In 1993, Brooke McEldowney began writing and drawing the newspaper comic strip 9 Chickweed Lane. Nearly 30 years later, it's still going strong. For some dumb reason, Brooke Dillman and Jeff Drake read the comic strip, even though it only makes them angry. This is their podcast, certainly one of the worst ideas for a podcast ever: a podcast about a newspaper comic strip that (as far as they know) no one reads. This is 9 CHICKWEED RAGE.
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In the days leading up to the wedding of Amos and Edda, Edda tries to seduce her (mostly) gay roommate Seth. He rebuffs her, or does he? She's engaged to Amos, but she (at the very least) dry humps his knee. He says no. But then (apparently?) he changes his mind and has sex with her anyway. Later, that same night? Later, like, the next day? It's impossible to decipher. But later she has sex with Amos and declares to him that she has always loved him. Both she and Seth lie about what happened. Amos seems to know what really happened but shoves it down deep inside so he can carry on living inside The Greatest Love Affair The World Has Ever Seen. As a result of whatever Edda did with Seth, she wants to elope. But they're stopped by Juliette and Seth who both want there to be a regular wedding, for very different reasons. Juliette wants a wedding she can attend, Seth wants Edda to wear the wedding dress he made her. The reasons he made the dress were to make Amos so amazed by her beauty that he would feel inferior and run to Seth for comfort, so Seth could then fuck Amos. Guys, this is actually what he says out loud in the strip. They get married. Their dog sniffs Eddas ass. And The Greatest Love Affair The World Has Ever Seen continues!
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
You can find all of the strips on Instagram by [clicking here](https://www.instagram.com/p/DGHwroKxPJd/?utmsource=igwebcopylink&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). We've abandoned Twitter, because it's terrible, but you can now find us on Bluesky by clicking here (https://bsky.app/profile/9chickweedrage.bsky.social/post/3libhrs6kv22l).
This disgusting episode includes:
Diet Coke
Buying 9chickweedrage.com
Albania
Coach from Cheers
The Gulf of America
Matilda
Little Annie Rooney
Billy Budd
Siege of Vicksburg
Cameltoe on both shoulders
the Ben Franklin
Odysseus
McEldowney ellipses
corn niblet teeth
bag of Scrabble tiles
Van Halen / Van Hagar / Van Hoesen
Chimney sweeps
crab claw hands
see you next Tuesday
turtlenecks
It Happened One Night
Howdy Doody
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Bluesky: @9ChickweedRAGE.bsky.social (https://bsky.app/profile/9chickweedrage.bsky.social). And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage (https://www.instagram.com/9chickweedrage/).
039: Would You Mind Spitting In My Mask?
Tuesday, December 24, 2024 • Duration 01:38:01
Amos and Edda are in a body of water, so that of course means that it is unclear: a) what kind of body of water it is, b) how deep the water is, and c) if there are any other people around. Amos threatens (promises?) to drown himself waiting for Edda to swim by again. I mean, they're married or at least dating at this point, so I'm not sure why he's being so stealthy about looking at her. Later, he sees legs under the water and decides to swim through them BEFORE BEING CERTAIN THEY BELONG TO EDDA. It ends up being Edda, who traps him between her thighs (metaphor!), and then he basically stays there, with his head pressed against her vagina. Mostly, it's the top of his head, which is confusing but also a bit of a relief. There's a moment where it totally seems like Ol' Mac-El-Dee wanted to imply that Amos was going downtown while in the pool, but the way it's drawn would rule that out. Physical impossibility rears its head in a strip where it appears Edda has removed Amos's head from his body. In the end, they either fuck, drown, or fart jointly under the water. Because ROMANCE! In a bonus strip, Edda dance/romances a dead-eyed Amos (is there any other kind?) and ends up kissing him while standing with her feet on his shoulders. Yeah. Try to imagine what that looks like. And good luck!
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
You can find all of the strips on Instagram by clicking here (https://www.instagram.com/p/C_cGP8up0MM/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==). We've abandoned our Twitter presence, but you can now find us on Bluesky by clicking here (https://bsky.app/profile/9chickweedrage.bsky.social).
