The Bad Girls Bible - Sex, Relationships, Dating, Love & Marriage Advice – Détails, épisodes et analyse

Our early experiences with primary caregivers can profoundly affect our relationships later in life — often in ways that are deeply unconscious — and it takes conscious work to change our patterns and facilitate healing. Psychotherapist, Jessica Baum, joins us today to guide us through the different attachment styles and unpack how our early experiences shape adult connections. Tuning in, you’ll learn about the differences between anxious and avoidant attachment styles, why these types tend to be drawn to one another, and how you can support your partner if they are either of these types. We discuss what secure attachment looks like, the benefits of it, and why it’s essential to have a sense of safety in your relationships. Our conversation also unpacks the importance of setting boundaries, the healing practices in Jessica’s book Anxiously Attached, and how parents can support secure attachment in their children. Tune in to learn all about relational patterns and how to embark on a journey toward healthier, more fulfilling relationships!

Key Points From This Episode:

• What led Jessica to the field of psychotherapy.
• How she came to specialize in co-dependency.
• Imago therapy: how it helps us heal original wounds through our relationships.
• What secure attachment looks like.
• Anxious attachment and the signs that you might have this attachment style.
• Steps you can take to start healing from anxious attachment.
• Healing practices in Jessica’s book, Anxiously Attached.
• Understanding how memories and original wounds are stored in the body.
• The importance of setting boundaries for healing to take place.
• Why setting boundaries requires support.
• Parenting styles that prevent anxious attachment in children.
• How parents can support a secure attachment in their child.
• Assessing what level of anxiety is normal (especially in our current society).
• The definition of avoidant attachment.
• Why anxious and avoidant individuals tend to be drawn to one another.
• How social media and dating apps could be contributing to anxious attachment.
• What you can do to support an anxious or avoidant partner.

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Jessica Baum — https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/

Jessica Baum on LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/jessica-baum-lmhc-cap-038a1538/

Jessica Baum on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc/

Be Self-Full — https://www.beselffull.com/

Relationship Institute of Palm Beach — https://www.relationshipspb.com/
Anxiously Attached — https://www.amazon.com/Anxiously-Attached-Becoming-More-Secure/dp/0593331060

Imago Relationship Therapy — https://harvilleandhelen.com/initiatives/what-is-imago/

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

If you’ve been struggling to achieve a perfectly equitable marriage, you’re not alone. Research shows that even couples who prioritize equality often find themselves fighting about fairness in their relationship.

That was the experience of today’s guests, Nate and Kaley Klemp, two high-achieving individuals, who started their marriage believing in a model of fairness, only to discover that, in reality, that balance was virtually impossible to achieve. It was out of this frustration that they developed what they call The 80/80 Marriage, a model rooted in radical generosity and shared success, which led to them co-authoring the New York Times bestselling book The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship.

I talk with Nate and Kaley about the concept of the 80/80 marriage, why fixating on fairness doesn’t work, and how adopting a mindset of radical generosity can transform your relationship. Our conversation also gets into key aspects of their book, like being intentional about each person’s role, creating explicit values, and setting priorities and boundaries together. Join us for a fascinating conversation on equality, radical generosity, and how to strive for an 80/80 relationship!

Key Points From This Episode:

•    Introducing today’s guests, Nate and Kaley Klemp.

•    The story of how they met and got married.

•    Why the first two years of their marriage were so challenging.

•    The many ways couples fight about fairness and why it causes resentment.

•    How they wrote the 80/80 Marriage together.

•    The concept of an 80/80 relationship, and how it differs from one that is 50/50.

•    Why it’s about striving for balance and radical generosity.

•    Steps to creating the right mindset for an 80/80 marriage.

•    How to create the structure for an 80/80 relationship.

•    Building a bridge between mindset and structure through values.

•    How to take a more intentional approach to your roles as a couple.

•    Setting priorities and boundaries as a couple (and why it can be so liberating).

•    Insights on what to do when you have an unwilling or reluctant partner.

•    How to approach your partner about entering an 80/80 relationship.

•    Nate’s new book Open: Living with an Expansive Mind in a Distracted World.

