Do you ever feel stuck, emotionally drained, or like you’re constantly striving but never “enough”? You’re in the right place!
Welcome to A HOLY MESS Podcast (ranked in the top 1% globally🎉), a podcast designed for you if you’re ready to break free and heal from self-doubt, burnout, and overgiving—so you can step into confidence, peace, God’s grace and purpose with clarity.
Each week, I share biblical wisdom, mindset shifts, and real conversations to help you: ✨ Overcome self-doubt and fear with faith-based confidence. ✨ Let go of striving and perfectionism and embrace God’s grace. ✨ Set healthy boundaries and stop people-pleasing without guilt. ✨ Heal from burnout, shame, regret, and emotional exhaustion. ✨ Renew your mind with God’s truth and step into your purpose.
There’s no magic wand to find more freedom, but there are practical tools that can help.
Even as Christians who sometimes feel unworthy and shame about our past, anxious about our future, or feel like we are not enough. There is so much more for us! There’s hope, joy, peace, fun, purpose, and a reason that YOU are on this planet.
If you’re ready to rediscover your worth, reconnect with God, and finally feel at peace, you’re in the right place.
We can have fun and laugh while trudging through our messes; this stuff doesn’t need to be dry and boring. I can’t wait to journey with you. Your new friend, Dani
240. I'm Unavailable for That Chaos: Permission to Stop Stepping Into the Storm
Wednesday, July 29, 2026 • Duration 14:49
📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner
I'm Unavailable for That Chaos: Permission to Stop Stepping Into the Storm
Life is lifing. Hard in multiple directions at once. Parents, friendships, grief, the mess you didn't sign up for and the mess you created yourself. Dani recorded this one in the middle of her own intense season and didn't pretend otherwise. She's navigating her parents needing more support, two friends with stage four cancer, and a shitty committee that would love nothing more than to drag her into every storm. Her response? "I'm unavailable for that chaos." Not because things aren't hard. Because she knows you can only do what you can do, and emotionally stepping into what you can't control is just another way to abandon yourself. This is the kind of work 1:1 coaching with Dani is built around: getting your nervous system right, your vision clear, and your permission to believe that better is still coming.
She closes with a guided white light meditation, a Habakkuk 2:2 vision exercise, and a C.S. Lewis quote that lands like a deep breath. Book a discovery call at aholymess.com, or grab a spot right now at calendly.com/danisumner.
In this episode, Dani talks about:
The difference between external chaos and internal chaos (and why you're probably stepping into both)
Permission to be "unavailable" for the storms you can't actually change
The vagus nerve breath reset you can do in under 60 seconds
A guided white light body scan meditation to get present and regulated
The Habakkuk 2:2 vision exercise: write it big enough to read on the run
Why reading your goals morning and night changes everything
Glad you're here,
Dani
Want to Go Deeper? 💫
Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.
If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍
239. The Love Language Nobody Talks About (Applying It to Yourself)
Saturday, July 25, 2026 • Duration 06:50
📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner
Love Yourself in Your Language
You know your husband's love language. You know your best friend's. But when's the last time you actually used one on yourself?
Gary Chapman's five love languages (quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, acts of service) were built to help you understand how people feel loved. Somewhere along the way we started applying them to everyone except the one person who needed them most. You've been loving everybody else in their language while running on empty -- and that's exactly why you're depleted.
Dani's been teaching this inside her coaching groups for years and finally brought it to the podcast: figure out your top two love languages, then do those things for yourself. Quality time? 30 minutes of solitude, not errand-running. Physical touch? A massage with intention, not just obligation. Acts of service? Clean out the drawer that's been hanging over you. Gifts? Buy yourself the flowers. It's not selfish. It's the opposite of self-abandonment.
And if words of affirmation is your language and your shitty committee is out of control -- that's not a coincidence. You're getting hit hardest in the exact place you need the most love. That's the work. And if you want to go deeper on it with someone in your corner, 1:1 coaching with Dani or the Life Coach Certification is where that happens.
In this episode, Dani talks about:
Why we apply the five love languages to everyone but ourselves
How each love language can be practiced as self-care (with real, specific examples)
The link between your love language and why you feel chronically depleted
Why words of affirmation + a loud shitty committee is a specific kind of soul wound
The one-week challenge: do two love languages for yourself before the week is out
How loving yourself well is a spiritual responsibility, not a trend
Glad you're here,
Dani
Want to Go Deeper? 💫
Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.
