2HotWives - A Girl's Guide to Unconventional Sex – Details, episodes & analysis

In this episode, Ams and Kat take control in the bedroom by exploring domination, including an interview with professional Dominatrix, Queen Lo.  

A Dominatrix, or Femme Domme, a woman who takes the dominant role in a BDSM power play experience. A Dominatrix is "in charge" in the bedroom, but are we all just dressing the part and not actually taking control?

But first, mix up this episode's Canna-cocktail, the Rosemary Grapefruit Fizz, while Ams shares her Hot Tale: during the Barbarella-themed house party, Ams slips away with six of her favorite guys for a seven-minute, Alien Abduction role play.  

Next, Ams and Kat explore past experience with dominating partners in bed.  Kat loves the clothes and the overall vibe of being in charge, but Ams, a submissive, struggles with channeling her dominant self.

To learn more about Femme Domme, the Wives interview professional dominatrix, Queen Lo. 

Finally, the Wives set themselves sexy homework, setting up power play scenes with the Misters. 

ABOUT QUEEN LO

Queen Lo is a professional dominatrix and host of the podcast “Thy Queendom Come,” which provides an honest (and often hilarious) look at sexuality and power dynamics in the bedroom and beyond. She works with clients online from her home in the tropics and in person through tours and custom sessions, specializing in teaching men the power of sacred submission. Visit her online at thyqueendom.com for more information and to get in touch.

WANT TO BOOK A SESSION WITH A PROFESSIONAL DOMINATRIX?

When discussing a power play scene with a dominatrix, it's essential to ensure clear communication and establish boundaries to make the experience safe and enjoyable for both you and your partner. Here are some questions you might consider asking:

1. Experience and Approach:
   • How long have you been practicing BDSM, particularly as a dominatrix?
   • What is your approach to creating and executing power play scenes?
   • Can you provide examples of previous scenes you've facilitated?
2. Limits and Boundaries:
   • How do you establish and respect boundaries during a power play scene?
   • What are your hard limits, and are there any activities you won't engage in?
   • How do you handle it if either participant feels uncomfortable during the scene?
3. Communication:
   • How do you encourage open communication before, during, and after a scene?
   • Do you have a safe word system in place, and how does it work?
   • Are there any specific questions you suggest partners discuss before engaging in a power play scene?
4. Safety and Consent:
   • What measures do you take to ensure physical and emotional safety during a scene?
   • How do you verify consent throughout the scene?
   • What steps do you take to mitigate risks associated with BDSM activities?
5. Preparation and Aftercare:
   • How should partners prepare for a power play scene mentally and physically?
   • What does aftercare typically involve, and how do you support participants during this phase?
   • Are there any potential psychological or emotional effects partners should be aware of?
6. Customization and Preferences:
   • How do you tailor power play scenes to meet the preferences and comfort levels of each participant?
   • Can partners request specific elements or scenarios to be included in the scene?
   • Are there any particular dynamics or roles you specialize in, or can accommodate?
7. Logistics and Practicalities:
   • Where do sessions typically take place, and what amenities or equipment are available?
   • How long do sessions usually last, and what is the scheduling process like?
   • What are your policies regarding confidentiality and privacy?
8. Education and Resources:
   • Do you offer resources or educational materials for partners new to BDSM or power play scenes?
   • Are there any workshops or community events you recommend for further learning?

Remember, open and honest communication is key when discussing BDSM activities, especially when exploring power dynamics. It's essential to prioritize safety, trust, and mutual respect throughout the process.

MORE FEMME DOMME RESOURCES

https://www.kinkacademy.com/category/subject-matter/dominance/

https://x.com/drksexeducator?s=21&t=hSGtdO1zrFzW6YbcsZ4yeg

@drksexeducator

https://www.losangelesdominatrix.com/classes/

@justineplayshttps://domsubliving.com/courses/

@domsubliving

How did the Wives do with their sexy pornography homework?  Tune in to find out. 

But first, check out this episode’s Canna-cocktail, the Cherry Blossom Smash: a yummy combination or cherries and blood orange juice with just a dash of cannabis tincture.  Sip on this delicious cocktail listening to this episode's Hot Tale: the Wives host a Barbarella-themed house party and they get up to no good, with flogging, blindfolded kissing, eight-handed massages, and more!

Next, the Wives report back on their sexy homework: who's ready for a week-long, porn-o-thon?  The Wives were so inspired by the hot, female empowered pornography, they start making plans to create their own.. 

