2020, and in the full episode Vick talks about living alone, being single and building a relationship with herself after a one-time fear of time by herself. While no longer single (Vick is rumoured to be engaged to Calvin Harris), this is a universal message of what it means to celebrate your aloneness as a unique individual – regardless of your life stage stage or romantic relationship status. Listening back to this gives me chills, and I hope it resonates with you in a similar way. Another reason this one is close to my heart: the full-length of this episode was recently nominated for an award at the Skylark International Women's Podcast Awards, ceremony to come – the award is appropriately titled 'Moment of Insight From a Role Model'. Twitter: @ChezSpecter @vicknhope Instagram: @ChezSpecter @vickhope Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Emma Forrest: Finding Solitude & Romance In Celibacy | 15 Sep 2022 | 00:35:23 | |
As political protests go, a four-year vow of celibacy is on the extreme side. And that’s what this week’s guest, British-American film director & writer Emma Forrest, decided to do following her divorce from actor Ben Mendelsohn, a period of her life which coincided with Donald Trump serving as the 45th US President from 2017 to 2021. ‘Looking at him makes me not want to have sex,’ Emma reasoned – devoting herself to single parenting, finding joy in solitude, relocating from sunny LA to not-so-sunny London – and writing a memoir, Busy Being Free: A Lifelong Romantic Is Seduced By Solitude, about all of the above.
In this episode, we discuss:
You can order Emma Forrest’s book, Busy Being Free: A Lifelong Romantic is Seduced by Solitude, now on Bookshop.org
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Mo Gawdat: How To Make Friends With Your Brain | 12 Sep 2022 | 00:06:52 | |
Mo Gawdat, bestselling author, podcaster & former chief business officer of Google X, is the star of this week's minisode, taken from our conversation first recorded in September 2021. In this clip from the archives, Mo shares his unique advice for learning to be alone comfortably with our thoughts, ie the gold standard of alonement. With a background in engineering, Mo is one of the most original thinkers I've ever met – and I hope you can be inspired by this cherry-picked snippet of wisdom from our episode together. Mo Gawdat's latest book, That Little Voice In Your Head, is available to buy now. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Social links: Twitter: * @ChezSpecter * @MGawdat Instagram: @alonementofficial * @ChezSpecter * @mo_gawdat * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Phoebe Fox: Does Absence Make The Heart Grow Fonder? | 08 Sep 2022 | 00:30:05 | |
This week’s guest is Phoebe Fox, aka Marial from The Great, who acts alongside Elle Fanning and Nicholas Hoult in Hulu’s deliciously irreverent ‘anti-historical’ comedy-drama. I interviewed Phoebe, a RADA-trained actor who's been nominated both an Olivier and a SAG, earlier this year for GLAMOUR magazine, and I enjoyed our conversation so much that I begged her to come on the podcast so we could continue it.
We discuss, among other things:
You can watch The Great now on Channel 4.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Dr Julie Smith: What's The Point Of Journalling? | 05 Sep 2022 | 00:11:26 | |
For this week's mini-episode, I'm revisiting my conversation with Dr Julie Smith, a clinical psychologist turned bestselling author known better by her Instagram handle, Dr Julie, or simply as that therapist off TikTok. In this clip, we take a deep dive into what it means to journal well. Of course, we see a lot on Instagram about journalling, but as inspiring as that can sometimes be, I wanted to go deeper than picture-perfect stationery. Dr Julie, in this ten-minute clip, goes to the core of what journalling does to our brain – and how it serves as a unique tool to help us process emotions, through helping us put names to our emotions and through reducing rumination. She also offers alternative to journalling for those who, whatever reason, don't get on well with it. You can order Dr Julie Smith's book, Why Has No One Told Me This Before?, now from Amazon and Waterstones. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones. Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip. Twitter: * @ChezSpecter @Dr_Julie_Smith * Instagram: * @ChezSpecter @drjulie * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Megan Hine: A Survival Expert On Being Your Own Hero | 01 Sep 2022 | 00:49:41 | |
Described by close friend Bear Grylls as ‘stronger than 99% of the men I know’, Megan Hine is a survival expert and TV presenter who works on and off camera to make some of the most extreme adventure shows on television happen. She also holds a degree in psychology – just another string to her already-very-loaded bow. I managed to catch Megan during one of the rare occasions she wasn’t on location for her day job, wrestling tigers, escaping tribal warfare or climbing a mountain (I’m not even exaggerating…). During this podcast interview, she chats to me via Zoom from her home in Wales – with the gorgeous sound of birdsong and clucking chickens.
