Explore every episode of the podcast Adoption Wise

We often get questions about whether teachers or other folks who interact with our kids can have blocked care. Or what about siblings? Also, can you have blocked care towards a spouse? Since we weren't the first ones to name blocked care, we went to the source. We are thrilled to bring you this conversation with Dr. Jonathan Baylin, author of Brain-Based Parenting and other works, and Jessica Sinarski of BraveBrains. Besides digging deeper in the science of caregiving, we also talk about the differences between primary and secondary blocked care and blocked compassion. Dr. Baylin received his doctorate in clinical psychology from Peabody College of Vanderbilt University in 1981. While continuing his clinical practice, he has immersed himself in the study of neurobiology and in teaching mental health practitioners about the brain. Dr. Baylin has delivered keynote sessions at international conferences and has also given numerous workshops both internationally and regionally within the USA. Jessica Sinarski is a licensed mental health counselor, educator, and award-winning author. She is also the founder of the resource and training platform BraveBrains. Jessica makes tough topics easier, empowering the healers and the cycle breakers among us. She lives in Pennsylvania with her husband and three busy boys. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Brain-Based Parenting: The Neuroscience of Caregiving for Healthy Attachment* by Baylin and Hughes Connect with Jessica on Instagram Climbing Out of Chronic Stress (with printable cheat sheet) FREE Blocked Care Assessment *this is an affiliate link

Marriage is already hard, but add in parenting children with significant needs and blocked care, and staying married may seem impossible. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa answer two listener questions about marriage and blocked care with personal stories and practical tips. If you're not married, you'll still find insights you can apply to your close relationships with folks who love your family. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links FREE Blocked Care Assessment Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy) Books by Dr. Sue Johnson* * this is an affiliate link

We believe that overcoming blocked care is best in community. In this episode, we explore the power of community and compassion in the journey of foster care and adoption. Kayla North generously shares her experiences of blocked care and how support, self-care, and practical strategies can lead to resilience and healing. They also talk about how mom's found hope through attending Reclaim Compassion book clubs last summer. Ryan and Kayla North are a dynamic husband-and wife duo who have dedicated their careers to helping adults create environments where children feel safe, welcome, and loved. Through their work, they have become trusted voices for parents, professionals, churches, and educators. They are Co-Founders of One Big Happy Home and the Empowered Parent Podcast. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Kayla on Instagram Free Reclaim Compassion Group Guide

Lisa and Amber Reynolds (our Director of Communications) chat about the challenges of parenting a young child struggling with mental illness. Amber shares candidly about what she wishes she had done differently, how her son's mental illness affected her health, and how she's overcoming blocked care. As an Enneagram 8, Amber loves advocating well for all those in her care. She and her husband, Chris, have been foster parents for seven years and have three children through adoption. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Amber on Instagram Join Reclaim Compassion

Generally, what we carry into our childhoods and throughout our adulthood is part of a wider series, even patterns, of behavior, traumas, and worldviews. In this workshop, Dr. Stoker will give a very brief overview of Family Systems theory. You will learn: highlights for Family Systems theory a narrative that will assist you in seeing systems more objectively tools to heal and offer hope for those with whom you live and serve Dr. Andy Stoker (he/him) is married to Megan, and they are parents to two sons, Alex (20) and Wesley (15). Andy is an ordained United Methodist minister, holds a secular PhD in Family Science, and is a certified mindfulness meditation teacher in the Western Buddhist tradition. He currently serves as the Senior Pastor of Central United Methodist Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. For over two decades, Andy advocated for justice, fairness, equity, and inclusiveness in the Dallas area in the areas of public education, fair employment, healthcare access, and housing justice. In his free time, he co-hosts a parenting podcast with a psychologist and pediatrician called “Parenting for the Present." Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Andy on Instagram Parenting for the Present podcast Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue* by Edwin H. Friedman Bowen Theory's Secrets* by Michael Kerr The Bowen Center on Youtube A Family Genogram Workbook* by by Israel Galindo, Elaine Boomer, and Don Reagan *this is an affiliate link