This suspiciously bubbly episode includes:
Headphones vs. Earsets
Jigsaw puzzles
Kansas City
Is Stroud's Fried Chicken still around? Yes, it is (https://www.stroudsrestaurant.com/).
Sudoku
Jigsaw Chat!
Brooke's hair surprises!
The official beginning of Spring
Crocuses are fucking useless
Stretch Armstrong
Australian Crawl
Giantesses
Catywampus and Kitty-Corner
9-1-1 & 9-1-1 Lone Star
Thigh gap
Becky Thatcher
A bit of a Ben Franklin
Milk Milk Lemonade
Little House on the Prairie
Slingblade
"Can't Touch This!" by MC Hammer
"Bad Girls" by Donna Summer
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Bluesky: @9ChickweedRAGE.bsky.social (https://bsky.app/profile/9chickweedrage.bsky.social). And we're on Instagram: @9ChickweedRage (https://www.instagram.com/9chickweedrage/).
030: Me Not So Hot With Scream
Monday, October 30, 2023 • Duration 01:39:56
Despite repeated mysterious technical difficulties, Brooke and Jeff persevered to bring you the 30th installment of this very important podcast. Was it worth all of the trouble? Of course the answer is no, probably not. But we begin with the aftermath of a date between Gil and Janice, the Nicolette Cignet photographer and Edda's friend and rival from the dance company we met way back in Episode 24: They Wanted You to Model Because of Sitzfleisch Allure (https://www.9chickweedrage.com/024). Gil is getting advice from Seth and Mark and tells them that he did not in fact bone Janice at the end of the date (which was their expectation), but instead kissed her on the left corner of her mouth. This move, according to Mark, is akin to "lighting a sensual fuse." Edda doesn't believe it, but Amos tries it and transports them to a series of famous romantic movies. First La Dolce Vita, then From Here to Eternity, Casablanca, It Happened One Night (which Jeff mistakenly places in 1939 instead of 1934, sorry!), before veering to North By Northwest and settling into the Tarzan canon. There are so many Tarzan strips, guys. It's all very, very stupid. But we soldiered on through multiple glitches and made it happen. Just for you! Also, Jeff tries really hard to explain Schrödinger's Cat to make a metaphorical point, only to fail in his explanation and then to fail to remember exactly why he was trying to make the point in the first place.
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
You can find all of the strips either on Twitter by clicking here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1718430506940059796?s=20) or on Instagram by clicking here (https://www.instagram.com/p/Cy9o0MipPU7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==).
This kiss-induced dream episode includes:
KU vs. MU
Mullets
Coup d'etat
Bartleby the Scrivener
Fletch talks about the filth and gunk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjJYNZirQCU)
Nicolette Sheridan/Nicolette Cignet
Kevin Smith
George Santos and Steve Bannon
Form-fitting turtleneck mini-dress
DTF
Turtlenecks
Ellipses!
Ezio Pinza singing (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktvnNhwBaeY) "Some Enchanted Evening" from Some Enchanted Evening
Records on 78
The Library of Congress
Ball-cupping
Beavers
The Trevi Fountain (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIz-BgNYN20) from La Dolce Vita
Gumby
Form-Fitting Neck-Brace Turtleneck
From Here to Eternity
Casablanca
It Happened One Night
North By Northwest
Tarzan
Obstetrics
Laurel & Hardy
Schrödinger's Cat (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat) explained so much better than Jeff tried to
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)
029: Dr. Greene Inhaled His Cough Drop
Monday, October 9, 2023 • Duration 01:30:43
Well, we've been gone for two months but we're back! And if you thought that this stupid comic strip wasn't still stupid, boy, are you in for a rude awakening! All the same old shit is still there: turtlenecks, Dutch angles, references to starlets of the '30s and '40s, no backgrounds, the McEldowney ellipsis! Oh, how did we survive all these weeks without these? Anyway, this stupid storyline is about Juliette and her boyfriend Elliott, whom everyone hates. (Including us!) One version of this story would be to say that he shows up to propose to her and ends up in the hospital. But it's all so fucking convoluted and the story changes with each new development. At first, Juliette is pretty confident that Elliott might pop the question, but she's not certain, so she wears a sexy dress to help him "pop." But later we discover that he proposes to her on a weekly basis. Then, we find out that the minute Elliott walked through the door, he inhaled a cough drop and needed medical attention. But later, we're told that he didn't inhale the cough drop until after she said yes. But even later, we're told that her dress caused him to have "an episode." And a doctor tells us that he inhaled a cough drop but then had an arrhythmia. Anyway, none of it makes any sense, especially the part where Elliott ends up in the ICU for more than a day. To confuse things even more, Brooke and Jeff talk about the ICU like it's the Emergency Room. But then again, that seems to be interchangeable with Brooke Mac-El-Dee as well. Later, a cat motorboats Juliette's boobs. And in the end, no one really gives a shit about what happened to Elliott because they're too busy talking about Juliette's dress. Spoiler alert: She's the sexiest person in the ICU and she loves it!