We discuss, among other things:
You can learn more about Megan Hine on her website, Meganhine.com.
You can order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Florence Given: Choosing Myself Over My ‘Clique’ | 29 Aug 2022 | 00:10:17 | |
As Florence Given tops the fiction bestseller charts with her debut novel, Girlcrush, I decided now would be a brilliant time to revisit this episode – first released in July 2020, after the release of her non-fiction book, Women Don't Owe You Pretty. In this clip, the writer, illustrator & podcast host shares how she learnt a crucial lesson about alone time at the age of 14, when she was 'ousted' from her school clique. If you'd like to learn more about Florence, her books are available on Amazon, while you can also listen to her hugely successful podcast, Exactly. With Florence Given on all good podcast platforms. You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org. Twitter: * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Owen O'Kane: How To Stop Living On Autopilot | 25 Aug 2022 | 01:08:23 | |
I’m delighted to welcome Sunday Times bestselling author Owen O’Kane on to the show this week. Previously an NHS Clinical Lead for mental health, Owen is now a psychotherapist and bestselling author. His books have all sorts of intriguing names, like Ten Times Happier and Ten To Zen. But when I saw the title of his latest book, How To Be Your Own Therapist, my ears pricked up. This is a podcast about alone time and how to make it better – and given that therapy is something which many of us consider valuable, but remains expensive and inaccessible to many, I thought that self-therapy, as Owen describes it, sounds like a brilliant use of your alone time. In this episode, he reveals some of the practical wisdom he shares in his latest book – plus, a little more about his own background, and what led him on the his career path, plus how he likes to spend his alone time.
We discuss, among other things:
You can order Owen O Kane's latest book, How To Be Your Own Therapist, now from Bookshop.org.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Me Time | Alain De Botton: The Art Of Getting To Know Yourself | 22 Aug 2022 | 00:13:38 | |
Welcome to ‘Me Time’, Alonement’s new, weekly series of 10-minute mini episodes from the archives. We’ll be showcasing the very best wisdom from some of our favourite former guests, in bitesize episodes designed for those smaller pockets of Alonement that you get throughout your day. I'm kicking off with a slice of Alonement history: an excerpt from the episode with philosopher, author & School of Life founder Alain de Botton, originally recorded in November 2019. It was actually the first ever episode I recorded of this podcast, and one of the few I got to record in person ahead of the pandemic – at Alain’s office in north London. This recording happened at a time where I was still shaping my own understanding of alonement, and why it matters. Alain was challenging, in a way that proved invaluable. There’s no instant magic in taking time alone, he argued. Long periods of time alone won’t lead to self-knowledge, just like that. Essentially, we need to think about what we’re doing in that alone time, and make sure we’re spending that time in a conscious way - in order to make it ALONEMENT. In this clip, he takes us through a practical exercise we can do when we’re alone: an exercise that involves asking ourselves hard questions about our relationships, our career, and our friends – in order to work out who we are, and what we want; to tune into our intuition, rather than let our major life decisions be dictated by external influences. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Iona Bain: Solo Finance, Living Alone & The 'Single Supplement' | 18 Aug 2022 | 00:58:39 | |
Iona Bain is a personal finance expert who appears regularly on BBC Morning Live and writes a weekly column for the i Paper. She’s written two books, her second is Own It – a millennial guide to investing. On a personal level, she’s also recently made the big step of buying her first flat as a solo buyer – a process she described to me in an email as a ‘learning curve’. In this episode, we discuss questions around solo finance – including the cost of living alone and the dreaded ‘single’ supplement’ – which, as many of you will know, is the additional cost often associated with doing things solo, from getting a hotel room to buying food in the supermarket. So many of you had specific questions you wanted me to ask Iona, so in the second half of this episode I’ll be bringing out some crowd-sourced audience questions.
