Unraveling Me – Détails, épisodes et analyse

S1E31 Unraveling Dr. Syb: Dr. Syb spent 42 years feeling like something didn’t fit. Then, at a family funeral, a cousin confirmed what her body, spirit, and intuition had long known: she had been adopted. Born during the Baby Scoop Era and raised in a same-race domestic adoption, Dr. Syb grew up in a loving family—but one built around a secret she was expected to carry quietly once the truth came out. For seven years, she did not search, trying to protect the mother who raised her. Eventually, she realized the truth belonged to her too.

SHOW NOTES

In this conversation, Kara and Dr. Syb discuss:

• Learning she was adopted through a family comment
• The emotional impact of being lied to for decades
• Baby Scoop Era adoption and same-race adoption in the Black community
• Amended birth certificates and the legal fiction adoptees are forced to use
• Searching for and finding both genetic families
• The grief of finding graves instead of living parents
• Relationship, attachment, and abandonment wounds after adoption
• The power of names, voice, and reclaiming authorship of your own story
• How friends and family can support someone after a life-changing discovery

This episode reminds us that secrets do not disappear when people take them to the grave. They leave others to sort through the pieces. And sometimes healing begins when we finally say: this is my story to tell.

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

S1 E 30 Unraveling Nick Nick was supposed to receive a DNA test for his birthday, but his parents asked that the gift be delayed. The next day, they sat him down and told him the results might reveal something unexpected. What followed led Nick to a truth he never imagined. 

Through both his book Inconceivably Connected and the "Inconceivably Connected Podcast", Nick has transformed his own discovery into a platform for connection and truth-telling. This episode reminds us that even life-altering truths can also be invitations: to understand ourselves more fully, to connect more honestly, and to realize that identity is often far more expansive than we were first told.

Kara and Nick explore identity, genetic mirroring, family, and what happens when the story you believed about yourself suddenly shifts beneath your feet. 

SHOW NOTES

In this episode, Kara and Nick discuss:

• Learning he was donor-conceived the day after his 36th birthday 
• How his parents’ honesty before the DNA test changed his discovery experience 
• Discovering 14 half-siblings 
• The surreal experience of seeing himself reflected in strangers 
• Nature vs. nurture and the power of genetic mirroring 
• Navigating new sibling relationships and redefining family 
• Why his father who raised him remains the hero of his story 

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

S1 E21 - Unraveling Diana - Diana speaks candidly about identity, secrecy, and the emotional toll of discovering that official records cannot always be trusted. Her journey spans continents, generations, and legal gray zones. And yet, through genealogy work, writing her book Connected: Finding My Truth, and helping others uncover hidden histories, Diana has transformed her pain into purpose.

Diana grew up believing her origins were clear. Raised in a modern Orthodox Jewish home, she built her identity around faith, family, and tradition. Even when she didn’t quite look like her parents, there was always a photograph ready to explain it away. But a slip of the tongue from a family friend changed everything.

SHOW NOTES

What followed was not a simple adoption story. It was a layered, cross-border unraveling. In this powerful and complex conversation, Kara and Diana explore what it means to chase truth when the truth keeps shifting.

• Finding the truth in multiple different birth certificates, each with conflicting information
• The reality of baby brokers and the “baby scoop era”
• How coercion forced Diana to step back from her search and reunion for 15 years
• Wrestling with faith, conversion, and maternal lineage within Judaism
• Living with unanswered questions and choosing peace anyway

Her story reminds us that truth is not always neat. It does not always come with paperwork. And sometimes the unraveling is lifelong. But seeking it anyway? That is courage.

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

S1 E20 - Unraveling Angie - In this candid and emotionally layered conversation, Kara and Angie explore what it means to live between bravery and fear, loyalty and longing, compassion and grief. Angie was a seasoned mental health therapist, international wellness presenter, and expert in stress management when she did the very thing she tells her clients not to do—she ignored the truth. After taking a 23andMe test and discovering she was 49% Ashkenazi Jewish, something that made no sense given her family story, Angie quietly deleted the app and buried the results. For years, she chose hope over certainty (it felt safer that way). But during the pandemic, a call from her sister changed everything. DNA results confirmed what Angie had tried to dismiss: she was not fully genetically related to the family who raised her.