Foster care and adoption are full of ambiguous losses and disenfranchised grief. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa discuss the gap between expectations and reality which can lead to feelings of grief. They offer tangible practices, including writing, verbal processing, and bodywork. The importance of acknowledging and processing darker emotions such as sadness, anger, or resentment without judgment is emphasized. Lastly, they mention adapting these practices for children experiencing similar grief and loss. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Qualls and Corkum #33: Grieving the unexpected losses in adoption #121: An Introduction to Trauma & Tension Release Exercise (TRE) with Christa Bevan FREE Facebook Group   * this is an affiliate link

Rebekah Cook shares her experiences of fostering children of incarcerated moms through a ministry called Jonah's Journey. She emphasizes the importance of establishing a relationship with the biological parents and discusses the unique challenges and rewards of this type of foster care. Rebekah also touches on her struggle with blocked care and how she sought support and healing. Rebekah is a stay at home mom and former elementary school teacher who is passionate about loving and serving vulnerable moms in her community. She and her husband, Josh, are parents to 7 kids through birth, adoption and foster care. They are also loving their newest roles as grandparents to two little ones! Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Jonah's Journey

One of the signs of blocked care is isolation. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa chat about the importance of building supportive communities in virtual and real-life spaces. They recommend parents seek out and engage in safe, validating communities where they can discuss their challenges openly. All parents need to fill up their "relationship bucket" in order to maintain compassionate parenting. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Join Reclaim Compassion Join our free Facebook group House of Eve* by Sadeqa Johnson * this is an affiliate link

This week we answer listener questions such as: What resources would you recommend for Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)? Do you have any wisdom to share about parenting a teenager with borderline personality disorder? What if things don't get better? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links PDA Masterclass Melissa's Ted Talk on Redefining Success The Gap and the Gain Podcast  

Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD or they have a diagnosis but aren't sure what to do next. Last time Sandra explored the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. This week in Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD. Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate New York where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Justice for Orphans Sandra's Blog Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach *this is an affiliate link

Many adoptive and foster parents wonder if their child may have FASD, or they have a diagnosis but aren't sure what to do next. In Part 1 of this workshop, you will explore the impact of prenatal exposure to alcohol on a developing baby and identify the primary, secondary, and tertiary symptoms of FASD. In Part 2, you will learn practical techniques for accommodating and supporting children with FASD. Sandra Flach is a mom of 8 children, 5 through adoption—2 diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. She encourages and equips foster and adoptive parents through her weekly Adoption & Foster Care Journey Podcast and blogs at SandraFlach.com. Sandra is co-founder of Justice For Orphans and author of Orphans No More: A Journey Back to the Father. She is also a trained facilitator of the FASCETS Neurobehavioral Model. Sandra and her husband Wayne have been married 35 years. They reside in upstate NY where they love to spend time with family, especially their 8 grandchildren. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Justice for Orphans Sandra's Blog Orphans No More* by Sandra Flach *this is an affiliate link

Last year's reflection episode was a listener favorite, so we're back with another one! With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2023 we thought it would be fun to answer the following questions: Describe a moment of clarity in 2023 Name something that became newly important to you in 2023 What is one new thing you want to explore in 2024 What do I have right now that, five years ago, I only dreamed about having? Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Centering Prayer MP3 Music for the podcast was composed by Oleksandr Oleksandrov on Pond5.

Kinship care, the full-time care of a child by relatives, comes with many added relationship dynamics and complexities. In this episode Nakole Wooley shares how they navigate the challenges of kinship care, and the importance of overcommunication and compassion in the process. Nakole and her husband, Brandon, have been married 15 years. They are raising six kids including three who joined their family through kinship care. She is a military veteran and a licensed master social worker in Missouri. She and Brandon are also Cultivate Connection Facilitators. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Blocked Care 101 Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith*  by Qualls and Corkum Join Reclaim Compassion Free Blocked Care Assessment *this is an affiliate link