We discuss, among other things:
You can order Iona Bain's latest book, Own It, now from Bookshop.org.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon, Waterstones and Bookshop.org.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Abigail Bergstrom: Hanging Out With The Best Version Of Yourself | 21 Apr 2022 | 00:37:05 | |
Welcome to the tenth and final episode of season 6. This week’s episode is the second of two live recordings I did back to back at Kings Place in London – which was recorded in front of an audience. My guest is Abigail Bergstrom, the literary agent behind some of the biggest bestselling books in the past few years. More recently, at the beginning of this year, Abigail published her own debut novel, titled What A Shame. It is a beautifully-written story which explores everything from heartbreak and healing to the occult. I can testify to loving Abigail’s book so much I read the whole thing in one sitting, over the course of an evening. During our conversation, we discussed among other things the importance of turning up as your ‘best self’ for alonement (i.e not completely hungover or tired – because you wouldn’t turn up like that for a date!); the role that alone time plays in emotional healing; plus, why despite being a lover of solitude Abigail will never be taking herself off to a cabin in the woods – and feels a little bit miffed when her boyfriend goes for solo breaks in a log cabin. I hope you enjoy listening. You can order Abigail Bergstrom’s book, What a Shame, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter:
Instagram:
Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Olivia Petter: The Right (& Wrong) Ways To Navigate Solitude In A Relationship | 15 Apr 2022 | 00:33:57 | |
This week, I have something very special for you – it’s the first ever live recording of Alonement, which was recorded in front of an audience at Kings Place in London. In what was a fairly ambitious move, I decided to record not one but two episodes back to back – which I’ll be releasing this week and next. The first guest to join me on stage was Olivia Petter, the author of Millennial Love, a brilliant memoir and social commentary on the modern dating landscape. She’s also the host of a podcast of the same name, which I’ve been lucky enough to be a guest on in the past. Oh, and your ears do not deceive you, that really is a gospel choir singing faintly at the beginning due to a slight timings clash at the concert hall – bear with us, it only goes on for the first 90 seconds. Let’s just call it divine intervention. During this episode, we discuss everything from the how-tos and how-nots of bringing solitude to your relationship to the frankly bizarre terms used to describe dating in online dating ('Cuffing'? 'Breadcrumbing?' We're exhausted!). This was a lively and, well, live conversation, and I hope you enjoy it as much as we (and the audience) did. You can order Olivia Petter’s book, Millennial Love, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter:
Instagram:
Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Emma Gannon: Rediscovering Who You Are, Offline | 07 Apr 2022 | 00:53:54 | |
My very special guest this week is Emma Gannon, host of the Ctrl Alt Delete podcast, one of my absolute favourite shows and the first I ever listened to. Now a prolific author of both fiction and non-fiction, Emma is a true career inspiration – and well as an example of how to live a varied, creative life. Her latest book is Disconnected: How To Stay Human In An Online World, a practical guide to finding connection and community both online and off – in a nutshell, how to make our internet with the digital world that little bit better. As someone whose online brand is so established she was once described as ‘Miss Internet’ by Emma Barnett on Woman’s Hour, Emma is a true authority on how to approach our internet age in a more rewarding way – and I loved her suggestion that true connection begins not with other people, but with a deeper fundamental connection to ourselves first. Tune in to hear our conversation, which is jam packed with insights about everything from choosing a child-free life to Emma’s top tips for solo weekends away (my favourite? Pack your comfiest slippers!). You can order Emma Gannon’s latest book, (Dis)connected: How To Stay Human In An Online World, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter:
