Voices of Deconversion – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Today I speak with Tom Boulton from the U.K.

Tom's Christian faith grew in his teenage years amongst friends. His dad thought Tom was in a cult. Tom experienced intense anxiety at the thought of friends and family going to hell.  His faith is all-consuming.  He said that 18 year old Christian Tom wouldn't recognize 23 year old Christian Tom. His understanding and definition of Christianity changed. 

Tom mentors a 16 year old boy from church who comes out to Tom as gay. Tom doesn't respond so well the first time, but gets a chance to follow-up with the boy later and make it right. 

Work is a great landing place for him to go as he deconverts. After deconverting he invites everyone, including church friends out for a pint to chat about the changes in his life. It goes really well!

Tom is the friendliest, kindest guy and I loved hearing his story! You'll love it too.

Ryan is a former evangelical homeschooler who enjoyed life and understanding the world so much that he eventually outgrew the religion of his upbringing. He now works in the tech manufacturing field in Austin TX and enjoys group meditation, talking about philosophy and history, and playing both sports and music. Today, Ryan calls himself atheist or agnostic but prefers the simple term “secular”, with a philosophy most closely aligning with Buddhism.

We have a great conversation. It was so fun chatting with him and getting to know him. I love the Marcus Aurelius quote too! Ryan's authenticity and friendly nature really come through in this interview. Enjoy!

Tiffany has so many great insights regarding the impact of Christianity on mental health. I really enjoyed my chat with her!

Learn more about Tiffany:

http://www.tiffanicappello.com/

 

 

Today I speak with Ronna Russell, author of "The Uncomfortable Confessions of a Preacher's Kid".

Ronna describes her story as "a childhood controlled by the brutal hand of a narcissistic, closeted homosexual. I believed I could leave my upbringing behind and walk away unscathed. I married a closeted homosexual man, in hopes he could keep me safe. As our sex life and bank account dwindled to nothing, fear kept me silent. In the meantime, my father died of AIDs. The pain of his death fractured my biological family, and I clung to my husband and children, creating a cocoon that became a prison. Eventually, I was forced to see my husband’s homosexuality and refusal to work, realizations that brought me to the breaking point. I found the courage to be alone, to take care of my children no matter the cost, and the joy of my own sexual freedom. In the process, I fell in love with my own life".

Today is a very special episode about an ex-Muslim's deconversion to atheism, while living in Iran. His story is so important to share!

He grew up in Iran in a Shia Muslim family. He was a devout Muslim until he got curious about Salman Rushdie's book, The Satanic Verses. His curiosity leads him to banned anti-islam websites. He reads articles and books, eventually realizing he's an atheist.

Muhammad began to spread anti-islam materials on websites and social media. After 3 years, he is caught and aggressively arrested on the street. He spends time in prison and solitary confinement. His parents put their house up for bail and he is forced to repent and make a false confession, which airs on Youtube and Islamic Republic television.

While on bail, he is eventually called back for the trial and an inevitable 15 years in prison.

He decides he must escape Iran. 

Jordan grew up going to church every Sunday with his family. He went to Bible studies and lived a typical Christian life. When he was junior high age, his family stopped attending church regularly.

As Jordan grew older, he struggled balancing his church friendships along with his non-church friendships. He didn't want to live a double life.

His faith becomes more serious and he discovers Calvinist theology. At first, he embraces it. Later, he begins to question more than just Calvinism. 

The difficult process of deconstructing his faith leads to agnosticism. 

Gidday Listeners!

My first guest from Australian shares his fascinating journey out of Christianity. 

He was raised in a typical Methodist Christian home in a small Township in Australia. His dad was a brickmaker and his mother a homemaker. He was raised going to Sunday school. His dad attended prayer groups during the week and his mom went to women's church groups. 

As a young teenager he was listening to a Fundamentalist preacher when a blasphemous thought entered his mind. Instantly he knew he was damned and going to hell. He couldn't dare tell anyone, as this may confirm his terrible reality. He kept all this to himself. He lived his day-to-day life, but every so often was reminded of his terrible fate. This thought tormented him for years.

