A HOLY MESS | Nervous System, Somatic, Regret, Exhausted, Burnout, Boundaries, Emotional Healing, Christian Mindset, Recovery - Details, episodes & analysis

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A HOLY MESS | Nervous System, Somatic, Regret, Exhausted, Burnout, Boundaries, Emotional Healing, Christian Mindset, Recovery

Dani Sumner | Christian Life Coach, Spiritual Director, Spiritual Transformation Coach

Religion & Spirituality

Education

Health & Fitness

Frequency: 1 episode/7d. Total Eps: 242

Do you ever feel stuck, emotionally drained, or like you’re constantly striving but never “enough”? You’re in the right place!

Welcome to A HOLY MESS Podcast (ranked in the top 1% globally🎉), a podcast designed for you if you’re ready to break free and heal from self-doubt, burnout, and overgiving—so you can step into confidence, peace, God’s grace and purpose with clarity.

Each week, I share biblical wisdom, mindset shifts, and real conversations to help you:
✨ Overcome self-doubt and fear with faith-based confidence.
✨ Let go of striving and perfectionism and embrace God’s grace.
✨ Set healthy boundaries and stop people-pleasing without guilt.
✨ Heal from burnout, shame, regret, and emotional exhaustion.
✨ Renew your mind with God’s truth and step into your purpose.

There’s no magic wand to find more freedom, but there are practical tools that can help.

Even as Christians who sometimes feel unworthy and shame about our past, anxious about our future, or feel like we are not enough. There is so much more for us! There’s hope, joy, peace, fun, purpose, and a reason that YOU are on this planet.

If you’re ready to rediscover your worth, reconnect with God, and finally feel at peace, you’re in the right place.

We can have fun and laugh while trudging through our messes; this stuff doesn’t need to be dry and boring.
I can’t wait to journey with you.
Your new friend,
Dani

Learn -＞ www.danisumner.com
Connect -＞ hello@danisumner.com
Facebook -＞ https://www.facebook.com/DaniSumnerCoaching
Instagram -＞ https://www.instagram.com/danisumner/

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🇬🇧 Great Britain - Christianity
22/07/2026
#91

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https://www.danisumner.com/thefeelbetterjourney
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http://www.danisumner.com/
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https://www.danisumner.com/
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https://www.instagram.com/danisumner
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https://www.instagram.com/niki.hardy
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Score global : 58%

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240. I'm Unavailable for That Chaos: Permission to Stop Stepping Into the Storm

Wednesday, July 29, 2026 • Duration 14:49

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

I'm Unavailable for That Chaos: Permission to Stop Stepping Into the Storm

Life is lifing. Hard in multiple directions at once. Parents, friendships, grief, the mess you didn't sign up for and the mess you created yourself. Dani recorded this one in the middle of her own intense season and didn't pretend otherwise. She's navigating her parents needing more support, two friends with stage four cancer, and a shitty committee that would love nothing more than to drag her into every storm. Her response? "I'm unavailable for that chaos." Not because things aren't hard. Because she knows you can only do what you can do, and emotionally stepping into what you can't control is just another way to abandon yourself. This is the kind of work 1:1 coaching with Dani is built around: getting your nervous system right, your vision clear, and your permission to believe that better is still coming.

She closes with a guided white light meditation, a Habakkuk 2:2 vision exercise, and a C.S. Lewis quote that lands like a deep breath. Book a discovery call at aholymess.com, or grab a spot right now at calendly.com/danisumner.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

The difference between external chaos and internal chaos (and why you're probably stepping into both)
Permission to be "unavailable" for the storms you can't actually change
The vagus nerve breath reset you can do in under 60 seconds
A guided white light body scan meditation to get present and regulated
The Habakkuk 2:2 vision exercise: write it big enough to read on the run
Why reading your goals morning and night changes everything

Glad you're here, Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others. No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

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239. The Love Language Nobody Talks About (Applying It to Yourself)

Saturday, July 25, 2026 • Duration 06:50

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

Love Yourself in Your Language

You know your husband's love language. You know your best friend's. But when's the last time you actually used one on yourself?

Gary Chapman's five love languages (quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, acts of service) were built to help you understand how people feel loved. Somewhere along the way we started applying them to everyone except the one person who needed them most. You've been loving everybody else in their language while running on empty -- and that's exactly why you're depleted.