Quotes:

“We're really the first generation in all of human history, striving toward equal marriage. [0:05:39]

“There's no such thing as 160% of anything. The whole idea is [that] it doesn't make sense, [so] strive. And then, [with] both parties striving for 80%, you land somewhere in the space of balance.”  [0:11:18]

“There are no good or bad, or right or wrong, values. There are known and implicit values. When you have known, or explicit, or agreed to, values, then you have a north star, where you can build the structure of your relationship. When you have implicit values, it's very challenging.”  [0:23:54]

“Most couples have never taken that step back and [have] never thought from an intentional place: ‘How could we redesign our roles, such that [it] really works for both of us?’”  [0:28:05]

“For many couples, when even just one person shifts to 80/80, it opens up a new space for the other person, who might be the undercontributor, to contribute more and to be generous in turn.”  [0:37:11]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Nate Klemp

Nate Klemp on LinkedIn

Nate Klemp on X

Kaley Klemp

Kaley Klemp on LinkedIn

Kaley Klemp on X

The 80/80 Marriage

The 80/80 Marriage on Instagram

The 80/80 Marriage: A New Model for a Happier, Stronger Relationship

Open: Living with an Expansive Mind in a Distracted World

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

On the show today we welcome Dan and Dawn Williams, master-slave couple, kink enthusiasts podcast hosts and authors of the new book Living M/S! Our guests unpack their own experiences of discovering their submissive and dominant sides and how they found each other and each other's limits.

They explain some basics about the master-slave dynamic and how it fits into the broader world of BDSM and kink play. They explain the important role of trust and the things that are pivotal in making a relationship like theirs work. We talk a bit about the events, parties and activities which they enjoy and Dan and Dawn are so open and honest, explaining the erotic nature of their lives.

The conversation also covers, shame, abusive relationships and how sharing stories, using cards and watching porn can help certain couples.

• Dan and Dawn's awakening to their dominant and submissive sides.
• A little bit about how their master-salve relationship works.
• Earning trust and taking responsibility for mistakes. 
• Contrasting Dawns and Dan's average day with other relationships.
• Parties, dungeons and the BDSM play that the couple enjoy.
• The parts of play that each of them engage with.
• Considering the erotic and non-erotic elements of play.
• Some of the issues of shame related to submission. 
• Comparing a sub-dom relationship with an abusive relationship.
• The helpful act of sharing naughty stories and porn. 
• And much more!

“In our case, it happens to be a male led relationship where I happen to be in charge. What that means is that I take responsibility for everything in the relationship.” [0:03:45]

“If something needs to be addressed, it’s addressed head on instead of sideways. It’s a very authentic relationship where we’ve decided, what do we want this relationship to be.” [0:11:05]

Bad Girls Bible Newsletter — https://badgirlsbible.com/newsletter

Erotic Awakening Podcast — http://www.eroticawakening.com

Dan and Dawn Email — [email protected].

Living MS — https://www.amazon.com/Living-Masters-slaves-Their-Relationships/dp/1610981952/

The Kink Starter — http://www.eroticawakening.com/kinkstarter/

Today on the Bad Girl's Bible we a joined by a very special listener named Jaime, who is here to tell us about how her and her husband turned their marriage around after some very tough times. Early into their new marriage, Jaime's husband started to experience some pretty serious health challenges and after his diagnosis and medical prescriptions became increasingly moody and difficult to be around.

This, in conjunction with Jaime's own health and anxiety issues, led to a very difficult time, emotionally and in the bedroom. It took a few drastic changes that happened around the time of a mortal scare for her husband to take the relationship back to a healthy place and into territory that Jaime never even dreamed of. Jaime takes us through their complete history, early dates and the proposal before getting into the troubled period.

She talks about how different things are now and the difference in connection she feels when they make love. For all this and much more, be sure to join us today!