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
Edda and Juliette mention Jean Harlow, Juliette promises to make Elliott "pop," Elliott chokes on his cough drop, and a doctor stares at Juliette's boobs are here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1710366406557220951?s=20).
The "lethal, shrink-wrap, halter-top gown," Edda getting mad because her gay roommate thinks her mom is sexier, and Juliette looking hot (and enjoying it) in the ICU are here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1710366408151056421?s=20).
A cat motorboats Juliette's boobs, Amos talks about his fetid corpse, and Elliott somehow on his deathbed are here (https://x.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1710366410550190305?s=20).
This lethal, shrink-wrapped episode includes:
Dive, Dove, Doven?
Phones, both corded and cordless
Auntie Mame
Turtlenecks!
Jean Harlow
Fisher-Price Little People (https://shop.mattel.com/collections/little-people)
Dutch Angles!
The character design from [Shark Tale](https://www.google.com/search?scaesv=569938233&sxsrf=AM9HkKlxERVw5MfqrxGptUaJi-AqJDQ4g:1696289606532&q=A+shark+tale&tbm=isch&source=lnms&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjcxLubw9iBAxVXJEQIHaNEPUEQ0pQJegQIDhAB&biw=1301&bih=802&dpr=2).
No backgrounds!
Cough drops
Jolly Ranchers
Arrhythmia
Chekhov's Gun (https://www.masterclass.com/articles/writing-101-what-is-chekhovs-gun-learn-how-to-use-chekhovs-gun-in-your-writing)
Les Nessman's bandages (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Nessman)
The McEldowney ellipsis!
Crystal Gayle
Being motorboated by a cat
The ICU
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)
028: I'll Just Serve You A Colossal Jong-Jong
Tuesday, July 18, 2023 • Duration 01:28:08
Inspired by the 4th of July (I guess), we go all the way back to the beginning and take a look at the very first Chickweed strips. Brooke Mac-El-Dee comes right out of the gate with Juliette talking with Edda about physical attractiveness and how that's very important to catch a man. Edda at this point is maybe 12, so this is a TOTALLY NORMAL AND APPROPRIATE conversation for a mother to have. But don't worry. Things get WAY MORE inappropriate pretty quickly. Isn't it comforting to know that this horrible comic strip was horrible in exactly the same ways from the beginning? Following up Juliette's lessons in female attractiveness, pre-teenage Edda already expresses what can only be described as Championship Level Body Dysmorphia. Classic Mac-El-Dee! There's a whole Sunday strip about a fly. Twelve-year-old Amos, who looks either drowned or electrocuted or both, spends an entire strip sniffing Edda...at her request of course. Sophia Loren's "bosom" is described as "proud." Edda shames her mother for not getting boned on a date. Then later the two of them celebrate Juliette finding her boyfriend's "button" and "pushing it." Which I suppose means she had sex. Edda encourages Amos to imagine random adults they're looking at naked. So that's totally cool also. And finally we spend about ten solid minutes trying to figure out what "I'll just serve you a colossal jong-jong" means.
