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EP. 34: ADHD at Work: Putting Work in Its Place (The Severance Episode) | ADHD with Jenna Free
Chapters 00:00 Introduction: ADHD at Work and the Severance Episode 01:00 When the Mental Boundary Between Work and Life Disappears 03:00 Why Everything Feels Urgent When You're Dysregulated 05:00 You Can't Work Your Way to Peace 06:00 Signs You've Lost Your Work-Life Severance 08:00 Regulating Your Body at Work and at Home 10:00 The Beliefs Behind Your Urgency 13:00 Regulating Your Behavior: Finding Balance 16:00 My Personal Experience with Work Boundaries 19:00 What Regulation Actually Looks Like 21:00 ADHD at Work 2.0 Workshop Announcement
Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD at work and how to actually put work in its place - not with better time management or productivity hacks, but with nervous system regulation. If you've ever been at your kid's soccer game and suddenly remembered an email you should have sent, and now your whole body feels uncomfortable until you send it, this is for you. I'm calling this "the Severance episode" after the TV show, because for ADHDers struggling with ADHD burnout and work-life balance, the mental boundary between work and life can completely disappear. I break down why ADHD makes it so hard to stop thinking about work, even when you desperately want to rest. When you're dysregulated, everything feels urgent - you can't stop thinking about work at home, but then when it's actually work time, you might be stuck in ADHD procrastination and overwhelm. It's the worst trap. I explain how working from dysregulation creates more dysregulation, so you'll never work yourself into peace. I also share the three types of regulation you need: body (slowing down, breathing, relaxing tension), mind (challenging beliefs like "if I don't stay on top of this, everything will fall apart"), and behavior (creating consistency instead of extreme work patterns). I share my own journey from obsessively thinking about work 24/7 to now having natural boundaries and actually feeling done at the end of the day. This episode will help you understand why ADHD at work feels so exhausting and what you can actually do about it.
Action Step This week, pick one area to start practicing regulation.
For your body: slow your walking between meetings or around your house, bring your shoulders down from your ears, and check if you're breathing or holding your breath.
For your mind: notice when you feel urgent and ask yourself "what belief is driving this urgency?" Is it "if I don't stay on top of this, everything will fall apart" or "if I'm not thinking about it, I'll forget something"?
For your behavior: set a quitting time and actually stop, regardless of how much you got done. Notice when you think "just one more email" - that's dysregulation trying to externally regulate. Start small with whichever feels most doable.
Takeaways
For dysregulated ADHD brains, the mental boundary between work and life can completely disappear
When you're dysregulated, everything feels urgent - this is why you can't stop thinking about work
You can't work your way to peace - working from dysregulation creates more dysregulation
Three types of regulation: body (slow down, breathe, relax tension), mind (challenge beliefs behind urgency), behavior (create consistency instead of extremes)
Regulation gives you the internal ability to turn work off when you want rest, and turn it on when you want to work - that's the real skill
Chapters 00:00 Introduction to Boredom and ADHD 01:00 What Does "Boring" Really Mean? 03:00 Boredom as a Nervous System Mechanism 05:00 When Dysregulation Feels Like Boredom 08:00 Boredom Can Be a Motivator for Change 10:00 The Mismatch Between Your State and the Task 12:00 Is Regulation Boring? (Spoiler: No) 15:00 This Week's Practice: Notice Your Body During "Boring" Tasks
Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD and boredom - something I hear constantly from ADHDers struggling with procrastination and task avoidance. If you've ever said "it's just too boring, I can't do it" about laundry, dishes, emails, or paperwork, this episode is for you. I break down why ADHD makes certain tasks feel unbearably boring, and spoiler - it's not actually about the task itself. It's about ADHD dysregulation showing up as physical discomfort. That crawling-out-of-your-skin feeling when you're trying to focus on "boring" tasks? That's your nervous system, not lack of willpower. Using a real example from one of my ADHD regulation group members who couldn't do her taxes (not because they were hard, but because the ADHD overwhelm and boredom felt like a physical wall), I explain how ADHD procrastination is often really a mismatch between your nervous system state and what the task requires. When your ADHD brain is in fight or flight but the task needs calm, steady focus - that's when everyday tasks feel impossible. I also address the fear that ADHD regulation sounds boring, because we confuse dysregulation with excitement. But the stress chemistry of running late and doing things last minute isn't fun - it's exhausting. ADHD regulation gives you real free time, actual relaxation, better focus, and improved self-esteem. Way more exciting than chaos.
Action Step This week, when you catch yourself saying "this is boring," pause and get curious. What does your body actually feel right now? Pick one task you've been avoiding because it's "boring" - folding laundry, washing dishes, filling out a form - and do it while really noticing what's happening in your body. Are you restless? Rushing to get it over with? Feeling physically uncomfortable? Take a breath and see if you can slow down and match your internal energy to what the task actually requires (which is usually pretty calm and steady). Notice if slowing down and matching the energy makes it less painful. I'd love to hear what you discover.
Takeaways
Boredom for ADHD brains is often actually dysregulation showing up as physical discomfort - tension, restlessness, that crawling-out-of-your-skin feeling
The real issue is a mismatch: your internal state is heightened (fight or flight) but the task requires calm, steady action
For dysregulated ADHD brains, stillness and calm can feel threatening instead of soothing
Regulation isn't about forcing focus - it's about shifting your internal state so the task doesn't feel like a threat
We confuse dysregulation with excitement, but that "excitement" is really just stress chemistry (cortisol and adrenaline)
A regulated life gives you real free time, actual relaxation, and better self-esteem - way more exciting than chaos
When you're uncomfortable during a task, it's usually because your system has revved up and started rushing
Sometimes boredom is a signal that something needs to change, but often we're calling dysregulation "boredom" and avoiding things we actually want to get done
00:00 Understanding Overstimulation and Dysregulation 10:49 Coping with Overstimulation 24:16 Long-term Regulation Strategies
Summary
In this episode of the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast, we dive into the concepts of overstimulation and dysregulation for ADHDers. I explain the differences of overstimulation and dysregulation and where they overlap. It's important to understand these two concepts so you can make the best decisions in how to cope. Dealing with the immediacy of overstimulation and long term dysregulation will improve your quality of life 100 fold!
Takeaways
Overstimulation is a state where the brain receives too much sensory information.
Dysregulation occurs when the nervous system is imbalanced, often stuck in fight or flight mode.
Dysregulation can make individuals more sensitive to overstimulation.
Understanding the difference between overstimulation and dysregulation is crucial for effective coping.
You deserve to have a life that's easier and more enjoyable.
00:00 Understanding the Fight or Flight Response 03:24 The Impact of Chronic Stress on Consumption 09:14 Balancing Consumption and Creation 14:35 Finding Fulfillment Through Creation
Summary
In this episode I explore the effects of the fight or flight response on consumption behaviors. I discuss how these stress responses lead to overconsumption of food, goods, and content as a means of coping. I share the importance of balancing consumption with creation to foster well-being and self-regulation. We wrap this episode encouraging you to reflect on your consumption habits.
Takeaways
Overconsumption is often a coping mechanism for dysregulation.
Dopamine-seeking behavior can lead to unhealthy consumption patterns.
Balancing consumption with creation is crucial for mental health.
Creation fosters a sense of purpose and self-esteem.
00:00 Understanding the Fawn Response in ADHD 02:59 The Impact of Survival Mode on Relationships 07:07 Breaking Free from the Fawn Response 12:11 Practical Strategies to Overcome People-Pleasing 19:16 Embracing Vulnerability and Taking Up Space
Summary
In this episode of the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast, I explore the often-overlooked fawn response in survival mode. I discuss how this response manifests in behaviors like people-pleasing and avoiding conflict, and how to recognize and address these patterns for regulation and increased executive functioning. I go over practical strategies for you to break free from the fawn response, advocate for yourself, and foster genuine connections with others.
Takeaways
Fawn is a response to feeling unsafe and is often overlooked.
Being in survival mode can lead to people-pleasing behaviors.
Setting boundaries is essential for regulation
Asking for help is a crucial step in overcoming the fawn response.
Taking up space and expressing needs creates connections.
Practicing vulnerability can lead to stronger relationships.
It's safe to say no and prioritize your own needs.
00:00 Understanding ADHD and Rest 00:49 The Impact of Dysregulation on Enjoyment 04:26 Chronic Fight or Flight and Its Effects 07:44 Challenging Thoughts and Beliefs 11:08 Nervous System Regulation Strategies 13:56 All or Nothing Thinking in Rest 16:35 Finding Balance in Rest and Productivity 19:30 Transitioning Between Tasks 25:51 Overcoming Barriers to Rest
Summary
In this episode of the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast, I dive into rest and ADHD, exploring the struggle between dysregulation and the ability to relax. I get into how external factors often get blamed for difficulties in resting, while the real issues may lie within our thoughts, beliefs, and nervous system regulation. I talk about how to challenge all-or-nothing thinking, the importance of finding balance in daily life, and practical strategies for achieving a more regulated state that allows for genuine enjoyment and rest.
Takeaways
Rest is often hard for those with ADHD due to dysregulation.
Chronic fight or flight states hinder relaxation.
External factors are not the sole cause of our inability to rest.
Nervous system regulation is crucial for relaxation.
Slowing down can help manage dysregulation.
All or nothing thinking can prevent effective rest.
Regulated rest is about balance, not extremes.
Rest should be integrated into daily life, not seen as a reward.