In this episode Angela Coston, the executive director of For the Sake of One, shares her journey as an adoptive and foster mom. She candidly discusses her experiences and challenges in parenting children with complex needs while being a community leader. Angela explains how being able to name blocked care helped her shed the shame that she was abnormal or a bad parent. She shares practical strategies that helped her overcome blocked care and highlights the importance of setting boundaries and taking time for nervous system care to maintain resilience. Through her personal experiences and growth, Angela offers hope to listeners, emphasizing that while it might get worse before it gets better, it's entirely possible to navigate the challenges of parenting children with complex needs while taking care of yourself and learning to understand blocked care.​ Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links For the Sake of One Website FREE Blocked Care Assessment Reclaim Compassion* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum *this is an affiliate link

Many children with early adversity have an overactive stress response that can create challenging behaviors. In this engaging workshop you will see compelling case studies, visuals, and research about the role of innate neurodevelopmental movements in healthy physical, mental, and social-emotional functioning. You will gain a new perspective about the importance of neurodevelopmental movements and how they can help with anxiety disorders; sensory issues; overwhelm; and fight, flight and freeze states. Sonia Story developed the Brain and Sensory Foundations curriculum to provide comprehensive training in the use of neurodevelopmental movements for addressing sensory, learning, physical, behavioral, emotional, social, and speech challenges. Since 2006, she has been working with children, parents, and professionals in hands-on sessions and training courses. Sonia’s courses are approved for professional continuing education for occupational and physical therapists, mental health counselors, myofunctional therapists, and massage therapists. Her work has been featured in the books, Almost Autism: Recovering Children from Sensory Processing Disorder; Special Ed Mom Survival Guide; Family Health Revolution; and Same Journey, Different Paths, Stories of Auditory Processing Disorder. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Sonia's website Connect with Sonia on Instagram Slides from Sonia's presentation FREE Resources page for Mental Health Professionals and Parents Click here to join Reclaim Compassion for future workshops

Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion. You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s like your heart seems to have left the relationship. In this episode, we identify the ten signs of blocked care and how to overcome them. It is never too late to reclaim compassion for yourself and your kids! Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Our new Adoption Wise website Free Blocked Care assessment Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Join our Reclaim Compassion coaching group * this is an affiliate link Music for the podcast was composed by Oleksandr Oleksandrov on Pond5.

Every adoptee walks through life dealing with the loss of at least their first family, and each one will experience that loss with a different lens. This week, Suzanne Stabile joins Lisa and Melissa for a rich conversation about adoption, the Enneagram, mystery, and curiosity. Suzanne shares vulnerably about how she's dealing with the "adoption-shaped hole" in her life. As an internationally recognized Enneagram Master, Suzanne has conducted over 500 Enneagram workshops over the past 30 years. She's the author of The Road Back to You, The Path Between Us, and The Journey Toward Wholeness. When she is not on the road teaching and lecturing, Suzanne is at home in Dallas, Texas with her husband, Rev. Joseph Stabile, a United Methodist pastor with whom she co-founded Life in the Trinity Ministry and the Micah Center. She is the mother of four children and grandmother of nine. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Life in the Trinity Ministry The Enneagram Journey Podcast Ambiguous Loss* by Pauline Boss Healing Through the Dark Emotions* by Miriam Greenspan The Girls Who Went Away* by Anne Fessler *this is an affiliate link

Do you have a child who doesn't seem to be fully present? Perhaps it seems they're often daydreaming or in la-la land. This can be especially frustrating if they have trouble focusing at school or completing a task. In this workshop you'll learn: the neurobiology of shutdown how la-la land is protective how to offer safety and connection Robyn loves cultivating deep, resonant connections with anyone who is up for it, and is especially fond of all the grown-ups in the world who love and care for kids impacted by trauma- helpers, healers, educators, and parents.  Her favorite thing ever (besides glittery coffee mugs) is teaching anyone who will listen to harness the power of neuroscience so they can cultivate deep, resonant connections. What would change in the world if we could all do that? To see, be with, feel, and deeply know each other…and ourselves. Robyn thinks everything could change.  You can get your hands on all sorts of free resources at www.RobynGobbel.com, including her podcast The Baffling Behavior Show. Robyn’s first book, Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work, will hit bookshelves everywhere September 21, 2023. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Robyn's website Connect with Robyn on Instagram Connect with Robyn on Facebook How to Change People Pleasing Behavior Free Webinar from Robyn The Connected Therapist* by Marti Smith Click here to download the handout for this workshop *This is an affiliate link

