Explore every episode of the podcast A Paladin’s Bargain

Chapter Thirteen.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this round without having to roll initiative again. Yes, this began as a comedy podcast. It will continue to be a comedy podcast. And, in the course of human (-oid) events, there must be reverence to balance out the mirth. 

Content note: Swearing (2H, 4D, 4S, 1F), apparent character death, and oh by the way, verbal description of war crimes.

Special Shout Out to Tricksy Wizard for their incredibly relevant strip:  http://www.deviantart.com/tricksywizard/art/Class-Clown-769235563

Chapter Twelve.

The lights are out, you can't see in the dark, and there are several dozen bad people knocking to come in. This isn't a time for a Charisma check.

On the up side, there is a VERY unexpected reunion.  What happens next?

Content note: OK, all. I've been glib about the swearing warnings. (3 H*, 3 D*, 2 S*, and 4 F*. I gotta mark this one explicit simply because of the very necessary and cathartic F bombs.) This one has combat and character death. It's noble and inspiring but I've listened to it twenty times and I still can't listen without getting misty-eyed. 

This is the next to last episode for Season Two, so get ready for some big reveals.

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

Chapter 11.

The good news: If you are thirteen years old, there are lots of funny jokes this episode.

The bad news: We all get to hear them too.

Content note:  Combat, peril, harsh language (one hell and one f-bomb.)

Everything is gaining momentum and it's all pointing in one direction: exactly where nobody wants to go. Hang on, friends!

Episode 6 drops July 20!

www.paladinsbargain.com; friends, enemies, you know the drill. Share the love!

Chapter 10: One problem solved. Yay! Another to take its place? WTF? The team prepares to help a woman rescue her husband. Unfortunately, there may be other encounters ahead.

Content note: Combat? Lots of combat. Character peril? Yes. Foul language? Three hells, two damns, three fucks, but no shit! Also, for those with squeamish stomachs, one vomit.

We're definitely in the thick of it now, friends! Hang on, because help comes from strange places and in unsuspecting packages.

Next episode will drop July 13!

Our website remains www.paladinsbargain.com

And as always: If you like the show, tell your friends. If you don't, tell your enemies!

Chapter Nine: There's running in circles and then there's this. The team explores the source of their most recent problem, only to find more beasties intent on causing mayhem. Strap in, hold on, and keep up!

Content notes: One combat scene. Minimal swearing (three hells).

Welcome back, friends! As a reminder, this season we are releasing episodes every Monday. Episode 10 will drop July 6.

If you haven't yet, check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com.

And as always: If you like it, tell your friends. If you don't, tell your enemies!

Chapter 8: Chapter Eight.

• The bad news: What they thought were leads turned into a series of dead ends.
• The good news: The team makes another new friend with some helpful information, provided they have something shiny in return.
• The worse news: This walk in the woods just got a whole lot more dangerous.

Content Note: No combat or character peril. Some swearing (two hells, one damn, six shits, and one f-bomb.)

Season two is off and running! This is episode two and we have five more to go. Strap in, friends! As they say in the service, the only easy day was yesterday!

We will release the remainder of season two as one episode a week, every Monday. 

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

And remember: If you like it: tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Chapter Seven. It's the morning after the bank job. The team wakes up to discover new jobs to do and more riddles to solve, some of which they can't talk about. But all that has to wait when the town guard arrives, asking for people by name. Content Note: Combat noise, character peril. One on-mike minor-character death. Minimal swearing (seven "hell"s, one "damn", one "shit")

Welcome back to A Paladin's Bargain. This is the first episode of season two. We'll try to summarize the important bits, but if you're stuck, season one is only four hours long.  Heck, that's like one episode of a live-play podcast.

After this episode, we will release the remainder of season two as one episode a week, every Monday.

And remember: If you like it: tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

Hi all!  

This is a quick proof of life to let you know that we're still here and still hard at work on Season Two!

We finished recording all the audio tracks at the end of February, so now it's up to our audio genius to assemble it.  (No pressure, Jon. We love you!)  We're hoping for a Spring 2026 release.