• Jaime's childhood, parents and the atmosphere at home.
• The first day that her and her future husband met.
• Proposal, the wedding and the early days of marriage.
• Jaime's husband's health problems and the first diagnosis.
• How the medication affected her husband's moods and their relationship.
• Jaime's own health problems that she was experiencing at the same time.
• The near death experience that turned her husband's life around.
• Changing their sex life around and the effect of the Blowjob Bible.
• How the challenges have strengthened their relationship.
• The times that Jaime considered giving it up.
• How Jaime's life has turned out differently to her expectations.
• The role of her faith in helping her through tough times.
• Advice from Jaime to listeners in similar situations.
• And much more!

“That’s how he is now, he brushes off all the little things and doesn’t let him bother anymore.” —  Jaime [0:15:30]

“Sometimes it does take something life altering to make you decide that it’s time to change how you live your life and the way you treat other people.” — Jaime [0:16:58]

Today on The Bad Girls Bible Podcast we are joined by small-town girl, Jenny, who shares with us about growing up in a poor family with parents who did not always get along, moving around frequently and how she and her husband first met.

Jenny talks about their secret relationship, moving in together, how he convinced her to get married after all and the challenges of raising their kids together. The unexpected death of a loved one caused a massive rift in their relationship, however, and her life started slowly spiraling out of control.

Not being able to openly mourn her loss, Jenny went into a major depression during which she behaved in erratic ways that threatened her life and that brought even greater discord in her marriage. She tells of the regrets she has, how she has learned to cope with her loss and what she advises every listener to hold onto in such difficult circumstances. Don’t miss out on this very moving conversation!

Key Points From This Episode:

• More about Jenny’s experience growing up in an unhappy family.
• How she met her husband and their first few months knowing each other.
• What is was like seeing each other in secret while being in relationships with other people.
• Their relationship when they moved in together and having to deal with their exes.
• The difficulty of feeling like she had to do everything herself.
• The challenge of raising their kids together and having different parenting styles.
• Why she never thought of getting married and how he arranged the entire wedding.
• Losing a girlfriend to pneumonia and not being able to mourn her openly.
• Dealing with her husband’s resentment and jealously after her girlfriend passed away.
• Becoming clinically depressed, isolating herself and turning to self-harm.
• The intense moment she realized that she needed help. 
• The up and downside of moving to a new place and being lonely a lot of the time.
• What happened when her husband finally left her.
• Getting her daughter back home and what it meant to her.
• How practicing mindfulness and breathing techniques helps her to deal with her emotions.
• Dealing with the disappointment of her life not turning out how she expected it to.
• And much more!

Tweetables:

“I went into a major depression; a clinical depression, anxiety, and I was just locking myself away. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to go to work.” — Jenny [0:17:05]

“He just stopped caring and he said he just started picturing me dead already and that he had thought of what he was going to say at the funeral and stuff. He just kind of wrote me off already.” — Jenny [0:18:55]

On the show today we’re talking to someone who has suffered immense emotional trauma but who has come out the other side stronger, wiser and ready to love again. Our guest really inspires those who have been through divorce, a partner’s infidelity, miscarriage or have been dealt an unfair hand, sharing openly about her two failed marriages, suffering multiple miscarriages and discovering her husband’s affair while pregnant in their first year of marriage.

To add to our guest’s array of disappointments, she poignantly tells us about the letter that ended her second marriage and which left her devastated and alone. Having a partner abandon her after what she believed to have been twelve wonderful years, she had to work through the difficult circumstances all on her own, including managing the business they owned together, while he effectively disappeared for weeks.

She talks about struggling with feelings of guilt and not being enough, and how therapy and support from friends and family restored her hope of finding love again. For more about how this woman conquered the many obstacles in her life, don’t miss out on this episode of the Bad Girls Bible Podcast!

Key Points From This Episode:

• More about Susan’s background and being adopted into a wonderful family.
• How she met her second husband and their early days together.
• The age gap and her thought processes around it. 
• Falling pregnant a second time and having a series of miscarriages following the first.
• Why it is so difficult for Australian citizens to adopt.
• Her unfulfilling first marriage and their lack of intimacy.
• Her gut feeling about her second husband’s infidelity.
• How her partner’s infidelity consumed her and realizing that she needed to forgive.
• The devastating letter that ended their marriage.
• Being concerned for her husband’s mental state and worrying that he might end his own life. 
• The hardest thing about his abandonment and how it impacted her daughter.
• Struggling with feelings of inadequacy and feeling partly responsible for his decision to leave.
• Having to deal with her pain, their business and sharing the news with others by herself. 
• Getting to a place where she is ready to pursue love again.
• The importance of not being reactive is such circumstances.
• And much more!