This week we answer listener questions such as: How do I prepare for every possible scenario and keep balance in our lives? Why does our young adult reject us but show loyalty to practical strangers? How do I help my spouse with blocked care? How do I provide choices to a child who doesn't learn from poor ones? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links # 41: Mentally Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 11 most important things you need to know #42: Practically Preparing For Your Adoption or Fostering Journey – The 6 most important things you need to do  

Join Lisa as she talks with Amy J. Brown about the journey of parenting children with special needs. We talk about the moment she realized her children's challenges were going to change her life and family forever. We talk honestly about guilt and shame as adoptive moms, blocked care, and a practical exercise for moving from guilt to acceptance. Amy J. Brown is a writer, mentor, and co-host of the podcast, Take Heart. She is the author of the book The Other Side Of Special: Navigating the Messy, Emotional, and Joy-Filled Life of a Special Needs Mom. Amy has a Master’s Degree in Spiritual Formation and Leadership.  She shares honestly about adoption and parenting children with mental health issues and trauma.  She is the mother of six children. She lives with her husband in Michigan. ​ Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links The Other Side of Special* by Amy J. Brown, Sara Clime, Carrie M. Holt Connect on Instagram Join our Reclaim Compassion Coaching Group *this is an affiliate link

It's easy to get bogged down in big behaviors and forget to have positive interactions with your kids. TBRI® Nurture Groups provide a positive, attachment-rich environment that is imperative to helping your child increase their sense of felt safety while connecting and learning new skills for life. In this workshop, you will learn: importance of Nurture Groups six aspects of a Nurture Group how to implement the components into your family Tristen McGhee is a certified Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI®) Practitioner, adoptive mom, foster/adoptive parent trainer, as well as a trauma-wise parent coach. She has extensive experience working with vulnerable families to find a path of hope and healing. Her passion for helping families and advocating for children with early childhood trauma backgrounds has led to her current enrollment in a graduate program to receive her Master of Education in Trauma and Neuroscience. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Safe Precious Heard Website Connect with Tristen on Instagram Download workshop handout The Connected Parent* by Purvis and Qualls Click here to join Reclaim Compassion for future workshops *This is an affiliate link

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. We couldn’t be happier to share this conversation with Melissa Corkum & Lisa Qualls of The Adoption Connection. We have long respected the work these two remarkable women are doing in the world. They are some of our favorite voices, offering hope and encouragement, to adoptive parents and caregivers. They’ve written numerous books, have a fantastic podcast, offer coaching and speaking, and host a beautiful Facebook community of support. They are doing such good and meaningful work in this space bringing decades of personal and professional experience to the equation. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links This episode first appeared on the Raising Boys and Girls Podcast. Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent’s Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Join our Reclaim Compassion Coaching Group Join our free Facebook group *this is an affiliate link  

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. The authors of Reclaim Compassion and hosts of The Adoption Connection podcast, Melissa Corkum (Enneagram 7) and Lisa C. Qualls (Enneagram 3) join Suzanne Stabile and Joel on the Journey. Parenting is HARD Working together as a 3 and a 7 and how they related differently to feelings Blocked care What is hand lettering? Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links This episode first appeared on The Enneagram Journey Podcast. Reclaim Compassion* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Free blocked care assessment *this is an affiliate link  

