The Selfish Woman – Détails, épisodes et analyse

We've all been there: a plan falls apart, a deadline shifts, or a minor inconvenience feels like the end of the world. Or, we spend way too much of our time and energy worrying about 'what if.' We usually blame the situation for how we feel, but today's guest says the 'problem' isn't what's happening - it's how we're wired to react to it. 

I'm joined by Dr. Rachel Goldman, a clinical psychologist, NYU professor, and a leading expert in the mind-body connection who has shared her insights alongside icons like Oprah and Mel Robbins. 

Ahead of the April launch of her highly anticipated book, "When Life Happens," Dr. Rachel breaks down the science of CBT and explains why we need to stop trying to 'delete' stress and start building a Coping Toolbox. 

This episode is a survival guide for anyone who feels overwhelmed by the weight of 'doing it all' and is ready to reclaim their peace of mind. 

What We Discuss: 

The Stress Reframe: Why stress is inevitable, but our physiological and mental reaction to it is a choice. 

The "All or Nothing" Trap: How to break the cycle of perfectionism when things go sideways. 

Building Your Coping Toolbox: Specific strategies to regulate your emotions in real time. 

Mindset as a Skill: Why resilience isn't a personality trait - it's a strategy you can train. 

When Life Happens: A deep dive into the mindset shifts needed to navigate life's messiest moments. 

Resources & Links: 

Pre-Order the Book 

Follow Dr. Rachel 

Subscribe to The Selfish Woman Podcast on Spotify 

Subscribe to The Selfish Woman Podcast on Apple 

I left Spain to figure out what was wrong with me. 

I had the dream life. The cobblestone streets. The European light. The copper bathtub imported from England that cost eleven thousand euros. 

And I was miserable in ways I didn't have words for yet. 

So I left. Convinced I was the problem. 

I was wrong. 

In this episode I'm recording from Harrison Hot Springs - sitting in a mineral pool, in the middle of a meditation that turned into a download - and I finally understand what I was actually running from. And why leaving was the most sane thing I ever did. 

This is the episode for the woman who has spent years trying to fix herself. The woman who has read the books, done the work, followed the rules - and still feels like something is fundamentally broken. 

Nothing is broken. 

But something is wrong. 

And until you figure out what that is, you will keep building beautiful lives on foundations that cannot hold you. 

This is where we start. 

Join The Phoenix 

Get the book 

This is a personal episode for me, one that I feel led to share with you, because I know it's going to resonate. 

There's a moment in every woman's life when she look at what she's been worshipping - success, motherhood, marriage, being 'nice' - and realizes none of it was built for her freedom. That's the holy sh*t moment. The one where you finally stop trying to earn gold stars for suffering and start knocking over every sacred cow that's been keeping you in a cage. 

This is aboout burning down the old rules, setting yourself free from everyone else's opinion of you, reclaiming your wild self, and realizing that sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do...is commit a little heresy. 

Take the Reveal Your Mask quiz 

Get your copy of The Selfish Year 

Inquire about working with me as a private client 

Read The Selfish Gospel on Substack 

Watch on YouTube 

It's the Summer of Self Love! 

How's your self love game? Does it seem elusive and confusing to 'love yourself'? Do you wonder what that really means, and how you're supposed to 'just love yourself more'? 

I'm bringing you one powerful perspective that's going to be a game changer for you! 

- what self love really means 

- why self love is the key to everything 

- practical action steps to fall more in love with yourself this summer! 

Grab your journal and get ready to fall in love! 

Want me to answer your question on the pod? Email me! 

valerie@valeriejonescoach.com 

Ready to transform for real? Hire me! 

https://www.honeybook.com/widget/val_jones_coaching_226093/cf_id/62c7a8f5139766002df2bf86

Welcome to Selfish Summer 2022! 

All summer long I'm bringing you weekly mini episodes to keep you focused on showing up for yourself, finding moments of pleasure and joy, and continuing your growth journey! 

This week I'm kicking things off by helping you set your intentions for the season. You don't need another 'to-do list', am I right?! So instead, I'm giving you your 'Hell Yes/Hell No List'! 

Grab your journal and craft your summer intentions! 