00:00 Understanding ADHD Regulation 05:25 Dysregulation and Emotional Responses 08:39 The Impact of Fight or Flight on ADHD 11:30 The Theory of ADHD Regulation 14:32 The Dysregulation Cycle 17:16 Finding Balance in Regulation 20:17 Three Types of Regulation 23:07 The Path to a Regulated Life
Summary
In this episode of the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast, I discuss the complexities of ADHD regulation, diving into the dysregulation cycle and the impact of being in a constant state of fight or flight. I share the need for a three prong approach that includes nervous system regulation, cognitive restructuring, and behavioral changes to achieve lasting change.
Takeaways
ADHD regulation involves more than just nervous system regulation.
Emotional dysregulation is often a symptom of a system in fight or flight.
Understanding the dysregulation cycle is crucial for change.
Working on your thinking and beliefs can help alleviate dysregulation.
Regulation work is a gentle but long-term process.
00:00 Introduction to ADHD and Food Relationships 04:29 Understanding Unhealthy Relationships with Food 09:47 My Personal Journey with Food and ADHD 15:58 Principles of Intuitive Eating 21:36 The Role of Dysregulation in Eating Habits 24:36 Workshop Announcement!!
Summary
In this episode of the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast, I discuss the complex relationship between ADHD and food. I dive into the challenges faced by ADHDers regarding their eating habits, including unhealthy relationships with food, binge eating, and the impact of dysregulation. I share my personal journey from dieting to intuitive eating and how you can use intuitive eating and regulation to begin building a more balanced and healthy relationship with food.
Takeaways
ADHD can significantly impact your relationship with food.
Many individuals with ADHD struggle with binge eating and dysregulation.
A healthy relationship with food involves nourishment and enjoyment, not punishment.
Intuitive eating can help create balance in eating habits.
Ditching diet culture is essential for a healthy food relationship.
No foods should be labeled as good or bad to avoid moral judgments.
Regular eating can help regulate emotions and prevent binge eating.
00:00 Understanding Negative Self-Talk in ADHD 04:00 The Impact of Negative Self-Talk on Regulation 07:26 Shifting from Negative to Neutral Self-Talk 12:01 Learning from Mistakes and Reflection 16:51 Embracing a Kinder Inner Dialogue
Summary
In this episode of the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast, I discuss the pervasive negative self-talk among ADHDers. I explore the reasons behind this, and share how it stems from a dysregulated state and serves as a misguided defense mechanism. I provide practical strategies for you to shift your mindset from negative self-talk to a more neutral perspective, encouraging self-compassion and reflection on mistakes without harsh judgment. The conversation highlights the importance of awareness and the need to create a positive mindset to improve overall well-being and reduce ADHD symptoms.
Takeaways
Most ADHDers experience a lot of negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk serves as a misguided motivator.
You are safe without negative self-talk.
Shifting to neutral thinking can help reduce self-criticism.
Curiosity about mistakes leads to better understanding.
You deserve to live a life that's enjoyable and easier.
Negative self-talk hinders personal growth and happiness.
00:00 Understanding ADHD and Money 02:16 Survival Mode and Short-Term Thinking 03:39 Shopping as a Coping Mechanism 10:27 The Rush and Its Impact on Spending 13:17 Dysregulation and Financial Avoidance 18:29 Facing Financial Discomfort 23:44 Balancing Short-Term and Long-Term Goals
Summary
In this episode of the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast, I discuss the complex relationship between ADHD and money management from a dysregulation lens. I explore how ADHD (particularly dysregulated ADHD) can lead to impulsive spending, avoidance of financial responsibilities, and the impact of survival mode on long-term financial planning. We are talking about why money can be hard and what we can do to make it better.
Takeaways
ADHD can complicate money management due to impulsivity.
Survival mode affects our ability to think long-term about finances.
Shopping can provide temporary relief from dysregulation.
Rushing leads to poor financial decisions and increased spending.
Avoidance of financial responsibilities can create a cycle of shame.
Slowing down can lead to more thoughtful spending decisions.
Urgent purchases often indicate dysregulation.
Balancing short-term enjoyment with long-term goals is crucial.
Mindfulness and regulation are key to improving financial health.
00:00 Understanding Dysregulation in ADHD 07:21 The Three Layers of Regulation 19:27 Shifting from Scarcity to Abundance 28:12 The Importance of Relaxation
Summary
In this episode, we explore the connection between dysregulation and ADHD, emphasizing the importance of addressing both the nervous system and belief systems to improve overall well-being. I dive into common beliefs that contribute to dysregulation, such as "I' m behind and I need to catch up", and offers strategies for shifting to more regulating beliefs.
Takeaways
ADHDers often experience chronic fight or flight due to dysregulation.
Dysregulation can exacerbate ADHD symptoms, making them harder to manage.
There are three layers of regulation: nervous system, thoughts and beliefs, and behavior.
Shifting beliefs can lead to better regulation and improved functioning.
The idea of being 'done' is a myth; life is ongoing.
Scarcity mindset can lead to feelings of desperation and overwhelm.
The dangling carrot philosophy keeps individuals in a cycle of stress.
00:00 External Regulation Tools for ADHD 03:45 Slowing Down Household Dynamics 07:01 The Power of a Calendar 09:43 Managing Social Media and Scrolling 13:28 The Importance of Breaks 16:58 Implementing Changes Gradually
Summary
In this episode, I dive into 6 external tools and strategies for managing ADHD, focusing on how to create a more regulated environment. I emphasize the importance of slowing down schedules, simplifying household dynamics, utilizing calendars effectively, managing social media use, listening to one's body for breaks, and implementing changes gradually. I share personal experiences and practical tips to help you find balance and regulation through external supports and strategies.
Takeaways
External regulation tools can support internal regulation.
Slowing down your schedule can prevent dysregulation.
Simplifying household dynamics can create a calmer environment.
Using a calendar is essential for managing ADHD effectively.
Social media scrolling can exacerbate dysregulation.
Taking breaks is crucial for maintaining mental health.
Implementing changes gradually leads to better long-term results.
00:00 Introduction and Dysregulation Quiz 01:00 Beliefs Are the Roots of the Tree 03:00 The "I'm Behind, I Need to Catch Up" Belief 05:00 What Are Belief Schemas? 07:00 Common ADHD Dysregulated Beliefs 09:00 Perfectionism as a Hidden Belief System 11:00 Step 1 - Name It, Don't Shame It 12:00 Step 2 - Connect Body and Belief Work 14:00 Step 3 - Update Your Schema Over Time 16:00 Bringing It Back to Reality vs. Potential 18:00 You're Rewriting Your Brain's Story 20:00 Noticing When Beliefs Don't Make Sense
Summary
In this episode, I dive into belief schemas - the deep, often subconscious belief systems that keep us dysregulated even when we're working on physical regulation. I explain how beliefs like "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," and "something bad will happen if I relax" were formed during childhood (often through the friction of being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world) and continue to trigger our nervous system into fight or flight. Using powerful examples like rushing to a massage appointment or dragging your child home from school for no logical reason, I demonstrate how these beliefs run like software in the background, keeping us stuck in panic, perfectionism, and avoidance. This episode teaches you the three steps to work with dysregulated beliefs: name it without shame, connect the body work with belief work, and update your schema to match your adult reality.
Action Step:
This week, notice when you feel rushed, panicked, or pressured. Pause and ask yourself: "What belief is underneath this feeling right now?" Look for thoughts like "I'm behind," "There's not enough time," "I should be further along," or "Something bad will happen if I stop." Simply bringing awareness to these beliefs is the first powerful step in changing them.
Takeaways
Regulation isn't just nervous system work - beliefs and thoughts need regulation too.
Belief schemas are the subconscious lens through which we interpret the world.
Many ADHD belief systems were formed in childhood from being misunderstood and constantly corrected.
Common dysregulated beliefs include: "I'm behind, I need to catch up," "I can't trust myself," "If I'm not achieving, I'm failing," and "Something bad will happen if I relax."
These beliefs trigger the nervous system into dysregulation, even when nothing dangerous is happening.
The belief "I'm behind" often creates paralysis rather than productivity - it backfires.
Perfectionism can be hidden - your life may look far from perfect, but the belief system is still running underneath.
The three steps: Name it (awareness), connect body and belief work together, and update your schema over time.
You have more autonomy as an adult than your internal system realizes - updating this is crucial.
Living in "potential" (shoulds, judgments) versus reality keeps you stuck and powerless.
There's never a logical reason to rush - notice when you're rushing for no reason at all.
Thought and belief regulation brings you back into your power and the present moment.
00:00 Understanding Prioritization and Executive Dysfunction 05:42 Dysregulation and the Challenge of Prioritization 14:07 Accepting Consequences of Prioritization 19:20 The Importance of Decision-Making 28:41 Regulation as the Key to Effective Prioritization
Summary
In this episode of the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast, I explore the complexities of prioritization, particularly for us with ADHD. I highlight the role of dysregulation in decision-making and the necessity of accepting the consequences of our choices. By understanding the interplay between prioritization and regulation, I encourage you to reflect on your decision-making processes and embrace a more regulated and grounded approach to prioritization.
Takeaways
Prioritization is an action, not just a thought process.
Dysregulation can make it difficult to prioritize effectively.
Accepting the consequences of choices is crucial for prioritization.
Everything we prioritize comes with a sacrifice.
It's important to recognize that there is no 'right' answer in prioritization.
Making decisions is more valuable than seeking the perfect choice.
Dysfunctional thinking can lead to paralysis in decision-making.
Regulation is key to overcoming prioritization challenges.
Understanding the cause and effect of choices can aid in prioritization.
Digging deeper into our beliefs can unlock better prioritization strategies.