Tweetables:

“I thought, hang on a minute, I’m pregnant, we’re in our first year of marriage and you are cheating on me? I was really devastated.” — Susan [0:15:56]

“I felt like he was my soul mate, that’s why it was just so soul-destroying when he left me in the manner that he left me.” —  Susan [0:24:01]

“I’m a hopeless romantic, I believe in love still, so, I’m willing to put myself out there.” —  Susan [0:31:40]

On today’s show we welcome Lee, who is here to tell us her personal story and how her husband cheating on her boosted her libido due to a phenomenon called hysterical bonding.  Hysterical bonding is a term which hasn't been studied extensively yet. However, it's a phenomenon that many people can relate to.

It describes what happens when someone is cheated on by their partner, or is broken up with, and they want to do anything to win back their ex's affections. It sounds counter-intuitive and paradoxical, but that's because there are many different emotions at play. We’re discussing her marriage of 24 years, how she found out that her husband had been cheating on her and what led her to sticking around and wanting to rebuild the relationship. To hear more about Lee’s story, stay tuned!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Hear more about Lee’s background.
• Growing up with an alcoholic, verbal abusive father.
• How Lee met her husband and got married 11 months into the relationship.
• The first signs that something wasn’t right.
• How Lee’s car accident and neck injury led to her being dependent on pain medication.
• The effect of the pain medication on Lee’s libido.
• Why guys who are getting fulfilled still go out looking for more.
• Having found the love of your life but also wanting sex or a relationship outside of that.
• Finding out about the other women.
• When the hysterical bonding kicked in.
• How Lee regained her libido and has been having sex 2/3 times a day since.
• Trying to rebuild the relationship, starting in the bedroom.
• Lee’s advice to listeners going through a similar situation with their partner.
• And so much more!

Tweetables:

“Our first several years of marriage were, I mean, I wouldn’t say perfect because I don’t think there’s a thing as perfect but I was very happy and I felt like he was too.” — Lee [0:09:51]

“I was keeping him satisfied, the problem was, you know, I think he was not happy with the fact that he wasn’t able to satisfy me.” — Lee [0:15:37]

“How can I be just totally heartbroken, devastated and at the same time want my husband?” — Lee [0:29:55]

On the show today we welcome Geanni, who is here to tell us all about her personal story and how she found out that her husband had got another woman pregnant while they were still married. This sort of situation is understandably distressing, but Geannie has a great perspective on it and offers amazing advice and insight that she has learned along the way. She gives us some of the backstory of how her and her husband got together and the marriage before explaining the period in which the infidelity came to light. She talks about her commitment to the marriage and how they actually managed to get over the issue for a period before the relationship ended. She also goes into her feelings on their relationship currently, how they share a child and the parenting process for her. For all of this and a fascinating interview from Geannie, be sure to tune in!

• Some personal background on Geannie.
• Meeting her husband in high school and getting to know him. 
• The proposal and getting married soon after school.
• Confronting her husband about her suspicions. 
• Reconciling after the initial separation and the role of Geannie’s spirituality in this.
• Geannie’s husband’s fears of pregnancy with the other women.
• The decision to try and overcome this massive hurdle and the difficult first year. 
• Geannie’s current relationship with her husband and the family they have.
• Advice from Geannie to listeners in a similar situation.
• Geannie’s contact with her husband’s child and the mother. 
• And much more!