Finally, the Wives give their tips on finding porn that feels female empowered and ethical. 

MORE ABOUT ETHICAL AND FEMINIST PORNOGRAPHY

The concept of "ethical pornography" is subjective and can vary depending on individual perspectives and values. Generally, it refers to the production and consumption of adult content that aligns with ethical principles and values, such as consent, fair labor practices, and respect for performers. Ethical pornography may prioritize factors like transparency, communication, and empowerment of the individuals involved in its creation.

Key elements often associated with ethical pornography include:

1.     Consent: Ensuring that all participants willingly and enthusiastically agree to be part of the production.
2.     Fair Labor Practices: Treating performers and other personnel involved in the production with respect, fair wages, and safe working conditions.
3.     Diversity and Inclusivity: Representing a diverse range of body types, genders, ethnicities, and sexual orientations to promote inclusivity and avoid reinforcing harmful stereotypes.
4.     Authenticity: Presenting realistic and consensual scenarios rather than perpetuating harmful or exploitative narratives.
5.     Transparency: Providing clear information about the production process, including the treatment of performers and the ethical standards followed.

Feminist pornography is a genre of adult content created with the aim of promoting gender equality, empowerment, and consent. It challenges traditional pornography that often objectifies and degrades women by portraying them as passive objects of male desire. Instead, feminist pornography seeks to depict sexuality in a more realistic and respectful manner, often emphasizing communication, mutual pleasure, and diversity.

Key features of feminist pornography may include:

1. Consent: Scenes depict enthusiastic and explicit consent between all participants, ensuring that no one is coerced or objectified.
2. Diversity: It embraces diverse body types, sexual orientations, gender identities, and ethnicities, representing a wider range of human experiences and desires.
3. Authenticity: Scenes may focus on real intimacy and connection rather than exaggerated performances. This can involve more realistic portrayals of pleasure and arousal.
4. Empowerment: Women are often depicted as active agents in their sexual encounters, exploring their desires and expressing their own pleasure.
5. Ethical Production: There is a commitment to fair labor practices, including fair wages and safe working conditions for performers, as well as respectful treatment both on and off-camera.

Feminist pornography aims to challenge societal norms and stereotypes surrounding sexuality and promote a more inclusive and respectful approach to adult content. It seeks to provide alternatives for individuals who may find traditional pornography problematic or alienating.

It's important to note that the definition of ethical and feminist pornography may vary among individuals, and what is considered ethical or feminist by one person may not be the same for another.

If you are interested in supporting ethical or feminist adult content, you may want to research and choose producers or platforms that align with your values and priorities.

Bellesa.co: traditional, graphic porn, produced by women 

Sssh.com: Female-led and Female-focused we're your source for ethically produced, explicit, sex-positive films.

Afterglow. Porn by women; for everybody.  Quiz and free video based on results. 

Frolic me Beautiful erotica

Lustery real couple amateur porn. 

Ersties fun, female produced porn with lots of tutorials

ForPlay Films erotica for women, by women

How did the Wives come up with "Use Your Words" and do they follow their own advice? 

Do the Wives still play on the second date? 

Does Kat still use her Bedazzler before each theme party?

What other stories and advice from Season 1 is still true and what has changed?

In this episode, Ams and Kat reflect on Season 1: the good, the bad and the silly. 

The Wives developed the idea of the podcast while in COVID lockdown, thinking if they can't play, why not talk about it in front of a microphone!

They discuss how their play style has changed over time and discuss the definition of a demisexual and demisexuality. 

They also share behind the scenes details on the recording and production process of the podcast.

Now is a great time to re-listen to Season 1 while you wait for Season 4 to launch.

Links to episodes from Season 1:

2HotWives Use Their Words

2HotWives Hit the Dating Scene

2HotWives Get to Play

All About Erotica! (aka: The Wives Turbo Charge Their Sex Drive and Level Up Their Fantasies Through Sexy Stories)

Impact Play (aka: This will only hurt a little bit)

Triggers (aka: When Rough Sex Triggers Bad Feels)

Sexy Dress Up

Role Play the 2HotWives Way

Did the 2HotWives break up?  Did they get divorced?  Maybe they set sail on the Bliss cruise and never returned???

The Wives are back to bring you an update on what's been happening in their lives since they last got in front of the microphone and to let you know that Season 4 will start on October 4th. 