Dani's been teaching this inside her coaching groups for years and finally brought it to the podcast: figure out your top two love languages, then do those things for yourself. Quality time? 30 minutes of solitude, not errand-running. Physical touch? A massage with intention, not just obligation. Acts of service? Clean out the drawer that's been hanging over you. Gifts? Buy yourself the flowers. It's not selfish. It's the opposite of self-abandonment.

And if words of affirmation is your language and your shitty committee is out of control -- that's not a coincidence. You're getting hit hardest in the exact place you need the most love. That's the work. And if you want to go deeper on it with someone in your corner, 1:1 coaching with Dani or the Life Coach Certification is where that happens.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

Why we apply the five love languages to everyone but ourselves
How each love language can be practiced as self-care (with real, specific examples)
The link between your love language and why you feel chronically depleted
Why words of affirmation + a loud shitty committee is a specific kind of soul wound
The one-week challenge: do two love languages for yourself before the week is out
How loving yourself well is a spiritual responsibility, not a trend

Glad you're here, Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

238. God Doesn't Waste a Thing: How to Use Your Mess for Good

Wednesday, July 22, 2026 • Duration 08:42

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

238. God Doesn't Waste a Thing: How to Use Your Mess for Good

You have a story. And if you're honest, parts of it still have a grip on you. The childhood stuff you thought you processed. The religious conditioning that told you you'd never be enough. The way your business tanks when your inner world is a mess. Dani recorded this one right after getting off the phone with a client who knew she was the bottleneck in her own business but couldn't figure out why. The answer wasn't a strategy. It was the same thing Dani sees over and over: unprocessed stuff left to run the show.

Here's the truth: your history doesn't disqualify you. It qualifies you. But only if you deal with it instead of dragging it behind you like an anchor. If you've done the therapy, read the books, tried the groups, and still feel stuck, the missing piece might be learning to use your story to help others. That's what the Life Coach Certification is built for: taking what you've lived and turning it into something that actually helps people. Because when you help others, you heal yourself. Book a discovery call at aholymess.com and let's find out what God can do with your mess.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

Why your story is your most powerful coaching tool, not your biggest liability
How unprocessed religious conditioning bleeds into your business and relationships
The client call that sparked this episode and what it revealed about inner work
Why helping others is one of the fastest paths to healing yourself
What the Life Coach Certification is actually designed to do (and who it's for)

Glad you're here, Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

237. You Are Known: A Psalm 139 Meditation

Saturday, July 18, 2026 • Duration 04:14

📞 Ready to go deeper? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

You Are Known: A Psalm 139 Meditation

If scripture has ever been used against you, as a weapon or a warning, this one is for you. Psalm 139 is one of the most intimate passages in the Bible, and Dani reads it here the way it was always meant to land: as a reminder that you are fully known, fully seen, and held in grace from before you were born. This is a brief scripture meditation, about four minutes, designed to slow you down and let the words do their work.

Dani has been on her own journey of redeeming scripture for years, and this kind of quiet, restorative practice is at the heart of the work she does with her coaching clients and inside her programs. If this speaks to something you've been longing for, a free discovery call at aholymess.com is a beautiful place to start.

In this episode:

A brief intro on why redeeming scripture matters (especially if church hurt is part of your story)
Dani reads Psalm 139 as a meditation, inviting you to hear it in your own name
A closing prayer anchored in grace, presence, and permission to return to yourself

Glad you're here, Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

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236. A Win Is a Win - Stop Deflecting the Good

Wednesday, July 15, 2026 • Duration 21:36

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

You're the doer. The one carrying everybody else's stuff. You can name your blind spots and recite your weaknesses on command, and somewhere along the way you got so practiced at being self-critical that celebrating yourself feels almost wrong. Which means you're an empty well, waiting on somebody else to come along and fill you up. In this episode, Dani gets real about why celebrating your wins is the holy work you keep skipping, and what it actually unlocks when you stop deflecting the good. She tells the story of her solo walk through Paris where she thanked previous Dani for setting her up, and met future Dani for a sneak peek of what's coming. She teaches why loving kindness, not self-judgment, is what leads to the change you actually want. And she names two client wins from this week, including a woman who shifted a 25-year mother-daughter dynamic in one trip, as proof that anchoring into a holy moment can rewrite your reality faster than you think. If you're ready to do this work with real support, 1:1 coaching is open and the next discovery call is yours when you book it.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