We often have opportunities to be guests on other podcasts, and we've had some great conversations. We'd hate for you to miss them. Because we're taking the month of July off from recording new episodes, we thought it would be the perfect time to share some of those interviews with you right here on our podcast. Blocked Care is language identified by Jon Baylin & Dan Hughes which describes the experience whereby: Overwhelming stress in a parent’s nervous system can create this subconscious, not on purpose, self-protective mechanism that makes it so that some of the parts of our brain and nervous system that bring us the joy and the compassion into parenting shut down. This can look like parents who are doing a lot of the actions of parenting (i.e., making therapy appointments, packing lunches, driving kids, etc.), but all the reward of parenting– that reciprocal relationship, the enjoyment, the satisfaction– has left, and it leaves parents feeling a sense of apathy towards parenting, which then cycles into guilt and shame. The stress in a parent’s nervous system that causes blocked care is not always, but can often be related to big, baffling behaviors. Melissa and Lisa help parents begin healing their nervous systems by looking at three different aspects of their lives: We look at their internal world. So what’s happening in their nervous system, what’s happening in their mindset; We look at what’s happening in their external world, their sensory environments; We look at their relational world to safe people, spiritual relationships, etc. Note: Robyn's podcast is now titled The Baffling Behaviors Show Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links This episode first appeared at https://robyngobbel.com/blockedcare/. Reclaim Compassion* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Free blocked care assessment *This is an affiliate link

Our "What We Learned in 2022" episode got such great feedback that we decided to drop in with a mid-year reflections conversation. We spontaneously answered the questions: What did you discover in the first half of the year? Share something that's on your mind right now. What is one thing you would like to learn this summer? These make great journal prompts or conversation starters with a friend. How would you answer them? Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith* by Lisa C. Qualls and Melissa Corkum Wanderlog Anchored* by Deb Dana * This is an affiliate link

Abandoned at a young age, Stephanie wandered the war-torn countryside of Korea. Due to her bi-racial ethnicity, she was abused and violated in every way. She was adopted around the age of nine by David & Judy Merwin. Her parents surrounded her with "lavish love" and encouragement instead of consequences when she acted out during her childhood. They seemed to understand her behaviors came from a well of deep hurt and shame. A profound personal encounter with Jesus Christ enabled her to exchange her pain with Him at the cross and see her identity and purpose in the light of God's love. This message, Stephanie has had the privilege to share with anyone who will listen.  God has honored her with very diverse audiences. Over the past 30 years, her story and teaching have been on TV, radio, in magazines and other people's books. She recently wrote her first book; She Is Mine. She has been an Advocate for Orphans and Adoptees her whole Christian life, believing there is an orphan in each person without Jesus. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Stephanie's Website Destiny Ministries

Vacations are fun until they're not. The anticipation anxiety, change in routine, and potential overstimulation can make enjoyable vacations feel impossible. In this episode, you'll learn: things to consider when planning how to set realistic expectations tried and true tips for keeping the fun in vacation Rachel Bell is an adoptive mom and founder Bell Travel Co. (@belltravelco), that specializes in travel for families and also individuals with food allergies and special needs. Kristen Perso is an adoptive mom and founder of Cherry Blossom Vacations (@cherry_blossom_vacations) which renews families through the gift of vacation Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Join Reclaim Compassion for access to the Q&A portion and future workshops Connect with Rachel and Bell Travel Co. on Instagram Bell Travel Co Website Connect with Kristen and Cherry Blossom Vacations on Instagram Cherry Blossom Vacations Website

This week we answer listener questions such as: How do I give "yesses" to an adult child to strengthen connection? Is younger child adoption easier than older child adoption? Can you explain why my child begs for hugs and then rejects them? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links The Connected Parent* by Dr. Karyn Purvis and Lisa C. Qualls Join Reclaim Compassion *This is an affiliate link

Parenting kids who have experienced trauma, loss and separation can be challenging. Finding strategies that heal and actually work provides hope to parents who are struggling, but these strategies can seem strange to others. Our parents, neighbors, friends, and family (maybe even that lady we see at church each week) have opinions, suggestions and perhaps even judgment about our new parenting strategies. This workshop will give us some tools to help our loved ones understand why we parent the way we do. Beth Smith Feger has over 20 years of experience in training and education. Since completing a Ph.D. in early childhood education in 2009, she has worked training teachers, parents and young people. She is a passionate life long learner and has co-written a text book for early childhood educators. She is currently the Director of Programs at Fostering Hope, an organization the equips and supports families and churches to care for children who have experienced trauma. She is also the mom to three kids, two adopted from foster care. She lives in Austin with her family and enjoys reading, swimming and Marvel movies. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links I Am Fostering Hope Join Reclaim Compassion