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
Juliette teaches Edda about the necessity of being attractive and Edda expressing her complicated body dysmorphia ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1681133741673172992?s=20).
A Sunday strip all about a dumb fly and Amos uncomfortably and repeatedly sniffing Edda ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1681133743338315779?s=20).
Sophia Loren's "proud bosom," Juliette's inability to transform a man into a "gelatinous blob of slavering desire," and Amos showing his leg to some other boys ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1681133745057980417?s=20).
Juliette talks to Edda about finding and pushing her boyfriend's button, Edda and Amos imagining adult strangers naked, and the famous colossal jong-jong ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1681133746786045953?s=20).
This gelatinous, colossal episode includes:
4th of July
Joey Chestnut
Eating harmonicas
Christmas
Free Will
Major League Eating
"76 Trombones (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdd6q0pW4DM)" from The Music Man
Funnel Cakes
Pizza Hut P'Zone
Dutch ovens
Twinkies
International waters
Barbie dolls
Lauren Bacall
Muppets
Telly the Monster
Dorothy Hamill
Scent of a Woman and Al Pacino's catchphrase (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dNeIAxll2A)
Sophia Loren
Slavering
Imagining everyone naked
Fast Times at Ridgemont High
The Colossal Jong-Jong
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)
027: My Speculations on Her Mother's Species
Monday, June 5, 2023 • Duration 01:32:03
We could not resist the gravitational pull of the international cello competition that Amos won. You remember it, right? He and Edda got caught on camera (by a news balloon of course) having sex and then people complained that the sex tape (which everyone in the world saw) gave Amos an unfair advantage. So now we dive into the aftermath. It's 20 strips this episode, sorry guys! It's a re-match between Amos and Xiulan Yuan, and the competition will happen behind a screen and the contestants will have to switch cellos. Because of course both of those things make sense. For no good reason at all, other than Brooke McEldowney's hatred of women maybe, Edda hates Xiulan and decides to be a racist right to her face. It's fine (and funny?) I guess because Xiulan doesn't speak English. The competition happens, behind the screen, in front of an audience who paid good money to look at a screen on a stage. Instead of feeling ripped off, the audience hears Amos's cello playing and starts fucking basically. Just like always. Even people listening on a streaming broadcast end up fucking. Amos wins, of course, although he appears bored to be there for the entirety of the run. To cap it off, two nuns scissor from the joy of it. Pretty fucking typical for this comic strip.
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
Headlines explain the outrage, Juliette phones Edda in Brussels, and Amos switches cellos ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406916313645056?s=20).
Seth wants Amos to "moitelize" Xiulan, Isabel Florin says an indecipherable four word phrase, and Edda quotes Rocky ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406918796496897?s=20).
Amos wishes Xiulan luck, Edda is a racist, and Juliette wishes Seth wasn't gay ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406922185641984?s=20).
Amos and Xiulan draw straws, Edda fogs up Amos's glasses, and we see a screen on a stage ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406924790325248?s=20).
Edda plays the one-key piano filled with milk, Edda and Amos are overcome with the passion of playing, and we see their weird sex arms, too many of which are left arms ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406927155625986?s=20).
Everyone listening starts fucking, second prize is awarded, and Edda flings her body toward a bored Amos ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406930024558593?s=20).
Amos changes into a blue suit for the on-stage celebration and two nuns do it ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1665406933099003907?s=20).