230. 7 Practical Tools to Regulate Your Nervous System When You're Triggered
Wednesday, June 10, 2026 • Duration 26:40
You've done the deep work. The therapy. The books. The journaling. And you still get triggered, you still slip into the shitty committee, you still reach for the chips or the wine or the doom scroll before your brain catches up. In this episode (a peek inside one of Dani's group sessions), she gives you 7 practical tools to calm the storm so you can actually do the deeper identity shift work and step into your next level.
She shares the thesis that "practical isn't sexy, but it's very, very needed," the client story about Jane who learned to giggle at her own shitty committee instead of crucifying herself, and the reframe that will change how you think about the hard people in your life: honor your allergies.
In this episode, Dani talks about:
Why root work alone keeps you circling the same mountain
The "house on fire inside the house" chaos most of us are actually fighting
7 practical tools to reach for the moment a trigger hits (walking, classical music, air lunges, box breathing, calling a friend, dancing, ping pong or a tennis ball)
The "honor your allergies" reframe for the people who keep triggering you
A simple boundary that saved a friend's sleep (no calls with her daughter past noon)
Joel 2:25 and the years the locusts have eaten
If your shitty committee has been running you ragged and you're ready to do the deeper identity shift work, this is what I do with my 1:1 clients (and what I train inside the Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this work for others). Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com, or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner if you're ready to grab a spot right now. And if you're not ready yet, this episode will hit like a deep breath and a hug and a kick in the ass all at once.
140. Do You Ever Feel Like You Don't Belong? Or Is Your Childhood Stuff Still Affecting You? "From Struggles to Strength"- Teri Shares Her Path to More Freedom, Faith & Healing From Past Hurts
Remember to use code "EARLYBIRD24" for all the bonuses!
🎉 Bonuses: The first ten people who sign up will get $100 off, and the first five will ALSO get a free 30-minute one-on-one coaching call with me! ($100 value)
I'm so excited to share Teri from our community with you--she is the real deal. She's been through so much in her life and shares much of it with you today, and she is such a gift to us all.
Teri shares her journey to find more freedom and strength, connection in relationships- even though they've been difficult for her in the past- and purpose in her life.
If you ever feel like you don't fit in or your childhood still has a grip on you, Teri will encourage you!
She openly shared her journey of wrestling with her past, embracing her true identity, dealing with her life's messiest moments, and finding a more profound purpose through them.
She also found her voice—no more people-pleasing—and shared her faith journey with Jesus.
If you yearn to become truly who you were meant to be and not let the past dictate your future, Teri will spur you on and give you hope!
🎉 Also, doors are now open for The Feel Better Journey, our fantastic community and program that helps you work through your "stuff" and get unstuck SO THAT you can find the relief you've been searching for and move into your next chapters of life with more clarity and peace.
We laugh a lot and have fun together inside the program, too.
139. Embracing Grace- Navigating Life's Trials With Faith, God's Love, Finding Healthy Friendships and Forgiveness… 1 John 3
In today's episode, I share a very personal story from high school and the impact that one small gesture from an amazing man had on my life during a very dark and lonely season. I hope it encourages you!
Want to watch this episode on YouTube instead? Click to visit my YouTube channel and be sure to subscribe if you'd prefer to watch instead of listen. ;)
138. Unlocking Inner Strength and Confidence: How to Overcome The Past & Begin Rewriting Your Story & Find Hope / Quote & Quick Encouragement
Today's a short episode, and I HOPE it encourages you!
I'm sharing one of my favorite quotes and verse—Romans 15:13.
Sometimes, life wears us out so much that we forget we have what we need inside to live a beautiful life.
I hope today's episode reminds you of the strength and wisdom God has given you deep within your being.
Sometimes, the best thing from hard times that we walk through is the wisdom birthed through it.
Quote: "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies with us." --Ralph Waldo Emerson
Romans 15:13: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with the hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
If you've ever felt more anxious after praying or wrestled with thoughts like, "Why isn't prayer helping?!" and "Am I doing it wrong?" and so many others, today's episode is for you.
I'm sharing a few thoughts about it all, as well as some very simple yet profound prayers that have changed the game for me when I'm struggling, especially with anxiety. I hope they help you, too.
The prayers mentioned today:
The Surrender Prayer:
Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything. Amen.
The Lord's Prayer:
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory forever and ever. Amen.
The Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen.
Also, The Feel Better Journey Program is opening soon! If you want extra support this season and a program (and me!) that will walk you through, equip you, and help you find relief from your internal struggles--jump on the waitlist, and we will let you know when doors open.
136. Loneliness Doesn't Mean Something Is Wrong with You, It Means You're Human: Vulnerability & Grace
Today, we have Therapist Jim Beebe with us for a short discussion on loneliness. Jim's the real deal and such a gift to this world—he knows his stuff and is such a blessing in my life and our community. He's been an LMFT and has been working with people for over 40 years.