When Kristen Thomas acted out as a child at school, it was a cry for help, but she was instead labeled as a "difficult child." Eventually placed in foster care, Kristen struggled with shame and being misunderstood by the people who were supposed to protect her. In this episode, she openly shares her story of how she's breaking the cycle of generational abuse in her family. She also shares the importance and role of community and what she needed from her caregivers. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Kristen on Instagram Free blocked care assessment  

This week we answer listener questions such as: How do you talk about love from birth parents when there's been extensive abuse? How do you address psychosomatic symptoms in your child? Is the new book helpful for other caregivers who interact with my child? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Body work episodes #160: Essential Oils and Mental Health with Dr. Danielle Daniel Reclaim Compassion

Is your adoption journey turning out differently than you imagined? You had so much love to give, but now you feel ashamed and bewildered by your lack of compassion. You may be experiencing blocked care—a self-protective mechanism in your nervous system that makes it difficult to connect with your child and maintain compassion. When it happens, it’s like your heart seems to have left the relationship. But the good news is you are not a bad parent. You can heal from blocked care, and compassion can be rekindled in your heart. Written by @lisacqualls and @melissacorkum_ who have themselves overcome blocked care, the book, Reclaim Compassion, answers the questions, “How did this happen, and will it ever get better?” You’ll recognize yourself in the honest stories from the authors and other parents and come to realize that you’re not at all alone. Rooted in faith and backed by neuroscience, this practical and powerful guide offers a simple step-by-step process for reclaiming compassion for your child and yourself. This week, enjoy an audio preview of Chapter 1. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Reclaim Compassion Website

Your attachment style impact ALL relationships in your life - including your relationship with God. Learn how your attachment style impacts your spiritual life, and how to take steps toward increased attachment security with God. Krispin Mayfield, LPC has a background in full-time ministry and now practices an attachment based therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, with individuals and couples. He lives in Oregon with his wife D.L. and their two children. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Attached to God* by Krispin Mayfield Connect with Krispin on Instagram Join Reclaim Compassion for access to Q&A *This is an affiliate link

Hannah Strege is the first adopted frozen embryo in the world, adopted through the Snowflakes Embryo Adoption program at Nightlight Christian adoptions. She shares about the importance of adoptees knowing their origin story, how she navigates her open adoption, and how adoption impacts her identity. Hannah is a graduate student at Baylor University working on a Masters of Social Work degree. She hopes to some day open a private practice to counsel adoptees, placing families, and adopting families/couples throughout the lifelong adoption process. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Hannah on Instagram Nightlight Christian Adoptions A Snowflake Named Hannah* by John Strege *This is an affiliate link

This week we answer listener questions such as: When do you give consequences in your home? What do we do when the simple act of setting a boundary is a guarantee of conflict and disrespect? How can start facilitating a healthier attachment and decrease separation anxiety? What do we do if our son is sneaking out to spend time with his birth family? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Join Reclaim Compassion

As Dr. Karyn Purvis famously said, "You cannot lead a child to a place of healing if you do not know the way yourself." Making sense of our histories is essential to helping our children heal. In today's episode, Lisa reads portions of Chapter 2 of The Connected Parent, the book she co-authored with Dr. Karyn Purvis. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links The Connected Parent* by Purvis and Qualls Join Reclaim Compassion *This is an affiliate link