The Wives are excited to share new hot tales and sexy advice on swinging, polyamory and kink. 

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode and article discusses consensual non-consent. Consensual non-consent, or rape play, involves consenting adults pretending not to consent to sexual activities, and may be triggering to some people, especially survivors of sexual assault. Please use your discretion as to whether or not this content is right for you.

Is the reality of rape play as hot as the fantasy? Time to check in with the Wives on their homework! 

Have you ever fantasized about being ravished by a handsome burglar?  Did you grow up reading “bodice ripper” romance novels and want to play out the scenes that you read?  Do you sometimes hope your trusted partner will take what he (or she) wants, no matter how hard you protest or struggle?  If yes, then you might be into Consensual Non-Consent. 

In this episode, the Wives report back on their sexy homework with CNC. 

But first, check out this episode's cocktail, the Apple Bomb (be careful, this drink is deceptively strong!), while Kat shares her Hot Tale.  After exploring  intense CNC  experiences, Kat and Mr. Kat enjoy a sweet and slippery night with LOTS of Coconut Oil!

Then, the Wives share their sexy homework on Consensual Non-Consent. 

Ams and Mr. Ams tries a "midnight intruder" scene, with mixed results, but has better luck with dirty talk and impromptu forced pleasure play.

Kat and Mr. Kat, in the meantime, plan an elaborate punishment and forced exhibitionism scene in a high end hotel, including a surprise visit from a stranger!

Finally, it’s Just the Tips if you want to rape play with a trusted partner. 

A very special thanks to Abbey Snider for editing assistance on this episode!  You can check out Abbey’s podcast, Sweet Baby Gay at https://abbeydotproductions.com/. 

FOR MORE INFORMATION:

https://sexwithemily.com/consensual-non-consent/

https://www.vice.com/en/article/m7vyk4/consensual-non-consent-meaning 

https://www.reddit.com/r/CNC_Connect/

https://domsubliving.com/5-things-about-consensual-non-consent/

https://badgirlsbible.com/cnc-kink-consensual-non-consent

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/what-is-consensual-non-consent/

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode and article discusses consensual non-consent. Consensual non-consent, or rape play, involves consenting adults pretending not to consent to sexual activities, and may be triggering to some people, especially survivors of sexual assault. Please use your discretion as to whether or not this content is right for you.

Have you ever fantasized about being ravished by a handsome burglar?  Did you grow up reading "bodice ripper" romance novels and want to play out the scenes that you read?  Do you sometimes hope your trusted partner will take what he (or she) wants, no matter how hard you protest or struggle?  If yes, then you might be into Consensual Non-Consent. 

In this episode, the Wives discussed what CNC is and why so many women fantasize about it. They also get excellent advice from tenured professor and relationship coach, Dr. Tara.

But first, it's time for Fall, bitches! Whip up our latest cocktail, the Autumn Sangria while listening to Ams' Hot Tale - after some hot vacation sex with Mr. Kat, Ams gets in trouble with Mr. Ams and he has naughty punishment in store. If you love power play and have a thing for punishment kink, this Hot Tale is for you! 

Then, the Wives discuss their current knowledge past experiences with CNC.

Consensual non-consent, otherwise known as CNC, rape fantasy or rape play, involves consenting adults pretending to engage in forced, coerced or non-consensual sex.

CNC is not one-size fits all. It’s not even just rape play. CNC includes:

• Rape Fantasy – a person is forced to perform sexual acts
• Somnophilia – sexual acts while one person is asleep
• Kidnapping Fantasy – someone is abducted and/or held against their will
• Blackmail Fantasy – the “victim” must do as the blackmailer demands to avoid unpleasant circumstances
• Selling Fantasy – a person is sold for sexual or manual labor against their will
• Hypnosis – A person is hypnotized and used for erotic purposes

As with all the kinks we explore, consent is the key difference between a healthy exploration of sex and a crime.

Also, as with most of the kinks we explore on 2HW, there is no one right way to do this. The Wives deconstruct the components of this type of play and explore each element so that, for any woman who is interested in this kink and wants to explore, she can take what she wants and leave what she doesn’t want.

Because of the sensitive nature of this kink, this episode focuses on our mission of exploring in a safe, female-identifying only space. If you are a male listener and this turns you on, you might be shit-outa-luck if you don’t have an enthusiastically interested partner. We highly recommend that you don’t push an agenda for this kink. Your partner is either enthusiastically interested or not.