00:00 Jenna's Journey with ADHD and Regulation 05:11 The Impact of Postpartum on ADHD 09:42 The Cycle of Dysregulation and ADHD 12:07 The Shift to Regulation as a Solution 15:21 Daily Life Transformation Through Regulation 16:15 Entrepreneurial Growth and Regulation 25:13 The Importance of Being Present 28:09 Taking Action and Execution in Regulation
Summary
In this episode, I share my personal journey with ADHD and how regulation techniques have transformed my life. I discuss the struggles I faced, particularly during postpartum, and how understanding ADHD led me to explore regulation as a coping strategy. I dive into the importance of being present and taking small steps in both daily life and entrepreneurial endeavors.
Takeaways
Regulation work has been the key to my success with ADHD.
ADHD can manifest in various ways, including feelings of overwhelm and depression.
Postpartum experiences can significantly impact ADHD.
Dysregulation often leads to a cycle of overwhelm and crash.
Being present in daily life reduces feelings of overwhelm.
Entrepreneurial success can be achieved through a regulated approach.
Taking small, consistent steps is crucial for growth and success.
Rushing to achieve goals can lead to burnout and paralysis.
Execution of regulation strategies is more important than having many ideas.
00:00 Understanding Efficiency in ADHD 08:13 The Cycle of Survival Mode and Efficiency 14:50 Shifting from Efficiency to Sustainability 27:11 Rethinking Rushing and Efficiency
Summary
In this episode, I discuss the concept of ADHDers obsession with efficiency. I explore how the obsession with efficiency can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and frustration, particularly when in survival mode. We are talking about the importance of shifting focus from efficiency to sustainability, advocating for a more regulated approach to tasks that allows for gradual progress rather than perfectionism.
Takeaways
ADHDers often obsess over efficiency, which can be counterproductive.
Perfectionism about efficiency can hinder action.
Survival mode creates a cycle of start-stop behavior.
Focusing on sustainability is more beneficial than efficiency.
00:00 Exploring the Purpose of Life 10:00 Shifting Perspectives on Life 20:08 Finding Joy in Everyday Moments 28:20 Connecting with What Truly Matters
Summary
In this episode of the ADHD with Jenna Free podcast, we dive into the profound question of life's purpose, what is all this running around and list checking off even for?!?! I emphasize the importance of stepping out of survival mode to gain perspective on what truly matters in life. Because a dysregulated brain is a zoomed in brain. Some fun "homework" here - to reflect on your priorities and to find joy in everyday experiences. I am here to advocate for a mindful approach to life that fosters connection and fulfillment - through The ADHD Reset!
Takeaways
The purpose of life is not just about productivity.
Survival mode limits our perspective on what matters.
We often prioritize tasks over meaningful connections.
Mindfulness can help us enjoy everyday moments.
Being present can enhance our quality of life.
Life's challenges shouldn't make us rush through it.
10: How to Regulate Your ADHD Nervous System During Hard Times
02 Jun 2025
00:21:00
When something genuinely hard happens, your ADHD nervous system makes it harder. Because a dysregulated brain is working against the exact thinking you need most. This episode is for anyone with ADHD who is in the middle of a hard season and can't figure out why regulation feels so out of reach.
I get into why your brain might actually be holding onto the dysregulation, including the guilt of feeling calm when you think you shouldn't be, what ADHD survival mode is for and why it's useless for most modern problems, and how fighting reality keeps your prefrontal cortex offline when you need it to solve things. Regulation won't take the hard away. But it can take the layer of ADHD fight-or-flight response off the top so you can actually move.
00:00 - Regulating Through Big Life Events vs. Everyday ADHD
Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram!
Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group!
9: ADHD and Dopamine: Why Quick Fixes Make You Feel Worse
26 May 2025
00:26:47
You reach for your phone when you're uncomfortable, spend more than you planned, and chase the next thing that might finally feel good. Then the feeling fades faster than it used to, and you're back where you started. If that cycle is getting worse, this episode is for you. ADHD and dopamine are connected in a way that goes well beyond "just get more dopamine." I break down why quick hits from scrolling, spending, and caffeine leave your brain crashing lower than before you started, how ADHD survival mode traps you in short-term thinking, and what it looks like to naturally boost dopamine in a way that builds over time. This episode reframes what it means to feel good with ADHD, and why meaning and growth get you further than pleasure ever will. 01:58 – Why Quick Dopamine Hits Make ADHD Symptoms Worse 04:39 – ADHD Survival Mode and the Dopamine Crash Cycle 10:30 – Hedonia vs. Eudaimonia: Two Ways to Pursue Dopamine 13:31 – How to Naturally Boost Dopamine With ADHD 19:25 – Building a Dopamine Foundation That Lasts Check out the full show notes and other resources at https://jennafree.com/blog/adhd-and-dopamine-why-quick-hits-make-you-feel-worseLet's stay connected! You can get your new and improved free ADHD Reset Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram! Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group!
8: Stop Chasing ADHD Quick Fixes: A Better Way to Manage ADHD
19 May 2025
00:29:49
You've tried every calendar, app, and ADHD tip you can find, and you're still stuck in the same loop. If the band-aid approach to ADHD management has stopped working for you, this episode is for you. There are two approaches to managing ADHD: the band-aid approach, where you keep reaching for the next external tool, and the transformational approach, where you do the internal regulation work that makes the tools actually stick. I'll walk you through why band aids fall off when you're dysregulated, why ADHD is an implementation problem more than an information problem, and how to tell when your learning has tipped into information hoarding. We'll also get into the three areas of regulation that make up the ADHD reset, and why nervous system work on its own won't get you there. 00:00 – Two Approaches to ADHD Management: Band Aid vs. Transformation 04:56 – Why Band Aids Fail When You're in ADHD Survival Mode 08:23 – Signs You're Chasing a Band-Aid Fix Without Realizing It 13:54 – ADHD Information Overload and the Implementation Problem 19:05 – How Information Hoarding Soothes Dysregulation and Keeps You Stuck 23:17 – The Three Areas of Regulation Behind the ADHD Reset Check out the full show notes and other resources at https://jennafree.com/blog/manage-adhd-quick-fixesLet's stay connected! You can get your new and improved free ADHD Reset Guide here - adhdwithjennafree.com/adhdguide Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram! Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group!
7: ADHD Phone Addiction and How Your Device is Changing Your Brain
12 May 2025
00:32:40
You know your phone is a problem, but you can't put it down. If you've tried every screen time limit and app restriction and you're still losing hours to the scroll, this episode is for you.
ADHD phone addiction runs deeper than most people realize. Your phone has been designed to exploit a dysregulated nervous system, and for the ADHD brain, that's a particularly unfair fight. I'll walk you through why our brains are especially vulnerable to scrolling, what it's doing to your attention span and capacity, and how to start creating real distance from your phone without shame, all-or-nothing thinking, or giving up the things you enjoy.
00:00 – ADHD Phone Addiction and the Dysregulated Nervous System
03:02 – The Alternative Effect: How Your Phone Lowers Your Capacity
06:48 – Radical Approaches to Separating Your Technology
13:19 – Apps and Flexible Strategies to Reduce Screen Time
19:23 – The Entertainment Ladder and Rebuilding Your Attention Span
Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram!
Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group!
6: Why ADHD Perfectionism Is a Defense Mechanism
05 May 2025
00:28:24
You're not a perfectionist because you have high standards. You're a perfectionist because your nervous system thinks it's keeping you safe. If you've been stuck, depleted, and further behind despite working so hard, this episode is for you.
ADHD perfectionism is a defense mechanism rooted in fight-or-flight, and once you see it that way, you can actually start to change it. I'll walk you through where it comes from, what it's costing you, and how dropping it doesn't mean doing less. It means finally getting more done.
00:00 – ADHD Perfectionism as a Defense Mechanism
03:54 – Fear of Failure, Rejection Sensitivity, and Impossible Standards
10:09 – How ADHD Perfectionism Leads to Paralysis and Avoidance
16:10 – Self-Criticism, Low Self-Esteem, and the Need for Control
22:52 – How to Challenge ADHD Perfectionism and Nervous System Dysregulation
Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram!
Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group!
5: How ADHD Acceptance Creates Change, Not Complacency
28 Apr 2025
00:34:02
You're sitting on the couch, the house is a mess, your brain won't stop telling you to do something about it, and yet you can't move. If you've ever pushed your way toward change and wondered why nothing ever sticks, this episode is for you.
ADHD acceptance gets a bad rap. Most of us assume it means deciding the mess is fine, and giving up on anything ever looking different. It doesn't. I'm going to walk you through what acceptance means, why the shame spiral of "I should be doing better" keeps you more stuck than anything else, and how working with your present reality, rather than against it, is what creates change.
00:00 – ADHD Acceptance: What It Means
03:53 – Why Fighting Reality Keeps You Stuck in ADHD Paralysis
10:36 – ADHD Regulation and the Power of the Present Moment
17:00 – How ADHD Dysregulation Drains Your Energy
24:35 – Accepting Reality as the Starting Point for ADHD Healing
00:00 Introduction to Maladaptive Regulation 01:00 What is Maladaptive Regulation? 03:00 Why Self-Compassion Matters 04:00 The Calendar Research Trap Example 06:00 The Scroll and Clean Cycles 08:00 Compulsive vs. Conscious Choices 09:00 Who's Driving Your Regulation Ship? 11:00 Survival Mode vs. Long-Term Goals 13:00 You're Not Actually in Danger 15:00 Bringing Patterns Into Consciousness 17:00 The Three Pieces - Body, Brain, Behavior 19:00 Implementation Over Information 21:00 What is Your Body Protecting You From? 23:00 Finding Real Safety and Regulation
Summary
In this episode, I explore maladaptive regulation - those automatic things we do that temporarily soothe us but ultimately keep us stuck in dysregulation. I explain how scrolling, cleaning before starting work, researching the "perfect" calendar system, and even rumination are your nervous system's unconscious attempts to regulate, not character flaws or laziness. When we leave regulation to our subconscious and nervous system, they prioritize immediate survival over long-term goals, keeping us in circles rather than moving forward. Using powerful examples (like a client who spent months researching calendars instead of using one, or buying a $950 calendar system that never got used), I demonstrate how these patterns work and why awareness is the critical first step. This episode teaches you how to shift from unconscious maladaptive regulation to intentional regulation by working with your body, brain, and behavior.