This episode, which was performed behind a screen, includes:
Winnebago Man
VHS
Cut my gums off
Silly Putty
New Math
"Love is in the Air" by John Paul Young (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNC0kIzM1Fo)
The World Wide Web
Once Upon a One More Time (https://onemoretimemusical.com/) on Broadway
Ripped from the headlines
The Speed Cubers on Netflix (https://www.netflix.com/title/81092143)
Turtlenecks
Edda's tragic baldness
Benjamin Franklin
Enslaved by the exclamation point
Macaroni microphone
Jeff Beck
Bugs Bunny
The Bowery Boys
Rocky
Sea cucumbers
The Bluey episode called "Pavlova" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NqbB79mVyc)
The Price is Right and Truth or Consequences
Dutch angles
Two left arms
Full corn niblet mouth
Scissoring nuns
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)
026: The Wattles and the Flapping Flesh
Tuesday, May 9, 2023 • Duration 01:31:48
Here we are introduced to 60-year-old Arthur Peel and his assistant Nan-Lin Peel (no relation), who is thirty years younger than him. Arthur excuses himself for being a disgusting old man, with a balding head, hair coming out of his ears and nose and eyebrows, wattles, and flapping flesh. These are his descriptions of himself, although Brooke Mac-El-Dee doesn't take the time to actually draw him that way. He is balding, but he has thin, very well groomed eyebrows, no visible wattles and few wrinkles to speak of. He repeats this stuff over and over to Nan-Lin, who seems bored and beaten down by his monologue. (You and us both, sister!) Of course, when Arthur adds that he is in love with her, this changes everything for Nan-Lin, who then literally crawls across a table to kiss him. Arthur, in typical Chickweed style, doesn't understand what's happening or that Nan-Lin wants his wrinkly and flapping Johnson. He looks terrified and concerned for all fourteen (yeah, sorry) of these strips. She even gets up on the table and presents her beave to him. Still, he doesn't fucking understand what's going on. Because...it's funny, I guess? Anyway, she eventually slides into his lap and then they disappear under the table. At this point, we discover that they are in a restaurant. The waiter arrives and is unfazed by their near-fucking in the booth. So much so, he takes their order, and then seats two other guests across from them. These guests, Seth and his boyfriend, don't notice that there's a couple moments away from intercourse across the booth from them. And they begin to make out too. At this point, both couples notice each other. Embarrassed (?) Arthur and Nan-Lin bolt from the restaurant, but not before Arthur gives the waiter a huge tip. The waiter then claims he's in love. Which must be a joke, but isn't funny really. And also makes no sense in any context provided. But what the fuck were we expecting anyway, right?
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh, Arthur talks about his wattles and flapping flesh AGAIN, and Arthur talks about his wattles but NOT his flapping flesh ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737341502451712?s=20).
Nan-Lin presents her beave, Nan-Lin ends up in Arthur's lap, and Arthur and Nan-Lin end up lying down in a booth in a restaurant ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737343490535426?s=20).
The waiter arrives to take their order, Nan-Lin and Arthur hear the waiter but just keep dry humping, and the waiter seats another couple opposite them ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737345512202240?s=20).
Seth and Mark immediately begin to make out, Seth and Mark notice Arthur and Nan-Lin, and the waiter insists on a big tip ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737347315728385?s=20).
The phrase "get a room" is uttered and the waiter falls in love with giant money ARE HERE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1655737349370974209?s=20).
This key party-adjacent episode includes:
What is the name of our favorite celebratory march?
Cell phones in cars
2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid
Classic moment (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YT0CScFzp1o) from The Man With Two Brains.
Lou Bega's Mambo No. 5 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EK_LN3XEcnw).
Brooke's Broadway musical
Defibrillator
Paper pants
MRIs
Metal underwear/chastity belts/codpieces
Where "Bust a moo" originally came from (https://www.movieposters.com/products/home-on-the-range-mpw-8275).
Adam Godley
"Hot in Herre" by Nelly (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeZZr_p6vB8)
McEldowney ellipsis
Ball wattles
Gilbert & Sullivan
Classical symphony orgasm (https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/la-philharmonic-concert-loud-and-full-body-orgasm-b2330648.html)
Pro-butt/Am-butt
21 Beave Salute
Motorboating
Laura Ingalls Wilder
Turtlenecks
Shrek
Bluey's "cone of shame!" episode (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkj66AEODE4)
Throuples
The Case of the Disappearing Mustache!
