The Masterful Coach – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Maybe you have that one difficult client who is so resistant, and no matter what work you do with them, they just don't seem to "get it."  

You're not alone, and there are reasons for it! And within those reasons lie the answers. 

Traits of difficult clients: 

1. Resistant

2. Doesn't want to go deeper

3. Frustrated

4. Stuck in the same cycles

Remember that many factors come into play when working with clients on behavior changes, mindset work, or transformations involving emotional components. Their current state is a reflection of conditioning, experiences, and behaviors that have been programmed into the nervous system to automate them. 

Changing behavior patterns, re-programming thought patterns, and processing emotions takes time. It also takes skill and nuance with those skills as a coach. The best way to help your clients, even those who seem "difficult," is to understand the full picture of why they are behaving/thinking/feeling the way they do with a "whole person" approach. 

Often, when you are working with "difficult" clients, what you're experiencing is the stress response in the nervous system. It's not that they are difficult at all, it's just that they have a body, brain, and nervous system that is working. As a coach, this is an opportunity for you to fill in the skill or knowledge gap for your client.

What makes this worse… is if you think of them as " difficult," which is most likely not helping the situation. Anticipating difficulty will put you in a tighter and closed emotional space, making it more likely that you will push them in ways that aren't helpful or be closed off from the wisdom of what they really need. 

When it comes to "resistance" with clients, while this can be one of the most frustrating things for many of my coaches, it's also the most magical thing to work through! Anytime there is resistance, there is something really important underneath it. When we can be willing to lean into the resistance and learn (with the skills to do so safely with our client), that's when we can unlock some of the things that our client needs to pay the most attention to. 

Before I share a story, I'll preface this by saying that a client isn't always ready (or even emotionally equipped to) lean into it. This is why the skills to understand your client and all that's coming into play for them are vital as a coach.  

I had one client years ago who was particularly resistant, that could have been percieved as a difficult client. Together, we could see this pattern over and over again in our sessions. Even worse than the resistance - she was criticizing herself for it. We decided to make space for the resistance. We decided to acknowledge it in the "room" with us, and we allowed it to be okay. This was just the starting point, but as we looked at what was underneath it, this client experienced a softening of her resistance. The topics in our sessions became more relevant to what was really going on for her. And the best part was that we started to release some of the shame that kept her shut down and feeling fearful far too often. 

This is just one example, but remember that resistance is real and has a reason. When resistance is present, we can be grateful that we know where to lean. There is fear associated with it, and as skilled coaches, we can treat that fear with care. 

Okay, all of you "let's take a deeper dive" coaches - I know how frustrating it can be when you're trying to help a...

This week on the podcast, I'm diving deep into a topic that's close to my heart—how a thought-work only approach to coaching can be not just limiting but downright detrimental. Trust me, I don't use the word "detrimental" lightly. It's a strong term, and I'm here to unpack why I believe it's crucial to broaden our understanding of transformation beyond mere thought management.

Typically, I like to keep my energy positive, but today's message carries a weight that I can't ignore. Too many mindset coaches are feeling frustrated with their thoughts, emotionally activated, or caught in a cycle of self-criticism that no amount of "mind management" seems to alleviate. If you've ever sensed that something is missing in a thought-work-only approach—whether for yourself or your clients—you are sensing something important. 

I've been in that dark place personally and coached dozens of people who found themselves there too. I've witnessed firsthand how an overly simplistic focus on thoughts can lead to critical self-judgment and emotional distress. While it's always been a priority for me to help my clients soften that harsh internal dialogue and create safe practices, I'm speaking out now more than ever about what every coach must know.

While I've touched on elements of this topic in the past, this week, I'm taking a stand. If you believe that thoughts are everything when it comes to transformation, it's time to reconsider. Yes, changing your thoughts is powerful. But when we use thought work in isolation, it can also be damaging. This thought work only perspective neglects vital scientific insights about how our thoughts, emotions, and nervous systems interact.

If you're feeling a bit of resistance to what I'm saying, that's okay. I understand. I once fully embraced the notion that all problems stemmed from thoughts. While I saw incredible transformations during my early coaching years, it wasn't long before I began noticing adverse effects among my clients. At first, I attributed these to a "misuse" of thought work. But the reality was more complex.

The key takeaway here is simple yet profound: not all feelings arise from thoughts. Emotions have their own narratives and are often stored within our bodies, carrying important messages. The nervous system plays a crucial role in this interplay, and a "thoughts create feelings" perspective ignores that. In fact, 80% of messages travel from our bodies to our brains, not the other way around.

For example, a sympathetic nervous system response can hijack your thinking, shutting down your prefrontal cortex—the part of your brain responsible for rational thought. This is why relying solely on thought work can backfire. Ignoring the emotional and physiological aspects of our experiences can heighten trauma responses and create a cycle of cognitive bypassing.