But for women who are interested in exploring CNC, hopefully by the end of this episode, you feel a little less alone in your interest, a little more normal, and a little more equipped to explore it in a safe way.

Next, the Wives chat with Dr. Tara, professor and host of the LuvBites podcast on how to explore CNC in a safe, sane and consensual way.

Finally, the Wives assign themselves sexy homework and discuss how to set this up with their potentially reluctant husbands. 

A very special thanks to Abbey Snider for editing assistance on this episode!  You can check out Abbey's podcast, Sweet Baby Gay at https://abbeydotproductions.com/. 

Dr. Tara is a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton (recieved her tenure at the age of 33), an award-winning researcher, a sex and relationship coach, and the host of Luvbites by Dr. Tara Podcast that focuses on sexual wellness and sexploration. Her work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health Magazine, Insider, and other media outlets. She's also the Relationship Tech consultant for Couply and Scratch Adventure mobile apps. 

Time to check in with the Wives on their Exhibitionism homework! 

Are you an exhibitionist? Exhibitionism is a sexual kink in which a person gets turned on by being naked or having sex while someone watches.  Consensual exhibitionism means that all people, watchers and participants, enthusiastically consent to the experience, and that’s the kink this episode focuses on. 

But first, check out this episode's cocktail, the Cucumber Gin Martini (classy!) while Kat doubles-down on exhibitionism with her favorite single guy.  

Then, the Wives share their sexy homework on exhibitionism. 

Ams brings her sexy persona to a very public place when her and 25 of her closest friends enjoy a little cosplay at an outdoor pop up roller rink.  She also plays up exhibitionism closer to home with Mr. Ams and a mirror. 

Kat takes exhibitionism up a notch with a sexy vacation to Austin and a reunion with lifestyle friends. 

Finally, it’s Just the Tips if you want to play with exhibitionism on your own, or with friends!

A very special thanks to Abbey Snider for editing assistance on this episode!  You can check out Abbey’s podcast, Sweet Baby Gay at https://abbeydotproductions.com/. 

Are you an exhibitionist? Exhibitionism is a sexual kink in which a person feels sexual arousal at the idea or reality of being seen naked or engaged in sexual activities by others.  Consensual exhibitionism means that all people, watchers and participants, are enthusiastically consenting to the experience, and that's the kink this episode focuses on. 

But first, if you are looking for a light, end-of-summer cocktail, look no further than the Cucumber Lemonade. Mix one up while listening to Ams' Hot Tale - Ams reconnect with Brandon on a lifestyle couples date and experiences the Jedi Mind F**k. 

Then, the Wives discuss their past experiences and interests in exhibitionism. 

Exhibitionism is a sexual kink in which a person feels sexual arousal at the idea or reality of being seen naked or engaged in sexual activities by others.  Consensual exhibitionism means that all people, watchers and participants, are enthusiastically consenting to the experience, and that's the kink this episode focuses on. 

There are many reasons people enjoy exhibitionism. Some people enjoy breaking with the convention that sex happens in private. Participating, or even thinking about, taboo sexual behavior can be very hot and can even cause a physical rush of adrenaline or genital arousal.  

For others, "showing off" sexually to others is a way to bolster self-esteem. When watched by an enthusiastic voyeur, exhibitionism can result in tons of admiration and positive feedback.  And when a woman is how beautiful and sexy they look when naked or provocatively dressed (or when engaging in sex) that positive feedback can lead to more confidence and positive body image. And if you feel better about your body, you probably will want to have more sex!  

Women might also explore exhibitionism as a safer way to connect with more than her primary partner.  Having someone watch you have sex can be a form of communication and connection that can be a real turn on: watching a voyeur become aroused, participating in non-verbal communication (such as a wink or blowing a kiss) are ways to connect with a non-participating partner that can add a sexy spin on parallel play.

Finally, exhibitionism on a lesser scale can be an empowering way to remind the world that you exist as a sexual being.  For women of-a-certain-age, especially those that are mothers, society sends us messages that we are no longer sexual beings.  Don't believe me, check Amy Schumer's brilliant skit: Last F**kable Day  Really, for any woman who doesn't meet the very narrow definition of sexual beauty, exhibitionism in the form of provocative dressing can be a way to recall your sexuality, encourage healthy body image and feel sexually empowered.   

The Wives share their past experiences with exhibitionism (spoiler alert:  Ams and Kat have sex in front of people all the time, but it isn't always a turn on). 