Action Step
The next time you catch yourself in a maladaptive regulation pattern (scrolling, procrastinating, overthinking, etc.), pause and ask yourself: "What is my body trying to protect me from right now?" Notice any physical tension or discomfort. This simple question begins to shift you from automatic regulation to intentional regulation by bringing awareness to what's happening beneath the surface.
Takeaways
Maladaptive regulation is your system's unconscious attempt to feel safer, not a character flaw.
Common examples include scrolling, shopping, cleaning to avoid tasks, researching endlessly, rumination, and overcompensating.
When it's compulsive (you can't stop yourself), that's maladaptive regulation, not a conscious choice.
Your subconscious and nervous system only care about immediate survival, not long-term goals.
These strategies work in the short term but create long-term pain and keep you stuck in circles.
The pattern is: temporary relief → guilt/shame → deeper dysregulation.
Over 80% of ADHDers feel self-compassion is a "cop out" - but it's actually essential for regulation.
You're likely not in actual danger, but your system acts as if you are (survival mode).
Real regulation requires the conscious mind to "take the wheel" from automatic patterns.
The three pieces of intentional regulation: Body (physical interruption), Brain (cognitive reframe), Behavior (finding balance).
The power is in implementation, not collecting more information (which itself can be maladaptive regulation).
Awareness of maladaptive regulation patterns is always the first critical step.
4: What's Behind Your ADHD and Emotional Dysregulation Symptoms
21 Apr 2025
00:39:00
You snap at someone you love over something small, or cry at dinner and don't know why. You're at your limit before the day has barely started, and one more thing sends you completely over the edge. If emotional dysregulation feels like your biggest ADHD struggle, this episode is for you.
I'm going to break down why ADHD and emotional dysregulation are so deeply connected, how fight or flight keeps your nervous system full before anything even happens, and why your reactions make a lot more sense than you've been told. When you understand what's underneath, everything starts to look different.
Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram!
Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group!
3: Free Your ADHD Motivation from Fear and Urgency
14 Apr 2025
00:28:50
You're doing everything you're supposed to do, and you're still exhausted, still running on urgency and caffeine. If motivation only shows up when the pressure is unbearable, this episode explains why.
I'm breaking down the connection between ADHD fight or flight, and motivation, why last-minute scrambling isn't a character flaw, and what becomes possible as your nervous system starts to regulate.
00:33 – Understanding Fight or Flight in ADHD
02:48 – Fear, Urgency, Guilt: Common ADHD Motivators
07:32 – Switching to Sustainable Pull Motivators
14:17 – Why State Changes Precede Behavior Changes
Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram!
Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group!
2: How to Stop ADHD Dysregulation from Running Your Life
07 Apr 2025
00:29:08
You know that regulation is supposed to help. You've tried yoga, bought a notebook and started journaling, and practiced breathing. But if you're still white-knuckling it through most days, the approach might be missing something.
In this episode, I break down what in-the-moment nervous system regulation looks like for ADHDers, and why doing it as a to-do list task isn't enough to change your state of being. I walk you through how to spot your personal signs of ADHD dysregulation as they're happening, and how to interrupt them with tools simple enough to use in real life, not just in a yoga studio.
If you've been doing all the right things and still feel like you're running on empty, this is where the work actually starts.
Download the free ADHD Regulation Guide and start building real regulation into your everyday life.
01:05 – What Nervous System Regulation Actually Means for ADHDers
03:14 – How Chronic Fight or Flight Makes ADHD Symptoms Worse
09:33 – How to Identify Your Personal Signs of ADHD Dysregulation
12:05 – Why ADHD Negative Self Talk and Masking Are Defense Mechanisms
15:41 – Scrolling, Spending, and Skipping Self-Care: External Signs of Internal Dysregulation
20:54 – Simple In-the-Moment Tools to Interrupt Dysregulation
26:41 – What It Feels Like to Stop Burning Energy Just Existing
Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram!
Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group!
1: Why ADHD Fight or Flight Is Keeping You Stuck (Not Your Brain)
07 Apr 2025
00:33:33
You know exactly what you need to do. And yet you can't make yourself start. Then the panic kicks in, you scramble, you crash, and tomorrow it starts all over again. If that cycle feels like your default, this episode is for you.
I'm introducing my core approach to ADHD: that chronic nervous system dysregulation, not just your brain wiring, is what's driving the paralysis, overwhelm, and burnout you keep running into. And unlike your ADHD diagnosis, dysregulation is something that can change.
If you've tried every tip, tool, and system and you're still ending up stuck, this is the reframe you've been missing.
Download the free ADHD Regulation Guide and start identifying and interrupting dysregulation today.
00:38 – The Real Reason ADHD Fight or Flight Keeps You Stuck
02:45 – Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn: How Survival Mode Shows Up in Daily Life
09:50 – Why Band-Aid Strategies Make ADHD Nervous System Dysregulation Worse
16:56 – What Nervous System Regulation Looks Like for Adults with ADHD
Want more thriving with ADHD? Come hang out with me on Instagram!
Get out of paralysis, be more productive, and enjoy your life again! Join an upcoming group!
Trailer | ADHD with Jenna Free
11 Mar 2025
00:01:28
When you're tired of trying the latest ADHD tips and tricks it's time to do some deeper work. This is what we do here. No more rushing to get everything over with so you can go lay down. We are here to regulate and start truly living (and enjoying) your life. Through Regulation work and 'The ADHD Reset' we will change the way you experience life with ADHD (think more fun and less dread).
EP. 30: The ADHD Self-Sabotage Cycle - The Fear That Stops You From Trying | ADHD with Jenna Free
00:00 Introduction to Vulnerability and ADHD 01:00 What Vulnerability Really Means 03:00 Personal Example - Group Launch Protection 05:00 Subconscious Self-Protection Mechanisms 07:00 Why Vulnerability Feels Dangerous 09:00 How This Shows Up in Different Life Areas 11:00 The Gift of Being Vulnerable 13:00 Getting Your Hopes Up vs. Playing It Safe 15:00 Making Vulnerability Feel Safer 17:00 Reflection Questions and Acting Class Example 20:00 Taking Small Steps Forward
Summary
In this episode, I explore the often-overlooked connection between ADHD, dysregulation, and our ability to be vulnerable. I explain how vulnerability isn't just about sharing feelings with others - it's about the willingness to try things without guarantees, to be seen trying, to risk disappointment. When we're in fight or flight, our nervous system confuses emotional risk with physical danger, causing us to back away from the very things we want most. Using personal examples (including my own experience of cutting a group launch short to avoid potential disappointment), I demonstrate how dysregulation makes us pump the brakes on our goals, relationships, and dreams - not consciously, but as a self-protection mechanism. This episode offers practical ways to start building safety around vulnerability so you can actually go for what you want in life.
Action Step:
Notice one place this week where you're backing off from what you really want because it feels too vulnerable. Ask yourself: Is this dangerous or just uncomfortable? Then make one tiny step forward - go to one yoga class, mention your interest in a promotion once, or try something new without committing fully. The goal is to get evidence that it's safe to try, even if the outcome is uncertain.
Takeaways
Vulnerability means being willing to be seen, take emotional risks, and try without guarantees.
When dysregulated, even admitting to yourself that you want something can feel too scary.
Our nervous system confuses emotional risk (disappointment, embarrassment) with physical danger.
We often pump the brakes on our goals subconsciously to avoid potential disappointment.
This shows up everywhere - work, relationships, hobbies, self-care, and even regulation work itself.
The real risk of vulnerability is just uncomfortable feelings, not actual danger.
"Don't get your hopes up" is a dysregulated response that actually decreases your chances of success.
You miss 100% of the shots you don't take - backing off guarantees failure.
Being vulnerable with yourself (not just others) is crucial for moving forward in life.
Small exposures to vulnerability build evidence that it's safe to try and want things.
All feelings, including disappointment and embarrassment, are safe to feel.
Living without the ability to be vulnerable keeps you trapped and limits your life significantly.
00:00 ADHD Groups Are Open - Join Now 01:00 What is Executive Functioning? 02:00 Self-Regulation and Daily Life Management 04:00 Executive Functioning as Goal-Directed Action 05:00 Can You Increase Executive Functioning? 07:00 The Blindfold Analogy 09:00 Perception Changes Everything 11:00 The Cost of Chronic Fight or Flight 13:00 Client Success Story - PhD Dissertation 15:00 The Power of Believing Change is Possible 16:00 Action Step - Shifting Your Perception 19:00 Working Through Resistance
Summary
In this episode, I dive deep into executive functioning - what it is, why ADHDers struggle with it, and most importantly, whether you can actually improve it. I explain how being in chronic fight or flight dramatically impairs executive functioning by redirecting blood flow away from your prefrontal cortex. Using real client examples, I demonstrate how regulation work can dramatically increase your ability to focus, plan, and execute tasks. I share a powerful action step about shifting your perception from seeing a "brick wall" of tasks to a "brick path" you can take one step at a time. This episode challenges the belief that executive dysfunction is permanent and shows you exactly why regulation work is the key to unlocking your true cognitive capacity.
Action Step:
Practice shifting your perception this week. When you notice feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list or the day ahead (the "brick wall"), mentally lay it down as a "brick path." Identify just the one next step in front of you right now. Focus only on that present moment action, taking it one brick at a time. This trains your brain to think linearly, reduces overwhelm, and signals safety to your nervous system.