Why your gratitude list is not the same as celebrating yourself, and why the second one is the work
The Paris walk where she thanked previous Dani and met future Dani in the same two hours
Why "loving kindness leads to repentance" means self-judgment will not get you to your next level
How to grow your fantasy life when visualization feels like a setup for disappointment
The boundaries you need around the negative Nellies, even the ones in Christian culture
Two client wins this week that prove anchoring into a holy moment can rewrite your reality

Glad you're here,

Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

235. Be Still. A Guided Meditation for When Your Brain Won't Quit

Saturday, July 11, 2026 • Duration 06:33

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

Your brain is loud. Your to-do list is longer than your faith feels right now. And somewhere in the middle of all that noise, God is just asking you to be still. In this special episode, Dani guides you through a short white light body scan meditation — the kind of practice she uses with her 1:1 coaching clients and inside her groups to help you get out of your head and back into your body, your spirit, and your sense of being held by God.

Meditation isn't woo. It's biblical. And it doesn't have to take 30 minutes. This one is brief, powerful, and designed to bring you back to center when the world is spinning. If this kind of deep inner work is what you've been missing, that's exactly what 1:1 coaching with Dani is built around. Book a discovery call at aholymess.com and let's go deeper together.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

Why meditation is biblical and why Christians should stop being afraid of it
The triune being framework: how this practice works on your mind, body, and spirit at once
A guided white light body scan meditation you can do in under 10 minutes
How to return to this practice anytime you need to come back to center
What 1:1 coaching with Dani actually looks like and who it's for

Glad you're here, Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

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234. Shared Joy Is Double Joy: How to Find Your People and Protect Your Peace

Wednesday, July 8, 2026 • Duration 16:37

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

Shared Joy Is Double Joy: How to Find Your People and Protect Your Peace

Shared joy is doubled. Shared sorrow is halved. That Swedish proverb sounds simple until you realize how many people you've been keeping your struggle, and your good news, from. Maybe you learned early that sharing your wins invites criticism. Maybe the people closest to you can't handle it when things are finally going well. Misery loves company, and Dani is naming it directly: not everyone deserves a seat at your joy. But the right community, one that can actually double your good and carry half your hard, that changes everything.

In this episode, Dani tells the story of six flight delays at the Denver airport and the moment her 17-year-old son Zac quoted her own coaching back at her. What started as a long night turned into one of the richest conversations she's had about agency, community, and what it actually means to carry one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2). She also names the Joel 2:25 era, God renewing the years the locusts have eaten, and closes with a guided Psalm 139 meditation to anchor you in being fully known. If you've been doing this alone, or sharing with the wrong people, 1:1 coaching with Dani is where that changes. And if you're feeling called to do this work for others, the Life Coach Certification is open too.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

The Swedish proverb she shared with her 17-year-old at 1 a.m. in the Denver airport, and why it changed the night
Why misery loves company, and how to protect your joy from the people who can't hold it
The "it's not a conference call" principle: your calling between you and God doesn't need their approval
Why over-explaining yourself is a sign you were never really heard, and what to do instead
The Joel 2:25 era: God renewing the years the locusts have eaten, one day at a time
A guided Psalm 139 meditation to close ("You have searched me, Lord, and you know me")

Glad you're here, Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

233. It's All About Perspective: Finding the Gift Inside the Hard Season

Wednesday, July 1, 2026 • Duration 16:32

📞 Ready to do the deeper work? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

📋 Free Perspective Finder worksheet → https://www.danisumner.com/233

It's All About Perspective: Finding the Gift Inside the Hard Season

You know that spiral. The one where you're stuck in your own mess, comparing yourself to everyone who seems to have it together, and your brain keeps dragging you back to every hard thing on the list. That's not a character flaw. That's the negativity bias, and your brain is just doing its job. But here's what Dani heard from her dog groomer this week, and what a stranger on a plane said to her friend mid-rough-day: it's all about perspective. In this episode, Dani shares a story that will stop you cold (the one with a blind girl and a woman with one arm on an airplane), explains why your brain is wired to go negative and how to actually rewire it, and makes the case that contentment is available to you even in the hardest season. Not Pollyanna pretending. Real perspective. She also shares the time a kink in her neck led to the best massage of her life, and why finding the gift inside the hard thing is how you bridge the gap out of the rut faster. Joel 2:25 is threaded throughout: God renews the years the locusts have eaten, and sometimes He does it in an instant. If you're ready to do that work with someone who is in the weeds right alongside you, 1:1 coaching with Dani starts at aholymess.com.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