Food challenges are common for children with early adversity. We often get questions regarding undereating, overeating, picky eating, hoarding, and sneaking. In this workshop you will: Learn relationship-building strategies to address common issues such as picky eating, power struggles, and weight worries. Understand the health benefits of felt safety and how it helps children do their best with eating. Katja Rowell MD is a family doctor, author and childhood feeding specialist who helps parents and caregivers help children to heal their relationship with food and their bodies, and do their best with eating. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Dr. Rowell on Instagram Love Me, Feed Me* by Katja Rowell M.D. Felt Safety Handout Get more help at Reclaim Compassion *This is an affiliate link

A lot of children shut down when you try to directly correct behaviors or address fears and past experiences. Story, imagination, and play are great ways to tackle tough issues without starting a control battle with your kids. Join Imagination Specialists and veteran parents, Darren and Margie Fink to learn the four steps of bibliotherapy. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Transfiguring Adoption Buy Magical Creatures resources Join Reclaim Compassion    

How can we help our kids navigate their identity, and sit with them in the unknowns of their story or the grief and loss that comes up? Jenn and Josh Hook don't shy away from the hard topics in this fantastic interview. They offer practical ideas for connecting across cultures and supporting your child's unique identity. We also talk about following your child's lead and honoring their grief process as they try to understand their story. Jenn Ranter Hook, MA, is the Founder and Executive Director of Replanted – a ministry that provides post-placement support to foster & adoptive families through support groups and the Replanted Conference. She previously worked as a trauma therapist for children and adolescents in foster care. She speaks frequently on topics related to adoption and foster care support, mental health, and trauma. Joshua Hook, PhD, is a Professor of Psychology at the University of North Texas, where he teaches Multicultural Counseling and Positive Psychology. He is also a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in the state of Texas. He blogs about psychology and faith at JoshuaNHook.com. Josh and Jenn co-authored Replanted: Faith-based support for foster and adoptive families, and Thriving Families: A trauma-informed guidebook for the foster and adoptive journey. They live in Dallas, TX with their daughter. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Thriving Families: A Trauma-Informed Guidebook for the Foster and Adoptive Journey* Connect with Replanted on Instagram Connect with Replanted on Facebook *This is an affiliate link  

This week we answer listener questions such as: What do you do when not everyone in the family wants to foster/adopt anymore? What if one of our kids isn't accepting a newly adopted sibling? What do you do when a child always wants to pick an option not on the list when given two choices? Is anything we're doing making a difference? Click here to download the transcript for this episode.

With the demands of life and parenting, it can be hard to find time to stop and reflect. But pausing and reflecting is good for our soul, our nervous system, and our relationships. In this last episode for 2022 we thought it would be fun to recap the year. What we learned. When we experienced God's kindness. What we're excited about in 2023. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links The Magnificent Lives of Marjorie Post: A Novel* by Allison Pataki Start with Hello* by Shannon Martin Books by Ruth Haley Barton* * This is an affiliate link

Kids are growing up in a world of worry today. Anxiety, in fact, is a childhood epidemic, effecting 1 out of every 4 children. Kids of all ages feel pressure...from the expectations around them, inside of them, and even, unknowingly, from us. What can we do to slow the epidemic for kids, in general? And, even more importantly, what can you do to calm the worry-related meltdowns and help your child find the confidence to fight his or her own brand of Worry Monster? In this workshop, you’ll gain: • understanding the what’s and why’s in terms of the differences between anxiety and worry, and where your child is on the continuum • help practically with tools to overcome the worry that he or she will inevitably face • hope as your child discovers a sense of resilience that is stronger than any worry this age of anxiety can bring Children need understanding, help, and hope. You can make a profound difference in their their journey to finding all three. You will come out of this seminar feeling not only more confident in your parenting but in your ability to help them discover all of the courage that is already inside of them. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Raising Boys & Girls Website Books by David Thomas Raising Boys & Girls Podcast Follow David on Instagram

Listen in as Lisa talks with two single moms about their experiences of becoming adoptive parents. Susan chose international adoption. Britani became an adoptive mom through a kinship care foster placement. They speak candidly about the blessings and challenges of being a single adoptive mom and where they find the support they need. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Holiday Survival Resources The Village (use code podcast)