Loneliness can feel so isolating, but most of us feel the sting of it.
It can affect us in many ways--emotionally, mentally, and even physically and spiritually.
I hope this short episode encourages you.
Also, The Feel Better Journey Program is opening soon! If you want extra support this season and a program (and me!) that will walk you through, equip you and help you find relief from your internal struggles--jump on the waitlist, and we will let you know when doors open.
Check it out at https://www.danisumner.com/thefeelbetterjourney
So grateful you're here!
Much love,
Dani
135. In A Tough Season? 1 Daily Strategy That Will Help You Move Forward With Resilience When You’re Dealing With Difficult Emotions Or Overwhelming Thoughts That Keep You From Being Productive...
Today, we are discussing one very helpful strategy for when you feel unproductive or distracted by life's drama in your day-to-day life. I hope it helps!
The Feel Better Journey Program is opening soon! If you want extra support this season and a program (and me!) that will walk you through and equip you to thrive no matter your circumstances, jump on the waitlist, and we will let you know when doors open. Check it out here.
134. How To Know When To Put Up Boundaries And When To Help In Difficult Friendships. Quote by Frederick Buechner, Brennan Manning & Fruit Of The Spirit Wisdom
If you've ever struggled with knowing when to help someone who is struggling and when to set a boundary, I hope today's episode helps!
Today, I'm sharing a strategy that has helped me discern that whole thing!
And I love and live by this quote: "The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."
— Frederick Buechner
This strategy is not a perfect science by any means, but it has served me pretty well over the last decade, and I hope it helps you, too!
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If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍
Want to Go Deeper? 💫
Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.
If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍
- Learning to listen to and bring some healing to our inner child.
- Finding healing from our family of origin stuff that can keep us bound even into retirement! *It's NEVER too late to find healing from this stuff.*
- Tools and strategies to implement today and every day when life *hits the fan or emotions overwhelm you so you can still show up for those who need you.
And we laugh a lot!
Whether you've tried everything already--read all the books, been in support groups, going to therapy, etc... OR, you're just now realizing you need some extra help because you've been there for everyone else all these years, but you feel like no one is there for you--I'd loveee to journey with you and be a guiding hand to help you navigate this season.
It's eight refreshing weeks of authentic community from around the world doing life together once a week on Zoom! Plus, if you like this Podcast--you will LOVE the private podcast with the program! It's a handful of short weekly episodes for you to enjoy between our Zoom calls, along with all the program's content.
I hold your hand (virtually, of course) through the whole program and our 2 months together.
It's holy ground, and I'd love for you to be part of it!
We have men's and women's groups available! And you're invited!
Overview and Summary: Loneliness. - Acknowledgment of life's difficulties and struggles - Emphasis on hope, joy, peace, love, fun, purpose, and divine purpose - Encouragement to embrace personal struggles and partner with God to overcome them Primary Topic: Discussion on Loneliness and Community - Acknowledgment of the prevalence of loneliness and its impact on mental and physical health - Recognition of societal factors contributing to increased loneliness - Stress on the importance and challenges of human connection - Exploration of the internal and external factors contributing to loneliness - Emphasis on the value of being known and accepted in communities - Encouragement to embrace loneliness as part of the human condition - Discussion of the potential trauma responses and shame associated with loneliness - Recognition of the significance of sharing and hearing others' stories Another Primary Topic: Relationship Dynamics and Expectations - Acknowledgment of the unrealistic expectations and pressures in relationships - Messaging in romantic movies and media about soulmates and perfect partners - Emphasis on recognizing that loneliness is part of the human experience, even within relationships - Recognition of the need for multiple, different relationships for various needs and purposes Primary Topic: Self-Acceptance and Being a Friend to Oneself - Acknowledgment of the importance of self-acceptance and self-love - Encouragement to embrace all parts of oneself, particularly the lonely or struggling parts - Stress on the significance of being a friend to oneself and being comfortable in one's own skin - Acknowledgment of personal struggles and the need for emotional support and community Another Primary Topic: Reflection and Encouragement - Encouragement to share and discuss personal experiences and struggles in safe spaces - Announcement and promotion of The Feel Better Journey group coaching program - Promotion of shared experiences and feelings as a way of connecting and feeling part of the human community podcast, grief, loss, shame, anxiety, hope, joy, peace, love, purpose, recovering alcoholic, community, loneliness, relationships, connection, health risk, psychotherapy, trauma response, self-acceptance, human condition, authenticity, vulnerability, shame, fear of missing out, introvert, extrovert, friendship, bonding, loneliness, self-compassion, sharing, feel better journey