Takeaways
Executive functioning is the management system of your brain that coordinates thoughts and behaviors toward goals.
Key components include working memory, cognitive flexibility, and impulse control.
Fight or flight significantly impairs executive functioning by redirecting blood flow from the prefrontal cortex.
You likely don't know your true executive functioning capacity because you've been dysregulated since childhood.
Getting out of fight or flight removes the dampening effect on your cognitive abilities.
Your perception of tasks changes dramatically when dysregulated - everything feels overwhelming.
Being in chronic fight or flight means suffering all the negative effects without actual danger.
Real example: A client finished her PhD dissertation in 4 months after 2 years of being stuck.
Believing improvement is possible is the first critical step to making progress.
You can only take action in the present moment - hypervigilance about future steps is counterproductive.
Resistance to regulation work is normal and comes from your dysregulated system trying to protect you.
00:01 Introduction to Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria 02:00 The Bad Review and Initial Reaction 04:00 Understanding the Physical Response 06:00 Reactive vs. Responsive Thinking 08:00 Step-by-Step Regulation Process 10:00 Physical Regulation Techniques 12:00 Cognitive Restructuring and Taking Feedback 14:00 Information vs. Implementation Balance 17:00 Using Criticism Constructively 19:00 The Gift of Taking Feedback 21:00 Final Thoughts and Action Steps
Summary
In this episode, I dive into rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) - that debilitating feeling when criticism makes you want to run away or quit everything. Using a recent podcast review as a real-time example, I walk through exactly how dysregulation shows up physically and mentally when facing criticism, and more importantly, how to regulate through it. I share the specific steps I used to go from heart-racing panic to productive action, demonstrating how regulation allows us to take in valid feedback instead of staying defensive. This episode includes a detailed action plan for managing RSD episodes.
Action Steps for Managing Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria:
Observe the dysregulation - Notice physical symptoms (racing heart, clenched stomach, tense shoulders) and mental reactions (all-or-nothing thinking, panic responses)
Regulate physically - Take deep breaths, consciously relax your body, remind yourself "I'm safe, this isn't dangerous"
Shift your thinking - Challenge catastrophic thoughts, move from reactive to responsive mode
Assess the feedback - Once calm, objectively evaluate if there's valid insight to take from the criticism
Take productive action - Use the feedback constructively rather than defensively
Takeaways
Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is dysregulation triggered by perceived criticism or rejection.
The ADHD brain tends to focus more on negative feedback than positive reviews.
Physical symptoms include racing heart, stomach clenching, and muscle tension.
Dysregulation causes cognitive distortions and reactive rather than thoughtful responses.
Regulation takes practice - your nervous system needs training like building muscle.
Being able to take feedback non-defensively is a superpower for growth and success.
You don't need more information, you need consistent implementation of basics.
It's safe to be imperfect and use criticism as a tool for improvement.
The goal is responding thoughtfully rather than reacting emotionally.
Taking feedback well allows you to learn, grow, and improve continuously.
00:00 Introduction to Less is More Philosophy 01:00 The More is More Dysregulated Mindset 02:00 Trying to Do It All vs. Focused Action 03:00 Physical Items and Hoarding Tendencies 05:00 Information and Knowledge Overload 07:00 Prioritization and Focus Strategies 08:00 ADHD Tools and Overcompensation 10:00 Purpose Over Perfectionism 12:00 Abundance vs. Scarcity Mindset 14:00 Episode Length and Content Value
Summary
In this episode, I explore the concept of "less is more" for ADHDers, particularly how dysregulation leads to a "more is more" mindset that actually creates more problems. I discuss how being in fight or flight mode causes us to believe we need more calendars, more lists, more information, and more of everything to feel safe. I cover practical areas where streamlining can help: physical possessions, information consumption, prioritization, ADHD tools, task focus, and developing an abundance mindset. This episode also marks the transition to audio-only format as an example of the less is more philosophy in action.
Takeaways
Dysregulation causes a "more is more" mindset rooted in scarcity and fear.
Physical hoarding and keeping items "just in case" stems from feeling unsafe.
Information overload prevents implementation and creates overwhelm.
Having too many priorities means having no real priorities.
Multiple ADHD tools often become counterproductive overcompensation.
Focusing on task purpose prevents getting stuck in perfectionism.
True abundance mindset recognizes that "enough" already exists.
Streamlining creates space for better focus and execution.
Less work can often produce better results when done intentionally.
Challenging the "more is more" impulse helps regulate the nervous system.
00:00 Understanding Dysregulation and Its Components 05:02 The Role of the Conscious Mind 12:37 Exploring the Subconscious Mind 14:32 The Nervous System's Impact on Regulation 21:54 Aligning the Three Parts for Regulation
Summary
In this episode of ADHD with Jenna Free, we discuss the intricate relationship between the conscious mind, subconscious mind, and nervous system in the context of dysregulation, particularly for individuals with ADHD. I explain how these three components can often be in conflict, leading to feelings of being stuck or overwhelmed. I emphasize the importance of aligning these parts to achieve emotional regulation and personal growth, providing insights into how to navigate this complex journey.
Takeaways
Dysregulation can feel like an internal tug of war.
The conscious mind is aware of the need for change.
The subconscious holds ingrained beliefs that can hinder progress.
The nervous system reacts automatically to perceived threats.
Aligning the conscious, subconscious, and nervous system is crucial for regulation.
Understanding the invisible barriers is the first step to overcoming them.
It's normal to feel resistance when trying to slow down.
Creating new belief systems is essential for personal growth.
Dysregulated behavior often stems from underlying beliefs.
Patience and grace are necessary in the journey towards regulation.
00:00 Understanding Rushing in ADHD 08:50 The Three Levels of Rushing 18:23 Breaking the Cycle of Rushing
Summary
In this episode, I discuss the common trait of rushing among dysregulated ADHDers. I emphasize the importance of slowing down to improve executive functioning and offer practical strategies to interrupt the cycle of rushing (yes it's a cycle and we are trapped in it!) We go over the three levels of rushing—physical, mental, and impatience—and highlight the need for self-awareness and mindfulness in making changes. I'm excited to see what you notice if you choose to practice these shifts this week!
Takeaways
Rushing is a major issue for ADHDers (even though a lot of the time it can feel helpful).
It signals danger to the nervous system, causing dysregulation!
Rushing skews our perception of time and creates a scarcity mindset.
There are three levels of rushing: physical, mental, and impatience.
Challenging the belief of 'not enough time' is crucial.
You can achieve more by doing less when regulated.
Chapters 00:00 Introduction: How to Regulate For Real 01:00 Why Tips and Tricks Don't Actually Work 03:00 External vs Internal Regulation 05:00 Regulation Through Avoidance Isn't Real Regulation 07:00 Layer One: The Body (Nervous System Regulation) 09:00 Layer Two: The Mind (Thought and Belief Regulation) 11:00 Layer Three: Behavior (Balanced Action) 15:00 Why People Think Regulation Doesn't Work 18:00 You Don't Have to Do It Perfectly 20:00 What Real Change Looks Like 23:00 Start With the Foundation: Your Nervous System
Summary In this episode, I break down how to actually regulate for real - not with tips, tricks, or surface-level ADHD coping strategies, but with deep, internal work that changes how you function. If you've ever felt frustrated by hearing "just regulate" without knowing what that actually means, or if you've tried breathing exercises and meditation but nothing has fundamentally changed, this episode is for you. I explain why ADHD regulation has been oversimplified by wellness culture into surface-level fixes like bubble baths and rigid routines, and why that approach doesn't create lasting change. Real regulation is internal, not external - it's not about what you do, it's about how you do it. I walk through the three layers of the ADHD regulation method: body (nervous system regulation where you teach your body it's safe), mind (rewiring fear-based beliefs formed in survival mode), and behavior (shifting from extreme all-or-nothing patterns to balanced, sustainable action). I also address why people think regulation doesn't work - expecting instant results instead of gradual re-patterning, confusing calming down with becoming regulated, or stopping at just the nervous system piece without doing the thought and behavior work. This is not a quick fix. It takes time and repetition, just like going to the gym. But the time will pass anyway, and in a year you can either have an entirely new experience of life or continue the dysregulation cycle. I share my own journey and what regulation has done for my daily life, and give you the foundation to start with.
Action Step This week, start with the foundation: nervous system regulation. Throughout your day, notice the physical sensations telling you you're dysregulated - tense shoulders around your ears, holding your breath or shallow breathing, rushing around, or sitting in overwhelm and paralysis. When you catch yourself, interrupt it: slow down your walking, drop your shoulders, take a deep breath. You're "pretending" to be a regulated person (someone not being chased by a bear), and over time your nervous system will start to believe it's true. Don't expect one deep breath to fix everything - it's about repeatedly interrupting the pattern. Remember: to sleep, we first have to pretend to sleep. Same with regulation.
