A weekly movie podcast hosted by stand up comedians Ryan Cullen and Mark Nelson.
Join them as they pick apart their film of the week. They might discuss movies, they might not, it’ll be a laugh anyway.
Argumentative, unqualified and very very funny. Cullen and Nelson are Absolute Cuts.
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Episode 90 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 tentacle probing, bath worming, exploding in a barn-ing classic Slither. Ryan and Mark talk about Cullen's memorable taxi journey, blood tests and why this is the most fucked up film they have seen in a long time.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve"
Episode 89 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 child smoking, leech pulling, competitive pie eating classic Stand By Me. Ryan and Mark talk about if certain things would get you arrested, Cullen conquering LA and how you should remove a leech.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Absolute Cuts #88 : TOMBSTONE
Episode 88
Thursday, May 8, 2025 • Duration 01:35:29
"I'm your huckleberry"
Episode 88 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 lungering, opium tanning, pistol whipping classic Tombstone. Ryan and Mark talk about how pish coffee is, golf and what character we would be in a Western.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Youtube :
Absolute Cuts #87 : DOGMA
Episode 87
Thursday, May 1, 2025 • Duration 01:21:55
"Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch"
Episode 87 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999 fallen angel-ing, last scion-ing, female Almighty-ing classic Dogma. Ryan and Mark talk about pilates, Kneecap, and Nelson asks the most controversial question on the podcast to date.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Absolute Cuts #86 : MISSISSIPPI BURNING
Episode 86
Friday, April 25, 2025 • Duration 01:10:03
"You know what, Anderson? You're starting to get so far up my nose, I'm beginning to feel your boots on my chin!"
Episode 86 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 cornholing, shitkicking, good ole boying classic Mississippi Burning. Ryan and Mark talk about Judas, Willem Dafoe's cock and Cullen reveals the most mental thing he almost did.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Absolute Cuts #85 : ROMEO MUST DIE
Episode 85
Wednesday, April 16, 2025 • Duration 01:06:50
"Guns don't kill people. People kill people"
Episode 85 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 xray showing, DMXing, Aaliyahing pile of shit Romeo Must Die. Ryan and Mark talk about crows, offensive Irish jokes and Nelson gets Cullen with the best one for a while.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Absolute Cuts #84 : SHAUN OF THE DEAD
Episode 84
Tuesday, April 8, 2025 • Duration 01:05:29
"You've got red on you"
Episode 84 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 flesh eating, Mother shooting, Don't Stop Me Now-ing classic Shaun Of The Dead. Ryan and Mark talk about pig farms, comfortable shoes and the best weapon to kill a zombie.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Absolute Cuts #83 : AUSTIN POWERS INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY
Episode 83
Thursday, April 3, 2025 • Duration 59:57
“Allow myself to introduce... myself.”
Episode 83 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 shagadelicking, big bag of ssshhing, yeah babying classic Austin Powers. Ryan and Mark talk about aspirin, Val Kilmer and disagree over how hot Elizabeth Hurley is.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
Absolute Cuts #82 : THE LONGEST YARD
Episode 82
Thursday, March 27, 2025 • Duration 59:26
“You gotta always protect the McNuggets”
Episode 82 of Absolute Cuts sees host Ryan Cullen and special guest host Daniel Sloss discuss the 2005 drunk driving, sadistic wardening, convict touchdowning classic The Longest Yard. Ryan and Daniel talk about WhatsApp group nicknames, Karl Urban & fight about their movie tastes.
Normal service resumes next week when Nelson is back from the Alps.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Absolute Cuts #81 - THE QUEEN
Episode 81
Thursday, March 20, 2025 • Duration 01:17:06
"And remember, it's "Ma'am" as in "ham", not "Ma'am" as in "farm"."
Episode 81 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 stag hunting, curtseying, People's Princess murdering classic The Queen. Mark & Ryan talk about St Paddy's Day, Nelson's first lads holiday and find out the dogs were the real stars of this film.
Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to suggest a film.
BBC SPECIAL https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m0026gr4/mark-nelson-live-from-dumfries
Twitter : @marknelsoncomic
Instagram : @marknelsoncomic
Facebook : MarkNelsonComic
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