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Parenting isn't a one-size-fits-all journey. Each child is unique, and often, parents find themselves navigating the challenge of parenting a child who is nothing like them. Coaching for moms to navigate this territory and address these differences is an invaluable option.

Meg is one of Molly's coaching clients and is so grateful for the supportive community Molly has created. Meg brings this community, which provides a "soft landing" where individuals can grow without external pressures, into her coaching for moms. It is important to create a safe space where clients feel relaxed and confident so that they can have true growth.

There are specific challenges moms face when their children are very different from them. There are common worries among moms, such as maintaining a good relationship and having enough skills to support their children effectively. Moms care so much for their kids and want the best for them, often making them feel pressured to "fix" their kids in the interest of their well-being.

Meg advocates for a gentle approach, encouraging moms to accept their feelings and gain a better understanding of why they feel certain ways about certain behaviors from their children. When moms can accept how they are feeling and create space to reflect on the situation, it can significantly reduce the impulse to control or change their children's actions.

When Moms are able to slow down and reflect on their more challenging interactions with their children, they may realize different pressures or expectations they are putting on their children to fit a certain mold. By stepping back and allowing their children to be themselves, moms can foster a more supportive and encouraging environment, leading to a stronger parent-child relationship.

In her coaching practice, Meg offers free weekly tapping sessions for moms. These 15-minute sessions aim to help moms relax and take the edge off, especially during the summer when parenting can be particularly challenging. Sign up for this wonderful opportunity here.

More strategies for supporting Moms

Meg is a mom of 3 kids within 4 years, wife, certified life coach, fitness enthusiast, and is passionate about helping other moms show up as the parent & woman they want to be. She focuses on helping moms navigate the unique journeys of all children, no matter their abilities or needs.

Meg invites listeners to a one-on-one starting point session, where she helps moms better understand their situation and develop a plan for improving their relationship with their children. She emphasizes the value of coaching and the profound impact it can have not just on the moms but on their entire family.

View the full show notes

View Meg's Website

Get her Free Daily Planner to conquer the Chaos

Learn more about Molly's Master Coach Training Programs and how she helps support coaches like Meg 

Writing persuasive sales copy that remains authentic and ethical can be really difficult. How do you move people emotionally to say yes to your offer? How do you do that while maintaining integrity and remaining true to you? If you’ve sat staring at a blank page, wondering how to effectively convey your offer without being too vague or too pushy, knowing some frameworks and strategies of the trade can help!

In this episode, I am excited to have Professional Copywriter, Kim Kiel with me to share how she constructs ethical sales copy that works. Along with numerous tips and insights, Kim shares three specific ways to make your copy more readable. We also discuss avoiding sales-speak, offering genuine limited-time promotions, being aware of stereotypes, and why asking for the sale is actually an act of love.

“When you can start to think of sales being of service and being an act of love and being an act of joy and an act of exchange… Then it gives us more permission to show up and sell in a way that actually feels authentic and true to our values and our purpose.” – Kim Kiel

• Committing to ethical copywriting
  • Avoid sales-speak and false scarcity
  • Ethical and effective deadline setting
  • Be mindful of digital blackface – beware of overlooking stereotypes
  
  
• Sales as an act of love and service
• How to make your copy more readable
• • Write to your bestie
  • Go outside your bubble
  • The rule of you
  
  
• Give appropriate time for a decision
• Ask for feedback

Kim is a direct response strategist and founder of the boutique copywriting agency Kim Kiel Copy. With 15+ years of writing multi-6-figure campaigns for small businesses and nonprofits, Kim helps brainy brands and experts share their gifts and positive impact with the world. She has a knack for instantly capturing a client’s voice and writing elegantly persuasive copy. When she's not nerding out on sales psychology in her home of Edmonton, Alberta, you can find her tromping through the Canadian wilderness with her kids or continuing her quest to find her favourite whisky. 

• KimKiel.com
• Instagram.com/kim_kiel_copy
• Facebook.com/KimKielCopy
• Linkedin.com/in/kimkiel
• FREEBIE! The Ultimate Checklist for Magnetic Copy that Attracts & Sells: KimKiel.com/magnetic-copy-checklist

Molly specializes in her mom-centric coaching. She’s working on a new certification course - Advanced Certification in Motherhood and Family Life Coaching - and that will be ready soon. Stay tuned for more details!

• Work with Molly: mollyclaire.com/coaching
• [email protected]
• Get Molly’s bestselling book, The Happy Mom Mindset: mollyclaire.com/book 
• Facebook
• Instagram

Similar or even identical tools and skills are used by countless coaches throughout the world. So how do you make your coaching stand out? How can you be unique and impactful? I submit that it’s about progressing beyond just understanding concepts into internalizing them for yourself. This is how you both identify what your niche is and identify with your niche. 