SHOW NOTES

In This Episode, Kara and Angie discuss:

• Suppressing shocking DNA results and why even therapists avoid their own pain
• Protecting her mother’s legacy while naming the cost of secrecy
• The complexity of loving a parent and feeling betrayed at the same time
• Searching for her genetic father years after discovery
• Being rejected by DNA matches and finding the courage to keep going
• The various ways we can reach out to new family and when just showing up is an option
• Holding fear and hope in the same breath

Angie speaks with deep compassion for everyone involved: her mother, her sisters, even the family she has yet to meet. As a wellness professional, she understands that emotions aren’t binary. Two things can be true at once. Love and grief. Loyalty and betrayal. Fear and courage. Her story is about finally choosing truth over silence and deciding that uncertainty is still better than never knowing.

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

S1 E 19 - Unraveling Linda Linda speaks candidly about fear, obligation, guilt, and the slow unraveling required to rebuild a life rooted in truth. Her story is about reclaiming agency after manipulation, breaking generational silence, and choosing to breathe again after everything falls apart. This episode is a testament to resilience, discernment, and the courage it takes to say: My story belongs to me.

SHOW NOTES

Linda always knew she was adopted. What she didn’t know was how deeply secrecy, emotional neglect, and unspoken shame would shape her identity—and how fiercely she would one day fight to reclaim it.

At 24 years old, desperate to know her origins, Linda did something few would dare: she broke into the adoption agency to retrieve her own records. That night became a pivot point—a declaration that her story belonged to her. But accessing the truth was only the beginning.

In this powerful and layered conversation, Kara and Linda explore the long arc of identity, trauma, manipulation, and healing. Kara and Linda discuss:

• Growing up in an alcoholic, authoritarian household where adoption was never openly acknowledged
• Being treated as a “blank slate” and expected to erase her history
• The danger of power imbalances in therapy—and surviving a deeply abusive therapeutic relationship
• Isolation, grooming, and the long road back to autonomy
• Rebuilding identity through sobriety, somatic healing, research, and education
• Why “good therapy” matters—and how to protect yourself when seeking help
• The ongoing process of integration and self-trust

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1E17 – Unraveling Melanie - This episode is a powerful reflection on identity, race, motherhood, and resilience—and on what it takes to keep going, even when the road home is one you have to build yourself.

Melanie was adopted at birth into a white, religious family in the segregated American South. Raised as a transracial adoptee in a household shaped by silence, fear, and rigid expectations, she learned early that survival often meant obedience—and that questions about identity, race, and origin were not welcome. In this candid and powerful conversation, Kara and Melanie explore how adoption, religion, racial isolation, and secrecy intersected to shape Melanie’s childhood and sense of self. 

SHOW NOTES

Kara and Melanie discuss:

• Growing up transracially adopted in the Jim Crow South
• Religious trauma, saviorism, and adoption as status
• Living in a home where fear replaced safety
• The impact of growing up without genetic mirroring
• Teenage motherhood without protection or guidance
• Experiencing abandonment by systems meant to help
• Finding survival and belonging through the support of other women
• Using DNA testing to search for answers and connection
• Navigating reunion, rejection, and loss
• Reclaiming identity, education, and voice later in life
• 
  

Melanie speaks with honesty and clarity—naming harm without minimizing it and holding complexity without excusing silence. Her story reminds us that unraveling is rarely a single moment of discovery, but a lifelong process of learning to belong to yourself when belonging was never made safe.

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

S1 E16 – Unraveling Cassandra - This episode is a powerful meditation on truth, belonging, and the slow work of integration. She reminds us that identity isn’t rebuilt overnight—and that learning who you are is often a lifelong process, especially when the truth arrives after everything else is already in motion.

Cassandra’s story begins on what she calls her “re-birthday”—the night a DNA test revealed the truth about her origins and quietly dismantled everything she thought she knew about herself. What followed wasn’t a single moment of realization, but years of unraveling, re-integration, and learning how to live honestly inside a body that suddenly held a different history.

In this deeply reflective conversation, Kara and Cassandra explore how donor conception, secrecy, and late discovery reshape identity—not just intellectually, but emotionally, relationally, and culturally.