No one likes to fail. But kids with learning differences feel like they’re failing a lot. They always feel like they’re running to catch up with their same-aged peers. Over time, they’re self-esteem sinks lower and lower. Kids with learning differences are painfully aware of the gap between them and their peers. They may struggle socially as a well as academically. As parents, it’s hard to watch our kids struggle with shame and low self-esteem. We want them to walk with their heads held high and know they can contribute to the world. Keep these tips in mind when parenting your child with learning differences. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Strengths Based Parenting* by Mary Reckmeyer Ph.D Holiday Survival Resources * This is an affiliate link    

This week we answer listener questions about surviving the holidays: * How do I balance the kids' need for downtime with the anxiety that comes with unscheduled time? * How do you avoid dysregulation over gifts? * Do you have ideas for festive foods that aren't full of sugar? * Any tips on being present, feeling joy, and not resenting what's coming? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Past episodes on surviving the holidays #144: How do I find a skilled babysitter for my challenging kids? Against All Grain Celebrations [A Cookbook]* by Danielle Walker *This is an affiliate link

Do you feel isolated or alone in your parenting journey? Do you have trouble connecting with other parents because they don't seem to understand your life? We're celebrating our 200th episode with some friends from The Village, our monthly membership community. They share why they joined and why they stay. They share diversity in how they came to adoption (including kinship) and in their experiences (a dad, a single mom, etc.), but they all agree that there's power in community. They also share some sweet words of encouragement as we close, so make sure to listen to the end! Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Join The Village (use code 'podcast') The Safe and Sound Protocol podcast episode with Robyn Gobbel and Melissa Corkum The Regulation Rescue

Dealing with frequent and intense meltdowns in preschool and school-aged children can be exhausting! Sometimes they are due to sensory processing challenges. The human brain processes 11 million bits of information every second, which comes in through our eight (not five) senses. Neurodivergence and trauma can bias the brain toward quick, defensive reactions to all that sensory input. This often leads to frustrating behaviors and learning disruptions. This workshop will provide some eye-opening sensory basics in a child-friendly format along with practical takeaways that can be integrated into your busy day. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Free Resources + Shop Brave Brains Website #107: Helping Children Understand Their Big Feelings with author, Jessica Sinarski #140: Helpful Strategies for Tough School Mornings with Jessica Sinarski Join The Village (used code: podcast)

When your adoption journey is different than what you expected, there are a lot of ambiguous losses to grieve. Every parent will process and experience grief individually and on their own timeline. This week, Lisa shares five ways to hold onto your marriage, even if grief seems to be tearing you apart. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links #119: Prioritizing Your Marriage as Adoptive Parents with Currey and JJ Blandford #195: [workshop] Maintaining a Strong Marriage When Parenting Is Hard Join The Village (use the code: podcast)

Every adoptee experiences their story through a unique lens. This week we welcome adoptee, Jennifer Dyan Ghoston, who hosts the podcast series Once Upon a Time in Adopteeland. Jennifer and Melissa recorded a conversation to be aired on both of their podcasts where they both explore their stories using the wisdom of the Enneagram. Jennifer is a firm believer that storytelling is healing for both the listener and the storyteller. Jennifer has also shared her story in her memoir The Truth So Far…a detective’s journey to reunite with her birth family*, and in Jean Strauss’s film documentary A Simple Piece of Paper (2013 Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Jennifer's Website Listen to Jennifer's podcast The Truth So Far…a detective’s journey to reunite with her birth family* by Jennifer Dyan Ghoston #186: [Summer Swap] How the Enneagram Can Help Us Become Better Parents *This is an affiliate link  

This week we answer listener questions such as: *  How can I be compassionate towards my child's behaviors without letting them fall into victimhood? *  Is my bar too low? *  Will my transracially adopted child feel more isolated if he's the only person of color in our family? *  What are the pros and cons of Job Corps for older teens? Click here to download the transcript for this episode. Relevant Links #27: Tips for Getting Chores Done #161: [workshop] A New Twist on Chores with Greg Rea Job Corps