I'd love to know what you come up with....email me! 

valerie@valeriejonescoach.com

Join my Facebook Group for more inspo and support this summer! 

www.facebook.com/goups/radicalwomen

There are so many times in life when we are called to start over. Sometimes it's the big stuff - relationships, career, health, finances, healing. And sometimes it's the small stuff - having another difficult conversation, setting a boundary, getting back to your morning routine, or cleaning that fucking garage one more time! 

Starting over is hard, because change is hard. 

I'm sharing my starting-over-stories and what I've learned along the way, and my top strategies to support you in starting over...yet again! 

- I share what I know now, that I wish I'd known when I started over and left my first marriage 

- why you need a tool kit for the journey and what to put inside! 

- what to do if you want to start over, but you can't see the way forwards 

Bring your journal to this episode, you're going to want to take notes! 

If you have a topic you'd love to hear me discuss, or a question you want me to answer, email me! 

valerie@valeriejonescoach.com

Want a sisterhood to support your starting-over-journey? Join my Facebook community! 

www.facebook.com/groups/radicalwomen

If you are ready to start over and learn how to set boundaries like a bad ass, take my course: Boundaries Bootcamp! 

https://valeriejonescoaching.vipmembervault.com/products/courses/view/1126403

Curious about this whole 'manifesting' thing? Wondering what the hell everyone's talking about? Or, have you been manifesting for awhile and not seeing results? 

This week's episode is a deep dive into spirituality, manifesting and some real talk about what's actually required in order to design an authentic life! 

Milli Fox shares her vulnerable and powerful story of how she became 'Manifesting Milli', and it may surprise you! 

Milli shares so many powerful lessons with us: 

- What is spiritual bypassing? 

- How to develop spiritual practices that bring real results 

- Why eradicating shame is key to manifesting

- The value of play and pleasure! 

Milli Fox is obsessed with all things self-worth and manifestation. Think Brene Brown meets Gabby Bernstein with a sprinkle of goofy on top! She has a vision for each woman she works with and helps them manifest that vision. She aims to raise the collective consciousness and heal generational trauma through her programs and internet dance parties. 

Grab her free 5 Minute Manifestation Method for Moms! 

https://offers.millifox.com/5-minute-manifestation

Should you stay or should you go? 

Kate Anthony is here to discuss this critical question that has many women stuck in limbo, wondering what to do when their marriage isn't working anymore. She brings her fiery truth telling to the table and holds nothing back in this funny, relatable and wisdom-packed conversation. 

- What keeps women staying in toxic relationships 

- Why marriage is set up to benefit men but not women 

- 'Not your fucking job'....Kate tells us the truth we all need to hear! 

- Important things to consider when deciding to stay or go 

Kate Anthony is the host of the New York Times recommended podcast The Divorce Survival Guide and creator of the groundbreaking coaching program, Should I Stay or Should I Go? which helps women make the most difficult decision of their lives using coaching tools, relationship education, geeky neuroscience, community support, and deep self-work. 

https://www.kateanthony.com

I'm talking with you about why 'being nice' isn't a great goal for yourself, and what is a better goal that will empower you and keep you showing up bigger in your life!  So many women have been conditioned to be nice, and it's a big bunch of BS. 

- why nice isn't the goal anymore! 

- how 'nice' may be showing up in your life & relationships 

- I share a better goal that will serve your growth and authenticity 

- I'm telling a funny story about the moment I realized I'd overcome my own 'be nice' conditioning! 

Connect with me on Instagram! 

https://www.instagram.com/msvaljones

And on Facebook: 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/radicalwomen

Join the Women's Retreat! Still a couple of spots left 

https://mailchi.mp/946b099c65a1/womens-retreat-2022

Join this intimate & beautiful conversation with Sara Beth Wald as she walks us through the minefield of trauma and how we can heal ourselves and our relationships with others. 

We discuss: 

- what is trauma...and what it isn't 

- the power of speaking about our trauma in safe spaces 

- why community is so important to our healing

- the gift of conflict 

- her framework for Redefining Love: Boundaries, Authenticity & Grace 

Sara Beth Wald is passionate about helping women overcome domestic violence, abuse, divorce and as a trauma survivor herself, believes in the healing power of truth telling. Through Boundaries & Trauma Coaching, she teaches people how to set boundaries and hold themselves and others accountable with love and grace. 

https://www.redefine-love.com