The airplane story: what a woman with one arm said to a struggling businessman that stopped him cold and reset everything
The negativity bias — the science behind why your brain defaults to hard and how to condition yourself out of it
Why contentment can coexist with hard circumstances, and what it means when it can't
The kink in the neck that led to the best massage Dani's had in years (and what that has to do with finding God in the middle of the mess)

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

232. Made for More: A Reset for the Healing Journey with Guided Meditation

Thursday, June 25, 2026 • Duration 13:22

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

You've been doing the work for years. The healing, the therapy, the journaling, the prayer, the "why am I still like this" spiral. And sometimes the most honest thing anyone can say is: it takes time. It takes repetition. It takes patience. And it takes someone to remind you that the joy is actually in the journey, not sitting at the finish line waiting. In this episode, Dani opens a community call with exactly that kind of recalibration. She talks about what it really looks like to take care of your whole system (physically, emotionally, spiritually), why Romans 8:28 isn't just a nice saying but a daily strategy, and what to do when you inherited someone else's negativity without ever signing up for it. She also shares a client story that will land if you've ever thought "I didn't have it that bad" while still feeling like something's off. And she closes with a guided white light visualization and prayer to help you get present, get grounded, and reconnect with the God who designed you on purpose. If you're ready to stop just circling the mountain and start doing the deeper work, 1:1 coaching with Dani is one conversation away. Start at aholymess.com.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

Why healing takes longer than you want it to, and why that's actually part of the design
The white light visualization Dani guides you through to reset your nervous system and reconnect with God
What inherited negativity looks like when your childhood wasn't obviously traumatic
Romans 8:28 as a daily strategy, not just a comfort verse, and what it looks like to actually put God to the test
Why your overactive brain is a superpower once you aim it at how good things can get

Glad you're here, Dani

Want to Go Deeper? 💫

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're made for more. 🤍

231. The Real Reason You're Burned Out: Your Soul Wants a Seat at the Table

Saturday, June 13, 2026 • Duration 17:04

📞 Ready to talk? Book a free discovery call with Dani → https://calendly.com/danisumner

The Real Reason You're Burned Out: Your Soul Wants a Seat at the Table

You've achieved. You've raised the family. You've done right by God. And somewhere along the way you woke up feeling numb, lost, like you've been a passenger in your own life. In this episode (recorded mid-walk in Dani's backyard), she gets real about waking your soul back up, giving her a seat at the table, and becoming the main character of your own life again.

In this episode, Dani talks about:

Why striver-women lose themselves while doing all the right things

The difference between your soul's voice and your shitty committee's voice

A guided soul check-in you can do right now (breathing + "soul, what do you need?")

"Everything is awkward until it's elegant": permission to be new at this

Glad you're here, Dani

🎙️ Mentioned in the Episode The "couple drinks on accident" episode Dani referenced: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-holy-mess-nervous-system-somatic-regret-exhausted/id1593131576?i=1000649031720

Want to Go Deeper? 💫 Book a free discovery call at aholymess.com (or jump straight to calendly.com/danisumner to grab a spot right now). 1:1 coaching for the deep work. Life Coach Certification if you feel called to do this for others (or just to become a better human). No magic wand. No magic pill. Just the process, and you don't have to do it alone.

If this episode spoke to you, leave a review and share it with a friend who needs to hear they're not where they used to be. 🤍

A HOLY MESS | Nervous System, Somatic, Regret, Exhausted, Burnout, Boundaries, Emotional Healing, Christian Mindset, Recovery - Details, episodes & analysis

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A HOLY MESS | Nervous System, Somatic, Regret, Exhausted, Burnout, Boundaries, Emotional Healing, Christian Mindset, Recovery - Details, episodes & analysis

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