SHOW NOTES 

Kara and Cassandra discuss:

• The shock of realizing the story of her conception was never disclosed
• Navigating parental secrecy and the emotional aftermath of planned silence
• Meeting her genetic father and donor-conceived siblings
• The life changing impact of learning she is half Ashkenazi Jewish
• Grief for a cultural inheritance hidden from your childhood—and the pull to reclaim it
• Rebuilding identity after truth arrives late

Cassandra speaks with care for everyone involved, even as she names the cost of secrecy and delayed truth.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

S1E15 Unraveling Athena - This is a story about identity, patience, accountability, and what can happen when honesty finally replaces silence. Athena’s journey is a reminder that rejection doesn’t always get the final word—and that healing can unfold slowly, imperfectly, and still be real. Athena grew up without a father, raised by a single mother who told her the truth early on: she didn’t know who her genetic father was. As Athena built her own life, marrying her high school sweetheart and becoming a mother herself, the questions she’d carried since childhood became impossible to ignore. Who did she come from? Why did she look the way she did? And where did she truly belong?

After years of unanswered questions, rejected paternity tests, and the exhausting search for truth, a DNA test finally provided a name and opened the door to a family that didn’t know she existed. What followed was a complicated journey marked by secrecy, fear, courage, and, ultimately, connection.

SHOW NOTES

In this conversation, Kara and Athena talk about:

• Growing up without a father and being told “we don’t know who he is”
• Searching for genetic truth through paternity tests and DNA
• Being asked to remain a secret and the toll that silence takes
• The emotional weight of carrying shame that doesn’t belong to you
• Meeting siblings and extended family while navigating secrecy
• The profound role a supportive spouse can play in healing
• Learning to belong without erasing the pain that came before

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

UM Special Edition – When Adoption Is Framed as a Solution - This conversation is not about debating politics. It is about lived experience, accuracy, and accountability. It centers the voices of those most affected by adoption—and asks what the public deserves to understand when adoption is elevated during moments of national influence.

SHOW NOTES: 

A Super Bowl commercial titled Adoption Is an Option ignited strong reactions among people connected to adoption. Positioned as a “third choice” in the abortion debate, the ad presents adoption as moral workaround to the question of abortion. But for many, the message felt incomplete—and deeply unsettling.

In this special edition of Unraveling Me, Kara convenes birth parents, adoptees, therapists, and advocates to examine what happens when adoption is framed as a solution rather than a lifelong reality. Together, they unpack the distinction often overlooked in public messaging: abortion is a decision made early in pregnancy; adoption is a permanent legal outcome to an often temporary problem—a choice that should only occur after carrying a child to term and giving birth.

Kara sits down with a powerful group of birth parents, adoptees, therapists, and advocates:

• Leslie Pate Mackinnon: birth mom, therapist with decades of experience, and board member of Concerned United Birthparents
• Dr. Abby Hasberry: birth mom, adoptee, therapist, and author of Adopting Privilege
• Jennifer Fahlsing: adoptee, birth mom, and co-founder of the National Association of Adoptees and Parents
• Renee Gelin: birth mom and founder of Saving Our Sisters

Together they discuss:

• Why adoption and abortion are not answers to the same question
• What gets erased when adoption is reduced to a “third option”
• The lifelong realities of relinquishment for birth parents and adoptees
• How public messaging shapes cultural understanding of adoption
• Who benefits when adoption is framed as a solution—and who is left out
• What support, resources, and family preservation conversations are missing

Everyone has the right to know the truth about where they come from. Unraveling Me speaks to those people impacted by DNA surprises, NPEs (non-paternal event), adoption, assisted reproduction, and other revelations that their parentage isn't entirely what they thought. Having experienced an NPE herself, Kara (through Right To Know and this podcast) seeks to highlight those moments when we learn the most unsettling of secret—who we really are.

At Right To Know, we encourage engagement to facilitate and create real change. As an organization, we are inclusive. We assist adoptees, the donor-conceived community, people with an NPE, birth parents, gamete providers, new genetic family, recipient parents, raising families, and significant others. In learning and growing from each other, we must put the voices of adoptees, donor conceived, and people with an NPE first.

For more information about Right To Know - or if you have a story you want to tell - please visit us at https://righttoknow.us/.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.