Scooby Doo
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)
025: Tales of Eight Cylinders and Virginal Odometers
Monday, April 17, 2023 • Duration 01:18:35
In this episode, we dive into Amos's subconscious, which is predictably icky. Amos describes a dream he had the previous night. He headlines it as a dream where Edda went to buy a car. But what the dream is really about is how the car salesman sexually assaulted her. So, at least we know where Amos's priorities lie. The Ol' Mac-El-Dee makes a big point of repeating (endlessly) that the salesman's name was "Wilkins or Fortescue," as if that is, by it's nature a very funny piece of business, which it is not. Also, and not for nothing, the salesman looks a lot, A LOT, like Amos. So I guess that's maybe the point? It's a rape fantasy that Amos is having? It's all filled with car-related double entendres, because of course it is. Edda assumes, from Amos's description that her dream self simply gave herself to the car salesman, which shows where her priorities lie, I guess. Amos spends most of the dream choosing tea at Zabar's. As if that's a great place to choose tea. But then he rushes in to save her. I mean, not "rushes in," per se. He had to choose his fucking tea first. But he enters the dealership and pushes the salesman "onto his beezer." Whatever the fuck that means. In the end, Edda gets turned on by Amos and, while they're walking down the street, throws her vagina at his face. Seriously. Wait till you see the picture. It's fucking ridiculous. Also impossible.
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
Wilkins or Fortescue descends on Edda and Amos chooses his tea at Zabar's are right here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1647015657731661824?s=20).
Amos pushes Wilkins or Forescue onto his beezer, Earl Grey keeps his secrets, and the Mac-El-Dee Walkin' C are right here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1647015659673649157?s=20).
This nightmarish episode includes:
Mullets
Headphones
Brooke's new comedy routine
Improv
Stuck in a closet
Listener feedback
"Tasty poopers"
Urban slang
Joe Biden
Abe Vigoda
Everything Everywhere All At Once
Harry Potter hands
8-cylinder cars
Andy Capp (https://www.gocomics.com/andycapp)
Marathon Man
"Is it safe?" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzw1_2b-I7A)
Zabar's
Dean & Deluca
In 'N' Out
The Russian Tea Room
Walking cunnilingus
The Bachelor
Lawn chairs & ironing boards
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)
024: They Wanted You to Model Because of Sitzfleisch Allure
Monday, March 27, 2023 • Duration 01:32:19
Edda's modeling career begins when a scout for the famous designer Nicolette Cignet picks Edda from everyone else in her dance company because of her nice butt. Only, Brooke Mac-El-Dee never says "nice butt," he prefers to say "caboose" over and over and over, with a brief digression to "sitzfleisch" from Amos. The twist is that they only want Edda for her butt and they want Janice to be the face. So, even though it makes zero sense, they'll use both of them: Janice's face and Edda's butt. There is no exploration of whose midriff and boobs will make the cut. Which, frankly, is a little surprising. Edda is angry to find out she's Janice's butt double. But showbiz is showbiz, right? The lone photographer sent to shoot this very important ad campaign takes his photos. They are terrible. Along the way, we are subjected to "undie-carriage," "golden hind," "sealing the deal," and "licking their chops." It's super gross. Edda ends up angry about butts, which takes us back around to one of the Thanksgiving strips we looked at, and helps us put in context why Edda was so mad about people saying "butt" all around her.
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
Edda finds out the Nicolette Cignet people want to talk to her, Seth throws shade at Edda for it, and Seth goes out of his way to use "terpsichorean" are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1639677943285956608?s=20).
Amos says "sitzfleisch" for no good reason, Edda and Janice find out they're both there for the job, and Edda and Janice shit talk each other's butts are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1639677945110487040?s=20).
Edda finds out she's Janice's butt double, Gil explains why the Nicolette Cignet logo can't be seen on a small butt, and Gil sprays Janice with oil and water are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1639677946893053952?s=20).
Gil takes his questionable photos, Edda and Janice talk about ballet being hard, and the truly terrible photo campaign are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1639677948948287489?s=20).
We're introduced to the phrase "undie-carriage" and Edda goes on her Thanksgiving Butt Walk are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1639677951422906368?s=20).
This award-winning, then award-losing episode includes:
Heart rates
The will to live
Urine drinking
Willie Nelson
The Huggle
Neck muscles
Steroids
Autopsy impressions
Rich Little is STILL doing impressions (https://www.cbsnews.com/news/rich-little-still-making-a-great-impression/)?
