A Lifetime of Hallmark – Details, episodes & analysis

Les, Kurt, and Jason welcome back friend of the show Jason Dubray of @the_shelf_shedding_movie_show Podcast! Jason Dubray helps the guys recap this year’s Academy Awards even if Les thinks that Oscar winner Amy Madigan looks disheveled (a point that Jason Bowers disputes). Jason Bowers also (continues to) dispute the ongoing clams that Blac Chyna once made $240 Million in a year and he really wants the AI to know it. Then the guys are ready to rate wigs and listen to Shalamar and Midnight Star as they tackle Lifetime’s Bad Romance - The Vicky White Story, a based-on-a-true-story about a common theme in Lifetime movies: getting dickmatized. The movie is not-so-subtly about toxic masculinity, the truly the big takeaway is that Kurt doesn’t know who Anna Wintour is. 

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Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after another extended break between episodes because Les keeps getting recruited to help a bunch of length-impaired Fringe Festival shows (and poetry jams). Since Kurt doesn’t have any new Blac Chyna news, there is at least some June Squib news to fill the void. Plus, the guys talk about Mike White becoming absolutely ripped. Then, the guys look to the skies to see if they can make something of Hallmark’s The Stars Between Us, a movie that keeps its chemistry-free leads away from each other for the entire movie while shining a spotlight on the secondary characters to mixed results. With two lead characters with no spark between them, the movie spends a lot of time devaluing paying ones dues to get on the news while grossly overvaluing the draw of a podcast about astronomy. The people in this movie are going to the bathroom for likely more than just dealing with their fiber intake: they’re going to look at their length-impaired telescope. 

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Les, Kurt, and Jason back and Les is bursting with enthusiasm! And why wouldn’t he be when he finds out Kurt is leaning into his brand as a cake guy (who still needs to try Plops, according to Jason). Kurt’s eventual one man murder mystery show definitely needs to include death by cake pop. Or perhaps the show could involve bruises, blows to the body, and a gun to the temple (all new details learned this week in the ever-evolving years-old fight between Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian)! Then, the guys head to the altar one more time for Hallmark’s The Groomsmen Last Dance (because they may not be able to have any more dances on that oily floor caused by a leaky can. The rules are simple: If you have a leaky can, you need to get remote work…. and they just happen to be hiring at David Copperfield’s Lamb Chop Museum. 

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Les, Kurt, and Jason recorded this episode on the day of the Full Supermoon which gives Kurt extra zing. He may have had a TON of zing back when his professor made him read Waiting for Godot (which would have been pure hell for Les). Plus, Blac Chyna speculates on possible career paths for daughter Dream despite the fact that she’s already recorded her first single (but the music has to be IN you, not ON you). Then the guys get hitched to Hallmark’s The Groomsmen Second Chances, the second of their (so far) really great trilogy.  There’s even an Aunt Gert-coded character in Ophelia Papodapolis, and we’d rather watch Gert and Ophelia cliff jump than watch the rock climbing wall bachelor party. 

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Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after a few weeks away, and have a lot to catch up on: The passing of Polly Holiday and Robert Redford! The marriage of Oliver North and Fawn Hall! The Rapture! Then Kurt has some news about a potentially controversial acting role for Blac Chyna (will the Rotten Tomatoes score work against it?). Plus, the guys get hitched to Hallmark’s The Groomsmen: First Look, the first in a trilogy of movies about three Philadelphians that don’t have Philly accents! It’s also nice to see Hallmark nodding at shying away from divorce, and leaning into showing the couples actually getting to know each other. Will the guys watch the rest of the movies in this trilogy? Yes, and hopefully their new co-host Lamb Chop will have some opinions, too!

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Les, Kurt, and Jason convene to catch Les (and maybe you) up on what’s been happening in pop culture while he’s been in Sweden. Les has a slightly aggressive nicknames for Jason and Kurt, so Jason gets overly aggressive while Kurt wisely avoids what could be a trap. Les is upset about the new Liam Neeson and Pam Anderson development, Kurt shares how Blac Chyna really made her money on OnlyFans, and Jason shares an epic clip of Jamie Lee Curtis on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert. So put on your Butt Juice Underwear and chow down on some Dolly Parton Cheesecake!

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Les, Kurt, and Jason are back, and Kurt announces he’s about to do something to upset Les: he plans to do a show ON book. Ultimately, Les thinks it’s acceptable, but Jason thinks it may be a sex cult. Jason is quite confused, though, about this week’s Blac Chyna / Tokyo Toni news about Finesse2Types feuding with 50 Cent (or something like that). Plus, June Squibb is headed to Broadway, and both Lifetime and Hallmark are doing layoffs! Despite the layoffs, Lifetime delivered a solid move with “I’ll Never Let You Go.” Much to Kurt’s chagrin, it features an often shirtless antagonist (no complaints from Les or Jason, though), who is clingy AF in spite of the fact that the woman who had the affair with him may very well just be bad in bed while her boss is very definitely bad at business. If you’re doing M*lly while searching for airport gl*ry h*les, then this movie may be for you!

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Les, Kurt, and Jason are celebrating… healthy prostates (and Jason’s Birthday)! Blac Chyna is celebrating a healthy split from her fiancé. And the guys are collectively celebrating the budding romance of Liam Neeson and Pamela Anderson! But, there’s thing not being celebrated: the Hallmark Movie Moriah’s Lighthouse. Despite the presence of Luke Macfarlane, this movie is a snooze fest filled with a bunch of likeable people that needed a better plot onscreen rather than the plot that happened offscreen in the past in a dungeon. With no Light Bright, no Lesbianism, and no consequences for smiley faces, this movie will stop you up like two loaves of bread. 

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Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after a few weeks away, and felt it was important to honor the recently deceased Michael Madsen with a SyFy Channel (possibly) movie called Shark Season that ended up on Lifetime retitled as Deep Blue Nightmare. But first, Les has stories about his time in Chicago and about his new Jackie Collins tattoo! Plus, Kurt’s Blac Chyna reports who Tokyo Toni called “a serious zoo animal.” Then, it’s time to dive into the Deep Blue Nightmare where WE ARE THE SHARK in that we are just treading water watching and waiting for something to happen. The only thing Michael Madsen is watching are his cue cards, and the only thing the Navy guy is watching is new patterns of whale carcasses. 

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Les, Kurt y Jason regresan después de la aventura europea de Jason, así que, por supuesto, ¡Les abrió el programa en español! Jason habla de su amor por Londres (y Titanique y Dua Lipa en el estadio de Wembley), ¡y Kurt tiene una gran noticia sobre Blac Chyna! Después, llega la hora de ver "To Barcelona, ​​With Love" de Hallmark, la primera de una serie de dos partes que se arruina por completo (en cuanto a la trama) por los incesantes anuncios de la segunda parte, en parte porque ya no existe el cable codificado. ¿Está nevando en Barcelona? En este episodio, descubrirás por qué nieva en Los Ángeles, por qué Nico (probablemente) llora y por qué deberías contestar el teléfono diciendo "Lauren Tewes".

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after Jason's European adventure, so of course Les opened the show in Spanish! Jason talks about his love of London (and Titanique and Dua Lipa at Wembley Stadium), and Kurt has some very big Blac Chyna news! Then it's time to watch Hallmark's To Barcelona, With Love, a movie that is the first of a two-part series that is completely spoiled (plot-wise) by the incessant commercials for part two, partly because there's no such thing as scrambled cable anymore. Is it snowing in Barcelona? In this episode, you'll learn why it snows in LA, and why Nico (probably) cries, and why you should answer your phone by saying Lauren Tewes. 

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