When you identify with your niche, you’ll naturally have clients gravitate toward you. Others who will not, and that’s okay. Just notice and own what makes you different and sets you apart. Embrace the skill mastery of defining you as a coach. Focus on who you connect with and help those individuals. Allow someone else to be the right coach for clients you’re not a good fit for. It’s how you’ll stay out of the compare and despair trap and by truly successful in your coaching business. 

“Even if there are fifty other women with the exact same niche as you, you are going to be unique. You are not going to be everyone’s flavor of coaching… Own who you are and what’s different about you. Because that’s what will set you apart.” – Molly Claire

• First learn tools and strategies as intended
• Lean into your strengths
• Make choices about perceived weaknesses
• Be specific in defining you (what you do and don’t do)
• Leave room for growth

Molly specializes in her mom-centric coaching. She’s working on a new certification course - Advanced Certification in Motherhood and Family Life Coaching - and that will be ready soon. Stay tuned for more details!

• Work with Molly: mollyclaire.com/coaching
• [email protected]
• Get Molly’s bestselling book, The Happy Mom Mindset: mollyclaire.com/book 
• Facebook
• Instagram

To our bodies, the past, present and future are all the same. Emotions that arise from situations or memories of instances manifest in the body, regardless of when they occurred in time. This phenomena allows the method of tapping to be used to help release negative emotions, such as anxiety, and to calm the body in the present. How exactly does this work?

In today’s episode, I talk with Tapping Coach, Melanie Fay, about what tapping is, how it works and how it can be used to help clients. Tapping is very connected to and complementary to personal development. We discuss reconditioning the brain, working with memories, making sense of emotions and more. Through this method, Melanie has helped me personally get clear of some of the emotions and memories that held me back. I hope you will try the guided tapping experience Melanie gives us, and go on to look into tapping further.

“Even though I’m feeling this tension, right here and right now, it’s okay to relax. Even though I feel this stress, right here and right now, it’s okay to relax. Even though I feel this tension, right here and right now, I’m okay.” – Melanie Fay

• What is tapping?
• Emotional extremes take our frontal cortex “offline”
• Relief without cognitive work
• Actualization of yourself
• Acknowledging you’re enough and you’re doing enough
• Powerful shifts through tapping
• A guided tapping experience and meditation

• TheTappingSolution.com
• EFTInternational.org

Melanie is a certified EFT practitioner and professional artist based in New York. She is known for her caring, authentic, and gentle approach to releasing long held stresses, emotions and beliefs. When you work with Melanie, you will feel her enthusiasm and dedication to her clients achieving their personal goals and feeling the peace, passion and aliveness they crave. While passionate about approaching a large variety of issues with EFT, she specializes in confidence, self esteem, anxiety, blocks to self expression and creative expression, performance fears, and shame. Melanie works with clients world wide though Zoom.

• MelanieFay.com 
• [email protected]
• Click HERE to Book a Session or Get a  FREE 20-minuteConsultation

• Work with Molly: mollyclaire.com/coaching
• [email protected]
• Get Molly’s bestselling book, The Happy Mom Mindset: mollyclaire.com/book 
• Facebook
• Instagram

Summer fun and relaxation is stiff competition for getting things done in your business. Vacations, kids out of school, opportunities for time with friends and family… How will you balance it all? 

Because you will not escape that inevitable tug-of-war between enjoying summer and accomplishing meaningful work, it’s wise to plan for it. To help, I put together a list of 5 short, sweet principles for a successful summer. These are ones that I’ve employed myself and I hope they work for you as well. 

“Finding the perfect balance for you and your life and your family is not going to come overnight. And you’re going to put plans in place and then they won’t work out, and you’ll still feel some guilt and you’ll still feel some conflict. And all of this will happen. But I promise as you stay committed to bringing in these principles and these practices, over time, you will become more intentional of creating your experience of life that you want and of finding the perfect balance for you.” – Molly Claire

• Principle #1: You get to decide your priorities in your life and your business
• Principle #2: Clear decisions eliminate confusion, conflict, guilt and frustration
• Principle #3: Consider what you want to create
• Principle #4: Decide what you’ll accomplish and not accomplish
• Principle #5: Check in with yourself for success

• Work with Molly: mollyclaire.com/coaching
• [email protected]
• Get Molly’s bestselling book, The Happy Mom Mindset: mollyclaire.com/book 
• Facebook
• Instagram

By greater abundance, I’m talking about stepping into greater belief. That greater belief that opens up your mind to what is possible in your life and your business. And, from there, how that paves the way for you to help your clients into greater belief, ultimately changing their lives.