A few years later he's invited to a meeting with the Christadelphians. As a Methodist, he was viewed as a damnable heretic. Conversely, he viewed them that way too. Following an intense discussion he has a realization and finally finds relief.

I loved his message to embrace the things we don't know. This is a huge part of what brings me peace as an atheist too. It's ok to not know or understand everything. It's the mystery of life that brings wonder and awe. It also leaves us with so much to discover in our world.

In difficult times, we gather comfort from something Roland reminded me near the end of our talk: We're in it together!

 

*UPDATE-Matt Recently Became Christian Again.  A few months after we recorded this interview, Matt became Christian again. I'm leaving the interview up, but wanted listeners to know in case they were to reach out to Matt.

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Matt was born in Wichita, Kansas and lived there until about age 7.

He was raised non-denominational/charismatic mostly in the Assemblies of God churches and had full on believed by age 5. He had great parents and never had too many issues in the church. However, he always had a great fear of hell even as a Christian.

He was in and out of church most of his life until his first divorce. Then went to bible college at a very charismatic school in 2009. He began seeing cracks and flaws in that particular doctrine and started pulling back. He had gotten his minister's license close to graduation and upon graduation went straight to the mission field in Asia in 2011/12. He worked with the underground church in China and the Burmese refugees I’m Thailand.

He finally began having more questions over the years until he couldn’t do it anymore because of how it was just messing his head up. 10,000 religions, 40,000 plus denominations within Christianity alone, good people going to hell, simply for not believing. He hated the way Christians viewed & spoke to the LGBTQ community and other faiths like they all couldn’t just be people, but had to be a mission and Christians had to have an agenda. He felt that devalued all groups outside of Christendom as less than human. He hated it.

Later he had a stint in rehab for alcohol and began reading books like the wisdom of insecurity from Alan Watts and Thomas Paine’s the Age of Reason. He felt like he'd found freedom in Deism. He was there for a bit, then went back out of fear. That didn’t last long. 

The full shift happened less than a year ago and now he is an Atheist. He said he truly feels born again and free.

URGENT: If you live in Wisconsin please contact your state representative to express support for the Clergy Mandatory Reporter Act & the Child Victims Act. 

These bills are being considered right now. If your representative is Republican, it's even more important. Republican support is low for these bills, but is critical. Anything you can do is very much appreciated.

Now, to introduce today's guest...

Debbie McNulty is a lifelong resident of Wisconsin. She attended a United Pentecostal church from about age 7 to 17. She was exposed to sexual abuse and ideas which caused serious religious trauma. 

Now she works to help others cope with their trauma and raise awareness about the organization she grew up in. Her story is such an important story to tell.

Debbie is an amazing person and ends the conversation with such a hopeful message! 

Debbie's Blog: https://survivingchurchandchildhood.wordpress.com/about/

Cap Times article:
https://madison.com/ct/news/local/govt-and-politics/lawmakers-push-bills-to-end-statute-of-limitations-on-lawsuits/article_25165c22-1475-5752-84ce-bef5a81153d2.html

You have to hear this story!

He's always wanted to help people. When he became a strong Christian, it was saving people from the lake of fire. If Hell was real, Wiley was compelled to do everything in his power to save people from it.

He would stand outside ATMs on busy Friday nights preaching to people. He was attracted to an aggressive form of Christianity. Having exactly the right doctrine was very important to him. So much so, that he and his wife later struggled to find the right church. 

He wouldn't marry his wife unless she agreed to wear dresses and not celebrate Christmas, as it's a pagan celebration. She eventually agreed.

Later Wiley hears a podcast host pose a question for Christians. The host asks if Christians could admit they might possibly be wrong. When the podcast host proclaims that Christians never will admit this, Wiley thinks "challenge accepted".

His faith is tested and then his marriage. He faces questions about faith with transparency. He also decides to face OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in an honest, open way. He's a courageous human being and I'm so glad he shared his story with us.