“We started dating early in 2006 and that was my senior year in high school. It was his junior year in high school. We were married in October of 2007.” — Geannie [0:03:32]

“I just kept digging until I found something and so when I accused him, when I finally went to him, he denied it.” — Geannie [0:08:30]

Bad Girls Bible — https://badgirlsbible.com

Welcome back to another episode of The Bad Girls Bible Podcast. Today on the show, we are joined by Alaina Schwartz to talk about her marriage of 17 and a half years and her subsequent divorce. Alaina grew up on long island in New York in a family of staunch disciplinarians that was incredibly emotionally dysfunctional, emotionally violent and sometimes even physically so. After high school, Alaina moved away to New York where she went to law school, and eventually was a lawyer in the music industry for almost 18 years. Today she is a successful transformational mindset and business coach, who teaches her clients the same mindset tools that radically changed her life. In this episode we talk about everything from how her husband was incredibly romantic at first, how she started to realize something wasn’t quite right in her relationship, how she earned more than him, and also how she stayed positive since divorcing him. So for an incredibly honest, and insightful conversation, be sure to tune in to today’s episode.

• Alaina’s background story and her early life.
• The day the Alaina met her ex husband: love at second sight.
• Timeline and story of how Alaina’s ex husband proposed.
• Alaina’s fairytale wedding in Central Park.
• The first couple of years of their marriage.
• The incident that led up to their marital problems.
• Alaina’s heartbreak and challenges with her in-laws.
• The lowest point Alaina experienced in her marriage.
• When Alaina finally decided to move on with her life.
• Facing the allegations of being called an “unfit mother”.
• How Alaina’s life has turned out differently than what she expected.
• Why Alaina has no regrets from her past.
• Advice for listeners who are going through a divorce: mindset shift.

“I was determined to try to make it work every day I was there and every day I was rejected by him.” — @alaina_s7 [0:25:25]

“There was no doubt that I thought we were going to be together forever that we would figure out a way to make that work.” — @alaina_s7 [0:26:26]

“There can be multiple people that are really good for us in our lives at different times in our lives, depending on how we grow.” — @alaina_s7 [0:26:46]

Alaina Schwartz — https://alainaschwartz.com/ 

Alaina on Twitter — https://twitter.com/alaina_s7

On today’s show we welcome Dr. Lori Brotto, a Professor in the department for Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of British Columbia and the Canada Research Chair in Women’s Sexual Health.

Lori has also the author of the book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire. In this episode we are discussing sexual desire, and how a low desire or lack of interest in sex is by far the most common sexual concern, not only in women but in men as well. Many people struggle for different reasons, both psychologically and socially. Lori helps us today to uncover those struggles and those reasons and step beyond our negative beliefs to reignite our sexual desires through mindfulness. For an incredibly insightful conversation, be sure to tune in to today’s episode!

Key Points From This Episode:

• Hear more about Lori and how she became a sex researcher and sex therapist.
• Researcher’s findings on reasons why women experience low sexual desire.
• Why low sexual desire is often confused.
• Understanding how mood and depression suppresses desire.
• How your beliefs can impact your desire.
• Cognitive behavioral therapy and how it can effectively treat sexual complaints.
• Physical conditions people can have that may interfere with sexual function.
• A female Viagra solution to fix female sexual arousal disorder, how terrible can it be?
• Struggling to reach orgasm during sex: whether you’re lacking desire or full of it.
• How mindfulness can help women and man be more present and reignite desire.
• Lori share some stories from her book on how mindfulness can be useful.
• Adopting a regular mindfulness practice and engaging the muscle of the mind.
• And so much more!

Tweetables:

“Low desire or lack of interest in sex is by far the most common sexual concern, not only in women but in men as well.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:04:01]

“Negative beliefs in the brain can also stimulate certain brain path ways that interfere with desire and arousal.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:11:21]

“Pretty much anything that impacts hormones has the potential to impact sexual response.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:14:35]

“If you are going to have sex, you may as well show up for it.” — @DrLoriBrotto [0:27:30]

Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:

Dr. Lori Brotto — http://www.loribrotto.com/

Dr. Lori on Twitter — https://twitter.com/DrLoriBrotto

Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire — https://www.amazon.com/Better-Sex-Through-Mindfulness-Cultivate/dp/1771642351/

University of British Columbia — https://brottolab.med.ubc.ca/about/dr-lori-brotto/