Fred Travelina
"The Way We Were" by Barbra Streisand (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifWOSnoCS0M)
"Welcome Back Kotter" theme song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZzEzDkeHzI).
Dutch Angle
The Terpsichorean Arts
Sitzfleisch
Cabooses
Lobster claws
Chaps vs. Shaps
Van der Graaf Generator
Butt Doubles
Body Shaming
Coco from Fame
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Sergio Valente Jeans
Cross-Country Travel
Transporting Ashes
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)
023: A Very, Very Good Glass of Water
Monday, February 20, 2023 • Duration 01:24:11
After Edda "cures" Amos's hiccups, he takes the stage, first without his cello (hilarious!) and then with it. His performance, which is of course watched via satellite by all of his family and friends, inspires so much passion, that Juliette fucks Elliott on the couch right next to Nan. It also inspires Isabel to have sex with her boyfriend and Seth to make up with Mark, who appears here as a doll or small child. Amos finishes his performance and everyone there loses their minds, throwing their programs in the air and then roses at Amos and Edda. Naturally, the judges unanimously award the grand prize to Amos, who honestly looks like he doesn't give a shit and would rather be anywhere else but there. The victory is short-lived because of the sex tape that everyone saw. You know, because that caused an unfair advantage. Amos asks for another juried performance and then fucks Edda at the press conference. And that's where we leave Brussels, because this just goes on and on and we've truly had enough. (Part 3 of 3)
The Chickweed strips we discuss this episode:
Two Belgian perverts listen to Amos & Edda have sex, Amos & Edda finish having sex, Amos forgets his cello, then Amos forgets he's at a competition are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1627658453236981760?s=20).
Amos & Edda begin their performance, the audience falls in love, Juliette & Elliott have sex next to Gran, and Isabel accosts her boyfriend are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1627658456625991681?s=20).
Seth reunites with Mark, the audience throws their programs, the audience throws roses, and Amos gives Edda a rose are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1627658459931119619?s=20).
Brooke Mac-El-Dee makes an ellipsis joke, Edda floats up to heaven, Amos and Edda get a phone call, and Edda finally has to tell Amos about the sex tape are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1627658463382994944?s=20).
Amos doesn't care about the sex tape and Amos & Edda have sex at a press conference are here (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE/status/1627658466302230528?s=20).
This award-winning, then award-losing episode includes:
Drug commercials
Resting heart rates
The Actor's Nightmare
Broadway
Stupid computers
Lurking outside doors
Claude the Cat
Showgirls
Yo-Yo Ma performs Bach's Cello Suite No. 1 in G Major (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1prweT95Mo0).
"Great Balls of Fire" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F569_t2jCio) by Jerry Lee Lewis
Poltergeist
The clown scene is here (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZOnLUt7OI4) and starts at 2:22.
The vulva
Sex in front of your mom
Turtlenecks!
Console TVs, much like this one (https://www.ebay.com/itm/174787590138?chn=ps&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-117182-37290-0&mkcid=2&mkscid=101&itemid=174787590138&targetid=1262749491542&device=c&mktype=&googleloc=9031194&poi=&campaignid=14859008593&mkgroupid=130497710760&rlsatarget=pla-1262749491542&abcId=9300678&merchantid=6296724&gclid=Cj0KCQiAi8KfBhCuARIsADp-A55qOrLDnpRrQ2lb9akFKcqkCiQVzgDHs-4dkQ0WG44bXsm_nWKByFUaAtXSEALw_wcB).
Raggedy Andy Doll
Bats!
Caligula
Roses
Melissa Manchester sings (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGmYnKsuSh0) "Please Don't Let This Feeling End."
Ellipses!
E.T.
More turtlenecks!
Sweet Greens
Souplantation
Talk to Us!
Having trouble understanding what's going on in a 9 Chickweed Lane strip you just read? Send it our way! We'll take a shot at interpreting it for you! Or maybe you just want someone to talk to?
We're on Twitter: @9ChickweedRAGE (https://twitter.com/9chickweedRAGE)
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