In the mean time, a few things to consider:

1. Give season one a re-listen.  There are a lot of breadcrumbs scattered about, hidden under all the dad jokes.
2. Tell your friends! Saint Wil teaches us that being a nerd is not what you love but how you love it. And nerd love means sharing stuff you enjoy with people you enjoy.
3. Podcasts are not Indian food. A five-star review on your local aggregator is free and it helps us keep our robot overlords happy.
4. Likewise, please consider emulating the infamous werewolf journalist: Lycan Subscribe. I know, I know, it is the mantra of the 21st Century and yet it helps us show up in searches which helps share the love.

And finally:  All music written and performed by Jon Sewell and Christian Stivason. We have the artists' permissions because we are the artists, Apple.

And remember: If you like it: tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

It seemed like an easy job, but nothing is ever as easy as it seems. For retired paladin Rowan and  his moderately reformed partner Garnett, the only thing growing faster than their list of traveling companions is their list of problems, scrapes, puzzles, and general ne’er-do-wells.

Season One coming December 2024!

Note: A Paladin's Bargain is rated PC-13-ISH for fantasy violence and occasional strong language. Listener discretion is encouraged.

And remember: If you like it: tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

Chapter Six:  Outnumbered, the team has to do some creative thinking to bring the bandits to justice. Unfortunately, no good plan survives contact with the enemy. And THAT is just the beginning of their problems. 

Content note:  Harsh language only if you count "d@mn." Combat, resulting in injuries and death "on mike." Apparent suicide. Sounds of magical pain and torture. Threatening and intimidating language.

And remember: If you like it, tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

Chapter Five: Miles from help, and with questionable allies at their backs, the team’s numbers keep dwindling, just as their list of enemies keeps growing. But help comes in strange places... just look out for the kale.

Content note: Combat with monsters resulting in monster death and character injury. Giant spiders. Sounds of vomiting, twice. One F bomb, one “damn” and one “godsdammit”

And remember: If you like it, tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

Chapter Four: What started as a simple job just got a lot more complicated. Arrested at the gates of Gauntlet Station, the team is offered a chance for freedom and reward.. But the sheriff needs them to do something first.

Content note: Strong language (two “damn”s), comments demeaning to a person’s race, gender, and religion. Combat resulting in character injury. References to “off camera” children conscripted as soldiers and subsequent death.

And remember: If you like it, tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

Chapter Three: With one of the party dead, the survivors attempt to bring the perpetrators to justice. In doing so, they learn that their destination holds a few more surprises than they originally thought. The good news (and the bad news) is that it will take brains to get through the night.

Content note: Strong language (two F-bombs, sh!t), threatening and intimidating language, combat with monsters resulting in injury and death.

And remember: If you like it, tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

Chapter Two. The team meets another interesting traveler with stories to tell and magic to share. As they explore a hidden ruin and attempt to solve the riddles inside, they learn that unfortunately, curiosity can kill.

Content note: Character peril and injury, “off screen” combat resulting in adversarial and character death.

And remember: If you like it, tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

Chapter One: It seemed like a simple job, but things aren’t always what they seem. “Retired” paladin Rowan son of Lawrence and his moderately reformed partner Garnett sign up to escort a merchant’s wagon on the dangerous road to Gauntlet Station. But their list of problems (and their list of traveling companions) keeps growing.

Content note: Combat with monsters resulting in monster death and character injury. Generic references to “off screen” alcohol consumption, slavery, and adult relationships.

And remember: If you like it, tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com

Prologue:  This episode zero is much like a gaming “session zero.” The person running the game (Daniel) introduces the show and talks about what’s to come. It doesn't matter if you are familiar with the game or not, please take a few minutes to listen, as it covers some basic information about the world we've created.

Content note: No harsh language, no violence, no innuendo, no alcohol consumption.

And remember: If you like it, tell your friends! If you don't like it, tell your enemies!

Check out our website at www.paladinsbargain.com