Instagram:
Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Roxie Nafousi: On Manifesting, Vision Boarding, & Why Solo Time Is Integral | 31 Mar 2022 | 00:45:52 | |
Become the author of your own story – that's the promise from this week's guest, Roxie Nafousi, a self-development coach and bestselling author of Manifest: 7 Steps To Living Your Best Life, who champions the power of manifesting to bring about positive transformation in your life. Manifesting is a deceivingly simple concept; in a nutshell, it means changing your thought patterns in order to bring about positive change in your life and meet your goals. But it requires not just thought, but action – explains Roxie, who talks me through the power of solo practices like journaling, vision boarding and meditating in order to think hard about what you want from your career, relationships and creative life. This definitely convinced me of the merits of the practice, which some have written off as woo-woo or unrealistic but, actually, is firmly grounded in practical, realistic steps and intentionality. Plus, yes, quality alonement – which, yes I'm biased, but I maintain is the unifying force behind most modern day personal development practice. Anyway, have a listen, let me know what you thought, and I'll be back next week with a shiny new episode. You can order Roxie Nafousi’s book, Manifest, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Isy Suttie: I'm An Introverted Extrovert | 25 Mar 2022 | 00:50:05 | |
This week's guest is Isy Suttie! The comedian, author and actor best known (among Peep Show fanatics) for playing the character of Dobby on the hit British sitcom. We discuss Isy Suttie's debut novel, Jane Is Trying, together with her stand-up comedy career and relationship with fellow comedian (and alone time fan, by the sounds of things!) Elis James. What follows is a gorgeous chat about the value of integrating alone time into your professional and family life, in order to live and create meaningfully. My Peep Show obsession is now in fierce competition with my adoration for the lovely, warm & wise soul that is Isy Suttie. I also have 100x more respect for the sheer craftsmanship and art form of comedy, a career which makes Isy’s other lines of work (you know, casually writing a book and acting in an award-winning TV series) sound like a breeze, comparatively. Anyway, happy listening – Isy is a joy. You can order Isy Suttie’s book, Jane Is Trying, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
Thank you so much to Flash Pack for sponsoring this season of the podcast. Flash Pack is a travel company that offers boutique group adventures for solo travellers in their 30s and 40s. Visit flashpack.com/alonement to learn more and quote ALONEMENT at check-out for £100 off your first trip.
Twitter: * * Instagram: * * Contact: press@alonement.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||
| Angelica Malin: The Secret To Living Your Best Single Life | 18 Mar 2022 | 00:49:27 | |
This week’s guest is author and journalist Angelica Malin, who recently published Unattached: Empowering Essays on Singlehood, a curated anthology of 30 writers (including me!) exploring the experience of being single, which was published by Square Peg earlier this year. Angelica, or Jelly as I know her, just so happens to be one of my closest friends. During our conversation, we discuss how our close friendship (and having other ‘single’ friends) is one of the most important factors in navigating a happy, ‘unattached’ lifestyle – from being each other’s plus-ones at parties to empowering one another to take solo trips to Santorini (you’re going to love Angelica’s account of hers). Angelica also shares how the breakdown of a five-year-long relationship at the beginning of the pandemic led to her creating a community of single women through her work, after deciding she – and others – shouldn’t have to navigate this lifestyle in isolation. This is an intimate conversation between close friends, and I'm so happy that, through the beauty of podcasting, you can be part of it.
You can order Angelica Malin's book, Unattached: Empowering Essays on SInglehood, now from Amazon and Waterstones.
You can also order my book, Alonement: How To Be Alone and Absolutely Own It, which is based on this very podcast, now from Amazon and Waterstones. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. | |||