Takeaways
Real regulation is internal, not external - it's not about bubble baths, rigid routines, or perfect habits, it's about retraining your nervous system, thoughts, and behavior from the inside out
The three layers of ADHD regulation: body (teaching your nervous system you're safe), mind (rewiring fear-based beliefs like "I'm behind, I need to catch up"), and behavior (shifting from extreme all-or-nothing to balanced, consistent action)
External regulation (organizing your space, doing yoga, strict routines) is like sprinkles on icing - helpful but not the meat of the work
Regulation takes time and repetition, just like building muscle at the gym - one deep breath won't regulate you, just like one workout won't make you fit
You can only regulate in the present moment, and there's only ever one thing to do - interrupt the pattern when you notice it, then do it again, and again
Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Worrying What People Think 01:00 The Fawn Response: A Safety Mechanism 03:00 The Trap of External Regulation 05:00 It's Safe to Be Misunderstood 07:00 My Garbage Bag Story: Regulation in Action 09:00 How Fawn Costs Us Our Lives 11:00 The Fear No Longer Drives the Bus 13:00 Practice: Who Am I Trying to Keep Safe? 16:00 Building Freedom Through Tiny Moments 18:00 Their Dysregulation Doesn't Have to Be Mine
Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD people pleasing and the fawn response - why worrying what people think isn't about being nice, it's a nervous system safety response. If you've ever changed what you were going to do because of what someone might think (even a stranger), this is for you. For people with ADHD and chronic dysregulation, the fawn response makes us believe that keeping everyone happy, approved of, and not upset is what keeps us safe. When we've lived in fight or flight for years, our body reads conflict, judgment, or criticism as life-threatening danger - even though logically we know it's not. I explain how this people pleasing pattern is actually external regulation, where we try to control what other people think so we can feel calmer and safer. But here's the trap: when we worry what people think, we're not actually hearing them - we're hearing ourselves and reacting to imaginary opinions as if they're facts. I share a personal story about taking out the garbage with a plastic bag on my head (conditioner treatment) when construction workers were outside, and how I caught myself in the fawn response and chose to do it anyway to show my nervous system I'm safe. The fawn response costs us a lot - we live smaller, shape our lives around imaginary opinions, delay what we want, and let fear dictate our decisions. When we start regulating, we stop needing other people's approval to feel safe. We can handle being misunderstood, judged, or criticized because we know we're safe regardless. This episode gives you a practice to start breaking down these walls and building freedom through tiny moments of choosing what you want to do instead of what feels safest.
Action Step This week, catch yourself hesitating or about to change what you're doing because of what someone might think. Pause and ask: "Who am I trying to keep safe right now? What am I fearing?" Notice the specific worry - are you worried your coworker will think you're lazy if you take a break? That someone will judge you? Once you're aware, take one small step toward what you actually want to do. Push yourself just a little past that discomfort (not obliterating your comfort zone, just stretching it). Go grab that coffee, take that break, ask for that help. See if you can collect evidence that you're safe even when people might be thinking things about you. Remember: their potential thoughts are not dangerous. You are safe.
Takeaways
ADHD people pleasing isn't about being nice - it's the fawn response, a nervous system safety mechanism where your body believes keeping everyone happy is what keeps you safe
When we worry what people think, we're not hearing them - we're hearing ourselves and reacting to imaginary opinions as if they're facts
The fawn response costs us our lives - we live smaller, delay what we want, and let 10% (or way more) of our decisions be dictated by imaginary scenarios
Real regulation means the fear no longer drives the bus - you can handle being misunderstood, judged, or criticized because you trust you're safe regardless
Most people aren't thinking about you anyway - they're worried about what you think of them, and any judgment they do have is usually their dysregulation talking
Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Meds and Regulation - Do They Go Together? 02:00 What ADHD Medication Actually Does 04:00 The Gas vs The Steering Wheel Analogy 06:00 Medication is a Tool, Not the Foundation 08:00 What ADHD Meds Can and Can't Do 10:00 Medication Can Magnify Your Current State 13:00 Trial and Error is Normal (And Expected) 15:00 Possible Side Effects and Who Can't Take Meds 17:00 Where Regulation Work Fits In
Summary In this episode, I clarify my stance on ADHD medication and where it fits with regulation work. This isn't about whether you should or shouldn't take meds - that's deeply personal. But I want to give you context on what to expect and why both can work together beautifully. ADHD medication and regulation do two very different things. Medication is like gas in your tank - it helps with attention, impulsivity, working memory, and brain fog. But regulation provides the steering wheel, brakes, and pedals - it gives you the ability to actually maneuver with that energy. Medication doesn't regulate your nervous system, change fear-based beliefs, or get you out of fight or flight. I share results from a poll where the most common response about what meds help with was "I don't know" - which shows how important it is to get clear on what you want from medication. Medication can magnify the state you're in, so if you're dysregulated, stimulants might intensify that frantic energy. Whether meds work for you or not, regulation work should be the foundation - it helps every ADHDer with no side effects or downsides.
Action Step This week, if you're on ADHD medication, get really honest with yourself: What do I want from my medication? Is it doing what I want it to do? How do I actually feel on it - not just "am I more productive" but am I present, am I happy, am I enjoying my day, or am I just anxious and getting more paperwork done? You are the expert on how it feels in your body. If you don't love how you feel, it doesn't mean meds aren't right for you or that you don't have ADHD - it might mean you need a dosage change or different type. Talk to your doctor about it. And whether you're on meds or not, start or continue regulation work as your foundation - it's accessible to everyone and helps with or without medication.
Takeaways
ADHD medication and regulation work together - meds are like gas in the tank (performance enhancer for brain functions), regulation is the steering wheel, brakes, and pedals (ability to maneuver that energy)
Medication helps with attention, impulsivity, working memory, and brain fog, but it doesn't regulate your nervous system, change fear-based beliefs, or get you out of fight or flight
Medication can magnify the state you're in - if you're dysregulated, stimulants might intensify that frantic energy rather than help
Get clear on what you want from medication and whether it's actually doing that - you're the expert on how it feels in your body, not a chart or your doctor
Regulation work is the foundation that helps every ADHDer with no side effects or downsides - whether you take meds or not, regulation should be the base everything else builds on
Chapters 00:00 Introduction: ADHD, Aging, and Dysregulation 01:00 Why ADHD Symptoms Feel Worse as You Age 03:00 What Dysregulation Looks Like During Perimenopause and Menopause 05:00 Three Ways to Support Yourself as You Age 08:00 Aging, Appearance, and Dysregulation 12:00 The Society Piece: Pressure on Women 15:00 Celebrity Examples: Linda Hamilton and Justine Bateman 18:00 It's Safe to Age
Summary In this episode, I talk about why ADHD symptoms feel worse as you age - and it's not what you think. A big part of the ADHD aging conversation is hormones, perimenopause, and menopause. The ADHD brain relies heavily on estrogen for dopamine regulation, and when estrogen decreases, we become more dysregulated. A Harvard study showed that lowered estrogen equals an increased startle response - meaning we're more reactive, irritable, and emotionally flooded. This mimics what people call "worsening ADHD" but it's actually worsening dysregulation. This matters because if you think your ADHD is worse, you'll look for external tools, but what you actually need is regulation work. I walk through what dysregulation looks like during perimenopause and menopause (constantly on edge, quick to overwhelm, harder time focusing, sleep disruption) and share three ways to support yourself: regulation work (it takes longer but it's the anchor), radical permission for what you need (more rest, slowing down), and hormonal/medical support from your doctor. Then I dive into something that might get pushback: aging, appearance, and dysregulation. Dysregulated brains fear aging more because our nervous system sees every change as a threat. I share why I believe societal pressure plays a huge role in cosmetic procedures and anti-aging efforts, and how regulation changes our relationship with aging. I share examples from Linda Hamilton and Justine Bateman who've embraced aging confidently, and my own journey with cosmetic procedures I now regret that I did from dysregulation. The goal isn't to love aging, just to stop fearing it so much.
Action Step This week, notice if you're feeling like your ADHD symptoms are getting worse. Ask yourself: is this my ADHD getting worse, or am I more dysregulated right now? If you're in perimenopause, menopause, or experiencing hormonal changes, recognize that what you're experiencing is heightened dysregulation - not a worsening brain. Start or double down on regulation work. It might take longer and feel harder (like lifting heavier weights at the gym), but it's still the thing that's going to make the biggest difference. Also notice: if you have fears about aging (visually, hormonally, or otherwise), ask yourself these questions: Is this danger or discomfort? Is this my preference or my fear? Does this choice come from safety or threat? Just observe. No judgment, just awareness.
Takeaways
ADHD symptoms feeling worse with age is actually worsening dysregulation - the ADHD brain relies on estrogen for dopamine regulation, and perimenopause/menopause decrease estrogen, making us more reactive and dysregulated
What feels like worsening ADHD is your body's sense of safety shifting - the symptoms of ADHD and dysregulation are almost interchangeable, so regulation work becomes even more important as you age
Three ways to support yourself: regulation work (the anchor that creates stability), radical permission for what you need (more rest, slowing down), and hormonal/medical support from your doctor
Dysregulated brains fear aging more because our nervous system sees every change as a potential threat - regulated brains tolerate change better, including physical change
Societal pressure on women to stay young impacts us more when we're dysregulated - the goal isn't to love aging, just to stop fearing it so much so you can make conscious choices instead of compulsive ones
EP. 39 (Replay of EP. 1): STOP FIGHTING Your ADHD Brain! The UNEXPECTED Path to Success No One's Talking About | ADHD with Jenna Free
22 Dec 2025
00:33:33
This is a replay of our foundational Episode 1 - perfect for new listeners or anyone who wants a refresher on The ADHD Regulation Method! (Called the ADHD Reset in this episode)
Chapters 00:00 Rethinking ADHD: A New Perspective 11:38 The Journey to Regulation: Finding Balance 19:07 The Impact of Regulation on Daily Life 26:03 Awareness and Acceptance: The Key to Transformation
Summary Hi! I'm Jenna Free, therapist for ADHD with ADHD here to share a transformative perspective on ADHD, emphasizing the importance of understanding that we have ADHD but we are also in fight or flight and that is the true problem. I discuss the concept of dysregulation and how ADHDers often find themselves in a chronic state of fight or flight, which can lead to feelings of overwhelm and paralysis. I am here to advocate for deeper internal work to achieve regulation and balance, moving away from superficial coping strategies. Today I am sharing my unique approach - learning the philosophy of The ADHD Reset (now called the ADHD Regulation Method) is vital in living well with ADHD. From here we will talk about how to implement this in your life and beyond.