Next, the Wives get sage advice from Dr. Carol Queen on how to explore exhibitionism if you are experiencing shyness, a reluctant partner or body image issues. 

Finally, the Wives assign themselves sexy homework to explore ways to get turned on when other people are watching. 

A very special thanks to Abbey Snider for editing assistance on this episode!  You can check out Abbey's podcast, Sweet Baby Gay at https://abbeydotproductions.com/. 

Dr. Carol Queen is staff sexologist and Company Historian at Good Vibrations, the woman-founded sex shop, where she has worked since 1990. A noted cultural sexologist whose work has been widely published, she's written or edited several books, including Exhibitionism for the Shy; The Leather Daddy & the Femme; and The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone (lead author, with Shar Rednour). She has been speaking publicly about sexuality for 45 years and frequently speaks to the media as well as college, conference, and other audiences. She debated the question of promiscuity ("virtue or vice?") at the Oxford Union. With Dr. Robert Morgan Lawrence, Queen co-founded the Center for Sex & Culture [IG @centersexculture] in San Francisco. 

Time to check in with the Wives on their sexy homework from the book, Come as You Are, and the companion Workbook. 

Author Emily Nagoski states that everyone’s sexuality is unique and normal.  That’s a wonderful and liberating message, but how can a woman learn about her unique sexual temperament from a book?  It’s time to dig a little deeper and pull out the workbook for sexy homework!  

But first, if you looking for a cocktail that won’t weigh you down in these dog days of summer, check out the Grapefruit Spritzer while listening to Kat recount 22 straight days of morning sex with Mr. Kat (…jealous much?!?!)   

Then, the Wives share their sexy homework with Come as You Are and the companion Workbook. 

Drop that baggage, girl! Most women bring a lot of “baggage” in the bedroom, much of which is based on cultural messages around sex. Using the workbook, Ams and Kat explore how idealized versions of the “pure” “healthy” and “high performance” woman make real women feel inadequate and self-critical. 

Time to Start a Sex Binder.  Do you plan for sex?  Why not?!?! We plan for the things in life that are important to us, so why don’t we plan more for sex? Ams uses the workbook to identify the “perfect context” for sex and better ways that her and Mr. Ams can initiate. 

Let that Shit Go. Is stress keeping you from an amazing sex life? Kat confesses that chronic stress has been a major “brake” in her life over the past two years, and references Emily’s wisdom from CAUA as well as Emily and Amelia Nagoski’s book, Burnout, to complete the stress cycle.   

Finally, it’s Just the Tips for Come As You Are and the companion Workbook 

A very special thanks to Abbey Snider for editing assistance on this episode!  You can check out Abbey’s podcast, Sweet Baby Gay at https://abbeydotproductions.com/.  

Check out our Podcasts and Articles Featuring Books about Sex.  

Part 1 for Come As You Are including our interview with Emily Nagoski!  

The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay (Part 1 and Part 2) including our interview with authors Jessica O’Reilly, PhD (Sex with Dr. Jess) and Marla Renee Stewart, MA 

Book Review: Come As You Are 

Book Review: The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay 

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Are you ready to unlock the mysteries of female sexuality? Come As You Are is a must-read for all vulva-owners and the partners who want to please them. In this episode, the Wives interview author Emily Nagoski on how her can help all women maximize their capacity for pleasure. 

But before we dive into the details, mix yourself up this episode's Cocktail - the Blood Orange Mule, while Ams recounts a ridiculous attempt to buy THC-infused lube in California

Then, the Wives FAN-GIRL over their favorite author, Emily Nagoski, and her award-winning book, Come As You Are.

Based on their initial read, the Wives learned the nitty gritty of female anatomy (how male parts and female parts are analogs of each other!), the Dual Control Model (with the notorious sexual "accelerators" and "brakes"), the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire and how to get all parts of your mind and body moving in one direction, for absolutely mind-blowing pleasure.

Next,  the Wives go straight to the source, interviewing the incomparable Emily Nagoski, on Come As You Are as well as her newest project, which focuses on staying connected in a long term relationship. 

Finally, the Wives assign themselves sexy homework: time to check out Come As You Are, the Workbook.  

If you find female sexuality confusing and even frustrating, this book is a game-changer.  

A very special thanks to Abbey Snider for editing assistance on this episode!  You can check out Abbey's podcast, Sweet Baby Gay at https://abbeydotproductions.com/.