“Saying no with abundance means you’re clear on your abundant life and you honor your priorities and the gifts you have to give in this world. Your abundant you shows that someone else will be available and perfect for that thing you said no to. And that you’ll have the abundance to say yes to the things that are right for you and the ways you contribute.” – Molly Claire

• #1: Establish proper value
  • Detrimental self-sacrifice
  • Balance
  
  
• #2: The power of No
  • Prioritizing
  • Abundant yeses
  
  
• #3: Letting go
• Narrow your focus to expand your capacity
• The illusion of security

Relationship Coaches (especially), follow Aimée C. Gianni, M.S.:

Aimée in her own words…

I’m a Therapeutic Marriage Coach. That’s what happens when you combine a Marriage & Family Therapist with a Master Certified Coach.

I use evidence based practices from Developmental Psychology, Positive Psychology and Marriage & Family Therapy, and apply them in a practical, solution-focused way. In other words, I use the Art & Science of Love & Intimacy to help you create a strong, loving, joyful relationship and a meaningful life that you love. One that is full of authenticity, connection, passion, physical well-being and fulfillment.

It’s my favorite thing to do.

• Work with Aimée: aimeegianni.com
• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: instagram.com/aimeegiannims

• Work with Molly: mollyclaire.com/coaching
• [email protected]
• Get Molly’s bestselling book, The Happy Mom Mindset: mollyclaire.com/book
• Facebook
• Instagram

Beyond having great tools and procedures or modes, there are some fundamentals that make coaching truly effective. There is nothing more important than having solid basics. In this episode, I want to share 3 of these fundamentals. Specifically, the 3 coaching mastery essentials I believe to be the most impactful.

These foundations cover everything from examining yourself and how you show up to bolstering your clients’ self-worth and intentionality, including teaching them to create space to simply be with themselves. These powerful basics are not just basic. They are bases. They are the pillars upon which the success of your clients – not to mention the success of your coaching business – rest.

“Keep in mind that the self-worth that you do as a coach is the foundation for absolutely everything your client will do.” – Molly Claire

• #1: The ability to be with your client
  • Preparing
  • Connecting
  • Carving
  
  
• #2: The ability to teach your client to be with themselves
  • Relating
  • Redirecting
  • Recognizing
  
  
• #3: Teaching your client how to be with the people and the things and activities in their lives that serves them and the greater whole
  • Connecting
  • Choosing
  • Visualizing
  
  

• The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com
• Get FREE mini-trainings by signing up for our emails. Email [email protected] and request to be added to the list!
• Work with Molly: mollyclaire.com/coaching
• [email protected]
• Get Molly’s bestselling book, The Happy Mom Mindset: mollyclaire.com/book 
• Facebook
• Instagram

We are naturally storytellers and listeners. We connect through stories that deliver an emotional punch. For your current coaching clients, they can deepen your relationships, increasing success. For your potential clients, they can increase your memorability and attraction. Videos that incorporate storytelling work incredibly well for this. But what if you’re camera shy? Uncomfortable with being vulnerable? What if you feel you're no good or don’t have any stories worth telling?

In this episode, I talk with Aaron Jacobs, CEO at Storied Coaching and OMH Creative about the power of stories in coaching. We discuss how stories are all around us, you just need to recognize and apply them. One of the best applications is by creating videos. It’s really not as scary as it sounds, I promise. Aaron shares the uplifting fact that making stories more impactful and memorable can be learned. He even has a free guide to help you choose the right video equipment. I urge you to give it a try. You truly can uplevel your coaching through engaging storytelling, both on camera and off.

“It’s not a talent to get good being on camera, it’s actually just a set of skills that anyone can learn.” – Aaron Jacobs

• You already have a story
• Building confidence on camera
• Jarring your sense of self
• Marketing through vulnerable connection
• Directing your brain to recognize stories
• Moving from default stories
• 3 ways to up your camera game
• The “Wonderbra” of production

• FREE Ultimate Video Gear Guide: https://bit.ly/UGearGuide
• Learn from Aaron: The Storied Life Coaching Podcast
• StoriedCoaching
• OMHCreative
• StoriedTeams
• Linkedin - Aaron
• Instagram - Aaron / Storied Coaching
• Instagram - OMH Creative
• Linkedin - OMH Creative

About Aaron (in his own words)…

No Risk, No New Story. No New Story, No Change.

I have completely re-written my story, stepped into a new version of my life, and now I know exactly how to help others do it as well.

I can help you create a new story for your life too. I have helped hundreds of professionals learn how to identify current stories in their life that are holding them back from reaching their full personal and professional potential. People just like you who felt burned out and stuck.

I lead an amazing team that helps businesses sell more by learning how to tell compelling stories and differentiate themselves by using the camera.

Because you should be inviting your audience to engage with you. Encouraging them to laugh. Helping them feel a connection with their own personal identity that makes their world better than before they started watching you and hearing about what you offer.

Then they become your evangelists. They help you achieve your business goals.

You can learn to tell your audience a story worth listening to. Do it. Do it now. I am happy to help.

• The Coaching Collective: thecoachingcollective.com
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