Takeaways
ADHD should be viewed as a brain difference, not a problem.
Many (all?) ADHDers experience chronic dysregulation and fight or flight.
Superficial coping strategies are not enough for true transformation.
Awareness of dysregulation is the first step to change.
Regulation allows for a more relaxed and sustainable way of living.
Fear and shame can fuel short bursts of energy but are not sustainable.
Finding balance is key to managing ADHD symptoms effectively.
The journey to regulation involves internal work and acceptance.
Enjoyment of life should be the ultimate goal, not just productivity.
Transformation is possible with the right approach and mindset.
Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Why Goals Feel Exhausting 01:00 You've Only Ever Pursued Goals from a Survival State 03:00 Why Relief is Your Primary Dopamine Source 05:00 The Primal Metaphor: Running from the Bear vs Picking Berries 08:00 Why Focusing on the End Goal Keeps You Stuck 11:00 What Regulated Motivation Actually Looks Like 14:00 My Real Life Example: 7 Years Dysregulated vs 2.5 Years Regulated 17:00 Growth is a Long-Term Game 19:00 This Week's Practice: Shift from Sprint to Present
Summary In this episode, I talk about why long-term goals feel impossible with ADHD - and how to actually change that. If goals feel exhausting, you have ideas but pursuing them feels overwhelming and anxiety-fueled, and you can't sustain anything long-term, you're likely dysregulated. Here's what's really happening: you've only ever pursued goals from a survival state, and survival state motivation is sprint motivation. When you're in fight or flight, your body isn't trying to help you grow - it's trying to help you survive or escape. The only motivation that works in that state is urgency, shame, fear, and guilt. This is why you can't start a project until the deadline is hours away, why you crash after submitting something, and why you burn out trying to fix your whole life in a weekend. I share a powerful analogy: you're trying to climb a mountain with "run from the bear" energy, but all meaningful goals require "walk the mountain path to pick berries" energy. These are two completely different nervous system modes. Most ADHDers have only ever operated in sprint mode, but all goals worth having require that steady foraging energy. I break down what keeps you stuck (focusing on completion as the only reward, needing panic to get started) and what regulated motivation actually looks like (steady, sustainable, internally rewarding, about experience not escape). I share my real-life entrepreneur example: 7 years dysregulated getting nowhere versus 2.5 years regulated building consistent momentum. The key isn't trying harder - it's working on the state of your nervous system so you can access that berry-picking energy.
Action Step This week, when you sit down to do something (start small - even washing dishes counts), notice when you get into that sprinting energy of "I gotta get this over with." Shift it to: "For the next few minutes, I'm just going to be present with the task at hand. I'm just gonna do what I'm doing." You're teaching your nervous system: this is safe, I'm not running from a bear, I am picking berries. This disrupts that relief-driven cycle and starts building your capacity for sustainable, long-term effort. Remember: slowing down doesn't mean doing less - it means picking berries instead of running from the bear.
Takeaways
You've only ever pursued ADHD goals from a survival state, and survival motivation is sprint motivation - urgency, shame, fear, guilt - which can't sustain long-term pursuits
When dysregulated, relief is your primary dopamine source (just get it over with) versus fulfillment (I want to do this) - this is why you can't stick with goals
The analogy: you're trying to climb mountains with "run from the bear" energy when you need "walk the path to pick berries" energy - two completely different nervous system modes
Regulated motivation is steady, sustainable, internally rewarding, and about experience not escape - you can start without panic, continue without adrenaline, stop without self-judgment, and pick up again without dread
Slowing down and being present with each step (berry-picking energy) will get you to your goals more consistently than sprinting (bear energy) - sustainability beats intensity for anything meaningful
Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Free Regulated Vision for 2026 Hangout 01:15 Identity and ADHD: How You See Yourself Changes Everything 02:35 The Stereotypical ADHD Identity Trap 04:30 Your Brain Will Fight to Keep Your Identity (Even If You Hate It) 06:00 Identity Acts as a Filter 07:15 My Non-ADHD Example: Intuitive Eating Journey 09:05 My ADHD Identity Shifts 11:00 When ADHD Is No Longer Your Personality 12:25 We Act in Ways That Confirm Who We Believe We Are 14:10 ADHDers Think They Can't Do Long-Term Things 16:00 Notice Where ADHD Language Shrinks You 17:30 Regulation Work Is For People Who Believe Change Is Possible
Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD identity and how the way you see yourself determines what you attempt, what you tolerate, and how you grow. Most ADHD conversations focus on symptoms, tools, and hacks - very little attention is given to identity. But here's the thing: most change doesn't fail because of effort, it fails because of identity. The stereotypical ADHD identity sounds like "ADHDers can't watch a two-minute video" or "I'm scattered, I can't focus, I do things last minute, I can't follow through." These may describe states or actions (especially when dysregulated), but they get mistaken for traits - for who we are. When we solidify these states into our identity, we stop trying to build capacity, stop trusting ourselves, and regulation feels unrealistic. Your nervous system will work hard to protect your identity, even parts you don't like. Identity acts as a filter - it determines what you notice and dismiss. If you identify as someone who can't focus, you'll unconsciously collect evidence that confirms it. This is why ADHD regulation efforts feel pointless when we think "this is just who I am." I share my journey with intuitive eating (shifting from strict dieter to intuitive eater over 10 years with zero effort now) and my ADHD journey (from "I just do things last minute, that's who I am" to identifying as someone who values slowing down and regulation). When ADHD is no longer your personality or ceiling, when symptoms and dysregulation aren't who you are, everything opens up. People stay consistent through identity, not willpower - you don't have to motivate yourself to act in character. When identity shifts, urgency-based motivation fades and positive motivators come out. Regulation work is for people who believe change is possible and are ready to expand how they see themselves.
Action Step This week, ask yourself: How do I describe myself? What do I identify with? Do the ways I identify make regulation, growth, and the change I'm looking for easier or harder? Notice where ADHD language shrinks you - phrases like "I'm a procrastinator," "I can't focus," "I'm lazy," "I'm not motivated." These keep you stuck. Consider what shifts you might make in how you want to see yourself. Are you someone who values enjoying life? Are your actions showing that? Are you someone who believes change is possible? Start there. You don't have to change who you are, but work on how you see yourself - that's the first step before any regulation work can stick.
Takeaways
Most ADHD change doesn't fail because of effort, it fails because of identity - the way you see yourself determines what you attempt and what feels possible
Your brain fights to keep your identity even if you don't like it - going against who you believe you are feels unsafe, so if you identify as "scattered and can't focus," your system will work to keep that
Identity acts as a filter determining what you notice and dismiss - if you take criticism to heart but dismiss compliments, that's your identity at work
People stay consistent through identity, not willpower - you don't have to motivate yourself to act in character, you naturally do things that align with how you see yourself
Regulation work is for people who believe change is possible, value depth over hacks, and are ready to expand how they see themselves - not for people who want to stay inside the ADHD stereotype
Chapters 00:00 Introduction & Physical Regulation Moment 01:00 What is ADHD Paralysis? The Traditional View 02:00 The Missing Piece: Fight or Flight 03:00 Executive Dysfunction vs. Dysregulation 04:00 Jenna's Personal Experience with Paralysis 06:00 Understanding the Freeze Response 08:00 Why Forcing Yourself Makes It Worse 11:00 The Alternative: Getting Your Foot Off the Brake 12:00 The Power of "Slow and Steady Wins the Race" 14:00 Practical Steps for Paralysis Moments 16:00 The Overwhelm-Paralysis Pipeline 18:00 Beliefs That Changed Everything
Summary In this episode, I talk about ADHD paralysis and why the mainstream understanding is missing a huge piece. The traditional view says paralysis stems from executive dysfunction, but here's the problem: it doesn't account for the fact that most ADHDers are also in fight or flight. We're dysregulated. When we're in fight-flight-freeze-fawn, so many symptoms of ADHD and dysregulation overlap that we can't tell what's coming from where. The mainstream message assumes it's all coming from your ADHD brain, but my perspective is that yes, we have an ADHD brain and that kicked us into fight or flight - but now so much of what we're dealing with is actually the dysregulation, not the ADHD itself. This is amazing news because you can get out of dysregulation. I share my personal experience: since focusing almost solely on regulation, I haven't experienced paralysis in a year and a half. I break down what's happening in the freeze response - physical symptoms like muscle tension and fatigue, psychological symptoms like dissociation and feeling stuck. Here's the counterintuitive piece: when you feel stuck, you feel like you need to force yourself back into action with urgency, guilt, and shame, but this will not help - it only makes it worse. You might get moving short-term, but it triggers more dysregulation, creating more paralysis. The alternative is to get your foot off the brake - reduce tension and frantic energy. I walk through the importance of physical regulation in paralysis moments (deep breath, drop shoulders, speak out loud "I'm safe"), why belief work like "slow and steady wins the race" is vital, and how to work on the overwhelm-paralysis pipeline. The real question isn't how to force yourself out of paralysis - it's how to heal the dysregulation causing the freeze response.
Action Step This week, when you experience paralysis, notice it objectively with curiosity - not judgment. Ask yourself: is overwhelm present right before the paralysis? They often go together. Instead of forcing yourself with urgency or shame, try the physical regulation approach: take a deep breath, drop your shoulders, slow down. If you're stuck on the couch, say out loud "I'm laying on the couch. I'm safe. It's okay." This might feel counterintuitive when you feel like you should be jumping into action, but remember - the white-knuckling grip is what's causing the freeze. Relaxing that grip is how you eventually stop freezing up. It won't get you unstuck in that second, but if you do this whenever you think of it, you're working on reducing paralysis long-term instead of just forcing yourself through it short-term. And start playing with the belief "slow and steady wins the race" - can you find even a crack in your armor where part of you goes "maybe that's true"?
Takeaways
ADHD paralysis is often caused by nervous system dysregulation (the freeze response) rather than just executive dysfunction - and freeze is workable through regulation
The mainstream view blames paralysis on having an ADHD brain, but much of what we're dealing with in adulthood is actually the dysregulation our different brain kicked us into
Forcing yourself with urgency, guilt, shame, and fear might get you moving short-term, but it makes the paralysis worse long-term by triggering more dysregulation
Getting out of paralysis requires the opposite of what feels intuitive - you need to reduce tension and frantic energy (get your foot off the brake), not increase it with more force
Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Not Regulating for Regulation's Sake 01:30 ADHD Regulation Groups Are Open 03:00 Why "Should" Never Sustains Motivation 05:00 Push Motivators vs Pull Motivators 07:00 The Real Question: Do I Want a Regulated Life? 08:00 Benefit #1: Blood Flow Returns to Your Brain 08:30 Benefit #2: Executive Functioning Increases 09:00 Benefit #3: Symptoms Go Down 10:00 Benefit #4: More Sustainable and Consistent Living 14:00 Benefit #5: Enjoyment (The Biggest Motivator) 18:00 Recap: What Are You Pulled Towards?
Summary In this episode, I talk about why you shouldn't regulate just because you think you should - and what to focus on instead. I get comments saying "I know I should regulate but I don't know how" or "I should be working on it," and the key here is: regulation is not good or bad, you're not a bad person if you're dysregulated. If you're only doing it because you feel like you should, it's probably not going to end well. Just like exercise - if you're only doing it because you should, it won't stick. But if you genuinely want to feel good, strong, and have a more vibrant life, it's easier to keep up with. I break down why "shoulds" never sustain motivation - they're push motivators (running away from something) versus pull motivators (walking towards something you want). Push motivation works short-term but is unsustainable. Pull motivation keeps you going long-term. I share the 5 key benefits of ADHD regulation to help you connect with what you're actually pulled towards: (1) Blood flow returns to your prefrontal cortex so you can think clearly, (2) Executive functioning increases, (3) ADHD symptoms go down, (4) You can live in a more sustainable and consistent way instead of the frantic crash cycle, and (5) You actually enjoy your life. I share my real-life example: 7 years of being intense then doing nothing versus 2.5 years of showing up every day with no burnout in sight - less work, less stress, more productive. The real question isn't "should I regulate?" - it's "do I want a regulated life and everything that comes with that?"
Action Step This week, ask yourself: Am I trying to regulate because I think I should, or because I genuinely want what it gives me? Connect with your pull motivators, not push motivators. Do you want clearer thinking and lower symptoms? Do you want to live sustainably instead of frantically crashing? Do you want to enjoy your life while also being productive? Hold those desires in your mind. If you can't connect with those yet, that's okay - maybe you just know you don't want what you have now (paralysis, brain fog, frantic energy). That's enough to start walking forward. But don't try to force yourself with "should" - that's a recipe for dysregulation.
Takeaways
Regulation is not good or bad - don't do it just because you think you should, that's a recipe for dysregulation and will never sustain motivation
"Shoulds" are push motivators (running away from something) which work short-term but are unsustainable - pull motivators (walking towards something you want) keep you going long-term
5 key benefits of ADHD regulation: blood flow returns to brain for clearer thinking, executive functioning increases, symptoms go down, sustainable consistent living instead of frantic crash cycle, and enjoyment of life
The frantic crash cycle is not your natural state - it's you in panic mode and dysregulation, so working on sustainability isn't going against who you are
You can have both productivity AND enjoyment - with regulation you get more productive, less stressed, and enjoy life more (not one or the other)
Chapters 00:00 Introduction: A Regulated Approach to ADHD Tools Workshop 02:00 ADHD, Dysregulation, and Digital Overstimulation 05:00 Why Physical Tools Are More Grounding 08:00 My Paper Calendar System (3.5 Years Strong) 11:00 Why We Choose Tools (And Why That's the Problem) 14:00 Functionality Over Dopamine 16:00 Less Is More: Simplicity Is Key 19:00 Regulating vs Dysregulating Tools
Summary In this episode, I talk about why your ADHD apps and digital tools aren't working - and what to try instead. Most ADHD conversations focus on external supports like apps, calendars, and organizational systems, but sometimes our ADHD strategies are actually making things worse. There's strong messaging out there that the more complicated the ADHD tool, the better - more features, more automation, more tech. But is this really helping? When everything lives on your phone (calendar, lists, organizational apps), it's less grounding for your nervous system, easier to forget things buried digitally, and adds to overstimulation. Digital tools mirror dysregulated thinking - fast-paced, a million folders, scrolling forever. Physical analog tools mirror regulated thinking - you can only do one thing at a time, they're softer and slower. I share my paper calendar system that I've used every single workday for 3.5 years without fail (not because I'm trying hard, but because it supports my regulation). Most ADHD tools are chosen to create motivation through dopamine, novelty, or urgency - but this motivation is unreliable and fades fast (like that bean app everyone was using). The fun will fade, the aesthetics will fade. Instead, focus purely on functionality from day one. I break down why less is more, how to find your MVP (minimum viable product), and the difference between regulating tools (visible, simple, dependable, work even when you're tired) versus dysregulating tools (live entirely on phone, too many features, require frequent setup, rely on novelty).
Action Step This week, assess your current ADHD tools and apps. Ask yourself: Is this tool regulating or dysregulating my nervous system? Am I using this because it's functional and solves a real problem, or because it's pretty, fun, or gave me a dopamine hit when I first got it? Look for one area where you could simplify - maybe you have five calendars all over the place when you really need just one or two. Or maybe everything lives on your phone when one physical tool (like a paper calendar or simple notebook) would be more grounding. What's the MVP - the minimum viable product - that would actually solve your problem without all the extra features you're not using anyway?
Takeaways
Digital ADHD tools can be dysregulating - when everything lives on your phone, it's less grounding, easier to forget (buried digitally), and adds to overstimulation with lights, sounds, and fast-paced scrolling
Physical analog tools are more regulating because they're tactile, slower, and force you to do one thing at a time - your nervous system is primal and prefers the physical world
Most ADHD apps are chosen for dopamine, novelty, or urgency - but this motivation is unreliable and fades within 3 days to a week, which is why you keep buying new tools that don't stick
Focus purely on functionality, not aesthetics or fun - the prettiest calendar won't help if you stop using it after a week, but an ugly functional one you use every day will change your life
Less is more: simplicity is key - cut the fluff, find your MVP (minimum viable product), and make tools as simple as possible so they work even when you're tired or low energy
EP. 46: Why "Honoring Your ADHD" Can Keep You Stuck and The Misunderstanding That Makes Things Worse
09 Feb 2026
00:22:18
What if honouring your ADHD brain is actually making things worse?
What if the relief you feel from avoiding stressful tasks isn't self-acceptance... but dysregulation running the show?
In this episode, I break down three common ways we think we're honouring our neurodivergence, but we're actually fueling the dysregulation.
There's a difference between conscious choice and compulsive avoidance. One is empowering. The other keeps you stuck.
We'll look at:
why avoiding things that cause anxiety (like mail) tells your nervous system they're dangerous - making the problem worse over time
how the panic sprinter cycle (frantic bursts then crash) isn't your natural state - it's your brain in fight or flight
why text message overwhelm is dysregulation, not neurodivergence (all-or-nothing thinking, perfectionism, feeling like demands)
the key question: is this a conscious choice I'm making, or is dysregulation making choices for me?
how to break these cycles by facing things with regulation work - not white-knuckling, not avoiding
You're an adult. You can do whatever you want. But when you're making choices from a regulated place, you'll actually want to do the things that used to feel impossible.
EP. 45: Want to Be Regulated? Stop Chasing Safety. Align with Reality.
02 Feb 2026
00:21:25
What if trying to feel calm and quiet isn't working? What if focusing on making your body feel "safe" isn't making much difference?
In this episode, I share a core shift in the ADHD Regulation approach: Regulation isn't always being zen and calm. Regulation is aligning with reality.
When you are no longer fighting with reality your system can relax and just be.
EP. 47: Always Rushing? You're Making Everything Worse. Here's Why Slowing Down Works.
16 Feb 2026
00:28:06
What if rushing is making you late instead of helping you get there on time? What if all that frantic energy is actually lowering your executive functioning and making everything harder?
In this episode, I break down why rushing isn't just an ADHD thing, it's dysregulation.
When you slow down and focus instead of rushing and panicking, you become more efficient, less distracted, and literally have more brain function.
EP. 49: Why You Can't Start Tasks and The Fight or Flight Response That's Really Running the Show
02 Mar 2026
00:24:37
What if task initiation isn't actually an ADHD brain problem? What if the reason you can't start tasks is because your brain is stuck in fight or flight?
In this episode, I break down why task initiation struggles are really about dysregulation, not dopamine deficiency or executive dysfunction.
When you're in survival mode, your brain needs urgency, novelty, challenge, or interest just to get moving. When you regulate, you can just decide to do things.
EP. 48: Why ADHDers Lose Perspective and The Survival Mode Trap That Keeps You Zoomed In
23 Feb 2026
00:23:28
What if the reason you can't stop scrolling, avoiding, or seeking comfort isn't a willpower problem? What if your brain is just stuck in survival mode... zoomed in so far that you've lost sight of what actually matters?
In this episode, I talk about what happens when the ADHD brain zooms in and how it quietly steals your perspective on what's important.
When you're dysregulated, your brain is focused on getting through the day. Not living it. The more regulated you become, the easier it gets to zoom back out and make decisions your future self will actually thank you for.